Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 203: Reviews of Spirit Halloween Stores

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

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it's my fault that's why i left it all on the stage in chicago oh that was a fun show though i had a blast y'all were amazing we had a great time in chicago and i feel bad because i feel like so when i get sick i like social media everything i'm just nothing yeah i'm like i can't look at anything but there was so much like so many positive things so many positive messages uh so many like tags and stories and stuff and i felt like shit the day after yeah and so i didn't do it anything god we didn't do a meet and greet and infect everybody oh my god i know i know god so yeah anyway anyway it's five o'clock on tuesday this episode comes out at midnight we

did this last week too when i was sick so we're just gonna record yesterday and i just was not well no we're just a mess and a half uh probably more than one and a half messes we're at least two so this episode might be a little bit shorter but that just means it's more densely curated content yeah that's what it is. Densely funny. That's what I call myself sometimes. So we decided to come up with our own theme since we did not prepare properly. So our theme. Sorry, patrons.

Sorry, patrons. But I promise we'll be back at it, letting you rule our lives and dictate what we do very soon. But for now, we chose uh spirit halloween stores yeah because it's spooky season it's halloween in just a couple weeks and honestly i found some good stuff so i'm pretty happy with this theme i found a few good ones i think we'll see but i think you should go first i do too okay So this is a one-star view of Spirit Halloween, I believe in Honolulu or somewhere in Hawaii. I didn't write down exactly where. And this is a one-star view by Jeannie. This is regarding the Spirit Halloween and the former Toys R Us.

I was there today, September 17, 2019, at about 5.30 p.m. First, I'd like to say I love this store. We look forward to it every year. Unfortunately, they are getting one star because of my experience today. It may have been partly my fault, but an employee should never talk to a customer like this. So here's my story. jumps out and says what the fuck i'm a worker to me and my seven-year-old daughter so i told him hello i know that just like how i know that's just a dummy zombie it was just a joke gee whiz get a sense of humor he gave me the dirtiest look and shaking his head at me my daughter said mommy he said the f word i know i'm partly to blame so I don't want this guy to get fired, but I hope that he will. How kind.

How generous. How thoughtful and caring. But I hope that he will be taught he should never treat or talk to a customer like that. I'm a manager of a retail store myself, so I know there is absolutely no reason to swear at a customer, let alone yell at them. Even if they are dead wrong, you can always find a better way to approach any given situation. If only we could teach this guy a sense of humor. To the manager or owner of Spirit Halloween at Toys R Us, if you actually read your reviews, don't fire the guy.

Just please talk with him on customer service and this type of reaction behavior is not acceptable. I think he can be taught. He seems to have anger issues though. End of review. Oh my god. This is almost worse than if she just come out and said he should be fired. It's worse. It feels way more condescending. Yeah, it's so condescending. It very like don't worry i'm a good person i wouldn't i wouldn't want to wish this bad on this person i manage a store myself and every time i make really inappropriate comments about um preying on child monsters right like that's gross that's a gross joke i like that she's like he said the f word in front of my daughter and i'm like

you said uh stop looking up a little girl's skirt in front of your daughter and then said isn't that a funny joke so i don't know i don't know if you have much room to to argue here i don't know either are you waiting for someone else to weigh in? Yeah. Okay. Okay. No one else knows, I guess. My next one, first one. This is of a spirit Halloween. This one is located in Dublin, California.

This is a one-star review. This is by Sandy. I ordered two masks. What was received? I'm perplexed. How do you mix up a fucking dildo for two masks? Y'all can shove this where the sun doesn't shine. I don't know if your shipping department thought this would be cute or funny,

but this was for my 10-year-old grandson who opened this, you sick motherfuckers. This won't be the only time you hear from me end of review wow they included a picture of the open box i saw this review on yelp as well oh you did see this review yeah sorry no it's worth bringing it was my last one i'm glad you made it your first no i'm sorry no the photo i tried to zoom in i can't read the packing slip i'm gonna try to zoom in because it's really blurry it's pretty it's pretty hard to see uh but this is legitimately a picture of a dildo and uh it's called real feel life like toys with a z with a z for With a Z for sure, for sure, for sure. Yeah. 7.25 inches long, realistic, multi-speed. Is that what that says?

I don't know. Multi-speed and waterproof. Oh my God. Oh my God. I just like the threat of this won't be the last time you hear from me. I guess not because they posted on Yelp and Google. No, I got mine on Yelp. Oh, you did. Okay. Google was not working for me. Yelp and Google. No, I got mine on Yelp.

Oh, you did. Okay. Google was not working for me. Oh, bummer. Okay. Hopefully we don't have any more crossover. I'm worried we might. Uh-oh.

That's okay. We'll see. If we were both going to find the same one, we probably would find the dildo one. True, true. That seems to track. would find the dildo one um true true seems to track uh but do you think they actually sell that product real feel i don't know i wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of parent company that all like you know like within the umbrella i learned i don't spencer's gift oh see okay there you go do they sell dildos? Let's find it. They sell like Vans shoes and lava lamps, but I don't know if they sell dildos.

No, not that I can. Wait. Spencer. Shop dildos online. Spencer's Intimates. What? Yeah. Imagine the person who ordered two dildos and was so excited to to finally receive them

and then they opened the box and there was just like a paw patrol mask in there it's like what do you do what do i do with this it's like a different kind of intimate i don't know you know if you want to play play with that but i'm trying to find the exact one real feel yeah it's oh maybe this is it no looks similar oh wait that was it i think i found it no way i fucking found it no way waterproof vibrating dildo seven and a half inch 1999 on spencersonline.com so they do sell it see we got to the bottom of it or four interest-free payments of four dollars and 99 cents i also like the implication that spencer's gifts thought it would be cute not just funny but cute to pack these didn't they say maybe they thought it would be funny or cute yeah cute or funny it's like it's not cute i i do love it when these people assume that it

was something sinister that's some or something not necessarily but like something purposeful something intentional someone really really wanted to remember that time you did read that review of that tea company where they put condoms in there and it was intentional was that yes i don't even remember yes that was part of their thing the company no the company responded and said we had a couple employees who thought that they were you know gonna be clever and put condoms in the packaging but we've dealt with this situation i see i forgot about that i was the one who was like i'm sure it's part of their branding. And you were like, I really don't think so. Bold, bold branding.

Okay, I have a one-star review, and this is just a segment of a longer review, but this is the only part I wanted to keep. This one-star review by Sasha. They do not allow food or drinks in the store, which I can understand, but I set my Frappuccino at the register when we arrived, and by the time we left, was completely melted end of review what oh are they just complaining it's so hot in there i don't think so i think they were just mad that they had to put it down and then it was ruined it was oh my god i was like i was expecting oh somebody threw it away or you know but it was melted i'm like are you five i was like i was expecting oh somebody threw it away or you know but it was

melted i'm like are you five i feel like i need to teach you how how the world works that is something i'd cry about i'd be like when i was five my ice cream melted because i set it down somewhere for too long yeah um and then i'd be like what how did this happen? How did this happen? Who did this? Oh my gosh. Pretty sad. Pretty sad. I completely understand there's no food allowed. But if not, then you should probably supply me with a mini fridge. Fridge, so true.

When was the last time you went to a Spirit Halloween? I went with Francisca two years ago okay i haven't been in so many years we bought colorful wigs there was one right by me but now it's an ace hardware so it's pretty sad there was one near me in la and it just it got robbed like multiple times oh no yeah that was the one in like east hollywood where i lived oh no it was like robbed multiple times and there was i kept getting that was when i had citizen uh still that app right yeah and i got lots of notifications around halloween time of uh different things happening either in that parking lot or in that uh spirit halloween there was one notification that came in that i thought was

halloween themed but i think was just a normal day in that I thought was Halloween themed, but I think was just a normal day in LA where it said someone is walking down the street with a machete. It was a butcher knife. A butcher knife. When she was visiting me, like the one time that you visited me and we went, we're going to go walk to get coffee and I checked my citizen app and I was like, oh no, someone is walking down my street. Your street. My street with a butcher knife. we're gonna go walk to get coffee and i checked my citizen app and i was like oh no someone's

walking down my street your street my street with a butcher knife and my street is very was very short it's not like a big street it was just happened to be on your street someone with a butcher knife so yeah you know that felt very halloweeny to me yeah and that was like because usually i see those citizen things i'm like oh shit okay that's kind of close but this one i'm like oh shit i actually shouldn't go outside yeah what the heck no coffee for me today yeah no i think we found some anyway eventually we snuck out i'm sure i'm sure uh it was all for the best they my frappuccino might have melted before before i got it anyway so it's okay. So true. So let's be clear. When it comes to shipping internationally,

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Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. All right, here's a one-star review of one in Concord, California. This is a one-star. This is just the nature of Spirit Halloweens. Should we explain? Like, if anyone doesn't know what a Spirit Halloween is, it's a hollow. Maybe maybe you should. OK, it's a Halloween store.

And essentially they're known for popping in to often abandoned. Not abandoned. I don't know if abandoned is the right word. Like temporary location. They're like seasonal stores. And so if there's, for example, M was about how um there was a kmart around where they live and um when that closed down it became like the perfect you know um spot for a spirit halloween it's like a pop-up shop every like sears uh yeah you mentioned toys r us strip mall type place and

every stores that close down and then around like august september of every year they they show up and you can buy halloween costumes and animatronics and decorations and all that good stuff. So it's basically just your classic Halloween shop. Yeah. Pop-up Halloween shop. Here's a one star review to give a little bit of insight into that. Great. Pretty short one.

This is someone's fucking home address. God damn it. Just drove for 30 miles to end up in some random person's driveway number one apple maps suck a dick number two yelp also suck a dick end of review no map quest five people found this funny okay um is it actually someone's address did you google this um no because I forgot to. But how funny would that be? I feel like you. I feel like you.

Hey, now. I usually get... I like how the sick version of you, the very sick and limited version of you makes you feel like me. It literally is. No, it's not. I've just looked up the address. It literally is just a residential street. People must pull into that driveway and turn around

and they're like why do they keep turning around in our driveway but it's like oh my god how did they do that but there's like a strip mall like behind the houses but like not accessible on the street like the street is completely wrong it's 100 i can't believe it's still like that the address yeah well it says closed so that's so funny how did they do that I wonder if the people who live there know that this is happening because that would be like such a mystery why are there angry people in our driveway all the time what do they want people who have the the breaking bad house who had to put a fence up because people kept throwing pizza on their roof here it's like all these people trying to like take down their halloween decorations thinking it's for them because they can buy it oh yeah they're like

this is my animatronic now that's my chucky doll no i don't know i don't even know how that happens but that is alarming. The fact that it's still there. Okay, this is a one-star view by I Shit You Not Karen. And this is of a Spirit Halloween in California. It's a one-star view. My husband and daughters went into the Spirit of Halloween in Roseville on Douglas Boulevard. And one of my daughters tried a mask on and turned around and scared my other daughter. She screamed, which is a natural reaction and is also very

common in a Halloween shop. And one of the staff came up and told them if they did not quiet down, she would have to ask them to leave. I wasn't aware it was a library Halloween shop. Quiet in a Halloween shop? And there were boys right by them having a live sword fight. She should have cooled her jets and waited to see if the screaming was chronic, because it wasn't. My girls are teenagers and they are well behaved. My husband and them look forward to going there each year and looking for Halloween costumes, and that lady was rude and ruined it for them. She needs to get over herself and provide good customer service, even she has a temporary job at a halloween store she doesn't have to make herself feel important by threatening to kick people out of the store i will let everyone i know to shop

elsewhere and we will not be back end of review don't you dare shop there they don't let you scream don't let you scream bloody murder inside the building but her screaming wasn't chronic that was that's the weirdest way to say that like she should have waited to see if it was chronic what does that mean i mean i know what it means but like that's not how you use that word as someone with a chronic illness you know i feel like i sort of know how to use that word and i don't think that's the right way i'm gonna trust your gut. My gut is very chronically ill, so yeah. Oh, my God.

It's like going to, I don't know, a Chuck E. Cheese, screaming, blah, blah, blah, like all this whatever. And then when you're asked to quiet down, you're like, what? This place isn't for fun? Oh, I'm sorry. It is, but there are other people there. I didn is a library chucky cheese oh chucky cheese good times we should do an episode on chucky cheese i'm surprised we haven't yet me too i feel like most people are all i gotta close this dildo please do i went to go open my um my notes and then i got the dildos surprise of a lifetime it was um yeah i'm surprised we haven't done chuckie cheese i feel like that would be a fun

one yeah i don't know why we haven't i don't know patreon patrons come on get on it i might put it in the next poll we're just gonna put it as all three options so you don't really have a choice but to vote for it yeah so true all righty everybody um my next one is on fontana california uh this is a review by stacy one star i was going to buy four costumes here i was going to go all out and spend a lot of money this year. Not anymore. When I saw the Ouija section. Pillows, cups, all party items. Are you kidding me? It has

nothing to do with Halloween. As a Christian, I won't support this. And I will tell everyone I know to boycott this store too. I already put it on social media shame on you demonic spirit halloween store end of review god she's so misguided i there is a halloween costume in a spirit halloween called skeleboner okay and that's not what's offending her wait i

want to see that i'm serious skeleboner and skeleboner is not offending her but ouija board cup and cutlery is i mean come on look at this oh my god you told you about this i don't it's not nobody none of your business none of your business oh my god just kidding it's because somebody complained about it on yelp okay that makes sense but i mean the skeleton i can't believe this exists i think it's kind of funny yeah me too there's a hide the sausage arcade game oh no um costume and the joystick oh i see it out at a very specific oh i see it yeah it was in related you it was in you may also like and then adult cactus also which is like of course yeah sure

oh the cactus also has a wang oh it does yeah no wonder oh i wonder how deep we can go before we like stop having like penis ones can i read this to you christina yeah please is the description of skeleboner one piece costume on spirit halloween's website okay description the ladies will be turning their heads to confirm what their eyes just saw when you wear this hilarious skeleboner adult men's costume the black and white bone print jumpsuit features a faux phallus and comes complete with a handheld phallus air pump gloves and mask an air pump i love skill oh my god that that cactus the adult cast this costume yeah wearing a sombrero that says feeling thorny so stupid and comes with two macarons like this is so

macarons did i just say that maracas you did say man i really want to edit that out but at least i told everyone i'm sick so the costume was really nice and fun this is three stars the price was great what i didn't like about it was really nice and fun this is three stars the price was great what i didn't like about it was that having to pee meant having to remove the costume most of the way then having to put it back on again uh just like take off the boner nope you can't pee through the boner you know it's just kind of there you just cut a hole at the end christina there's an adult breathalyzer costume stop and you wear it and it says 69.69 on the front and then it says blow here and there's a little like spout right down oh no

and the guy in the costume like in the photo the model is like pointing at it with this like oh my god but anyway so there's a skeleboner costume and this one's upset about the ouija is like pointing at it with this like, like, Oh my God. But anyway, so there's a skeleboner costume and this one's upset about the Ouija board cups. Like get over it. I know. I, that's just,

I forgot what the point was. I did too, but you know, I didn't really care. Me neither. And honestly, like get like, it doesn't have anything to do with Halloween.

It literally is the only thing it has to do with amen amen hallelujah hallelujah praise be oh god i don't understand i'm just trying to do something i want to send you this i don't want it hold on where's the chat i'm gonna go look at um ew these are so creepy i'm gonna what about the one adult dr greenwood greenweed greenweed oh i saw i saw dr greenweed the leaf doctor oh my god why won't it let me save i can't do this christina i'm too sick for this what about breathalyzer 69 what about balls deep work shirt costume oh that sounds lovely it says winners get it in oh uh-huh okay yep and it says winners get it in show off your love for baseball and romance

what in this hilarious adult balls deep work shirt why stop at third base when you can go the distance good question oh no there's a morning wood lumberjack outfit there's also an adult master baiters costume no you're like a fisherman dick's morning wood service camouflage master baiters vest that's horrifying master baiters no there's an adult lube and go camel towing looks in her terrible this is just bad i just feel like any description that says like this hilarious costume um just automatically drops by several funny points to me did you did you get my breathalyzer photo oh let me see no i didn't it's in the chat oh it is okay let me check oh here it is breathalyzer 69.png yep free mobile oh my god free mobile breathalyzer blow here 69.6 alexander like man if podcasting doesn't work out for us I think we could

make careers designing these costumes because they're so ridiculous I'd hope so but you know this might be one of those things where pun intended it's harder than you think yeah true true masturbator I mean some genius had

to come up with that definitely yeah so okay the Ouija board thing took us down quite a rabbit hole Yeah. Masturbator. I mean, some genius had to come up with that. Definitely. Yeah. So, okay, the Ouija board thing took us down quite a rabbit hole. What's better than getting a small premium roast coffee and your favorite McMuffin? Getting a small premium roast coffee and your favorite McMuffin for only $4 plus tax. For a limited time, only at McDonald's. Exclude Egg BLT McMuffin. A participating McDonald's in Canada. Prices exclude delivery.

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. I have a two-star review by Crystal of A Spirit Halloween in Oakland. I have a two-star review by Crystal of A Spirit Halloween in Oakland. I wasn't too pleased with what selections they had. A lot of the caps were empty, which, oh, I forgot.

I don't understand what this sentence means. And I assume there's like a spelling error, but the first sentence doesn't really make sense, so let me know what you think. I wasn't too pleased with what selections they had a lot of the caps were empty which made really sit and bust a mr burns i'm sorry i don't know what that is i'm too sick to it's like a bunch of words that mean nothing so okay we'll move past that and then the next line in quotation says ketchup cats up sexy male lady devil a head doctor if you're into tramp costumes for halloween this is a spot what does ketchup have to do with this

sexy ketchup costume i love that that's a tramp costume ketchup devil ketchup sexy male lady maybe it's all combined oh maybe that makes sense that's pretty sexy very trampy you know if you're into tramp costumes for halloween this is the spot plus i bought some face paint for dia de los muertos and the woman kept pestering me to donate a dollar to Oakland Children's Hospital. I don't give a shit about those kids. That's pretty good. I don't give a shit about those kids. I contribute in my own way.

I make candy bags for the less fortunate whose parents are too cracked out or drunk to take them trick-or-treating. Anyways, she scoffed and continued with my purchases. End of review. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I do plenty of good shit for the world, okay? I mean, man, taking that as an opportunity to brag about how terrible you are, actually, or how terribly you view people.

Oh, my God. That first sentence, genuinely genuinely i could not figure out but uh i don't i don't know if we want to no at this point but it goes straight into ketchup comma cats up question mark i i thought the complaints about the donations would be something like hey you are a multi-million dollar company yeah like why why am i adding money to whatever make your own donation maybe donate more yourself or something or pay your workers blah blah but then to be like oh well i'm too good for this or i'm already like what um yeah uh i don't give a shit about those kids alexander i think the sentence you're looking for i don't give a shit about those kids, Alexander. I think the sentence you're looking for. I don't give a shit about the children at the Oakland Children's Hospital.

Cool. Cool. Good to know. Good to know. Not surprising. No. I've got one more. Okay.

But it's a longer one. So I thought it was okay that I only had these four. Absolutely. Here is my final one this is of a spirit halloween in phoenix arizona and it's a three-star review without yelp i have fuck all for a social life for this reason i spent halloween night curled up on the couch going through my netflix and hoping that some brave child would break the streak and be the first visitor to my house in four years and that way i could capture him in my capture his essence in my in my cauldron

eat him up like hansel and gretel oh my god sorry it's just such a like i'm just curled up waiting for a child to break this break the curse break the seal break the seal of the no-trigger-treaters. Oh my gosh. I'm the kind of person who can't let shit go. My dad once, 13 years ago, promised me a Lego pirate ship once we moved back to the States. Never receiving said ship and not being able to find one since has irreparably scarred me. And I knew that if I did not find a way to celebrate this Halloween, I would just kick myself in the ass for the next 364 days. So as a Halloween present to myself, I visited Spirit the day after Halloween on my way home from work. I searched the entire store and badgered the clerks and could

only find one costume in my size. Apparently, big girls don't celebrate Halloween. Well, at least that explains why I stayed home. Truthfully, I almost bought the sexy nurse costume, but they were out of the nurse purse and I didn't feel like supplementing my already unsuccessful shopping trip with a goose chase for an accessory nobody would even notice if I shoved it in their face. Hey, you want a drink, nurse? Yes, why don't you put it in my nurse purse? Uh, someone get her a beer or something.

Thankfully, I stumbled upon their stocking slash legging section, desperate to walk away with something. I got some candy-striped and black and white tights, a pair of fishnet pantyhose and fishnet knee-highs with little bows on them, all for less than $15. At Castle or Fascinations, any one of these items would be an easy 10 bucks. When I made it to the counter, the clerk commented on my taste in stockings and said that surprisingly, that's their biggest seller. Post Halloween, we exchanged makeup and nail tips.

Turns out we were both OPI whores as she rang me up before asking me if I'd like to donate some money to the children's hospital. I don't give a shit about those kids. Sure. were asking me if I'd like to donate some money to the children's hospital. I don't give a shit about those kids. Sure, with all the money that I just saved, I could afford to give some to the kids. She thanked me, I smiled, she smiled back. And then she blew an air horn right

in my fucking face. Well, shit, if this is how you treat everyone who donates to the hospital, no wonder they're hurting for money. That's fine. I'll get her back next year. I'll be back, bitch. And I'll be packing heat. In this case, a megaphone.

In my nurse purse. In my nurse purse, yes. Do you need anything? No, I'm okay. Just browsing. Thank you very much for asking. That's my megaphone voice yeah you know what i was trying thank you it's on like donkey kong spirit you better hope i get my shit together

next year and buy my costume ahead of time or it'll be payback time please please somebody take me out to a movie or some coffee end of review okay i love how self-aware this person is first of all that they're like i don't have a social life aside from yelp and i know it and you know it's fine but two i forgot until the very end that they said i don't let things go yeah and i'm genuinely afraid for the employees of this halloween store like genuinely so scared for their eardrums oh my gosh oh my gosh well the location has been reported closed so and this review was written in 2008 oh wow okay okay well oxen our time means nothing to this reviewer they let nothing go space yeah they do um wow what a what a tale what a tale they just wove for me thank you i mean you're welcome i mean yes this is a review of um also a spirit halloween in phoenix and this

is a three-star review by billy it's a halloween shop fully equipped with minimum was trying to find a costume for my son ended up being mispackaged for a size that was too big. Exchanging took about 20 minutes to punch a few keys into their computer. The next one I grabbed was mispackaged as well. So I just unpackaged it and threw it on the ground. Check the size before buying. End of review. What?

So I just tossed it all on the floor. So whenever you go to Spirit Halloween and see it's a mess, don't blame the employees, please. I mean, genuinely. Not that I would have before this. Have you seen those where people take the costumes out of the packaging and then just leave it everywhere? Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's true. That's what they do. And he's like, don't worry.

I just left it on the ground for someone else to deal with. Oh, my God. I saw people who would buy a packaged costume without checking it though and they'd get it home and missing parts or completely different costume inside well that someone said they bought one like i forget i forget where i was reading it what but they said they went across the country home and then opened it up and it was completely different. No, no. So they couldn't return it or anything. Oh, and the returns are, I mean, that's what the most complaints were about were returns and exchanges. Which makes sense because the location will disappear.

Right. Like within a month of you buying it. To be fair, if they accepted all returns, it's like, well, you just buy an expensive ass costume and then return it right after it's one time use true true um all right so i have uh two no two more and then a redemption so this is a one star view of a roseville california spirit halloween this is by bill so i know that this location is wrong the one I am actually referring to is located at the corner of Douglas and Sierra Gardens in Roseville. Avoid this store at all costs. I was there today, September 3rd, 2016, and I don't even know where to start. Yelp thought that was a website because of all the periods in between the words.

It's linked to something. I don't know what. The manager, I think she was a manager anyway, so totally off her rocker. To name a few items I witnessed, screaming manager, check. Employees who look afraid, check. All employees having no idea what was happening or how to do their jobs, Check. All employees having no idea what was happening or how to do their jobs? Check. Store opening later, way later, mind you, than posted? Check. Customers walking out of the store? Check. Corporate is coming? Check. The manager was screaming this information at her employees.

So there you have it. I don't know if the people who are above store level employees are abusive punk maniacs, but by the way everyone was acting, they sure are. Everyone there today OD'd on nightmare pills. Not took them. OD'd on them. And then they copy and pasted. Thank you for that clarification. And then they copy and pasted the avoid the store at all costs, which has a bunch of asterisks. I am a professional in the area.

With that being said it makes absolutely zero sense how this company is in operation just look at their employee dissatisfaction reviews via google spirit is owned by everyone's favorite mall chain slash oddball store spencer's gifts my advice would be to disconnect that phone cord from the wall now to avoid it from ruining all that is decent with the company's big brother spencer spirit halloween is a real life nightmare and then avoid this store at all costs oh my gosh so this local professional just won't give up yeah so you know you know this is something you have to take seriously uh i don't though i don't't either. And I like the implication that Spencer's gift is like such a holy, like untouchable.

I was going to ask if I understood that right. That they're saying that. They're like, don't let this store ruin. Spirit Halloween is a stain on Spencer's gifts. Yes, a stain. Exactly. On the reputation of all of our favorite Spencer's gifts. Who can do no wrong.

Big Brother Spencer. Who can do no wrong. Big Brother Spencer. Who can do no wrong. Big Brother Spencer. Big Brother is watching. And his name is Spencer's Gifts. And he might send you a dildo in the mail. So be careful. Oh, true.

But he's an oddball. So he'll do that. Just cute and fun. Okay. This is a one-star review by Mike. This one, I don't even know if it's funny, but too bad. I'm keeping it. I ordered my costume and only a piece of it was delivered.

But the weird dimensions of the pants aren't designed for humans. I have sewn many pants from scratch, and I can tell that the patterns used here just do not work for humans. End of review. What do they think they had then like a horse pattern for dogs i don't know the it was that was written on like trust pilot and the manager or whatever responded like corporate i guess maybe it was spencer responded and said like oh i call this number and we'll help you and i'm like i don't think this person can be helped because the problem that they've just outlined doesn't seem like you can fix it if the pants are really not made for human consumption only only one part of the costume arrived and it was the pants um only

one piece yeah yeah the pants and it wasn't even meant for human pants um and this person has sewn mike has sewn pants from scratch what a weird thing to say i have sewn pants from scratch many times and but there aren't that many other things that wear pants no um yeah i would say probably not. So what kind of... Who are they designed for? Extraterrestrials? I'm very confused here. Also...

I like this review, though. I am glad you brought it. Oh, good. And I feel like if you're sewing pants yourself from scratch all the time, why don't you make your own damn pants for your costume? Ooh, got him. That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean?

So true. So true. Yep. Okay, this is a redemption So true. Yep. Okay. This is a redemption zany. Redeem us. It doesn't exactly make. Well, we'll see.

This is by Laura. It's of a spirit Halloween in California. Five stars. Oh, and it was written October 2nd of 2022. That is recent. Five stars. of 2022 that is recent very five stars to see what whomever has thought up and made is better than disneyland i love the outrageous variety of costumes fit for the king's dinner or all his merry men what it's better than disneyland i are you are you tag yourself are you the king's dinner or

are you the merry man i'm one of the merry men i'm just a background character i'm a merry man for all sizes shapes and styles from victorian lady to batman wait no i'm batman i'm victorian lady from victoria do you think they have either of those costumes at Spencer's? Victorian Lady? And Batman? You mean Spirit Halloween? Yeah. You said Spencer's.

Oh, I'm sorry. I meant Spirit Halloween. Don't. Spencer's Jr. I'm so sorry. Yes. I don't. Victorian.

I don't know. i don't know i don't know it's probably called like victorian boner oh got him oh man give me one of those okay here we go i'm gonna batman boner got him got him king's dinner boner got him got him king's dinner boner merry men merry men boners I love the outrageous variety of costumes fit for the king's dinner or all his merry men

for all sizes shapes and styles from Victorian lady to Batman be a fairy princess or a pirate i mean hollywood end of review i don't know and i mean hollywood is in parentheses and with an exclamation point oh it almost seems like i mean hollywood am i right it's like no i don't think you are i don't know they might be they might be it is in california maybe maybe they're i don't think you are i don't know they might be they might be it is in california maybe maybe they're i don't know maybe they're at the walk of fame yeah a spirit halloween location i mean they have so many people dressed up as like batman and stuff yeah i don't know about

any victorian victorian lady boners i don't know either and uh if that does exist i might pop on by to um walk of fame just to see for myself some research research just for research purposes stuff absolutely i mean hollywood i mean hollywood you know yeah so that's that that's that this episode has been a blur it's really a shit show i kind of don't know what just happened. It comes out in like a few hours. My God, that was over 40 minutes. I was like, man, that must have been 15 minutes long. Oh, it was over 40.

My brain. I am not doing okay. I'll be honest. I'm glad it's not much longer since you're not feeling so hot. Yeah, I was starting to feel hot with all that boner talk. Gross. Okay, I gotta go. feel hot with all that boner talk. Gross. Okay, I gotta go. Gross.

I'm hanging up on you. I'm so glad I can just hang up and I don't have to look you in the face. You started it. You started it. I know. With Skeleboner. Thanks, everyone, for Chicago. Lots of love and all that stuff.

I hope to be back to normal next week, please. Please. Send good vibes. Send good vibes send good vibes love you all okay bye Bye.