Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 212: Reviews of Mall Santas

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

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Keep it fresh at michigan.org. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. And we're rolling. Ho, ho, ho. We're like, ho, ho, no.

Wow. Did you come up with that yourself? Uh-huh. Are you sure? Because I have 16 reviews that say that exact same thing. No. Welcome to Beach Shoe Sandy Water To It, a podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most remnant fashion. My name is Zandy. I'm Xtine.

We're talking about mall Santas. Mall Santas today. Same as last episode. General child of a certain age warning. We curse a lot, so you should know that by now. So if you're cool with that, whatever. But the whole magic of it all. We'll curse at your kids, but we do not want to ruin the magic of christmas exactly you know what i mean

so just fair warning and i decided to bring something to the table that'll really scare off the children did you find krampus no i just found something really depressing oh no yeah okay i'm gonna start with my really depressing review okay like i'm not even kidding this is not this is just sad ready okay i'm starting off hot this is a review of morristown mall in morristown new jersey and this is a one-star review from only a couple weeks ago great this is by Hans. I was there in 1963, on the day the Moorestown Mall opened. It was always my favorite mall.

Better stores, friendly shoppers. It just felt right. My parents brought me there. I brought my girlfriend there. Then, we brought our kids there. Eventually, our kids brought their girlfriend there. Then we brought our kids there. Eventually, our kids brought their kids there. It became their spot to take our grandchildren to see the Easter Bunny and Santa. I have 15 photos with Santa and the grandchildren,

each one taken at the Morristown Mall, and each one incredibly features the same elderly gentleman with the kind face who played Santa for every one of those 15 years. I was there again the other night, Black Friday, 59 years later. The Santa we knew and loved had been replaced with another. My once favorite mall had become just a memory of its former self. The halls were quiet. I found a spot outside in a sparsely populated lot right near an entrance. Aside from Boscov's, the other anchor stores are gone. The chain shops that used to populate the hallways that we grew up with have closed and possibly gone out of business themselves.

Walking the mall that night was a depressingly sad occasion for me. As I walked past the boarded up stores that once housed the old familiar chain names, I thought back to opening day in 1963. And as a 12-year-old, I excitedly shook the hand of TV personality Wee Willie Webb. Stop. I'm sorry. I couldn't get through it. It doesn't mean funny.

You held it together for so long. I did the same thing reading it last night. I couldn't get through it. It doesn't mean funny. You held it together for so long. I did the same thing reading it last night. I started cracking up. I was like, oh my God. And then I got to Wee Willie Webber. And I was like, I couldn't. I couldn't. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Famous TV persona that we all know and love. He was, in fact, an American radio and television personality and pioneer. Oh, I didn't doubt that. He was specifically in the Philadelphia region. Oh, born in Havana, Cuba. Died in Philadelphia at the age of 80 in 2010. Anyway, sorry.

We're close to the end and I just couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. Wow, I was really getting in the zone. We will eat Weber. I'm sorry. Wow, I was really getting in the zone. Weebly Webber. I'm sorry. It really took me out of the review every time I read that. It's so depressing. It's just so sad.

But I thought it was... Okay. I thought back to opening day in 1963 when as a 12-year-old, I excitedly shook the hand of TV personality Wee Willie Webber. As I entered the autumn of my life, so does the Morristown Mall.

The only thing there for me the other night were the memories. Will the last person out of the mall please turn out the lights? End of review. I'm crying. It's not funny. It's funny because it's sad.

I'm crying. What happened? I was laughing so hard and then I started to cry. Oh man. Anyway. Do you know what this exact, I mean, I wonder if you'll figure out exactly what I'm referencing. Do you know what this fucking reminds me of? Dad.

Yes. Yeah. Every Christmas. The stories you tell every Christmas. I know. I'm going to copy and paste this and read it to my children. He's just shed a tear because he's so proud of me listening to this. Oh, man.

He takes after me. Yeah. As we've talked about this before, but basically every Christmas as kids, our dad would always read us a story, like a Christmas story. But it was always like something that really just ended on a horribly depressing note. I mean, sometimes it was like the classics like Gift of the Magi, you know, which, again, in its own way is like kind of a tearjerker. But then there were some that got like really dark about hospitals. Oh yeah, just so sad. And just people

dying you would like print them off the internet and then no real happy ending just kind of like a more thought-provoking than anything yeah but we were like eight and we were ready for santa to you know open our we were ready to open our stockings and i feel like i cried every christmas of my life every christmas except for the ones where I was numb from antidepressants. Right. That's why, you know, now we, you know, prepare. Yeah. In that way.

But yeah, so we would always end up in tears. And then we'd go and our stepmom, our poor stepmom would go, do you want to open presents? We'd be like, we don't feel like it anymore. And we'd go lay in our beds. And then she'd be like, cut. Yeah, we'd always take a break. We'd need a break, like an emotional break to recover and our dad was always so proud of himself for reading these like horror horribly depressing

and then he would cry and we would cry it was just all very dark but i feel like this is the kind of thing he would read yeah uh wow alexander that got to me man we willy whatever holy crap i cannot believe you found that review that is who's like i think it was the last one i found wow yeah i mean i for good reason stopped after that one i was like yeah that's that's enough for tonight that was like my fifth or so i forget how many i have exactly i don't blame you that's don't worry i'll have a palate cleanser in between before I do more negative. Great. Okay, great. So I also want to point out, by the way, oh, I have a thing here that I forgot that I put

in the front of the notes, which is that apparently in 2020, I tried to do mall Santas and then you decided there weren't enough reviews for mall Santas. Sounds about right. Yeah. there weren't enough reviews for mall santas sounds about right yeah and so uh jeanette she her had actually sent this in mall santas and i i suggested it on the show as our next theme and you and you said no there's not enough um reviews because i wasn't as good at searching back then yeah so then last night i was like hey do you think there are enough reviews and you're like yeah have you tried this this and this and i'm And I'm like, I mean, yeah, I'll do that.

But anyway, I just wanted to point out that apparently two years ago, I had initially suggested it. This year you did. Look, I had an edible. It was late at night. You had sent me your suggestion for the Patreon poll, which was. I was going to do mall Santas. And then for some reason i said no there's probably

not enough reviews of that and so instead i said photo photographer like family photographers like a jc penny and so i thought oh mall santas yeah like literally was just like let me just put that as the third option i didn't think it was gonna win i didn't either actually but um yeah and i didn't check how easy it was until after the fact but i've i got some solid ones yeah i did just reviews of malls that mentioned santa i did too i wanted to check before you did your research like i wanted to make sure before i committed to it but here is the mall at wellington green this is in wellington florida and this is a one star review by lacy on trip advisor the. The title is Horrible Santa Process.

The Wellington Mall has always been part of the community life that participates in events which engage its residents. I'm writing to you from a four hour long wait to see Santa in the center of your mall while I watch one person take a picture of kids with Santa and then proceed to cash them out. The operation of Santa pictures is highly inefficient and being run by people who aren't even playing Christmas or holiday music. I feel like I am waiting to be seated at reggae concert. Totally. Been there, man.

Take me to my seat at the reggae concert, Usher. Fight a nickel for every time I felt like I was being seated at a reggae concert. What does that mean? Well, I don't know. Children are fired and cranky. Fired? Oh, no. I guess tired, maybe?

Oh, maybe. Children are fired and cranky after a three to four hour wait for this. How is it that other malls or places like Bass Pro Shops can accommodate triple the amount of people in less time? Unhappy Santa customers, aka Santa's helpers who shop, means less money going back into the mall mostly because they just spent hours in line with cranky children. Please do not hire the same company next year. This is absolutely ridiculous and a waste of valuable time with our families during the holidays. Please advise me how you intend to remedy the issue as I shall begin to post this everywhere with our family during the holidays. Please advise me how you intend to remedy the issue, as I shall begin to post this everywhere to raise awareness of the situation.

Thank you. What? Wow. That's so excessive. I am initially, the reggae concert stood out to me, and then the Bass Pro Shops, but it took me until later to realize Bass Pro Shops does a Santa thing. They do.

At first, I thought she was just- Yeah, you were very confused. I was like, like okay so she has two reference points reggae concerts and bass pro shops and those are like her two cultural touchstones where she like compares all her experiences so i thought that was hilarious wow a place like bass pro shop can hold triple the people but now i remembered they do their own thing yeah um i one of my many millions of pet peeves about reviews, one of them is when they give like business advice. Oh, yeah.

And they say, oh, well, if you had done, used a better company, I would have spent more money at your mall. And you have unhappy customers now, so they won't spend their money here. It's like. It's like they're trying to get through to them by speaking their language and it's like that's not which which fair money is probably the language that they best they yeah but you're not gonna convince them i don't think they're like oh yeah they're like oh man you're so right thank you for this wonderful lesson slice sabaro if her kids are too cranky.

We never thought about how to get people to spend more money. We never thought about it. Yeah. That just drives me crazy. Thank you for sharing. It's like so unnecessary. Yep. Here's a four-star review of the Ocean County Mall.

This is my, there's my redemption in the middle to, you know. Soften the blow. Get back into the christmas spirit uh this is a yeah ocean county mall in toms river new jersey this is a four-star review it was by wally i was about to say by willie we we willie we willie wonkers what's that he willie what Wonkers. I totally remember. I'm totally not Googling it. Wee Willie Weber.

Weber. I'm obsessed with Wee Willie Weber. I'm obsessed. Wee Willie Weber's a Gemini. I believe a two-faced son of a gun. This is, what was I saying? So I'm in Towns River, New Jersey. I don't have any idea.

Here is a four-star review by Wally. Weber. Wee Wally Weber. Wee Wally Weber. They must have a deal with the North Pole. Oh. How they get the real Santa to come take pictures with the kids for as long as he does, and he's still able to manage final prep for the loading of presents on his sleigh,

is beyond me santa is extremely nice with the kids posing for pictures and inquiring as to their christmas wishes even when the kids are less than cooperative the mall does a great job setting him up with a prime location always a great holiday picture end of review wow wow do you think they have a deal with the north pole i know they do you do i'm sure of it thomps river new jersey yeah specifically them what you said in our last episode something about like how do you explain it was about the mackler brothers how do they explain that the elf only like supports one team yeah like how do you how do you i guess because

kids don't think this much but yeah how do you explain that santa's just hanging out this mall in toms river new jersey yeah i always wonder that it's just such a funny i always wonder because like you can tell they look different like do i don't remember as a kid what i i think i just wanted to believe it so bad that i just like told myself you like you really just tell yourself you actually use your imagination you just believe in things like it's very yeah you're very easily misled yeah even if it's meant to be for good it's kind of manipulative and stuff yeah there's apparently on m's in my after chat which we do for Patreon after every episode.

We were like finishing up and M goes, oh, last question. Just a real quick question. What are you and Blaze planning to do? Tell Leona about Santa. And I was like, last quick question? Yeah, that's a big question. Are you kidding me? We sat there for another 20 minutes and I was like, I don't know.

I was like, I've thought about this. I've thought about this quite a bit and i honestly don't know and apparently there's a lot of new angles you can take like that are on tiktok of course or just online you're getting tiktok parenting parenting advice but specifically about santa i love that i know there's very specific stuff on there it's so niche because it is niche because um yeah it's sort of like how do you find that line between like quote-unquote lying to your kid but also like not making them feel left out when all their friends believe and you don't want to ruin the quote-unquote magic but also you don't want to like harm them psychologically there's so much there it's so layered and i i don't know i haven't quite

figured it out but um yeah there's definitely i'm no i'm curious too i feel like the clock's ticking on me i mean whatever you end up doing i'll support it and try to go along with it like i want to do something i wouldn't know what to do i don't either maybe tech talk will tell me because yeah and then you go what then she becomes that kid at school who like quote unquote ruins it for all the others like it's a weird a weird thing anyone else's plan like it's very tough i don't quite know because i mean and m made a good point like i don't like said like i don't know anyone as an adult who like still points to that as the one big like trauma of their life yeah but on the other hand you know i'm sure

it's not easy to realize that your parents have been lying to you for years being really hard and feeling like really deceived and i mean i was very sensitive as a kid but like i remember feeling like wow is anything i know true like they really hoodwinked me and it wasn't with bad intention but it really didn't feel good and then i felt dumb because i was one of the later kids to figure it out and i mean it's a lot of uh pressure well good luck with that anyway thanks thanks a lot i feel like now with the internet there's probably ways you can go about it that are more nuanced and maybe gentle. of Santa as, you know, kind of a magical tradition that's, you know, not necessarily literally true, but it's, you know, part of the lore of Christmas sort of. So you kind of gently frame it as not necessarily.

So they're aware of Santa, but it's not like, hey, all these gifts Santa brought you. He's climbing down our chimney. It's very specific. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah yeah okay so i don't know i'm gonna try and figure that out but well whatever you do i'll try not to ruin it no promises okay good i already bought you a beard and a hat i'm gonna be santa but you're gonna have to um eat a few more cookies to really fill out the suit and if there's weed in there i'm in oh good i'd be the best santa oh okay so here is is it my turn i don't know i think so so this is a one-star review by callie and this is also of the mall

at wellington green this is my second year taking pictures as a family with him my toddler doesn't like him very much i don't like him either. The first year we took pictures with him, I thought maybe he's just having a bad day. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt. This year, we went again and my toddler started crying as soon as we came closer to him. He suddenly closed his eyes and wouldn't say a word. This is Santa. Oh, I thought it was a toddler. No.

No way. It's Santa. Santa suddenly closed his eyes I thought it was a toddler. No. No way. It's Santa. Santa suddenly closed his eyes and wouldn't say a word. I looked at him and was hoping he was just trying to play with her, but nothing. He didn't open his eyes until it was time to take the picture. After that? He's like, get me out of here and just like went into some... He went to his happy place.

His happy place and just disappeared for a moment. He went to his timeshare in Naples, Florida. He was like, I got to go to my happy place for a minute. He didn't open his eyes until it was time to take the picture. After that, he didn't say a word, not even a smile. The one who told us to grab a little hat was the photographer. I will never go back again. End of review.

Jesus. So the kid starts crying and he just closes his eyes and he's like, this is where I snap? Like, what's... Yeah, I was... This is it? This is the last straw? I'd be afraid. I'm afraid of him.

I wouldn't be angry at the Santa. I'd be scared. I'd be absolutely terrified. He's like the calm before the storm. Yeah, he closes his eyes and everyone just holds their breath. I mean, it sounds so frightening santa's claws are coming out i feel like if my toddler doesn't like a grown-up it's kind of like how if my dog doesn't like someone i'm like okay you probably have better instinct better instinct

than i do yeah i think santa has great instincts not trusting this toddler santa's actually i'm on i'm on santa's side he's like what did my therapist tell me to do count to 100 and then count backwards put my problems in a little box tape it up and launch it into outer space i love that the photographer i mean it seemingly just acted like nothing happened i bet santa was like hey look one of some of these kids i'm just gonna need to take a moment. Cut cover for me. I bet Santa didn't say anything, but the photographer's like, okay, I'm learning his tells.

And when he closes his eyes, they're not coming back open. Also, these photographers have to deal with these children, so they probably understand. They're like, yeah, we get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. That's really alarming. Here's a one-star review. This isn't so about the santa but santa's mentioned in it but i liked it anyway this is of superstition springs center in mesa arizona one-star review

this is by sean there's no punctuation here good i attend this mall for everything i buy my work clothes here eat take my niece to the shows mary go around to see santa i go to the theater on days to see willie willie willikers is this what to see we willie willikers stop with christian get his name right we will get his name out of your fucking mouth i'm sorry we wille Willie Weber. Sorry. Yes. Where was I in this? Start over. One sentence, long ass paragraph. I am starting over.

Oh, man. I attend this mall for everything. I buy my work clothes here to eat, take my niece to the shows, Mary go round to see Santa. I go to the theater on days I have meetings. I used to love the on days I have meetings. I used to love the mall until me and my wife wandered in a little late and didn't realize they were closing.

The night security guard yelled at us for being in there and called my wife stupid. We won't be back. End of review. Oh, no. Oh, no. I feel like this is verging on another business lesson. Yeah.

We spend so much. We eat here. We go on the merry-go-round. And when I'm not called stupid, I spend a lot more money. Yeah. So maybe watch your words. That's got to be rough. Yeah.

The next Uggs and Air. Yeah. Are you excited? I don't know. Is it of the Kenwood Town Center? No, this is actually of a book called Hot Mall Santa. Wink. Huh?

It's called Hot Mall Santa. Okay. Uh-huh. This is a book. It's $0 on Kindle Unlimited. And I'll read you the synopsis okay okay you better watch out you better not cry hot mall santa is coming to town what what i'm sorry what i don't know. I don't know.

The song is different. I don't like it. Yeah, it is. They forgot a line. Yeah, I don't like it. You better watch out. You better not cry. That's how I always want my erotica to start.

Yeah. You better not cry. That's what the guy, Trippendales, basically, when he was humping my face. He said, don't be sad. He said, don't be sad. He said, don't be sad. Whispered that in my ear. And they continued to hump my face. Oh, God.

Oh, God. It's terrible. Leaving. You better watch out. You better not cry. Hot mall Santa is coming to town. Instead of round and jolly, this year's mall Santa is chiseled and smoldering. The second he strolls into oakville

toddlers are gonna love that that's what they that's what they want in their santas that's what the the brainstorm they did a lot of focus group testing and that's what's in right now the second he strolls into oakville mall wearing sunglasses stubble and his santa hat cocked to the side santa gets all the tongues wagging. Especially Tom's. A lowly, nerdy retail associate at the decor store, Tom spends his time chasing a promotion and boss that are both out of reach. His fantasies about being a ho-ho-ho for Santa soon cross into reality after an unexpected night together. While the rest of the town obsesses over hot mall Santa, Tom gets to know the sweet, nerdy history buff

under the suit and six-pack abs. But to win Santa's heart, he must fight off the lusty moms, adoring fans, and his own fear of rejection. I thought you were going to say, like, his own children or something. Okay, I'm sorry. His own complex about Christmas.

Like, it's weird to met much so much erotic fiction is strange to me but i don't know mall santa i don't know i guess it makes it weirdly makes sense because of the audience i assume like moms who i don't know who is this for you know like i'm trying to think i think it's for people who enjoy male on male erotica which could be a lot of people which is quite a mix according to the reviews quite a mix and like but it's the santa specifically yeah you're right the setting is a little bit. Maybe I'm wrong. I see I don't know much.

But I feel like Santa, the attraction there. It feels a lot like it's a little too close to the world of children. Yes. I think maybe it's what's luring me off. That is weird. I think that's getting to me. But also Santa like having chiseled, like being smoldering and that's not santa's thing santa's like jolly and like i know but i yeah like a bear you know but i guess that's the twist you know sit on my

lap like there's all that weird stuff you can yeah but santa can still be santa looking oh i see you know yeah and sexy oh well You're like, no way. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's possible. I guess. Tell us what you think. Please don't.

Write it. This is a three-star review. Oh, yeah. We haven't even gotten to the review yet. No. I want to read this. Okay. 3.5, actually.

But three stars and then the title is 3.5. Corny but quite funny include santa talking dirty and pornographic use of reindeer antlers that's too far i'm out if you're in the mood for a low angst sexy christmas story with a retail setting pick Pick this one up. Imagine putting that in. Low angst? Imagine putting that in one of those flow charts where it's like, in a Cosmo girl, like, what kind of erotica do you feel like reading? High angst

or low angst? One of the reviews said it was way too angsty, so I guess that might be a thing. If you're in the mood for a low angst... Is that a thing in erotic? I guess for a low angst they mean like erotic i guess so interesting sexy christmas story with a retail setting specifically pick this one up you'll never look at a mall santa the same way again that sounds like a threat that does sound like and it feels like a threat they're not gonna look at you because their eyes are gonna be closed okay wow those okay well my next one is a one-star review of and i'm curious what your

thoughts are okay uh this is a one-star review of quail springs mall in oklahoma city um one star this is by uh r Typical mall overall. I know malls and brick-and-mortar stores are suffering all over, and I am sorry for them. I was very disappointed in the experience our family had in trying for a memorable encounter for my three-year-old granddaughter with Santa. Poor Santa was very tired and less than jolly. Poor Santa was very tired and less than jolly. My biggest beef was that in order to obtain any photographic record of the occasion, we were forced to pay the resident photographer a minimum of $25 for one shot. I find this repulsive and unacceptable.

I was offended by the practice, as well as by the employees rudely enforcing it. It made for a very tarnished holiday spirit for us. Shame on you! end of review i mean where have they been has yeah i so i don't even remember i mean i don't remember ever doing i mean i assume we did with francisca mall stuff yeah mall santa stuff i don't remember do you pay every time is it always paid yeah every single one well that's the one that we've as far as i know yeah i always thought they were the photos i thought i will say 25 sounds pretty freaking steep it does but i feel like i don't know i feel like any yeah gimmicky thing that you take

professional photos like you're gonna have to pay for those photos yeah even at like the theme park when you get a photo like that's 25 bucks you know yeah but like in this case like how make it cheaper and not have pay a photo like i feel like everyone has camera phones now it doesn't make much sense to like that's probably why they're so they're mad it's more like they couldn't take their own photo they had to pay this photographer definitely saw people get in trouble for trying to take a photo on their phone. I wouldn't go so far as saying they should feel ashamed, this company or whatever. And I also feel like when the employees

are rudely enforcing the rule, I'm like, well, they kind of have to enforce the rule. I don't know what to tell you. If you're breaking the rules, it's on you. They can't let it slide. I mean, they have to enforce the rule i don't know what to tell you like if you're breaking the rules i can't let it slide i mean they have to keep their jobs i mean yeah it's 25 is way too fucking much for one photo yeah right it's absolutely you're right like at the same time i'm like well if this were time pre smartphone then like okay that's the only way you're gonna get a photo but yeah it's a really steep it It seems weird. It seemed weird. I do feel like I'm going to have to if I ever do this kind of thing with Leona, which I feel like I'm going to wait till she's old enough.

I'm curious to tell me when she wants to do it. I don't think I'm ever going to be like ghosted on Santa's lap. Yeah, because that was I remember being scared of that Easter Bunny. Terrified. Like things like that. And she's not really like she's much less. She doesn't seem scared of sensitive than i was and that we were like much less scared of things but still like so far i'm just gonna let her decide when she wants to do that if she wants to do that

um but if we do i feel like i'm gonna check up front how much things cost because i don't like that feeling of sticker shock because then your kids they're like let me get the photo yeah it's hard to say no yeah at that point yeah that's true i mean yeah if you get through the line and if you waited that whole time they're like yep 25 bucks or you're walking out of here with no photo yeah which sucks i mean yeah but i mean part part of it is just for the kid getting to meet Santa, too, though. That's true. So if that's free, at least. I don't know. Like, if the kid can at least chat with Santa and, like, get that experience, that memory. Yeah.

Without the photo. For free. That's true. Maybe that's worth it. I don't know. I don't know. I'm very curious to see how all the Santa and Christmas stuff for Leona. Yeah, all that's left of the mall is my memories so if you

are the last one out could you turn off the lights i'll turn them off don't worry i will never get over that i'm so sorry okay this is a four-star review it's actually a redemption of hot mall santa this is by laura and the title is is regrettable the title of the review i can't wait i'm sure i'm gonna love it yeah the title is holy holiday hard on yeah laura says this was the blast of holiday laughs and smiles i needed to kickstart the season it was a few weeks until christmas and the malls were all a flutter with shopping and complaining and shopping some more which meant long days and nights for tom at the decor store. After three years, Tom was still busting his butt trying to impress and dazzle his boss in more ways than one.

But life at the mall this holiday season changes in a dash when Hot Mall Santa swaggers on in. The gossip, stares, drooling, lap dances, and more over Hot Mall Santa causes quite a stir. What does Tom want for Christmas this year? Pick up this fun, laugh- laugh out loud treat to find out. I had so much fun with this story. The naughty ho-ho holiday dirty talk filled with Christmas puns, spankings, antlers, and more made me blush as bright as Rudolph's nose. I don't like the antler stuff.

The antlers are so sharp. Upsetting to me. What is happening there and are they attached to the reindeer are they on your head removed from the right yes what are they fake are they real or is it like a strap on oh god antlers it could be oh dear this part is in bold dear santa you can come down my chimney anytime you want. Okay, unbold. But there is also huge sweetness underneath it all too. Yes, we get the filthy reindeer games, but we also get

sweet notes and exchanges, bonus bag fries, diehard viewings. Diehard is a Christmas movie. Waffle love. Sharing. That's its own thing. Sharing what? I just felt I needed to keep the pause fluid so that we all knew.

Waffle love. Sharing. Dreams. What's waffle love? We went by that one pretty quick. I thought maybe it's something I just don't know. Waffle love. Sharing.

Dreams. And a layer of dorkiness that I adored. It all added up to a sexy, sweet read filled with holiday cheer. Put this on your Christmas list. And then the tag that they put is MM Holiday Loving. MM? Like male, male, male, male.

Oh, yeah. MM Holiday. Oh, it's a tag. But it's lowercase, so it looks like MM Holiday Loving. MM Holiday Loving. Got it's lowercase, so it looks like holiday loving. Holiday loving. Waffle loving. This does sound, it sounds, I get it.

A lot of people said it was very fun and funny. I mean, the way they described it, it sounds cute and goofy. A lot of people said it was very funny, like laugh out loud funny. So, you know, maybe it's a palate cleanser, so to speak. I like that my next one is of that same morristown mall the depressing one in morristown new jersey but this is a four star review okay would not call it a redemption but this is a four star review by frank okay good mall pretty small though if you're coming here for Santa, this one is pretty vanilla and expressionless.

End of review. Whoa. So rude. Ouch. Vanilla. This Santa's too vanilla for me. Honestly. It's not an erotic novel. I mean, it's Santa.

It's no holiday loving. No lap dances, nothing. Just bland, expressionless. Santa wouldn't take any clothes off for me. It was so weird. I wonder if this is the one that was there for like 58 years or the other one. Remember? He said there's a new one.

No, because this was four years ago. This review. And the last one was this year. So probably. Oh, he was in his twilight years. The autumn of his life. That's what it was. The autumn of his life. Oh what it was the autumn of his life that is

i was so upset i'm gonna cry again i hope that sticks with you forever i'll send i'll send you no the link so you can reread it later i'm not gonna reread i'm gonna print it out on printer paper like dad always does he's he prints out the web page where he found it and then um the advertisements will still be on the side oh gosh how many more do you have left just one of redemption i have um one okay i'll just tell you this is a book called diary of a Mall Santa by Stuart Scott. I'm going to show you. Stuart Scott? That's the Stuart Scott I know.

Wow. And the tagline says The truth, the ho-ho-ho-ho truth and nothing but the truth. So ridiculous. This is sold on walmart.com. And here is a three-star review. The title is, this is from Amazon, verified purchase.

The title is, some stories were touching, others had snide remarks attached that took away from the joy of Christmas. Now, I want to point out this book, actually a lot of people, it reminds me of your first review, because a lot of people said, wow, some of these stories were really dark and heavy and some were like laugh out loud funny um but then others once i started to get into it were crin like just a little cringe you'll see this is a verified purchase by farm girl three stars i got this book for free on a daily deal i would not pay for it even 2.99 i was hoping for a fun upbeat hilarious set of christmas stories from children since they say the craziest things instead i got some heartfelt stories but more often than not seemingly snide and rude remarks about people's kids and their lifestyles i am not saying that i'm not judgmental at times

and that i love how everyone parents, but I don't write a book about people's bratty children. For example, page 1387 on Kindle, preface, a fairly young mom- Wait, wait, 1387 on Kindle? It's, sorry, it's location 1387. Okay, I don't know how Kindles work, but I'm like, is this thing 1,300 pages long? No, no. It's confusing. It says location, 1,387. I said page to make it clearer, but it's Kindles. You can change the size of the font and everything. You can make it. Okay, okay.

So I don't know what actual page it's on. For example, location 1,387 on Kindle. Preface, a fairly young mom brought her daughter in to sit on Santa's lap. Appears unwed with her own mom in tow. Oh, no. Santa, you naughty boy. Santa. You naughty minx.

What are you going to say? Tell her to keep her legs together, the grandmother shouted. It's about the little girl when she's sitting on his lap. Tell her to keep her legs together, the grandmother shouted. I felt like adding this is santa i felt like adding you should have told your daughter that about four years ago oh my god i kept my mouth shut like a good santa oh wow he deserves a round of applause she appeared young and unwed holy shit yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Whether you think it or not, it's just rude.

I think that little blurb sums up how I feel about this book. Also to be like, I thought that, but I didn't say it, but here I'm going to write it in a book. But don't worry. Like I'll tell you about how funny I am and how witty I was. Yeah, a lot of it was very cringe.

But I wouldn't say it out loud. Don't worry. There was apparently a whole part where he said, an African-American family came to see santa and i realized that it doesn't matter that they were not white they still wanted the magic of christmas and everyone was like dude what the fuck are you talking about weird like it was very oh man cringe and like the stuff about like um i'd rather sit on the erotic santa's lap for real any day any day well i mean he just whispered don't be sad yeah just the stuff like oh she appears unwed i'm like that's so gross it's so gross i i don't know and so there's a

lot of problematic shit in there. It's so goddamn Santa. Like, he basically had a whole book of just, like, commenting on different people's families and, like, the kind of things he saw. I feel like the Santa from Nathan For You was also fairly troubling at times. Yes. He was, like, gun obsessed or something. There's, like, some things that were. Yes, he had, like, a gun collection or something. There's some things in there that I think he was like a little off but i don't know

because i mean they're real people they're people yeah it feels like they're just a character but then you remember like oh but in the off season so to speak like they have a life they have hobbies and lives man that's wild so you just have a redemption right i do okay i have one redemption after you okay so this this is the best redemption i think i could have found very excited for it because guess who wrote it santa nope close who mrs. Okay, that's very cute. That's a five-star review. Santa Claus and I have been coming here for the last five years.

Oh, sorry. This is at the Wilton Mall in Saratoga Springs, New York. I was like, where? Sorry. I want to go. Five stars. Santa Claus and I have been coming here for the last five years. We are the mall clauses and seem to be the only Mr. and Mrs.

in the Northeast. We love the people here. We love the atmosphere, love being here. Santa is a real bearded Santa, real jolly fella. Parents love that he takes time for each child,

whether they have one or nine. Most kids love him, but in occasional 18 months, a three-year-old are afraid of him. End of review. But then I tell him, but in an occasional 18 months, a three-year-old are afraid of him. End of review. But then I tell him, just close your eyes and picture yourself at our timeshare in Naples and you'll be okay. Yeah. Aw, that's sweet.

Sure enough, the profile picture is her as Mrs. Claus, like the couple dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claus. And Christina, I scrolled through all the reviews just to look. They had maybe a couple, like three stars. Yeah. Everything was five stars. It was the most positive Google review page I've ever seen in my life. That's so nice. And it just made me very happy.

I love that. Yeah. I like when a couple does the Santa thing. Right. Because it makes it feel so much more real and wholesome. And I love how she's like a real bearded one. That's his thing. Because I looked at, for a while, I didn't really find any good ones.

But I looked at hire a Santa for your mall, your event. And I was going through all the different profiles. And they make it very clear. And you can be certified as a real beard bearded Santa versus like the, you know. Well, this guy's real. Wow. The real deal. Okay.

So here's a redemption of Diary of a Mall Santa by Stuart Scott. The truth, the ho, ho, ho, ho truth and nothing but the truth. This is a five star review. If I don't say so myself, this is a pretty good book. Santa might not replace Hemingway or John Grisham, but neither of those guys could have written this book. That's one way to look at it. I mean... Technically, I guess.

You're not wrong. If you're over 18 years of age, this is a must read. It will have you laughing and crying, but maybe not at the same time. Maybe. Maybe not. We'll see. I think at first I thought it meant. Okay.

I think at first when I read this, I'm realizing I thought it meant it will have you laughing and crying, but maybe not at the same time. Like, but also maybe it won't have you laughing. Oh, I see. Maybe not at the same time, but maybe not at the same time. I'm getting it now. Sorry. It will have you laughing and crying, but maybe not at the same time.

After reading Diary of a Mall Santa, you will always be a believer. In what? Based on the one excerpt I had, I don't know what to believe. But it's not good. Oh, I forgot to tell you who wrote this review. Mrs. Claus. Santa Stew is the name of the profile. Santa Stewart Scott.

No fucking way. Yes fucking way. It's just written about his own book? Correct. Is that allowed? I don't think that's allowed, technically. Santa Stew said, and that's why I guess he started, which still doesn't make sense, If I Don't Say So Myself.

Wait, what? If I Don't Say So Myself, this is a pretty good book. I don't get it. I just will never understand. But Santa Stu, even in his profile, has himself with his beard. I love how he brings up John Grisham. His other favorite authors, Hemingway and John Grisham. That was on Goodreads, too.

Oh, that was on Goodreads. Yeah. That's funny. I want to say that he only has two reviews, Santa Stu does. So let me find... I need to know what his other review is of. I know. I'm so regretting that I didn't check.

I hope it's an erotic one. And it's a one star of the erotic one. Complaining. Oh, my God. Okay, let's see santa stew okay oh no age 80 lives in homewood illinois interests writing researching meeting with believers which like santa believe i know but it out of context sounds...

Yeah, it sounds... Sailing, golf, teasing Mrs. Santa. Oh! Mrs. Santa. Mrs. Favorite books. Books about kind Arthur. Okay, I think they mean King Arthur.

Like, like... The aardvark? The aardvark? Books about kind Arthur. He was just a wee lad when i was about 300 years old this is not real ready no i don't think so about me in addition to meeting with children and adults and delivering gifts on christmas eve i have just written my first book diary of a mall santa is a collection of 113 short stories can you imagine if they were long stories though well no wonder it's page 1387

113 short stories about my encounters with children and other believers some of the stories are tender and heartwarming some are rib splitting funny some are heartbreaking yet all are true my friends at amazon are selling it for me when you think about all the good stuff i've done for you over the years now you can return the favor and buy my book you'll love it so he's basically trying to claim cash in on all the good stuff that every Santa has done and say, now buy my book. To be fair, this sounds like a very interesting topic. Absolutely. I would love to hear this perspective from someone who didn't say the gross misogynistic things.

You know, like, I feel like this could be done. Like if John Grisham were a mall Santaanta for a couple years yeah i would love to read yeah but that would put his account santa stew out of business yeah here is um which we can't have here are the three books that he's read or not read but he's read three books in his life sorry here they are he's read a lot about his own book he's reviewed three books okay first is diary of a mall santa five stars uh the next is called truman by david mccullough my ex loved this book uh it's about you know harry truman oh harry truman um about the outbreak of the cold war korean war, etc. Gave that five stars. And then finally, a book called Boomer Men Working, Strategies for Staying Employed.

Aww. So. Is that what led to becoming a mall Santa? Maybe. A how-to book for boomer generation men who want to hang on to their present job or find a new one. It's a man's book because men need more help on the employment scene than their women contemporaries

do oh okay oh sure okay whatever that means they're just not hiring women as mall santas these days it's just too bad you know woke culture it's really getting in the way that's that um i didn't i wonder if i can read the review how do do I read a review? Maybe it's just a writing. He writes, John Grisham couldn't have written this book. No, he wrote a very pleasant review about this. Oh, good. So, good for him. Anyway, looks like he's doing good stuff with his life. Good for...

I'm happy for him. Good for Stu? Stu. Santa Stu. Santa for... Stew? Stew. Santa Stew. Santa Stew. Speaking of stew, I think it's time for my challenge. Mmm. Tell me more.

My challenge was to... It was from Blaze, right? Yes. And it was to find reviews where someone went somewhere just because they had a gift right? Yes. And it was to find reviews where someone went somewhere just because they had a gift card. Yes. Doesn't have much to do with stew.

I just needed to transition to the challenge somehow. They went to Soup Plantation. Soup Plantation. Got a stew. R.I.P. R.I.P.? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they went bankrupt. Oh.

I literally see you typing it. I'm not typing it.? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they went bankrupt. Oh. I literally see you typing it. I'm not typing it. Oh, I thought you were. I was. I know! I saw you move from the P to the A. It says, oh, Sweet Tomatoes, operating a soup plantation in Southern California, was a United States-based chain of all-you-can-eat buffet-style restaurants.

I only went once with you. Anyway, this is actually a review of massage luxe oh uh this is in willow brook illinois this is a two-star review by joanne i had the most aggressive facial here parentheses broken capillaries afterwards i only came here because i had a gift card, but I don't think I'll come back. Broken capillaries? Jesus Christ, that sounds painful.

How did you send me? Nothing. Who is this? It's a late, great Wee Willie Webber. Is that Wee Willie Webber on a stamp or something? Oh, no, it's not a stamp. He's just in a photo. Why did you send me that? I don't know. Okay okay his capillaries look normal so that was that one broken capillaries gross i'm upset by that sorry okay you don't seem it but i'm

not this next one is of coco bay it's a tanning nail salons massage it's in Vineland, New Jersey. This is a one-star review. I went here because I had a gift card. I often get facials and figured I would try them since I wanted to use a gift card. The owner did my supposed facial. She barely spent any time with me and didn't even have facial products. She basically washed my face a little with what was probably hand soap, then picked at it some, leaving my skin red and irritated. She tried getting me to schedule multiple visits in order to, quote, help my skin, and claimed she would be getting a high-end line of facial products.

Don't advertise and schedule people for services you cannot perform. That's just dishonest. Then, with the money remaining on the gift card i decided to get a manicure and give them another chance what i got was pathetic to say the least the owner had a really young girl do my manicure i wouldn't be surprised if it was her first manicure and there's no way she went to school for it she was probably hired to answer the phone and schedule appointments the girl was really nice and talkative but when i left it looked like my five-year-old niece had done my nails. What a waste.

Also, prior to getting that gift card, I bought a month of tanning since our location is close to the school I went to, and I figured it would be really convenient. I went in their tanning bed like three times and realized I was starting to tan, but I had a white line, parentheses, untanned area, going up the side of my body. Obviously, the bed slash bulbs were not up to par and definitely not in working order. I informed them and nothing was done, such as reimbursement or compensation. I figured that they were obviously not checking their equipment and therefore it was unsafe. Well, more unsafe since tanning ages your skin and can cause cancer. I never

went back to finish the month of tanning I paid for, which was better anyway since it's very harmful. I only went back because of the gift card and I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. What a mistake. This place sucks. I had to give one star because Yelp doesn't let you give zero stars. LOL of review whoa like was she gonna go back if it was a good tan i don't know it's like going back three times and you're like yeah i'm not going back it's really dangerous did multiple times so i could see you definitely going back again and to be like oh wow this is really bad for you so i'm not going back it's like well it was bad for you before you got a shitty tan i don't know they did you a favor by

not yeah there you go they're doing something bad to that one strip. That one strip of skin is going to be melanoma free. Yeah. Also, every other sentence had a parentheses and I stopped reading them because I was like, or stopped saying parentheses because it was just so unnecessary. It'd be like period. And then the whole next sentence would be in parentheses. I don't know. It was a weirdly written review. necessary it'd be like period and then the whole next sentence would be in parentheses i i it was

a weirdly written review i feel bad for whoever got her the gift card and was just trying to be nice you know she got a lot out of it a facial and a manicure yeah but expensive it didn't did not seem worth it also what's going on with these facials that are all so bad i know I don't know. Like a gift card. Broken capillaries? That makes my skin crawl. Broken cap... Like, Jesus. I mean, I think I'd rather have this second one where she just put Glade or whatever, or Dawn dish soap on her face. You know?

Oh, that's so true. Okay. My next one is of Arby's. Okay. This is an Arby's in Richmond, Texas. So, this reviewer's name is Mark. And that's kind of important. Okay. This is an Arby's in Richmond, Texas. So this reviewer's name is Mark. That's kind of important. Okay.

You'll see. One star review. I'll take your word for it. Not a participating gift card location. What a bummer. Fool me once with your story. Fool me twice. I've got to yelp it.

Sam. End of review. read that exactly as it's written i don't know it's fool me once with your story dot dot dot fool me twice i've gotta yelp it period sam and then there's a link for tpublic.com where you can buy that on a shirt. I wish. Zero, nobody's bought it. Fool me twice, I've got to yelp it. Yeah, I feel like that's actually, let's make a pin. We should make a pin. Fool me twice, I got to yelp it. It has a nice ring to it.

It doesn't make any fucking sense with the first part, but. Right? Fool me twice, I got to yelp it. That's like a powerful sentiment. I don't know if they're talking to someone named Sam. Maybe someone works there named Sam. But they just said Sam at the end. Like it wasn't comma Sam.

Like they were talking to Sam. It was just period S, capital S-A-M. No period after. Just Sam. Maybe they had more to say and they just stopped? Maybe they've got a... A sammich from Arby's? more to say and they just stopped? Maybe they've got a... A sandwich? From Arby's?

I was about to say a sandwich. Maybe they... They want to be in a sandwich. They got a call... Wait, no. They got fooled twice. Had to yelp it. Didn't want to do it on their own page.

So they went to Mark's account true and posted it there instead to show okay it makes so much sense yes i know i know thank you it makes about as much sense as fool me once fool me once with your story with your story fool me twice i've gotta yelp it is so good i don't think i've ever heard such a good catchphrase i feel like yelp needs to try and pick that up because it's really good this is so good oh my god oh man excellent stuff excellent stuff and like i don't get any more information from mark's other review because he had only written two reviews. Sure, that'd be too easy.

And has one friend. Oh, good. Who I'm just going to assume is a partner or someone related because it's from the same town with the same last initial. Oh, intriguing. Interesting.

Oh, but they have more friends. Is there a Sam in here? No. Oh, that's what I was wondering. I was looking for Sam, but they have more friends. Is there a Sam in here? No. That's what I was wondering. I was looking for Sam, but oh well. All right. I've got one more. Great.

This one's a bit on the longer side, so don't worry. Lots of great content here. Good. This is a review of Texas Roadhouse in La Plata. La Plata, which is in Maryland. What? La Plata, Maryland. Okay.

Here is a one-star review titled Not Customer Friendly. This is by Barbara. This is my last one. Here we go. Buckle up. this is my last one here we go buckle up this may be a waste of time but i want other people to know how bad paying customers are treated at the la plata texas roadhouse by the manager that was quite a convoluted set of different what do you call that uh in a sentence where it's like the little pieces

yeah when they would make us make those little trees i was so bad at those good at those i know you were i was so good at them i loved them hated them so much i still don't totally understand what they were but it helped me learn adverbs but um you know what helped me learn adverbs is i messed it up in eighth grade and then because i messed it up our teacher made us all march around the room saying ly is an adverb ending ly is an adverb ending because of me hey you know what you only had to change your name twice when all the kids came after you first greg then sam for um okay so sorry that it would i just felt like the sentence should have ended and then there were like more additions yeah and they had no commas so all right which made it a lot worse can you read it one more time this may be a waste of time but

i want other people to know how bad paying customers are treated at La Plata Texas Roadhouse by the manager that is a waste of time they are correct on that anyway and I'm about to waste everyone's time yep I am sure they will lie to try to keep business coming there after I put in my review but you as a consumer can decide for yourself who to believe and just try to use a promotion like I have tried that the main office of Texas Roadhouse puts out and you will see how snotty La Plata management will get. We always have problems every time we go to this Texas Roadhouse. Texas Roadhouse puts out coupons and specials,

but the manager does not like customers using them. The very first time when we went there, we had a gift card that a friend gave us. We also had a coupon for a free side dish. When we went to use it, the manager told us, you can't use a gift card with a coupon. Of course, that is crazy because a gift card isn't a coupon. It is like money that you pay for it. So after 10 minutes of arguing with him, he said he would let us use the coupon this one time with the gift card, but never again. So years passed before we could use our money there again, thinking they must have gotten better by now with customers and are more customer friendly. But boy, were we wrong.

So we just recently saw for the holidays they had a gift card special. Buy a gift card for $ 30 and you get a card for five dollars so i bought the cards for my kids and friends also on the advertisement it said if you spend a hundred dollars in gift cards you get a free bucket which had some steak seasoning in it i have no idea what a promo oh yum if you you spend $100 in gift card to get a bucket with some steak seasoning. Waffle loving. What was the other? Waffle love.

Yeah, it was waffle loving, wasn't it? Or waffle love? I don't know. So I bought seven gift cards at $30 each, costing $210. The waitress gave me my seven gift cards I paid for at the table, and the seven $5 cards. After we ate, as we were leaving, we saw that the sign said if you buy $100 in gift cards,

you get a bucket with a seasoning in it. I'm like, yes, we know that. They just had to repeat it. So I showed that waitress my receipt, and she gave me a bucket. When I got to my car, I realized I spent $200, so we should get two buckets, according to the sign. So my 20-year-old son went back in. The waitress told him to go ahead and get it. As he was getting it, that nasty manager came up and said something about already gave us a deal.

He had no idea what he was talking about so we just left the next day my husband went in to talk to him about it and he was just as nasty with him so a few weeks passed they literally got the buckets and got the gift cards just go i think they didn't get that second bucket they didn't get it they said we just left okay so i i don't know oh my god they got at least these buckets so much? It's so funny. You already got one. I love those reviews so much.

How many buckets do you need? For some reason. It just keeps going. Christina, this person, they just love their deals. They will not. Christina, I'm at the top of it. It keeps going. Holy shit.

Here we go. Block of text. The next day, my husband went in to talk to him about it, and he was just as nasty with him. So a few weeks passed, and we went in with our kids and friends to use the gift cards we had given them. There were four adults and two kids. I showed the waitress the $5 cards. She said she would have to ask her manager if we could use more than one. I reread the back of the card to her.

It clearly stated per visit not per table and obviously we were all there visiting and we each wanted to use our five dollar card so it's just one per visit it says what use one per visit and they're like but we're all visitors and there's children there who aren't taking one of their, they're not paying for their chicken tenders by themselves. Oh my God. This is wild. And as clear as Texas Roadhouse coupons are, they would say per table if it was per table. No, no, they're not clear at all.

You're complaining that they're not clear? They just have a sign that they give you a bucket and that's how clear they are? So the nasty manager comes to our table saying he would let us use one i said where does that card say we can only use one he said it says per visit i said exactly and the four of us are each visiting no i said it doesn't say per table as you keep insisting no also we were each paying separately yeah the four-year-old wanted to pay separately i'm sure no he was saying the four four adults and two children so he was saying before don't worry or she barbara i'm saying there could be four-year-old children we didn't know how old the children are

why are you making the children pay for their own meal he's what they're not i thought i said they're all paying separate four of them there's four adults and two children did it say four of us are paying separately yes oh okay yes so it says i mean just let me rewind a little bit just to make sure there were four adults and two kids and then it says later it says um i said exactly and the four of us are each visiting uh and we're paying separately gotcha he kept arguing with us so we said fine then we will all four sit at separate tables oh my god then he got real nasty with us and said we were pulling stuff with them yeah like getting a free bucket when we got the five dollar cards with our gift cards you can't think i forgot about the bucket. Oh, he said it was one or the other.

So, oh. So they got, they spent a bunch of money in gift cards and got free $5 cards. Right. But they were supposed to choose either the $5 cards or the bucket. Oh, they got both. And instead they got both. Okay. I didn't even notice that until now. That's wild.

Oh, this is just such a trip. We'll sit at different tables. I mean, talk about semantics. That's so annoying. That's just ridiculous. I told him the sign did not say that, and his staff gave it to us. He kept arguing we owed him a bucket back. Tired of the harassment, we told him we were leaving and wanted our four or five dollar cards back he got nastier and said he was keeping them i called and told the head manager how we

were treated and he was just as nasty but agreed to not steal our cards again and gave them back to us we will never go there again we will use our gift cards at a far away texas roadhouse and never put a dime in that business again it is always a problem when we have tried to go there even the food is so salty they roll the potatoes in salt as you can see it on the potatoes even the steak is over salted it is the worst place i have ever been to and we eat out a lot end of review yeah that much i figured out holy crap i honestly feel very bad for the feel very sorry for this manager because like what is he supposed to do they're genuinely like breaking every rule and then insisting that they're gonna pay separately which already is a pain in the ass but okay and then oh we all want a discount

I mean the the amount of just you're putting this manager in a shitty spot. Yeah. Because a manager, it's not like this manager relies on this money that you're spending. Like, that money doesn't go directly to the manager. You know, like... He's not just trying to scam you. He's trying to enforce the rules so he doesn't get in trouble. Yeah.

And the restaurant doesn't get in trouble. God. So, to, like, I don't know. I like that they're like, we're going to go to another faraway one away one and i'm like let me know how that goes because i have a feeling you're not just gonna be able to like take all their buckets and get discounts all the time yeah man this person's other review also references them eating out a lot and it's a one-star review saying worst food ever about some buffet restaurant in virginia just just like give it a break you're right the semantics it's so wild to argue with the manager about the rules of the gift cards as if you know better than the rules how they're intended

trick the rules i mean i i like i don't think that's fair like why why why are you so insistent if you eat out all the time just like come back four more times or three more times like they were lenient at the start yeah like they gave you chances and clearly you're like a an issue for them so yeah like there comes knows who you are. There's only so much they're going to do for you. Do you think that bucket they like still have set up on top of their fridge

or something? Because I feel like they probably get enraged every time they see it. True. I mean they sort of stole the bucket. Like if they told me that story

I'd be like what the fuck are you talking about? Texas Roadhouse bucket with steak seasoning. I just want to see like if this is a thing. It's probably like

how they have those gift baskets. It's probably like when like how they have those gift baskets it's probably like a bucket wrapped in plastic with like bottles of steak seasoning or something yeah this looks schmancy oh my god this is schmancy it's like a big bucket look at this oh dang yeah dinner for two looks like something you'd you'd win at a yeah yeah yeah looks pretty nice to me. I gotta say, Zandy, people are wild. People are wild. People be wildin'.

People be wildin'. It's just, I don't get it. Just, I don't know. Just relax. Just have some respect for these people who are just trying to do their job. Man, they're just trying to do their job. Yeah. Oh, man.

Give them a break, you know? Take a walk. That's it for me. So what do you want to do for next week? I don't know. We have to make a poll. Okay. So Patreon, if you're on there, you can vote.

We take the top comment, throw it in a poll with two other random topics that we come up with on the spot, and then whichever one wins we end up going with. Yeah, so we'll see what happens. Do we... Have a challenge? Yeah. It's your challenge? Yeah. I'll give you one before we end this.

Just in case anyone wants to help me, you know? I like it. Alrighty, your challenge comes from uh patron levon levon i'm not sure hopefully i said that right uh levon commented on our most recent poll with this idea find a review that mentions a public proposal bonus points if they said no public proposal is fun yeah flash mob anyone flash mob at the texas roadhouse i cannot wait for this okay great job good great job thank you oh it wasn't me it was levon thanks a lot levon thank you sandy and i will see you next week Talk to you then. Bye.