Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 20: Nostalgia in Los Angeles, CA

Episode Date: April 11, 2019

Episode 20 is the extravaganza you didn't know you needed! To mark the special occasion, we surprise each other with reviews of places that are close to our hearts. Hop in Guy Fieri's convertible and take this trip down memory lane with us! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, typos and Mark Snow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, everybody. Hi, everybody. hello everybody hi everybody and i'm sorry also about everything oh my god i did a bad bad thing the worst thing you could possibly do as a podcaster i lost the episode number 20 the entire episode it's gone i don't know how audacity crashed no excuse because i should have saved it first but whoops but this has been a blessing in disguise so you're welcome is what i should be

saying because welcome welcome to our episode 20 extravaganza we are going off the rails here like like usual but this time it's a planned right we were sure we did record episode 20 um which was pittsburgh schools in pittsburgh and then and i forgot it was episode 20 in the episode you had told me you're like oh welcome to episode 20 i'm like oh crap we didn't do anything special and so we were kind of like well at least this gives us a chance to do an important episode 20. However, we will, I think we will revisit the schools once we've forgotten. Successfully forgotten, yes. Forgotten what we talked about.

So I'm sorry about that, guys, but we do have like a chock-a-block full episode for you. I'm so excited. So we started brainstorming what to do instead. So, we started brainstorming what to do instead, and we decided that we would each pick reviews of places that are special or important to the other person. This was so fun. Without telling them the places, telling them reviews, nothing. A place that's meaningful to the other person. Yes, or to both of them.

Yeah, yeah. Both of us, I guess. The third person. So, yeah, I think I'm really amped about this. Me too. This is going to be a lot of fun. This is so cool. And you're probably going to find out way too much about us.

Absolutely, it's going to happen. So, sorry about that, too. Welcome to episode 20. We really did the polar opposite of what we originally did, which was nothing, and now we're trying to do everything. Yes. Let's do it. Let's do it.

So, I'll go first. Because I think I went a little to do everything. Yes. Let's do it. Let's do it. So I'll go first. Because I think I went a little crazy with this. Yeah. I was like, how many reviews do you have? I was scared to answer. A lot. I said, oh, let me find some more then. Cool.

The notes are called 20 take two. It was like, there already is a 20. Oh my God. Yeah. I had to add extravaganza to it. To make it seem special yeah okay so the first review i have is a location it is a location that you do not like and i'm sorry about that but it is your uh freshman year dorm at gw literally the worst experience of my life i know

i'm sorry oh my god thurston thurston? Thurston Hall. How do you remember that? I just looked at a list of GW dorms and went, yep, I remember that one. Yep. I just remembered going there one time and thinking, I know dorms are bad, but like, this is next level bad. It was notorious. Yeah, actually, I was reading the reviews and people were like, well, this is just known as being the most heinous and i was with the engineers so i thought oh smart people we're gonna be quiet we're gonna no it was a party fucking floor party fucking floor party dorm beds inside a room that was not meant and no one wanted to bunk it was awful it was so tiny it's a size it was literally the size of this room we're recording absolutely a fire

hazard you had to climb over other people's beds to get to your bed i was like this is dangerous It was so tiny. It was literally the size of this room we're recording in. It's absolutely a fire hazard. But we all lived in here. You had to climb over other people's beds to get to your bed. I was like, this is dangerous. No, it was a total mess. And yeah, and the engineers, so the emergency system for when someone drinks too much and needs to get picked up by and get medical assistance was called eMERGE. So we were known as the Emergineers.

Oh my God. And what people might not know about 17-year-old freshman in college me was I was 100% straight edge. Like teetotaler. Yeah. Galore. Extravaganza. I did not fit in well. Yeah.

Anyway. Anyway. Let's hear about it. David L. So I did a little range. I got, first of well. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. Let's hear about it. David L. So I did a little range. I got, first of all, a shitty review. David L. says, two stars. I come into a smelly room and walked.

Also, I'm sorry, this might bring back some bad memories. This is awful. I'm already shaking. I know. I come into a smelly room and walk to the shower. I see black and brown muck in the shower and try to wash it out but the drain is clogged after turning on the sink and investigating this a little further i found dirty water came up through the bathtub drain whenever the sink was on is that not normal in a dorm grossest experience ever however it does get two stars for its great

vending machines end of review so i i actually don't remember the vending machines i stayed as far away as a lot of people talked about the 7-eleven i've spent the night in the library because i didn't want to be there yeah that's how far oh no the 7-eleven that was my third door at gw maybe that's what i was thinking yeah that was special because i could just go down i didn't have to leave the building. I did that for like two weeks once. Oh, I know. I remember. Doritos, Mountain Dew.

Oh, man. For breakfast. Good times. Tea total in all the ways. Literally the worst times. Okay, next. It's called iced tea total. Nope.

Okay. Nope. Nice try. No, bad try. Maria is middle of the range. Three stars. Just lower your expectations and you won't have any unpleasant surprises. End of review.

You know, that's kind of fair. I'm sure most of my roommates would say, oh yeah, you know, just you should have lowered your expectations. I guess so. And then Leah has a five star review. Oh, duh. Fucking Leah. The dorms, otherwise known as residence halls. Thank you for that.

I hate this person. I'm sorry. Five stars for this place. Are amazing. Each room comes equipped with a complete bathroom, shower, sink, and toilet. Okay. That's true. Those are all elements of a bathroom.

As well as a fridge, microwave, and spacious drawers. What? As a sophomore and beyond, each room will also contain a stove, oven, and sometimes even dishwasher machines. It is sick. End of review. This is totally a plant. That was the most planted freaking review. An RA who just is sad that everyone hates their dorm. Yeah.

Anyway, so that was kind of a little range. I started with that just because I was like, this is going to be a little dark. If you ended with that, I'd be so mad. I didn't. Cool. So that's my first one. Thank you. Thank you. Well, I actually, then I'll do one of your favorite places. Okay.

This is Cask and Flagon in Boston. Oh, no! Why would you do this? Did Blaze tell you to do this? Yeah, Blaze was like, this will have some interesting stuff. It was called, we called it glass and oh shit it's something stupid about glass because you every time you went you ended up with glass like oh my god there was a review and i actually lost it one of mine but yeah literally someone was like oh there's glass all over the floor you like end up cutting the shit out of your feet

because there's so many smash bottles i mean do you know what happened to me there what happened it was right across where from where I lived in Boston. And the first night I moved to Boston, Blaze and I went and met his friends, Ryan and Emma, for a beer. And we were there. And this man, this young man, well, okay, I'm going to say the F word, everybody. But this is what this guy said to me. Fast forward it, if there are children.

He goes, he taps me on the shoulder. I'm talking to three other people. And he goes, you're going to get **** tonight. And I went. gonna get tonight and i went oh my god i'm sorry what that was there and i was like i must be mishearing this and then he goes i said you're gonna get tonight and blaze's friend is like six foot three and so he was like hold on and like went and fucking chased this guy down and then this older man was like here just stand over here and i was like thank you so much like sorry i don't know what's going on did he say the same thing to you no the man turns to me he goes has anyone ever told you you have an obnoxiously high voice what and i was like i can't i don't like this it was rough dude that place was anyway but yeah i actually didn't

think it was your favorite place but when i when i. When I said that, or when Blaze sent it to me, he was like, this place will get a reaction out of her. There's definitely some memories. No, I read people talking about Roofies. They were like, Roofies flying all over the place. We think the bartenders are involved. God, that didn't happen. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Renee and I went there. The Roofies were pretty awful. Yeah, that place is rough. Yeah. But it was like right where i lived so we just walked there one time someone followed me home that was scary but that he was so drunk he picked me up and tried to carry me across the street and i was like yeah kicking him in the groin and he just like was it he was so drunk he wasn't flinching and i called the police and they came and um he they were like where are you where are you and he's like i'm in manhattan and they came and um he they were like where are you where are you and he's like i'm in manhattan and they were like okay so they took him in okay well anyway it was a rough

place sorry that's i don't think we need to read my review it's a lot less interesting than all of this oh god i'm not even joking okay this is a review from joe absolute joke do not get the ribs unless you like sucking on a bone covered in gristle when i complained i got a shoulder shrug they're next to fenway so they could care less please don't waste your money typical elitist boston bullshit end of review that's for sure an anti-red socks the reason i chose that and it caught my eye was because all of the other reviews were far from calling this place elitist elitist is like literally the opposite of this place you're totally right and joe comes in and was like oh my god these elitist boston people and i have not spent much time in boston but from the stories

i i can't say it's an elitist kind of place they pride themselves on not being elitist in so many certain ways exactly yeah yeah it's rough dude i don't know what they're talking about but yeah that's what they're probably a yankees fan your favorite place that's probably it i was gonna i thought you were gonna say you caught you caught onto that review because their profile photo was like a Yankees symbol or something. No, it's a weird skull. Oh, well, there you go. So elitist, though.

But they are from Cumberland, Rhode Island. Okay. I don't know what that means for what kind of fandom. I feel like Rhode Island would be more fucking elitist then. See, I don't know. I feel like Rhode Island is pretty rural and nothing going on actually that's true i don't really know anything about rhode island i've driven through it anyway took a nice 10 minute drive can you what are you doing over i don't know i'm trying to

find my wine break for driving me to drink oh this is awful i hate this noise you were eating chips earlier yeah not not while recording is it my turn now yeah go for it okay so the next place is a little less traumatizing and now i picked this place because i was trying to think of places we would go in cincinnati when we were younger to like eat and i remembered a lovely meal you would order called the businessman's breakfast when you were like seven years old yeah every time we'd go with that alex you would order called the businessman's breakfast when you were like seven years old. Oh, yeah. Every time we'd go, that Alexander would order the businessman's breakfast. And in hindsight, it's disgusting. It's horrifying.

The fact that I ate all that food. I tried. I mean, I tried to eat. Yeah, I ordered it last time. He had some IBS issues. Let's just say that. Yeah, but I ordered it. But I could down it. No problem.

And now I try. And I can't do it. I can't even eat at all it's a lot um it's a hit though still to this day yeah oh good i will say i didn't hear any bad reviews about it so i'm just gonna go to about the restaurant in general um rachel had one star i will only have one review of the echo my boyfriend and i stopped in for brunch and had a terrible experience. Firstly, we received our food, pancakes and French toast, and it seriously tasted like chemicals. Now, I am not one to complain. Oh, fuck off.

But I physically couldn't get myself to eat it. It was that bad. get myself to eat it. It was that bad. After I told the waitress, two of the managers slash owners came over to the table to tell me, the customer, that the food tasted fine. I guess I will go back to just eating Pillsbury cinnamon rolls from now on. Is that a joke? I don't get it. I think they're serious. I think they're serious too. I guess I will go back to just eating Pillsbury cinnamon rolls from now on. Wow. What a mistake. Someone could have thrown the food on the floor, stomped on it, and it would have tasted better. And to top it all off, I have never seen so many women with neck tattoos in my life. Oh my, what? End of review. Are those customers?

Are those employees? I have no clue. It's in Hyde Park, which you would imagine. The location, that makes sense. That's the kind of person that we expect to see. Oh, the person, not the neck tattoos, though. Exactly. There are a lot more neck tattoos out there, Rachel. I'm sorry to say.

If the most you've seen is in Hyde Park, you're going to have a rough time going anywhere outside of Cincinnati. Seriously? Yeah. God. I guess it's specifically on women, neck tattoos. Yeah. Men, no problem. Just those women. So that was my review of the Echo in Cincinnati. It is a good breakfast though. Oh, I love it. I just went there over, when was that? Was that Thanksgiving or winter break? Well, I went recently. Christmas.

Well, I went recently. Christmas. Yeah, sometime. Next, I have a review of Nickelodeon. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Where you famously worked. I did.

And this is from Glassdoor. Oh, I'm so excited. Is it mine? No. Did you actually write one? No, I didn't. This is a former employee. The title of the review is house of cards or kids what

that's house of cards dot dot dot or kids house of kids yeah how are they correcting them oh god okay I worked at Nickelodeon full-time more than eight years pros um entertaining kids is fun cons um can you spell e-v-i-l advice to management get out before you're eaten alive end of review is that a line from a kids show can you spell evil dora i mean maybe i don't know. It sounds like something Plankton would like. Like something about, a song about spilling evil. F is for friend. E is for evil. Yeah, what is it? In his version, F is for fire that burns down the whole town.

U is for uranium bombs. N is for no survivors. Yeah. Anyway. Cool. That's weird. Very weird. Are they okay? Is it? It's a former a former employee so for eight years they worked there that's what they have more than eight years and that's all they had to say

constructive review yeah they went on there to give it two stars though not just one like normally the the the non-constructive ones are like all the way extreme just one and they're like wish i could give it zero and then just give a bunch of bullshit yeah this one they give it at least gave it two right but their pros were um entertaining kids is fun and that's it it doesn't sound like they're a professional yeah and then the house of cards reference i don't understand weird i don't understand that. House of Kids. Sounds creepy. Yeah. Can you spell Evie? Oh, God. No comment. There was a lot of sifting through those, though.

Glassdoor reviews, they're surprisingly, like, they're so long. They're so long. And they're really constructive at times. I'm like, whoa, give me the lame stuff. I don't want constructive criticism. Yeah, we're not here for that. We're not here for smart, educated... All of the above.

Compassionate people? Yeah, no, we don't like those people. We don't want that. Okay, so the next place I have is a little place called Freeze Cafe. Oh, my God. Where Zandy used to host trivia nights. Oh, my God. Back in Cincinnati.

God, I also just went there. Yeah, we were there and we went on Christmas Eve. Yeah, we went there. Yeah, that's true. Freeze Cafe is one of my favorite places in Cincinnati. One of the reviews was like full of local alcoholics on any given day. And I'm like, yeah, we were there Christmas Eve.

Yeah, I'd host trivia there. And then people would like, I had my regulars and they would get really drunk and then they'd be it was they're like oh like you want to smoke with us back here and they'd like smoke pot in the back and it's just like it's a very local very local establishment like kind of fun environment and yeah right by uc but right but i did it over the summer so it was just like local people and mostly not students oh that was fun well allison didn't like it very much and oh not your allison though even though we did take her there she loved it yeah we had a blast this is a one star review by a different allison i asked if there was popcorn on Sundays. There's always popcorn on Sundays.

Then why'd you ask? Why wouldn't there be popcorn on Sundays? The guy said he could make some. He never did. Don't go here. There's no... What? What?

There's no popcorn, just liars oh my god one more line they don't make popcorn on sundays here oh my god now i checked this person's profile this is one of the craziest people to be like and the rest of the reviews are like pretty standard like there's this is like an inside joke that was insane that was far beyond so they were saying like there's always popcorn on sundays but i think they meant like at any given bar not just like at freeze yeah yeah because i personally i don't know if that's not like a thing right there well maybe i don't know i don't go there i didn't the guy said he would make some he never did i'm pretty sure wait i hosted trivia on sunday nights yeah you did well i don't go there. The guy said he would make some. He never did. I'm pretty sure. Wait, I hosted trivia on Sunday nights. Yeah, you did. Well, I don't remember there being popcorn.

Obviously not because there's no popcorn on Sundays. The fuck? Alexander, if you just listen to Allison. Anyway, I just thought that was like truly an insane person. I should have read that before getting that gig. So I would have known. You would have known. They're just no popcorn, just liars.

Goddamn. Okay. So that's all I have for Freeze. Oh, I miss you, Freeze. Okay, I've got, um, I've got something that's a little special for both of us. Okay. This is a review of one of our favorite haunts growing up. What?

The Beach Water Park. What's that? The Beach Water Park? Oh, the Beach Water Park, beach water park sorry what do you think i said i'm like wait oh no that she not remember i said beach water park like no water park no no no the beach the beach you guys the beach was a place across from king's island it was a water park it still is it's reopened it did it closed it would close like every two years for two years for two years at least and we'd beg our parents to go and now i'm like no oh yeah oh i've read some reviews yep bad idea i mean okay i would go back just for the nostalgia but i would not touch the water though yeah i feel like that's true of many water parks i don't think i'd ever touch water i did the cliff though there's a ride called the cliff you did it i did it i'm proud of you

because julia murray convinced me to she bullied me into it of course and then i got all the way up there and i was like too late actually thinking about it i'm really sweating it's like this massive slide literally right by the highway so you look off the top and there's just like the fucking freeway practically straight and it's like a free fall drop in your bathing suit. It's very terrible. Yeah. Anyway. That's how Liz and Kirsten got me to go on.

My first roller coaster was a flight of fear at Kings Island. It's like completely dark in there. You were like going to this dark. Oh, yeah, yeah. Lightless tunnel. You're like stuck. And it zooms so fast. But you the exit is in another like room.

So you can't exit right there. So I got pushed into this. And I told the guy, I was like, I want to go. I want to get out. And he was like, you can't. And then it just zoomed off. And I had a blast. It was fun.

I did it multiple times since. But anyway. Wow. Beach water park, though. Beach water park. We had some fun summers there. Oh, yeah. I was shocked we don't have more diseases. water park we had a grant we had like some fun summers there oh yeah oh yeah no i i i talked

we don't have more diseases but i love that they always close they might be dormant i do oh no i do love that they always closed for like maintenance and i'm like yeah i don't love that you're doing maintenance there was a time when like they i don't know if they just like i don't know if they like ran out of money or what but if they needed to be bought out but they were closed for forever they went bankrupt i think yeah yeah okay well here's a review this is from 2014 i don't know the timeline of when they closed but here we go okay this is from sarah it's one star had a great time the first time we went so we decided to come back and buy season passes we were there for about an hour when the manager an older woman with a attitude, came up to my boyfriend when we had just sat down at the bar for a drink. She said she was, quote, asking him nicely.

But if that was her nice voice, then I would hate to see her on a bad day. Anyways, he was asked to cover up or leave because he was wearing Euro shorts. was asked to cover up or leave because he was wearing euro shorts tighter and shorter yeah tighter and shorter than trunks but more coverage than a speedo first point as an iraq and afghanistan infantry combat veteran in the marine corps he did not have an offensive body second point wait wait because he was like jacked He didn't have an offensive body? Exactly. Sure, okay. Exactly.

But in good old Ohio... Everybody's a Euro shorts body, okay? I'm just gonna say it. Yes, you should say that. But in good old Ohio, you don't want any temptation like that walking around your water parks. You don't want it. Second point. His Speedo covered all necessary things that needed to be covered in a family establishment.

Point three. There were plenty more people wearing way more offensive attire than a Speedo, such as women in tiny bikinis hardly covering their butts. At one point in our visit, I saw a woman whose areola was partially exposed. Oh my god. Could you imagine, like, seeing that and being like, writing about that later? I'm gonna write about it on Yelp. This person's taking notes on a notepad. My main point is that this establishment is extremely sexist and obviously does not value their male customers.

Oh god. Too bad we bought season passes. And then they included a picture of a man in euro shorts the husband no it's like a stock photo kind of like a something from some i was very excited site yeah so it's just like those short trunks or is it like spandexy they're like pretty tight yeah but they're like yeah so they're not like i have short no they're like tight up again like they're tight tight yeah but um but they're not like, I have short, no, they're like tight, up again, like they're tight, tight. Yeah.

But they're not like cut in a Speedo, even though they called it a Speedo multiple times. Yeah, I don't get this review at all. No. I mean, at least they didn't have an offensive body. That's the most ridiculous thing. He didn't have any areolas showing. Actually, he probably did. He absolutely did.

I like how she's like, this lady showed an areola, but this is a very sexist establishment it's like what are you talking about none of this makes sense it made no sense but that's the beach water park and it's uh it's customers for i was hoping you'd find one that was like the beach is too sandy um there were reviews about the quote sand there yeah they have like this sand they're like it's basically just like dirt and like it's like oh no they said they call it they said it was like cigarette ash oh you guys ohio water park suburban ohio water parks good times very questionable i mean we had a blast but renata what were you thinking okay so i'm gonna go on that same theme as you just now oh i found uh another establishment that means a lot to us oh it is the skyline allegoy amusement park in bavaria god damn i was

literally just thinking about that as i was giving that review oh my god there's this janky ass theme park quote unquote it was janky ali and i just went it was freaking massive you went back modern well back when we went it was janky as hell it was awful like it was fun but in hindsight it was so dangerous and our mom would just drop us there off there and like hang out with her mom because that's where our grandma lives like 15 minutes away alexander and i just wandered around this amusement park uh there was literally a time where this russian dude was right manning the roller coaster there were no kidnapping no staff members anywhere this guy was just running the thing and he wouldn't let us off the fucking roller coaster like he wouldn't he would not lift the bar and there was a certain point where i went

this is not like something's not safe here Was it when he asked where our mom was? Oh, yeah. It was that. And then he said, where are you staying? How far is it? What street is it on? And I was like, this is not good. Yeah, where's your mom?

And I remember being like, oh, she's really close. She's getting sodas. And then he kept us on the ride. And every time he'd be like, oh, yeah, your mom's not back yet. Good times. Anyway, so that being said, there are a lot of terrible i mean are they in german are they in english they're all in german almost all in german translate for us i did translate um i only have one so because a lot of them were just very upsetting and like my child

got injured badly oh my god there was a ride where you like you get in this boat no one no staff there's no staff there's a whole part of the park where you do it yourself they're like good luck and you go into this weird boat thing and you push a button and it like launches you into the water and i watch kids do it and they'd hit and they'd like shake because they're like it would like their bodies would just crumple yeah yeah and it was like i remember going it would just like like no one's there to be like oh put this strap put the seat belt on like there's oh no one's there to be like oh that eight month old can't go on the ride like there's nobody there wow oh lord anyway so this is the review this is by lucas one star translated overpriced amusement park carelessly designed and unfriendly staff.

Whoever rated this amusement park as good has the judgment of a child who does not understand why you shouldn't eat boogers. End of review. There was actually a review that was like a young man tried to ask my child where he lived and tried to take him home like oh no he's like we called the police and there's all sorts of poor judgment at this place it's a very questionable yeah realm we had fun though we did have a blast yeah we had a great time we had a lot of fun just like we did at the beach water park true true okay next i have an establishment that um we actually have never been to but it was a very important part of our childhood okay very important part um it's the richie's on wolper

god that's such a good one so growing up we take the bus to school yes and we lived on wolper so we would walk down to the bottom, Wolper and Vine, and sit outside of Richie's and, like, right underneath the big Richie sign and wait for the bus every single day. We've driven by it millions of times. We know they serve fried okra, but we have never been.

Fried catfish, fried okra. What more could you ask for, honestly? Looked at it from afar. I have a few one-star reviews okay this is from abby never had their food but might have tried it if they wouldn't refuse me to use their restroom shaking my damn head and i'm pregnant and a review what you can't do that well they just did fuck you can't do that yeah review it's something that they never ate before this is a proud clifton establishment god damn it i give it five stars i never ate it either but i'm gonna give it five i'm gonna give it five

stars too here's a second one from James. Two stars. I don't eat riches. Coworker did. End of review. What? Riches. R-I-C-H-E-S. They didn't even spell it right.

That breaks my freaking heart. Yeah. They didn't even eat it. That breaks my freaking heart, man. We've got one more here from Folly. One star. The food here is possessed and review what is happening it was like you know how you had the bermuda triangle of like that's kind of how i felt going through here right bermuda triangle of coffee shops it was insane

reading these reviews i was like what the hell is going on who are these people that don't eat it there's so many people that are like i've never eaten here one person reviewed the another location there and said oh well my experience at this other location was bad one star what it was bizarre they didn't let me use their bathroom one star i shaking my damn head smdh is what they definitely just wanders around Cincinnati and tries to use bathrooms. And then it's like one star, one star.

Uh, cool. My coworker ate at two stars. That one was like the most bizarre. Actually, I think the most bizarre was their food is possessed. Arguably. Arguably.

Okay. I kind of forgot about that one. Cause that one was just so, that's the most bizarre. I kind of forgot about that one. Because that one was just so out there. Okay, next time we go home, we're going to eat there. We have to actually eat there. We never have. I don't know why. I mean, it's...

We've been waiting for the moment to do it on a YouTube channel. Oh, you're right. Maybe it's the time. I'll walk in and be like, I'm pregnant. Can I use your bathroom and see what happens? The big test. The big test. Oh, my God. And then we'll do a ouija board test on the food just in case oh my god that's actually a great idea yeah right sorry i'm gonna pour this

oh sorry i had to pee i'm pregnant we'll get we'll get some we'll get some tilapia and like oh yeah smack it on the board like see what the demons have to tell us on the board oh god catfish tilapia um okra what more can you ask for it's basically like soul food yeah yeah um oh soulless food oh it's possessed oh okay anyway satanic food what what else you got for me okay so i have one more for you weirdly enough it's a restaurant so i feel like we're going hand in hand here how many do you have left i have two i the last one's kind of a bonus thing so why don't you give me yours i'll give mine and then i'll give my little bonus so i went way out of out of the that

we're off the rails and you're going off the rails even further maybe i'm going back on the rails oh man that's how that's how that's crazy yeah so this is um a place that we visited during a uh a road trip one time it is a steakhouse in oklahoma city oklahoma oh my god you found the steak yeah with the. With the Minnie Mouse pajamas. We talked about this in an episode. I think we did. We went to a steakhouse one time that was on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Or as every reviewer called it, Triple D.

Which just makes me want to punch somebody. Oh my God. A lot of them were like. Makes me want to punch the air like in Triumph. Oh God. Yeah, Triple D. In Guy Fieri's Convertible. Yeah. So a lot of people said i'm a big triple d fan oh yeah me too hell is triple d and then i immediately realized um but yeah so we found this on a website called tv food maps and we were like oh cool a good steakhouse on the road

on our trip to california or on the trip back from cal. And I literally changed in the car because I was like, I can't wear leggings into a steakhouse. Like I said, it was a $3 sign, nice steakhouse. And I changed and everything. We walk in and there's a whole family in matching Minnie Mouse pajamas. And I was like, well, I'm overdressed. And then we sat down and they're like, let me bring you the rolls. And they brought us a bowl of saltine crackers. That's something, though, I think when we talked about this last, people reached out.

Really? Yeah, because we talked about this in an episode. I think someone was like, that I can't explain. They were trying to talk about other stuff, the casual stuff. And that is something that I will never... Baffling. I don't think I'll ever figure that out. I get it if you're like, I, I will never like. Baffling. I don't think I'll ever feel like. I get if you're like, oh, let me bring some crackers.

And like, maybe it was just that woman. Like, had it like, she slipped up when she said that or something. She must have. Maybe she went to another. Like. But she said, would you like a basket of rolls? And we were like, yes, please. And then she brought saltines with butter.

Like, I don't understand. I don't know. It was very odd. And so we were like. Maybe it was a practical joke. Eating. Like, like that might be the one time she ever did that like as a joke it was and we're still talking about it because it's so baffling to us well it is look it is a little funny look the

joke's on us it is also they were wrapped saltines like i'm not saying like a basket of individual like free no no anyway anyway so i found so i read a lot of reviews of plays and everyone was like what the hell really is this yeah so people aren't thrilled about it um one person did write i love their roles and i was like i wish you would elaborate because i have a lot of questions where's the picture anyway sorry the steakhouse is called cattleman steakhouse in oklahoma city oklahoma is very famous because guy fury and and President Bush Sr. have both been there. And President Bush Sr. has been multiple times. And it's like his favorite steakhouse in Oklahoma City.

He passed away recently. Excuse me. He did. Okay. Right? Yeah. Okay, yeah. You're saying it present tense.

What did I say? It's one of his favorite. I'm sorry. It's his favorite. I'm sorry. Yeah, it was one of his favorite haunts in Oklahoma City. I shouldn't have said haunts. I didn't mean to.

I didn't mean to. It was an accident. It didn't even cross me. But I know everyone's going to tweet about it. Okay. That's hilarious. I'm so sorry. That was so funny.

Oh, come on. It's another podcast I listen to. It gets in my head. You're not trying to be disrespectful. I'm not. I'm really not. But so anyway, it's very, like, it has, like, legacy. Let's put it that way that's no and hey it was tasty however their food is extremely divisive

okay oh well first of all speaking of the richie's fiasco where people didn't eat the food here's a one-star review from cody when me and my fiance were here and the food smelled and looked good from what i saw but the looks we got and people everywhere judging us just wasn't worth our time so we left okay question well just for the universe do we think that they were in minnie mouse or did they change in their car that's a good point it could you're right like either they were like us walking in there trying to be nice, and everyone's like, what? These are out-of-towners.

Look at these city slickers. City slickers. Yeah. Not that Oklahoma City's not even a, like, that's a big, major city. Right. People drive there, like. I don't get it. I don't get it.

I don't either. But anyway, so, I just was, like, baffled by that. So, I went to his profile, and, like, nothing seemed particularly odd about him and his fiancee and i was like why explain yourself yeah but he did not that's the thing that bugs me like that review could go many ways like that could be like a serious thing where it's like oh my god we felt judged because of like like there could be race it could be race or anything outfits whatever it may be or we were a and they could be totally LGBT couple like I'm gonna give them

the bend for the doubt and say like okay there's probably something that they just were made uncomfortable by certain people which sucks for them and I feel bad for them

but like it's kind of weird when they like don't explain it and it goes back to like the restaurant sees that and goes well that means nothing to us yeah

it's like what could we have done differently whatever do our customers just suck? Although I wonder if they do see that and they're like, oh, we know Cody. Oh, that could be. I mean. What is going on?

Our extravaganza is getting out of hand. I'm just like kicking over. Jesus Christ. Empty Starbucks. Okay. It's almost over, guys. I will say I have a redemption and this is my last review okay this is a redemption of uh cattleman steakhouse because after so many one stars i just felt really

sad and uh that people were like you know 40 years ago this was like such a fine establishment it's gone downhill and made me depressed a little bit so here's a five-star review from less it's also i wrote abridged because wow it was very long so i just pick okay two parts the first thing you notice about cattlemen's is when you're walking through the parking lot the smell of animal dung fills the air it's the stockyards people cute little fluffy animals are being bought and sold here and okay sometimes they poop oh my god i hope they don't know why they're being sold although if i was being sold for slaughter i'd poop all over the place oh my god that's amazing less is like the uncle i want yes it's a great uncle who's like

okay come to thanks. You're entertaining. You go ahead, animals. You stink up the joint. Anyway, the restaurant is split up into two sides, the fancy dining room side and the diner side. Now, you can't go wrong with either side, but the diner side does have the bathrooms. So if you've got any of those illnesses or diseases that cause you to need a toilet, like IBS, Crohn's disease, diarrhea, or just plain old person colon, you might want to pick the diner side.

Or if you're getting slaughtered. Or if you're slaughtered chicken. You're going to poop everywhere. That's true. Yeah, the poop talk in this is extensive. He's got something on his mind. Right. So if you have any of those diseases that cause you to need a toilet, you might want

to pick the diner sign. Don't be a hero. I felt a little targeted by that whole line, but it's fine. I like how he specifically says Crohn's disease and then just diarrhea and old person colon. Bringing awareness to all sorts of issues. So he talks about that poop for two paragraphs and then he goes, anyway, on to the food. Oh my gosh. This person has way too much free time yeah i skip forward i skipped like appetizers and all that oh my god

so i'm on entrees here which is the most important part in my mind is he a cattleman's like historian probably actually he should be skip forward nope i wrote that skip forward nope i wrote that sorry the entrees i have no clue what all is even on this part of the menu because i only get one thing the presidential t-bone it gets that name because president bush would order it when he was in OKC. No, not that President Bush. The good one. Wait, there was a good one? Well, he's like talking to himself the whole time. Well, comparatively, I guess. The one that just lied about not raising taxes,

not the one who had a shoe thrown at him. Oh, right, the steak. So, this steak is probably the greatest thing I have ever eaten. It comes served in an au jus sauce that gives it so much flavor that requesting A1 sauce is met with a slap in the face. Okay, that doesn't really happen, but it should. The best way I can describe their meat imagine if you're eating succulent angel meat ew you know what i'm gonna go ahead and never imagine that that's disgusting

so disgusting and then he writes and then one conclusion here in conclusion if you're looking for a great place to eat and you don't mind paying a little more than you would at TGI Fridays, then this is the place for you. If you're just looking to spend money and you don't care about what you put down your gullet, well, I hear Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill has stuff that passes for food. Oh. End of review. Out of nowhere.

I went to check if he had a Toby Keith review and he did not. I was really excited about it. God damn. He's like the Monty of steak. Yes, you're right. God damn. Au jus, au jus, au jus. After this, I'm going to read that whole review, though, like for myself.

You should. It sounds amazing. I wanted to get to the steak part about President Bush. Yeah, no, I think we all appreciate that, but. But wow. That was definitely the abridged, so. Oh, wow. That was good.

I do have now a special one for you. A bonus? No, I have two special ones. Okay. So this is the first one that's just a review of a special place. The Tin Roof in Cincinnati, Ohio. Where you met your now husband. That's right! Blaze and I met there.

Was Blaze just like texting you about all the places he and I used to drink at? Oh yeah. No, I texted him and I was like, what should I review? And he was like, oh, I got you. We had beers in a lot of places. Here they are. Yeah, basically. This is where we met. Yeah, this is where we met. Uh-oh. This is a one-star review from J.E.

Uh-oh. If you're into getting dry humped on the way to the restroom, then this is the place for you. End of review. Oh, no! Where you and Blaze met. That's so romantic! That's how you and Blaze met. Yes, I was on the way to the bath- no, Blaze was on the way to the bathroom.

That's more like it. That's more like it. Oh my god. I can confirm, though, that, like, that is the like it oh my god i can confirm though that like that is the kind of bar that yeah yeah yeah it's a place that i don't really frequent anymore is that where we went and you i had like my first fireball shot there i think that's where it was yeah the banks good times i believe that was there good times okay. Okay. That was a good time. Now I have the final... Oh, man.

This is just incredible. The denouement. The denouement. Oh, you got me to say it in the 20th episode. Finally! This is an extravaganza. This is a review of the Pet Rush Inn in Burbank, California. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. This is Gio's daycare. It is. Guys, Gio loves it here. Yeah, this is a review from... Is it one star? It's a five star from Christine. Alexander! You cannot do this to me. You cannot do

this to me. Are you kidding me right now? I'm gonna die. I'm so embarrassed, Alexander! I know. Oh no! Oh no, I don't know. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I don't know what I wrote. My pup is extremely anxious and I've always had trouble bringing him to daycare. Not anymore.

No joke. He waits by the door every morning while I get ready for work and runs straight to the back when we get there. He loves all the employees. I've never seen him so friendly with people I don't know. I can't say enough about how kind and caring all the employees are and how much care they take of their pups. It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty when I have the day off and he doesn't get to go into daycare.

End of review. I'm sweating. Do you know why I wrote that? Why? Were they giving you a discount? No, no. Because they're so great. They're like truly i meant every word like it's all true but um i was on there one time like looking for information

about when they open or something and i saw this one star review that was like so nasty toward the employees and like i mean just like really assholey like the kind of shit we see every day on these reviews but like really really aggressive and i was like fuck that guy and i wrote a five star to be like no no no no no like you're completely wrong yeah um so that's why i wrote it no let's see and that's you have two two five star reviews that i found there's one of a tire place yeah those are the only two reviews so you're you're doing good work out there at least god yeah that's embarrassing oh i know i went on i went on yelp the other day i mean of course i did i went on yelp every day literally every day every day but

it was like you have 227 friends and i was like oh i saw that about myself oh i had like 98 i'm like what who are these people facebook friends it's like people who that you know and you were like fourth on the list that's how i found you oh no i tried searching for you and i couldn't but since we were yelp friends i like found you right there god we're Yelp I know I have 98 that I didn't even know I had I'm so pissed that we're Yelp friends and just like I had claimed I have zero reviews I was about to say honestly I should start writing reviews like five star ones for people at like companies I think deserve it well but nah I'll start someday um yeah well that's it that's why that was the end of it that made me really i thought that was a fun ending i'm embarrassed um that was a fun one

though i love that that's a good fun special yeah i'm glad i i can say it i'm gonna admit it i am glad you lost the audio hell yeah you guys i did it on purpose yeah because we have to do that it was very bad actually I spent about two and a half hours trying to find, like, temporary files and salvage audio. Oh, she was freaking. And Alice was like, that's okay. We'll figure it out. And we did. You were super chill. Yeah. Anyway. And we're going to release

episode 21, which will be elementary schools in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. So we will still release that. Right. We just have to record it again. And I truly don't even remember what my reviews

are, let alone what his are. I don't either. We'll see what happens. And who knows, I'll have some more time. I might find some different ones just in case.

Yeah, me too. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. We could literally just find new research. Yeah, we'll figure it out. We'll do that. Okay.

Okay. Well, thanks everyone for tuning in to our 20th episode extravaganza. We had fun. We hope you had fun. Do tuning in to our 20th episode extravaganza. We had fun. We hope you had fun. Do you want to tell them our Instagram or whatever? Go to beachshoesandy.com.

I don't care. Okay, cool. This is our special episode. We're cool dads. We put you through this nonsense. I'm not putting you through that nonsense. You're right. We are so thankful that you are here, hopefully still.

Thank you so much for listening, everyone. We appreciate all the support. 20 episodes and the support has been incredible. The response has been amazing and it's only getting better. Yeah, we're having a blast. Yeah, and we're going to have a lot more fun stuff for you soon. Thanks, everyone. Bye, guys.

Bye.