Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 201: Reviews of Children's Shows

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

WARNING: Episode contains spoilers for Caillou. Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments

that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's gotta be KD. When you gotta do you, it's gotta be KD. Shop now. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, welcome to Beach Juice Andy Water Tourette, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandy. I'm Xteen, and we're here today. It feels like we haven't recorded in a long time.

That's true. It does feel that way. Because I think we were on a roll of recording early. We're back to our 48 hours in advance ways. It's been busy. It's been busy. It's been busy, but we had a lot of birthdays to celebrate. We had a lot of sports games to watch. We had a lot of cake to eat. Very important things. So we're back.

We're back. To talk about children's shows. Children's TV shows. This is something. This is one that I'd like to repeat again. Okay, me too. In the future. Me too.

Just endless possibilities. Endless possibilities. I only looked at a handful of shows, but i got so many reviews so quickly i couldn't i had to stop i feel like we could do an entire podcast just on this i know we've said that before but like something goes wrong here we can just put on mustaches rebrand ourselves and start like a coco melon only i love it i love it um so i'll go first because i think i have more than you perfect oh by the way we're selling hoodies now on our website yeah by the way uh i don't even know where i saw that but oh i think someone someone tweeted about it i was like oh shit those are up hoodies cool

they look great i want one order one now before uh you you all get to it yeah bit.ly slash beach to sandy merch oh also I'm streaming again. Oh, yeah. Starting yesterday when this episode comes out. He turned 29 and he was like, you know what? New year, new me. Honestly, it was because I was visiting Dee for her birthday last week and we watched the streamer Valkyrae.

Do you know Valkyrae? No. Okay. Well, we watched her. She was doing a 48 hour stream the whole time i was like man i should get back to streaming anyway so i'm back great story though thank you i hope you tell it on your stream oh i will okay many times oh excellent so if you want to hear it again hop on okay so the first review i have is of uh the show coco melon that is funny that's

also the first review i have is of the show Coco Melon. Okay, well, lucky for me, Alexander said you can have Common Sense Media to yourself. I did only IMDb. Okay, I felt I felt very thankful for that. Because these were like the first two listed on the site. So Coco Melon, if you don't know, is a show for preschoolers. It is loved and hated by many people. And I'm not saying like you either love it or you hate it i'm saying many people both love and hate it because it's a very good distractor for children but it's also like wildly annoying if you have to hear it on loop um a lot of the songs are just very repetitive which is what kids like so it's sort of like oh i love it

because my kids are very easily distracted slash i can keep them quiet or you know entertained on a road trip but also oh my god my dreams have been infiltrated by this large-headed child i i everything i hear about this show makes me think it was just very scientifically engineered to be perfect for babies there's an article that i read that was about why it's so addictive to children and it's like the big eyes that the babies have uh is very appealing to kids the repetitive songs that are very simple that it is very like formulaic in that way got it um and so you know leona doesn't really watch tv yet but a couple times in emergencies in the car, we've had to distract her with YouTube. And this just does the trick.

In the future, whenever I'm babysitting, just hours, hours of Cocomelon. I'm telling you, it'll be a punishment for you, too. I feel like you don't realize that yet. I'll just take an edible, sit next to her. Oh, that actually might be. I'm going to be a great babysitter. You're going to be the best. Yes.

So here's a review of Cocomelon. eight babies you're gonna be the best yes uh so here's a review of coco melon um this is written by a teen age 14 who gives it one star and says the show should be for ages 15 and up okay so it's also written one week ago so this is like fresh hot off the press a 15 year old watching this show not like not if if you're watching the show and you're not a parent or a baby i'm i'm curious um blaze just texted me that he has to put leon in the playpen briefly while he brings the groceries in and she sometimes gets really mad in there oh i hear her yelling i think he didn't give her the cocoa melon she wants uncle zany to come down short watch some cocoa melon little ipad kid so if she if she yells, that's why.

Okay. So the title of this review is called Overstimulated and Not Helping Young Minds Grow at the Pace They Should Be. How old is this reviewer? 14. And also has a PhD in child development. Honestly, they probably know more than me, so I can't say anything. Terrible. Honestly, they probably know more than me, so I can't say anything.

Terrible. If you want to show your child something as problematic, oversimulated, and fast as this show, I highly recommend this show. Not. My little sister watches this, and from what I can see, it is just too much. It doesn't help gain the calm learning environment as it should, and it proceeds to fry young children's minds when they should be growing big and strong. The shows I grew up with in the mid-2000s are calm and meaningful, even the 90s ones that my parents used to watch. I learned the new things each new episode that would come out. I recommend Elmo, Caillou, Teletubbies, the original, Dragon Tales, Super Y, PBS Kids, Wonder Pets, and Dinosaur Trains, etc. for the toddlers. End of review. iu teletubbies the original dragon tales super y pbs kids wonder pets and dinosaur trains etc

for the toddlers end of review i love dinosaur train i hate i should have looked up reviews of that i didn't show annoyed the hell that show is so good talk about good songs this this kid is very early in the whole like this new generation of tv blah blah blah like on it so quickly before they're even like presumably in high school it's really alarming to say my even the old shows my parents watched in the 90s i'm like oh ow god granted i was uh that kind of kid about music and when i was probably 14 i know but you've the older music was better but imagine saying oh yeah kaiyu is better than coco melon i mean it's a little shit i i kaiyu's terrible i think coco melon is kaiyu's like nephew or something i think they're related okay they have both of the big heads yeah big heads kind of

shrieky voices does coco melon have i i know know is Cocomelon. Isn't that a thing? Cocomelon. Yeah. JJ is the main kid's name. Oh. I think he and Caillou are related. Really? Okay. I just feel like the shows that they watched in the mid-2000s were not calm and meaningful.

I'm sorry. You can't tell me that Caillou's and Teletubby's are calm and meaningful. It's always about, you know, looking at the grass is greener in the past. That is not a phrase. Well, I mean, if we're talking grass is greener, Teletubbies does win that bet. True. So I'm not going to argue on that one.

You know it was like fully filmed outside, legitimately. Like it was, and it was a full field. On what planet? With that freaking creepy sign? Someone owned the land and allowed it to be used for this show and it was all in like created this teletubbie world for this show and then um what i've read is that there were so many people trespassing to see it in person that he ended up flooding

the whole thing to ruin it no this is insanity yeah but apparently because there were so many people trespassing he flooded the whole thing so that there weren't wouldn't be people uh stopping by if i can't have a peaceful teletubbies land no one can also uh what was the food they ate the what was the teletubby food i don't know alexander i didn't watch that show okay well i Well, I'm old. Tubby Custard. Ew. I think Tubby Custard was, it was like mashed potatoes with food coloring. Gross. Gross. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing. Anyway. Thank you for sharing your fun insight. You're welcome. I love it. I've got so much to say about kids shows. Speaking of which, Cocoa Melon, one out of ten review okay this is this is rough here's a one-star review titled bad this show is bad in one scene they sing about washing their hair

and one of the kids did not even have hair and he was in that very scene it's really bad and one of the worst show i have ever watched and it is one of the worst things that you can place in a small child's mind. My advice? Just don't make them watch it. You should not watch it. I have one use for it. A torture device. End of review.

The number of times I saw people say this should be used in a torture chamber. I don't even have anything clever to say except for. This reviewer said all the clever stuff. I feel it. Took all the words out of my mouth. Took it all out of your mouth. I just like, oh, wow. I caught them in a lie.

The one kid doesn't have hair. Oh, my God. Who cares? Don't wash that kid's head. Doesn't have hair. What's the point? Keep it filthy. Keep it filthy.

Leave it to. Leave to fill crust over oh god that's a really horrible thing the baby's head to crust over what does that mean i don't know if you're not cleaning it okay never mind this is a review of cocoa melon uh by annabelle who is also 14 years old, but who thinks it should be for ages two and up. Okay. A little more reasonable. Little more reasonable. One star. Title is It's Bad.

Super bad. I recommend not to watch Coco Melon, and this is why. One, Coco Melon takes other song and changes the lyrics to something weird, and I've learned that they have done that to many songs. Two, they don't deserve to be on Netflix. Their songs are all very weird, and their names are terrible, such as JJ, Mimi, Jack Jack, and etc. I think that Cocomelon is a knockoff of ABC Kids TV. I think that ABC Kids TV was the best show when I was younger, and I think that they should have kept it as ABC Kids TV, not some weird Cocomelon.

I mean, what kind of a name even is Cocomelon? I hope that you agree with me. End of review. I do agree with that last bit. What kind of name is Cocomelon? I don't know. I think I Wikipedia'd it once. Oh, there's lore?

You Wikipedia'd the Cocomelon lore? I haven't delved into the wiki yet. I was on Wikipedia, but I haven't delved into the fan wiki. What is it called? Fan wiki? That's not right. It's not wiki how. It's not wiki waka.

Because nothing is wiki waka. Fandom.com. Fandom. Cocomelon.fandom.com. I haven't delved into that. I felt like I wasn't ready spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc. Yeah. Fair.

I do love that they said that they don't deserve to be on Netflix. As if Netflix is all just the top toppest of tears creme de la creme yeah only the best that's not really how it works not quite uh i will say too what is abc kids i don't know i don't know is that a show or a channel i have no idea i've never heard of that in my life i mean again this person is 14 so i don't really understand like what when they talk about when i was little it's really alarming that is alarming right um i looked up abc kids tv and i i genuinely i i don't know it oh it's a channel by the the people who make cocomelon so oh because yeah cocomelon was originally or is still on YouTube that was like how it started was a YouTube channel no I thought you weren't on the fandom page but yes

you're correct on that no I just subscribed to gmail updates about Cocomelon oh did you cool cool I subscribed to Yahoo updates so let me know if ours you know if you get anything I don't get we'll do I it's mainly because I want to be a voice actor on Coco Melon. Oh my gosh. Should we use this episode as your reel? Yes. Okay, great. It'll be you saying, what kind of name is Coco Melon? What kind of name is Coco Melon? That's pretty good.

That's so bad. I don't know what... Horrible. What do Coco Melon characters sound like? Like that? Do you know that there's... Blaze calls it like their... Do they even talk?

Blaze calls it like their... You know on a soundboard where you, so he calls it their soundboard where they just in the middle of songs will press certain buttons that you hear like over and over through the songs. There's Lil Jon going, yeah! I can't do a Lil Jon thing. Almost, because it sounds like this. Yay!

And they do it like through every song. It's the same exact like intonation and everything. And then there's one that's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like a little kid giggling. That one's creepy. They have a soundboard and they just press the same ones over and over to like sprinkle into the songs. Is there a Cocomelon live in concert? Not surprised if there is.

I would love to go. It's probably on ice. There's probably all of it. Okay. My next one is of Dora the explorer thank god something different so d when i brought up the theme said oh you should look up dora the explorer well it's her favorite show yeah yeah um i mean now now she didn't like it when she was little but yeah yeah yeah no she was too too yeah she wasn't she she didn't feel ready she didn't feel ready for Dora when she was younger. But, you know, now she's prepared to take on Swiper.

I was going to say, there's that fox and he presents a really startled. Is that a fox? Yeah, he presents a child. I'm not ready either. Okay. Clearly. Jeez. Okay.

Here's a one out of ten review titled, A Boring Baby's Show That I Hate With a Passion. Review titled, A Boring Baby's Show That I Hate With a Passion. Why the hell is this piece of dog poop so popular? Why? Why? Even my seven-year-old sister can come up with better ideas. This makes the new episodes of Spongebob look like a masterpiece. The writers of this show are probably as dumb as Dora.

Speaking of Dora, she's got to be one of my least favorite cartoon characters. No, scratch that. My least favorite character of all time. And Boots is no better either. I'd rather watch Blue's Clues, and I don't even like that show either. Oh, I forgot to mention that Dora and Boots sing pointless and dumb musical numbers every episode. If that isn't bad enough, they sing the exact same song every single episode. And don't even get me started on Swiper, who I wish would once swipe Dora's clothes. You know, what? Yeah, that got took a turn. Okay, I thought like, oh, I get what they're coming for. Oh, nevermind. I would like to separate myself from this person and their opinions. You know what? Now I am pretty convinced that this show's writers are dumber than dora

so bottom line dora is a dumb stupid show that i believe is making our generations kids dumber it's sad that kids have to grow up watching these animations instead of watching classics like tom and jerry looney tunesunes, etc. End of review. My God. Signed a 12-year-old who has no idea what they're talking about. They literally said my generation, so. My generation. Or our generation.

So maybe it is an older person, but like the thing that I don't understand is if you- They have a seven-year-old sister, so. Oh, true, true. No, I think it's a fairly, like I assume it's also like a 14-year-old or something. You watch his like um what's that channel uh turner classic movies yeah their kids are gonna just watch that um mom can i watch tv uh lassie's on again no they're gonna be like i want to watch anything but lassie you make me watch that every night um yeah i mean i don't want to even get into

it but like stop it with that tom and jerry it was violent and just as stupid as any of the shows today like there's not anything like erudite or smart about the show like a tom and jerry i'm sorry i hate all the reviews blaming certain media for like ruining a generation. It's so stupid. Ruining a generation. It's so stupid. You haven't even given them a chance. They're still like eight, right?

Like, or I guess not anymore. Yeah. That's sad for my own mind. Imagine if we were like completely shaped just by the TV shows we watched when we were younger. Oh, CatDog? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, Etta and Eddie really did a number on that. completely shaped just by the tv shows we watch when we were younger cat dog yeah exactly yeah well ed and eddie really did a number talk about stupid talk about stupid that's entertainment come on look that one up um okay so the next one i have is also this is my last i promise

last review of coco melon oh my god i only have two reviews left and you're still on Cocoa Melon. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is a one star review by a teenager and they also recommend it for two plus. The title is No Cocoa Yummy. Okay. My little sister is a big

fan and when I say big, I mean it. She is obsessed. One night she she woke up in the middle... Oh, no. One night, she woke up in the middle of the night, and she was saying, Coco, yummy. Oh, no. That's so cursed. One night, she woke up in the middle of the night, and she was saying, Coco, no. That's so cursed. One night she woke up in the middle of the night and she was saying, cocoa yummy.

That's, she says, cocoa melon. And then laughing. She did this for an hour before falling asleep. In fact, I'm forced to watch it right now. I'm so tired of watching it. And as soon as we finish, she has to watch more. Horrible show. And it is taking over my life.

End of review at least this person has a reason to be yeah very specific story i did read a lot of those people complaining about how these shows affected well in my case a lot of them were uh how these shows affected their children remember the one with the creepy nails boo-boo oh yeah booba i thought booba were those weird i who are the ones that are really puffy fluffy fellas that are scary and fly around oh i think those are the monkeys from wizard of oz yes that's what i'm thinking of exactly those did cause a lot of behavioral issues in our generation sounds about right no uh booba was the thing that had the claws claws that they had to change to be human nails and people were reviewing like my children

like i felt like it was in the middle of a war zone they were like my children they're throwing plates and screaming at the top of their lungs nothing can be done they want to be like booba i saw that about kaiju a lot a lot of people were saying that kaiju caused behavioral issues and you know what hey i wouldn't be surprised that little brat was mean that guy was mean to his family to his little sister pitching a little hissy fit yeah my god he was annoying but i saw someone who was saying that dora was the reason that her friend's kid was like going up to strangers and talking to them. Oh, no. Things like that.

And saying, can you say that? Yeah. But I'm no expert. So whatever. I don't know. The show Zoom was the reason that I one time went outside and picked up some trash on the video camera because I thought it would put me on TV. And then it didn't. So I never picked up trash again.

I was about to say, wow, what a great influence it had. It was a good influence for an afternoon. Okay. Yeah. You've never picked. Yeah, that's true. You've never picked up trash since then. That's why I drop it and walk away.

Because you think, say, oh, whoops, I can't because of Zoom. I'm sorry. Zoom affected my behavior in my childhood and it's been weird because now people think you mean the video oh right i mean that one doesn't help no true true i mean uh the trash piles like they just keep getting bigger and they're out of the frame yeah they are actually why would you pick them up they've started encroaching but i do feel like it's sort of sound like your computer your your camera's always pointing at the ceiling i was wondering why it's so high and sometimes it looks

like you're just standing over it you can see my hairline a little you have to like wade through something i can't see what it is you can also see the stink lines coming from behind oh no i know but i think it looks pretty cool it's like like I have a virtual background, you know? Yeah, true. Good point. Thank you. Thanks a lot, Zoom. My next one is of Caillou. Well, on that note, I didn't... You're getting your wine ready for this? Yeah, because I'm still recovering from Leona's birthday. And I will say, hosting that party...

It was incredible. Oh, really? Oh, my God. It was insane. Oh, I'm so happy you had fun. Except that time I had to leave halfway through because i your pants i spilled the the signature drink all over your couch oh and my pants i was i was i felt sad about your pants yeah he had to go home and change i i mean i felt bad i was so embarrassed and so i i don't get embarrassed usually it was

so weird poor d was i mean she was fine everything, but I was so embarrassed and so like unhappy with myself that I was like in such a weird mood going home. And I don't know. I don't usually get embarrassed, but I was like so embarrassed by that. I think it was because it was so many people. It was a shocking amount of people showed up for a first, a child's first birthday party. People of all stages of my life, from all stages of my life from all stages of my life from babyhood to today so i needed that to get out get out of there change into my lulus

you gotta sometimes yeah next time you know to bring him with you just as a backup yeah i that was i should have given well it doesn't matter i was gonna say i francisco gave me like oversized sweatpants the other day. I should have given you those Adidas ones. But anyway, point being, that party, it was a blast. But I didn't really have a chance to have any beverages. I had like one beer because I was like social butterflying around. True. You were flapping your wings. I was flapping around. I only poked a few people in the eye. And so that's maybe why you spilled your drink. I was coming through with my flappy arms anyway point being um i didn't really have much to drink and then blaze family was here so i was trying to be you know very uh with it with it and not um you know not a lush and so i figured

not yourself i mean not my real not my true self i hide my true identity from people i care about that's why i'm doing this in front of you yeah i'm happy to be me when you're around but anyway so i'm gonna have a glass of wine to you uh to this is my recovery phase during my caillou review good yeah because i need to be kind of cocooned away uh the social butterfly is really an introverted man you're running with this thing you went backwards in your stages yes you'll be a pupa i'm the i went from a beautiful big beautiful butterfly to a hungry caterpillar chrysalis i'm back in my little flying through the salami or whatever he does

yes the caterpillar flies through the salami okay while you're doing that let me read this review of caillou entitled one out of of Caillou. Title one out of 10. Very relatable title, actually. Sorry. One out of 10 stars. Title is Make It Stop. Okay. Here we go.

It says warning spoilers. So just in case anyone is worried about the spoilers of Caillou. Yeah, there's a 15 second button on this app for a reason. For whatever podcast you're listening to. I am severely angered by this show. It is quite possibly the worst show that PBS has ever aired. You know, okay, I'm going to pause to say, I can't say I disagree. I also don't disagree because i loved pbs growing up and even when francisco was little i thought pbs was pretty quality i don't know what's on there now

i'm sure i'll find out soon but kaiyu was the one show that drove you and me both crazy but it's at least not one of those shows where if someone tells me they really liked kaiyu as a kid i would feel judgment towards them i don't know i'm sure there's reason to like this little shit. No, I mean, I don't really care at the end of the day, but I did find it annoying when I was a teenager. Yeah. I still find it annoying. It is.

Yeah. Here we go. Quite possibly the worst thing about it is that kids idolize that little bowling ball headed brat. All he does is whine about anything that happens. I honestly can't see how it teaches anything, but, wham,

Rosie hit me, mommy. After seeing probably a minute of this crap, I was smashing my head against the wall, trying to make it leave, but they just don't make earplugs powerful enough to cancel out that whiny little monster. End of review. Why are you watching it?

I don't know. This is like some Clockwork Orange shit. They're being like forced to endure the show. Maybe they're just a prolific IMDB reviewer. Oh, they had to get through this. Oh, they saved it for last. But they have such a

code of ethics that they were like, I need to watch the whole half hour before I give it a fair review, even though it's pure torture. Hey, respect. Respect. Who knows? Maybe Caillou has a redemption. Can you imagine at the end? They're i give it a fair review even though it's pure torture respect respect who knows maybe kayu has a redemption can you imagine at the end they're like it's really not so bad yeah there was that one review you read earlier i meant to say um i felt like they changed their own mind during the review where they were saying sometimes we have that happen in reviews where it's like they i don't know they changed their mind completely that person that you read earlier changed their mind and said you know what no the people who write the show are dumber than dora i've just realized like they're they're talking themselves into a tizzy um and by

the way those were the people those are my former co-workers yeah you know so you agree with the reviewer yeah they're so dumb no just kidding they're all actually so much smarter than i could ever be uh very brilliant minds there's a reason these shows are successful exactly i mean you're right there's a real reason dora the explorer merchandise is probably besides what's that show with the paw patrol i feel like those are the big yeah i mean i guess dora is like old now i feel like that's not really our age anymore um or i mean yeah it's true no yeah and it hasn't been on the air in some years but bluey is the new one that's that people rave about oh that's an australian show is it australian i think people always say do you watch bluey with leona and i'm like um no but i will yeah no i hear it's that's

the one to watch one that adults actually enjoy enjoy, too, which is very fun. So that might be a one day situation. I don't mean one day. I mean, one day that will be. Yes. An everyday situation, just to be clear. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping.

Promo code searching. It takes skill. Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet, a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime. All starting at just $99 a month.

Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at CUDO. Conditions apply. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham. We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami.

So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly. We're talking frigging fresh slicing and I'm yelling yes way. Get a six inch black forest ham for only $4.99. Only at Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. Okay, Alexander, the next review I have is of a show.

I don't know if you've heard of it. It's called Make Way for Naughty. So it's not Naughty's Toyland. I think Naughty's Toyland is the movie. The movie. I think because there were pages for both, but I think Make Way for Naughty is the actual um tv show series also that like adult super center that's that we've passed on on the way to no that's naughty's toilet so you're getting them mixed up again oh you're so right um this show is one that we watch as kids and for whatever

reason i would probably a good reason alexander had like completely blacked out i did the existence of this show and i remember not again though well yeah and also doesn't help that people whenever naughty comes up in on social media i get a little notification on my phone it's often uh trending on twitter maybe it's only been a couple times since we first talked about it on the podcast but it was inevitably i get a tag favorite moments on the show because i kept saying you know naughty that show and you were thought i was saying naughty like n-a-u-g-h-t-y but it's n-o-d-d-y and you were like you know we watched a show called naughty's toyland and anyway uh point being i found a review of this and this is a kid who is

nine years old and believes this show is for 18 plus i think they i think they got confused yeah the same thing you did are you sure you're reading the right thing no i'm not um so this is a review one star title is gives me the creeps This is a review one star title is gives me the creeps. So creepy. The animation is really horrible. And someone can't be famous for driving around in a car and helping people. Don't watch this.

She's like, excuse me. What's so special about this little twerp so not believable he drives around and gets like lauded for you know picking up a loaf of bread for the neighbor or whatever he does oh my god oh that cracks me up kid you're going places yeah you are going places i would love to know what this kid's idea of a tv show is i'm sure it's great not not being sarcastic i i really am curious absolutely especially if this uh if naughty is for 18 year olds for only grown-ups i wonder what kind of show she'd really like to watch as a nine-year-old do you have any more um i have one more okay great this is my last one uh d also mentioned this show i only have two more so okay perfect uh so this one is of uh peppa

pig uh-huh for those who don't know it's a pig another bratty character supposedly and i really wanted to i i don't know anything about it but uh i think that was definitely like it missed us and francisca yeah um but renee's brother joe was obsessed with it and he apparently like a lot of kids started saying things in a british accent uh if they're living in not england they started saying things with the british accent because she talks um no in england too christina they did yeah oh that's the weirdest that's why they have that accent. It wasn't before Peppa. They didn't have that until Peppa Pig started. That's why when you watch The Crown, she sounds so strange. And you're like, oh, she didn't have Peppa to model her language for her.

So true. That's why I can't understand anything they say. I only understand the Peppa's English. Yeah, because like the rain in Spain. What is that one? Falls mainly on the plane. Yeah, that musical. Sound of music. Is that a musical? It Mainly on the Plane? Yeah, that musical. Is that a musical? It's not the sound

of music, certainly. Yes. Peppa Pig was a touring musical, I believe. I'm not even kidding. It changed. They had a Peppa Pig live thing. I bet they had On Ice too, but I know they had one. Peppa Pig musical. Yep.

November 2nd, Cincinnati Taft taff theater peppa pig's adventure oh my god should we go peppa pig live i mean oh my god we should go oh my fair lady duh okay so it was in my fair lady remember she talked kind of funny i've never seen it oh my god you have but i think you probably blocked it out we watched not. We watched it after Naughty. No, Elsie made us watch it when we were little. That's believable. On a VHS tape. But she talked in that voice.

And again, it's so sad they didn't have that inspiration, that person to look up to. The piglet? That piglet to look up to. This person would disagree. They gave it a 1 out of 10. Titled Christ Alive. Oh, also, warning, spoilers. How are people giving this any stars? I'm not even lying.

My youngest watched it, and we started to notice what a whiny, horrible child he was becoming. Crying, tantrums, using the word stupid literally all the time. My eldest two didn't watch Peppa, and this was unlike anything I'd ever seen. He was just horrible. Then one day, I noticed him copying George. So we banned Peppa Pig and replaced it with Hey Dougie. My child is actually lovely now. It's like banishing Peppa exercised him or something. Oh my God.

Mummy Pig is pretty much the most abusive, gaslighting, lazy pig I have ever had the displeasure of listening to. Darren, I can't imagine this person's listening to too many pigs. Maybe Babe, but Babe is so great. The Babe sets the bar so high. Exactly. So it's not fair to pig kind. Like, honestly, it makes me cringe the way she speaks to Daddy Pig and her parents. You can tell they're not his parents because they literally run him down all the time.

Peppa is just horrible. If she was my kid, I'd have probably locked her in the shed by now. She's just such a spoiled evil little hog end of review it's the weirdest thing how my child starts saying all these jesus h christ christ alive i wonder how my child has said the word stupid so often whenever i let him out of the shed he calls me stupid whenever i lock him away for running me over with the four-wheeler don't get me started my in-laws I cannot believe this I I wonder how bad it is because because I read a few Peppa Pig reviews too and they were all kind of saying the same thing that my kid it was similar to Caillou like

my kid became really like um aggressive or was copying the language or it's one of those things where you read so many of those reviews where you start thinking, hey, maybe they have at least somewhat of a point. Yeah, I guess. I don't know enough about these shows, but yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if kids had some issues that stem from them watching certain shows. Yeah, I mean, I can see, even when I listen to podcasts, I pick up on certain sayings and things that i don't say in normal life yeah that i just hear in my podcast

so i can see why that would happen yeah i just i i don't know that's why i'm saying tom and jerry they hit each other with hammers yeah i don't know what positive stuff you're getting from tom and jerry i'm not that i didn't watch it i loved it but um yeah what kind of i actually hated it you did i did it made me so stressed out oh i loved it because i was like stop trying to eat him well you knew he never would succeed so i didn't i did but i i suspended my disbelief you know what i mean wow quite the imagination you have being able to imagine tom getting more of a lack finally getting jerry it was more of a lack thereof i just couldn't understand what the what the end that the ending would be the same every single time but then also i was like don't hurt that cat you're dropping an anvil on his head you know fair like stop smashing his head that's gonna kill him yeah shockingly

never killed him i i just couldn't pick up on the pattern. You know, I think it's a problem. Every time I'd wake up in the middle of the night to screaming because she thought Tom died. It was holding a funeral like weekly and had a grave out back and it was just empty because I was like, one of these days he's not going to survive. She had posters of a poster of Jerry in her room with like big X's for eyes. And it was like really she was just really mad at jerry she hated jerry we only had the nerf darts though so i just they didn't i had to glue them on because they didn't stick to the wall yep this is a dumb show that we do okay i wonder i bet some kids are gonna have behavioral issues if they

listen to us my eyes just went wide because i heard myself say it out loud and i went oh my god what are we influencing i hope nobody and nothing i really do uh wow okay so this is a two-star review of the show arthur which i maintain as a classic and even the younger even gen z loves arthur like i feel like this is a mutually loved show by many generations yeah i i those those books books alone the show i loved all it's just all so classic and so fun um and that was the one when francisco was little i just really hated watching wonder pets and all that stuff and dinosaur fun. And that was the one when Francisco was little. I just really hated watching Wonder Pets and all that stuff and Dinosaur Train. What's Wonder Pets? That sounds so familiar.

Remember the hamster and he flew around? The duckling. Oh, my God. And they flew around and saved the day. Yes. Yeah. I forgot about that. Honestly, I couldn't.

That was so funny. I love that show. Damn Dinosaur Train. I love Dinosaur Train. I think Wonder Pets was great. I didn't mind Wonder Pets. Oh, my God. They're so funny i love that show dinosaur train i love dinosaur train i think wonder pets was great i didn't mind they're so funny but i it is weird because i feel like we have a strange like small pocket insight into that because of francesca because of francesca we missed everything on both either side of it yeah um but anyway so uh because i think teletubbies was between us and her sort of like

yeah i remember watching teletubbies back at uh beachwood on the third floor and i think you and i watched it and we were like haha this is so stupid it's for babies but i enjoyed it but we didn't change the show yeah exactly no we that that was there was a time when it was kind of embarrassing at our age to put like quote unquote embarrassing to watch it but we still watched it do you think that still happens because i remember feeling so ashamed because people at school were singing that song um uh joy to the world. No, wait. What? Hold on. Okay, where is this going? It went, it went. Is this a bit? No, I'm serious.

I'm dead serious. It went, Barney's dead. They barbecued his head. They stuffed him in a toilet or whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah. And it was like this really graphically violent song. Very aggressive. And I remember being six. I was in first grade and thinking like but i

love barney yeah and being like really disturbed because i know i didn't have any context for why you would like chop off someone's head i was very startled by that um and i remember thinking everyone went around the room and said do you watch barney and of course i had to say no yeah that kind of thing like just a lot of like pointing out like who should be bullied or made fun of i don't know i just i just i hope it's not that way anymore because me too i hope it's at least less aggressive they're like give me your give me your phone so i can look at your youtube history see if you're still watching coco melon oh that would be terrible yep prove it oh my gosh i remember one time in school this is just one of those like memories that lives in my brain and will haunt me for eternity um is when shana simon

had everybody in the library and she made us she went down the line and smelled all of our hair to see who had washed our hair that day oh That's so bad. That's bad. And you know what? What? This is the worst part. I was like, thank God. Because I didn't shower every single day. I was eight, okay?

Yeah. Or whatever. Like, I literally... Yeah. And honestly, I still don't shower every day. You're not even necessarily supposed to. You don't have to. So, I didn't shower...

And no one smelled Shana's hair. See, that's a thing. Great point. She got ahead of it. She got ahead of it she got ahead of it point alexander you know what i mean she that's why she is the ceo of google now i'm just kidding i thought she works for like dove shampoo or something she actually did back then she was in charge of their like it uh like on it was like the on the ground grassroots marketing.

Jesus Christ. She smelled everybody's hair and was like, you're good. You're good. You're good. And I was like, thank God I actually washed my hair this morning. And then she smelled my hair and she went, oh, gross. And I still don't know if it was just like to be mean or if like mom just bought some weird like non scented like Toms of Maine shampoo or something that you couldn't smell. It doesn't matter.

But anyway, things like that. I don't know why I'm talking about this, except that I think about it a lot of times when I can't fall asleep at night. Anyway, this is a review of Arthur. It's a two star review by a teenager, 13 years old, who believes Arthur is for ages five and up. Two stars. And the title is Slice of Life Show is Mostly Unremarkable and Bland. And again, this is a 13-year-old sounding like he's writing a piece in The New Yorker. But anyway, here we go.

Don't get me wrong. There are some good things about this show nowadays like mr rapper and being gay and one of the bullies becoming good however the plots are mostly boring and nonsensical such as the brain fighting a spanish animal girl called los dados in a chess match or the 22 minute special with dw's birthday where dw plays hide and seek and finds a spot where the twins never find her in that episode, DW's bizarre fantasies come to life while Arthur is traveling four years in the future using a black hole. Also, the episodes that do feature something remarkable are handled pretty poorly in an

overly boring and kiddy way. I heard there are episodes about 9-11 and cancer and that those are pretty good, but I didn't get to see any of them there is some slapstick bullies and an episode where arthur is constantly teased about how he has a crush on francine like in every other piece of children's media but otherwise this series is very kid friendly which is the best i can say about it this title contains great messages too much violence and sexy stuff wait too much violence i see sounded like this child wanted more violence out of arthur what's the 9-11 this isn't kitty this is too kitty for me hey they told me it was 9-11 in here we need death and destruction blow up the building yeah i was

very surprised i thought oh wow 9-11 cancer and then they were like but unfortunately those were nowhere to be found i can just picture this child googling or YouTubing Arthur 9-11, Arthur cancer. Arthur cancer. I mean. Don't Google that. Don't Google that. Let's just put it ahead of. Let's just get ahead of it.

Don't Google that. I don't even know because I can't specifically remember. I do remember Mr. Rapport being gay. That was like a recent thing. Like the recent announced thing. Recently, like definitely a Gen Z level. Like they were all excited. Yeah.

But you weren't. I was not. I actually. Because you had a big crush on him. I know you were like, not again. Another person or character I had a crush on turns out to be gay. The problem was I only had one space left on my loose leaf paper where I was listing all of the names and mr rapper i was like i have to end on mr rapper lord uh anyway i was yes i was in love with mr rapper i can't even say that who wasn't who wasn't though right amen okay

so this is the last one i have um this is a review of the big comfy couch yes oh my god classic canadian television at its finest canadian television the peak of it and this is a one-star view by green beans 912 and it's an adult who believes this show is for 18 and up wow the title is don't Be Fooled by the Goofy Clowns. This show has disturbing sexual references. And I. It sounds familiar. I'm extremely curious to see what you think at the end of this. I feel like we talked about. Did we?

Big comfy couch sexual references before. Isn't that weird? Because I was Googling it and I was like, I feel like I've thought about this. Okay. You're Googling this. That's not, I feel like I've thought about this. Okay. That's not how I meant to say that. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. No.

I just mean, after this review, I read it and I went, what the fuck? And I started Googling it thinking like, what are they referring to? And I couldn't find anything. Oh. Yeah. And then I asked. Who did you ask? I was like, I didn't ask ask you i'm asking you right now

if you have any uh memory of this because i felt like we had talked about it but i don't know when or why well speaking of which sorry quick side note uh in our 200th episode i brought a yelp forum and everyone was tweeting oh yeah you already talked about that apparently we talked about that yelp forum where people mentioned beach to sandy are you serious yeah i don't remember that at all but multiple people said that so i'm pretty sure in the 200th episode i was like i'm amazed it took us this long to find you did say that yeah oh no whoopsies uh yeah i don't know i know we've talked about big comfy couch on here before but i i don't know like major bedhead like oh i don't like what's something wrong with that hanging from my telephone wire oh my gosh good

stuff i remember that i remember like the clock stretching oh yeah yeah she was very limber molly was yeah is that her name molly or was a doll molly um her name was lunette the clown the clown then molly molly was a doll molly the dolly okay the Clown, then Molly the Doll. Molly was the doll. Molly the Dolly. Okay, so the title, once again, is Don't Be Fooled by the Goofy Clowns. This show has disturbing sexual references. I'm very curious. Let me start by saying that I used to watch this show as a child and recently stumbled across it on YouTube Kids while browsing through old shows with my husband and six-year-old. While I had a vague memory of any specific details, I remember being obsessed with the couch.

The main character, Lunette, would randomly pull oversized objects from inside the couch, items that couldn't possibly fit without, quote, magic. Sounds like a dream for an imaginative child, right? I hit play on the first episode that came up and was utterly floored by the content. The scene opened with Lunette and her puppet doll Molly under the blanket making funny noises. Hmm. Lunette popped her head out and said, parentheses, paraphrasing, Oh, hi. We're playing under the blanket making funny noises. She covers her head again and continues making blowing noises with her tongue like fart sounds and reappears to assure the audience that it's okay, we're only making silly noises.

Lunette then removes the blanket completely, showing Molly bent over with her bum in the air. My husband and I looked at each other in horror, mouthing Lunette's last phrase to each other while our son giggled at the fart noise. The scene continued with a word rhyming game where Molly had to guess a word that rhymed with Lunette's. Molly, who doesn't speak, expresses herself with thought bubbles containing pictures of what she's thinking. Molly rhymed the word bum with a thought picture of a cartoon baby in a diaper bent over as she previously was showing the top of the bum. Granted adults see things differently than kids. My husband and I viewed this scene with the knowledge of all the bad things in the world

and maybe we are overthinking it. However we immediately exited the show and went back to YouTube search results only to see titles like give a Pinch, Grow an Inch, Bubble Bath for Molly, and I Feel Good. After further research on my own, I found an array of sexual references in nearly every episode of the show, making it clear that this odd display was not an isolated, creepy incident. Simply put, parents are responsible for teaching their children about appropriate and inappropriate contact with people. This keeps our children safe from possible predatory behavior of others. Simultaneously, we struggle to find tactful ways of explaining such uncomfortable things, and this show almost normalizes behavior that parents would certainly not want directed at their child. Subliminal messages are very real in media,

and data shows that such messages can and will affect the way children approach certain situations and subsequently react to them thereafter. I strongly encourage parents to watch this program before allowing their kids to watch it. End of review. Jeez. I just feel like there's nothing that bad. I would be surprised if there was actually anything that bad but they're not wrong about subliminal messages

and also there are a lot of very questionable YouTube channels, now TikTok accounts that have that kind of content that is very questionable like what? like very sexualized children's like seriously yeah that's scary

there's a lot out there like that and so that's why i'm like okay maybe i see i i don't discount like the the anxiety over that yeah i guess yeah i guess i'm just like they're playing under a blanket i'm not like oh my god what they described i'm like that doesn't seem nearly as bad they were paraphrasing i'm like no i know i was like maybe you should just tell us what happened exactly it would be it's just one of those things where i'm like i'd have to see it first to yeah but also the her kid was laughing at the fart noises which was like i assume was the point of what they were doing yeah i don't know i i think but they even acknowledge that maybe they're thinking too much

about it i don't know overthinking that bit but if they saw all these references and thought it wasn't appropriate for their child whatever subliminal messages mean like you said that that was a real thing in like i'm that's what i'm talking about those youtube channels there's so many like the supposedly kid-friendly channels that are very that like we can see what's going on but maybe kids don't yeah and and also like the intention behind it is not positive either right um i'm not saying that's the case for big comfy couch but yeah as someone who grew up watching big comfy couch that's not something that uh ever crossed my mind but again like it's you know i was a kid so who knows you also watched naughty's toyland so i did what i experienced naughty's toyland out so you know true who knows what you were absorbing and what you weren't um but yeah no you're right and i mean

i i think the thing about lunette the clown and, too, is it was like a bunch of adults in costume, which, you know, I mean. But they're literally clowns. So if they're under the covers making fart noises, I'm going to not read too much into that because they're fucking clowns. And also the doll is like. I shouldn't have said it that way. Oh. They're fucking clowns. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Talk about subliminal messaging. Oh, no, not in our show. Of course, our show, that's what comes out of all of this I understand that Maybe it's like oh this is uncomfortable But I don't Also like a baby has a butt

I don't know it's just such a A baby in a diaper You sexualizing a This reviewer is kind of sexualizing What I think is like a very innocuous thing I think that's very innocuous thing. I think that's exactly what it was. Like, oh my gosh, they were bent over.

And it's like, well... Have you not seen a baby? Have you seen Leona? Because she thinks she can do a handstand and it really never ends well. She's wild. She's so fast. She's scary. She's like zipping. She's a menace.

You blink and she's in another room. It's very, or inside the fireplace. Like somewhere, like not even in a room. Like she was in the room. Which room is she in? Oh, she's not in a room. She's inside the chimney. Okay.

That answers that. She's not even walking yet. No, she's not. That's scary. Oh, she's trying though. So that's really frightening. So until she can climb upstairs. At least now you can escape her by walking upstairs. does climb stairs no oh yeah that's the biggest problem with her

crawling is you look away for a minute and she's halfway up the stairs you have to like i didn't know she could do that oh yeah she climbs and climbs and climbs i struggle with stairs to this day stairs are hard yeah so she's very good at that and all she wants to do is go up the stairs because she knows i mean i don't know if I've probably said this on the show, but her first words were 999. She spent all day today, which is October 3rd, saying 999. And it's her favorite word because we say it anytime she's doing one of her favorite activities. So she's putting her finger in an outlet. She's climbing the stairs.

She's chasing the cat. She's dumping the dog's water bowl into her lap. And we say 999, which is German for for no so it's now her favorite word but you can usually find her when you hear that noise echoing through the house and she's either inside the chimney or at least she announces that she's doing something she does yeah so that that is helpful anyway so i read that and i felt kind of bummed out because i was like, wow. Yeah. Nothing sacred, which I mean, we've already learned that throughout this show. Yeah, I got to say, Big Comfy Couch was always sacred to me. And it still is.

It still is. Yeah. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. And it was around this time that I remembered the show Gullah Gullah Island. And I got, I don't have a review of it but i just got like really weirdly invested in it and oh there was like we're watching it or just reading about it i was watching it oh it's on peacock tv i used oh oh by the way if there are a bunch of searches on there for gulla gulla island doctor visit dentist that was me okay because i'm using your account you know you are oh yeah i was i mixed up with

discovery plus which i'm using yours right a stink boy 420 you named it i did name it and it has a sasquatch a bigfoot uh profile pic still cracks me up but yes i uh i was looking at gull gull island and there was one dentist i'm googling that i was looking up Gulligull Island and there was one. Dentist. I'm Googling that. I was looking for the doctor episode. Because this is, I don't know. I should probably talk to a therapist about this. But I used to be obsessed with any doctor episodes of any TV shows we watched.

Like any kids shows where they went to the doctor. I was like deeply obsessed with. We had that vet CD-ROM too. That was very. I i was like deeply obsessed with we had that cd vet cd rom too that was very i was in her deeply deeply obsessed uh anything that had to do with the doctor yeah i was obsessed with and i don't know what it means i don't know if it was like your body knew you had like a chronic illness a very bad illness maybe and i remember this one time when i was little and gulla guullah Island was coming on. And obviously we did not have the ability to switch or skip commercials or change the channel.

And I was like, oh, my gosh, I love this show. And I thought, God, I wish they would do an episode about going to the doctor. And I was like closing my eyes and like praying that it would be a doctor episode. And then the show started and they went to the doctor. And I could not think it was it felt like one of those moments where i was like did i just control reality but i tried to find the episode and i couldn't find it there were a lot of weird ones there's like a talking seagull in the show who becomes a doctor in one of the episodes wasn't that one they went to the dentist i don't remember any of this okay anyway i loved gulla gulla island and by the way i watched it last night and i loved it just as much it still holds up just so good how many edibles in

i think i was at three at that point oh dear no just kidding i had to take i had taken one okay that helps for things like that like i said i wasn't drinking i wasn't being myself so instead i took an edible hey you know sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do if you're researching children's shows like kaiyu but i watched gulligal i watched two full episodes nice and it's fun where do you feed oh you said peacock peacock good to know good to know it was really fun i'm really hurting for something to watch i'm watching succession right now which is a little bit different um you think not not enough of doctor episodes if you ask me there is a talking seagull on that one too yeah true yeah anyway so i don't know i just wanted to throw that in there

because i don't know if anybody else watched that show this has all been an ad for gulla gulla island on you know i wish sometimes there are those like peacock ads that are like um the reason i started watching the patient on hulu is because of a podcast oh really i really want to watch it i'm gonna start it's really good but um this is not an ad for that either can you imagine this was just all like a roundabout ad for anyway hey talk about subliminal messaging it's not very subliminal yeah true it's pretty bliminal what's happening it's pretty bliminal she says as a giant robot what's that robot was there a robot out there yeah what is it it's the cat food the automatic cat food dispenser

but when we had the party we were worried the cats were going to be too scared so we put their food up here but then when i came upstairs to get something to get the tripod for the photo booth i made geo was eating all the cat food so it's completely empty and uh the cats were downstairs anyway trying to trying to get attention yeah or they were trying to eat all the fake leaves since it was kind of a jungle theme party. Okay. Here we go. It's my challenge now.

Yes. Sorry. That was a really long. Gala Gala Island journey. Journey and intermission. So we'll see how much I leave in. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement?

The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit Tresemme.com to learn more. See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor. Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home.

With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at Questrade.com. This was my challenge. It was from Jill. And it was reviews of businesses that are about the business's jingle rather than the business itself.

So good. Wow. So after watching all these shows, delving into all these little like weird nooks of my memory, watching YouTube videos and reading about these jingles was it felt like an extension of the first half of this episode. was it felt like an extension of the first half of this episode interesting because i was like youtubing gulla gulla island and then i was like youtubing like selena and bach i was like googling just more adult version of things that stick stick in your subconscious forever i hope there are common sense media reviews about these well i learned a lot. Good. Unfortunately. So this first one was sent in by Jean Sheher. And I will say, this is one of the topics we've gotten the most emails about in a long time.

Yeah. We got a lot. So I didn't read all of them. But this was from Jean Sheher. And it's about milestone air and electric in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Milestone Air and Electric. Oh, that's pretty good. I don't know what it is. Well, this part they sing is not that.

The part they sing is, we'll fix it in a flash. Oh. We'll fix it in a flash. Honestly, I watched it three times. You don't even know what it is? That sounds about as good as what I could probably emulate. I'm sure Gene is like, no, no, no. It goes like this.

But basically they do. We'll fix it in a flash. And the guy like points to the camera. It's something. It's something. So this is a one star review of Milestone Air and Electric by Arthur. Well, that's weird. That's actually his name. Okay. You guys are out of our service area, but I've tolerated your commercials for quite some time. I usually don't mind, except now y'all are popping

up a nasty picture of a stopped up sink that is gross. It happens so fast that you can't even look away in time. What is that? Chili? Also, please stop showing that every five minutes during dinnertime, please and thank you. End of review. Gross. And this is the response from Milestone Electric air and plumbing owner. Hi, Robert.

It's not chili. It's poop. I see how you mix them up. I also put robert but i meant arthur his name is robert arthur i don't know yeah let's just give all of his names christina that's a great idea okay hi arthur our goal was not to gross you out more to make viewers like you aware of what could be going on in the drains of your home undetected we hope this never occurs in someone's home but in the event that it does you have a trusted company to call who has seen the worst case scenario many times over and can help we hope you have a wonderful day so basically didn't answer any of the questions

of what the product really is in the drain probably poop it's gotta be poop right otherwise i'd say oh don't worry it's not chilly like chilly i mean gross gross gross gross um but yeah i love when they're saying oh i've tolerated your annoying ads for so long with the songs um so this is the one that i was most excited to look up it's of the montgomery flea market in montgomery alabama classic it's such a classic and if you folks i'm sure most of you have heard it if you haven't you gotta look up the montgomery flea market it's just like a mini mall hey hey you can find it i used to watch that that i was gonna say that show i used to watch that uh ad on repeat and then there was a remix and it's just a

good it's just a good song so here's a five star review oh by the way i looked it up on yelp and no longer permanently closed which was a real bum. But I have two reviews and they're both redemptions. So this is a five star review by Russ. Flea Market Montgomery is a super place to visit and to purchase furniture. Sammy Stevens is a very

gracious man who enjoys spending time with all his fans. Definitely worth a stop. And a real. Cute. There were so many people who went in just to see Sammy Stevens.

Because he went viral. And then he went bankrupt. and then he went bankrupt and then he went bankrupt but he went viral first i don't know if he went bankrupt maybe he left his shop for like a star-studded hollywood adventure i just relocated you know it's just like um anymore hey, bedrooms, dinettes. It's so good. Oh my god, I haven't watched that in years. That's like a classic 2000s viral YouTube video. YouTube shit. Yeah, I love it. And this is a five-star review of Montgomery Flea Market by Alvin.

Awesome. This place is just like a Mimi Mall. Oh my gosh. Sorry, they spelled mini mall with an M. And I think they were trying to be clever. This place is just like a Mimi mall. And 11 people found this review useful. 29 found it funny and two people found it cool.

Only two. This place is just like a Mimi mall. The thing is, all the reviews were like, oh, I found a living room bedroom and dinette here. Like they were all playing along with the song. And then Charles wrote Mimi mall. And I was like, oh, bud, you really tried. You tried. All right. The next one I have is a, you really tried. You tried. All right.

The next one I have is a review of Chili's. You know the song? I want my baby back. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

So this is a one star review by Tyler, who's the first to review this Chili's. Can I give this any negative stars? No. Well, one will have to do. Oh my god, this place sucks. I cannot even begin to tell you how disappointed I was when I went here. I gave it three tries, three times I wasted my money here, three times I punished the toilet because of their food. I should have learned from the first time, but I like to give chances. The third and final time my girlfriend and I went here was on Wednesday afternoon. We both got off work early and decided to catch some lunch. For some fucking reason,

we ended up at Chili's. Upon entering the smoke-clad entrance, we were welcomed, after waiting for two minutes, by the loveliest wench I had ever met. Asked for a booth by the bar, in which the witch of the West simply snarled, it's free seating, and walked away mid-sentence. Okay, no big deal since- Mid that sentence? Mid-sentence. It's free seating. I'm so glad you had that thought because I did too, but I was like, maybe I'm overthinking it, but like-

Like three words. Mid-sentence is a stretch. It's a stretch in this context. Okay, no big deal since being a host is such hard work. I thought nothing of it. Yikes, this person. He's insufferable. Dick.

Go punish someone's toilet. The menu looked great. I was very excited to try some of Chili's famous baby back ribs. Enter Malibu Stacy, the ditziest waitress i have ever met now i have worked as a server host and line cook so before any of you bash me for being harsh relax there are a few things i hate more than being a well i was gonna say a uh chauvin asshole, but I think that's right. Tied for first with somebody who tells other people to relax. I cannot stand when people say relax.

Christina, relax, please. It's infuriating. And honestly, it really makes me do the opposite. This waitress couldn't. I feel like when people are telling you to relax, they don't want you to relax. They're trying to rile you up anyway. They're trying to play into that's so true this waitress couldn't name the dressing they carried without checking with the bartender three times three is a lucky number at this place after

she took our order she came back with our free wings it's apparently free wings from open to sometime i didn't really pay attention and we asked for some ranch. About three quarters through the wings, no fucking ranch. I figured she must be busy, but was I delighted to see she was flirting her way through next semester with one of the managers. I politely asked her across the room and no answer. Finally, I had to get up and go up to her and ask, in which she blinked four to six times. It hits her and she scurries off by the time she comes back with it our food comes out holy fucking shit my ribs looked like my grandmother's skeleton boiled and served with some ketchup oh help help what that's a new one dude that's some fucking psycho uh what's that show norm uh bates motel shit looked like my grandma's skeleton served with ketchup what a disturbing

thought yeah holy fucking shit my ribs looked like my grandmother's skeleton boiled and served with some ketchup and my girlfriend's fajitas looked like last night's garbage refried with a hint of loose stool. The only good thing we had were our drinks and the wings because they were free. Chilis, I hate you. And in the tune of your famous jingle, I want my money back, money back, money back. Chilis, you really suck. Your food is just fug ugly. Yes, fug ugly. End of review. Oh, you really suck. Your food is just fug ugly. Yes, fug ugly.

End of review. Oh, saying it twice doesn't make it make sense, though. Yeah. He's like, you heard me, right? And I'm like, are you sure? Are you sure I did? Are you sure? Wow.

This person. You can't say, tell people to relax while you're also comparing your grandmother's skeleton to a plate of ribs from chilies you're the one who needs to relax and i i say that to rile you up and because i really do mean it i just feel like before you give him any more criticism we need to remember that he's worked as a server before oh never mind that's true so he knows what his grandmother's skeleton served with words would look like exactly and i feel like you need to understand that he has every right to compare this server to a barbie doll malibu stacy or whatever you call her yeah because that's what it's that's what it's all about being in the service industry you know the restaurant industry that's what it's about yeah um just trashing everyone and their food okay xandy so the last thing i did was i looked up

seleno and barnes classic i feel like we knew about seleno and barnes yeah but it's it's like an upstate new york oh company maybe to the internet? I don't know. Maybe. That might be it. I was trying to figure out like why on earth we were so familiar with this commercial jingle. But I feel like we saw it on TV. Maybe. Maybe.

I don't know. I could be wrong. But I definitely knew about Selina and Barnes. And do you know the song? Any of the songs? That's a hint. Oh, I feel like i would if i started to hear them it's like selena and barnes injury attorneys

that's not right it's off tune but you know what i mean no that was fantastic but that is the newer one that's one of the newer ones. Okay. Okay. Now, there was a whole drama and multiple people emailed me the entire drama and I'm not going to read all of it. Basically, from what I gathered, Celino and Barnes were two injury attorneys. They made this, their original song was a different phone number. It was like something, something, 50, 20, or I don't know. There was a different song that was like their local it was either Rochester New York or Buffalo or something it was like their number then when that became kind of a

viral sensation so to speak or it was like really well known they changed their number what to 888 888 888 and people were pissed like pissed like why would you change a good thing they wanted to be double of blake mazlin they wanted to double blake mazlin uh blake the attorney mazlin if you will local legend four four four four four four four so they made it eight at eight and then at one point the slogan was even like call eight but then the two of them got into a legal battle yes i'm serious there were some legal issues with both of them they got into it they split up then seleno became his own firm and his number was four four four four four four four four four yeah okay and then there was barnes they tried to do their own jingle essentially with different numbers and then they reunited a few years ago but barnes was killed in

a helicopter crash at age like 61 shit anyway it's all very dramatic i need to be reading this i need a serious go check the emails a lot of people sent me the story and i probably butchered some of it but i can't wait for the freaking discovery plus yeah it's gonna be like a docu-series docu-series yeah but everyone knows them for their yeah jingle so this is a four-star review of selena and barnes and it is by fox no i'm so serious oh my gosh amazing okay four stars and there's an update so i'm going to read the original first they have a massive presence in buffalo although a while ago they became the barnes firm as selena was disbarred or something for a few years now he's back with a a vengeance. Well, I'm not sure about the vengeance. I went to them because I was a victim of a brutal attack in the south towns of Buffalo. I only decided to talk to them when I was on the road,

so I went into their Manhattan office to talk to them about the possibility of a lawsuit since the actual law hadn't done anything about it. We knew who was responsible for the attack, and I even had video evidence of it. Unfortunately, they weren't too interested because they generally only take on cases they are pretty sure they can win that are open and shut and straightforward. Mine was much more complicated and without getting into details of it, they turned it down right away. They did seem sympathetic and decent people but did not help me at all. I'd like to also state the obvious that I did not meet with either Celino or Barnes and I doubt they even work out of this office. Uh, and then here's the

update. Ceilings and Barnes are much better. Basically roofs and places where horses hang out. These lawyers can't deal with that. They're one of New York's most famous and infamous personal injury firms. Despite my somewhat negative review, I received the most wonderful, heartfelt, and detailed follow-ups after this review that showed me how much they really care. It made sense to me and made me feel much better about the whole thing. So I think based on this, four stars is deserved. Yeah. End of review.

Nice, Fox. And there's a photo that he included of the the famous billboard one of them love it uh injured question mark 800 88888 and uh there is also a fame and he his caption says oh no both of them got injured how sad oh my god and there is a famous billboard that says injured great and so that was kind of one of their little viral marketing campaigns that's terrible i love it but it's terrible i know and this was the final one i have it's a redemption of selena and Barnes by Sam. Five stars. I was watching TV and was excited to see a Celino and Barnes commercial because of the catchy jingle. I watched the commercial and was left very surprised to hear no jingle. I immediately

called the number and filed a complaint. The person on the phone seemed to be laughing for some reason. I don't know why. Then two weeks later, I see a new commercial that only had, Don't wait, call 8. I was so upset and disappointed. What happens if someone forgot their number and can't remember it? However, I was most upset about how they didn't respond to a complaint. Here's a response from business owner. This seems reasonable.

Thanks for five stars, though. End of review. Self-aware. They know what people care about it's about it's that jingle i that's hilarious that they called and the person like laughed and i also love that they called and said what if i forget the number and they're like you just called us without the jingle like you literally just used that commercial to call us it's obviously like literally you just call just a bunch of eights yeah yeah so yeah so anyway there were a lot of options i feel like again i just scratched the surface on this including children's shows there were so many i could think of like wrecker and burger i did last week so you know i left that one alone but uh empire today that's a

good one yeah there's the general the general oh my gosh after like while watching price is right yeah i was gonna say just watch that price is right during the commercials write down every single thing that advertises and you'll get plenty the good news is i'm so glad they're advertising. You're so glad. So stupid. Anyway, that's that. Good stuff. Well, y'all, we are 10 days from Chicago. It's been sold out, too, like officially for a little bit.

So thanks, y'all, for doing that. And I can't wait to see you in Chicago to those who are coming. We've got, yeah, porch peg and pin. We've got hoodies with our logo on the front. Looks great. I to get my own ordering mine right now good idea dad hats are in stock uh we got all sorts of goodies for next week uh we haven't put the poll up but i believe based on the comments of this poll the children's show poll one of the options will be uh of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the stars, whatever it is. And then whatever the two of us come up with. And then you have to give me a challenge.

You have one ready for me so people can write in and help me? Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally. Here it is. All right. I have a good challenge for you this is from the ghost of sky she her slash phantom question mark oh i don't know if i want this oh wait i realize why i should have realized why because i've already read the email oh but let me let me explain so she says i was listening to this week's episode board game reviews on my way

to work and in case you need a reminder alexander's challenge was to find reviews of products that people had named like fiona the flamingo and all the sex toys you read i was walking into my professional quiet office where i am employed as an associate attorney and when i got to the hallway two things happened one one of our shareholders was also walking into the hallway was it seleno or barnes the late 60s man who was very sweet and southern and quiet and two somehow my phone or watch pressed play on the podcast and the phrase dildo large realistic vibrating started playing out loud i am so sorry my soul left my body and hasn't returned so this is why she's understandable yes so in memory of me i propose a challenge where the

reviewer was embarrassed by the thing they're reviewing bonus points for positive reviews got it i love that that's cool that's gonna lead to some fun stuff anyways hopefully there are podcasts in hell because that's where i live now oh no love sky that sounds great product where they were embarrassed so they're embarrassed of whatever they're uh reviewing ideally positive reviews great yes i think that'll be fun i do have a very similar challenge for you for the next one okay so i might as well just give it to you now before i forget it uh it's based on our mother. Oh, no. Because our mom would never go to Potbelly's, the sandwich shop, Potbelly's, because she said she hates the name. Oh.

So I would like you to find reviews where people are like that, where they say, oh, I'd never go to this establishment because of the name. That's so good. For no other reason. They're just like, yeah, Potbelly's. It just grows to her. She also hates the restaurant, The Rusty Bucket. See? Stuff like that. Yep.

So, I don't know. It's probably not just our mom, but... Oh, I'm sure there are plenty. I'll give you... I'm giving you a little extra time now to come up with some reviews. But, yep. That sounds good. Yay.

Okay. Well, we'll see you next week then. Talk to you then. Bye, y'all. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.