Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 233: Reviews of 90s Computer Games

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Freddi Fish, Putt-Putt, Spy Fox, Pajama Sam, and Fatty Bear walk into a podcast episode... Get your live show tickets now! https://www.beachtoosandy.com Follow us on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Buy some stuff! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back. Roll your way into prizes like coffee, donuts, and even $60 Tim's gift cards. Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply.

Canada only. No purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Okay. Let's settle in.

Okay. Deep breath. Guess what I've been doing. What? Playing Pajama Sam. Pajama Sam? Playing Pajama Sam. Oh, tell me about your time playing Pajama Samuel. Pajama Samuel.

I've been playing Pajama Sam 2, Thunder and Lightning Aren't So Frightening, on my Switch. Oh, no way. They sell it for Switch, and it is so fun. I played it on stream, like, I don't know. It's been a while. Really? Yeah. I have the whole, like, that whole brand, the humongous entertainment or whatever it is.

Wah, wah, woohoo. I have their entire entire basically their entire poor blaze was asleep and it was like 1 a.m and i was like i guess for the sake of research i should turn on pajama pajama sam too what is wrong do you even say pajamas i say pajamas you do yeah so i can't my head can't oh that's embarrassing and well now i say jammy jams because i have a toddler but true true besides the point uh so it's either one or the other jammy jams because I have a toddler, but that's besides the point. So it's either one or the other. Jammy jams or pajamas. I hate them both.

A nightgown. So anyway, I was like, oh, I should just do this for the sake of research. Downloaded it. It was like nine bucks. And then all of a sudden you're like, wah, wah, wah, woo. And I was like, oh my God, poor Blaze. He just can't get a fucking break. Oh, poor Blaze.

We're doing CD-ROMs today, although what do we call them? Point and click? So it's a very specific style of game that was very popular in the 90s. Things like what you would get in a cereal box, that kind of thing. I don't think I have a review like this, so hopefully I'm not spoiling it. But someone was like, yeah, I walked out of Great Clips and the lady handed me a disc with this game on it. And I love it. I think that was one of the putt-putt games. That was a very special time of our lives where you would just download, like basically do the equivalent of downloading stuff from strangers just onto your computer.

Exactly. Yeah, you'd get stuff from. I love that Crunch Berries game from the cereal box. I forgot. That was a great one there was some good i didn't think about that until just now cereal games hey there was one game that i actually went down like a very long rabbit hole trying to find and i could not figure out what it was okay it was this game that we like basically never completed or even got probably past which

is most games i think yeah past like the first five minutes where you're in. It's like a first person game. You're in like a maze. Christina, I know exactly. It's like a medieval or like you're in a castle. Searching night. I have gone through the search and I think I found it once and then I forgot it. I don't know what it is.

I was going through the forums and like people were. Fuck. And nobody mentioned this particular game. That game was so weird. And you get to certain dead ends and there'd be a painting or something. Something you'd have to hit. It was like a button or something. It was also quite old.

I don't think it was... It might have been like 80s. The style was definitely worse than these kinds of games that we're talking about today. Yes, it was very basic. And I think it was either late 80s, maybe early 90s and that when you moved yourself like a lot of these games i think the ones where we brought um the whole point is like all you have to do is click so it's good for kids where because i think with that other one you like would move with the arrow keys or something like forward left right it was very basic but yeah yeah um but yeah uh humongous entertainment

is like the main the big dog in this arena yeah and if you're wondering that is uh like putt putt uh games freddy fish freddy fish uh spy fox spy fox what's that which is one of the most popular ones and everyone that i tell it i've never heard of spy fox before when i was little i hadn't never heard of this are like what how is that possible when you know the other ones i don't know okay but don't listen anymore because i want to i want to just you know just in case some are a fun surprise do you know what i mean i like it i like it okay great mine aren't anymore because we've talked about every single one but great excellent uh cool so who wants to go first i can go ahead with the freddy fish one great this one is of a game

actually i don't think we played of of the Freddy Fish series, Saga. I think there are five of them or so. Oh, my gosh. I know, crazy. The one we played the most that I remember. Nobody knows the trouble of... I feel like... Do you remember what it was?

It was like an escape from... What was it? I think... So, I don't know if the one you're singing from. I think it was this one. It's the search for the golden conch shell yeah that one yeah and then there was like the guy with the dog who'd have to now anyway there was a whole thing um let's walk everybody through let's do our own audio walkthrough of all these cv rocks i think it

was freddy fish three that was freddy yeah case of the stolen conch stolen conch that's right that's what it was that That's what I remember playing. Now. That was a good one. The one I have a review of, though, is of Freddy Fish 2, The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse. Oh, I never played that. Me neither. But that sounds fun, too.

Right? Yeah. Doesn't that sound great? Oh, yeah. Well, here's a not recommended review. Oh. This is someone on Steam. So, all my reviews are on Steam, and it's fun because you can see how long they've played the game.

And that lends them either credibility or not, depending on how much they've played this game. I didn't even realize. This person has only played 1.3 hours of the game. And you'll find out why. Here we go. the game and you'll find out why here we go um and instead of the curse words that i'm gonna just say they're hearts like red hearts i was like what are all these weird hearts on all these reviews those are curse words yeah yeah on steam um on steam exactly so here we go i i i'm filling in the blanks for you all no no punctuation. This is important. Okay, here we go.

I shit my fucking pants. That ghost scarred me for life. Freddy can go deal with this shit himself next time. I'm not doing all that swimming for a fucking elementary school. End of review. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm not doing that swimming as if it's not just like clicking around. The whole point is you don't have to do any labor except click.

It's pretty easy. I didn't know I loved that. It sounds like they got a jump scare. I hope they don't play any of the actual current games because I think they would really be traumatized. I think, yeah. I think games have gotten a little scarier since then. A little more realistic and intense. I don't know, though. I mean, I still think back to watching shows like Casper the Friendly Ghost and just being really terrified.

Yeah. And yeah, sure, now I'd be like, I'm a strong boy now. I'd probably still shit my pants, I'll be honest. I don't think I would. Don't test me, though. I'm afraid. We're not going to test it. I'm too scared.

Just in case. Well, that's too bad. I'm sorry. I feel like a lot of things scarred us as kids, and I wonder if there are things now that will scar the future generation. Oh, I'm sure. But my challenge will touch on that. Oh, okay. Some of it.

Okay. So this is from Melissa, she, her. And it is of a game called Putt-Putt Joins the Circus. Okay, yeah. And is Putt-Putt a little car? Putt-Putt is a car. Because I don't think we played. I see.

I don't think we played. That's what it's. That makes sense. around. We played... I see. I don't think we played... I don't know if that's what it's... That makes sense. Yeah. We did not as children. Yeah. I know about that. I played on stream.

I know about that. And the one I played, Putt-Putt went through time. Whoa. It was pretty crazy. Well, this time he joined the circus. And this person played 0.1 hours of this game. Okay. Which I would like to believe is probably next to nothing and they do not recommend it this is by crispy duck didn't play the game watched a friend playing it just bought it to write this review it was

painful and i hated it we are not friends anymore end End of review. Oh, no. So. Putt-Putt will do that. That's too bad. It ruins friendships. I've heard that. Yeah. Little shit. Little shit.

Yeah. I just like the idea. Because, I mean, I am very privileged in that. In only one way. Oh, yeah. What's that one way? That one way is that I got to play the CDd-roms while everyone else watched because i was the oldest true true and i talked to eva recently and she was like oh i just always watched my

sister play them and i was like but isn't that like wasn't that damaging to you and she's like no i loved it i love to just watch her play and i was like what a nightmare i wouldn't that's why i'd go next door because i was older than austin so he'd watch me play games at his own house let me use your computer we play runescape and by we i mean i and he'd watch me play games at his own house. So he'd be like, let me use your computer. Poor Selene. We'd play RuneScape, and by we, I mean I, and he'd watch me. One time, Selene, I had to pee really bad, so I went to the bathroom, and I came back, and our gerbil was dead in Sims. Oh, Jesus Christ. Sorry, not a real one.

Not a real one. We had a gerbil? She had actually dismantled the ladder to the pool in our backyard. No, I'm just kidding. The gerbil was in there? No, I'm kidding. But we were playing Sims and the hamster died

and I gave her such grief for it. But like, I don't know, she was eight. And also there was no like, I don't know. It was just not fair. I think everyone, you didn't even have to say it wasn't fair for people to be like,

why are you getting mad about a animal in a video game? It was not great. And so watching somebody say uh maybe this is making me feel slightly redeemed because they're like i watch a friend playing it then i bought it and i did not like playing it myself and i'm like see there's a joy to be had and just watch me play it well that's the thing is like i some people like watching stream so many people are like there are people who just watch you play video games. I say, yeah, people are into that.

I'm into that. I love watching professional eSports. I love watching like playthroughs of things. I have zero desire. Like a social setting or something. If other people are playing a game and I'm not. You just have to sit there. I hate it.

Well, I feel like. I hate watching people play video games when I'm there and able to play the game. I wonder if there's like a psychological thing here because I have zero interest in watching a stream where I'm like, why wouldn't I just play the game myself? Yeah. I wonder if there's psychology there where I'm like, well, I never had to watch other people play. I mean, I think if you give it a shot, like I used to not really like it that much. And then I started streaming myself and getting more into the streamer kind of universe. You watch one Pokimane stream, you're hooked for life.

Okay. Pokimane will do that to you. I don't think I need to be hooked on anything else. I've had enough. You should be hooked on Pokimane. We all should be. I'm already hooked on Freddy Fish. Your turn.

Okay, here we go. My next review is of Putt-t saves the the zoo oh okay that was weirdly hard to say putt putt saves the zoo this is a not recommended this person has 0.2 hours into the game so solid what 12 minutes or something um here we go was looking for more save the zoo too much putt-putt the putt-putt was an afterthought i just wanted to play a game at the zoo look i get some flack from this because i've only played one putt-putt game putt-putt's kind of annoying oh is he i thought so this episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking.

Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avion points on debit purchases, and so, so much more. Unlock more perks for less with RBC Advantage. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024.

Visit rbc.com slash student 100. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh, yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment.

That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. What did you think about Pajama Sam? Pajama Sam's kind of a brat, too. No, I love him. But, like, weirdly endearing. I found him quite endearing.

And I played it last night, and I was like, okay, I'm glad to see I still kind of enjoy his company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, like, funny and also just, like, whatever. And he kind of does some sneaky things and then just does not apologize for them. He's like funny and also just like whatever. And he kind of does. Yeah, he's pretty chill. He does some sneaky things and then just does not apologize for them. He's kind of a brat. Yeah, but he doesn't do it in a bratty way. He's just like, I guess I'll hop into this box and just hide.

He just owns it, you're saying. He just does it. Yeah. You know? Yeah, you're like sneaking around a lot of places. Like he's where he shouldn't be. I love it. In that one game, yeah.

It's such a delight. Quite. So next I put Carmen Sandiego, but I didn't actually end up reading any reviews of that. And I apparently just left it in the notes. So it's just as Carmen Sandiego. Then the next one is Barbie's Ocean Discovery, which I don't know if that was a point and click. Because I guess you did have to. But I didn't really know what that meant when I did these reviews.

It doesn't. You know what? Let's just make the title of this episode Reviews of CD-ROMs or something. Yeah. to but I didn't really know what that meant when I did these reviews so it doesn't you know what let's just make the title of this episode reviews of cd-roms do you yeah because I don't know what a point in yeah anyway um do you remember where I got this game Barbie's Ocean Discovery was is it what one of dad's uh no that would have been called like Barbara's sea time adventure or something. No. For Easter, you got the Tonka truck game. Can I tell you, Dee, Christina, Kevin, and I, we were playing some board game at Dee's place.

And on the TV in the background, we wanted to put something up. So we put up a playthrough of that game. No way. What a, like, obscure... It was so weird. And the person... It's a great channel. I'm pretty sure it was this channel.

There's a channel, and this person plays through those old games, and I'm sure all of these... I've watched a lot. ...with zero commentary. Well, and to be fair, I've watched a lot, and I guess that's my version of watching on stream.

Yeah, no, that's the same kind of thing. I've watched a lot. I love commentary in some games. And I guess that's my version of watching on stream. Yeah. No, that's the same kind of thing. I watch them on YouTube. It's just, you know, some people are, you know, providing their own commentary, but this person just plays through it. So you get to kind of just relive what it was like to play it. Remember that weird Lego game? A lot of these are such visceral.

Lego something, Island, Lego Island, maybe, where you're delivering pizzas. Yeah, we had the German language version. It's just so weird. I feel like these are such visceral memories. Yeah, that one where you're like skateboarding around at times. Well, here's the Barbie's Ocean Discovery, which was one of my favorite games. And it was one of Celine's favorite to watch me play and never participate. Oh, I'm so happy for her.

Never participate. Yeah. And I actually found what I thought was just wonderful. It's an Entertainment Weekly Critics Review of this game. From when? From 1999. No way. The year that this was released and the year I got my little grubby hands on it. So this is the, it's a brief review, but it's a review of Barbie's Ocean Discovery in this article.

Let me actually give, Ty Burr wrote this. a review of Barbie's ocean discovery in this article. Let me actually give, Ty Burr wrote this. Mattel Media's latest Barbie CD-ROMs are cases in point. This is, sorry, it's part of a longer article. Adventures with Barbie Ocean Discovery for PC is an underwhelming click and hunt title that for all its cant about saving reefs is about finding buried treasure barbie is an accomplished marine biologist who says things like cool a beautiful

gold charm i'll put it on my bracelet okay so far why can't a marine biologist say that that seems it's the 90s for you you know even? Jeez. Even more spectacularly useless is Talk With Me Barbie for PC, a doll and disc combo whose speech you can customize by choosing names and info on your computer screen, then downloading the data via Barbie's own little terminal. Reading the manual's hilarious precaution list, parentheses, do not move doll's head from side to side or up and down you have to wonder if anyone behind this toy actually has children yeah and they're for view so yeah

apparently there was i would have heard of that died for that i would have loved that toy where you can like if you twist the head it probably just snaps all the electronics inside turn it and it's like all the wires um so that's pretty wild and then i was just looking of course because you had suggested oh or you said does common sense media have cd-rom reviews and so i tried to look up barbie um the only thing i found was barbie barbie mermaid adventure cd-rom which i did not own um but the common sense review this is it's like one line and all it says is, Barbie adventure swims in a sea of mediocrity. Yikes. These are like intense. These are for children.

Anyway, so those are my Barbie reviews. Man, people were serious about this shit back then. Yep. Like it's like, I don't know, Pitchfork writing a Rafi review or something. Yes. Like, chill. Yes. It's like, the depth really isn't there. It's like, but what? Like, what is a baby beluga's motivation?

You know what I'm saying? I just can't really figure it out. And what's happening down by the bay? It's really alarming and someone needs to address it. Oh, no. And yeah, let Barbie wear her jewelry. Let a marine biologist get a little blinged out. You know what I mean?

True. Although apparently... What is that? Like, why was that? That was such a specific thing to get them upset about. And like the idea that it's a marine biologist saying cool is bad or something. That was a weird quote. Okay.

Well, speaking of weird quotes, here's a very quick short review of Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo. This person has 1.8 hours on record. This person's name is Professional Roblox Player. And this is what they have to say about Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo. Add sex. End of review. No! That's the last thing we need. The day that happens is the day the earth just collapses. I can't. I'm sorry. Add sex.

I don't think you should apologize for that, for not wanting sex and putt-putt. You're right. I don't apologize for it. Good. What was I saying? Who was I saying earlier didn't apologize for something? Pajama Sam. Oh, yeah. I'm like Pajama Sam. We don't apologize for it. Good. What was I saying? Who was I saying earlier didn't apologize for something? Pajama Sam. Oh, yeah.

I'm like Pajama Sam. We don't apologize. I'm like Pajama Samuel. He's rubbing off on you. Yeah. I've played one night. Did I say rubbing up on you? I started to say that.

What the fuck? Professional Roblox player would love that version of Pajama Sam. Just remember, I mean, okay, I'm just so in my Pajama Sam gaming, and it's just so bizarre how innate some of this stuff is. Like, I'm playing. I have not played since I was probably, I don't know, 10, 11. And I'm like, oh, you click here for this, and I know what's going to come out of the chimney or whatever. It's like freaky.

How much is the state of my brain? Oh, yeah. Video games will do that. It's crazy. I'm like, what? And that was when we had a computer and we'd only get like an hour or two. Like nowadays, people are playing like constantly. And I'm like, what's going to stick in our.

They are losers. I know. Losers. Some people even watch other people play for hours. What? I know. That's crazy. like constantly and i'm like what's gonna stick in our they are losers i know losers some people even watch other people play for hours what i know that's crazy so the next thing i have is fatty bear's birthday surprise which i did tell you i was bringing because i didn't want you to look it up because i would have a thousand percent i know i played that on stream as well didn't we play that together we did yeah and i that was my first time in a long time playing that game. Yeah, me too. And it was, well, it's probably a good thing because it would have been alarming in our

professional course. Oh man, that was the third time of that year I played that game. But I thought always that was a fun one. Yeah. And of course, looking back, it's like, okay, you know, not the best. It's like fairly quick. It's just fairly simple. It's very basic.

I mean, it was the first in the series. Please. I mean, it's, you know. I think maybe it wasn't the first, basic. I mean, it was the first in the series. Please. I mean, it's. I think. Maybe it wasn't the first, actually. I think it wasn't the first. Essentially, this bear named Fatty Bear for some unexplainable reason. By the way, in the description of the game, they clarify that he's not fat. And I'm like, it's a weird thing.

You shouldn't have to clarify that, A. But B, why even name him that then if you have to explain it? Like, it just seems like unnecessary. But anyway, Fatty Bear, he, his owner? I don't know. His child? I don't want to get into the ethics of Fatty Bear. Her name is Michaela, and it's her birthday tomorrow.

And, okay, I'm just going to read the review because I feel like it gives you more context. So this is a review by Alexis. And I'm going to actually send you a photo, Oxenor, as part of this. So let me like get this ready to send you so it goes to you right away. Okay, I'll read the review and then send you this photo. Not recommended. Has played zero hours in the last two weeks, but 1.3 hours on record. And this is by Lexus. This is honestly pretty boring for a humongous entertainment game.

I mean, you're a bear who prepares a cake for a kid's birthday around a house. That's really it. It just takes place in a house and not a very interesting house at that. The greatest thing about this game is that you can design the cake with letters so you can write a bad word or something. Hell, I did the same thing.

Here, see. And here's the link to an image. Uh-oh, uh-oh, what did they do? And you can read it out loud for everyone. This birthday cake says, fuck you and your birthday. It's so mean. And I love that they- But they did decorate it quite nicely.

It actually looks beautiful. They put Fatty Bear in the middle. Yep. They put some like jelly beans or something around and a lot of sprinkles. Some little marshmallow, mini marshmallows. That's what that is, yeah. Yeah, that was the best part in my mind when you got to decorate the cake. You got to decorate the cake.

Yeah, because it was like so fun. But so, you know, I don't think I brought this review, but there was another review saying like, yeah, this game taught me a lot of things. Like if you wake up and your child's bedroom is fully decorated for their birthday and you didn't do it, that's totally fine. And also like you can keep a puppy in a box for 12 hours without food or water because the surprise gift is a puppy that they've just tied up in a box and left in the kitchen all night. So, you know, there's some stuff there where I'm like, yeah, okay, I can see how. When you look at a lot of these games from a real world perspective yeah it's

kind of like they're not gonna they're not gonna be yeah and like maybe nowadays that wouldn't really pass like uh quality control as far as like wait so you're saying the dog just like lives in this box for two days without any water but back then it was like well yeah we're not gonna think about it but when you consider the consider their whole thing of games, talking car that can travel through time, talking fish that can save someone from being in prison. You get Pajama Sam. A singing fish who's in prison. A singing fish who's in prison with a dog fish that barks. It's like a dog, but it's also just a fish.

And who put the dog in prison? That's not very nice. I don't know. Is a dog in prison barks. Right. It's like a dog, but it's also just a fish. And who put the dog in prison? That's not very nice. I don't know. Was a dog in prison? Maybe. Probably. So anyway, that's that. I love that they were like, this is my only redeeming aspect of this is that I got to

write a rude thing to a child. Being rude in this. Poor Kayla. Is it Kayla or Michaela? Michaela, you said. But maybe it's Kayla. Who knows? I don't remember.

I think it's Kayla. Fuck your birthday, Kayla. One more more putt putt saves the zoo this is not recommended with 0.3 hours on record man people need to play this more yeah seriously but i can see why this person didn't this is what they have to say i fucking hate this stupid purple car. End of review. Oh, no. Everybody hates this car. You are so mean. I mean, they built a whole franchise on this car. It can't be that bad. But you said he's annoying. I, like, I've never played. I thought he was pretty annoying.

I've never played. But I really like Pajama Sam and I. I can see why people might not. But I just feel like he, out of all the characters on some of these CD-ROMs, is, like, the least. Like, he just kind of, like, bops aroundops around and like does his own thing he's not like I don't know he's scared of thunder and lightning which I understand but then he's

like I guess I'll fix it if you don't know what the game's about you're probably confused he finds all the parts and those parts were in precarious places and they had feelings and they talked they were and some of them were really down oh yeah down and out that snowman that why oh the snowman and then this i remember the y piece was one we struggled with i struggled with this last night and he's wedged in the vending machine and

i have to go get i think i have to go get a tornado but i forget how to bottle up the tornado so i might you'll learn you'll. I might reach out to you later. I beat it on stream. Okay. Cause there was one. I remember one. You can just watch my stream. Oh, wait, you don't like that stuff.

I'll watch you stream. There was one point where, um, I think we always got stuck as kids on that game. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we never beat it. And then I beat it on stream and it was very, felt very rewarding. Cause we never beat it. And I remember it was our favorite game.

So we'd always try. And I'm pretty sure I played the original and the third one as well on stream. Oh, the other Pajama Sam's? Yeah, I conquered Pajama Sam. Okay. Beat that little shit into submission. I'm sorry. Stop it.

You're, that's. Talk about the game being a little shit. So this is a game that I got into a really weird headspace last night. And I. I can tell. Why? You weren't, headspace last night and I can tell why? was last night not your pajama sand night? oh yeah yeah yeah that part was pretty normal maybe not but I found a game

that I used to play so ardently that it had just kind of poofed out of my memory can I have a hint? yeah oh my gosh I'm trying to think of That I had just kind of poofed out of my memory. Can I have a hint? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm trying to think of the one that won't like totally give it away.

An Australian kangaroo. What the fuck? No. Okay. I mean, Kangaroo Jack. No. I don't know if Kangaroo Jack was originally supposed to be like rated R. It's supposed to be an adult movie. I feel like I did hear that.

And then I think when they were testing it, it kind of worked well. The test markets were like. Yeah, like this might work better as a children's movie. I'm sure Common Sense Media has a lot of thoughts on that. I know. It's probably like, I'm sure it was so raunchy and stuff and there are things in there that weren't for kids, but I loved that movie as a kid. I don't think I ever, I must have seen it. You had to have seen it. I must have. I just don't remember. It was so good.

I think it was not my type of... I was obsessed with that movie as a kid. When I first watched it, I remember it being one of the best movies I ever watched. And I haven't watched it in years. I cannot imagine that thing holds up nowadays. No.

But I would still probably enjoy it. Anyway. No. Australian kangaroo. Okay, let me give you another hint. This animal's lungs look normal. Yes. Did that do it?

Yeah, the vet game. But it was like a vet. I don't remember the kangaroo. The thing that I remember the most was like, where you have to put things on that weighed as much as an elephant or something or whatever. Alexander, yes. I remember so many parts of that game. I love that game.

I watched an entire walkthrough, three separate videos. Nice. And then I was like, this is becoming like a really bizarre feeling. That's crazy to me that you said in this episode, I think I have it. Well, I can pick it out, edit it or something. You explicitly said you don't like watching other people play video games. You watched an entire playthrough of this old veterinarian's game? To be fair, it was because I was like I was struck by this bizarre nostalgic

I want to see. That's true. The person going through it just posted it as a fun thing and all the comments were like, oh my god, I've been desperately searching for this for like years. Finally, someone has uploaded it. I guess it wasn't that popular of a game. So I don't like want to harp too much on what it was. But essentially, it was like you go and you help this like wildlife rehabilitation veterinarian.

And growing up, I always wanted to work in medicine, believe it or not. And I always thought I was going to be a doctor. I was obsessed with like any doctor episodes, the Gullah Gullah Island one I'm still trying to find. I had Winnie the Pooh books just about going to the doctor. And then I became obsessed with animal doctors. And so this, I guess one of our parents got us this and it was called I Can Be an Animal Doctor. Wow. I would never have come up with that title.

I forgot what it was called. I had to dig for it. I didn't come up with it. But it's called I Can Be an Animal Doctor. Wow. I would never have come up with that title. I forgot what it was called. I had to dig for it. I didn't come up with it. But it's called, let me see. I want to make sure I get it right. It's called, sorry, hold on. It's from 1997. And it's called Learning Adventures.

I Can Be an Animal Doctor. And Alexander. I bet if I looked at Learning Adventures games, there's some some i'd recognize are they the ones that also did like well i remember so there's of course oregon trail but amazon trail oh yeah was one of my favorite games where you're in the amazon or on the amazon river in the amazon and you're like meeting locals and like collecting berries and stuff. I was obsessed with that game. But the thing that I remember struck me the most about this game was the actual veterinary part. The fact that, sorry, what you just said to me, it's a pig, a very sad pig, sitting at a dining table, like in a diner kind of thing,

with what I assume is a dog or a wolf behind the counter. Yeah, that's Roscoe. The grill master, I assume, with a spatula. And you have three options for what to give this very sad pig to eat. Green vegetables, gummy bears, or a hamburger. And guess what the guy gave when they were doing this stream gummy bears that's amazing yeah and like to be fair it was so funny because he was doing all of them right or that i don't know their pronouns they were doing all of them right and then like i was like oh please do one wrong just to see what happens and they did know what people want to see the gummy bears And the pig puked.

And I was like. Puke. I forgot that's a thing. Yes. You made them puke. And then I was like, oh, I don't want to do that anymore. So I never made them puke again. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

I'm like, I'm willing to kill my Sims in a drowning pool, but I'm not going to hurt this animal by feeding it gummy bears. So the part that got me the most was like when you brought a sick animal in. And it's like, oh, you've brought an animal in for examination. Like it's all unlocked in my brain. Yeah. And she goes like, focus. And you have to focus to see their cells if they have too many white blood cells. Oh, yeah.

And like check their organs, check their skin. Find bacteria or some shit. Find bacteria. Do an x-ray to see broken bones. True. It was. It was pretty in-depth like there's a lot of fun stuff in there and i just looked it up and so that learning adventures had two games total only i can be a dinosaur finder and i can be an animal doctor you know some people raved about

the dinosaur one i never played that one me neither but we should get it also the only photo i could find of the actual disc is a cracked as shit disc from Amazon. That's hilarious. Yep. There it is, though. And I'm like, it's never going to play. I can be an Animal Doctor 1 1997 Best of Show Software in the Family PC Awards or something like that. Can I tell you, I watched that walkthrough and I was like, this is a really well done game. I think so. The games and the trivia, it was all, like, really involved but not dry. And it was also not boring.

Like, it was funny and goofy. I just will never get over how much I love that CD-ROM. And the reason, in case anyone's wondering why I became a podcaster and not a veterinarian, is because my beautiful mother one time said, oh, you want to become a veterinarian? Why don't you watch our cat get a bunch of shots? And I have a needle phobia. And so my mom's like, here, watch this.

And I, to this day, like I'm so traumatized by that. She's like, yeah, I thought that wasn't going to work out. And I'm like, cool mom,

I'm just watching my dreams. It's fine. But you know what? It's probably for the best. Cause now I get to talk to you beautiful people about my dead dreams so here's what they wanted yeah so basically i couldn't find any real reviews of it so i went and watched the youtube video and then found comments of people like reliving their memory so you know their their own kind of commentary reviews um here is one comment by genesis this game was nostalgic

for me but i played it as like a seven-year-old so it also kind of freaked me out with all the x-rays and animal vomiting and i was gonna originally read that before i explained the animal vomiting yeah when you feed them gummy bears the vomit is very i remember it very clearly like wretch and then like puke yeah it comes right out and then they just leave um and so this you're gonna like because i can't believe you remembered this the old man sound from the weight game is really funny there's like an old man and when you drop him he goes like because you're trying to like you said match so funny like a what do you call that? A scale. A scale, yeah.

It's so good. The old man sound from the weight game is really funny. The restaurant game was my favorite, and the paint game unlocked old memories of turning the animals into skeletons and then painting some of their flesh back on to make them into zombies, complete with some red to look like blood.

I was a strange little child, LOL. Hey, that was the best, though. Games back then that just let you do weird shit where you could just fuck around and that's a true of um i think it was putt-putt when i was playing and people were talking about this there's a lot of like customization stuff and time where you eat and so you could just spend like hours just like drawing and like doing little things that yeah and same with the tonka game um i remember there being ways to like customize your truck and and um maybe like creating a new type of vehicle or something there are all these like ways of man they must have thought about all of this stuff and it just worked so well because now i remember it so fondly and you know nowadays uh

you know back in my day you could write fuck your birthday kayla on a cake i bet nowadays they block they put a bunch of hearts there instead so true the society's become so pc now it's like this woke culture won't let me swear at a small child and ruin her birthday and that's what really what the problem is yeah that's the bottom of it amen all those participation trophies it's too bad. Yeah, that's the bottom of it. Amen. All those participation trophies. It's too bad. Yeah. Ridiculous.

Anyway, should I go? Yes, please. I'm going to read a Spy Fox review. Okay. This is Spy Fox in dry cereal. So it says Spy Fox in colon dry cereal. So the game is dry cereal, but it's a spice box game. And spy Fox is like a James Bond,

like satire. Okay. So I don't know if that makes any sense. What do you mean the game is dry cereal? The whole game title is spy Fox in dry cereal. It's like a story like spy Fox is in this. And the game is called dry cereal. Like the other spy Fox game is Spy Fox in colon something else.

Like Muesli? No, it's just, that's the name of this game. I don't know. Like Thunder and Lightning aren't so frightening. Yeah, but is he like in a box of cereal? I have no fucking clue. I never played this game. I thought maybe I was going to understand.

But this was the most popular. Like this one, when I was reading reviews of the other Spy Fox games, people were saying that it doesn't, they were complaining it doesn't compare to the dry cereal game okay that's just a name i guess i just was confused like maybe if it was in a box of dry cereal i mean maybe it was as well okay got you but that's not i got you yeah are you sure i understand i get i mean i get you i think as far as as you want me to get you. That's what matters. Good. Well, here's a review.

This is, so I'm not going to read how much time they have in this game. Okay. But they said not recommended. I will after. They said not recommended. And it said this. F this game. Only my kids like it.

And I bought it for me. End of review. Guess how many hours on record? How many? 86. No! So the kids clearly love it. Like, I love how it tells a story.

Yes. Like, that's why I thought it's so funny that this person not only is so mad, that like... Does it say how long ago that they downloaded this or wrote this review? The review was June of 2021. They haven't played in the last two weeks. So they wanted it as a nostalgic thing. Presumably, yes. They bought it for themselves.

But that's amazing that their kid likes the same game. I know. I love how they're like, this game sucks, but my kids like it. They're like, I was the oldest sibling and I got to play. Now my kids want to play and I have to watch. It's not fair. That's true. If Leona starts playing video games, I'm going to be like, get your own computer.

Yeah, right? Hell no. This is mine. OutSender, wow. Just teach her very early on to just watch video games instead. I don't think that's really the vibe I'm going for raising a daughter. That's what I would do. Why don't you just sit passively and let other people play games while you watch?

Yeah, that's what I think we should. You think that's a good parenting technique? Yeah. In this scenario so that I don't ever have to watch people play games while you watch. Yeah, that's what I think we should. You think that's a good parenting technique? Yeah. In this scenario so that I don't ever have to watch her play games. Yeah, and I will say I'm not going to do the opposite, which is what I did, which is like don't let anyone else have a turn. You're the oldest. There's a good middle ground.

I would hope there's a good middle ground. I guess nowadays everyone has their own fucking devices. So it's not like you even have to share woke culture. Don't get me started. Anyway, that's actually all I have. That's fine. I think I read all my Barbies in a row. So I got a little excited.

You did read a lot of Barbies in a row. I got a little excited. That's okay. I've got a couple more. There we go. I've got two more this next one is of uh spy fox in dry cereal it is very confusing now that i'm reading it more i'm like yeah i get it i'm glad you understand where i was like but like visually it's like spy fox and then little in colon and then in parenthesis or in uh quotations dry cereal like it the way it's presented it, okay, clearly they're saying that this is a name with a story that Spy Fox is in. But I get it when I'm reading it aloud.

It's like, yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Anyway, here's someone who recommends the game with 1.9 hours on record. My son beat this game in less than two hours, and he is 27 years old. I don't have a son. It was me and he is 27 years old. I don't have a son. It was me. I'm 27 years old.

End of review. I love that. I love when people by the end of the review are like, I can't. I can't. My guilt. My conscience won't let me post this without some explanation. Oh, man. Oh, that's good.

That's how it felt for me. When I bought it, probably as a 27 year old the entire humongous child entertainment bundle i spent a lot of money on that did you yeah it's awesome how much was it may i ask man i i'll tell you because i have to look it up but did you buy it for for switch yeah i wrote it off on my taxes i think that's why no not for switch for steam oh i don't think i wrote that one because i think on the switch i'm like really enjoying playing it because it's like i can watch tv and play kind of like a mindless like you know yeah game without feeling too overwhelmed by like something new okay i spent 50 bucks which is the price of a brand new like game

like a current like top title. Sure. But with that. How many games were in it? I haven't played even half of them. Really? There are so many games in that bundle. It's like, it has like all the Pajama Sams, all the Freddy Fish, all the, including like the side.

There are some like smaller like side game, bonus kind of games. All the Spy Fox, all the Putt Putt. I don't think Fat bear is human was fatty bear not humongous oh he was so fatty bear might have been in there too are there any other fatty bear games or was that a one and done i don't know i was kind of saying earlier there were but now i don't know for sure um fatty bear's birthday surprise was in there um there's like spy fox 3 operation ozone so that one doesn't even have in but the other one i think i like how spy fox 3 he's like i'm gonna fix the ozone and return and reverse

climate change how'd that go and then this time i'm going to just hang out in some cereal it's like man see this is why i'm confused there's just a game called let's enjoy the jungle oh dear moon base commander big thinkers kindergarten i've got games for leona when she grows up oh yeah like Let's Enjoy the Jungle. Oh, dear. Moonbase Commander. Big Thinker's Kindergarten. I've got games for Leona when she grows up. Oh, yeah. Like, there's some educational. Big Thinker's First Grade. Can I throw something out there?

Yeah. What are your thoughts on this? What if, when she's old enough to do, to consent to this and to be, you know, I'm not going to. Okay, I'm very nervous with where this is going'm very nervous no no i just mean i know i know there's a lot of like uh you're walking on eggshells here for these listeners well there's just a lot of loaded stuff around like kids doing content and oh yeah you know yeah and so i don't ever want to force her obviously to do anything but like what are your thoughts of like, what if she streamed like doing Fatty Bear for the first time? Like a Gen Alpha kid, obviously years down the line, but like Gen Alpha with probably like the wildest new whatever's going to be in 15 years.

Yeah, that would be funny to watch for me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like doing a Fatty Bear. Yeah. I mean, that probably already- I know what you're saying though, because there are some very exploitative content out there where people explain their children. And I know you're not coming from that angle.

No, no. But even when she's a teenager, like, it could be. Yeah, I think that would be funny. It could be funny to be like, oh, everyone's playing these, like, VR hoverboards. Whatever the fuck. There she is playing Fatty Bear and hopefully ripping it a new one because, like, this is terrible nowadays. Or, like, I don't know, making a cake. The problem is she'd just anger all these like Gen X

and millennials who are just like, what the fuck? I don't know. Yeah, so I wonder. I wonder. I wonder. If it would be like a fun thing or just like, she'd be like, what is this? Watch who's going to be a content creator one day

and this clip is going to, this is part of it. That's what I'm saying. This is the beginning. I'm laying the foundation. Laying the foundation. Giving her like future content, you know, like, oh, look, my mom said this about me. You're freaking welcome, by the way. But yeah, I'm like trying to find another review.

Okay. That I had. Do you have any more? Yeah, I have one more. Okay, great. Can you read that while I find if I have this? This is a review of Pajama Sam 2 Thunder and Lightning. This, one of my all-time favorites.

All-time. This person has 2.9 hours on record and has this to say. They recommend it, so it's a positive. Oh, okay, good, good. I was about to get really offended. I'm ending with a positive here. If you've ever played the originals, play them again, and you will cry tears of joy.

Pajama Sam is at it again. Getting high as shit and talking to clouds. Game of my life right here. 10 out of 10. Would play again. Nominated for Test of Time Steam Award. End of review. Okay.

Yeah, so. It does feel a little bit like he's stony baloney. He's like talking to a thunder cloud. Kind of. And I remember, and he's so chill. That's, yeah. And the cloud and the lightning bolt, the lightning bolt especially are so high strung and all like not chill. Oh my God, take it.

And just the energy is just so bad. But Jamlet Sam, you're right. He's just like a chill dude. That's what I love about it. It's like I felt like I could go into his persona and experience this without the chaos that was going on around him. Yeah. So here's a review that I found. It's a redemption.

This is the one I was looking for. Of Hot Wheels Stunt Track Driver. I also played that within the past few years. We loved. Yeah. I found a sketchy website. I didn't find it on Steam. Maybe it's on there now.

I think I played it too. But I definitely found it online. There's like an archive site that you can download. I loved that game. I did too. We played that equally, I think, a lot. That and Pajama Sam were two agreed of both of our favorites um and and you're right you know how you mentioned you just hop in a game you just remember certain

things yeah i bet we'd hop into that and just know the way the track goes yeah and i'd be like oh this is where if you get a flip like you get an extra whatever you can like this is where the cat's paw comes down you gotta avoid it oh my gosh actually i think that one you hit the cat's paw and tumble into into the finish line or something. There are all these weird little things. Oh, it was such a fun game. And the sand castles. But this one has like all positive reviews.

Good. Which is great. So this is a review from a year ago by Panda Funky. And it's five stars. It says, My childhood in a nutshell. If only my mother hadn't hidden it on me and then lost it as a result. Just like my goblin pinball game.

Frown face. That's sad. That is so sad. Why is she hiding it from you? Okay, you know what? I lost one of my favorite games of all time. Driver 3. Uh-oh.

And our mother did have a habit of hiding things to punish me as in she did it like once uh she hid halo 2 when i was in high school like freshman year i don't know how old i was but i was a total brat and i was obsessed with fucking halo 2 um and she hid it from me i know where she hid it under the fish tank uh so i found it but i didn't still didn't play it because whatever i was a i was a good boy i swear um but this driver 3 game never found it i i prayed to who's it saint anthony or something the guy that fine helps you find shit yep i prayed like i was praying to find this game. That's how desperate I was. My, my, what is this game? And it was like, it's like Grand Theft Auto.

It's like shooting. Oh, yeah. It's like, I love more, not even just saying this, I just prefer driving around. I wasn't much of a, into the whole, like, violence aspect. But I played the game, so I definitely shot people. So, St. Anthony, please. So, anyway. So, I was praying to try to find this, like, violent video game.

And, like, I don't... It sounds like... I don't know if she hid it, but it disappeared. It absolutely vanished. And I remember crying and praying about it. So, she hid it for sure. Right? I think so.

That would make so much sense. I mean, she once hid my Game Boy Color, but she didn't. Before or after throwing it out the window? Well, that was one and the same is what I was going to say. She threw it out the window into a bush. No, Christina, she threw our Game Boys out the window and they hit the stone pathway. There's like these stones like on the side of our house and it like basically exploded yeah i mean for it to you're right the thing i was thinking of is when she threw my pre-algebra

textbook out that same window and that one didn't unfortunately didn't receive as much damage i was gonna say i wish that one had really hit a little harder uh but the game boy she's like okay goes right out the fucking window um so have you checked in the bushes? At our old house? I should go out there. I'm sorry. I'm looking for a video game from when I was 12. Can I check?

Yeah. I think it's gone. I mean, it's been gone. Yeah. If you ever find it, maybe my Winnie the Pooh is there too because I'm still not. Mom definitely denied that one. No, I don't think she would have torn up about that one being gone oh yeah i think what happened with that is i like

lost it somewhere i know it's hard to believe that i would have lost an item an item of mine somewhere in the world and that's very different than a video game that stays where the video game is played yeah yeah like we moved oh yeah it was like he came to all my sleep over so i'm sure i just left him somewhere but um you know maybe, you know, maybe he's out there somewhere. Oh, well. If you guys find him. Yeah, let us know. Let me know.

That's it, right, for the theme? Okay, but it was. But I think as you were reading yours, I was like. You found more? No, no, no. I didn't find more. But I was like, there was one that I think I accidentally must have put under. Sorry.

Oh, my gosh. Okay. I must have skipped. I accidentally put the I can be an animal doctor because those were redemptions. Oh. I put that. So you skipped something. I skipped a Fatty Bear birthday surprise redemption.

Oh, it's a redemption too. It is. Yeah. That's nice. So I lumped them all together. I apologize. So this is a recommended review of Fatty Bear's Birthday Surprise. One hour on record.

And this is what it says. This game reminds me of my father. He and I did something like this when I was just like Kayla. Young and curious. This adventure is remarkable and I will never forget it. This will be a memory forever. This adventure is remarkable, and I will never forget it. This will be a memory forever.

When slash if I get a kid in the future, I am going to make a birthday like this for them. Hopefully they will be as happy as Kayla. The feeling when she got so happy made me cry. Such a lovely family. Without the help from Fatty Bear, this epic story would not have been anything. He's a hero, and he will always be a hero to me. I'm so sorry for laughing. What's happening?

I'm worried about him. What a nerd. I'm worried. No, no. It is very sweet. I feel that. But, like, what happened that your dad did this for you? Did what for you? Fatty Bear did it for you?

So, yeah, that's the thing is, I think, so fatty bear is positive, but the parents in the game, I don't know. They're not involved. They're not really involved and they didn't make any of this stuff. They're like side characters. So I think this person reviewing is saying that their dad was like fatty bear, so actually did do the work. Oh, that's an alarming comparison though.

Why? To be like, my dad was just like fatty bear. I mean, oh, don't worry. They explained it. Fatty Bear is not fat. If that's what you're worried about. Oh, he's very health conscious. Yes.

As in the 90s, they wanted to make sure. As they would say back then. I see. Yeah. I was like. No, there was literally a line in part of it being like, he's very active and health conscious. And I was like, what a weird thing to say about. What a weird thing to say.

And a teddy. I don't know. A animated teddy bear. Like, was that to get around like certain like parents organizations. Right? Some judgmental bullshit. Yeah, I don't know. I don't understand that.

It was like rated PG for. They're like, and then the rating organization was like, fatty, we can't have that word in here. There's so many sprinkles on these cakes. Have you seen a food pyramid lately? Oh my gosh. Have you seen the cottage cheese diet? What are they thinking? I just like didn't understand.

He did. He and I did something like this when I was just like Kayla. Like, okay. In the game, you're what? You're a bear sneaking around the house. Like Kayla's in bed asleep. While Kayla sleeps. She's not part of it until she wakes up. But the bear also-

Maybe this person's like, oh, my dad pretended to be Santa Claus when I was asleep. Maybe. Which is good for you, I guess. There was a bunny that flies around with her ears, like a helicopter, who helps out. And I'm like, is that the dad? Like, are you two helps out and i'm like is that the dad like are you two the bear and the dad i thought the dad is the bear yeah you're right because they're kayla maybe this is the they're kayla i also like when they say when i get when i get a kid in the picture which makes me think this is a child writing this i hope they'll be as happy as kayla

oh that's so sweet i know it is very sweet. I would recommend not putting a dog in a box without any ear holes. Oh, that was her first plan. That was the first thing that they were going to do. They're like, no, that's the part we did together. Yeah, what do you mean? My dad loved putting our dog in a box for hours at a time. That's why he's just like Fatty Bear. That's why.

Oh, man. One and the same. Before we move on to the challenge. Yeah. If we're ready for that. Yeah. I want to say we're recording our Patreon bonus for April today. Yes.

And if you like these kind of Steam reviews, I brought all Steam reviews for this next one. The topic is spring cleaning. Spring cleaning. There are cleaning related video games out there. Okay, fine. If Sandy's going to do that, I brought... What do you mean? You already... Okay, whatever you were bringing, you already have prepared.

So don't act like this is in retaliation to me. In retaliation to Alexander's rude actions, I brought reviews from QVC and Common Sense Media. See? Like, what? But yeah, there's some really good ones i think that i found though the patreon bonus is gonna be a doozy there's like a power washing um simulator oh lord oh god yeah that sounds terrible yeah um it's not here it has great reviews overall

we'll find out i guess uh so yeah if you want to check that out, patreon.com slash beach to Sandy. Otherwise, I think we'll move on to the challenge. I'm ready. So this was from Michelle Sheher, who, by the way, wrote in with some examples and said this release is on her birthday. Oh, happy birthday, Michelle. Happy birthday. Well, she said she thinks. And since we're so many weeks ahead. I didn't say I don't think I said which one's coming out when.

So happy birthday, Michelle. I didn't say, I don't think I said which one's coming out when. So happy birthday, Michelle, whenever this falls. Happy early or late or right smack dab on birthday. So the challenge suggestion from Michelle was to find reviews where people say, as a parent, in a negative review. I got to say, I got it mixed up with another suggestion. I saw another suggestion that was really good too. What was it?

It was to find reviews where people say, if I were a parent. If I were a parent, yes, which is also hilarious. I kind of want to do that like next or like soon because I just feel like that is also such a fun concept that people who don't have kids decide that if they did, they would be upset about something in hypothetical sense. I love the hypotheticals in Yelp reviews and stuff. Yeah, when they have to admit they're not actually qualified to review. So once I figured that out, it was a lot easier. But Michelle says, people who say as a parent, and I'm going to read one here.

This is of a place called Kidzania USA, which is- A nightmare. Which is probably our nightmare. A children's amusement center. And I just wanted to read, this is almost as fun as a review, a description, the overview on Google of what this location is and offers.

It's a pretend city where kids can role play professions from firefighter to podcaster in various settings. It does not say podcaster. Literally, that is the one line, the log line description of this place. Okay. In what area, same area that these kids are playing, can one kid pretend to be a firefighter and the other pretend to be a podcaster and it makes sense? Hi, I'm a podcaster on the scene of a blazing fire. You got me. I stand down.

I stand down. I don't know. I didn't know there were blazing fires here. Sorry. Yeah. If I had known that, I wouldn't have even said anything. Oh, the building's on fire. I didn't say that? No. Oh, okay. Not yet. I assume that's in the review. Unfortunately not. Oh, they didn't care about that. That part wasn't relevant to their experience. This is a three-star view by Ash. Weekends are terrible. My four-year-old got to do three things, and it took three hours. The fact that you have to pay for an adult ticket as a parent is stupid.

Adults are not able to do anything in there, so it's paying to be so miserable in line and catching glimpses of your child having fun. I don't mind not doing anything, but I do not like paying for not doing anything. Make parents free. End of review. So the parents just show up and watch is what they're saying? Or they're in line for something? I do not understand this place. I think it's sort of like you get to watch as your kid interacts and does things.

Which, to be fair, i feel like there's something to be said for that's an experience for you too you know to like i just went to the children's museum in miami with dad and uh and my baby not just me and my dad um and she was like doing all these fun things and we paid for all our tickets because it was yeah me blaze and dad so i don't think it's fair things for you to do no and read and look at well yeah like mostly just like she's interacting and we're like getting to like play or like help her no i make art and and honestly imagine if it was free then you could bring like the entire family of adults i assume they do like one free could could do like a one you're adult and one adult per child, like free, but

why not just make them pay? I don't know. Why not? I feel like if you're involved in taking photos and like, I don't know. I don't think it's egregious not to make them pay. I don't find it weird that like you have to pay an adult fare. I do understand that like if you don't get to do anything, it feels kind of annoying, but I mean, you know, it's a children's museum.

It's not for you. Yeah. And I don't get to do anything it feels kind of annoying but i mean you know it's a children's museum like it's not for you yeah and i i don't know and um as someone who doesn't have a kid you get to watch your child uh thrive for having a kid that's what i get it's your punishment you have to pay for yourself at events or at places here's the thing i love a children's museum yeah because i don't really do jack shit. I just get to like color. Yeah. Play. I don't have to like read a bunch of plaques.

It's the best. And you get to, I know they have sometimes like wind tunnel things that you play with. I love the wind related things. They had that in Miami. Yeah. That's cool. Delight. So here's where I add that.

Sorry. I just remembered it. O omsi in portland the museum um it wasn't it's not just children's but there's like a section that's like kind of more geared towards kids i think that we went into um not with a child of course uh and uh it was d me It was D, me, and Opie. And they had a freaking like simulated earthquake section. Oh, no. So it was like me, a bunch of kids. Like not a bunch. It was maybe a couple of kids and like a parent.

And we were just standing on this thing. And the kid was like controlling how severe the earthquake was. And they like put it all the way up. And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Anyway. It sounds terrifying. It's fun. I love that shit. You're right. love that as someone again who lives in like deep-seated fear of the big one i don't know if i'd want to participate in that it's a fun one but it also like they taught you about how tectonic plates how they make buildings structurally sound or something i don't know

there's more about it that wasn't didn't make it just like terrifying i don't know. There's more about it that wasn't, didn't make it just like terrifying. I don't know. Maybe at least for the kids. I was going to say, I think that part would stick with me though. Yeah. The shaking around. So I want to add to that. Natalie on under a comment, uh, because Michelle posted this on Patreon, Natalie commented, love this.

I also vote that they expand this prompt to as a dog or cat mom. And you better believe I immediately did that. Good. So here's a review of Shelter Island Veterinary Hospital. It is a one star review by B. I do not recommend this vet. I came here because I saw on a Facebook post to support local places and I'm newer here and I love to help local businesses. I called this vet because my cat

was having allergies, most likely pollen. I knew it was an allergy because he has had it in the past, but it's not an every year thing. I knew he needed a steroid shot, but he hadn't been to any other vets in San Diego. I called this place up and they were able to provide service relatively fast, which was awesome. One star. From there, it was a day of service. They didn't provide any details, so I get there and I read on the door that only car service was being provided. Honestly, a call or text would have been nice. Then I fill out the paperwork and someone comes and takes my cat. It is devastating not being able to be with your baby, but I understand most vet offices are like that now. I am a cat owner for six years now, personally, but I was raised with cats and grew up with four domestic cats

who lived to be 17, 20, 22, and 24 years old. These babies are not only my pets, but they were my siblings and part of my family. So this is not my first rodeo. But this is my first rodeo with this vet and these new protocols. They take my cat in and the vet calls me and tells me, 1. He is chubby. 2. He has a rash.

Duh. 3. I need to do a senior panel on him. 4. He needs a tooth extracted because it is broken. 1. He is a cat, and most cats are chubby. 2. I'm here because my cat has a rash. 3. Okay, fine, do this panel. 4. My cat's tooth has been broken for five years and he has seen three other vets about it and none of them told me it needed to be extracted ASAP. I make the appointment for the extraction to get the estimate, approximately $900, and call my vet friends from other states.

They're people that know my cat and they all said that is 100% not necessary. states. They're people that know my cat and they all said that is 100% not necessary. Why put an animal under stress when they're healthy and not showing any pain or discomfort? So I cancel the surgery. I got a call a few days later from the vet saying he is healthy, which I pretty much knew and I don't need $200 worth of tests to tell me that. Then the vet questions me about his tooth and I told her, no, I don't think I'm going to go through with it. And her response was, about his tooth. And I told her, no, I don't think I'm going to go through with it.

And her response was, how is your tooth? How would you feel if your tooth is broken? Well, my tooth is broken. Got him. Uh-oh. I can't, I can't. What are you going to say now, vet tech? I read that and was like, that can't be.

That can't be. Well, my tooth is broken and it feels fine. How about this? Well, my tooth is broken and it feels fine. Also, you told me my cat was chubby, so obviously he has no issues eating. I know my cats and I know when they aren't feeling well, and having someone question me as a cat mom is highly insulting. I will never be going back to this veterinarian again.

She will never be getting another dime from me. FYI, I also have a degree in animal science and wildlife and fisheries, but what this vet needs is a class in communication and mannerism. I will support another local vet for my other pets. When people take what professionals say about their pets, like personally, blows my mind.

Yeah. It makes me think like, what, what, what's the deal? Your, your cat is chubby. I'm sure your cat is chubby.

Like what? Yeah. Okay. Maybe they, many cats are chubby, but like, I don't know. All they want is.

It's not like a character flaw. Like nobody's saying like, there's something wrong with you and your cat. In fact, they brought it up at the end like, well, you said my cat was chubby, so you're not getting another. So what's your freaking. That's part of why I'm not getting it. You're not getting it done for me.

I didn't take it so personally. And it's like, you know, they have to probably say that if your cat's over a certain weight. I don't necessarily agree that everything. I have no idea how cat weight works. I don't either. But also, yeah, broken tooth. That sounds like not fun for the cat. But what do I know? necessarily agree that everything i have no idea how cat weight works i don't either um but also yeah broken tooth that sounds like not fun for the cat but what do i know i feel like it sounds like something to bring up if you're the vet you don't know how many times this has been addressed

or if the owner even knows about it yeah and they made their recommendation you chose not to follow it so why are you freaking out like you don't have to they're not forcing they didn't like pull the tooth and say oh now you owe us they're saying we'll do this and you said no okay they'll probably move on with their lives and meanwhile you're doing this um but when they said one star in the middle was that saying like what was that oh so i think what they're counting up stars yeah i think they said like that pisses me i know they're like here's and i'm like because you can't vote anything but one star one is the lowest yeah one is the lowest saying like oh they earned one star so far like that's it yeah that's kind of what they're saying right like every it's as if every business starts with zero and then

they have to earn the stars ding ding they've earned one um which they probably prefer to earn zero because then you can't leave a review at all. Yeah. You know? Yeah, true. True, true, true. Yeah. But I think it should be default is five stars. Yeah. And then you take off from there. Like, I think most normal human beings would do for a rating system. Like, oh, I go into it with a positive outlook.

And then if things go wrong, you can subtract. Or even starting at maybe a three just to be like, hey, an average middle of the road kind of thing. Totally. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late,

do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla.

They can feel it. Fight together. It's human up. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. It's human up. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong. The new empire. Now playing only in theaters. I just scroll down and I'm like, oh my god, I forgot I did this.

This is a review of Blippi. Do you know what? What's Blippi? It sounds familiar. Oh no. Is is a review of Blippi. Do you know what? What's Blippi? It sounds familiar. Oh, no. Is that a kid's? Yeah. Like a YouTube thing?

What is that? Yeah. It's rough. Why? Because it's just like, here, don't look it up. I'm sending you something. Okay. I'm sending you the Google image search for Blippi because I wanted specifically this

Google image search for you to scroll down. Just in case you need any insight, just scroll down and look at some of the pictures. Christina. What? I just saw an article about this guy today. Okay, great. We're going to get- You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, we're going to touch on that. I read that headline and I thought, nope, I'm okay. I don't need to click on that. I read that headline and went, Blaze, guess what? Okay. Because Leona is more in that, you know, it was more relevant. But yeah, so I'm glad you know where I'm going. I'm glad you know where I'm going, but Blippi, he is this really over-the-top character who, he's a real guy.

It's not, like, animated. And he goes to, like, children's museums and playgrounds, and he does these, like, over-the-top, like, shrieks and whatever. And he basically acts like a toddler, and that's kind of the appeal is that kids watch it and feel like super jazzed. And as an adult watching it, I'm like, oh, no, no, make it stop. But she really likes it. Well, she doesn't really like it. But every now and then she'll watch it for a minute. But it's just rough because it's a lot it's a lot so here's a one-star review and he's like a full-grown man so it's like alarming to see him like wearing like bright orange suspenders and like kind of jumping and giggling and it's just an odd thing to watch um no shade to people who enjoy the show this is a one-star review by Rebecca, who is an adult and says this should be 18 plus. So Rebecca says, I hate Blippi. Blippi is the worst thing I've ever seen as a parent. He advertises himself as educational, but nothing about his show is education. He also encourages lots of bad behavior,

like making messes and age-inappropriate activities. Not only is his show not worth your time, but there's also something very off about this man. He doesn't interact well with children, he is by no means a specialist in childhood education or development, and he is overall very creepy. Blippi is also annoying to no end. End of review.

And, okay, maybe I'm biased because I read that, or saw that article title that I'm not going to say yet. I assume you will. But I like to think, yeah, parents can get vibes from, because like, I don't know, Miss Rachel, like I've watched Miss Rachel and I'm like, oh, this is like, you know what? That's wholesome. It's all good. Like, you know, that's a great point.

I watch Miss Rachel. That's exactly right. I watch Miss Rachel and I'm like, this is pretty annoying, but also like, I see the benefit of it. And I see why my daughter likes it. And I'm like, you know what? I'm impressed that she's able to do this and she's doing a great thing and blah, blah, blah. So just to give you an idea of like why this has been going,

making the rounds on the news, if you haven't heard and you do have a young child or you recognize Blippi, here's a news article from, let's see, I'll read the one from BuzzFeed News. Kids YouTube star Blippi, quote, regrets the viral video in which he poops all over his friend. Before he was Blippi, this is like the subheadline. Okay, that is all I knew.

Was that headline exactly? Subheadline says, before he was Blippi, a Mr. Rogers for the YouTube age, he was Steezy Grossman and he pooped on his friend. age he was steezy grossman and he pooped on his friend and so you know for to his credit it was all like it was basically gross out comedy videos he did yeah like that was his his shtick was like he did gross out comedy video comedy videos with his friends and they were like somebody called called him i think it was oh itFeed. The result is a uniquely millennial hybrid of Mr. Rogers and Jake Paul. Just like these, some of these out, where he just gross out videos where he's like pulling his pants down and like harassing people and like literally pooping on video. And then it becomes this like overgrown toddler teaching your kids. And you know what? Maybe Blippi legitimately was like, you know what?

I don't like doing this kind of content anymore. I want to do something more wholesome and more for kids. And maybe it's been, it seems a rough transition if people are getting very uncomfortable vibes. But I don't know, like, you know, a content creator can change the kind of content and not necessarily, it's not necessarily sinister. Yes, exactly.

And so it's just like a very jarring thing to read when your child is watching him regularly. I was cracking up. By the way, the video is called Harlem Shake Poop. Like, it's ridiculous. That's the kind of shit that, I don't know, that sounds like a YouTube thing. You know, I don't know. There's a youtube thing you know i don't know there's so many other youtubers doing shit like that but yeah once you start trying to make content for kids people are gonna look at your past and you know pretty pretty jarring um and i gotta say like as long as the

content now isn't like i mean you did mention age. I don't know what that means specifically. I don't either, to be honest. But yeah, he had this whole kind of persona before his big orange bow tie and big glasses. I mean, it's like, what's his name? Joji? Is that the singer-songwriter who has taken off as a singer-songwriter, but originally was Filthy Frank. Oh, my God. And was absolutely raunchy, really inappropriate YouTube videos and all sorts of just absolute nonsense, but is now has evolved.

Yeah. And I guess matured. I don't know. It's hard with the internet. You can't really just move to a new town and pretend like. This person, Joji, like now did. It's super successful. Yeah. And like, I guess it helps that it wasn't like,

I don't think any of the content was like any sort of harassment because there's so much YouTube harassment, like prank bullshit. It was just like really lewd and really i mean kind of weird and uncomfortable type of humor but it was for on his channel filthy frank is the embodiment of everything a person should not be he is anti-pc anti-social and anti-couth he behaves and reacts excessively um yeah i don't know i mean you've like that was really big in the Vine days. I'm sure you've seen Vines that have filthy Frank. Yeah, that sounds.

It's like that kind of shit. I recognize him. I'm sure there were a lot of things, you know, like the R word and stuff that were very commonly used. Exactly, like that kind of shit. And then now, like I'm just looking at his Wikipedia page, known now professionally as

Joji, formerly known for playing characters like Filthy Frank and Pink Guy. And it says, is a Japanese singer, songwriter, rapper, former comedian, and YouTuber. So, like, I think he's really tried to put that behind him. And I think he has. And it's to be fair. I love everything I've listened to him. I'm like, listened to of his. I'm like, this is great. Sometimes I have this like crisis moment where I think, did I ever poop on my friend?

Like, I'm so worried something's going to. I'm like, no, obviously I didn't. But like, what did I do? Like, what came out? I don't know. So anyway, that's just to give you an idea of who Blippi is. That's so funny. So as a parent, I'm not surprised I found that review.

But now I have a review of the episode Choose Your Story. Do you know about this game episode? Is that the one that advertises all the fucking time? And you have to pick, do you want to wear a short dress to flirt with this guy? You know, it's just kind of like basic. I don't think I went that route. I went covered the ankles route. You were like, I'd rather wear a muumuu.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's why you were the first person in history to lose that game. It was like you actually chose no adventures. You just stayed home. It was pretty sad. Yeah. But this is a one-star review by Mom78, an adult.

And they believe this is for ages 18 plus. One star. The title is Horrifying and Cartoon Soft Porn. Please do not let your children get this. It starts off harmless and then progressively gets wildly inappropriate. Also, my child racked up $40 in purchases accidentally without the app notifying me. It's deceiving and gross. No need for 13 to 18-year-olds to create sex scenes.

For what purpose? To encourage them to reenact this in real life? No thank you. I have enough to worry about as a parent. I also am disgusted that there are adults reviewing this app positively and encouraging children to use it in any way. Quote, I'm 32 and even I use it. The lack of discretion scares me and reminds me why I have to closely monitor these things in the first place. Thank you for providing this website.

This title contains too much violence, too much drinking, drug smoking, too much consumerism, and sexy stuff. End of review. I believe it. I've seen those ads. They get a little wild. They get some. They have some ads that I'm like, yikes. This is in this game?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It feels like still a wild west of media are those weird apps and those weird games especially we've read reviews where the apps the ads on these apps for children will be super inappropriate oh bad super inappropriate like there's no guideline there's no um what do you call it filter even if there is they don't follow it or something i don't know where it gets through filters yeah there's no built-in filter. It just kind of gets past.

And I mean, it's disturbing that, of course, I started reading some articles and it was talking about YouTube and how just the crackdown there's had to be on like some of the most disturbing stuff that's targeted toward children. That's like kind of deeper into the annals of youtube not to be too cynical but when you consider how many views all those children's like the ones geared towards children they get so many views because kids are either watching it over and over again or because it's all in the same little like uh related theme and so that just goes to the next goes to the next um i'm sure lots of people are trying to take advantage of that to get as much money as possible and a lot of unsavory characters are doing that um there's some very scary stuff i was like looking through the article and they had screen grabs of things and i was like like someone needs to do something about this i'm sorry

this video has 10.2 million views like yeah and there's so many people who exploit their children and like provide like Patreon pages where what I will say is I think their main clientele are older men will go and be able to pay for Patreon to get exclusive pictures of their children. Like so-and-so at the- It's terrible. It's awful. So-and-so at the cheerleader thing and you only get access to the photos if you, I mean, it's, yeah, it's bad.

And the fact that it has gone, I assume it seems mostly unchecked, at least in the U.S. It's very unchecked. It does feel like Wild Wild West. Like, you can't necessarily find and delete or block everything before. Yeah. So many bad people there. Anyway. for yeah so many bad people there anyway so anyway on that note here's a parent review for a young adult book called shiver by uh maggie stiefvater oh stiefvater are you familiar with this book or

uh no i'm not i don't think i am either uh doesn't sound familiar i was just curious uh do you want to do you want me to read a no i was just curious i think it wasn't really relevant what okay yeah no that's fine i was just curious basically from what i know uh it it the the common sense media, critics review basically said it does for werewolves what vampire did for Twilight. Twilight. What Twilight did for vampires. Excuse me. Twilight did stuff for werewolves, too. That's true.

Hello, people. But this is more like a... Yeah. Focused on the werewolf side of things. Got it. Okay. So this is a four-star review by an adult whose username is readresponsibly. And they believe this is for ages 16 and up.

Maggie Stiefvater is an incredible writer. Uses metaphors beautifully and really pulls you into the story. The story I thought was good. However, as a parent, I would also have to agree with the other parents. I didn't like that Grace and Sam slept together throughout the novel in her bedroom. I didn't like it in Twilight either. I didn't like

the teenage sex. And so would I call Grace a good role model? Probably not. This title contains sexy stuff. I feel like every teenager's like, great, I'm in. Yeah, exactly. Like, you're just... Teen sex with werewolves? I'm in. Like, I. Like, you're just, you're just. Teen sex with werewolves, I'm in. Like, I mean.

Was that for you or were you speaking for the teens? That was a you wanting that. I mean, I think like. Both, maybe. It could be both. But yeah, you know, I feel that Twilight didn't have explicit sex scenes. Not that I knew. It was more like.

Did it at all? I mean. He would like be in her bedroom while she slept. Yes, he watched her sleep, for sure. Which is honestly more upsetting to me. It was more like Did it at all? I mean He would like be in her bedroom while she slept. Yes, he watched her sleep for sure. Which is honestly more upsetting to me. What was the song?

I mean, Dee just brought it up to me, but I can't because we listened to it the entire Bachelorette. Bella's Lullaby? Yeah, Bella's Lullaby, but it's also like

Slash Edward stands at Bella's bed. It was something like that. Yeah, Edward at Bella's bed. Yeah, because I made a nice thing where I made Edward at her bed or something. I made a playlist for everybody.

I said, oh, let's make a collaborative playlist. And that song was added 16 times. I think Liz's one was like, did you hear about the playlist? No, I'm kidding. It was so fun and hilarious because then we ended up watching Twilight. Oh, yes. And of course, then when the song came on, we were all very excited. But no, like, yes, it's honestly, I'd be more disturbed as far as Twilight goes, that he is like gaslighting the shit out of her.

Oh, yeah, no, true, true, true, true, true. So like, there's a lot more in there that's like, teen sex is one thing, of course, but like, that's to me not- The emotional manipulation, you know, something that- Yes, there's like some really wild abusive tendencies. And don't get me wrong, I fucking loved those books and movies. And watching the movies is very fun nowadays. Yeah, I mean, I watched it within the past year. I think two years, for the first time.

Especially if you eat a little bit of edible, you have a good time watching that film. That sounds even better. Yeah, no, and I enjoyed it for what it was. Yeah. Understanding what it was. Yeah. One thing I want to revisit, Hunger Games. Like, talk about adult themes in that.

I was just talking. Like, fucking everyone dies. I mean, that's the whole point. At the party, somebody said, I want to reread Hunger Games. And I was like, me too. I think it was Kate, because I was like, I haven't read that in years, but I love those books. Yeah, me too.

I thought they were great. Me too. I didn't read Twilight. I read Harry Potter and the hunger games i read and i remember of all of those kinds of types of books i think hunger games is the one that like oh yeah hold me in the most oh yeah it was scary it was like really intense great um but yeah very adult so that's the thing is like i know complaining about like teenagers having sex which it's just a thing i don't know and. And apparently it didn't, it wasn't, because a couple of people wrote like, okay, they

kind of mentioned that that happened. It wasn't even like, yeah, a graphic like, as I assume. No, they didn't describe the scene. It was just like, oh, you know, he spent the night and whatever. But anyway, this is a review for a book called Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. This is a, I believe a Judy Blume book. Let me just make sure. I don't want to say that wrong.

Yeah, so it's by Judy Blume and it came out in 72, 1972. Hard to believe. So here is a two-star review of this. I'm not going to read the title of the review because spoilers. This was a favorite of mine when I was a kid, so I excitedly handed my daughter a copy to read without giving it much thought. Later, what? I'm sorry. I'm just thinking of like, if you were like, oh, I love this book and then pull book from 1970-something out and gave it to your child without reading it. I'm glad you get that because I was about to ask like, oh, what, do you know this book or something? But you're just understanding the bigger issue.

No, I think I know where this is going. There's got to be something in there inappropriate that did not age well. Yeah, let's get into it. Any guess? I assume some sort of misogyny, something like, I don't know. It's way weirder. Racism? Way weirder.

Weirder? Not worse, to be clear. But also fucked up. I'll just read two. Like fetish content? I don't understand. Maybe. Okay.

We'll get to it. Like, I don't understand. Maybe. Okay. We'll get to it. Later, when she burst into tears, I was reminded about the part where Fudge swallows a live turtle whole. Who's Fudge? The brother.

Oh, a turtle? My girl was heartbroken and grossed out. I started reading through the book and was surprised at some of the language and behavior. It sure is different reading it as a parent. I have to say there really wasn't much redeeming about this book. I'm honestly not sure what made it so popular when I was a kid. All the reviews are like, what the fuck? This kid ate a live turtle.

It's insane. It's hilarious. And then the people people wrote like and then my daughter kept saying like did it die in his tummy like just horrible stuff where it's like nobody addresses this he didn't get into trouble there was no like please don't eat your brother's your sister's pet you know like like if i'm glad i didn't read that i although that would scar me although it's extremely familiar so part of me thinks maybe i did read that but no i just ate your turtle once i remember i thought it sounded familiar i was like man good times yeah uh wow that's crazy i was disturbed by just reading that i mean thankfully it's a fictional book but like oh uh so this poor

kid was like burst out crying there were a lot of reviews where it said like oh i used to love this book so i let my kid read it and then i just heard sobbing in her room i thought it would be like more harmless like uh what's that the owen blanket thing where we i like was reading reviews of that and people were complaining about how the message and i was like you know yeah the message in hindsight is kind of like not great it's like oh yeah you can't grow up grow up like be tough you can have a handkerchief yeah you can't have a blanket and the even though owen's still a child like whatever it's ridiculous anyway so like that i was like oh so i thought kind of maybe something more similar to that but

like yikes this is like another level. This is like sociopathic behavior. Like it really is like someone needs to take the child to a therapist. Yeah, yeah. But it's 1972, so, you know. I just hope Judy Blume didn't write this from experience. That kid got lobotomized, I'm sure. God. Here's a redemption of Blippi, because I knew we were going to go on a tangent about him.

Blippi, if you're listening, don't worry. After all of this non-Blippi content that I'm sure you stuck around for- If either you or, let me find your other name. Hold on. Steezy Grossman. Steezy Grossman, if you're listening. If either you or Stevie Grossman are listening, I do apologize. Again, my daughter sometimes stumbles upon your content, clicks on it. And you immediately close it. I'm just kidding. I don't because she will scream. So it's sort of like I just have to let her enjoy it, you know.

It's not my favorite thing in the world, but. Has she listened to Snack Time by the Barenaked Ladies yet? You know, we've played that a few times. Does it pull her in quite? And she hasn't quite grasped how genius yeah the lyrics are i think she's a little older yeah we'll get there so this is a five-star review this is my last one and it's of blippy uh the reviewer is a teen who is 16 years old and exactly who i trust uh to review my content for like very young children.

16 year olds. So he believes it's for ages two and up and gave it five stars. And the title is perfect, which, okay. I think even Stevie, Steezy Grossman knows that's a stretch, but okay. Perfect. When Blippi goes to a playground or something, the kids start to disturb the video and talk to him. But he says hello or hi and plays with the other kids like pushing them on the swing. And I think that's nice of him.

This title contains great messages and great role models. Hey, okay. If the 16-year-old thinks Blippi's good with kids, maybe Blippi is good with kids. But imagine when it's like, oh, the kids are trying to talk to him and he's like, get the fuck out of my shop. I'm like, oh, he says hi to them. I think the 16 year old's like, I know what I would do. I'd beat these little brats. Kick them out of my way.

Kick them out. Yeah. It was like, he says hello or hi and plays with them. And I'm like, well, A, I bet they're probably child actors that are part of this. Maybe not. But B, it would be a bad look if he was like, oh, yeah, I'm filming here. Get out. Yeah.

What's he supposed to do? Exactly. So, you know what I did last time I was at a playground? I got away as soon as I could because I realized I was wearing my Viagra Boys shirt. Oh, no. That was when we went on a hike. Oh, that day. And I didn't know we were going to a playground.

I wasn't like, oh, yeah, let's go to the playground. I didn't either. But we went to go on a hike and Leona saw the playground and was like, let's go. And so we were just kind of standing there. And I was just standing there. And there was a two-year-old's birthday party. And I looked down and I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm wearing this shirt today. It was literally an Elmo-themed birthday party. Yeah. Oh, oh, fuck. I'm wearing this shirt today. It was literally an Elmo-themed birthday party.

Yeah. Oh, that's true. I was wearing my Steezy Grossman shirt. I hope nobody noticed. You were also just being Steezy Grossman. No. I was your old. No, I wasn't.

I wasn't. Anyway, that was a fun one. She pooped. Outzinner, enough. So many. Outzinner, no. Okay. Want to do our

spring cleaning episode? Get that out of the way? Let's go do that. We're gonna record our Patreon. Y'all, speaking of spring cleaning, if you're doing some spring cleaning, find a couple extra quarters or some money when you're doing your cleaning. Maybe spend that

money on tickets to see us live. Oh, that was really smooth, Odd Center. Thank you. I had to come up with something. We just want to keep reminding you that our live shows are coming up. We're very excited. They start in June already. And this episode comes out in May.

Yes. So we're running out of time, y'all. They're coming fast. We're going to do a different show in every city. We're going to do, you know. Drew, yeah, I don't think we talked about that much. Every show is different. Do reviews of each city or like hot spots in each city on stage for us all to laugh about together and good fun.

So check out Beach2Sandy.com. All the ticket links are there. And hurry up and snag a ticket before they sell out. And we'll see you live. Can't wait. Bye, y'all. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer.

It's edited by Brian Heveron-Smith, cover art by Courtney Aventura, theme music by Mavis White, executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.