Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 204: Reviews of Chuck E. Cheese

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

We would like to citizens arrest Charles Entertainment Cheese. -Love, Xandy and Xtine Get your hoodie!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beachy Sandy Water 2, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm Xteen. Hi, I'm Zandy. Why are you so sad today? I don't know.

Pep it up. It's been a week. I don't know. Pep it up. It's been a week. You know, if you don't jazz up your mood, I'm not going to be taking you to Leona's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Please don't. So I'm going to be moody the whole time because of that then, because I don't want to go after reading all these reviews.

Just kidding. We already did Leona's birthday. I was going to say, didn't it just happen? We could do a Thanksgiving party there. No, thank you. No? Do you think they have like a Thanksgiving pizza special or something? I hope so

Gross I would like to address something though This isn't why I'm in a mood This is just I know what you're addressing We just got another email about it Yeah yeah yeah Two seconds ago

We haven't even talked about it We have not Because we haven't really seen each other Yeah so In the eek episode i was reading the eek wikipedia page about eek alaska about eek alaska and on it it said that eek is derived from an eskimo word meaning two eyes so that's what i said and don't get me wrong my first gut instinct was to avoid this fucking word because i'm like that's i never heard this word in a good context but i was like okay that's what wikipedia said that i looked on the website at the university of alaska they have a uh alaska native language

center okay and i looked on there and they also use the word Eskimo sometimes. And so, and the problem was, I didn't know what to replace it with. Sure. Because I was like, all I know in my head, and I've learned so much in this past couple weeks because I keep looking things up about it, because I know the term Inuit, but Inuit is a very specific,

like you can't just throw in Inuit whenever someone is using the term Eskimo which does have a very not good history like a pejorative context it's definitely often used by the colonizers and it's definitely meant to be negative

so what I did was I emailed the Alaska Native Language Center before the last episode? I emailed them Alaska Native Language Center. Before the last episode? I emailed them, yeah, sometime like last week or something. Or like since that episode. Since the episode. Oh, I see.

Okay. Because I looked at their website. I saw they used it. Wikipedia was still using it. And then I was like, huh, okay, let me email them. Because I did get some messages. But some people were saying Inuit is a better word. And I'm like, but that doesn't make sense here.

So I don't know what else to use. Yeah. What's okay. Quote unquote funny. And I'd like, I'd like to take some credit for this. The Wikipedia page has been updated. Is updated? The Eek one.

Is what? Has been updated by somebody. Since then? Since the episode. No. And like, I don't know if it's because of our episode. Well, the timing would be wild. It would be, right? I assume one of of our episode well the timing would be wild it would

be right i assume one of our listeners is like it would be super unlucky on my part no i'm kidding but like i assume one of our listeners is educated enough to have the uh to be able to because every time i try to successfully successfully because every time i edit a wikipedia page i get a notification saying this edit is up for speedy deletion. And I cannot get the credits necessary to be able to update a Wikipedia. So I'm impressed. If one of our listeners did that because of the episode, that's great. And so now the term that's in there is Yupik. Y-U-P-I-K.

And the Yupik, it's an indigenous group of people in western, southwestern and south central Alaska and the Russian Far East. Because I believe Inuit is more northern Alaska and then much of Canada. While like within Alaska, there are different groups as well. I'm sure in Canada, too. There's so much there that I'm like, you know what? I didn't know much about this. In my mind, I was like, oh, yeah, Inuit is a better term to use. But it's not necessarily the catch all that.

Exactly. So that's great. So, I mean, thank you for the people who did reach out. I feel like at least the ones I read, correct me if I'm wrong, but the couple I read emails were,

were very kind. Oh yeah. Like not at all. No one was like, how dare you? Yeah. Like people were very kind and patient. And I feel like that's really, really appreciated because now we know better.

I will admit my first instinct was to get a little defensive because I'm like, man, I did research. I did look. Because you knew something. That's what it says. Like something's up. But like I saw that word multiple places. I don't know a better term. So I didn't know what else to do.

I saw that word multiple places. I don't know a better term, so I didn't know what else to do. And then now in hindsight, I'm like, okay, like, I could have just not used the word, like found a way to do it better and just in case and covered my butt. For what it's worth, like, now we've all learned, you know, that that's not the word to use. So I'm still hoping that the Alaska Native Language Center will get back to me just because I was on their website just reading through stuff. They're going to respond and say, oh, I don't know. When we just checked the Wikipedia page, it was totally updated.

And you're like, what the hell? You guys did this. No, I emailed them after it was updated. Like, I think it was soon after. Because I emailed them and I was going to quote the Wikipedia article. And that's why I ended up back on there. Folks, did one of you change it? No, genuinely, because that would make me so happy if like you heard our episode and

we're like, wow, there's an outdated wiki up there. I checked again today and it's still there. So it's someone who was successfully edited it. That's great. Well, you know what it reminds me of, which like maybe this is I feel like it's a similar thing. And I know some people are probably like, God, get on with the episode. But words are important.

Language matters. And there's, for example, the term homeless, quote unquote, is like a term that I try not to use anymore. And use either like unhoused or, you know, houseless or words that just make the connotation has just damaging consequences sometimes using. And for us, we have a platform. Yes, exactly. We don't. That's not something that we you know we try not to take for granted and we try to acknowledge that yeah yeah exactly even if like

i don't know and i'm not going to yell at you if you're like someone one of your listeners talking to me and uses a term that's not 100 but like for us we have a platform yeah i feel like it's a little bit of more of an obligation to do better with things like that. And thank you to you all for messaging me and emailing me and educating us. Yeah, I need it. I didn't catch it either. So, you know, honestly. I did when I used it, which is why I shouldn't have used it at all.

But I was like, this doesn't feel right. But I'm like, I can't. I don't know anything else. We all know what gods of Wikipedia say, it's correct. And I can always be like, I was just reading the word. No, I know. Which is not a fair. No, but you're right. I mean, it teaches all of us to be more conscientious.

Yeah. And I learned a lot by doing that. Yeah. Even I did. I just sat there and read the emails and then marked them unread. So you saw. I was like, Oh, wow. But no, I, I appreciate learning and growing, growing.

We're growing together. And now we're going to talk. Now we're going to devolve back to an infantile state and discuss Chuck E. Cheese. Do you know what Chuck E. Cheese, like what his full name is? Yeah. His name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. as far as I can recall.

Yes, that's all. And I do know that only because on Mabimbam, they do refer to him as such. Oh, they do? Good. Yeah, so I feel like that's... He streams on Twitch sometimes. The Mouse? Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. Here's the problem. What? I have so many reviews. That's fine. I have, like, three in one email, so. Okay, okay. Oh, I didn't even, this is probably the first time I haven't even checked the email.

I didn't go through them because I know you like to. I'm sorry. I only have one from Tracy, aka Flanfo. I went down a rabbit hole. Blaze was helping me. I took an edible. When? When I did the research.

Okay. Not now. You gotta be clear. You do this every time and I'm like. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And it's the legal kind in kentucky oh yep because it has uh it has i don't fucking know what it has but it's it's legal it's legal don't worry it is even though well it should all be legal but i do live in a state where recreational marijuana is not legal. Same. These are, or medicinal, by the way.

Oh, not same. To add to the list. But yeah, I took, to help me fall asleep last night, and then I couldn't sleep still, because nothing can get me to sleep, help. And so instead, I did my research, and oh, I was having a good time. Oh, good. I'm glad. I'm nervous, but why don't you go first then?

Okay, good, because I don't really recall what I did. Do we need to explain what Charles Entertainment Cheese is? No, I think it speaks for itself. Yes. Should I read a... I know Wiki hasn't done this right the last couple weeks, but should I read the Wiki? Read the Wiki. Okay.

Chuck E. That's the middleiki. Okay. Chuck E. That's the middle initial. Okay. No one got that right. Okay. Not no one, but most of the reviews I read. No one knows how to spell that. No one knows how to spell Chucky.

Don't you understand? And half the people said Chunky Cheese. Chunky Cheese. I didn't know. I didn't see that. I saw so many Chunky Cheeses and I just got disgusted and went away. I didn't even see Chunky Cheese. Gross.

Chucky Cheese. Okay. Chuck E. Cheese, okay, this is the first time reading of this, formerly known as Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theater. Were we aware? I didn't know that. Comma, Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza and simply Chuck E. Cheese's

is an American family entertainment center and pizza restaurant chain founded in 1977 by Atari's co-founder. Oh, Nolan Bushnell. I didn't know that. I feel like I knew that. I've read that on Reddit or something. Headquartered in Irving, Texas, each location features arcade games, amusement rides and character stage shows, which, by the way, have like these creepy animatronic.

Except not anymore. Not anymore. There's a lot of complaints about that yeah but um i remember there was a time you and i went to a chucky cheese entertainment whatever the hell center and um you were so afraid of the mouse understandably i hid under the table you hid under the table so scared but it like came over to like try and talk to you and you were like so afraid. And I was like, leave him alone. Yeah, in hindsight, it was like a 19 year old kid probably. Just like fucking around.

Just trying to get me to cry. Just trying to be, maybe even just trying to be friendly. I don't know. We were at some party. No, that mouse was sinister. That mouse had bad intentions. Anyway, basically it had former main mainstays it says included ball pits crawl tubes animatronic shows um and the mascot is a is a guy a mouse named chuck e cheese um

after filing for bankruptcy in 1984 it was i thought so how many times has it been bankrupt because i feel like it was it was bankrupt more recently as well. And it was bought by a competitor called Showbiz Pizza Place. Oh, Showbiz Pizza. I know about that. No way. Because there's a guy on TikTok who works at one. No way.

Yeah. They have animatronics too. Oh, boy. Anyway, basically, it's a classic 90. Okay, they did in 2020, June. That's how long they lasted under COVID. Wow. Until June.

COVID put such a strain on them that in June 2020, they filed for bankruptcy again within 47 states and 16 countries. Damn. I didn't even know they were in that many countries. I didn't either. So why are we explaining it? Everyone in the world didn't. Everyone knows. If you're not in a country that has Chuck E. Cheese, I didn't either. So why are we explaining it? Everyone in the world that... Everyone knows.

If you're not in a country that has Chuck E. Cheese, I don't care about you. You basically play games. You basically play games with tokens. Now they have cards. But you play games and win tickets and get prizes. It's like an arcade. And it's very children-oriented.

It's not like a Dave & Buster's that has a wide range it's very kid kid oriented and a lot of it was a very cliche 90s place to have a birthday party and go to a birthday party i've been to one me too i watched you hide under a table yeah so here's a review of the chucky cheese in florence kentucky nice yeah this is the closest one to me, which must still be open because these reviews are within the last couple of months. And this is a one-star review by Danielle, a local guide.

Disappointed, the pizza doesn't taste the same and the prices are crazy high. I can't figure out why everything is so expensive. For the time you get on a card, the price, then for food, no one working the door. Instead, there was a little girl up there stamping her siblings' hands with the stamp and then looking at it with a flashlight. And then no one was checking to make sure the stamps matched when people were leaving. End of review.

What? Do you know about these stamps? No. Oh, God, Oxenworth. It's pretty terrible. I didn't know at the time that I read this because I was like, oh, that's hilarious. Instead of any employees, it's just a little girl stamping all her siblings. Well, it turns out when you go in with a family, everyone in the family gets the same stamp.

Oh. And every family has like a different design so that when parents are leaving, they match to make sure you're going with your own kid and not taking another i know and so a lot of the complaints were like they weren't even checking to make sure the stamps matched the kids and the grown i was like what is it i thought this person was like i'm like what is this narc doing complaint because i didn't know what they were for i assumed it was first and i was like oh that's hilarious and then later i quickly learned that um the stamps are meant to match children with their parents. Yeah, this is hilarious, Garcia.

Yeah, I know. Isn't it comical? Especially when you're high, I bet. Yeah, I bet it was so funny. I was like, that's funny. She's just stamping. What's it so harmless? And then I later found out, uh-oh.

Yeah, and then even as you're explaining it, I thought, oh, okay. Different families have different stamps because they buy different packages, party packages. So you don't give the wrong kids the wrong stuff. Oh, dear God. A lot of the reviews were like, they have to stamp to match the children and their parents.

Like, hello, isn't that enough of a red flag not to go here? And I was like, well, at least they're. That's a fair point. Theoretically doing their due diligence,

but it sounds like maybe it's not working. Maybe not. Anyway, your turn. Oh my God. It's dark. I'm sorry. So I have an email from Flanfo, a.k.a. Tracy, and Sadberry, a.k.a. Adam. We just ate some of their tomatillo.

Yes, that was tasty, huh? Yes. So apparently, Sadberry brought Flanpho's attention to something that was kind of, was like a pre-Chucky Cheese. Huh? Really? An inspired Chuck E. Cheese. Before 1977? Yes. Oh my. So it's something that maybe other people are aware of, but I was not aware of.

There was a bunch of chains, a a vast this is how tracy puts it there was a vast network of restaurants featuring an alliterative pairing of two things everybody knows and love pizza and pipes huh as in live pipe organ music no so like theater organs um the kind that's like in a baseball stadium. Or like a cathedral? No, not to be confused with church organs, which are constructed in a completely different way. Theater organs are designed to be able to replicate an entire orchestra's worth of instruments through their various attachments. That's just organ facts. Hang on my fucking face. The flat phone just knows exactly what you're going to say.

It's like shutting it down. Before Christine can even try to instill her Catholic background. Apparently at the height of the fad, there were nearly 150 restaurants featuring pizza and pipes. Most of them located in the West and Midwest. Do you know that I've heard of this, but I always thought it was, this is probably even stupider, but I always thought it meant pizza and pipes like that you crawl through like to playground.'ve heard of that phrase i didn't know it was like an actual business that's probably what i would think but i always thought it was like oh you crawl through all the tube slides like in mario and like in chucky cheese i thought maybe that's what i meant uh so here is the first

one uh it's a review of the now closed cap'n's galley pizza and pipes of redwood city california and this is quite possibly the very location which inspired the founder of chucky cheese and also of atari wow nolan bushnell so here's a review is it wait does this still exist no this one is does not i think some do though so is this like from this isn't from like the 70s like this is like a more recent like the reviews are from like 2012 oh okay so it still existed for a long time okay yeah so got it here's a review you want star walking into this place is like walking through the cancer ward at a children's hospital it's depressing and leaves you wondering how god could let such a bad thing happen to mankind. Oh my God. And the pipe organ music.

I stand by my church statement. The depressing pipe organ. It's like playing. Oh, it's terrible. In minor key. No. That's harsh. That's really.

And I love that Nolan Bushnell was like, this. This is the future. This is the future this is the future i've been inspired okay so this is a review i feel like it's a lot to explain the shane dawson pizza theory oh gosh yes but like just so you know there was this kind of trend where shane dawson the youtuber who has since been disgraced uh he put out a theory that he was disgraced that but he was somehow somehow getting away with everything yeah anyway yes he put out a theory that the pizza by the way which is like infamous chunky cheese pizza has a very specific taste like i can still taste it i don't think i've had it since i was a kid but it has like sweet tomato sauce and it's kind of like really thin cardboardy so his theory

was that oh the slices of pizza that they serve say at a birthday party at a children's birthday party they take the slice the uneaten slices from other people's trays and kind of mush them together to make a complete pizza yeah that was his theory yeah so this is a one-star review and by abby and it references this it's from three years ago this is in all capital letters this location does in fact take leftover pieces of pizza from people's trays to make their pizzas aka the shane dawson theory After hearing the theory of Shane Dawson's months ago, I didn't think too much into it at first. Then going through my iPhone memories

from my daughter's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's last year, I noticed that in every photo that our four pizzas were all shaped odd and not perfectly round as crust would be. Disgusting. And here's a response from the owner. Abby, our pizza is handmade,

which means it won't always win a beauty contest, but it's still a taste test champ. Love, Chuck E. Cheese. Love, Chuck E. Cheese. It doesn't say love. It has the dash. I don't know why I said love. Oh my God, what?

I made it so much creepier. I was like, that's so funny. Because I was going to say from Chuck E. Cheese. i said love oh my god what i made it so much creepier i was like that's so funny i was gonna say from the best part sincerely sincerely i don't know dash regards regards charles charles entertainment cheese comma jd yeah i honestly when i kept seeing so at the time you know i see i see, I remember that being a thing. And a lot of people were just saying, yeah, they just suck at making pizza. Like it's not. Like it's just wonky looking. It's just funky looking pizza.

And also when they cut it, because they're like, look how, look how weird this slice is. It's like, yeah, because they're shitty. Because it's a bunch of teenagers going back. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh with the pizza cutter. They're not like, they have to do other things. They're not just like pizza professionals yeah um and also like i assume that oh and i think someone who was an employee like

made a video about it saying like this is the most bullshit theory ever like why would we even bother like yeah i remember being like it would be more complicated for us to take all the pieces and try to formulate a circle than to just keep making shitty cheap pizza and like just cutting it into random wonky slices anyway i just love the like based how long apparently it takes for pizza to be made here because i saw so many complaints about how long it's like yeah um i just love like it won't win a beauty contest but it's still pretty good i like when i I thought they said love Chuck E. Cheese. Love Chuck E. Cheese.

I said that and I was like, that's not what it says. That's so weird. But I think in my head when someone signs off, I just add that word to make it more, you know, just like emotionally available. I want him to be emotionally available. I'm going to move on. Okay. This is another review of Captain's Galley Pizza and Pipes. I'm glad I did this.

I love this predecessor. Exactly, because you have so many Chuck E. Cheese reviews. So I'm glad I have this from Flan and Poe. I also have, interestingly, I'll tell you later, but I also have like a post Chuck E. Cheese. You'll see. But sort of like the after. Five Nights at Freddy's or something or something no okay um i don't know what that is but no no we're not going over that again okay okay uh here's a review of that same

place one star we went here looking for foosball as it's listed on the foosball pro website oh and found the place where sadness took a shit on loneliness. This place was not only empty, but the barkeep didn't speak English. And every time we asked if they had foosball, making the familiar foosball shot gesture with our hands, she would only say, okay, and ask us if we wanted beer. Even the allure of the drinkability of Bud Light could not keep us here. Sad. End of review. We'd make the international.

What does that mean? What, like this? Like, like. Like I'm riding a motorcycle? Yeah, I don't know. What? I don't think you're doing foosball right if you're doing it like a motorcycle. How do you do it? Well, when you're facing the table.

Sure, sure. That would be like you on the ground. Yeah, but I feel like if you're like, oh, foosball. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what it looks like. i don't know i don't know what it looks like i don't know i see exactly i like that the guy's response is okay want some beer they're asking a question he's like okay

do you want some bud light oh god this is another review of the Florence Chuck E. Cheese one star by Verna I attended my niece's birthday party last night November 9th 2018 she was so excited to have her party here and my sister put a lot of time into this and also a lot of money my My niece had a blast, which is what matters. However, this place sucked. The poor young man who was the party host was the only one who tried to make this an enjoyable experience. I was told that since he had two or three bad party reviews, that he was being demoted from party host. Wake up, Chuck E. Cheese, you dirty rat!

I'm sure that you must realize that it wasn't the young man's fault. You are overpriced. Food was nasty. Service was extremely slow. That poor young man was pulled in 15 directions the whole party. His job shouldn't be on the line. It should be management's. Also, the girl at the counter needs not only some training, but an attitude check. She should have been the one reprimanded. I was going to get the salad bar. I looked at it and the lettuce was wet, wilted and brown all around the edges. I walked to the counter to speak to the girl about it. I said, and I quote, I really want the salad bar, but the lettuce looks crappy.

Can you change it? She says that will be $8 and some change. I said I wasn't ordering. I was asking a question. She snapped. I will have8 and some change. I said, I wasn't ordering. I was asking a question. She snapped, I will have to look at it. I said, okay, paid. I thought, wow, $10 won't even allow me to get a kid's drink. What a ripoff.

I asked if they still had the one trip salad bar. She said, no. So I took my receipt and stepped over to the bar. She looked at the dead lettuce and walked away, was gone about two to three minutes and came back with two red tubs. No problem. She looked at the dead lettuce and walked away was gone about two to three minutes and came back with two red tubs no problem she looked at the register and seen that there was a customer so she walked away took her order then the next person's order while playing on her personal phone

it wasn't the customer's phone as i first thought i thought maybe she was scanning a coupon nope it was her phone she was She was handing over her Snapcode. Why would she be playing on her customers' phone? She was helping them beat the next Candy Crush level. It wasn't the customer's phone as I first thought. Nope, it was her phone. She looked over at me two to three times in this 12-minute time frame. I'm still not upset. Had me fooled, but okay.

She walks back over to the bar, takes the lid off the lettuce. I said, hon, I need a plate. You didn't give me one yet. She says, I need to see your receipt with an attitude. I said, what? You just rang me up and I've been waiting 12 minutes for you to finally put some good lettuce in here and you asked me for a receipt? I said, I'm getting a manager. I went to the back and the young man party host jumped in and asked what was wrong i explained it to him he said come on i will

get you a plate i said thank you and walked up front he gave me a plate i showed him the receipt he asked if there was anything else he could do i said yes give me a kid's cup for my inconvenience and her in consideration he did and she jumped over toward him and said, screaming, don't give her a cup. She didn't pay for it. I told her, she need to shut your mouth. Oh my God. She screamed, I'm not putting up with this.

I said, neither am I. She should have been removed or sent home or retrained. But you want to belittle the party host? I wish I had a good job to give that young man i give you a one end of review jesus i was reading this last night like what the fuck is going on at the salad bar yeah i will say a lot of people complained about warm lettuce warm oh yeah at the salad this is the only salad bar review i found i found so many complaining about how gross the salad bars were i guess if you're going to a salad what do

you that's like i know they should have good salad don't get me wrong i'm not saying like oh good for them to have shitty salad but like also there's an element of you that has to understand as the adult like the salad's not the priority for them for your niece's birthday party like it's not this this whole place none of it is for you if you can find some lettuce that is crispy and great good if not chalk it up to the fact that you're eating at a chuck e cheese salad bar which is not shameful at all but like don't be so mean about it as if like that's a thing and i will also say i don't be so mean about it. That's the thing. And I will also say, I don't think it was this young woman's fault that they had shitty will to.

Exactly. I don't think she is the one in charge of how deliciously fresh all the lettuce. Exactly. I don't know. I love that. The guy's like, wow,

I'm getting demoted. And she's like, how dare they? You're the only good employee around here. And he's like, I had three terrible party experiences. It's like, hmm.

And you don't think maybe that's why he's motivated to do a good job today? I guess not. My next one is of the Oregon Piper Pizza Palace. Is this the same thing? It's the same type of restaurant. So they're all, are they owned by the? No, this was just a fad. Seriously, so it was different corporations.

And you could like request music that the organist would play. So it was like a howl at the moon dueling piano bar, but like. I don't know what that is, but yeah. Sure, I know what a dueling piano bar is. I don't know why we're howling at the moon. Why wouldn't we be? I'm not going to answer that, but I have answers to it for another episode. Go ahead.

Okay. Here's a one-star review. Stopped a few weeks ago with my family and was underwhelmed. Slow service and food was average at best. Place seemed old and dirty. underwhelmed. Slow service and food was average at best. Place seemed old and dirty. Only positive is I didn't see the old owner who always creeped

me out as a kid when we went there. I think his name was Jerry or Gary. He reminded me of that creepy villain from the Smurfs with the cat, but played organ. Yikes. It's even worse. Imagine adding an organ to this guy.

The Smurfs head writer was like, that's too far. We got to cut the organ out. It's too traumatizing. Not sure why I stopped by, but definitely reminded me of my childhood. But now it is like a dirty Chuck E. Cheese. Blah. End of review. That was like just three years ago.

That's alarming to me. I feel like it's alarming only because I feel like I should know more about i know right god because flavors said midwest to west but like it's i mean wisconsin we had california so yeah maybe it just wasn't an ohio thing it must not have been i mean we definitely just not in cincinnati i was gonna say it could just be a local not interested in our local exactly too bad too bad because I feel like we would be the family that ended up at an organ pipe restaurant. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement?

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All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack. Only at Kudo. Conditions apply. Okay, let's see. Okay, this is what I meant when I was saying I have the post. Oh, yes.

Yeah, this is a review of Pasquale's Pizza. Do you know about this? What? Pasquale's Pizza. Not Pascal? Nope. It's Pasquale. It's Pasquale.

Pasquale? Uh-huh. How do you spell that? Do you really want to know? Is it P-A-S-Q-U-A-L-E? It's P-A-S-Q-U-A-L-L-Y. Pasquale? I told you.

This was Blaze's suggestion last night, and this is where my laughing fit really began, because he said, you should look at Pasquale's, he said, Pasquale's pizza. And I said, oh, Pasquale's pizza. And he goes, yeah, remember there was like this big, I don't know, it was more just like a meme, I guess, or something. But it was kind of trending for a minute because on DoorDash, they started selling, you know how they have those ghost kitchens? Yes, yes. So there was one called Pasquale's Pizza. It was Chuck E. Cheese.

Oh, they were selling Chuck E. Cheese's pizza on doordash under a different name and then a fake address like and but if you called the phone number a chucky cheese manager or employee would answer fascinating yeah and so this became like kind of a thing where people were ordering pizza on doordash or it was fucking chucky cheese and they were like this is shitty pizza what is this and it turns out it was chucky cheese pizza like literally from their kitchen at the arcade um and so i of course blaze was like oh yeah google pasquale's pizza so i did and then it was like did you mean pasquale's and blaze was like that certainly can't be how they spell it and i clicked it it's like legitimately they spell it A-L-L-Y. Pasquale's.

Is that a character from Chuck E. Cheese? It sure is. It is? I'm pretty positive. It has to be, right? Yeah. There has to be some sort of connection. Pasquale Chuck E. Cheese.

I'm like pretty sure it's the Italian chef guy. And so that's kind of like. Okay. Oh, yeah. It's not creepy at all. Let me send you a photo. I know what he looks like. Oh, sure. Okay. Well, I'm going to send you a photo of like a trio of a trio of these folks yeah see

paper magazine chucky cheese now delivering on grubhub as pasquale's pizza and wings so like you basically i know this trio yeah you basically don't realize until well you don't realize until it's too late it's too late that Until it's too late. That you're eating Chuck E. Cheese pizza. Yeah. And so I actually Googled this because Blaze came into bed and he was like heading to sleep. And he's like, what are you doing? And he looked over and I had like 18 Yelp tabs open. And of course, it was all these pictures of Chuck E. Cheese.

He's like, you got to search Pasquale's. And then we spent the next 10 minutes being like, how do you spell that? Anyway, so these are the first reviews I looked up, but I thought I would save them for the end to kind of round out the story. You have pipe organs. I have Pasquale's. So this is a negative review. Do not recommend on Facebook. And this is by Thomas.

It comes with a photo. So I'll send you that afterward. Actually, you know what? I'm going to send you this. You're sending it first yeah great it's just i feel like it really sets the tone do you know what i'm saying yeah okay here it is wow so frightening talented not only does this guy make pizza he plays the drums he does and look behind him it says pasquale's amateur hour in graffiti, which I don't know quite what they're saying,

if that's about the music or the pizza. But maybe it was just someone's just insulting Pasquale with graffiti. It's fucking rude. Graffiti his stage. Oh, amateur hour. In front of my stage. All right. One star by Thomas.

We were defrauded by the scam Chuckucky cheese is running known as pasquale's they pass off their poor excuse for pizza as a legitimate pizza shop on all the delivery apps what arrives at your door i wouldn't feed to my stray animals i've included an image of pasquale although i'm quite sure he has little to do with this actual atrocity. Buyer beware. I've included his image. Wanted. Wanted? Yeah. A wanted poster. It's an animatronic playing drums.

He's like, not dead or alive. Make sure you bring him back alive, because I'm not positive he's actually... He might be innocent. His name might just be used and abused. Of this atrocity. This creepy mustache is like the size of his entire head. It's all terrible. It's all terrible.

Oh my gosh. Anyway, so that's what happens when you search for Pas... But you know the weirdest part? There's actually a restaurant... Where was it? In a town called Pasquale's but like a totally separate entity where they actually spelled it weird and i was like oh no oh no they don't know what they're doing there that's so weird bound to get some bad press i'm gonna check out the

graffiti there um so i'm done with the uh fly info email but i will like i would like to bring up a place that uh apparently was very positive called ye old pizza joint um in hayward california and it was the very first pizza place with an organ um why was there added in 1962 if you would ask me like how many were worth in Oregon I probably would have said zero but I love to know that there was a first that means there were so many but the Yelp page is still up

and so there were so many five star reviews about this place and talking about how great it was so it was very positive but also half of them were talking about how they think the owners burned it down on purpose so it was like all these like weird random like this place was so great i have so many great memories like i don't know i don't know if the owners actually

burned it down on purpose but i don't get why they wouldn't reopen it later because everyone loved it for the insurance money yeah i don't know i i'm not i don't have a dog in this fight i just i bet pasquale was involved though i just of course he was involved look at his dead eyes so scary um but i'm i i will move on now to uh an actual chucky cheese review is that okay finally okay is this one you found or what is one i found this is one star written by pirate mike do you know which one it is uh chuck e cheese in orlando florida oh yeah i'm ready what no no because i awkwardly texted sandy like midnight and was like please don't use florence kentucky uh for your searches because I accidentally read every single Florence, Kentucky.

I wasn't even planning on it. No, I know. But it was like on Google Maps. So I was like, shit, I did the closest one to us. So I didn't know if you found another one like nearby. Okay. Here's a one star review. I can't really write an honest review because I haven't been here in my life.

I like the rat. He makes good music and the pizza looks good. Don't take my word for it. I don't live in in my life. I like the rat. He makes good music. And the pizza looks good. Don't take my word for it. I don't live in Florida. End of review. What are you doing? I don't know. Get a hobby.

I don't know. Learn to play the pipe organ. Get out of here. And why one star? And why one... I didn't even think of that. Why? I don't know.

I feel like this... I feel like this, I feel like I would understand it more and I say more with like quite a bit of hesitance. I would understand it more if somehow you got like points towards something if you reviewed places

and you were like, oh, like for a while, I know I've mentioned this before, I wrote reviews of Cincinnati neighborhoods and I got paid like $12 or $14 an hour at the time and this was probably over 10 years ago definitely over 10 years ago and I was making like bank because I was just sitting at home and writing reviews of like local Cincinnati neighborhoods for like 12 bucks an hour all summer and I mean there aren't that

many local Cincinnatiincinnati neighborhoods but i was like writing reviews of places for a job and i was like okay well even if i don't really know anything about this neighborhood i'm just gonna like google it drive through it yeah blah blah blah so i understand if there's like an incentive but like what you don't even live in the state people have fun doing random shit i bet this person's just being like a weirdo and on google maps for fun just likes to throw it at least it's quick and short like it wasn't a huge essay about this it was but how could it be an essay there's nothing to say they've never been there like if it were an essay i'd be like what do you even have to possibly say

about this place you've never been you've never even been to florida you're so mad you're so mad you live in indiana stop it okay um this is one another one from facebook about pasquale's pizza and wings oh good and i don't know if it's funny i thought it was funny you say this now every time i still think it's funny but i remember screenshotting it and going just give it like the caveat that like maybe it won't come across as funny even though i thought it was so we'll see this is our listeners love when we give caveats i know they love it the best they wish we gave one every couple seconds we basically wait we do hang on we actually do this is a one-star review by gary it's a it's actually not a one--star, but it does not recommend Pasquale's Pizza and Wings.

Okay. Here we go. Pizza is hard as cardboard, and they somehow mistook the cheesy bread I ordered for boneless. I would never recommend this place. Excuse me? Ew. I'm sorry. I read this last night and was like,

my cheesy bread was boneless. No! I thought it was hilarious. Anyway, and then they wrote. That's surprising. It was. And they wrote, I'm so sorry. We're so sorry to hear about your disappointing experience.

We will share your feedback with our internal team. We will add bones to the cheesy bread. Add bones to the cheesy bread. Anyway. Bone in cheesy bread. Gross. I did see a lot of complaints about the wings, which I didn't even know they had. Well, I know.

And the Pasquale's is called Pasquale's Pizza and Wings. So it must just be like both. I didn't know they had wings either. Yeah. And someone took a picture and was like like what species of bird is this from it must be a new one because this is not oh no it was gross oh gross oh gross okay i've got a one-star review of uh chucky g's in orlando florida this is by zelda i gave them a one star because my daughter had fun on the games and the manager did refund us for the three buffets.

The salad bar was a tiny amount of warm lettuce and three salad dressing options. We had to ask four times and we waited one hour for pizza to be put out on the buffet. They had one half-eaten hard pork pizza. Finally, the pizza came out. It tasted like dog treats and cardboard. Was the cheese plastic? We will never know. My stomach feels like I ate a melted Barbie doll. I think you know. I don't think you need anyone to tell you. Oh, wait. What a very horribly specific sentence.

I know. I know. It's gross. The mouse barely interacts with the kids. The employees looked half-stoned and didn't care about the job. I don't play in them. I'd need a drink or two before I clocked into a place with such crappy, loud, dirty conditions also. I peeked into the kitchen and it looked nasty. Next time we will eat pizza at CeCe's and then go to Chuck E. Cheese for the games. End of review. Okay.

I saw so many people who were like, next time we're eating at Cece's specifically. I saw that too. I saw a lot like, this place makes Cece's look good. It's almost like The X where it's like, man, I never thought I'd miss my ex. Because people were like, man, I sat there thinking to myself, I wish we were at Cece's. I mean, to be fair, you don't go to chucky cheese i hopefully hopefully you're not going to chucky cheese for the pizza well ever i know some people have yeah but i disagree with you but you were wrong and i think you shouldn't do that oh boy disturbing um i have

another review of pasquale's pizza and wings and this is by carlos and i want to add that this is um carlos's facebook photo of course i went and looked at it and uh he has a shirt that reminds me a lot i'll show it to you but it reminds me a lot of um pasquale no maybe actually i could see pasquale wearing something really aggressive like this but basically it reminds me of all the blankets that i find for our patreon bonus what does that say oh i'll tell you don't you worry uh where it has like so many words and you just wonder how they could fit all of that on one t-shirt so this is what the shirt says i am a grumpy veteran i served i sacrificed i don't regret oh by the way every

couple words is it for a font of course very important to note i served i sacrificed i don't regret i am not a hero not a legend my oath of enlistment has no expiration date and then a humongous eagle with two guns that are crossing over each other each draped with an american flag i have anger issues what that's the next line so you just kind of skip over the eagle i have anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people i am proud to be a veteran if this offends you i don't care okay so that's the um shirt that he's wearing and and i will just say that just came up kind of when his review showed up so i was like whoa i feel like it's relevant you know i mean i mean yes so yes so carlos does not recommend pasquale's pizza and wings

wanted to try something different hope the wings taste better than the pizza ordered two medium pizzas and cheesy bread spent nearly 60 and this is by far the worst pizza i have ever eaten 7-11 pizza tastes better never again and then the top comment is by a woman named laura who wrote well it is chucky cheese pizza and then he responded at laura thanks for telling us that now end of review so clearly this was not um something he knew even until even until afterward yeah it's really sad that's the thing yeah when they when they hide it honestly i've gotten like better at finding those but it is like i was just in la and i was like looking for just a bagel place or something in the morning. And the number of breakfast places they have as those ghost kitchens that are like, especially in L.A., they have so many.

It's like bitchin' eggs. And then you click on it. It's like not real or like a bagel hero. Like it's all fake. It's so creepy. It is weird. What's the Hooters one? There's a Hooters one, too.

And I love that, like, the only ones that they fully rename are, like, the ones that people probably wouldn't order. That come with, like, already some sort of stigma. Like, you shouldn't be ordering from them. Or you feel like you shouldn't be ordering from them. Or people probably wouldn't if they knew. Yeah. Anyway, it does feel a little bit like a scam, as they said earlier. Anyway, I don't know.

Yeah. New York has those. And some of them, though, are like vegan. Oh, I bet New York has a bunch. It's great. It's like just vegan food hall or something. There actually is like a vegan food hall place where you go and they have a screen. You know I love a screen.

You can flip through all the different restaurants and order and it's just the whole warehouse is just like kitchens i assume i don't know you don't go back there you just go in the waiting area nobody knows nobody knows but yeah you walk in you order whatever you want on the screen and then they bring it to you there and then you like that there's no like seating there you just like take it home i like that i like that it was really cool oh the hooters one i found it what is it hooties bait and tackle what i'm not kidding that's what they call it hooties bait and tackle it sounds like hooters and bubba gumps yep had a had a ghost child a ghost child yes yeah the door the r door has... Oh, my God. Okay, apparently Bucca di Beppo has one called Wingtown.

What? Denny's has The Burger Place. Ah, yes. Fazoli's has Wingville. Weird. It doesn't make any sense. Is it just to sell a specific menu item? And Outback Steakhouse has Tender Shack.

Yeah, so I guess it's if you want chicken chicken tenders yeah and you don't think oh i want chicken tenders i'll get them from outback exactly i mean it makes sense and then chili's has it's just wings and then ruby tuesday is whoa boa whoa boa what so this is a very so whenever you want a boa or whatever you want a fried boa and you're like i would love i don't normally go to what is it tgi fridays for my boa boa no i like to shop local you know local boa boa okay i have uh one more this is a one-star review of the chucky cheese on this is a chucky cheese in queens actually in queens new york oh so one-star review of the Chuck E. Cheese on... This is at Chuck E. Cheese in Queens, actually. Queens, New York. Oh. So one-star review.

Do not eat or play here. Not only did they ruin my son's birthday party, I think they tampered with all of the food I ordered for the party because of all the complaining I did about our worst birthday party experience ever. My entire

party who attended on 4-10-22 is now violently sick right now with food poisoning and everyone ate here. They're all having to go to the hospital. Stay away from this location. Seriously, something is wrong. If everyone is getting sick like this, they likely did this on purpose. These people are horrible. I have kids violently ill and now I have to contact the health department and call 311. This is insane. I should have paid $0 and they should pay all of these medical bills. I'm baffled.

This is what I paid them and look at my food sales. Everyone is literally so sick right now. Whoa. They spent... is there a photo or something yeah they they have uh receipt photos they spent 652 dollars at turkey cheese holy shit 342 dollars in food i'm googling what is 311 yeah i don't know is that like the health thing like you have to you report a citizen's hotline wow i would like the citizen's arrest chuck entertainment charles entertainment cheese um alexander um yeah yikes okay but to be okay devil's advocate i don't think how could they do that on purpose?

Like, what are they doing? Like, I do believe they got food poisoning from this place, but I don't understand how the employees would intentionally give you food poisoning. Yeah. I don't know. I guess they could undercook the food. Yeah, they could have done things that they aren't supposed to do. But I feel like even if you spit in people's food...

Yeah, no. The accusations specifically of tampering the food to make you sick... It would take a lot to make everybody in your party... Unless you specifically had a batch of E. coli and you sprinkled it on the pizza. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you... I don't know. I feel feel bad i don't want them to get sick three but they spent so much money six hundred dollars i can't imagine how much that cost to have a party there it was i don't know how many people

were at this party but yeah i only have one child and i'm already like holy crap that's expensive like xl rate wings each order of xl wings is 49 dollars woof that's a. Like XL wings, each order of XL wings is $49. Woof! That's a lot of money! And then like large wings, $39. Then french fries, $4 at $3.99. Sauced meatballs, $4 at $16.99. Four meatballs?

Yeah, they got sauced meatballs four four orders four orders of sauced meatballs that's what made them sick for 68 dollars I don't even know what that is I promise you that's what made them sick

and then like the whole sauced meatballs gross that's what made them sick there's not even a question in my mind they got the stuffed crust pizza that'll do it too oh god but yeah no it's

the party itself like the party thing is 146 dollars but yeah the food was 342 holy shit did they say how many people um i don't think so i'm just like planning for my future i know you're like i feel like i need to i don't know make make a college fund for my future chucky cheese parties right but also i really am just waiting for them to go extinct no offense fair i feel like i don't want that it doesn't seem like i don't know but the other thing is a lot of people commented like, well, my kids always have the best time. Or like every time it's my daughter's, each family member gets to pick where we go for dinner. And she always picks Chuck E. Cheese. I wish she wouldn't.

But she has the best time. And it's like, oh, like, what do you do? They know what kids like. What do you do in that position? Like, obviously, I mean, post-COVID, I think I'm a lot more hesitant to go to somewhere like that well i had my birthday at an arcade um this year this year and that's a fun thing you can do that was really fun because what they offer you at uh wondercade uh west side cincinnati what they offer you is like arcade games and you play your arcade games and they're not like also serving you XL wings.

Let me tell you, they have a fun little thing up front. They give each member of your party one ticket for a drink and one ticket for a snack. And then you get unlimited play on all the games. And it's prepackaged snacks. Oh, it was amazing. Oh, yes. No hospital visits.

No kitchen involved. No, yeah. And they do what they do and they do it well it's so much fun and yeah you can find way there's pinball yeah you can find ways to do similar chucky cheese things without the whole kit and caboodle um i think the best part was the game where dad kept thinking he was winning um but he kept losing but he just kept thinking he was winning shit talking left and right. But he just kept thinking he was winning. He was shit talking left and right. We were beating him.

Yeah. I think he was getting the hang of it, though. So I'm glad we stopped when we did. Yeah, we stopped while we were ahead. And he really thought he won. And then I was like, it's OK, Dad. Maybe someday. But he was pretty good at pinball.

Oh, yeah. And then I said, remember the pinball game from your computer? And he's like, no. What? He said, no. And I said, Dad, i remember you almost like one of the few one of them maybe three times in my life i've witnessed you cry was when your computer you're like dell your old desktop like died and he couldn't get the score back i don't i don't

remember i'm so serious he had like a feud going with some person in europe or something where like they were comparing scores seriously like a co-worker okay what i guess i believe you don't believe me i don't know this is a weird story no he played this dumb you know the pinball oh and then yes yes yes and And then the co-worker sent a letter and said, love Chuck E. Cheese. We won't win a beauty contest, but that doesn't mean we don't love you. I'm serious. I remember him playing that game a lot. But you remember the game. Of course.

Okay. So there was a time when his computer either crashed, whatever. It was like the 90s or early 2000s, whatever. And he lost his high score. And he had a really fucking high score. and his computer either crashed whatever it was like the 90s and or early 2000 whatever and he lost his high score and he had really fucking high score and he got so he did not actually cry but he got really really upset walking it back okay no more tears obviously he wasn't crying the only other time i saw him cry was when his dad died that that's what i remember yeah so i i'm being like a little dramatic here obviously but

he was so upset when he lost that high score so i told him about it at the fucking arcade and he goes i don't know what you're talking yeah he blocked it out why are you trying to bring it up yeah well then i immediately showed him a picture and he went oh space cadet pinball oh my god he it was like his brain like unclicked it was the most amazing moment because he he was stunned elks in her it was one of those moments where i felt like wow i've done something good in this world i've reminded him of his like i don't know if that's a good thing no it was because he was like man i was so good at that game like he was so proud of himself and i was like you just told me you never played it uh okay that was your last yeah i'm done so i only have one more too and it's a redemption

this is a review of pasquale's pizza and wings by jenny five stars wow why how okay they ordered the pizza duo bundle in case case you're wondering, this is from June 17th, 2022. So here is the review. Five stars. We are here on vacation and we were looking for a nice local pizza place to eat. We love it. Thank you so much. End of review.

No. Nobody tell them. No, but let them live in their ignorant bliss. Oh, that is hilarious. I just love we wanted to support a local pizza place. I don't blame them one bit. No, of course. It's so misleading.

How would you know? You wouldn't know. You would never know. And by the way, it has a totally different logo. Yeah. Of just like a tomato. And like they made it as far from a chucky cheese logo as you could possibly get leading on purpose like if you found a pizza place and you're

like oh a local pizza place and the logo had a mouse on it you'd be like huh but like they went as far away they put a fresh tomato on the logo what if it were like their logo was chucky cheese and you're like huh huh okay this is a weird logo i hope they don't get sued for it yeah they must be it's like slightly off from chucky g's and you're like they must just be like yeah skirting the law oh my god though i i love that that's adorable i know and i hope i'm happy for them i am too and this was only a couple months ago so like clearly there's chucky jesus charles is still running this little scam of his charles is a little rat char what did what that one woman

say charles you dirty rat dirty rat i've been playing valorant with uh b and steven and op a lot valorant it's a video it's a shooter game. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I'm such an old lady. Okay. I don't like gun games. I'm like... I'm scared of them.

Someone called Steven a rat for his tactics, like how he was playing. And he loved it so much. So now we all call each other rats when we play. Also, rats are so smart. Rats are great. I love it. Rats are the best. So when I was reading all these reviews, I kept thinking like, when they're using rat

this way, it's like, yeah. Yeah, you dirty rat. Yeah. That's me. Charles, you dirty rat. Honestly, what a badass vibe for him, though. So true. He wants to rebrand.

Oh, my God. An adult Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, like his punk band. He's going to start adult Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. Like his punk band. He's going to start a punk band. Yeah. Yeah. He's a dirty rat. Yeah.

I love it. What's Mouse Rat from Parks and Rec? Mouse Rat. So true. Honestly. That's the evolution right there. The vibe works. The vibe is right.

Speaking of rats, have you seen my moth tattoo? No, not in person. You haven't? Not in person, no. Okay. Well, the bandage is still on it. So it's like, looks a little gnarly, but here he is. What does it have to do with rats?

It's lovely. Sorry, Eva recently got a strawberry rat tattoo. What's that? Okay. Don't talk to me like I just know what that means. Don't talk to me. Okay. She got these little rats and they're like kind of curled up and they're kind of like

strawberries. Stop. They're so cute. They're genuinely like when she showed me that and the tattoo artist had like a flash page of all these different rats. Yeah. No. I know.

I know. I love rats. This is so great. But we couldn't get in with her. But so we made tattoos with those awesome tattoo artists too. But so anyway, Eva got like these cute little strawberry and they're curled around each other and they're little strawberry rats. They're so cute.

But yeah, so I got my Mothy. I love it. I think it looks great. I think next time. Thank you. cute. But yeah, so I got my Mothie. I love it. I think it looks great. But I think next time, thank you. I think next time I'm going to get a little rat. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health,

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Why not kick back with a cold, smooth bush?

Smooth taste. Great value. Bush Lager. smooth taste great value bush lager enjoy responsibly must be legal drinking age um anyway okay so that's it for chucky cheese yes i feel bad because i i feel like we got so many emails and i didn't use it yeah Yeah, I didn't read them. Sorry. Maybe that'll be a between you and us. Yes. Perfect. Actually, that could be really fun. Just use all the leftovers.

Leftovers, Chuck E. Cheese pizza and put it all, I mean, reviews and put them all together. Leftovers. And put it all together and make a full episode. All the slices make a really wonky shape. Oh, boy. Okay. Time for my challenge? Yes.

I'll remind everyone. I know what it is i'm i remember this one so excited i came up with it i mean someone might have suggested something similar you did because i was gonna ask if this was suggested this was a you thing a me thing it's a you problem because i was i think i walked by or drove by a pop bellies and was like i think i was talking you know what i was talking to d probably about that and was like you explain the challenge because i feel like you did it better than i could so the challenge is to find reviews where someone uh leaves a negative review or doesn't want to go somewhere yeah because of just because of the name not because of any like so because

it's inspired by our mother who doesn't shout out mom refuses refused back in the day was like and disgusted by the name pot bellies the restaurant the sandwich chain even even though it's a she knows it's a pot belly stove that it's well she says she knows but but she was like it doesn't matter she was like it's a pot belly it's gross that's gross i don't want to eat somewhere where someone who has a pot belly. It's gross. That's gross. I don't want to eat somewhere where someone has a pot belly. Something very specific. And then very recently, like she and I ate at a pot belly. Yeah, I don't know.

And to be fair, I paid for lunch. So maybe that's why. There's the key. But she loved her sandwich. So talk about a redemption. Redemption arc for pot bellies. And then recently you were like, last night you were like, would you out of a belly what did she say and she said no she said she did her whole spiel again and i was like i just took you there like three months ago you said there's another one too yeah there

was um the one that has the uh fish skeleton oh oh bonefish, bonefish grill? Bonefish grill, which honestly always turned me off a little bit, only because I have such a fear of choking after- True. Choking on a fish bone has always freaked me out. And then when you eat fish that has bones in it, and you're like, oh, I don't want to choke on that. Yeah. But do you know, thankfully I married Blaze for that very reason.

Because he chokes on bone. No, St. Blaze is actually he they do the blessing of the throat blaze blessed your throat so saint blaze is a patron saint of like choking b-l-a-z-e no spelled like him oh b-l-a-i-s-e i don't i don't ascribe to that saint i just described i'm a fan of saint blaze there's like, all saints day, except for Saint Blaze. No, I like, Saint Blaze with a Z is cool. All saints minus Saint Blaze. Okay, you know what?

Anyway, point being, he, Saint Blaze, B-L-A-I-S-E, spelled like his name, is the one that helped a little boy who was choking on a fish bone. That's so weird. I know, but ever since I was little, I've always been freaked out about that. That's literally the only reason you married Blaze? Yes! That's so weird.

The only one. Your whole life, you were like, I need to find a Blaze so that I can not choke on fish bones. 100%. Jesus. Or if I do, he can help me. We'll see. Well, he works in an ER.

I feel like if anyone's going to help me, it's him. I'm not helping. Yeah. Well, yeah, I know that. Okay. So anyway, Bonefish Grill. So anyway, Bonefish Grill always freaked me out because I really don't like bones in my fish. I know you do, but I don't.

I like it only in my cheesy bread um no or you could just you know not eat things with bones because that's gross yeah but alas here we are you think chucky cheese makes vegan pizza i would eat it honestly it probably would be one of those scenarios where it would taste pretty good. Probably be better. Yeah. I bet you they would do a good one because it would just be like so processed like everything else, you know?

Amen. Anyway, so you have reviews. Okay. Yes. But I also, it's also, it's a game. I love it. And I'm serious. Like it's like a real game.

Okay. Because some of them I think you can maybe actually try to guess the name. Oh, okay. Cool. And a lot of them, I mean, I don't think any of them are ones you've maybe actually try to guess the name okay and a lot of them i mean i don't think any of them are ones you've even heard of so they're all oh interesting they're not like chains they're all like local places that have really terrible names love it and i will say i feel like maybe i cheated a little bit but i got a few that um

did make the cut for the actual challenge because a lot of people liked the food but fucking hated the name okay so i feel like it was kind of a mix that's fine okay so here's the first one um i'm just gonna see i i feel like i don't know if you're ever gonna guess this i feel like it's nearly impossible okay some of them i feel like are more obvious or not more obvious but like maybe give you some context clues some don't give you any clues we'll just see what happens okay this is a four-star view of a restaurant and this is in cape coral florida and this is a review by lewis it's a four-star view and the title is Disgusting Name, Great Place. I stayed across the street at the Holiday Inn Express and only went upon the recommendation of the hotel staff.

The name is a real turnoff. Once inside, I found it to be a nice, clean, family-oriented place. Food was great, beer was cold, and staff were excellent. Don't let the name keep you away, although I still hate it. Hmm. Dirty dicks. You're not far off! Let me read the response.

Thank you for taking a chance on us. I am so pleased to hear your visit to Nuts Deep 2. Nuts Deep 2? Like the sequel? What? Nuts Deep the sequel? Nuts is spelled N-U-T-Z.

That's worse than I thought. Nuts Deep and then two capital I's. What? Nuts, deep, and then two capital I's. What? Nuts, deep, two. Like a Star Wars planet. That like some child named. Yeah. Nuts, deep, two.

I love that you got dick, though. Are you looking it up? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. It's in Marshfield, Wisconsin. I read the- You said it was in marshfield wisconsin i read the you said it's in florida i read the town of of the guy who wrote the review i didn't i read the wrong um but yeah it's in wisconsin um what nuts do you

i don't get it eat drink and go nuts voted best of marshfield okay i don't know what to tell you okay no offense to this place because i don't know it but that doesn't mean anything to me the best bartender 2022 of marsh marshfield oh my god i can't offense marshfield but it cracks me up this means nothing to me oh my god they sell a nuts deep deluxe pizza it's so gross it's hilarious i would eat here though like yeah that name does not turn me off it's so stupid it's so bad that it's so good i gotta say that was the other thing i discovered when places have ridiculous names people want to go there yeah and also probably have lower expectations for a place called Nuts Deep 2. I think that's what it is.

Maybe that's why mom liked her thing so much because she was like, okay. She liked your sandwich. Yeah. I thought it was going to be awful because the place is named Pod Bellies. Yes, exactly. So, no, you're totally right. I think a part of it is people just don't even expect greatness from somewhere called Nuts Deep 2, which don't get me wrong. I absolutely would set the bar high for that.

But yeah, you know. I can't find any vegan options. So Nuts Deep 2, if you ever get any or you do have some and I just can't find it, let me know because I would love to visit your establishment. What do you think Nuts Deep2 would be on DoorDash as the ghost kitchen? Dick, what did you call it? Dirty dicks. Might be called dirty dicks.

Oh, boy. Okay, now this is another game for you. Okay. A quiz. Please. Five stars, though. Okay. This is by Hank.

I'll be honest. I didn't want to come here because of the name and all i could think was wait the clothing store has food that's weird but then a co-worker said it was amazing and we were missing hawaii so we tried it out one day now we've been there at least a dozen times and brought many people with us and everyone raves about the food and drinks best mai tais and coconut shrimp i've ever had end of review huh clothing hawaii this is interesting you know i feel like i should know this or at least have a an educated guess but i'm not but because it has to be gross at the same time because i was like a clothing hawaii i don't know does it they just didn't want to eat there because the name oh okay oh billabong i don't know no billabong that's australian um i wouldn't say it's gross maybe i missed the misunderstood the challenge okay okay no because i didn't like

the name it's not necessarily i didn't want to come here because of the name yeah yeah the clothing store sells but it's hawaiian what i have no idea i'm done the tommy bahama restaurant in plano texas oh i guess tommy bahama expanded into dining okay it's actually tommy bahama like genuinely the store weird clothing store yes and um i mean does tommy bahama have anything to do with hawaii yeah they sell like hawaiian shirts oh but like bahamas it's not like a Hawaiian brand. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think. No, no, no, no, no, no. We were missing Hawaii.

Yeah. No. I think the only connection is that they sell the quote unquote like floral. Got it. Hawaiian. Yeah, it's from Seattle, Washington. Yes. Or its headquarters is Seattle, Washington.

I don't think it's genuinely. They have their own brand of rum as well oh well okay so they're really trying to get into different markets weird but yeah i love that hank is like i didn't want to go there and now i've been more than a dozen times which is probably more than any restaurant that's crazy you haven't to any restaurant for a dozen times? You've never been to a single restaurant for a dozen... I'm sure I have, but not like anything. Of course you have. Like what? I don't know, Christina.

Maybe the quarter where Dad used to be. Specific Skylines? Okay, yeah, maybe. Growing up... Maybe? Maybe. Christina, we'd go there once a week for... No way.

With Dad? Once a week. Yes, it was either Skyline or Burger King. And I always wanted to go to Burger King. And you two always wanted to go to Skyline. So you all won. Because we were better in taste. They're both gross.

They're both disgusting. Those are our options. Fine, maybe. I've been to a bunch of the restaurants in Northside at least 12 times. I've been to Starbucks. of the restaurants in north side at least 12 times you should get out of there something starbucks does not count no okay well then i don't know what to tell you only tommy bahamas locations i've been to dozens of them dozens of times only the one in plano texas so this one's more of a negative review and this is a three star and the tight it's on trip advisor and the title is pleasant enough but i hate the name and this is by traveling celt

we went on a sunday evening as we thought they might be showing some premier league football from the uk indeed they had two screens on the large one had a match from the Eredivisie and the second, the UK match we were looking for. That's a Dutch league, I believe. I don't know. I think you did well. Eredivisie. I believe that's a Dutch soccer league. So far, so good. The staff are welcoming and the selection of beer is good. However, food on a Sunday is very limited, burgers only. Moreover, the quality of the burger was not the highest, although the sides, chips, salad, coleslaw were all good. Since they had large posters outside advertising crocodile steak, that was a bit disappointing. BTW, who came up with the name and the sign? It isn't in the best possible taste. End of review. Oh. By the way, I love that it's

not the best possible taste, but they were hoping for. By the way, I love that it's not the best possible taste, but they were hoping for crocodile steak. Oh, I misunderstood that. So they were upset that they couldn't get the crocodile steak. I think so. Since they had large posters advertising crocodile steak, it was, the sides were disappointing? Or the burger was not great quality. That makes no sense to me. No, I don no i don't okay i mean i don't get it

either yeah these reviewers don't always make sense no they said the sides were good but the burger was not good quality and they said the large posters advertised crocodile steak so that was a bit disappointing oh maybe they meant that the posters were disappointing. Yeah. I think that they were disappointed that they served that. I mean, I'm disappointed. Certainly. Yeah. I suppose. But again, so I know that doesn't give much context.

Hmm. But I just had to. It's in poor taste. Yeah. And where is this again? So this is actually in Groningen in the Netherlands. Oh, it's actually. Okay. Wow.

Is that how you say that? Groningen? Ask our listener from there oh no it's an english name like it's it's in english okay um little boy parts am i wrong Am I wrong? Similar? Close? Well. In porté. It is. When I think about that, and I think of a country like the Netherlands or Germany or whatever, they would put weird shit like that in my mind.

I'm like, yeah, they'd have a weird, and it would just be in English, and you'd look at it like, what the fuck? But for them, it's just, yeah, whatever. The name of the place is called Dog's Bullocks. Oh, okay. So like a dog's junk. Yeah. Okay.

So that's, that's it. I mean, it's like the place in LA. Yes. We go to called Chicken Butthole is the direct translation of this Korean restaurant bar. Blaise was talking about this last night. He was saying like he took his, we went there several times and then he took his friends and the Uber driver who took them there was Korean and started laughing and was like, do you know what this means?

And they were like, no. He's like, this means chicken butthole. And the logo is literally a chicken bending over showing its butthole. Like an X over the butt. And we were like, oh, duh. Okay. That makes sense. Like we lived in Koreatown.

We were just like, whatever. It's a Korean restaurant. Chicken butthole. I mean, it was a great place. I don't know. Oh, boy. Okay. So this is another five-star review.

But the title is Great Burrito Joint. Hate the name. And this is by Allie. Found this place on my phone and decided to try it. Burritos are huge and prices not bad. Tried also the soft tacos and guacamole. Everything made fresh and tasty. Very small inside as far as seating.

The locally made sodas were excellent. They should have changed the name to Heavenly Burritos instead. End of review. Heavenly. That is the lamest name of a restaurant. I know. Heavenly Burritos.

What, like Hell's Burritos? Burritos from hell? You're on the right path hellish burritos think a little more outside outside the devil's burritos go on that path devil satan nope no devil um burrito devil uh devil you're so close satan uh lucifer uh fallen angel revelations um um um i don't know el diablo oh yeah diablo el diablo burritos in wilmington delaware and i did not expect it to be in Delaware. Me neither. But a lot of people complained about any restaurant called El Diablo because, God forbid, you name it after.

I mean, honestly, imagine if it was called Lucifer. People would lose their fucking minds. If El Diablo is like bad. Yeah, right? That's fair. Oh, fallen angel. I love that they're like, why don't they just call it heavenly burrito it's like baphomet or whatever baphomet's baphomet's bagels would be my new place uxinner i'm not creating no but if that no please please uxinner please can we make it here in Cincinnati

how fun would that be now I'm on the squishable website and they have a bagel you know like squishmelons I want it but it's $42 can I just get it for D

yes I feel like she would like it here's another one and this one is the one that you will not get Can I just get it for Dee? Yes. I feel like she would like it, right? She would. Here's another one. And this one is the one that you will not get from the context. Okay. But I just wanted to keep... The name is fun and whatever. It's so stupid.

It's not even a good review. I just thought the name was funny. This is four stars. Good little sports bar. The staff are very friendly. Prices are average. I hate the name of the place, but inside it is a clean and decent sports pub. Okay.

That's a good one. See, that's what the challenge was about. Yeah. I think you did great. Thank you. Also, I'm glad you're giving me the opportunity to guess these and come up with the worst. It's just silly. I figured you'd probably come up with better names than the actual business.

Baphomet's Bagels, see? You really nailed it. I love Baphomet's Bagels. Fallen Angel Falafels. Oh my God. Fallen Angel's Falafel. That's too much for people in the Midwest. You're right.

Way too much. What about Fallen Falafel and no one will know? Fallen Falafel. And then years later when it's the biggest falafel restaurant in the world they ask where did the name come from and then it's like my evil my long con but it reminds me of that lady who was all mad about monster energy drink or whatever yes i love that video six six six you know it's the devil's number uh i flip over the can and i can't wait to piss her off so good i gotta watch that later tonight thank you for yeah honestly can you send it to me because

i don't want to look it up but it's one of my favorites yeah it's so good anyway i believe I believe that this restaurant is named Koochie Koochie Koo. That's my sports bar. Are you still convinced I'll come up with better names? No. It's called Lounge Fly. That's not even that bad. Lounge Fly. Lounge Fly.

That's what I thought. I just love, there were so many people just mad about that i thought it was so gross and i'm like lounge fly i don't think it's that bad yeah i don't think so either so this one you might actually get from context clues we'll see this is a four star review by annie i love these stores hate the name seriously it's so dumb but i love it it's basically a higher class aldi's i guess the staff here were friendly and helpful i asked for half and half and assumed since it wasn't out they didn't have it the girl grabbed some from the back didn't give me stink eye or anything end of review little um no it's a higher end aldi's which that's literally trader joe's higher class yeah

is literally what that is uh higher class okay if that's not right but um yeah it's kind of a weird that's weird right what i'm thinking is like less of a so it doesn't really matter i mean in my opinion doesn't really track with the name of the place. So it's not even like, I don't even think that's true. It's a higher class. I mean, I don't know, but world market. I have no idea.

I mean, you got one of the words. Oh, grocery outlet, bargain market. Have you seen these? It's a chain. If you Google the,

you might recognize the logo. I think. Yeah, I bet you will. What's it bargain outlet okay grocery outlet bargain market yeah yeah it's a pretty like common chain i think yeah yeah yeah yeah but i just love that she's like i fucking hate the place for its name but i can't help but go here for my half and a half. They didn't even give me stink eye when I asked for half and a half.

Okay, so this is the next one. It's a two-star review. And this is by Kara. Hate the name. Hate the color scheme. But luckily this bar still retains the good features of Auntie Anne's. Quite small, but there's a good atmosphere

and great drink choices if you manage to get a seat. End of review. What? Wetzel's pretzels? There's no way you're going to get it. So is it like an evolved version of Auntie Anne's? It has like nothing to do with it.

I don't know why they... Cinnabon? I think they're just being rude. Like the name... Oh. Like the name of the place is the Bar with No Name in Belfast. So it's not even like... What's its name?

The Bar with No Name. It has no name? What's its name? I'm so confused. The Bar with No Name LLC. Oh. I just love like it retains the good features of Auntie Anne's, but it has nothing to do... And this is in Belfast?

Yeah. Do they have Auntie Anne's in Belfast? I don't know. I guess so. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Now, this one.

They do. They do? They do. That's hilarious. This one, I wonder. Sorry. I'm always so surprised that like very specific like chains in the u.s which ones have made it like because some internationally like m and i did a

show in toronto and we mentioned target and people were like we don't have that and i'm like okay wow so target is not a good reference here but then you're like ireland has anti-ans like i'm always surprised by the ones that do make it kind of international yeah and it's always just like i don't want to be presumptuous and assume everyone knows what it is but then i look like an idiot when i'm like oh it's a pretzel yeah oh you know anti-ans oh you probably don't cinnamon pretzels they make them all smell really good one time i asked for them to make me a vegan one or asked if they could do a vegan one. The guy like freaked out because he'd have to make a whole new thing.

He had to like clean the whole oven or whatever. I just left. I didn't know that. So I haven't been back. Sad. Anyway, what's next? This one is a four star review by an elite 2022 Yelp user named Warren. It's four stars.

And this is an updated review. I'm not going to read the original, but just so you know. I've made several trips to blank. I love the food, but hate the name. I've actually had several people say, the name is blank? No thanks. I can understand the negative connotation. Hmm. order you can wind up spending quite a bit so the value is just okay for me overall great place to get a good burger end of review it's so stupid roach legs kitchen and bar is it weird that i'm

sort of like ah it's probably not similar at all but the name is Sickies. Oh, no. It's bad, right? That is pretty bad. Sickies Garage Burgers and Brews. Sickies Garage? Not only are you in the sick person's home, you're in their garage. To be fair, his review just says, I've made several trips to Sickies, and then people say the name is Sickies. No, thanks.

But the actual name is Sickies Garage Burgers and brews in bellevue nebraska i want some garage burgers from this joint in uh in nebraska yeah it's uh called sickies they sell garage burgers okay this is probably my favorite one or one of my favorites and i'm gonna make you guess what it is it's a four star review by hank it's the last one i have and here it is i hate the name of this place blank blank sounds like a cheap place for bums to bums single cigarettes the inside tells a different story, though. There is something for everyone inside this place. If you're a dirty hippie doper, they have bongs. If you're a cigarette smoker, they have a decent selection of cigs, including jar and blacks. Like hookahs? They got you.

I personally like cigars. Most shocking statement of the century. I personally like cigars, and this place has a surprisingly well-rounded selection. Not the largest, but definitely adequate. The focus here is definitely on AJ Fernandez and Arturo Fuente. I didn't see any Fuente Añejos, but I saw plenty of AJ Fernandez San Latinos, which are one of my faves. of AJ Fernandez San Latanos, which are one of my faves.

Additionally, they have a special AJ Fernandez blend called Cigar Cave that is allegedly made for them in particular. So ask them about that. All in all, great little spot to pick up a smoke of any kind if you're in the East Palm Harbor area. Well, you started speaking a different language. I lost... I know nothing about cigars.

I disassociated from my body when i read those words i have no idea um i recently read a whole thread about people talking about inhaling or not inhaling you're not supposed to actually like inhale you just keep it in your mouth and then you go like yeah and i'm like reading all this i'm like what i don't get it i love that you read i always do i just watch like an hour legitimately probably an hour and 40 minute um youtube video this is my new thing it's not new but it's something i do sometimes i go through faces on youtube.com wow i go and it's called you but it's spelled y-o-u-tube oh yeah yeah um i go on there sometimes and watch uh like i want to say gossip videos but i feel

like that doesn't give enough like weight to them like people make like full feature-length films about like certain internet drama yes i fucking love them so i watched an andrew tate one recently oh okay and boy oh boy that guy always that's like beyond internet that i mean that is yes it's not internet drama yeah i see what you mean you know what i mean like sometimes i thought you're talking about like influencers no but there are like i guess the ones that i follow sometimes do like influencers sometimes do like shane dawson videos sometimes but then like i just watched an andrew tate one from one of my favorite and i mean that man and his fucking cigars i wanted to just the number like every clip of him he's just like puffing on a fucking cigar dude anyway so i was a

little biased when i read this review but um yeah do you have any guess what this place is called it sounds like a cheap place he he hates he loves the place just hates the fucking name jerry's joints um it's just a dumb name it's not he's huh pee-pees penis peter valerie's what if it was called sickies cigars sickies cigars sickies cigar garage oh god it's called tobacco discount and he's so mad that it's called discount because they have like special cigars and shit well yeah they have the villain wait wait i don't know they have the cave the cave the cave cigar cigar cave cigar cave yeah yeah yeah it's a special blend a special blend just for discount. Just for discount.

Anyway, that just killed me. Because it's just such a douchey review. Anyway. You know what my like. Oh, the guy's smoking a cigar in his. No, he's not smoking. He's lighting up a cigar in his photo in a parking lot. Of course.

Yeah. Other than like our high school graduation my thought of cigar when i think of cigars i think of a specific moment when uh near uh dad and elsie's house we went sledding and um there was a dad who was like a family friend or something and i remember him with being on the sled with his kids with his cigar no and he had the cigar the entire time in his mouth while sledding. And I remember just, it smelled so bad and I hated it. That is my, like, I know this is so specific. That's so weird. I don't remember that at all.

That is my main memory when it comes to cigars. Yeah, mine is only, like, all the boys in high school graduating and, like, smoking cigars or, like, pretending to smoke or holding cigars. I don't know what they were doing um but that's really my only concept and i'm glad whenever i was offered a cigar i didn't take it because i would not have known what to do with it we would have just like inhaled it i would have like bitten into it this candy just chewed on it. It's a bubblegum cigar. Gross. Anyway.

I feel like they need to make like tobacco discount, but a ghost kitchen and just. Oh my God. So you don't know it's a discount tobacco. Yeah, true. You got to name it something like really high end. I already gave you some great names. Honestly. Penis Peter.

Pee Pee's. Pee Pee, cigars. I feel like we could trick that guy when he's sledding to door dash himself some cigars. He would never know that it's discount. Can you door dash cigars? Like, I'm actually curious. I feel, I mean, I can get weed. In LA, we could get weed delivered.

So why not cigars, right? Exactly. I have no idea. Weird. Anyway. Don't let us know if you can. We don't care, actually. I do.

No. Don't email us about cigar door dashing. I would love to know just so I can social media stalk you and figure out who is door dashing cigars. Imagine Flanfolk comes in with this email of the origins of cigar. It's called Pipes. Oh, true. it's called pipes and pipes put that in your pipe with pizza okay anyway thank you for listening thanks everybody okay do i have a challenge what do you have a challenge for me oh i was like alexander i just did my fucking challenge well we're recording tomorrow so I guess it doesn't matter if we tell them.

Oh, yeah, I guess not. So never mind. I don't have one, but I'll come up with it. Okay, bye. Bye.