Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 199: Wedding Chapels in Las Vegas, NV

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Porch Pegging and dad hats are in!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tour Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. And if you're just joining us, we're live from Evan's living room. It looks like Evan is about to purchase tickets to today's match. Kate, the real test is, will he use the BMO Toronto FC cashback MasterCard? Well, if he wants to earn cashback on his purchases, he will, and... Oh, hang on. He's at the computer with his card, he's done it. Clicky click magic trick. The clicker around the room. You guys just about finished. Sorry, we got excited. Thanks for snagging those tickets. Make every purchase highlight worthy with the BMO Toronto FC cash back master card. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Good afternoon. Welcome to Beachy Sandy Water 2 at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your host X-Team. I'm your host Zandy. How's it going? It's going. Good. I've been researching wedding Zandy. How's it going? It's going. Good. I've been researching wedding chapels. That's weird.

It is weird. Are you getting married in a wedding chapel? I'm not. Me neither, and yet I've been doing the same thing. Gasp. If you couldn't tell by the title of this episode, we're doing reviews of Vegas wedding chapels. Yeah, this is a weird one.

This was definitely a Patreon choice. I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. Now you know whenever she's talked about patrons, that's the tone she's felt. No, what I meant was this is definitely something where I didn't know it was coming. And then you texted me, by the way, the episode is going to be Vegas Wedding Chapels. So she goes, is that a Patreon comment? I said, yes.

Yeah, because I was like, I don't remember this from our future or from our past conversations. But it was a, I thought it was a very good one. Yes. No, I think so too. To be clear. I don't really have anything to add unless you want to start. I'll start because I have a little thing first. It's an article on Thrillist by Rob Katchelreis. Rob, buddy Rob, posted this in 2014.

Rockly Rob. Titled Weird Weddings, the 10 strangest places to get married in Las Vegas. Ooh! No offense to Rob, some of these aren't that strange. But some of them are very strange, so it balances out. Some of these aren't that strange, but some of them are very strange. So it balances out. I was just thinking like 10 is a lot in one city, but I guess if you're going to do it at all, Vegas is the place to do it. Maybe I say that because I found this article after looking up a bunch of wedding chapels and I thought, what do you mean the Graceland wedding chapel?

That's so normal. Please. That's like level one if you're getting married in Vegas, in my opinion. Also, as an American, another one of the options, the gun store. I thought, yeah, that seems like, of course that would be a thing. In Alcindor's notes app, that is in his future wedding venues, like wish list. You mean my wedding Pinterest? Oh, no.

I just have a bunch of guns. I wish I knew that when I did research. I didn't know that existed. There's also Kiss Mini Golf. They couldn't decide on one theme, huh? And there's also, I think related, is the Rock and Roll. I don't know if you saw that. I think it's the Rock and Roll Chapel. And then, let's see, what else is there?

You can get married at the Mob Museum. Oh, God. Oh, and else is there? You can get married at the Mob Museum. Oh, God. Oh, and then Rob makes a classic joke. Perfect for those who feel like marriage is like a jail sentence. Good one, Rob. I like it. You know, classic Rob. The only time I like a joke like that is when people are getting married at the Mob Museum.

In the Grand Canyon, you can get a helicopter. I was going to say, that's a helicopter one. And my favorite, at Denny's. No. The Denny's on Fremont Street has a wedding chapel. No. I found only one review of it as a wedding venue, and it was pretty basic. Five stars.

We were the first to get married here. It was wonderful. That's cool. So it was a positive, but I wish there was something a little more exciting about the denny's wedding chapel i feel like you gotta sift through a lot of those denny's reviews if you're looking for one just about weddings you're like exactly i did that was overdone i went to the trip advisor one and i searched for word wedding but most people just said oh you can have your wedding here or i searched for married and they said you can get married here. They have a chapel.

But no one actually did. I see. That's fun. And that leads me into my other thing I did, which is looked at the rock and roll chapel. Okay. I don't have a review of it. Don't worry. I do have reviews, but I did want to...

I was reading through what this place offers oh yeah i think i'm wild i don't i didn't look this place up so a lot of different packages the basic one you get a certificate you get a poker you get poker chips um and what i said that's fun yeah it's like kiss themed stuff uh temporary tattoos uh two kiss mini golf passes and then you know as it goes up it just adds some things like photographer wait kiss mini golf packages to the other venue to the yeah to be able to play kiss mini golf for free at the other place at kiss mini golf right yeah not at the rock and roll right this venue... They have some sort of deal. Or they're connected.

I wouldn't be surprised because all of this is mainly Kiss themed. Also, the mob is involved, so you never know how underground all this stuff gets. Eventually, you start getting things like shot glasses, lanyards. Whoa! That's got to be the platinum package. And it has just different like photo packages. So a lot of different things. But then the best part, choose your rock star minister. Oh, hell yeah.

So this is, see, this is so fun. I love that people do this. And enough where it's such a thing. Yes. You know, it just makes me very happy that people go to these to get married. It makes me very unhappy that none of my friends have decided to do this and I don't get to participate. So true. Sandy, I'm looking at you. Yeah, that's okay.

Minigolf? Minigolf? No, yeah. I'm not a fan of Kiss. I wonder if you can pick the theme and just cancel one of them out. Like, no Kiss, just Minigolf. You know, actually, I'll rephrase. I'm not a fan of Gene Simmons.

So maybe we'll have Paul Stanley there. I actually don't know anything about him. Honestly, the package might be cheaper if you take Gene Simmons out of it. Maybe. Actually, not really, because Gene Simmons is one of the $250 minister options, which is pretty one of the basic ones. If you don't want to spend that much, you can spend half and $125. You either get the traditional minister or the sinister minister. Oh, I want that one. Uh,

that is quote fun with personality and rockstar look. Oh, so that's like a generic rockstar look. I see. Sure. But if you want a specific, uh, uh,

but if you want a specific, um, actually slashes, no, no top hat. Cause slash is in the $250. No, he's not. Yeah.

Do you want to hear some other people? Yes. I'm not going to read all of them. It's every member of Kiss, first of all. Elvis, of course. Meatloaf. Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror. Angus Young from ACDC.

Billy Idol. David Bowie. Marilyn Manson. Cyndi Lauper. Katy Perry. Whoa, that's a- That is a turn. That's a curveball. Then Slash, Katy Perry. Whoa, that's a turn. That's a curveball.

Then Slash, Alice Cooper, Marilyn Monroe. They really did pick, wow, they really did pick like the most recognized. I mean, for obvious reasons, but like all very fun. Like I can picture this in my mind. And then there's Beetlejuice and Elvira. Whoa, I want Elvira. Wait, Beetlejuice, that's so fun. I I want Elvira. We have Beetlejuice. That's so fun.

I think the best part, though, is that way at the bottom it says, and more. Don't see the rock star you like? Please inquire. It's like, we'll figure it out. They have a back room with just all the makeup and wigs. They're like, we will make it work, whatever you want. So that was all the $251. $275, so an extra $25, you can get Ozzy Osbourne.

Okay. He's the only one at that tier. I wonder why that's more. Maybe, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that specific person charges more. Yeah. Then if you jump all the way to $425.

Oh, now here's the good stuff. Just one person, Prince. He's on his own level? Of course he is. He's Prince. I know, but I'm so, so glad that they just didn't even fuck around at the kiss the oh no this isn't the kiss themed place basically is but yes the rock and roll chapel yeah um now here comes the part where i made me very glad i scrolled

maybe that's it made me very glad that you scrolled. Okay. This is the $500 tier. Okay. And instead of Minister, it's Mini-Stir options. And then parentheses, little people are expensive. It says that? Yes. Do you think I'm going to say that? No, but I'm shocked that it says that.

So you can get mini versions of the following rock stars. What? Mini Paul Stanley. Mini Gene Simmons. Mini Angus Young. Mini Alice Cooper. Mini Elvis. Mini Steven Tyler.

Steven Tyler wasn't even in the first group. Yeah, wait a second. And then Mini Dee Snider, who also wasn't in. What the hell? They spelled Dee Snider wrong. And then Ted, which I assume. And then it's. The bear? I think so. No's the bear i think so i don't

know i don't know unless it's some guy named ted which either way i'm not sure how to feel so um but he charges and it says at the bottom of the just the of the mini stir options many more i don't know what to do with that information. I was shocked. Shocked? What the hell? I thought, wow, okay. I mean, oh my God, Christina.

What? I'm looking at the gallery. There's literally someone in a Ted costume. It's Ted the Bear. It's gotta be Ted the Bear. What does that have to do with anything? It is amazing. I love it. In the world. It it's so fun this is so goofy oh my god it's literally 10 it's so good as people exchange wedding

i love it oh i love this next to his face it's just so goofy and then like reading oh man this is just so fun anyway that's that's my intro. Quite a corner of the internet we've found. Or not the internet, like the real life world. This is real. This is unfortunately real life world. This shit is real. I can't believe it says little people are expensive. I know.

What on earth is that even about? I can't believe you kind of seemed like you thought I said that. I wasn't. I was just incredulous that anyone said it really, not you. He wasn't. I was just incredulous that anyone said it, really. Not you. Wow, that was absolutely worth the diversion because I feel like I did not get that. Usually I go into those rabbit holes, but I'm glad you did. It sucked me in.

So the first review I have is of a place called Vegas Weddings. And this is a one-star review by Paul. My wife decided to purchase two t-shirts, a his and hers from this chapel's gift shop, And this is a one-star review by Paul. allow her to return the t-shirts or refund her money. I decided to go in and talk to the manager to see what the problem was with returning the t-shirts. I initially spoke to someone at the front desk who stated that they would not accept the t-shirt because they were not a retail store and they didn't know if we had worn the t-shirts and that it was a health and safety issue. I was taken aback by that statement because first they could see and the t-shirts were still in the same shape and condition as when we purchased them and secondly they had actually replaced one to the t-shirts because my wife said it was too large so what happened to the health and safety issue she then stated that she would get Heidi for me since

she was the one that spoke to my wife Heidi who was apparently the minister's manager came downstairs and when I asked her the problem with returning the shirts she said that it clearly states in the contract and emails regarding the ceremony that there is a no-refund policy. I informed Heidi that I did not use their services for a ceremony, so there was no contract signed by me, nor any emails sent to me, so I am not subject to those rules. Heidi then stated that their policy in no return and no refund.

I asked Heidi to show me where in their establishment the no-return and no-refund policy was posted. She stated that it is not posted in the shop. I then asked Heidi to show me where in their establishment the no return and no refund policy was posted. She stated that it is not posted in the shop. I then asked Heidi to show me the policy in writing and she refused.

She said it was just their policy and she did not show it to me and she will not show it to me and at that point she stated, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now

and with that she pressed the button to open the automatic side door. I told Heidi Uh oh, the trap door. To the jet pack got uh-oh the trap door jetpack oh yeah something really sinister is about to happen what is the eject button when they like shoot people out of the car oh my god you know when they do that you know you know anything's possible in

vegas i don't know anymore at these temples what they've got built what like hydraulic systems they've got built into the floor you never know um with that she pushed the button to open the automatic side door i told heidi that was illegal that's illegal and unacceptable i told heidi that this was illegal. Just be aware that any money this establishment is able to get from you, they intend to keep no matter what the situation or circumstances. I hope the small amount they made on the t-shirt was worth their bad reputation and recommendation that they will receive from us on any social media where I can post it. End of review. Sorry, that was so damn long.

What in the world? Why did they buy t-shirts from this place? I don't know. sorry that was so damn long what in the world why did they buy t-shirts from this place it sounds as if they were possessed by something evil that made them buy this t-shirt and then they thought what i don't want this they really i just i love that first line of we decided we did not like them want them or even need them anymore and it's like well i'm confused about where the need originally arose yeah um apparently i guess it's just uh i mean i guess it could be fun to buy t-shirts from like a vegas wedding chapel that say like married at whatever i mean clearly they were not married there so i don't know i don't know if you're doing it as a meme why are you so

adamant about this refund? I wonder. Yeah, that's the weird part, too. And why did you want a different size? Yeah, his wife came back, changed the size. Then they came back again to return it. What is happening? Also, like, you already made it clear they made a very small amount of money on this sale. So, like, you know, give up the ghost, man.

These shirts. I need to, I, maybe I need one. I was going to say, I wish I hadn't even thought to look it up. They must be impressive. I think the place is called Vegas. Did I say, what did I say it was? Yeah. It was something very generic.

Vegas weddings. I bet they have fun merch. I mean, I can imagine that you would get quite, quite of money from people buying t-shirts and swag and stuff. I mean, it makes sense. Oh, what's this? Enhancements. Ooh. Did you have that situation where a lot of it was just about the different upsells?

Yes. My God. This sounds exhausting. This sounds exhausting. It really did. I was like, honestly, at the end of the day, they end up paying thousands and thousands anyway, just to get like access to 10 photos or whatever. It was all over the place. So a lot of these I didn't bring because I read so many negative ones that I thought, well, yeah, that seems kind of scummy. Yeah, it seemed like sketchy the way that they're like, oh, our photographer, you have like 15 minutes in the chapel, but then you have to pay like $500 for the photographs.

Oh, wait, there was a response. Let me see if it's anything interesting or not. Oh, yeah, this is I think part of the reason I picked it. Sorry. This is a response from Mary. Hi, Paul. I'm extremely sorry for any miscommunication after doing my due diligence of reading and following up on your

review i was unable to verify that you ever actually received any service from vegas weddings is this an oversight i'm pretty sure they didn't they said they specifically said okay okay i also attempted to sit down and follow up with the manager you mentioned, Heidi, only to discover that she hasn't worked here in over two and a half years. It was a ghost. Oh, my God. Honestly, can you imagine you died and you went back to your workplace at the Vegas Weddings merch store? I mean, it sounds kind of interesting. You're just like for the rest of your life fighting people on there.

You do get to press the big eject button. Yeah, true. Yeah, that's pretty fun um but i do like also that that this manager is like i actually tried to sit down with the manager and then i realized she wasn't here it's like we met at starbucks who are you sitting with yeah we sat down and she was like yeah i haven't worked there for two years she's like i had to fly in for this meeting i don't even live here anymore i thought you were offering me my job back oh i missed the button heidi you got too excited about that button we had to fire

you it's so sad oh okay my uh first review is of cupid's wedding chapel and this uh review is on a site called wedding wire oh oh i know, I know WeddingWire. They have lots of... That's where I saw that Denny's Chapel review. Oh, it's like The Knot. It's like one of these... It's like everything. It's a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a 2.4 star review because you rate different things. So quality of service, they gave one out of five. Value, two out of five. Got it. So it's a 2.4. It's a 2.4. Wow.

It's a fairly uninteresting review except for the first sentence, so I'm going to just read the first sentence. Food was good, but resulted in food poisoning in 30 out of 35 guests. End of review. Oh no, food was good? Right? Tasty, but boy, did I regret it. 30 out of 35 guests. End of review. Oh, no. The food was good. Right? Tasty, but boy, did I regret it. No, she was one of the five.

She's like, I don't know what everyone's complaining about. I had a great time. So wait. Sorry. This was not the Denny's, right? That's pretty funny. No, this is not. I just wanted to make sure. This is of Cupid's Wedding Chapel.

Wow. But the rest of it was, oh, yeah, they didn't have a dance floor. Guests had to go to the bar to get water. Very basic. They didn't have 30 bathroom stalls for all our guests with food poisoning at once. They said the photographer took some great pictures. But yeah, food was good. But 30 out of 35 people.

I can't get over the fact that they are still claiming it was pretty good. Yeah. Is there a star rating for food or catering? No. Quality, they gave it one. So maybe that's what it is. So they at least got that right. But they gave 4.0 for flexibility.

Oh my God. I don't know what that means in terms of the food and the food poisoning. I don't know what that means in terms of the food and the food poisoning but I don't either maybe they did have all of the um accoutrement for people with food poisoning so it's like they got food poisoning but it's fine there was plenty of space for them we got the dance floor to ourselves uh there was no dance floor Christina oh right we got the they were dancing on the tile floor we got the tile floor to ourselves so that's what i meant nice and cold for when you're get those sweats

sad um okay so this is a review another one of vegas weddings and this is these have updates so i'm gonna read them then tell you the date and then the update um there's three total and these are all by lou one star march 28th 2015 after one and a half years of marriage we are still hurt and disappointed with this place we never thought our wedding would be ruined by the minister heidi oh sorry this is that same lady again. It doesn't even work there. Chill, people. Usually I change the name of people, and I did not this time. Of all times to not change the name. It's when it's used multiple times. It's when it's used constantly.

We never thought our wedding would be ruined by the minister, Heidi. She was rude and did not care about us at all. We wanted at least a religious ceremony, and she said she would do that. Then she lied and did not do what we requested. And our coordinator backstabbed us. And we believe that some of the excellent reviews were written by Vegas Wedding to make them look and sound better than they really are. So if this is fine for you, go ahead and use this place. But if you want the wedding of your dreams to last a lifetime, go somewhere else.

What did the coordinator do? I don't... backstabbed. I don't know. In this... i'm trying to my imagination i'm trying to think of um well so they wanted a religious wedding which is like you're probably in the wrong place for that if you're in a place called sin city i'm just saying i mean just like objectively speaking i don't you know yeah i feel like it's not the place where you should expect that service but i don't know maybe maybe i'm wrong here's an update this was written two days later march 30th 2015

one and a half years after our wedding we are still angry at vegas wedding we never thought our wedding would be ruined by the minister heidi she was rude and did not care for us at all we wanted a somewhat religious ceremony and she said she would then lied to us and did not care for us at all. We wanted a somewhat religious ceremony, and she said she would, then lied to us and did not give us the ceremony we wanted. And our planner backstabbed us, and we believe that some of the excellent reviews were written by Vegas Wedding to make themselves look and sound better than they really are. So if you want the wedding of your dreams to last a lifetime, go somewhere else, and this is the second review we are writing

because Vegas Wedding or Yelp deleted the first one. End of review. Obviously they didn't. I. Obviously, they didn't. I have a feeling they didn't. I have a feeling. I thought, why are they changing certain words? It was written differently. It was like they rewrote it, remembering what they had written.

They did a pretty good job. They did. It was almost the same. Days later, yeah. And so this is April 3rd, 2015. Another update? Yeah, this is the third one. How much?

This is the last update. What's the time between these? Oh, uh, three days. So it's four days, then another three days? Uh, sorry. Two days. Oh, two days. Now four days later. Now four days. Yep. Vegas wedding is such a scam. One and a half years after our wedding, we were still angry

that this place ruined our wedding. And we never thought it would be the minister that ruined it and our planner backstabbed us they took from us our wedding memories go somewhere else if you want the wedding of your dreams to last a lifetime end of review oh so this kind of gives a little a little bit more like i'm wondering if this is the photo packages where they just say because a lot of people felt almost duped or like that they, like the backstabbing element might be like, they didn't tell us up front or it was like in the fine print about the pricing or, you know. And it sounds like they, I mean, to be still mad one and a half years later, it sucks.

Because they can't be healthy. Every day, every other day. Three to four days, it strikes again. And I do feel sad about that um check how many likes we have on that review i don't see it oh write another one you gotta write it again where are my post-its i wrote little abbreviations of what to write down yikes yeah some of these though were super sketchy some of the packages and then the differences between them and all these people like, yeah,

suddenly they wanted an extra few hundred dollars or an extra tip for the limo driver or an extra whatever, even though we already paid, blah, blah, blah. It reminds me of like timeshares where they're like, no, it's a free brunch and you don't have to pay anything. And then all of a sudden you're like, wait, why am I like second to some sort of vacation rental?

Yep. Here come the carrots making their way upfield, followed by the whole wheat bread, over to the two dozen eggs. Sir, do you do this every time? Sorry, I've been a little excited ever since I got this BMO Toronto FC cashback MasterCard. Oh, and the broccoli boots that are over the line.

What a goal! How would you like to pay, sir? Credit, please. Make every purchase a win with the BMO Toronto FC Cashback MasterCard with up to 5% cashback on your purchases in your first three months. Terms and conditions apply. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping.

Robo code searching. It takes skill. Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's newudos new phone internet and streaming bundle with the happy stack you can sit back and stack up the savings on kudo internet a sweet phone plan netflix disney plus and amazon prime all starting at just 99 a month stack more spend less the happy Happy Stack, only at KUDO! Conditions apply. My next one is of the Shalimar Wedding Chapel,

titled, Definitely the Worst Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. One star. This is by Jean. Simmons? Mm-hmm. Oh, cool. You had Paul earlier, Paul Stanley. I did.

Here we go. One star. We are so disappointed for making the worst choice possible by selecting the Shalimar Wedding Chapel for our wedding in Las Vegas. The Shalimar was a disaster. We have nothing good to say about this place and their staff. We wish we could give them a zero star. The limo was dirty, late, and the driver did not care to put a tie on or, better yet, dress professionally.

The location was an old... Wait, care to put a tie on, or better yet, dress professionally. The location was an old- Wait, wait, put a tie on or dress. So it's like he didn't put a tie on over his cargo shorts and t-shirt. Yeah. That's the first one. Why are you seeing- do you see- I guess when they open the door for you? I don't know how limos- I've never been in a limo. I guess not.

Have I? Maybe once. I don't know. Maybe not. If someone were driving me around in a limo. I don't know. Maybe not. If someone were driving me around in a limo, I wouldn't... I mean, is a limo driver in your photos? I think you're right that it's just opening the door. Okay.

Would be the only... I would argue you look more ridiculous wearing a tie over an I Heart Vegas shirt than you do just not wearing a tie at all. But I don't know. Agree to disagree. Okay. just not wearing a title but i don't know agree to disagree okay the location was an old dumpy place in the downtown area inside the howard johnson inn which was never disclosed on their website the hojo is surrounded by nude stripper clubs prostitutes and homeless people this is the truth our guests arrived and said wow i hope this wedding was free due to the location. This was very embarrassing, especially if you have young children or affluent people in your wedding party.

Young children or affluent people. Everyone in between could go fuck themselves. Oh my goodness. The pool is attached to the building, so you might see hotel guests walking around with their wet swimming suits while your wedding party is there. Hell yeah. The wedding coordinator was nowhere to be found upon arrival. She was in her swimsuit. so you might see hotel guests walking around with their wet swimming suits while your wedding party is there. Hell yeah. The wedding coordinator was nowhere to be found upon arrival. She was in her swimsuit going down the slide. They had to pull him out of the bar where he was flirting with a woman,

and we are pretty sure he was drunk. He sure didn't smell like Sprite. The wedding coordinator was rude and not professional at all. The office also smelled like bad food. The flower bouquet looked horrible. My five-year-old daughter could have easily done a better job with three roses. The photographer was a nightmare.

We did not care for her. She could not even speak proper English and was dressed very scandalous and was extremely confused. She had to be excused two times before taking photos and had no idea how to pose this or even use her camera we laughed at her pathetic skill actually more than a few times she probably had to be excused she was crying you you monster we laughed at her pathetic skills

it's a bully dear lord did they hire a prostitute off the street? Okay My bride asked me that a few times My bride asked me that a few times And so did our guests We were very sad knowing that the photographs Would be even worse than she was This is terrible I know I felt for this person

Now I'm like, you are a bully Much goes downhill The minister was not dressed professionally And my mother said that she could not believe that he was actually texting while doing the ceremony. Okay, well, I also... I like how it's like my mother said that, not me. I was fine with him on Snapchat. I love how many people are involved in this review now.

I like how her mother's not one of the affluent or children. It's just like, my mother's her own category. This is the first issue she had. The ceremony was very short and very unorganized, and we did not get to say our own vows, even when we were told that the minister will ask us after his own ceremony. The only thing he cared about was his $75, which he sort of demanded at the end.

This was a push tactic for a large mandatory $75 tip that we did not appreciate. The webcam was freezing constantly and had no audio during our ceremony, which our guests online were texting us and complaining about. When we complained, they said it was not a guaranteed service. When we get home and reviewed our DVD and our photos, I must say that we were even more disappointed. The professional DVD had the worst I must say that we were even more disappointed The professional DVD had the worst quality And all the photos were awful

We were supposed to get 30 different poses But there were only 3 different poses on the CD With 30 different camera angles Wow, that made us both so angry We decided to come online and share our disaster experience With everyone else So they don't have their wedding ruined By the Shalimar Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas.

End of review. Wow. Indeed. Yeah. My goodness. First of all, this person seems like a bully. Second of all, all their friends seem like shitty friends. They texted us to complain the whole time that they were watching the Frozen web stream.

I don't know. the whole time that they were watching the frozen web stream i don't know i feel bad that they have to they're surrounded by these people but also feel bad that the people deal with this person too yeah it seems like they deserve each other but also like i love that this wedding chapel is secretly in a howard johnson and nobody told anybody which is amazing it's like, oh yeah, here's the address. Walk past the damp carpeting toward the pool area. Wow. Alexander, I just wish I could be, this is when I wish I could just have cameras like TLC style. Just follow people around.

Make my own reality show for me to watch. This is wonderful. You should. This is a review of Graceland Wedding Chapel. Nice. And this is a one of graceland wedding chapel nice and this is a one-star review by kimmy everything was great except for the awful french canadian minister maybe they use the b team in the off season in vegas if you book with the chapel they will not tell you that if you don't prepare your own vows the minister will go on some weird long spiel about wifely duties god and all the other stuff my subconscious has since suppressed so either prepare your own vows, the minister will go on some weird long spiel about wifely duties, God, and all the other stuff my subconscious has since suppressed. So either prepare your own vows or ask the chapel exactly what Elvis or the kooky minister will be saying.

Can you imagine you get Elvis and he's like, your wifely duties under the presence of God. So it's Elvis or the kooky minister and they pick the kooky minister? I guess so. It sounds as if that's an option. They said, sure, let's go for it. Elvis or the kooky minister. Oh, it's just a misogynist. Oh, that's what they mean.

The kooky minister. Oh, no. It's expensive. It's just a misogynist. I mean. The chapel and or the minister should have asked about our religious affiliation. Well, that didn't help that other guy. I was going to say, they should swap these swap these seems like these people need to swap places

they got what you wanted yeah or given us a description of what the minister was going to say my so is an atheist and despite being catholic if i'd wanted to hear an old fart hint at my wifely duties in a heavy french accent i would have gotten married in a church by pepe lepew that's another option at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I was thinking the same thing. That has to be an option somewhere. Pepe Le Pew. We should email a Rock and Roll chapel and say, hey, I see your and more section.

And more? Is Pepe Le Pew included in that? We assumed when we asked for normal vows that the minister would simply ask us to take each other as husband and wife in sickness and in health, blah blah blah. Instead, the minister went on and on and on, it seemed, and I suspect he was simply trying to kill time. I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up so Elvis could sing the next song. Jack, our limo driver, was a class act. He took so many photos of us outside the chapel.

The front desk ladies were extremely friendly. Elvis had a great voice and persona. We liked a lot of the photos taken of us by the chapel photographer. It's a lovely chapel with hardwood floors now, but really nail down which minister will be officiating and what he or she will be saying. Or just let Elvis do the cheesy vows based on song lyrics. I wish we had done that now. End of review. Informative.

Yeah, just another insight into what is going on over there. There's almost one thing in these that goes wrong. But generally, I feel people have so many nice things to say about the staff. Yeah, there were a lot of positive ones, I will say. Especially about limo drivers. A lot of positives about limo drivers. And photographers. Mostly the issue is money related.

The money, yeah. Exactly. And I guess kooky ministers. And a kooky minister. A French-Canadian kooky minister. I love how specific that is. So specific. Not just any French accent.

Just any. Specifically a Canadian. French and Canadian. Speaking of foreign languages, here's a two-star review of the Shalimar Wedding Chapel. This is by Melody. This one's in Hojo, right? Yes.

Okay. Supposedly. When I looked it up, but that was written in 2013, so things have changed, I think. Here's two stars. This was a nice chapel that had a hotel and restaurant in the same lobby. The chapel itself was super cute. The reason it's not getting more stars, because I was disappointed with the minister, which is why we paid in the first place. We asked for a Spanish minister.

They guaranteed it would be in Spanish. We got a minister, Gary, who gave a horrible ceremony. He spoke low. He spoke 50% English. And the other part, I'm not sure what language. Oh, no. It sounded like Portuguese. So we did not understand part of the ceremony.

They don't do a refund or a discount. And I wish I didn't have to tip the minister. But it was a, quote, donation from $75 to $ 125 dollars required so very upset with this other than that the staff was very friendly and decor was pretty end of review well they thought he was friendly they don't know what he's saying i okay i mean and of all languages spanish they can't provide a spanish-speaking minister i don't get it we couldn't understand what language he was speaking. That was so funny to me. That's bad. I mean, it's sad, but like, that's a, I mean, I feel like that would be a good story one

day, but then again, I would never be in this position. So I shouldn't say how they should feel about it. Wow. Oh my gosh. We couldn't, he was just muttering in a different language. And they were like, what the hell is this guy saying? Can you imagine being on the live stream and being like, what's he saying? Like, you have that with people.

Sometimes you think, or you're watching something, or you're listening to a song, and you think, is this English? You can't totally tell. Yeah, where it sort of sounds like it. So I wonder if that's how they felt. Is this Spanish? It's like, I don't think so. Why can't we understand what he's saying?

Yeah, there's something off here. Also, there must be a law right like can you actually be married if you didn't understand any of the vows like isn't that a law where you i don't know how that works but i feel like you have to probably agree to what they're saying you'd think oh man that's pretty impressive uh okay let's see here's a one-star review. This is another one of Graceland Wedding Chapel, and it's a one-star review by Steven Tyler. I've never been here, but their phone line is linked to mine. I am tired of receiving phone calls at my personal home line. This has gone on now for eight months,

and I made my second formal complaint today. Please stop calling me or legal action will take place for harassment. End of review. Oh no. Here's a response by business owner, Daniela. I'm sorry there's been some confusion, Stephen, but our numbers are not linked. It sounds like our business number and your personal number are very similar, but unfortunately we have no control over individuals dialing incorrectly.

I've confirmed our number on all our pages is correct, but feel free to reach out to us directly if there's any way we can address your concerns cordially daniella gm so i feel they just have a couple digits off and probably drunk people are calling him i don't really know but that's what it seems like all things i can't tell if this is amazing or especially amazing or especially awful for it to be specifically a Vegas wedding chapel. It's so interesting. It's so fascinating, I'm sure, to get some of these phone calls, but also so obnoxious.

Honestly, I think if it weren't your home line, it would be a lot better because then you could just silence your phone and like send them to a voicemail. And I feel like on a home line, if it's always ringing. Those would be some funny voicemails, I'm sure. I think so. I mean, I'll take it off his hands if he wants to trade numbers with me. I feel like that could be fun. You could make a TikTok account.

He's going to get all these calls from hospitals about Crohn's disease. Oh, yeah. Right. The numbers I get are not much better. Actually, I'd argue they're probably a lot worse. See? That's what I'm thinking. I'd get a wedding chapel than than a health thing so hey 100 i only have one more but it's a redemption of the shallamar wedding chapel great this is by

d snyder this is by the general manager of the howard johnson in this is a five-star review comes with a photo that i'll tell you about in a sec this was posted two weeks ago okay got married at the shalimar wedding chapel 30 years ago and we are still married elvis did us right how about having us back end of review and there's this photo and it's like the most amazing? It's like a retro. Oh, I love it. If you think of who would, what photo, like picture in your mind a photo. Wedding chapel in Vegas, 30 years ago, two people getting married. What does it look like?

That's exactly this photo. Which is like 90s, like outfits, hair. It's perfect. Alexander, that's great stuff. Isn't that so sweet? What a beautiful... I love when people have positive throwbacks. And they posted a photo.

How cute. Well, I'm glad you read that because now I'm going to read one in a very similar vein that's not a redemption. And this is also of Graceland Chapel. This is by Ted. Just Ted. Just Ted. Yeah, the bear. I know. Yeah. Three stars. My ex and I renewed our marriage vows with you over 15 years ago. My name is Ted. I need a last name. Stevenson. Johnson. Howard Johnson. Ted Howard Johnson. johnson howard johnson ted howard johnson my ex and i renewed our marriage vows with you over 15 years ago my name is ted johnson and

her was nancy johnson and we had a ball but after six years more of marriage she asked for a divorce i don't recommend anybody renew all their vows with you it ruined my marriage end of review oh Oh, no. It's unfortunate. Is that actual? It's a real profile. But is that the legal reason for the divorce? They annulled it based on, oh, you got married into Howard Johnson.

I'm sorry. That actually never was a viable marriage. You couldn't understand the minister? What language was it in? He was speaking Portuguese? What? No. Oh, no. It's so sad. Yeah. was it in? Portuguese? What? No. Oh, no.

It's so sad. Yeah. I also like that it's a three star. He's like, you know, we did have our good times. Oh, that's sad. They had six years of marriage after the renewal of the house. Yeah. So that's a little.

But I guess. Did they argue about having it there for six whole years and then eventually it... Yeah, the six years is where it all went downhill, maybe. Oh, that's sad. They did put, like, I changed the name, obviously, but they did put, like, their full first and last name and their ex's first and last name. Oh, dear. Very strange. Sorry to hear that about your marriage, Ted.

And now I think I have one i have two more here is a one-star view of a place called little church of the west wedding chapel this is a one-star review by zz top i just drove by this little piece of shit property it brought back so many terrible memories of my wedding night in 2007. They had booked a Polish rock star's wedding before ours, which cut our time in the chapel down to 15 fucking minutes. The guy that wed us sounded like an auctioneer and truly made our night total shit. I hope lightning strikes this little shithole and burns it to the ground. If you're looking for a Vegas wedding, go to the little white chapel at the other end of the boulevard.

End of review. And here's the response. Oh, there's a response? By business manager. I'm sorry that you had a poor experience. I've reviewed our records and we did not have any Polish rock stars. You know how usually they're like, we did not have your wedding.

Anyone with your name, yeah. It's like we didn't have a wedding. Oh my gosh. How do you know? Maybe he used an alias, but whatever. I reviewed our records and we did not have any Polish rock stars wedding. Regardless, we treat each and every couple with the utmost respect. The fact that we win the best wedding chapel award from the best of Las Vegas every year

can attest to our high standard of customer service. With our most basic package, your time in the chapel is about 15 minutes. With the larger packages, you would package your time in the chapel is about 15 minutes with the larger packages you would have more time in the chapel this would be for the ceremony as well as photography as a side note i am appalled at the obscene language used and the threatening nature of this review oh i have to respond i mean yeah i hope the lightning strikes a little much uh but yeah i love a little much just a little much just a tad yeah that it didn't phase me at all i thought oh yeah that's pretty tame and they responded and said it wasn't tame and i thought you know what they're actually right you know what they're 100 maybe i'm too desensitized yeah i think we've just seen too much at this point but yeah i love that we went through they didn't look for

this user's wedding they looked for the polish rock star as if you could just scroll through and find it based on name alone i don't know they like look for by occupation oh maybe rock star polish rock star ethnicity polish okay this is the last one i have this is another review of the little Church of the West Wedding Chapel. And it's a one-star review by Katie Perry. Katie Perry. One star. Don't risk your wedding at this chapel. It's a nightmare. I have no doubt some people come to Vegas, get drunk, get rowdy, and cause a scene.

But in this case, I was at the wedding and it was not the case. Here's how the wedding went. Group of just over a dozen people stands outside. Chapel employee rounds us up to enter. We are given no instructions other than being told the ceremony would take 15 minutes. Guests enter. Guests stand when bride enters. Bride and group exchange vows. They begin to exchange wedding rings.

Then the guy who is taking pictures begins screaming. We heard everything from, Sit down! The minister told you to sit down! Not true. Then, i'm the director we even got stop the wedding what this is part of the package maybe like added drama added flair that's at the mob museum or something it's like the yeah it's like the my best friend's wedding package and you like have somebody come to interrupt at the you know crucial moment does anyone object and they didn't have an extra so they used the photographer

we even got stop the wedding he yelled at the minister too you've got to control these people it was ridiculous i don't know why he kept screaming especially when the only people not seated were two friends who were crouching by the pew taking photos and videos i assumed the director feared my friends wouldn't buy his photography package and that was the reason for his outbursts by the way i'd like to wow personally purchase the videographer package because i want to see all of this i know right i'm telling you i want to create this reality show you could have made the money back by posting it on youtube honestly you could be tiktok famous by now there was really no reason to scream we left word for the chapel owner greg to call to discuss we never heard from him now channel

eight is reporting that the chapel owner said we were drunk and unruly. We're not a group of frat guys from the Midwest on our first trip to Vegas. We all live here. And not to mention, we didn't have anything to drink prior to the ceremony. The chapel offered to perform another ceremony for free. Really? Is that a joke? We have all sworn off having anything to do with this chapel while Mr. Gary I'm the Director Perez works there. Are we supposed to do a take two and let him scream at us again? What the fuck is going on? Elvis. After the director stopped screaming at us, he defused the situation the best he could by walking to the front of the room and breaking into song. What the fuck is going on?

This sounds incredible. Where's the problem here? It sounds perfect. We appreciated the effort, but still, the damage was done. Please watch the video, How This Chapel Treats Its Customers, on this YouTube link. The link doesn't work.

I called it. I'm sorry. They're trying to make their money back. Channel 8 got a hold of it, though. I cannot believe. Why did Channel 8 get involved at all? If they're like, Channel 8 says we were drunk, but like, it's like, why were they involved at all?

I feel something's missing. Something must have gone on, right? I mean, enough for the local news. Not that the local news is always about everything important but they gotta have a reason there had to be some reason someone informed the local news like somebody had to call them and say i've got a story for you based on the outbursts i wouldn't be surprised if it was the quote-unquote director yeah either that or like the police got involved and they heard it on the police scanner i don't know how else Channel 8 would have gotten a hold of this story.

So wild. But yeah, I love that, like how much they appreciated that he walked to the front of the room and broke into song and they were like, we very much appreciated his efforts to right his wrongs. It's like, that's what did it for you? They sound like they were drunk if that's what worked for them. They were like, this is what we've been hoping for. Yeah, so, I mean, maybe I'll try to do a local news search later from this date and see if I can find anything.

But that's all I've got for now. What a great collection of Vegas Wedding Chapel reviews. But now it's time for my challenge. Okay. Which was from Yanni, he, him. And the challenge was to find a review where someone was forced to apologize. Okay. I got three.

Great. It was fun. Surprisingly, not that many that I could find. I thought there'd be a lot more. But it wasn't hard. It was just like I found the three pretty quick, but there were no other results. Really? So maybe I just sucked at it. I don't know. But yeah, but I think these were pretty spot on with the challenge, at least. Great. All righty. Okay, so my first one is of Ladon Pastry and Nuts.

of Ladon Pastry and Nuts. Oh, sure. In Markham, Ontario, Canada. And for context, Samanu, S-A-M-A-N-U, is a sweet paste made from germinated wheat and wheat flour. Okay. You're welcome. This is by Shane.

I bought Samanu from this place, and it was awfully bad. I bought this item from them a couple times ago and it was good but this time something was wrong with it when I went back to them with the problem and asked why the owner started screaming at me and made me apologize to him he told me there's nothing wrong with it and I quote as a costumer have a problem never going back to this place. End of review. I just,

something that's so funny about this concept is like, they made me, it's like, not like he told me to apologize. Like he made me apologize. It sounds like he did apologize. Like, it sounds like he successfully made me apologize to him.

Do you know what I mean? Like, it sounds like. Do they go home and they're like my ego. I can't i apologize i'm gonna make it so that i mean tell people that they force me to if somebody in person was like apologize to me and i was like under pressure i might just be like sorry like i might do it i mean i'd probably say sorry before they demanded it yeah true we'd be apologizing the second if my germinated wheat wasn't as i wanted it and it was bad enough where i brought it in i would go in and first thing word out of my mouth would be

sorry sorry but i don't think this is up to no i don't know i don't know how i do it because i would never do that we'd never do it that's the thing not not because i'm that's just because i'm very anxious not because i shouldn't yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. We know our own flaws. Yeah, this is a me problem. Yeah, don't worry. We would never be in the scenario where we're forced to apologize because we've already apologized so many times. Yeah, and I don't judge anyone who wants to get their germinated wheat replaced.

I don't either, you know. Because I don't know enough about it. Okay, my next one is of a pub. The Original Oak. um okay my next one is of a pub uh the original oak this is in leeds united kingdom this is a one star review by harry styles that would be an expensive wedding harry styles wedding or have harry styles true. One star. Some old ass cow made me apologize and then ask for my drinks again with please at the end,

even though I could not hear her because of the noise in the pub. So I was forced to shout my order to her. Get rid of her. She's shite. End of review. Whoa. I was for, okay, clearly.

Like a child. I know. And this also clearly is not the parenting technique that works on this person because it's just making them angrier they didn't mean their apology it's like when you force siblings to say sorry and they're like sorry but they don't mean it i want my lager you please root You screwed up my germinated wheat. Yeah, well, you didn't get me the right lager. That's what happened in our household growing up. You did?

What? I don't know. I literally don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. Also, how do you know she forced you to apologize if you couldn't understand anything she was saying? Once again, the logic doesn't add up to me. There's never any logic.

This is me trying to be the attorney here. I'm like, I'm like. You're like defending the. Poking holes in his argument. Good. I'm glad someone's doing it. Someone has to. Someone has to.

All right. I've got only one more. Don't worry. We're almost done, everybody. This is a review of the Hollywoodllywood walk of fame it is a five-star review oh and it's titled where is jennifer lawrence star what the fuck okay did you know you have to pay for those yes somebody just taught me that was it you i've i'm sure i've told you i worked for someone who received a oh yeah star do you know how much it is i forget guess oh god i don't know hundreds of

dollars a month it's i don't know 50 000 total 50 000 total like a one-time thing that's what i heard i thought it was a month like i think you have to pay for upkeep oh that's funny that's why some stars are like not doing well kept up it's because they're the people mostly have passed and their estate isn't paying for it anymore wow yeah anyway that's cool great yeah oh yeah fee of 55,000 you were right okay as well as a general general oh okay maybe that's just flat fee now i don't know i thought i heard that there was a monthly thing i do remember when i went and kept vandalizing the Donald Trump star, and they were like, stop, it's so expensive. Oh, boy.

Okay, so my... Here's... Where's Jennifer Lawrence star? Five-star review of the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The actress... This was in 2019. Okay. The actress is the biggest of nowadays, but she did not get her own yet.

The walk of fame itself is cool. And actually, even living in LA, I always get my attention fully drawn by the stars on the floor. I do not know why. Maybe because I am a person who likes to have full control over situations. So I want to know everything that is happening there. I mean, all names I am passing by. That area of Hollywood is amazing during Friday and or Saturday late night due to the nightclubs. No, it's not.

It's awful. It's literally that exact reason is why it's horrible. I worked in Hollywood and it was terrible. It's so much fun because you're just staring at the ground, the dirty, dirty ground, and everyone's coming out of nightclubs. It's my favorite place to be. I mean, okay. The sidewalks turn into a place full of interesting and varied people,

different from the tourist types during daytime. But there are still some unrespectful ones. Once, a guy tried to beat me up with a knuckle brass because I crossed to the other side of the sidewalk, passing in front of his girl. So he made me apologize. Twice. End of review. Weaving his brass knuckles around his knuckle brass no alexander that was the weirdest thing i've ever heard i'm

sorry it was so never in a million years would i've found this review for anything for any reason unless we did a review about knuckle brass. Which, I mean, spoiler alert. Wow. It started with Jennifer Lawrence, the biggest star of today, as we all know. Do you think he's, I mean, he must have looked at every star trying to find her. Because he's like, where is it like he's clearly looked for it yeah i don't know he likes to be in control and that's why there are maps for that though well i think i think maybe it's a lost cause because uh he has his own method of

looking at the ground while he walks which also very dangerous no wonder he got hit with a brass knuckle you're wandering around ho around Hollywood looking at the ground, you're going to run into like Elmo, like fake Elmo. Fucking A. No, thank you. Knock off Elmo. You're going to run into, you might run into Jennifer Lawrence. I mean, I don't know. You might.

You might. Keep your eyes up, buddy. But you might. Yeah, it was fun, though, for a little bit working in Hollywood. Because I'd go for walks during my lunch break and everything and just explore different parts and sometimes i'd be oh surprised oh look who's here kermit the frog certain star exactly wait like on the star not like in person not in person i see i don't think i ever saw a famous person look kermit the frog he's just walking down the road yeah no like i work next to a jack-in-the-box and like my first day there was a stabbing there i mean

it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't great the guy just said i was just looking for jennifer lawrence's star um so yeah anyway wow that's a great great anecdote from the one and only sandy schieffer i barely had any coffee so i don't know what i just said you said somebody got stabbed at the jack-in-the-box oh that's true my first day they i went i went i walked to starbucks yeah which was like a block away and while i was in there i got a text from my um co-worker saying don't come back to the office oh my god the police are next door We don't know what happened yet. Yeah. You're like, great. Take my latte and go home.

My chestnut praline latte. No, no. My car was there, so I had to sit and wait. And then eventually they gave me the go-ahead to come back. Well, that does suck. No, wait. Maybe the stabbing wasn't while I was there. Maybe that was like an active shooter there. Either way.

You know what? It's the LA lifestyle. You never know what's happening next door. Life in Hollywood. Life in Hollywood. I mean, you know what it was the la lifestyle you never know what's happening next door life in hollywood um i mean you know what at least there are people like this who seem to enjoy it enjoy the chaos yeah i like how he's like i literally got almost attacked and yet i love it here it's my favorite place okay you know at least they know what it's about and they're still loving it. Respect. Respect. Well, thank you everybody for listening to our podcast. Do we have anything to say before? Do we give our next theme and challenge or what's up?

We don't know the next theme yet. Right. Because the poll, go to patreon.com slash beach with Sandy. Although it's probably already happened by now. If you want to do the next one. Do the next one. Get in there. Get in there um but i guess i can give you your challenge okay great oh this is gonna be our 200th episode oh so we still don't know what we're doing we had some people email us that we're recording the day our episode came out 198 yeah 198 so uh hopefully

by this by the time you're hearing this, we have a plan. Shrug. We definitely do. Okay. Definitely shrug. Wink. I can give you your challenge for the week after. Oh, good.

Yes. For 201. Maybe that way we can. Be prepared. Yes. Maybe that way people can send them in. I don't know. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. If we haven't done it yet. We probably haven't. Yes. Maybe that way people can send them in. I don't know. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. If we haven't done it yet, we probably haven't. Okay. So Jill commented this on the patron Patreon post, the poll. Okay.

It's amazing. It also had 21 likes, which is more than most comments get even ones for themes. Jill said, I'd love to see a challenge where people review a business's commercial jingles rather than the business itself. Genius. Right?

Still. And then Alan underneath says, if they do this, my tip is that Salino and Barnes, C-E-L-L-I-N-O, will be a goldmine. So maybe remember that. That's a lawyer, isn't it? I feel like I know about that. Yep, it is. It is. American personal injury law firm.

Snappy tomato pizza. there's so many good ones uh and then gregory says the cars for kids ads are the bane of my existence those are rough there's jg wentworth there's so many oh my god this is gonna be a really pain in the ass for people who get annoyed with singing with things getting stuck in their head. Yeah, because I expect you to sing every single thing. Whether you expect it or not, I think we all know it's going to happen. So be forewarned. Anyway.

All right. That's about it. Thanks, everyone. Bye.