Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 206: Reviews of Our Dad's Mail

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

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I'm so excited for this episode. This is the stupidest episode we've ever done. Can't stop laughing. We haven't even started it yet. I just keep laughing to myself because it's so dumb. So patrons voted and wanted us to, quote, read reviews of our dad's mail. Or read reviews of your dad's mail. Do we know what that means?

Not totally. The topics were like, I don't know 7-elevens like i'm just making that up your dad's mail an overwhelming majority voted well by the way happy election day oh yes happy election for us if you're hearing this now oops you missed it uh i hope you voted yes but speaking of voting sometimes voting gets into the hands of the wrong people and those are our patrons and i don't know who gave them the authority to make this decision i've reached out to their individual uh districts and requested that their voter registration be annulled oh that's perfect because i've started gerrymandering all all of their uh all of their respective

locales just to make sure each one i've just put a big circle around or like a teeny tiny circle just around each of their houses and those votes will just count as like you know so they'll feel like they're doing something yeah but they're not yeah exactly got it cool that's how jerry's like i think that's what gerrymandering drew circles on a map that's it you nailed it it sounds right anyway welcome to the show we're doing our dad's mail and we i want to put up front before my dad hears this it goes what the hell um we're not saying anything private we're just he gets okay here's the thing here's the thing he changed his mailing address to my home address and so i receive all of his mail yeah and so i think it's only fair that i get to vent my frustration at the mail by the way he also bought a basket for the mail

it's so heavy that i had to like use both arms to carry it upstairs yesterday and he gets a lot of mail a lot of mail to the point where once the mailman rang my doorbell and said, there's this Bernard that keeps getting mail at your house. And I put so much in your mailbox. I want to make sure this is actually for your house. So that you're not just overwhelmed with this random person's mail. And I was like, oh no, that's my dad. Basically, he gets a lot of weird stuff.

Even he admits it from different charities, from different companies, catalogs, especially now that it's holiday season almost, he's getting a lot of catalogs. All that to say, we're just basically focusing on some of the, I don't know, brands, businesses that send him basically spam. Spam. Junk mail. Like advertisements, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. Nothing personal or private, obviously. That would be really ridiculous and hilarious, but we would not do that, despite what all our patrons are demanding.

Nor are we reviewing the mail. Right, right. We're not looking at it like, oh, monks are dying? Ha ha ha ha ha. That's so funny. No, not that again. Which is what we've done in the past. It was an accident. But this time around. Yeah, it's a lot of those mailers where they tape nickels to the inside to make you open it.

Yeah, you've gotten rich from that, right? I have, yeah. Alexander, yeah, you're totally right. Just take out all the nickels for yourself. Yeah, I've had to go off the grid because when you win the lottery and so many people crawl out of the woodwork to try and um you know get you to buy them a four-wheeler or something i know exactly yeah we've all been there uh so that's what happened with all these nickels everybody heard and they've just been harassing me i mean the ironic thing is they keep sending you nickels because they want more of your money so it's like it's this never-ending cycle you get richer and they're

like oh she can afford to give us something. So let's give her a nickel and she'll give us more money back. That's where that phrase came from. The rich get richer. True. That's where it came from. Yeah. So anyway,

it just started. That phrase just started. Yeah. Well, I just invented it. Yeah. A minute ago. Yeah.

Um, so anyway, we're here to read our dad's mail and I feel like you should go first if that's okay. Okay. If you're willing. Um, so anyway, we're here to read our dad's mail and I feel like you should go first if that's okay. Okay. If you're willing. Um, my first one is of a review on Amazon of the National Catholic Reporter. You're familiar, right?

Oh, very, very. Only because I read so much mail from them every day. So the National Catholic Reporter, not to be confused with the National Catholic Register, is a publication that is called a, quote, progressive Catholic publication. A publication? The fact that the publication is progressive. The fact that the publication is progressive. The fact that the publication is progressive.

I think we probably shouldn't be allowed to vote. Speaking of this episode. Too late. Too late. Oh, man. Anyway, so people had problems with it being, quote, progressive. And Catholic, because it feels kind of oxymoronic. It does.

To many Catholics, it does. Got you, got you. Oh, I see. To the Catholics who are like, we're not progressive or like, we don't want to be progressive. We don't want to be progressive. We don't want to align with that. Okay, I got you. I got you.

Yes. So here's a one-star review titled, Faux Catholicism. Okay. This is by someone named Gravy Train. Okay. If you enjoy watered down Catholicolicism rather than authentic catholicism this is for you heresy is quite affordable on the bright side end of review oh it got fucking harsh i feel like dad's gonna be offended on his own behalf when he hears he's like i know i mean

i don't think you sent me a picture i don't think it was even like the publication itself it was like an advertisement for him. No, it wasn't. It was just spam mail. I assume if you're registered to any church or any, like in your town, even if you, whether you go or not, I assume they just mail you, they get a list somewhere and mail it to you. Or if you donate to a certain charity, that's the other thing. He donates a lot of money.

And so then like the nickels come rolling in from every monastery, every animal sanctuary. In the picture you sent, the thing from the National Catholic Reporter, it just had like a hundred nickel sized holes in it. I wondered what that was until this moment. You get it now. Yeah. Yeah. So he gets like one time I remember he got a a a letter big big like manila envelope and i will say i've become an expert like if anyone if i lose this podcasting job and i need a new career

i could honestly become like a designer for these envelopes and stuff to get people to open them because i really manipulative yeah extremely manipulative because i'm really honing those skills because i every time a pile of mail comes in every now and then i know which ones are junk obviously but then every now or then one gets me intrigued enough to open it even if i know it's spam or whatever um and this one did it was a big manila envelope and it felt like something very like an actual object was inside bigger than a nickel and i opened it up you're like a quarter maybe they have a quarter in this one it was a chucky cheese token no even better taped it to no it was um like a canvas painting of a horse

what yeah and it came from a um like a horse uh rehabilitation sanctuary and they just mailed out all these like paintings of horses and you're saying this would just work in job so it worked on you and therefore it's going to work on everybody well i just meant that the envelope clearly had an object in it that wasn't like your standard like address label like return address labels and then you open it and you're disappointed to find a canvas. I was thrilled. Oh, I'm sorry. Thrilled. Thrilled.

I was like, and that was the first week the mail had changed to my house. And I was like, this is going to be a bumpy ride, I think. Anyway. Where is it hanging? What? Where is it hanging? Accenture, like look behind you. I'm not looking.

Have you not even looked on my beautiful wall? It's not funny. I know it's not. I do have a watercolor of an elephant behind you. Okay. That's also from a sanctuary. But that one... Wasn't spam mail.

That one wasn't spam mail. Okay. So anyway, I feel like I... Yeah, is there a conclusion here? I don't remember where I was going with that. I do want to say that i feel like maybe i don't want to say cheated but like maybe i just took things in it oh let me just rewind oh no so this episode let's put it this way gave me a chance to do something i've been waiting for almost a year and instead of suggesting it or

bringing it up you needed a sly way to do it like a sneaky way yes and this is reviews from the signals catalog uh it's what i it's what i want to read is that all you've brought i tried that's fine i'm not saying that in a bad way i tried to find other stuff but like once you got the catholic reporter or whatever i was like well yeah i got i got a couple good ones like a good you you gave me a you sent me a couple of pictures and there were some in there that I thought, wow, this is, this is a goal. And that was only the last couple of days of mail. And I have to admit a lot of this stuff has been recycled already.

So, um, you know, I feel like my options, I'm sure tomorrow I'll open the mailbox and I'll have something absolutely perfect that I could have read. But, uh, the signals catalog, this is something that we actually cover well that i covered on a bonus episode oh a patreon one a patreon episode it was 53 minutes long and basically the theme was for the bonus episode was reviews of stuff we got for christmas uh-huh it was very fun we got some really weird random stuffhuh. It was very fun. We got some really weird random stuff for Christmas. I think we should do it again this year.

Okay. Because it's just like random, like the Far Side calendar that we got and stuff like that. So this is when I brought up that dad had gotten me this really cheesy T-shirt. It was a picture of a comma and a picture of, and it said, wait. And then the question mark was responding and saying, what? saying what okay get it and so we talked about his gift closet and how he kind of just pulls

stuff out and gives it away and he has like a collection of stuff and i discovered because now that i get his mail i just flipped through a signals catalog and been like there's that damn t-shirt and there's that other t-shirt so this is where he buys a lot of his gifts i wouldn't say a lot but several and uh the way i described it in the patreon episode was it's sort of like sky mall but like even more for boomers yeah uh it's a gift catalog um they have some wild stuff uh and what i did was on the bonus episode i predicted what we would get in a future gift giving session based on just like the different t-shirt quotes and stuff like that. I think the one that I thought you would get was, I wonder if clouds look at us and comment on our shoes and pants.

You mean leg prisons? And you said you wanted to wear that so bad, but I said it was too expensive. And so I offered to make it on my cricket. Never did. Never did, of course. Maybe this Christmas, finally, I'll get my act together by making you a leg prison shirt. I like the cloud one.

I bet they do look at me and talk about what shape I am. The shape you said was loser. You were like, I bet they stare down and go, what a loser. What a good episode. Anyway, there's a lot more in there. Patreon.com slash Beach2S patreon.com i'm not kidding i was so tempted to just like copy and paste i was laughing so hard i was like this is so dumb but um if you do want to listen to it it's on patreon december 2021 bonus um we it's a really long i mean it's longer than some of our regular episodes but so let's get back to this some of the t-shirts I found I had read reviews of on the episode and I didn't even realize it until I went back and listened.

Here's one that was not in the episode. It's called, well, I'll just read it. Metal Knot in the Affairs of Dragons. For you are crunchy and good with ketchup. And this is actually a positive review um i mean why actually i couldn't imagine a negative one for that one because it's my first one you know i usually try to lift us up at the end but i just you know you don't but yeah well i don't that's true you usually are like oh i have a redemption well i have a redemption it's not quite a redemption. It's something really depressing. It's terrible depressing if somebody died, but let's all get lifted up.

So this is by Peter. It's a four star review of the shirt. The title is great, but a bit too subtle. I love it. I've had people ask me what it means. I haven't had that with your other humorous shirts. A bit too subtle for me. End of review.

I love that. Yeah, yeah. Hey. Imagine. I think that one is, it's just too many words. I mean, I get it. Which is shocking because this is fewer words than most shirts on the entire website. You know, most shirts have many, many, many more words.

But yeah, I guess that's fair. All right, your turn. I love it. Okay, my next one is another one of the National Catholic Reporter. One star. I would give this a zero if there was such a rating. NCR is false advertising at its worst. It is the official newspaper of Nancy Pelosi, VP Biden,

and many others who pretend to be Catholic, lacking the integrity of Martin Luther, who at least finally admitted he didn't believe as the church believes and left. They seek to make God and his church in their image, instead of accepting that we are made in the image and likeness of God, there's a huge difference. I am in my late 50s, and I apologize all the time to my children, nieces, and nephews for the mess my generation made of the church. Thank God for the Pope John Paul II generation. They are the hope of the church. NCR will not admit that Pope Paul VI was a prophet when he wrote Humane Vitae.

Everything he said that would follow from the contraceptive mentality came true. NCR and its minions, having separated the unitive from the procreative contraception, now aren't even sure what marriage

is. Are you kidding me? Back in the day, we learned that sin has a byproduct in that it dulls the intellect and weakens the will. Oh, no wonder you don't know any of these words. It's so true. Got me.

Or as an associate's teens responded upon learning this, oh, you mean it makes you stupid and lazy? And so we have card-carrying Catholics who promote and use contraception and or become politicians who do the same and or vote for politicians who promote abortion at every opportunity? Can you say, President Obama? On top of that, NCR loves to ridicule bishops,

priests, religious, and laity who do the hard work of living the Catholic faith. I recommend National Catholic Register if you actually want to learn about the news from a Catholic perspective. God bless. End of review. Anyway, after all of that, God bless. Yeah, I had a fun time. Sending you a lot of love and harmonious feelings. Yeah, this was written in 2012, by the way, if you're curious about. Oh, boy. Yeah, VP Biden, this person's not having a good time anymore.

What time, yeah, what a time this person must be having. Just the mocking of the bishops alone is enough to turn me off of this publication. Yeah, the thing is, I don't totally know what the National Catholic Register has done specifically, other than bishops have requested that they take the word Catholic out of their name. Because they're like, you're not Catholic, so stop it. And they're like, no, we won't. Wait, they're not? I don't know what's going on.

What? Okay. Wait, they're not? I don't know what's going on. What? Okay. According to the bishops, they're saying no, because they have different views than the official views of the Catholic Church. Oh. So bishops have said to National Catholic Reporter, please take the word Catholic out of your title. Oh, I thought you meant they wanted the bishops to remove the word catholic out of their title i was like that seems really strange the other way around because they're saying the

publication's not catholic i see i'm sorry i thought you meant that the bishops weren't and i was like they've defected oh my god i was like there's a lot more to this no but that would be pretty deep that would be a good tv show um no i don't know about that i don't know a bunch of bishops who defect from the catholic church like start their own cult or something yeah okay martin luther did it yeah you know so here's another shirt and uh this one is a pretty similar actually i think i did read this one or a different format of it but i found different reviews on the bonus episode this one says underestimate me that'll be fun so here's a four-star review by leanne the title is i dare you clever dare will anyone get it will anyone dare i definitely appreciate it end of review okay very threatening and then very kind and then i just want to read one more because i have another verified buyer here five

stars by mark the title is for the short woman in my life i got this for my wife all five foot one inch of her it should serve its purpose end of review oh let's hope yeah let's hope um so you know these are very much appreciated shirts despite us kind of you know joking around about them i would never you would never but i do uh i i'm mocking bishops on the left t-shirts on the right mocking them all christina you you got to take catholic out of your uh twitter bio no yeah no you can't make me you can't make me one thing that our father receives is the costco connection which is a costco costco catalog catalog thing kirkland for life and i found an email actually this is from uh gray oh in our inbox gray they them who sent had sent in a review in july for kirkland signature

opti-fiber 26.8 ounces 190 servings it's a prebiotic fiber supplement i literally heard opti-fiber i thought it was like fiber optic cable or something. And I thought, oh, that's pretty. And then you said 12 servings and I was like, okay. Maybe a little different. But this is a five star review.

I use one to two scoops of this a day in my morning coffee. Once I've been taking this consistently for over a week, I have the most fabulous poops. When you're making a number two, this product is number one. End of review.

I just love that slogan. Someone's out for my fucking marketing job that I'm pitching over here. If that were on that manila envelope, that thing would be in pieces because I'd be shredding it open. Better yet, if that thing were on the canvas instead of the horse. True.

That would be hanging up above your head. It wouldn't even be a joke. It would genuinely be on the wall. Yeah. Goodbye elephant. It wouldn't be there anymore because I would have stolen it by now. You would have stolen it a long time ago. So true.

Wow. Putting it in your coffee. Doesn't that sound like the most Costco, like I buy this fiber in bulk and put it in my coffee. Yeah. It just seems like the most Costco scenario that i buy this fiber in bulk and put it in my coffee yeah it just seems like the most costco scenario yeah that i could imagine wow okay so let's see what do i have next here is a review of a doormat so this is a different a little different it's not a t-shirt

this time and the doormat you know when there's kind of very, how do I say it, not professionally done designs and people say like, oh, someone's passion is graphic design. Yeah, graphic design is my passion. Yeah, graphic design is my passion. And then anyway. So I feel like a lot of these. You're mocking this artist. No, it's not an artist because it's literally just text.

I was like, wow wow that's just rude okay so i just feel like i need to tell you like i feel like they could really benefit from maybe somebody zhuzhing these up a little because it's just plain text but i mean maybe not because people seem to love it so who am i to judge uh so this doormat says in just plain font our wireless doorbell is a dachshund named teddy okay uh here is a five star view by lucy verified buyer i bought this doormat for a friend who has a dachshund named What? Amazing. He has his own blog, so I know she would love this mat. She did. End of review.

Cute! Did you look up the blog? Why didn't I? Christy, what? I don't know. What's wrong with me? Oh my god. Are we sure it's not Crusoe?

That would be really awkward if she spelled the name wrong. Oh no! Crusoe the celebrity dachshund? Crusoe passed away. be really awkward if she spelled the name wrong. Oh no! Crusoe passed away! Oh. I think. Looks like Crusoe was posting three days ago on a boat, so unless you know something that I don't know. Crusoe? Crusoe. No, but that's a different one. Are you

sure they spelled it right? They said Crusoe, which would really be bad because it's a personalized doormat. True. What I'm saying is if it's Crusoe, then they wrote Clouseau. Oh, no. A dachshund named Clouseau.

That's not right. We got to go through this Crusoe dachshund. This is a celebrity dachshund named Crusoe. Yeah. What are the odds that there's also a blog having Dachshund named Crusoe? I bet you there's a blog that like somebody just keeps. Maybe it's an Instagram page, you know. Yeah.

I feel like it's but what are the odds that your friend gets your dog's name so wrong after personalizing a doormat for you? Maybe it was a typo in the review. It's a very aggressive typo because it's spelled completely differently okay and it ends in e-a-u which oh which this one certainly doesn't

um i don't know i don't know it's a mystery no i'm just typing it the way that you said it c-l-o-u-s-e-a-u c-l-o-s-e-a-u c-l-o-u-s-e-a-u okay yeah that is egregious i mean if that's not how she spells it and then they put it on the doormat that way imagine the friendship must be over because like clouseau is like that's like a the detective right yes that's like an actual character yes i guess oh yeah duh from pink panther i was like why is inspector gluso something i hope she didn't spell the dog's name wrong on the personal hilarious maybe hey hey maybe this person's a big pink panther fan and it auto-corrected it took oh i know what you're trying to say yeah you're right you're right they knew how to spell crusoe but autocorrects like you don't talk about anything but pink panther yeah we know you're probably still in that group chat with your book club where you only discuss pink panther pink panther a book

i don't know i don't think so we're just let's get off this pink panther train before people find out how little we know about here's the thing is that um it's a book club, first and foremost, but they really only do care about Pink Panther. You know what I mean? Like, they read other books. Other books. So, it is a book. They don't read any book. They don't read any book.

Keep going. I literally tried to get us out of here, but I love that you're dragging us deeper. They don't read books. They actually just talk about pink panther okay so it's not a book club no it is but but they say it is oh wink they tell their partners that it's a book club wink but it's just a pink panther fan it's a cover yeah because they're embarrassed about that they're not embarrassed they just know that their husbands wouldn't understand. Okay.

Or their partners. It's not, you know. I was going to say, wow. It's not a very gendered heteronormative group. I was going to say, I didn't think so until you said that. I think I just kind of Freudian slipped from my own experience. Got it. Of hiding my. Pink Panther fandom.

Yeah, correct. From my husband. Oh, wow. I do put on Leona's music. She has like a little playlist that i play sometimes yeah and she does have um the pink panther theme that's pretty good in there and and we live it did it we what we love it okay you said that i said it wrong i know you got me oh my gosh you looked out the door

my next one let's get back it's been 20 minutes yet the peruvian connection oh yeah i was i was hoping you'd cover this i sent i definitely picked that out of the pile for you. So they, thank you so much. I got presents from there too. Oh yeah. I believe it. An alpaca hat. Of course. They originally started as a mail order catalog.

Okay. And then now they have eight retail stores as well. Cool. Basically they sell high end women's clothing and accessories. Oh. According to Wikipedia. Just like my alpaca hat. I will say I got it and I brought it home and Juniper immediately was like trying to eat it.

Oh, no. Because I think it just smelled like a farm animal. Yeah. He was just, and I had to move it because he was just, he had to hide it from him. Anyway, sorry. I had to move it because he was just, he had to hide it from him. Anyway, sorry, go on. Okay, so here's a one-star review of this place.

Actually, it's their location. Oh, New York, New York. This is a one-star review. It's by Mary. If you're looking for overpriced, cheaply made, tacky clothing for the geriatric unit, well, this is your spot. The man that helped me i believe to be the manager was an arrogant jerk lacking both style and class he had no idea about sizing and chastised me when i touched the clothing that's kind of the idea right like you touch it

try it maybe that's just me you lost what could have been a very good customer joke is on you end of review maybe she was touching it like how juni was touching i know i was thinking like how her whole face like with biting it yeah yeah touching it with her teeth more of like a munch i call that when leona when leona uses her teeth i call it a sharp kiss maybe she's that's funny sharp kissing the clothes yeah yeah gross you know actually now that you mentioned it i did look up reviews of another place that dad got which was called ben silver charleston having just been in charleston and gone like up and down with eva on king street there's all these like beautiful boutiques and like some high-end stuff and we saw that store ben silver

i read reviews of it oh boy it was just a it was just a mess people were saying that like the owner himself was writing like nasty notes back when people tried to like return an item or i i don't know it's just very um woof it's i just i didn't find anything worth bringing but um there were definitely some very controversial reviews of that other clothing place so i will say most of the peruvian connection reviews were negative um but there are people reviewing the stores on yelp about the online catalog. I see. Complaining about their return policies and things.

Yeah, there's a lot of that stuff with these catalogs. I've learned shipping issues and delays. Restocking fees. Yeah. Things like that. Yes, you had to pay to return it. Oh, apparently this Ben Silver place puts you on a list as a high return customer. Oh, no.

And this person's like i've spent thousands of dollars here and i sent pack like um a jacket that just didn't fit me and they put me on a list and when i called the next time they said oh i'm sorry you're not welcome to shop here oh my gosh you're just like not allowed yeah that was when we were in i was in new york uh visiting d and we were with Christina and Kevin and we had ordered food from, I don't know, Uber Eats, I think. And it was literally just someone else's order. And instead of like our four meals, it was two meals.

And we have in our group, it's two vegans and a vegetarian. Yeah. And it was, we got two like chicken sandwiches or some buffalo chicken sandwiches. So Kevin went to return it or like complain and the app literally said, you can't do it because he's done it so much. But he's like not a- No, but it happens all the time.

Exactly. It's like, it's been wrong so often. If that app ever tells me that, I'm going to lose my mind. I didn't know it came to that. No, I didn't either. And it makes me nervous. And now I'm nervous

because I feel like I often get an issue with my order and i mean i should just say it's not even that it happens every time it's just that i order so much food that i think eventually i just you know statistically i'm bound to hit several of those well anyway um okay so speaking of graphic design is my passion i have another shirt here and i'm gonna send a picture of it to you and you can just tell me like what is wrong with this picture okay um i already know the answer oh it's nothing nothing oh nothing i'm sure whatever this is it's perfect okay great um so i'll read the shirt to you first before i text it uh it says if youtube twitter and facebook if YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook ever merge, I hope they call it U-Twit-Face. So here's

the picture. Oh my god, wait. That's actually really funny. I thought so. Oh my god, it's literally printed. So it's... Like the picture of the shirt that they used, I don't even know how to describe it, has like the short sleeve. The sleeve is folded on picture of the shirt that they used. Yeah. I don't even know how to describe it.

It has like the short sleeve. The sleeve is folded on top of the shirt. Right. And the text is just pasted on top of all of it. So it looks as if part of the words are on the sleeve. And if you open it up, they would just like take some of the words with them. Some of the letters. Some of the letters.

Sorry. So, yeah, it's basically like very obviously somebody just copy pasted this text or typed it on top of this picture without even thinking of the sleeve being covering some of the wording um so that's uh so so nothing's wrong with it you sticking to that i'd be curious to order it i am curious but i will say the reviews were all positive so i feel like okay i'm getting a little suspicious of this place if every now especially looking at this photo you're saying every all these reviews are so positive of these items because people who buy something like this tell me generalize no but people like our father

no people who buy a shirt like this they buy it because they think it's funny like and it shows up and what like there's not much room to go wrong you can print it on the sleeve well i don't think they actually print it on the sleeve i think that's just the like sample photo they show you know what i mean yeah oh yeah i mean but that's a really shitty sample but i don't think people again this is like Boomer Sky Mall for gift giving. I don't think. Boomer Sky Mall is one of the most crotchety people. They're old.

I don't think they look at that and go, wow, my shirt came and it didn't have three of the letters missing. Here's a five star review by Marietta Verified Buyer. The title is Please God, Let This Happen. Oh, no. Please God, Let This Happen. Wonderful message. Exactly how I feel about all three social platforms, and I belong to none.

End of review. So, okay, this person, this is a verified purchase? What? Just bought it for herself. This is is like a for them like maybe a conversation starter an anti-social media conversation yeah you know how like i think sometimes people like these graphic teases like a way to like express themselves like sarcasm meter yes 99 loading or whatever that's actually sarcastic comment loading that's literally the example you gave on the bonus episode. And so I think people, you know, will wear that out and be like, now people get me. Yeah.

In my whole thing, you know? Yeah, that's fair. So I feel like with a lot of these, the only negatives are like, oh, it was hard to read or like the shirt was too small. Yeah, because half of it was on the sleeve. Yeah. Okay, not this one but some of them like uh some well i will say one of the negative review it was not it was like half negative review it's like three stars and they wrote i'm they wrote that they invented that

phrase stop this one yeah did they tweet it they were like somebody must have heard me say it out loud that's hilarious i believe it though i don't because i just googled it and they're like endless minion memes saying you twit face hilarious i'm just saying this person's convinced that someone here at this company signals catalog oh heard her say this phrase oh you do believe it yeah yeah no i'm on this reviewer's side okay great i think i think signals catalog see like you said it's like the sharper image type thing they sent one of those teddy bear cams to that person and listened in because they knew that person has a great sense of humor. And sure enough, they get this idea from them by spying on them day in and day night.

It doesn't seem like a very wise decision because you know that they're going to be shopping on your website since they bought a teddy bear cam from you. So like then... It's the voice of one versus millions.'re right but you you're now there's look how you've ridiculed i didn't you ridiculed and and and i decided to believe this poor person and now you are on their side and now there are two there are two of them no you oh i was like no that second person heretic heretic i'm out i don't believe the second one uh i see yes there are two of us against the world against signals catalog yeah yeah against big brother if you had your way okay what look you'd all you'd send people are

canvas pictures of horses or whatever trust me you're correct all signals catalog would be but thank goodness we have the the smart minds like my friend there who had had an amazing idea stolen but i'm glad the idea wasn't stolen she said they paid her 25 000 for that quote make up, Christina. Don't you dare lie to me. I'm not. I am. Okay. I have another Peruvian Connection review.

This is of their Chicago location. This is a one-star review, and it's by Rachel. Yes, it looks like a nice store, but it's expensive, and 80% of the merchandise doesn't come from Peru, a claim made by one of the attendants. Most of the items that I looked at were from Indonesia or even the US, and the ladies working there could not give me any other information about their store once I told them that I was Peruvian. Their items are expensive and not authentic. I was very disappointed. Death not worth the time. If you want that Peruvian connection, come to my apartment.

It's more authentic than this store. Come to my apartment! It's more authentic than this store, and I don't have clueless sales ladies. End of review. Okay. What if she was like, my sales ladies are actually very well trained. I don't have a clue of sales ladies, but I have some really top notch sales ladies. And they'll give you the Peruvian connection. They, yeah.

I feel like she needs to open a Peruvian connection, but like spell it with an X, like connection. Yeah. You know, just to really. And I feel like she could really like swoop in and uh steal the market from this peruvian connection um i'm starting to think maybe my alpaca hat wasn't from there because i know dad also went to an actual alpaca farm last year oh so i think maybe that's where it was from well um i just know he's gonna listen to this and be like that's already written just know he's going to listen to this and be like, that's not what I'm... He's already written an email. He's already written a review and an email.

You did it too late. You should have edited that earlier. Oh, Lord. But I love... So at first I was rolling my eyes saying like 80% of the merchandise doesn't come from Peru. I'm like, well, yeah, why would you assume that? And then they were like, that's the claim that they made. And I was like, oh, okay.

If they're claiming that, then that's... Oh, I thought the claim that they made... Oh, I thought the claim that one of the people made was that, like, 80% of it does not come from... So you're saying... They're saying, yeah, they're saying 80% does not come from Peru. Even though that's what they claim. A claim made by one of the attendants. Got it. Okay.

Got it, got it, got it. Yeah, that is definitely pretty shitty and and pretty shady and i love how they're like and then i told them i'm peruvian they couldn't answer anything oh yeah i guess if your name is is that you kind of do have to have at least a basic understanding yeah um your turn okay you brought something up did i it was the teddy bear camp. Yeah, I did. Did you Google or search for one on our website? No, but it reminded me of something that was in the Signals catalog that we discussed in the Patreon episode. And it's a little someone I like to call Stinky Boy. Stinky Boy.

And he has not reached this level of the podcast. No. And honestly, this is another reason why I've been waiting for my chance to discuss Stinkboy on. We get a lot of Stinkboy comments on Patreon saying, hey, release the Stinkboy. Release him. No one says that, but. Release him from what? From the Patreon only.

Oh, oh, oh. Introduce him to the rest of the crowd. Well, that's really thoughtful of them to say like, oh, he deserves to be given to the masses. Because originally we said he's a mascot for the patrons only. Yes, yes. Here's my chance to bring Stinky Boy to the masses. And I think things are going to really change from here on out so if we're ready for this i mean i'm ready okay i sure hope so you have a stinky boy downstairs

i do okay here we go let me catch you all up if you're not a patron stinky boy is actually better known as sculpture of a boy holding his nose okay that's the title did you say better known as should be better known as stinky boy i said also known oh also known okay okay so the official tight artist formerly known as sculpture of a boy holding his nose and it's this like creepy little hey no stinky little he's a creepy little dude and he holds his nose and it's something stinky yeah exactly and like the idea is you put him in your bathroom he's a little bathroom decor that's it's it's hard to really give any more context outside of just the reviews so i'm gonna read the reviews here i'm gonna read so some of them were just in the patreon episode so

go listen to that if you want to hear the full spectrum of stinky boy and our discovery of stinky boy but i have some reviews here some new ones one thing we said during the bonus was people love this stinky boy. People love him. Yeah, it's like an obsession. It's like he has his own cult fan base. He has his allure. His allure can't be denied for sure. And here is a five star review by Doris.

Title is Boy Holding His Nose. Really love this little guy. Made him a cute little night hat with big poofy ball. It's always so funny when someone meets him the first time, no matter their age. End of review. You just gotta love Stink Boy. Even the people in their late 20s early 30s love meeting my stinky boy i gotta say true he's in my bathroom although the one that you got you said you're annoyed with

because it was different than the photo his head was chopped off his head is in fact half off like i think he's like a vase or something he's meant to hold i don't know toilet paper i don't know i have no idea i don't know but the picture when i ordered him he had a full head and here he's like has like a hole in the top yeah maybe we can actually post something on instagram if you uh take a selfie of yourself yes oh that's a great idea yeah and honestly if i do post that, and I say if, I should say when I do post that, can people suggest a fun way for me to display him in the bathroom? Because he has this like opening on top. I don't know if that's best for flowers or.

I mean, do you know if there's a hole at the bottom? I don't believe so. Okay. Then if I were you, I just fill it with like Diet Dr. Pepper. What the fuck, Alexander? I don't believe so. Okay, then if I were you, I'd just fill it with Diet Dr. Pepper. What the fuck, Alexander? I don't know. Sometimes when I empty myself, I would like to fill myself back up with Diet Dr. Pepper. Why would you say that to me?

Wasn't that from last week? There was a last review I said that said, when I empty myself. Oh my God. That was in one of the soap reviews. Very relevant with the stinky boy in the bathroom. Soap, you know. I'm going to read one more just for fun. Oh, remember the one, the lady, I'm not going to read it, but the lady who is remodeling her bathroom in the color of his shirt.

She's like, I'm having a bathroom remodeled in the color of his shirt. She's like, she's like, I'm having a bathroom remodeled in the color of his shirt. I was like, that's how deep this fandom goes. Okay. Incredible. Forget Pink Panther.

I'm on the Stink Boy train. Yeah. And the other thing we were so confused about was that like his name's not Stinky Boy. Like it just says Boy Holding Nose.

It's true. But like it's just developed this lore around it where people call him Stinky Boy or Stink Boy, Mr. Stink. So here's one more view I'm going to read right now. It's a five star review by Janine. The title is What Duh? With a bunch of question marks and exclamation points. Stinky Boy was purchased as an item of contemplation for the Powder Room, hidden in plain sight, slightly behind a fern.

He became the topic of many comical conversations by my guests. I purchased a second one for my godson. His Stinky doubles as a year-long elf on the shelf and has a habit of showing up in many unorthodox places. Most fun gift purchase i've made in some time end of review i love it we're seeing now like there's different ways you can uh engage with stink boy there should be a stuffed stink boy that i can give to leona a stuffed stink boy we gotta look into that we will okay i'm a stinky boy we gotta post a picture stink boy if you just search like sculpture of a boy holding his nose you'll see like how he looks kind of

gremlin-y but in like a way where you grow pretty quickly endeared to it yes and he has like this adorable little sweater that's been like hand kind of etched to have like little texture on it like he's a cutie he's a cutie in like the most gremlin-y way yeah and he's not the one stinking up your bathroom you are he's just in the wrong place at the wrong time yeah yeah so true um all right uh my last place i have a couple reviews no no you know what i'm not going there yet because i just remembered i have a costco review I'd like to read first. Oh, great. It's a five-star review.

Here is a review. This is by Franny. I fucking love Costco. It's a gymnasium of fun, cheap things in bulk. Need a sectional sofa? They have it. Diamond bracelets? Yep.

Gluten-free snacks? Mm-hmm. Yes, they have that too. Employees always seem to be very willing to assist and answer my questions. Prices are reasonable and the interior of the store is spotless and organized. End of review. Wow. And they included lots of pictures.

Oh my. Including diamond bracelets. Oh, did they buy them? I can't tell. They're still behind glass here, so probably not. I thought like, oh, diamond bracelets. Yeah, you could get those here. Check out my bling.

I think they brought it up in this because they are $4,500 for a bracelet. So, yeah. Oh, my, my, my, my. My, oh, my. That's not cheapo. let's see what we got next what we got next you know they've got some cute stuff on here i'm not gonna lie to you where on the signals catalog i'm so excited for you yeah you're just like doing your research well i just feel like uh oh okay well now this first wall plaque that i found says how cool is it that the same god who created mountains and oceans and galaxies thought the world needed one of you two you know what i gotta

say sarcasm or is that like i mean i think it's nice your. Your tone of voice made it sound very sarcastic. Sorry. How cool is it that you are as cool as the stars that God made? No, you're still not doing it. Oh, okay. You're doing it so wrong. You'd be a terrible, terrible youth pastor. What?

I really, no, I'm serious. That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. Yeah, I'll say it again, too. You'd be the worst youth pastor. Man, he you've ever said to me. Yeah, I'll say it again, too. You'd be the worst youth pastor. Man, he's always saying that to me. But no, think about it. Think about it. Look at me.

How cool is it? How cool is it that God made stars, made the cliffs, made the beautiful seas, and also made you? How special is that? I want to throw up. You're right, I'm a terrible youth pastor. You're a good one, on the other hand. Thank you. Yeah, you really, you could probably, if this career doesn't work out, you got a place to go.

I bet there's some money in that, exploiting people. Hey, you and I. Talk to me we call up the national catholic register and we say we have a double deal here for you i market your mailers because i know how to get those those things open by people and i'll host the podcast and you yeah you do all the dear god you're the brains behind all of it my heart's to think about well the review of this, the God who created galaxies and created you also, and isn't that just great? It is. Here's one five-star review by Roseanne.

A great Christmas gift for my pastor and 95-year-old aunt. Both find it very special and unique. Are those the same person? That's what I was wondering as i see pastor and 95 year old aunt or the pastor is also your 95 year old aunt could be i just know it couldn't be you couldn't be me and not just because i'm not a 95 year old aunt but also because you've already determined that I cannot be a good pastor. Or youth pastor, whatever you said to me. Here's a review.

I'm planning to give it as a gift to a special priest. Oh. Okay. Why is that so weird? I don't know. Like, it is, but why? Oh, my God. All right, sorry, your turn.

Oh, it is? Yeah. I'm just, like, reading. It's like reading what are you even doing i don't know are you like done you're just looking through the catalog no i have a couple more but okay you wanted to finish or something because i'm i'm on my last place you are okay um let me see i was just gonna read some reviews of Boy, so we can do that at the end. Okay, because I have the best place that I've, of all the ones that my eyes went straight to it. Okay. Gethsemane Farms. Yeah. Okay.

And I also included like the Gethsemane, I can't even fucking say it. Gethsemane. Gethsemane? Yeah. Gethsemane? So basically it's these monks, they're Trappist monks who love God. Oh, good. And there are 40 of them about.

They're located near Louisville, Kentucky. That's where I was this weekend. Nice. We did a little different things than what these Trappist monks probably do. Oh, I thought you would say, and then stop by. It seems like a lovely place. But it says that Trappists have lived prayed and worked in this house of the lord the the proto abbey of north america for over 170 years it seems like a just

a kind of a chill place yeah i don't know i i i don't have any really much to say about it it's a bunch of trappist monks doing their thing you know i have stuff to say because dad got his presents from we did get those mugs those beautiful mugs those are nice and also those oil lamps or whatever yes yes yeah true are they oil lamps i think so yeah i will say if their food was like their fruitcakes and stuff were vegan i'd give one a try all right they sell a five pound bourbon fruitcake whoa i love these monks yeah and then a bunch of like chocolate bourbon things and bourbon fudge and i had a big bourbon weekend so oh oh wow because we were we went to buffalo trace so these folks also saw a lot of bourbon yeah yeah so they said they even say on

their website they might not have invented bourbon fudge but they perfected it wow that's pretty bold it is yeah i've actually asked them to take that claim down yeah um and remove catholic from their anyway so basically it's a bunch of monks chilling doing their thing oh and you can go there for like a retreat a spiritual retreat whether you're religious or not. That's a very, supposedly very peaceful property, peaceful place to go and relax. You can just kind of like re-center yourself and stuff. You can like stay there and stuff. I feel like I

want to do that, but maybe not with monks. I'm not sure about that part. You don't have to be in their room, I don't think. I feel like LA offers some maybe less religious ones. Yeah, that's the thing. So I have a review first of the Gethsemane Farms. Okay. So this is the food thing, side of things.

Is it by Bob and Tink? Sure. Two stars. Paid over $30 for shipping for a two and a half pound fruitcake and three different 12 ounce fudges. Ordered two separate days. Been over two weeks and fudge is missing in outer space somewhere. USPC tracking a joke.

So I finally get the fruitcake, the one everyone on Facebook raves about. It is full of hard citrus pieces, barely a cherry. Pineapple? Bourbon, if at all, not a hint of, and a few pecans on the top. Maybe a few other kinds, but could not tell what inside. The cake was mostly cake and had a sandy texture. Probably all the crumbs left in the chopping of the nuts in the mixer, but sandy. Been ordering fruitcakes for over 60 years now.

Wondering what the fudge will be like if we ever get it that is the company could care less their answer to me on the phone as to where my order was when i said it's been in kentucky for a week and has not moved was oh well i was flabbergasted and hung up went to their facebook page and they stopped answering me when i asked for my shipping charges to be refunded several others are also asking in posts i thought it the right thing to do message them did not want to say anything bad on a post but after getting the cake yesterday i finally posted as the cake was bad and they are not responding to me what happened to care about what you do leave these monks alone right dear lord i feel like that they they hung up on them i mean they're making a fruitcake it's just such a funny thing to like

be so angry about and also i love that they've been ordering fruitcakes for over 60 years and they're just like this is my worst fruitcake experience yet wow okay basically that's a great point so essentially they received this fruitcake and i'm interested about the part where they said they were eating it because i feel like a lot of times you order a fruitcake as like a gift for someone else if you're ordering them for 60 years i assume it's for yourself yeah and then when you when you said the 60 years, I assume it's for yourself at that point. Yeah, and then when you said the 60 years, I was like, okay, they probably are connoisseurs. There's no way someone has allowed you to gift them a fruitcake for over 60 years. Yeah, I would.

What do you mean? There's no way that they've known someone for 60 years who has been receiving these fruitcakes without complaining. Haven't you heard about that? Where people are like, oh, God, another fruitcake. Yeah, I know. But like 60 plus years of ordering fruitcakes. At that Haven't you heard about that? Where people are like, oh God, another fruitcake. Yeah, I know. But like 60 plus years of ordering fruitcakes. At that point, it's too late to say no. It's got to be for yourself at some point, no?

Yeah, I guess. I guess you at least have to try it if you're ordering that many. You have to have... A fruitcake seems like a cop-out kind of traditional thing to buy people. Yeah. But it's interesting that they get it from different places yeah the kind of unique part about this gift is oh it was made by these like local well probably not local to them but like local trappist monks who like you know money goes and like funds their

retreats and whatever i mean it's not like you're buying it off amazon yeah they have like i think the trappists they have a like a yearly trip they do they go to um i think circus circus in vegas and so if you buy their fruit cakes the money goes towards their their trip that's why they're called trappist bunks oh tell me more well trap music oh yes that circus circus is their go-to go-to. They go to Vegas for any clubbing opportunities. Got it, got it. That makes sense. Over the years, they collect, throughout the year, they collect all those promo cards that promotions people hand out.

Yeah, yeah. And then they take all the money they make on fruitcakes. And buy all the trap music. And then they go to all these promotional club events. Got it. That makes a lot of sense, actually, Christina. Cool. No, it's really good to know.

Really great. I wrote it down, too, just for my knowledge. I have a headache. Do you want one more Trappist review? Yes. Okay, so this is my last one. This is a four-star review. Sorry, it's not a funny review.

Here we go. The title is Not a Catholic, Beautiful Spiritual Retreat. And this is of the Abbey of Gethsemane in Kentucky. Four stars. Six months after my wife of 47 years passed away, I went to the Abbey to take time for myself, reflect, and clear my soul. Stayed three nights. It was a wonderful place for my venture. I would recommend the Abbey highly.

End of review. The fruitcake, not so much. That's only four stars. Speaking of our podcast. That's my favorite part was that they only left four stars. Left very emotional thing a little too sandy it was too sandy a little too sandy fruitcake too sandy now that happy holidays from beach to sandy we're now selling a fruitcake in our store sandy fruitcake sandy fruitcake and that's the point of it It's supposed to be sandy Honestly can we Because that way

I can have a vegan one Because it would have to be vegan And it would probably be sandy Because it's vegan Famously Just kidding But speaking of merch We have Wessel pins in stock

Oh yeah we have Wessel pins And they're so effing cute They are so cute I already messaged patrons But we hadn't announced it in the episode last week. Oh, we forgot. Yeah. Whoops.

Well, it's been a week that the patrons get special access. That wasn't really something you signed up for, but you're so welcome. Here we are. Maybe we'll do that in the future. Wink, wink. Oh, my gosh. Sign up at patreon.com slash beach suit Sandy. Okay.

So I'm trying to decide the best way to go about this i have a couple shirts i just wanted to read you oh because i've added new ones since the last holiday of course collection so this one is a t-shirt that says i became a librarian for the money the power and fame were just a bonus must you have this school bus driver oh yeah things that i found those are so good uh here's a shirt it says vertically grandma nancy and then a next to it kind of like an acrostic except they don't do an acrostic. It's just the text in a column and then the rest of the text next to it. And it's positive attributes t-shirt. So I'll read you the positive attributes.

Okay, please. Grandma Nancy. And then in Comic Sans, this is the list. Patient. Kind. Does not envy. Does not boast. Not rude.

Not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. And then in all capital letters, never fails. Oh. Which I think is what love does, according to Corinthians. Amen. Isn't that right? Yeah, I think so. The wedding verse. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love. That makes you cry every time you hear it? Yeah, it's embarrassing because That's the wedding verse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love. That makes you cry every time you hear it? Yeah, it's embarrassing because it's so cliche, but love does not boast. You're such a loser. But guess what? Grandma Nancy also does not boast. And I bet you someone saw that at the cookout and rolled their fucking eyes. I thought Grandma Nancy made someone cry.

Grandma Nancy is full of shit. I mean, does not. She's not's not rude okay can i be honest here i don't think grandma nancy bought this for herself but if she did if she did she is a lot of explaining is not boastful okay yeah no exactly wearing that shirt around it's like a kind of uh doesn't quite work if you're going to buy this for yourself. But I will say a lot of people buy these for themselves. So, you know, you never know. What bothered me about that shirt.

It's a shirt, right? Yes. Why have all the negative words on it? You know, instead of a positive attribute, it's like a, oh, well, Grandma and the Auntie is not this. Like not, like what were some of the things yeah um let's see does not envy okay but like not boast not rude not rude why don't you just say polite kind caring caring there's so many positive words why is it all about keeps no record of wrong it's just like doth it's like that d too much. Like, why do you keep insisting that Nancy does all these things in such?

True. It's like, why do you need that on a t-shirt? Nancy would scare me. If I saw that, I'd be like. Nancy does scare me. Nancy absolutely scares me. Was that your last one? Yeah.

Okay. This shirt says, it takes a real man to walk a Yorkie. That's hilarious. I love it. yeah and then there's a review by nanky poo uh five stars who wrote it does indeed this shirt was a perfect gift for my husband for christmas as a matter of fact it was his favorite gift okay That's funny. Okay, so I wanted to bring back a review of Stink Boy. Mm-hmm. Because now that- Revisiting it?

Yeah, that's fair. We're bringing him into the zeitgeist, finally. And I feel like it's about time. Stink Boy. What a guy. What a guy. I can't wait for the Beach 2 Sandy X Stink Boy merch exclusives. Collab?

Yeah, the collabs that happen. Wow. I don't know what kind of collab. I don't know, but I cannot wait. The opportunities are literally endless. Oh, I can't wait. Okay. So do you think Signals will carry it? Yeah. No. Yeah. You just said yeah, no, yeah.

Yeah, they are they will they are they are they just emailed me they agreed yeah okay great so this is a five star review by charlie okay 10 stars omg this is the cutest funniest looking little boy i have three adult sons who i've played jokes on throughout their childhood this is all capital letters i ordered three one for each son then one day i went by to visit each of them and before i left i acted like i needed to use the restroom took the little guy out of my purse and put him on the back of the toilet no one knowing what i did said my i love you goodbye and proceeded to the next two sons houses did the Did the same thing. By the time I got home, each one had called me laughing so hard about this little guy holding his nose.

We all had a great laugh on something they will always remember. The little boy holding his nose is worth every penny to me. Incredible. Incredible. So true. It's just like. It's worth all the pennies in the world. God.

God. And then here's. He is. He is. God. And then here's... He is. He is. God? Yeah. Alexander, if you don't take that Catholic out of your name right now... No, no.

You're going to be smited. Yeah, that's even worse. I think that is what got the National Catholic Reporter in trouble, was their allegiance to Stinky Boy and Stink Boy instead of the Pope. Yeah, well, they put it out to be fair they put out a poll they wanted to be democratic as possible they put out a poll and the overwhelming majority was we vote stink boy well you know what's crazy is those votes were by cardinals they weren't even by the late late people it was the cardinals and then but it just didn't work out

what did the bishops say i don't want to i can't repeat those words okay talk about blasphemy oh boy okay so this is by judy verified buyer it's my last review of stinky boy the stinky boy and then in uh brackets uh-huh the stinky boy who looks to me like an old man but i love it very much end of review yep he does kind of look like an old man i see it yeah um he also does look like a boy so it's weird it's like what is it that 13 or 30 i think that's why when i look at it i always kind of go huh um but then you just really grow accustomed to him if that were a real boy i think that boy would need to see a doctor asap oh certainly something would be wrong there's a yeah um okay so this is the last of it i just want to read you a couple

shirts that i found for fun this says, you matter unless... Sorry. I was like, aw, uh-oh. Oh, no, no, no. You matter unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then,

you energy. They got me. They got me. They got me with that one. That's real good. Okay, let's see. Oh, boy. This is another one. I assume I'll die when my stack of unread books falls on me.

What? I assume I'll die yeah jesus like i get it like i i'm the same way oh i've got all these books i still need to read yeah but my first thought isn't wow this stack of books that kill me it's gonna be the end of me oh my god it'll crush my thorax i'll never be able to breathe again okay here's another one fish tremble when they hear my name okay that's it i was expecting like that's that's perfect don't get me wrong but like i thought maybe this was ironic um because people kind of like to make those kind of bass pro shop yeah but no because i read the description and it said for the fishermen whether fly or not in your life fly or not fish tremble when they hear my name okay and now here's another good one

uh i guess and it's in like a very cutesy like cursive font okay okay to me a used bookstore is an orphanage of books that need a loving home no that makes no sense it's also like really that's not okay no i don't think that's the thing you should say you know um and by the way the person who bought this uh for their there was a person who bought it for That's the last thing you should say, you know? Boy. And by the way, the person who bought this, there was a person who bought it for their friend and was like, she's wearing it to our local Barnes & Noble this weekend. And I'm like, that's not even a used bookstore. That's hilarious. Like, what do you mean?

This is where all the brand new books are getting picked up. Yeah, because this friend's like, I don't want an orphan. Yeah, exactly. I have orphans. I'm above that. I want to take my pick of the creme de la creme i need unless she goes to the bargain book section which is my favorite place i didn't know that was a thing in barnes and noble oh really they have shelves i just have been going to half price books that's where you find a lot of the like tarot and like random recipe books it's just especially in old kentucky and ohio oh yeah for sure they're like yep they are not selling here if they make it there then that's where they can make it any oh wait oh if they make

it never mind if they make it there they could probably make it anywhere that's why they have that's why so i was talking to kevin and christ Christina and Dee about this because they're like, why is it that Dayton, Ohio is a place that has, what was it? I think it was like a Taco Bell beyond, like it was a beyond, like a vegan substitute. But they're like Dayton, Ohio. And I'm like, yeah, because if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. It's a test market. It is such a good, it is. Central Ohio is like the test market for all of those chains.

Because, yeah, if people there like it, you know, LA is not really the most, like, impartial. It's not going to give them a good read on where to put them. On, like, middle America, you know? Yeah, so. So this is the last one I want to read you. It's a t-shirt that says i bought a chicken from one website and an egg from another i'll let you know talk about subtle talk about subtle um so those are the ones that i found so stupid and there

were some really good ones that i did not bring because i wanted to keep some just for patreon so if you do want to listen to those they are still on the episode on patreon from december 2021 i think it would be fun for us to do that again this year reviews of gifts we got sounds like a plan uh at the like you got a fox cd yes that was one thing you read reviews of yeah because blaze had gotten you a fox, as in Yelp, Elite Fox CD. And we talked about that and you read a review. And then one thing we talked about, which I'd totally forgotten, besides the Cricut board project I promised you, is that you had suggested doing a vision board from a Signals catalog as like my tiktok series like oh yeah doing like a vision board

style um cutting out pictures from the signals catalog so i don't know i still might do that because i'm now collecting all the signals catalogs perfect i'm glad and uh important stuff maybe so i don't know go to our tiktok it's beach to sandy and gmail doc no it's not it's beach to sandy yeah on t TOK and Instagram. We'll post stink boy. Um, and I'll post a picture with my stink boy. Yes. Important.

Very important. And yeah, that's all I think. Right. Yeah. I guess we need a theme and challenge or how are we going to do it? We don't know the theme yet. I forget. I don't even know what the top vote is.

Go vote. If you want. Patreon.com slash beach to Sandy. Um, I think it it's gonna be my challenge you want to give me one quick okay sure wait no wait the soap one was i think it's mine i think it's fine so i'm gonna edit a little bit but this is uh from michelle posted in a patreon comment for a challenge okay so it's your challenge michelle said a challenge with reviews of jewelry stores where the review blames the ring or the store for a breakup

or the jewelry for a breakup or jewelry for a fight something like something negative where they blame the that happened with their partner that they blame the jewelry store for so i don't want to necessarily like it might be hard to be like to find an engagement broken up because of a ring but like yes just that's a general idea of like fight happening or something negative that they blame the jewelry store or the jewelry amazing okay i'm gonna start digging tonight but folks when you hear this episode if you have any ideas you can feel free to email those in give it give me a hand um that would be beach g sandy at gmail.com yep and otherwise sorry dad and i will uh get get cutting on that vinyl for you zany to make you a beautiful beautiful cloud shirt huh the cloud

shirt oh i was gonna make you the one that you you demanded which uh was pants. You mean leg prisms? I want both now. But now you want cloud? Oh, come on. I want both. Get to work. Thank you. Bye. Bye.

Bye.