Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 210: Reviews of Hallmark Christmas Movies

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

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Of the year. Of the... No. Of the... Of the year. Of the... No. Of the... Of the year. Of... What are you trying to do? Of the year.

Fuck me. Welcome to Beachy Sandy Water 2. The podcast where we... Why are you making that face? I don't know. I'm very alarmed right now. Okay. We are here to tell you about Hallmark Movies.

This was such a great idea yeah but now i want to do hallmark movies for every month i know every potential holiday i have lots of reviews and i probably should have saved some for another season yeah we should just do this four times in december i think we should do it every single week just just to get through all of the wild films that exist i had no idea there were this many there are like every year they come out with like a whole new slate yes christmas movies yes holiday originals to the point where people are recognizing like you know like they're the lead people and then they're the background people there's like a whole canon around all these.

There's so much. It's like a whole universe, like a Hallmark Cinematic Universe. And I don't recognize any of the names, pretty much. I do now after reading so many reviews. Yeah, and I was like very, I'm impressed at this whole seedy underbelly of films exists. I even learned about certain dog actors who got replaced. Amazing, Amazing. I mean I've never felt so

shocked to enter a world that I thought would be harmless. It's kind of like soap operas. You know that's something when I first learned about how deep those soap operas go and how long like how many episodes these people do. It's so similar. And like yeah you might not recognize their names

but they are a big deal to a huge group of people. and how they get these big fan followings who like get really invested it is really similar it's it's honestly pretty cool i love it for these people i feel like what if you're if you're an actor in a hallmark film or one of the recurring roles or i mean different roles i guess recurring actors if you're bailey the dog or exactly i feel like that's quite the gig you've made it that seems great i'm impressed and i have a lot so maybe maybe you go first okay i don't have that many but i also have the challenge if you don't go if you don't live in a place where hallmark channel exists exists and you've never heard of it, I pity you. But it is a channel

where they show kind of cheesy made-for-TV films throughout the year. It's just considered very... What's the word? Camp? Camp, maybe? I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

And at Christmastime, they go hard. Yes. And at Christmas time, they go hard. Yes. And Hallmark also has a store. I don't know which came first. But they sell greeting cards and ornaments. Hallmark is... They invented Valentine's Day.

Yes, it's like its own... It's like... Yes. So it's a whole thing you know they've just basically perfected capitalizing on sentimentality almost yeah nice wow this is my thesis i was about to say i should get a doctorate in this i feel like i have a doctorate in this after reading 4 000 reviews um okay Okay, so Hallmark movies. I sent Alexander a list of like the four or five I looked up. And unfortunately, it was four or five out of like 500 because I mean, I imagine it was not hard for you to avoid those.

No, I kept checking your list because I didn't see any of those in the list that I was looking at. So I thought, man, like, am I just... We're just on different planes of the home. There's so many different neighborhoods among this whole world. Okay, I'm getting a little far away. I'm losing the metaphor. I'm losing the metaphor. Okay.

The first film I looked up is called Cherished Memories, colon, A Gift to Remember 2. Whoa. Yeah. And the 2 is important. Okay. Now, this was a 2019 made-for-TV Christmas movie. And I'm just going to start with a 2 out of 10 review on IMDb

by a user named Pioneer Spirit Goods. I don't know. And the title of this review is A Gift to Take Back. Oh. And the first letter of every word is capitalized. Oh, okay. One of those. Just so you're aware.

One of those. The ending was the best. The whole show was random happenings. Just so you're aware. One of those. The ending was the best. The whole show was random happenings. That didn't make sense. Example, saving the rec center? If there's another one, in case you feel the need to redeem, can she at least have a cute car this time? End of review.

It sounds like an AI wrote this. That was not real. It does, but look, every word has a noun. That doesn't make me think that an AI didn't write it. Yeah, yeah. That makes me think even more so that an AI wrote this. Six out of nine people found this helpful, so it did speak to someone. Maybe more robots, but I don't know. Six out of nine robots.

Those other three robots were like, no, this doesn't advance my dictionary. I think they were just unplugged. Probably. What the heck? At least give her a cute car next time. I love that. You know, maybe it was a typo and it meant to say cat because she has a dog. But like, that doesn't make sense either.

None of it really makes sense. And their name isn't giving us any hint. No, Pioneer Spirit Goods doesn't give me much context. I wish they went on the Oregon Trail next time. That would make sense. Can she at least have a cute Cuyahoga wagon? Is that how you say it? Conestoga.

I have no idea what you're saying, but I like it. Canestoga wagon? Canestoga. Cuyahoga? Cuyahoga is like a place thing. Ravioli? I don't know.

Canestoga wagon. I know what you're trying to to say i don't think you've said it though conestoga conestoga wagon conestoga wagon okay yes can she oh those other three robots said this is advancing actually they're saying this is totally depleting my dictionary you've broken broken the English language. Thank you. Can she have a cute Conestoga wagon? See, that would make sense. What if I cut the rest of it out and just left that? As if you didn't mess it up like six times? I just knew.

Yeah, no, no. No one's going to believe it anyway. No, they're not. My first review comes from the movie Cancel Christmas. Santa Claus discovers children have become too greedy and must prove otherwise before his favorite holiday is canceled this is a movie exclusively for boomers about millennials okay uh santa's mission is to teach two incorrigible children the important the importance of charity geez so this uh first i have two of them from this one but i'll just read one for now.

This is a 2 out of 10, titled Painfully Creepy by Bored78. This movie was painfully creepy to watch. The plot was typical of a Christmas movie and had potential to be a good movie, but it was poorly written and executed. Santa and his elf came off as very creepy.

Like, the kind of creepy in which you wouldn't let your children within 1,000 feet of them. This was one of the worst portrayals of Santa and an elf I've ever seen. I didn't like Santa, and I didn't like the elf. And I should like these characters, but I didn't. I tried to like them, but couldn't even force myself to like them. I wanted Santa to fail and go to jail for something, because I really felt like that's where him and his creepy elf belonged. This movie's a waste of time unless you like watching bad movies. End of review.

It seems like there's more than just bad movie. Unless you like watching a predator in a Santa costume. They weren't the only one to mention creepiness. Interesting. You know what? I think what really rubs me the wrong way is that Santa has like a

companion who's like also creepy. Like the fact that they're both creepy seems like, oh, this isn't a good setup. No. Whatever they've got going on

seems problematic. Especially when it's someone who has magical abilities to be anywhere at any time and what no i meant like they can they can like the way that he travels around the world to deliver gifts and stuff like what does this elf want like isn't the elf why is elf there i don't i didn't watch this movie i gotta say i don't think I've seen a single Hallmark movie. Well, that's your... That's a big...

I'm not proud of that. That's a big mistake. I'm not proud of it. I'm just saying. Have you seen any of the bingo boards? No, that's not what you're talking about. And then Hallmark tries to sell them and I'm like, no, you guys don't get it. You guys don't get it because it's like holding hands, beautiful snow.

And then the ones that are like homemade by other people are way funnier. Of course. I mean, like creepy Santa and his predator elf. Wow. That seems troubling. Yeah. I don't think I want to watch that one. I kind of do.

Okay. Well, you know what? Agree to disagree. Move you know what agree to disagree move on disagree uh i feel like i gave you the review of of the second one you know i'm gonna read you one more review of the second one and then because i before going back to the first yeah for some reason okay yeah understood trying to decide if i should read them yeah i'm gonna read you the log line of the flick okay this is cherished memories a gift to remember too as darcy and aiden prepare to celebrate their second christmas together an unexpected guest and a fight to save the beloved community center unites everyone for an unforgettable holiday is this like an alien

or is it just like a mother-in-law an alien i don't know an unexpected guest could be a lot of things oh who comes in to try to mess things up oh oh oh i didn't even follow what you were asking a rail baron who wants to tear down the uh that's just so hallmark no it's to tear down the rec center to put a railway up. No, I bet it's a millennial who wants to put up a smoothie store or like a juice. True. Tropical smoothie cafe. Tropical smoothie cafe. Those edible straws.

It's probably a CBD shop. I know. No. They wouldn't. I'm sure that word is not allowed on any of these films. Okay. So here is the title of the five star review. Haven't seen the first one yet review says i never saw the first part and so i dove headlong into this sequel

why didn't the first one get aired yet or maybe i just missed it last week who knows well this is meant to be seen after the original that much is certain i could tell this takes up where a story left off so so I'm left wondering, who are these people? When did they get together? When did he lose his memory? Why is he having a checkup at the hospital? What is going on here? So I think the lead characters are both adorable, but I'm not familiar with them at all, and the script totally has no depth or standalone qualities. You have to see the first one before taking the plunge into this one. And so I stuck around for about 35 minutes and moved on.

Maybe I will watch the first one someday. What? End of review. What? Okay, even big blockbuster films, if you miss the first one, you're probably going to want to watch it before you watch the second one. Yeah, it seems like- Let alone a Hallmark Christmas movie.

Yeah, I think if you're watching the sequel, it's not really going to stand alone. No. It's probably not. But I'm surprised this person expected it to. Yeah, I know. And I think that they didn't realize how silly it sounded when they said, well, I missed the first one so that's why i dove headlong into the second one i would at least hope though that the movie would

tell you who these people are but i guess not i don't know a mysterious head injury definitely would confuse me as well um and i want to also point out that if you're watching what i have this is for some reason the only thing that popped in my head. I haven't even seen it. I think Ant-Man and the Wasp or whatever is like the second one. If you go into that and be like, who the heck is this Ant-Man character? Is it Ant like the bug or Ant like Aunt Susan? I'm confused.

I thought Aunt Susan was going to be in here battling a wasp's nest. Why did he have a checkup at the hospital? No, yeah. I don't know. I'm just, I'm trying to, I can't come up with good examples. I feel like there aren't that many sequels that I've, like the second Finding Nemo or Finding Dory, whatever, the sequel. Finding Dory, whatever, the sequel. Like, if you just watched that, sure, maybe it'll be fun.

But you'd miss so much because you have no idea why Dory has... Who are these fish? Is who she is. Hey, how did she lose her memory? Exactly. They actually probably do cover that. They probably do. That's actually probably the only thing we learned in that film. That's true.

I feel like that wasn't even really touched upon as much in the first one. So bad example, Zandy. Okay, okay. Never mind. Hallmark, be better at your sequels. I want to tell you. I want to tell you who the guest is. Oh, yeah.

Do you have a guess? A real guess. A real, Baron? Excuse me? That was a real guess, but since you said that, I'm going to say an ex. Someone's ex. No, but that's a fun guess. It's a small child whose parents are both deployed for the holidays.

And they deploy their child into this town? I don't understand how this child would show up. It sent him to live with his Aunt Susan or something. Or Aunt Darcy or Aiden or whichever one. You've got to have the military aspect. Yeah, of course. Exactly. That's why I was wondering if you maybe would guess it.

I should have. It's a child whose parents are deployed for the holidays so he's going to live with like a relative and he's very grumpy oh yeah and she has to try to teach him the meaning of christmas spirit even though he's just a sad child jesus and people in the in the reviews were calling him a brat and And I was like, okay, calm down. He's a small child who's sad that his parents are gone. Anyway, so that's the mystery guest. That is not what I expected, but it makes a lot of sense. Oh, he is also a railroad bear.

Oh, good. Okay, sorry. Big mustache. He loves CBD. He loves CBD. Yeah, so honestly, i think we were all correct all right i've got another one of uh canceled christmas um do you know who judd nelson is yeah the actor he was in breakfast yeah yeah so that's like that's all i know i'm saying um i

think like st elmo's fire or something so yeah yeah, he played Bender, John Bender in The Breakfast Club. Anyway, so that's, he's mentioned in this because he is in this film. He plays, I believe, Santa Claus. Oh, really? He does. He plays Santa Claus. No wonder he's such a creep. So creepy.

All right, here we go. This is a two out of 10 titled Cover Your Ears. I wish that Hallmark would spring for some credible writers and stop cranking out this drivel. Judd Nelson looked like he drank his way through the production. The maniacal laugh of that elf and his crazy face-grimacing smile made him look like an escapee from a mental institution. Totally formulaic characters and dialogue.

Wait, wait, that's all formulaic, though? Yeah, apparently. This, like, escape mental patient elf, so unoriginal. Have you seen Elf, though? I mean... That's true. I mean, I'm just saying. Actually, you're not far off.

That's a great point. Okay. Totally formulate characters and dialogue. Heart of gold single mother teacher with a requisite sick kid, adorable dog, rich father who bails his kid out of trouble with money, intimidated principal who lets rich daddy bully her. I could tell ten minutes ahead everything that would happen. A major snooze. And no wonder Farley hated his father.

I'd stab him in his sleep for that horrible name. End of review. For the name? For being named Farley, yes. The first name of this child is Farley. Oh, I thought the father's name was Farley. No, no, no. For naming him that.

I looked it up. I was like, what the fuck is Farley? I see. They all do have names like that. Mine here were Darcy, Aiden, Farley. They're all kind of like those modern. Adam Claymore, Farley, Morgan. Yeah, yeah.

There was like a Bailey, although I think that was a dog. Anyway. There's Janitor. Oh, that's just a Janitor. Never mind. Wow. I changed my mind.

I want to see this flick now. I mean, I'd see probably all of these. I absolutely want to watch changed my mind i want to see this flick now i mean i'd see probably all of these absolutely want to watch it now because going in i i feel confident that i would be able to understand what i'm dealing with yeah have false expectations we can brace ourselves yeah and have fun with it i i do worry um that this person is so impressed with themselves for being able to tell what happens in 10 minutes because yeah that's kind of the point yeah i would argue that's kind of the point of all these movies is that they're pretty this was 2010 though so maybe it was before they hit their stride

and released like a billion movies a year yeah because they that's kind of the point is that they're like comfort watches like they end in a certain way they have the same kind of relationships and characters um and that's why people love them yeah so i now have some reviews of cherished memories a gift to remember the first this is the first one this is the first one wow we're in luck folks i know so because you know i thought maybe you'd have some questions after that last one yeah um i think the reviewer asked all the right questions exactly naming who are these namely i'm left wondering who are these people when did they get together when did he lose his memory why is he having a checkup at the hospital what is going on here okay so here's some context what's going on here six out of ten star review

a bicycling bookstore girl who looks a bit like naomi watts runs over a guy who's walking his dog causing him to suffer a bout of amnesia only the love of say a bookstore girl who looks a bit like naomi watts can bring his memory back and make him realize he needs to fall in love with a bookstore girl who etc oh my god very formulaic uh and then can I just read one more it's like 50 first dates yeah yeah well people called it like uh it's more like I probably don't know while you were sleeping with Sandra Bullock where it's creepy you've never seen I don't know maybe I have it's where he Bullock. Sounds creepy. You've never seen that? I don't know. Maybe I have.

It's where he's in a coma and his family thinks she's the fiance and she's really just the one who brought him to the hospital. It's a great flick. I think I have seen that. It's a good one. We had it on VHS growing up, so you've probably at least been in the vicinity while I watched it. Here is another two.

I think I remember while you were awake the second one the sequel and i was so confused because i watched that first who are these people why is he getting a checkup i do love that in the sequel they just take him to the hospital for a checkup and the first like what just like no context okay so Okay, so I'm just going to read one more review of the original flick. Why do I keep saying flick? I don't know. Is this a thing? I can't stop myself. It's just me. Is this blog is getting to you?

Maybe. It's this weird blog I'm reading. This is a two-star review of the original made-for-TV movie by Olivia. Listen, you either remember you went to the Ohio State University or you don't. Yeah, I'm a girl. And yeah, I'm really into football. And yeah, I listened to Joe Rogan. End of review. What?

Does it have, what? So I guess the main character obviously has some tie to Ohio because everybody in these films does for some reason. The most like generic state, I guess, that anybody can come up with. Even like podcasters a lot of times have a connection to Ohio. It's a fairly big state.

We do. Population wise. I've heard that. Yeah. I've heard that about our show. It's a mystery. And so basically, I guess he forgot where he went to college. And she's all offended because you either remember.

Wait, that doesn't make sense. You either remember you went or you don't, which is. Yeah, and he doesn't. Yeah, that's how it works. That's how memory works. There's a 50-50 chance you remember. Either you remember or you don't. Either she went to Ohio State or is a big fan of the football team or both.

And you wouldn't forget it, even if you got a brain damaged version of amnesia I don't find that to be true I doubt that that's true um but she does listen to Joe Rogan who does spit a lot of facts about Ohio State yeah we'll know about brain and about medical facts and brain injuries and how that works my go-to source you're right yeah so you know I trust her yeah i think her sourcing is i don't know who we're even talking about who the reviewer the character in the film i have no idea rogan i don't know it's very baffling who are these people yeah what is going on i'm gonna watch 35 more minutes and then decide to turn it off. It's annoying because I feel like all of our questions would be answered if we just watched the movie. I know, we have to.

But nothing, like, none of this stuff is really making me want to watch them that much, believe it or not. Yours with Bender and the maniacal elf. That sounds fun. That's the first one that really hooked me, you know. Well, how about this one? Okay. this one is hashtag xmas whoa from 2022 oh very modern modern story i know i was like what year is this oh i love that they've just figured out what hashtags are in 2022 now that twitter is just like burning to the ground they're like have you heard of this thing called a hashtag

that the youths are using here's a plot when Jen gets the chance to enter a brand design contest she poses as a family influencer and when her video is selected as a finalist she's torn between continuing her perfect family or revealing the truth it seems fun

like a lot of these they just seem goofy silly fun so that has this released already i think so because there's a movie coming out december 6th and today as we release this it's or i'm sorry as we record this it's the third um so by the time this comes out it'll be out i think but it's it's called like uh wait this one released like a week ago yeah they're they're because it's christmas but the one that um i saw on the home page of hallmark it looked so good it's called undercover holiday where she brings home her body she's like a pop star and she brings

home her bodyguard but she pretends like it's her boyfriend or something so ridiculous i just love these silly uh they're just like so cliche like and cheesy you know they fall in love at the end i just love something for everyone in in the hallmark cinematic universe well i don't know about everyone i don't know i there's the royal films they have like royal versions of things. They have so many different royal ones. They do. So like if you're into that, then they have a bunch of Christmas stuff, obviously. Food truck ones where people own food trucks. There you go.

See, you got everything you could need in those three. There's maybe one with people of color. Yes, yes. So you could, if that's your thing. I saw that. It had terrible reviews. It had terrible reviews. From a bunch of racists who were like, someone even said like, oh, I can't say why I didn't

like this because they keep removing reviews. Oh, come on. Yeah. Left it one star. I actually just read reviews that it was just bad. This is socially what you expect from places now in 2022. I can't say what I mean i mean otherwise my review will be taken down alexander oh my god i know i know it's terrible okay so yeah anyway there is a seedy

underbelly here for sure probably true for most like an overbelly though it is oh it's over over the belly all right yeah all right here's a review of hashtaghtag Xmas. This is a 5 out of 10. Titled, Brant Daughtry is a plus. Daughtry, D-A-U-G-H-T-E-R-Y. Who is in this film as an actor. Like Chris Daughtry? Yeah. Okay.

Chris Daughtry's younger brother. Okay. I just made that up. I know that, Zany. I'm glad that up. I know that, Zany. I'm glad you'd know. What if that's how Chris Daughtry became successful? He had a sibling in the entertainment industry who starred in Hallmark films. I mean, the Hallmark to American Idol pipeline.

The nepotism that goes on there. That would not surprise me. It would not surprise me at all, yeah. Chris Daughtry was on American Idol, right? I think so. Okay, I don't know. So was Adam Lambert, and I feel like he could show up in a hashtag Xmas. You know, he'd fit right in.

We only started watching because of Brant Daughtry. Finally, Hallmark gets a good leading guy for a holiday movie, but leaves him mostly in the background. Astoria and Portland, Oregon are not places that have snow. Astoria has an average of less than a quarter inch of snow a year. The premise of the movie is untruths. Is this the new standard for Hallmark? Lies upon lies and too many to keep track of. And I tried. I filled up a whole notebook of lies from a Hallmark. Not least surprising thing ever. Imagine finding Aunt Susan's notebook like stuffed between the couch cushions and it's just like Hallmark lies on the front filled with a story that gets one inch of snow a year.

Definitely full of family drama with bad family dynamics. Not sure it makes the best Christmas movie, but better than most Hallmark has done this year overall. Hope they decide to do more films with Brant. End of review. What a name. Brant sounds like it's one of the characters, you know? True. Brant.

True. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people complained about... Oh, he was in Pretty Little Liars. Oh. He's from Mason, Ohio. Did I or did I not tell you all this shit connects? Oh, he's very handsome.

Christina, yes. He's a lead in a Hallmark film. You kind of have to be. I guess that's really the only prerequisite to be nice to brand just kidding our ohio brethren oh man um oh and guess what he is also in days of our lives so you know what wow yeah he had a recurring role in days of our lives connected it's all connected uh i also want to add that a lot of people complained about the lies of hallmark for example people said that movies there was a movie set in alaska

and people were walking around with just like six in the morning the sun was up on christmas day and people were like freaking out that there's not this much sunlight in Alaska and people were saying it's so cold but then like not wearing yeah gloves the amount of complaints I saw about accuracy in these films is bizarre not you but you know the average reviewer who complains about this kind of thing would you rather watch a film where they're in Alaska and it's dark out at 6 a.m. And they're wearing gloves and hats and like face shields. I'd love to see Hallmark go for realism and facts in one film. Just a gritty real life. Just a fucking real ass Hallmark Christmas movie like that.

Well, the town was called Garland, Alaska, which doesn't really exist, obviously. I don't know if that's obvious. I could totally see that being a place. But knowing it's a hallmark and they didn't even put gloves on these people. Not me looking up Garland, Alaska. Wait, it's the capital of Alaska, Christina. Oh, I got it mixed up. Maybe they made up a...

Damn it, it's fine. Maybe they made up... Oh, that's the one with Candid. Sorry. Christina. They made up one called it it's fine maybe they made up that's the one with candid sorry christina they made up one called juno alaska that was a fake town sorry that's what i meant do you just google the capital of alaska i was going i can't think of the real one what is it christina that's the one with candace cameron burr everyone has Candace Cameron Burr, I feel like. Fuck. Oh, wait, maybe that's the one I meant.

What? No, the one in Garland, because I googled Garland, Alaska, and it was like, it's a fictional place from Christmas Under Wraps. Yes, that's the one. Oh, sorry, I actually have reviews of that. Yeah. Christina, do you know about the fucking shit that she's been saying? Isn't she like anti-vax or something?

She's anti... Okay. But people love her in these interviews. Yeah, and she's homophobic. Oh, great. I know she sucks, but I don't really know the details. She had made comments about how her partnership with the Great american family programming network like a she had meant said that she plans intends to quote keep traditional marriage at the core and jojo siwa which is so

exciting to see is like are you talking about jody sweeten or jojo no jojo because jody sweet yes but no no no, no. JoJo Siwa's been very vocal about this because of how hurtful Candace's comments were. And even recently saying like, she's probably never going to speak to her again. Like, okay. I didn't totally realize that there was this. It's very recent, like relevant right now. Yes. Okay. So I felt like we had to say something, you know? Man. Ew. I can't.

Anyway. Yes. Candace Cameron Burt is from Garland, Alaska. Yes. Let's get back to this. Is it my turn or yours? It's yours, I believe. Okay.

I have a movie here called Dear Santa. Now, this is when I decided I had to start looking up the log lines of all these films because, wow, are they good. So here's the one for Dear Santa, which has a pretty innocuous title, I would argue. Here is what this movie is all about. A young woman from a privileged life falls for a soup kitchen owner after discovering a Dear Santa letter written by his seven-year-old daughter. What? Soup kitchen owner. I was like, a what?

A soup kitchen owner? Like he owns the soup. Okay. I'd rather him be a royal baron. Yeah. I'm just kidding. It just seems so like forced weird. I don't know.

So forced. Like, right? Okay. Wow. yeah it's just it just seems so like forced weird i don't know so forced like right it's okay wow he feeds a homeless and she's a privileged lady it's just like she loves money it's too much um but so let me read a review of of this okay okay this is a one-star review by the truth hurts and this is on amazon it's a verified purchase. The title is Trash. Simply trashy. Take a beloved holiday. Make it sleazy and all about greed. The movie's heroine is Crystal, a rich, delusional grown woman who acts like she's 12. One day, the worst postal worker ever drops and misplaces mail everywhere. Crystals a letter to santa santa emoji from a snotty little girl who wants a new mommy the nerve this brat oh they're so mean to children

in these reviews conveniently crystal's mother put get a man or you're cut off demand wait what oh oh oh oh so her mother says if you don't get a man to love you're cut off. Demand. Wait, what? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So her mother says, if you don't get a man to love, you are cut off from all of our wealth and fortune. Yeah, exactly. A very emotional child who wants a mother figure. I know! This is horrible. And a woman who will not receive her riches if she doesn't find a man. Oh my god.

Yikes. If she doesn't fulfill a mommy role somewhere. Yeah, this is a great, this is gonna be successful. Okay, well just wait till you get a load of this, okay? So then Crystal shows up at the child's house and then proceeds to stalk them, child and father. Jason Voorhees is less creepy than the antics Crystal pulls. The kid drops a mitten and she picks it up to sniff it.

What? It's like really scary. A crystal? No, a mitten. Oh, a mitten. Oh, I don't know why I heard crystal. Because the antics crystal pulls. Okay, I don't, my brain was just.

The kid drops a mitten and she picks it up to sniff it. What? I hope there's more to that. No, she's just super creepy. But no, I hope that I watch it and like there's some, but why sniff the child's mitten? I feel like there has to be something. I don't think so.

I really need there to be some, I need it, Christina. I need it to not just be a creepy sniff. I need it to be like, oh, did it fall in something? Let me smell it. I need there to be like oh did it fall in something let me smell it like i need i need there to be context fallen dog piss like what do you mean i don't know i don't know anything i'm desperate that's terrible she follows the father to a soup kitchen and pretends to care about the homeless to get closer to him this is such a dark film. This sounds like a, not a Christmas movie, but like a very dark. This sounds amazing.

It sounds like satire of a Christmas film, honestly. As the day goes on, she meets a chef decked out with lip gloss and a loud hot pink chef jacket and hat. This chef is the reason why the homeless got dysentery. What?

I don't know, Alexander. I can't believe anything from this description from this reviewer. So delusional are Crystal and Chef Butch that they team up to manipulate the dad into liking her. Too bad the dad got a girlfriend. Jillian was right to point out that Crystal doesn't know him, lies, and can't trust her.

Basically, this movie teaches a grand holiday tradition of manipulation. The kid even gets involved. Worst holiday movie ever. I then proceeded to put this DVD in the trash next to the used kitty litter. End of review. Oh, okay. Good to know. Thank you. Thank you for that extra info.

So that one day when the aliens come down and dig through our wreckage they will find it buried among oh man for them man what a what a film that is wild yeah um and that's why when i said the film is just called dear santa it sounds so harmless it does uh wow so i i i want to watch this one just to really fact check this review. Oh, yeah. No, me too. But I feel that way about most of these. Yeah, definitely.

My next one is of Three Wise Men and a Baby. Also from November of this year. That sounds like I don't even know. I honestly don't know. It's got a 7.9 out of 10 total. Whoa. Granted, it's so new. It's brand new. I mean, it has 1.4 thousand reviews. Okay it's got a 7.9 out of 10 total whoa granted it's so new it's 1.4 000 reviews so it's not like a lot yeah here's the plot summary three brothers are surprised when

they find themselves forced to care for a baby during the holidays during the journey they begin to rebuild their relationship as brothers while rediscovering their love for christmas okay here is a review they had to find three leads for this that's a lot i know three handsome men who look like brothers their arsenal can't be that broad but okay good for them here's a one out of ten titled babies are disposable what i just want to let you warning spoilers by the way oh no here we go the guys are great and the baby is cute but no one addresses the elephant in the room and it's a huge elephant mom abandons baby at the fire station for a few days while she takes off to parts unknown to quote get her life together and everyone is very understanding

and cool with it. In reality, there would likely be serious consequences and the people receiving the baby would probably be required to report the incident to Children's Services. The film treats the incident like the mom was away in the hospital for a few days. WTF

kind of message is this. Would have been better if the three dudes would have sold the baby on the black market adoption market. And then when the mother comes back, they tell her, oh, that baby? He's in a Russian orphanage. End of review. Oh my God.

Reviewers are wild. And I would love for them to get together and write their own Hallmark movie. I was going to say. With all the fucked up shit they think of. I'm stunned because I was going to say in response, are wild and i would love for them to get together and write their own hallmark movie i was gonna say with all the fucked up shit they think of i was i'm stunned because i was gonna say in response like oh well really would you like to see a movie where they have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and then they were like no i would like to see even worse like so far off so far out of left field holy crap yeah you think this is like they're like oh this is unbelievable that this

would happen i want them to sell them to a black market like what in real life there would be consequences like russian orphanages what are you talking about also like just like this it's what are they they can't make it i don know. They really just ruined their entire argument by saying that last bit. Wow. Okay. The next movie I have here is called A Bride for Christmas. Oh, good. Yeah.

Weddings and Christmas. That's a lot. Perfect combo. So here is the description. After Jesse calls off her third engagement engagement she swears off serious relationships until she finds the one that is until charming but chronically single aiden comes along another aiden another aiden yeah wow yeah uh now i have two of probably the most dramatic amazon reviewers uh ever wow that's saying something and i'm telling you the screenshot Now, I have two of probably the most dramatic Amazon reviewers ever.

Wow. That's saying something. And I'm telling you, the screenshot, it's one screenshot, meaning they were just back to back. Wow. On this film. Lucky you. I know. So here's one star by Nancy.

The title is This Movie is Terrible. Verified purchase. It's so dumb. It makes no sense. The characters are terrible people people this ruined the concept of marriage for me okay end of review nancy um and now here's one more this is by starfish verified purchase the title is dear amazon so we're starting off strong one star this is the second movie i've started watching and had

to quit because a character was vegan which made her unlikable well i find you unlikable as well so we're even steven and i will no longer be paying for amazon oh my god wait is this person upset that they made the vegan character like a villain a villain and made them unlikable for that reason which it really does track you know same uh but also i i'm sort of i feel sort of like they're aiming their anger at the wrong like amazon's just sold the dvd copy as if and like wow how great of you to be using amazon right now to complain about this like it just was ridiculous i mean to be fair i i also wish jeff bezos would accept some constructive criticism but i but i don't think that this is his doing believe it or not um but yeah so basically one i find you unlikable as well

so we're even steven and i will no longer pay for amazon cool cool cool um and nancy's never getting married. So you know what? This movie has done quite a bit of damage. It's just done a lot. I need to watch it. Now I don't need to watch it. Yeah.

I feel like I'm going to agree with both of them. Something bad might happen. Yeah. I have one more. Great. This is of A Royal Corgi Christmas. Oh my God. Also 2022.

That's why I'm like, we got to do, like half of mine, no, a majority of mine were from 2022. Oh, man. This is every year. I can't wait.

I can't wait. Here's the synopsis. To win his mother's love, Prince Edmund gives her a corgi and hires Cecily, a dog trainer. Edmund and Cecily bond over the dog and discover that love can grow in unexpected places. Four out of 10. Titled Disappointing Dud. I made it halfway through. I don't think the piece was well-conceived.

The prince acted like an immature jerk. He brought an untrained corgi to his mother, the queen, but didn't present it himself and left it for others to deal with, not considering the trouble that could result. He often left others hanging. He showed no redeeming qualities until all of a sudden he became generous to some children, no doubt due to the influence of the leading lady.

But there was no character development. Usually you can root for a character to grow, but I had no interest in either of the leads, even though I think the actors did their best with the material they had to work with. I kept waiting for dog training scenes, but the characters seemed to do anything but. The dog was supposed to appear at an event in two weeks, so where was the intense training? And why was a new dog trainer helping the royal family decorate their sparse Christmas tree? I like royal movies, but it's unbelievable the someone going to a royal castle

wouldn't do a quick search about protocol. The leading lady's attempts to curtsy with hands in an obeisant posture. Do you know that word? What? O-B-E-I-S-A-N-T. No. And I was like, oh, maybe it was a typo from obedient.

No, this is a word meaning to show deference. Oh, boy. Well, no wonder we don't know. I know. I was like, I don't even know if I'm saying it right. But I was like, damn. Maybe obeisant. Obeisant.

Like obey. Oh. Probably had similar conjugative roots. Let's get into it. Oh. Probably had similar conjugative roots. Let's get into it. Yes. Posture came off as silly and made her look inconsiderate and not very bright. I didn't see the end, but I can guess. Conflict arises to interfere with the budding romance.

The conflict gets resolved and the guy gets the girl. Am I right? End of review. Probably right. In real life life there would be consequences this corgi would have ended up in a russian orphanage after no training whatsoever was performed i read some reviews where people were saying they that the people who made this film this film should watch the crown should watch um king's speech oh my god to get an idea of how to portray a royal story and i'm like absolutely not if you're going to your hallmark movies to watch something similar to the crown you're going to the wrong place yeah

i'm sorry that no one wants that but you no that's why these films are set in america typically and filmed in canada there's they're not meant to be appealing to international uk audiences like could you imagine if the princess bride was like actually um a realistic princess bride what am i thinking of oh princess princess Princess Diaries. Princess Diaries was Princess Bride. Perfect movie. They both are. But yeah, Princess Diaries was like trying to appeal to the British royal family and like be like with all the customs and stuff. I mean, granted, like that was kind of the fun of the movie.

Anyway, the point is, no, this is not supposed to be The Crown. It's a fucking Hallmark Christmas movie about dogs and a royal family. It's stupid. Wouldn't she do some research? What? So she shows up and she knows how to curtsy and then what like where's the humor and and folly in that it's i don't know if she were obeisant i think is like a royal fan and is just kind of put off by just surrounded by those princess diana uh bears those beanie babies i was like what just like this is not how you got into that season in the crown so i don't know what oh god i am on season two and it is incredible it's a great show i'm loving it so no spoilers

anyone of what happens next shit i hope elizabeth makes it last a while Shit, I already told you about... I hope Elizabeth makes it last a while. I hope I already told you about the Beanie Babies. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Shouldn't have said anything. I hope that's a plot point. Shouldn't have said anything. Okay, so the next one I have here is Christmas Under Wraps, starring Cameron...

Candice Burr. Candice Burr. Ugh. When an aspiring surgeon... That's her. No. surgeon, that's her. LOL, by the way. When an aspiring surgeon is turned down for a fellowship, she takes a temporary position working as a GP

in a small Alaskan town called Garland in an effort to boost her resume. Okay. And this is pretty fitting with your last review. The title of this two-star review is Do Some Research Before Making a Movie. It is... Oh, see, now I feel very stupid because I already told you about all this and I forgot that I actually had a review of it, which is so stupid.

Like, duh, I have a review of it. Okay. Oh, well. It is quite amusing watching a movie made by people that have no idea of how snow actually looked like. In some scenarios, the blankets that should look like snow actually wavered in the wind. There were green leaves on the trees, green grass at the roadside, and even if the actors dressed up like it should be freezing cold, the snow was melting on the pavement. No frost when breathing. With little more research, this movie could work out,

but as it is, it is just quite laughable. Zero out of two people found this review helpful. Good. That is... There's not enough frost when they're breathing. Could you imagine? How would they CGI it? Or just put them in a freezer?

Like, actually make them freezing cold. That would suck. Yeah. They wouldn't be able to. I don't know. This is just ridiculous. So ridiculous. What would that add to the film?

May I ask to this reviewer? What would it add for you to be able to see their breath? What would that add for you? It would. It bothers me so much. What if in the background the blankets were waving and there was green grass but they also had a frost coming out of their mouth see that's the thing it's like what which which point was like too far which point was too far which broke the camel's back but that means that there was snow

on the pavement because they said the snow was melting i don't know yeah you know i just picture this person watching this movie again with a notebook that says Hallmark lies. Yeah. And like noticing in the background that one of the blankets was wavering in the wind. Like, how do you even notice that unless you're really looking for it? And doing the math to see how much snow must have fallen and in what period of time so they could compare it to the average snowfall that a place like Garland, Alaska that totally exists would have. to the average snowfall that a place like garland alaska that totally exists would have these are all filmed in like vancouver and probably not not in the midst of in alaska i believe it so this is a two-star review of the same movie by bjorn 43 and the title is worst christmas movie seen this year so disappointed feel obligated to share.

Among the many things that were bad, acting, plot, anti-climax at the end, the thing that bothered me most was the incredibly poor lighting. And sure, it was clearly a low-budget film, but that doesn't excuse the use of heavy beams in all the indoor scenes. And in the car. Wait, or was it on the moon? Good question, Bjorn. One out of two found this helpful,

and I think the one who found it helpful was probably one watching the blankets wavering in the wind. And then meanwhile, Bjorn's reading their review and like, no, no, no, zero. No. This is not helpful. Who cares about that? Who cares if their clothes are zipped up or not?

I can't even see it. It's a Hallmark movie. You want the less clothes, the better. Exactly. Also, how can you see those blankets wavering in the wind? There's these giant tractor beam lights in every angle. True. And so, finally, I have a redemption.

And this is of a film called Naughty or Nice. N-O-D-D-Y? I wish. Me too. Aw, Naughty or Nice. N-O-D-D-Y? I wish. Me too. Aw, Naughty's Toyland Holiday Special. That would be great. This is a five-star review by Walt. And I'm just going to flash over this to you

just to show that it's all capitals, the whole thing. I can confirm. Confirmed. The name, the title. Everything is capital. Everything's capital letters. Verified purchase. The name, the title. Everything is capital. Everything's capital letters. Verified purchase. The title is An Unexpected Holiday Surprise.

No spoilers. Using my voice command, I said, Romantic Comedy on Prime. And this magnificent holiday feature came up, and am I glad I grabbed it. Featuring Matt Dallas of KyleX xy fame and a fabulous young lady

who is 100 personality and charm this was a winner essentially as our female protagonist loses her job she takes on a temporary position as an elf at a department store oddly her name is chris kringle that is quite odd reviewer that is quite odd chris with a k of course meant to be oddly her name is chris kringle and every year she receives accidentally hundreds of letters from around the world this time she has mistakenly sent santa's book naughty and nice. She decides to look up a few people who are not so nice. That's what I would do too. Just for fun. Oh yeah.

Just to see what's up. And her misadventures make her realize nature must take its own course. What does that mean? When she uses the bathroom? That sounds like a toilet reference. Nature must take its course i don't honestly i feel like this is a problem because her just looking in the book would put her on the naughty list good point and then it's just gonna be this crazy cycle because then she removes

herself because she has the book but that in itself is an act that would put her on the naughty list and it's just i think everything's just gonna, she's just, she's death of the universe is the ending of this movie. She's death of the universe. Is the only possible ending. Nature must take its course. Yes, agreed. She is just rocketing to the top of that naughty list.

She's gonna be number one by the end. Absolutely. A really hilarious comedy of errors with a super cast. Okay, that's the end of the review. I would read this person's blog. I love it. That was so great. this person's blog i love it that was so great using my voice command and it was like so sweet and like very positive and just made me happy for sure um and so now i just want to read you the the the synopsis yeah there you go holiday

humbug chrissy crinkle receives a special delivery intended for santa claus the naughtier nice book he left behind while visiting a child and uses the power of the book to expose the naughty deeds it sounds like a dirty film doesn't it yeah a little bit but chrissy krangle wait santa was visiting a child what does that mean why do they put it that way but it's all one sentence there's just a lot of commas he left his book behind while he was visiting a child i hate this movie it's so that's all so creepy chrissy crringle holiday humbug. Oh, my God. It sounds like, obviously, minus a child, but it sounds like a porno. Like, she's exposing his naughty deep.

You know what I mean? Like, it sounds dirty the way they wrote it. And then using it to see what people are into. Yeah. To expose them? To put them on the naughty list. Yeah. I mean, Jesus.

Oh, boy. Well, anyway, this was uh uh from 2011 so we gotta if we want to check it out we got to go back through the archives oh i will okay oh it has a 32 on rotten tomatoes pretty pretty good that's actually not surprisingly high for these movies yeah yeah yeah all right that's all i got for you surprisingly high for these movies yeah yeah yeah all right that's all i got for you time for my challenge this one came from rachel she her who wanted to suggest a challenge where the reviewer or a family member gets injured but they give a positive review because either the product survived or protected them in some way without actually

being intended to protect them so it's not a helmet right oh okay i see i see i see right um so she included a couple attachments um a couple examples uh this um review has to the point where the the attached version that i was given is extremely uh it's hard to read just because it's been shared probably so many times um this review i've seen all over the place i don't know if we've ever talked about it but i feel like we might have is it the eyeliner no it's some oh yeah was that it was like the eyeliner didn't smudge and it's like a person with a black eye in a hospital that's right i forgot about that one that's a good one for this yeah uh but no this is a five-star review of some uh leggings i don't know the exact ones we read

this one we did but it was like a between you and us and the picture has um a woman like fallen over on like this mountainside and she wrote this order them now can i just say that i will be reordering them in every color here is me rolling and sliding down a mountain because i was too scared to get up my leggings did not rip not even a little bit and i got stuck on rocks and trees end of review 13 000 people found it helpful uh and then someone even left a review of the same product saying five stars mountain sliding legging lady was right these ray pose leggings off amazon are exactly as good as a lady in the review says glad i bought five end of review and there's a picture of her just lying on the ground like in a similar pose to how

the old one is it's so silly i love that somebody in the original review was like let me just take a photo of this yeah for posterity's sake of my friend refusing to walk down the hill so she slid down hey i'd expect everyone around me to do the same if they saw me doing that. Oh, yeah. Take all the photos. You better document it. This next one here, this is a very good one, also included by Rachel. This is an eight-pack, 4.3-inch large hair claw clips for women.

Thin, thick, curly hair, big mat, banana clips, 90s stronghold, jaw clip, neutral colors. They're just hair clips. Like those bigger hair clips. I've purchased those. Yeah. Those exact ones. Yeah. Got it.

Well, good. There's a five-star review titled Durability for Days. Holds hair well. My mom fell backwards on concrete with one in her hair and landed on the clip. It still held her hair and didn't break or anything. Most durable, comfortable clips we have ever had. Will definitely buy again and recommend. End of review.

Is she okay? Yeah, it seems like it. She fell on her head? Yep. Oh my god. I love that the daughter's like, hold on, hold still. Yeah. Oh my god, not a follicle out of place.

Nothing wrong. That's impressive. What great hold. Now I go into my own research. Great. There are so many books about surviving. And there's so many religious themed books around surviving. All my search terms came up with all these things yeah but i

did do minus books oh good and minus i think movies at one point that's so smart i forgot it helped a lot it helped a lot yeah because there's so many random kindle books and also like random kindle books that had like plot that included any phrase i used about like despite an injury or whatever searched through oh so much but figured it out and I've got a few for you. This one is of Under Armour Women's Rival Fleece Joggers. Five stars. It's very well made and durable. I had a nasty fall on my knees.

Type of fall while hiking. Pants survived and my knees did too no hole or even evidence that i fell and oh i wish i could live in these pants end of review um wow um you can i basically live in the pant i was gonna say why can't you yeah uh i just can't stop thinking about that horrible fall on your knees. That sounds... Fall on your knees. Stop. I wonder... What just fell?

My wallet. My tithes. What? I wonder if the cushioning of the pants helped soften the blowtip. I mean, they said that the pants of the knees were their own knees were fine so yeah unscathed so i'd like to think they were protected by it i gasped because i genuinely seriously thought you were about to say you said the pants survived and my knees i thought did not or got really badly injured or something i was so nervous no no no all good all good so my next one is of 90 degree by reflex squat proof wait what it changed okay you know what

it's two-pack women's power flex uh capri workout leggings okay titled super durable five stars i cannot say enough good things about the quality of these pants. I have had multiple pairs through the years and they hold up in craziest of circumstances. I crashed my MTB, which I think is mountain bike? It's like all caps MTB. MTB. Mountain bike.

Sure. A few years ago and cut my knee up, but my leggings didn't have a single tear. I was also recently in an intense rollover vehicle accident and cut my other up, but my leggings didn't have a single tear. I was also recently in an intense rollover vehicle accident and cut my other knee, but the leggings did not have a single shred or tear despite the injury. If you're looking for a pair of pants that are both comfy and durable, these are it. Don't wear those anymore. Bad luck, you think?

That's not good. Nothing good comes with these pants. Well, you know what's funny about this? What? I clicked on the person's profile out of curiosity, and sure enough, there was a review of another product on the same day. Alexander. This is a review of Woosh, a five-star review of Woosh Polarized Lightweight Sunglasses

for Men and Women, Unisex Sunnies for Fishing, Beach, Running, Sports, and Outdoors. Five stars. Uh-huh. It's titled, beach, running, sports, and outdoors. Five stars. Titled, Not Even an Airbag Could Break Them. Okay. Oh my god, this is horrifying. These glasses are super comfy. Not only comfortable, but amazingly durable. I was in a car accident and they were on top of my head.

They were hit by the airbag and thrown from the vehicle, but sustained no damage. Only a very minor dent at the hinge. Totally incredible. They were hit by the airbag and thrown from the vehicle, but sustained no damage. Only a very minor dent at the hinge. Totally incredible. Would recommend these as good outdoor sunglasses and ones that will last a long time. End of review. Jesus. So I love, I honestly love that this person thought after being in this car accident was let me review the products that made it through no problem.

And give them a little bit of credit. I love it. Suspiciously absent is the top this person was wearing. True. Yeah. Totally ripped from their body. Any other accessories? Yeah.

Underwear? Underwear. Bra. I mean, it seems like nothing else maybe survived except the sunglasses. It could be. Yeah, because. But there were no one-star reviews on anything like this couldn't handle a car accident at least so good vibes impeccable vibes only impeccable vibes

is what this reviewer is saying so true but stop wearing those pants because yeah that's nothing good nothing good comes so far has come from it stop stop getting in vehicular accidents this is really yeah just just stop stop stop it you're making me nervous also how does your knee get i mean i'm genuinely asking how does your knee get scraped up but your pants don't that sounds like there wasn't a tear like yeah it was like if but how did it like how does it get to your skin if it can't get through your pants like but friction i don't know what the hell are you throwing on my pockets keep emptying what's what was that it was green what was it it was my

little pill thing oh i thought it was poop bags i don't even have a dog you think i just walk around with poop bags you might probably smart actually I might need that. I don't know what we're talking about, but I'm going on to my next one. Okay. This is of an autism awareness license plate cover. Oh, another car accident? I can't. Okay. Ready?

Yeah. Five stars. Survived a car crash. Looks like new after a car crash. Survived it better than my car. Oh. Entire rear panel, muffler, et cetera, were crushed. Pick my car up from the shop and the plate frame still looks good.

End of review. I'm just picturing. And Christina, it is crushed. Like it is bad. I was going to say, I'm picturing like the smoking wreckage of a car and then just like the pristine license plate cover just sitting there on top of the pile. It's like when people try to burn a Ouija board and it won't burn. Never mind.

What? It's not really like that at all. But I don't know. That's what comes to mind. It comes to my mind very specifically. Not to anyone else's. I hope it's only yours. This final one I have is mainly I picked for the product itself.

Android pissing on Apple funny die cut vinyl decal slash sticker. Wow. It's like that old Android alien. I miss that guy. Pissing on an Apple logo. Wow. And it just says Droid at the bottom. Guys.

Oh, my God. So funny. This is so wild. And it just says droid at the bottom. Guys. Oh my God. So funny. So wild that this. I used to have like that robot guy, that android on my like stickers and stuff because I had an android phone was one of those people. Yeah. I don't think I would ever do the android pissing ones, but. I had an android phone and I remember that cute alien. I liked him.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, there's a bumper sticker here that says, my other ride is your mom. Who is this person? They need to get it together. It says you might also like, so it's talking to me, actually. It's just you. You are that person. Yeah.

But yes, the Android droid is cute the fact that um well not when he's peeing really but um i do love that underneath it it just says droid in big letters in case somebody didn't like yes it wasn't clear what was going on yeah uh here's a five star review of it looks good and really gets the point across pretty good quality decal it survived the crash the car did not oh my god oh my god i bet somebody rear-ended him because of that sticker whether it was intentional or not they were like what is that what is that robot pissing on i'm glad you didn't say that for the autism awareness one no god crashed into him on purpose oh geez yeah sometimes i get this is so stupid sometimes i really want to see what someone's bumper sticker says so i just inch closer just

to see and then it says if you can read this you're too close and i go oops you got me but also take that off because somebody's gonna get too close and bump into you i'm gonna say something that might sound alarming but i do the same but i put my glasses on when i want to read something oh right because you can't see like if you're trying to read what a street sign says whether or not you're allowed to turn right on red you put your glasses on just to check is that what you're saying like when you're driving just for bumper stickers and stuff i don't care about reading the street signs. I can't tell if it's one way only or not. I'm just going to put my glasses on and check. Yeah.

I got you. Okay. Exactly. Cool. Wow, Elks Center. That was very successful. That was fun. Thanks, Rachel, for the suggestion.

I'm really impressed. Yeah. And thanks for the Hallmark episode. That was great. Man, we got to do more of those. Maybe in January we can do one of all the ones that came out this month. You know? Because there's a lot of new ones coming out. I love it. I'm in. more of those maybe in January we can do one of all the ones that came out this month you know because there's a lot of new ones coming out I love it I'm in there's there well and also we

should actually watch them yeah I think that'll be fun to like do like a you know I tried to find so first I typed Hallmark in on Common Sense Media and I couldn't find and it didn't work because I just typed Hallmark but so now i'm wondering if i type any of these into common sense media if there are any kids reviews that would be something so that's its own whole rabbit hole i don't know uh we'll work on it let us know if you want to hear more of these if not we'll just do it on our own time for ourselves just for ourselves or we'll force patreon to listen to it there it is there's a kicker all righty everyone thanks for being here

happy december we'll talk to you soon yeah don't forget to open your advent calendar today true bye you