Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 245: Reviews of Topgolf

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

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like two grand worth of ink prints me over 7 700 color pages mega tank mega what listen to the voice in your head and get a canon mega tank printer so you don't have to think about ink for a long, long time. Visit canon.ca slash Megatank for details. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello. Four. Oh, duck, everybody. That means a golf ball is headed your way from hit by someone at Topgolf.

And that means you are an employee at Topgolf who has to ride around and pick up all the golf balls. Oh, yeah. That looks fun. I went to Topgolf once. Cool. I was there. I know. Yeah. It was there. I know. It was fun. You've talked a lot about a conspiracy theory you have.

It's not a conspiracy. Wait. It's not a conspiracy. The podcast I want to make? Yeah. It's not a conspiracy. Okay. There are conspiracies within the story that you have. That's what I will say i would never mind

it's a crime there was a crime that was committed i will give you that a big one yeah although i guess it's alleged isn't it is it i don't think anyone was ever charged anyway they were charged i just don't oh then i think they might oh you're saying that they were never oh they were charged i just don't oh then i think they might oh you were saying that they were never oh they were charged yes they were not i didn't mean charged i meant uh convicted um what podcast are we on uh beach shoe sandy water too wet my new conspiracy where we talk about our experience at top golf very vaguely all that happens when i go places is i tell people conspiracy theories about crimes um everybody knows that already about me zandy you're the last one to find out

it finally happened to me uh so top golf top golf it's a place if you're not familiar which i didn't really get it until i went um it's basically like a big driving range uh but it's gamified it's yeah and it's like multi-tiered so there's a bottom floor middle second floor and a third floor with big just openings yes and you you you each get a bay and you can order food and drinks and there are screens and you can add the number of players and then you their golf club you can bring your own um you kind of look like a nerd if you do that but um if you can bring your own clubs but they have clubs there uh and you can add your names different players and there are different games you can play and you hit and

there are these targets giant targets with like nets and different point values different sizes um it's a really fun experience i think i don don't know. Yeah, no, I think you did. You did great. You did great for someone who doesn't golf. The problem I have is someone who is a avid golfer. I'm not an avid golfer. I haven't golfed many times. I only go to top golf if anything now, but now it's like,

if I go, everyone's like, well, yeah, you played golf. Like, of course you're good at this. I'm like, that's so like,

there's no winning for me. Like if I win, it's, it's whatever. If I lose, it's like, Oh so like there's no winning for me like if i win it's it's whatever if i lose it's like oh my god i can't believe i beat you and it's like so it's like if i were to take i'm just too good for my own good to you to a paint and sip you'd be like i'd be great what do you mean if i were to take you to paint and sip you'd be like oh man it's not fair because you're so good at drinking wine. You're so good at sipping. You're the best sipper I know. How am I supposed to keep up?

I'm just saying it happens to the best of us on the center. We all have our strengths. So true. Why don't you go first? I'll go first. Please. This is a review sent in by Erin Sheher. This is of the Topgolf in Colorado Springs.

It is a one-star review. Awful. A club fell from second floor and hit the back of one of the player on our team head last night. The manager offered alcohol wipes for the open gash on his head, and that was pretty much it.

What a terrible idea. Let's put alcohol on this open wound. The manager kept saying, he's all right. He's tough. If somebody said that to me and I had just gotten fucking smacked in the head with a golf club. Your baby voice would come on. You'd be like, I'm not tough. I don't know what I would do, but it would certainly be upsetting to everybody.

Yeah, that's no. I'd also like to clarify that i misread it it says he's a light instead of all right oh he's a light okay when i did first read it i thought oh no after all that alcohol i thought maybe a match introduced yeah okay became a light i see the manager kept saying he's a light he's tough in an attempt to stoke his ego so he wouldn't complain. End of review. Yeah, that sounds like exactly what that is. Precisely what's happening. Also, like, I'm sorry.

The person who brought like alcohol, they're not probably trained in like extensive first aid. Yeah, but you'd think a place like, I don't know. I guess if you go to your local driving range, you're not going to someone who's i don't know yeah this is surprising i i feel like it's very difficult and it feels like it would almost have to be purposeful to get a or to get a club to fall on someone else's head because there's like a net thing right in front of where you hit and then like below that net is the next net so like how did it land in such a way that it came backwards to hit someone in the head i'm not saying it didn't happen you're doing like it just seems like such a freak accident that like they're probably not prepared

for something like that you're doing a ballistics like crime scene report where you're like the blood spatter evidence suggests that the golf club came from this direction. Yeah. And maybe they should hire you. Who needs first aid when you can have somebody like Zandy? Just to be there. Oh, hold on, everyone. I've got this. This is unconscious. Let's see how this happened.

This net is a little bouncy. So I think that's what. Someone throw a test club from up there. Oh, they hit him in the head again. See, I told you guys I'd figure it out. Mystery solved. Yeah, no, but it is a place that is just, I don't know if I'm using this word, rife, like, with or for shenanigans. Rife with.

Rife with. Okay, thank you. Rife with. It's a place that. Sorry. Top golf begets shenanigans. That should be their slogan. Stop talking, the dog's barking.

And just stop talking also. Is he done? I don't know. I can't let you get away with Topgolf begets shenanigans. Like we're not deleting that. No, I was going to say it again. Oh, okay. Well, now we're saying it again.

Okay, but no, is that not correct? Topgolf begets shenanigans. Topgolf begets shenanigans. It's like an axe throwing place. Why are you giving alcohol and basically weapons to people and saying, party? Yeah. That's what they say. That's what they say.

It's on every single screen. Yeah. Every time you hit it says party and like the ability to hit and it, they encourage people who don't know how to golf to go, which is absolutely fine. The problem comes when people manage to hit the ball in a way that no golfer has ever even seen before. Sort of like when you bowl and you accidentally swing the ball backwards

or let go. And you're like, how is that even possible? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like they defy physics, really, with their lack of ability. Exactly. It's sometimes so impressive. It is.

It's pretty incredible. And you see these balls shooting in directions that you're like, it feels purposeful. But then you see someone do it and you're like, holy shit, it's possible. That's what I meant earlier when I said I'm really good at it because you kept complimenting. You were like, I'm so impressed. Yeah. Because the ball kept hitting people's beers, people's heads. People.

People. I thought it was pretty impressive. Sure. Your turn. This one here, this is from Emma Sheher. This is of the Topgolf outside of Chicago. Here is a one-star review.

I paid for golf and expensive beers. I should be able to bring, eat my Italian beef. End of review. Wait, I should be able to bring my, what? Bring, eat my Italian beef. For some reason, every time you say it, I picture them getting

cuffed and shouting like, I should be able to eat my beef. This feels so chicago i don't know anything about chicago but italian beef i'm like that sounds like oh my god you know they brought the most chicago thing ever hot dog in there um is that what that is i don't know i think it's a sandwich oh okay but still regardless of what but okay some people are screaming that hot dogs are sandwiches okay Okay, fuck off. I don't care about this.

You know what I mean, people. But yeah, the Italian beef, I think, is a Chicago staple. So it's just even more fitting that this Topgolf near Chicago is just not letting the Italian beef be consumed on their premises. I think big beef is gonna get involved next god let's hope not let's hope not they probably already are let's be real uh it says party sponsored by big beef it says uh top golf begets shenanigans sponsored by big beef so true okay so this is a another review aaron sent in and it's a saga. So it's like, basically what Aaron did was search. They saw one review that mentioned the name Richie, which is like an employee there.

And then searched the name and found like a series of friends who wrote from their own perspectives. Oh, I love these. Yeah. I feel like I get this a lot with wedding-related reviews. Oh, yeah, you've brought a few of those. Where it's like the bride, the groom, then the parents. One of the parents who paid for us, presumably. And then some random cousin who was like, I attended this wedding.

And I had a great time. And everyone's like, your input was not asked for. This is a one-star review. This one's by Shane. Do you know which top goal? I believe this is Colorado Springs as well. Got it's by Shane. Do you know which Topgolf? I believe this is Colorado Springs as well. Got it. Great night,

but the manager named Richie is ruining people's experiences and running this place into the ground. Would change to five stars if Richie is gone. Now the interesting thing is that each of these reviews has been marked helpful by exactly three people.

Oh. Why do you think that is? Because there are four people total. That's correct. Who have this vendetta. Correct. One star by Jesse. Usually love coming here.

However, some new manager, Richie, was very sassy with us and then stared at our group the entire night, making people in our group uncomfortable. Not a great look. Three people found this review helpful. One star by Keegan. Richie, the manager, is not fit to run this place, and everyone we tell will know that. He said he was the, quote, protector of experiences and gave the most sass to a large group of eight you'll ever hear in your life. He stayed and stared at us for the entire two hours of game time and checked our IDs three times.

Two of our group didn't even play because he made them so uncomfortable. Thanks, Richie. We broke zero rules, didn't upset anyone but you and played the whole time end of review okay now what do you think happened

because I have the final review of the person at the center of this scandale I don't know okay I'm excited to find out though

one star by Maddie. If I could leave zero stars, I would. My experience at Topgolf was extremely terrible, only because of the manager, Richie. He was absolutely rude and very unprofessional. My friends and I were just having a couple of drinks and randomly got approached, and the first thing that was told to me was, quote, I can't be served any more alcohol for the night. I had two drinks within an hour and you're going to tell me I

can't drink anymore? When I tried to explain to him that I haven't had much, he kept interrupting me and treating me like I was not even a guest. Rishi had an attitude about the whole situation and made me feel very unwelcome. You can tell that he treats his employees terribly and walks around on his high horse. That doesn't make much sense. Yeah, on top of the horse. That's actually pretty impressive. It's like a circus. He's one of the targets.

Not the horse, though. That's sad. No, save the horse from Richie's stomping. Ride the Richie? No, never mind. Whoa. You're about to sing Save the Horse, Ride the Richie.

Save the horse, ride the richie. Brought to you by Big Beef. You can tell that he treats his employees terribly and walks around on his high horse. Our service, however, was absolutely wonderful. Our bay host was very helpful and fun. I always have such a good experience until we have

to interact with their said managers that aren't of any assistance, but to sit there and act tough, throw attitude and ruin the entire experience. The company should definitely reconsider a new management team because they will continue to ruin experiences for all of your guests, because this was not the first time management has done this. Save your time and money unless you want to be discriminated against by the leaders of that place i feel for their employees and wow we what did the um what did he call the protector of experiences imagine him on a horse though a high horse i am the protector of experience waiting in the elevator at the top golf to like get to the third floor to tell people he's like ride along with me oh my gosh um wow yeah i

you know i honestly should have guessed that it had to do with a lot of alcohol related that was a very common thing cut off yeah it was a big issue for people and like people get they take it personally i mean maybe i mean it is kind of personally feels personal because i've never been they are you know they're being targeted, like, don't drink anymore. Believe it or not, I've never been cut off. But I would imagine it feels pretty unpleasant. And you would probably get defensive. Well, I don't know.

I feel like, I don't know. Last time I was at Topgolf was in Vegas, I think. No, I went with you after that. Was that after Vegas? Yes. Okay. Well, okay. Whatever.

Whatever the order was. But when I was at Topgolf in Vegas, we had all had edibles. And I remember feeling so paranoid that I was going to get in trouble for something. Because I was worried I was going to lose the club out of my hands. Were you? No. I was so scared. I was so paranoid.

It ended up being fun. Once we were playing, I was like okay that is a ridiculous fear because I've swung a golf club many times and I don't know if that's ever happened in my life so I was like I'll be fine but still you're standing up there especially on the third floor and you're like which

is the best place to be it's the most fun I think and most people think and you're like if this club falls out of my hands I don't know where it's going to go. On someone's. I promise. I know.

Exactly. So. So that's why they serve alcohol. Yeah. But also, that's why I understand why they cut people off, because if they see them acting a little bit like too loose with the rules or too loose with the clubs, I don't know. Can get it can get dangerous very quickly. I mean,

yes, I would say that top golf begets shenanigans. You, that's, that's a trademark saying you can't say that unless I'm going to always say it. I'm always going to say it. Um, I'm not,

I'm not ever going to say, I know. Quote brought to you by big beef. Oh, he just did it. No, no, without the quotes. Cut the clip.

I hate it. I hate it. It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back. Win big with a daily $10,000 jackpot sponsored by Tim's Financial. Earn an entry with every roll. Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply. Canada only. No purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. Oh, that coffee smells good. Can you pass me the sugar when you're finished?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? That's salt, not sugar. Let's get you another coffee. Feeling distracted? You're not alone. Many Canadians are finding it hard to focus with mortgage payments on their minds. If you're struggling with your payments, speak to your bank. The earlier they understand your situation, the more options and relief measures could be available to you. Learn more at Canada.ca slash it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada. All righty, my next one is also from Emma. This is of the same Topgolf outside Chicago. Here we go. One star.

Worst experience ever. We book through the app like you guys ask, and there is no option to select a floor you want. Waited one and a half hours, and they put us in the bottom floor. It's called Topgolf, not Bottomgolf. The workers that told me to do it in the app floor is called top golf not bottom golf the workers that told me to do in the app are the worst end of review bottom golf now that's a different thing that's that's for another episode i was gonna say i don't want to know about that really uh

i mean someone has to be on the bottom floor someone's got to be at the bottom someone's got to be the bottom yeah i think he's an angry bottom. The floors I did I did say the three floors wrong. Earlier I said the ground floor, then the middle floor, and then the top floor. Sorry, do they have

names? Yeah, it's bottom, verse, top. Verse? Yeah. Why? Verse! No reason. Just? Yeah. Why? Verse! No reason. Just never mind. Stupid joke. I get it.

Okay. I just got it. It's a stupid joke. Okay, let's move on. Oh my god. You're like always making my mind a bad place to be. Oh my god, that's like the meanest heart well so that's a thing is if i that is a terrible thing if that were true if i were always doing that like you

should just kill me like fuck i might you should jesus that was harsh so it's not always isn't ways isn't it are you okay christina that was intense you always make my mind the worst place to be is that what you said that was insane brought to you by big p like like that's scary like if that's real we should talk about that after this episode why not right now oh no okay I have a review from Olivia then that's the joke that did it that broke the that's the straw or whatever

I don't know you go I'm the camel from Olivia this is a one star review by Carmen I don't know the location of this Topgolf one star just got video footage From Olivia. This is a one-star review by Carmen. I don't know the location of this Topgolf. One star. Just got video footage of one y'all's employees smoking in the bathroom.

His name is Richie. End of review. Just kidding. It's not. I wrote... It crossed it out and wrote Richie. That's funny. But it says his name is Connor and then multiple crying emojis.

Oh, no. And I feel like the crying emojis are confusing because. What does that mean? Like, are you sad to be giving him up? What? Like, are you sad that you had to like tattle? Yeah. Maybe.

Or they're just sad. Innocence lost type of thing. Not Connor. We lost Connor to the smokes. We lost Connor to the smokes. Anyway. At least he's not vaping. I guess. Why do you say that?

Because it would be sadder to say we lost Connor to the vape. You know, that would be sad. Yeah. Yeah. That's really hard to hear first, folks. Go for those cigarettes for the vape. It's safer. Go for those smokes. It's smokes much safer it's not much safer

neither are safe don't do them okay here's a one-star review as the assistant to the surgeon general i can insure you i mean remember that movie thank you for smoking assure you not insure you i can't insure you don't insure anyone'm not going to insure anyone. Just keep me out of that if you do. Thank you for smoking. Yeah, what was that? Is that a documentary? No, it was about a guy whose whole career was to get people to smoke. Oh, to smoke. He was trying to promote smoking.

From what I remember, it was a very good movie. And I think it was critically well- I don't know. I feel like it never was as big as whatever. I remember the poster. Yep. I just haven't seen it in years, so I don't know. I feel like it never was as big as whatever. I remember the poster. Yep. I just haven't seen it in years, so I don't want to say too much,

but I just remember. It's like a suit with a cigarette coming out of the top of it. I remember it being like a good movie. Okay, here's a one-star review. This is of Topgolf in Meridian, Idaho. And this was sent in by Bridget. And Bridget actually sent this in in June.

So like, it was so I searched Topgolf. I didn't search it as two words, as one. So maybe other people sent things in if they spelled it with two words. I think it sometimes shows you both. What? Okay, just go on. I've seen both, yes. But anyway, this was the first, what I'm trying to say is

the first email that mentioned Topgolf. Got it. That we had. So Bridget started it all. It was in June. I was kind of surprised that there weren't any that were earlier. Yeah, me too. Bridget kind of called it with this one.

Here's a one-star review. Terrible service. The manager punched my son in the chest over a cookie that was on an unmarked table. Absolutely unacceptable. Do better, Topgolf. End of review. Is there a response? No, but there are reactions.

Ready? Three people found it helpful. One person said, thanks. And one person said, oh no. I say oh no for sure. I feel like I've never seen the oh no. That's new. That's new? That's hilarious. I love the oh no. I say oh no for sure. I feel like I've never seen the oh no. That's new. That's new?

That's hilarious. I love the oh no. It's just like a shocked face with a sweat bead emoji type thing. It's kind of like, yikes. Yeah, like, oh no. It's like, oh no, one might say. You might say.

I love oh no because I think it applies to literally every review. You know, I- It doesn't matter what it is. To me, I'm like, oh no. Positive, sensual ones i read last episode correct all of those were oh noes like sweat like oh no yeah like i'm feeling something not good reading this really bad vibes yeah bad vibes bad vibes true um wowza well i have a review here and this is a one-star review. Oh. I know. It was sent in by B with the Mothman icon in the Discord is what it says. Okay.

This is from the Germantown, Maryland Topgolf. It is a one-star review. I usually don't do reviews, but I think this one is super necessary. Customer service is really bad. I have gone to the place several times and I usually get a waiter that is not very friendly at all. I just build on patience and that's...

What? Huh? But today, OMG, I was invited to a bat mitzvah and suddenly the manager, Sarah, just started screaming at the kids and kicked them out of the place before the time ended. Get out! She screamed.

One boy approached her and very gently said, let's shake hands. What? Wonder if that's the kid who got punched. I was about to say, I would punch this kid in the chest. I wouldn't punch a child, I'm kidding. But like if someone, if I was upset with a person, an adult, not a child,

but if I was upset with a person and they were like, let's shake hands, I'd be like, fuck you. Like that is not meant in like sincerity. That sounds fucking rude. I don't think maybe I'm just cynical. I mean, we're cynical. That makes me feel like. For sure. They're trying to like get a rise out of me by being obnoxious.

To be the bigger person. Yeah, which. Okay. One boy approached her and very gently said, let's shake hands. What? Sorry. Like a little kid, she held her hand on her back and said no.

A 14-year-old teaching her manners? Laughing, crying emoji. Apparently, the boys were very loud and they were throwing food. When I saw, there were no much food in the floor, but the point is her approach. I understand teenagers can be very loud and rough. I have two at home. But the manager should have approached the parents or the adult in the reservation and talk about it. We were ten parents really enjoying the game.

Of course, we had to make sure the kids behave. If you are the manager and you let your emotions take control sorry you lose basic management lessons end of review this one in particular for some reason makes my skin crawl yeah it's upsetting about it like i don't know it feels weird right like the whole situation and also again these shenanigans. Also, they said not no much food. Not much food. So there was food on the floor. Yeah, they're like, I didn't see very much food on the floor.

It's like, well. Why are you defending these children who seem to be acting up? Like, okay, yeah, they'll be kids, but let the manager deal with it. I don't know. I also feel like this is a place once again where there are heavy objects that can be wielded yeah and if you have a bunch of teenagers teenage boys or pre-teen boys acting rowdy and having a food fight especially like if you're on that third floor oh my lordy like that's a lawsuit waiting that's so true i mean it's dangerous and

like i don't know it's not it's while it is a place while top golf begets shenanigans shenanigans are not they don't belong there they shouldn't be there because it's you know it can lead to some unfortunate consequences shenanigan free zone you know i think that there should be at least at the very least limits and the number of shenanigans. Am I libertarian? Because I don't agree with you. I think the problem is the shenanigans that are involved at Topgolf ramp up very quickly. Like, it's one thing to hit the ball at the car driving around, trying to hit that car. Like, it's designed to be hit by golf balls. That's fine.

Everyone does it. That's a shenanigan that everyone can participate in, and no one gets hurt. Not even the person driving the car. They'd probably get mildly annoyed. They're probably listening to music anyway. They don't care. Anyway, but when you have these clubs and these kids who are hopped up on something, who knows?

Who knows? Maybe they had a little sip of, you know, Dr. Pepper. It gets wild. It's a bat mitzvah. Like, everyone's going to get rowdy. It gets rowdy. It really does.

That being said, if someone invited me to a bat mitzvah at a Topgolf, I would be there with bells on. Remember that time that we had a party at a bowling alley and we were banned for life?

We were banned forever. Because we... It wasn't even you and I. It was literally all the children were throwing bowling balls. I mean, we were children, to be fair. They were chipped bowling balls by the end. I've never seen a chunk come out of a bowling ball. Until that fated day. Until that day.

And I haven't seen it since. Okay, but you said the children were, but like, it was our group. Oh, yeah. The children who are the same age as us it was our group oh yeah the children who are the same age as us yeah yeah sorry like the other children we as children had a had a birthday party at a bowling alley yeah and there was so much chaos that ensued that we were banned from returning yeah it was uh it was a lot it was not good i remember the manager coming down and i i hid uh behind a curtain oh it was embarrassing I knew something bad was going to happen.

Yeah, because it was pretty bad. It was pretty bad. The bowling ball with the chip in it is like such a core memory of like it. It will never leave my head. Yeah, exactly. So anyway. Anyway, so I get like all that to say, I see how things can get quickly out of hand and how management would have to intervene. All that to say, I see how things can get quickly out of hand and how management would have to intervene.

And how if one of those kids at our party walked up to the manager of the bowling alley, especially if it were a woman, and said, let's shake hands. Oh, my gosh. You're banned. Yeah. I would ban them just for that. I would come out from behind the curtain and be like, you're banned. But also, I'd be a terrible manager of a Topgolf. Right. That's why it's meant for the strongest. Come out on your horse and be like, you're banned. But also I'd be a terrible manager of a Topgolf, so Right, that's why it's meant for the strongest. Come out on your horse

and be like, you're all banned. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be an equestrian and also you have to have very very, just a strong backbone, you know? So true. I have neither of those skills. Me neither. So, my turn? No, I think that was your review. Oh, that's right. That was

terrible. That's terrible. But I have one from Bea as well? No, I think that was your review. Oh, that's right. That was terrible. That's terrible. Um, but I have one from B as well. Uh, actually I have two. Oh. Um, my first one here. They're both, I believe, of the same Germantown, Maryland. Oh. Um, Topgolf.

That's where I got my first speeding ticket. And last, actually. At the Topgolf. It was Germantown, Maryland. Yeah, I remember that. Good times. It was not a good time. No, I was really stressed.

It was actually really terrible. Yeah yeah i was going way too fast and then he was like i can knock off some things so you don't get as big of a fine or something like some of the some miles per hour to make it like we pulled it over yeah so it wasn't like a felony like he was like not that bad oh my god he literally was like so you don't have to go to court. I will knock down. Maybe that was it. To just a speeding fine. It was something like, I was a few miles per hour over a point that caused me issues. I recall.

Anyway, one star review of the Topgolf. It's not a proud moment for me. One star. Here we go. Service was great and the people there were wonderful. But when it comes to the course, there's no possible way to depress me

more. Oh. After about my 12th hit, I noticed that half my hits were gifted to another player. The points that I did make appeared on the screen, but must have evaporated into thin air because I didn't see it at all. After that,

their friend is like, delete, delete. The word top should be removed from your name because I've been to a trashed Rita's mini golf course that couldn't have cost more than two strings and a toothpick to create, but yet it still puts your multimillion dollar business to shame. My day is ruined and you should feel bad about it.

End of review. Hey, you want to know something? What? They don't feel bad about it. Neither do I. Same, got him. I mean, come on. First of all, that points thing, it's your fault.

When your points aren't going to you, it's because you did not click that it was your turn. You have to like... I'm not saying it's never glitchy. There's an order of how to do it. If it keeps happening, it's probably... What they're describing is a user error. User error.

And also, why don't you just say to an employee, hey, by the way, this isn't working. Because they would have been like, well, you have to hit the button first. Also... I think you have the ability to edit points as well. I could be wrong, but that might be more complicated. But yeah, I get it if someone doesn't understand how the thing works,

but there are employees for that. They ask you if it's your first time. They explain how things work. But you know what I do think and feel? Do I want to? No, but I want my worst depression ever to be the feeling that I have. If the feeling in Topgolf is the deepest, darkest depression I ever feel, sign me up for a fucking blessed life. Right, that's so true.

Hashtag blessed to the ends of the earth, brought to you by Big Beef. Yeah, and to be fair, I looked at this person's other reviews. They only had one review with no words that was a five star, and's it so yeah maybe that's true this is truly toothpick it actually was not it actually was not it should have been i'm gonna say like and now rita's is like wait can you leave us a review so they were just like catching some strays there they were like who are you insulting our course like they were insulting yeah they were were saying basically how shitty it is, but it's better than the top golf. They probably spent no money on that, and Rita's like, no, actually, I'm pretty invested. But my whole life savings.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We could use a couple stars thrown our way. Yeah. Oh, Rita's. Wait, in Georgia. Oh, okay. Rita's.

Is Rita doing well? Rita, I mean, their website is nice. Slamming. And I would be surprised if Rita's is also not multi-million dollar company. If they have so many locations. I think they have a lot of locations. So this is not just like a rinky-dink thing. No.

They have a shit ton of locations. They must have bought a lot of toothpicks to make this happen. Right? Like, they have a shit ton in like the, looks like Pennsylvania, New Jersey area. Anyway. I have a review sent in by Liz Shideh, who is GnarlyRayJepson on Discord. Hell yeah. I read that because what a great name.

One star review of, I don't know which place but it does not matter one star okay tell Flan for that those two blonde females that's a good start right so good this is by local guide by the way also already describing every single top golf so you haven't narrowed it down at all with that it's probably good

yeah actually wait it does it'll tell you oh good's probably good. Yeah. Actually, wait. It does. It'll tell you. Oh, good. Probably not good, but too bad. Those two blonde females that set up the Top Golfender at the Keg Festival in St. Paul. Huh? This guy was just

taking pictures and video, not interested in personal information of other people on the morning of September 14th at between 10.30 a.m. and 11.30 a.m. They also work at Topgolf. College girls these days turn... Wait, what? There's no punctuation.

I think basically what they're saying is... Someone was like, stop filming us or something? These young women set up like a vendor thing, like a mini, I imagine like Topgolf thing at a keg festival. And someone was filming them, I assume, or taking pictures. And they were uncomfortable by it. And they said, please don't take photos or video. Okay. I mean, I won't say it is this local guide, but I won't say it's not this local guide because they're getting awful defensive about this stranger who just happened to be videotaping.

So they said they also work at Topgolf College Girls these days. They turned and told the police officer Jay Moore at the festival that told him to leave the festival and threaten him with arrest for trespassing and disorderly conduct. Please respect this young man's First Amendment rights to take pictures and videos in public. That is not how the Constitution works. Yeah, I don't think so. I do feel like George Washington did say something about drones and handheld camcorders.

But I don't think iPhones were part of it. Please respect this young man's First Amendment rights to take pictures and video in public. I will never go to this location in St. Paul, Minnesota ever due to the fact they will turn me into police for disorderly conduct and trespassing. Rude as ladies ever. Get a life, ladies. If you do not want to be filmed in public go work in a private sector like fast food restaurants like mcdonald's end of review what are you even talking about none of that makes sense i don't think they understand public versus private i don't think

they understand much of anything like to say oh don't go work in private sector like as if top golf is like government yeah what is happening i'm so confused at the keg fest like it's part of the national park system they like they just allotted a spot for a top golf thing at every national constitution does not apply wow this is fascinating what i'm learning this is fascinating i don't even know what the hell's going on. I mean, like, obviously. But, like, also very demeaning talking about these. The way, like, every time they brought him up, it just was so demeaning. It's like, yeah, I'm not with you just from the get go. So, you know, they're just fucking scorned by these women and pissed off about it.

I mean, like, hello. I listen. I'm telling you what happened. And this is alleged. I have. I also have my own alleged story, so let's see. Ours might be very similar. This idiot's friend was taking photos and videos and probably made some comment, and the two women were uncomfortable, told security. Security got involved.

This guy got pissy and wrote a one-star review. Sounds about right. That's pretty much what I was going to say I was going to say something about how while I agree especially public property filming in public totally fine film away

you say the same shit with cops who are like you can't film me and it's like fuck you yes I can that kind of stuff but in this case it sounds like the cop is like, don't film. And this guy is like what I what I assume happened was they were like, oh, I'm very uncomfortable by you filming in gets called out for filming or photos they immediately go into a tirade about i can do whatever i can do it's where i want this is my right as an american blah blah blah first amendment blah blah and they just like go blah blah and they like go all in

which doesn't help and like if someone's uncomfortable and they tell you that like just stop um unless it's they're actually doing something wrong if you're trying to like film something like for legitimate purposes i don't know so it probably just kept happening just to bother them and then eventually they called security because they're like this person's bothering us we can't do our jobs here we're here to do a job we're here to do something we're being violated i don't know whose rights were being violated i don't really care person's rights does anyone really know we're being violated I don't really care Does anyone really know anymore What our rights are Doesn't matter that

The others were also because they are females Yeah I think that sums it up It summed it up when they said two blonde females That immediately I was like okay This person's got some sort of issues here We knew what was coming One star.

This is also from Olivia. This one's good. This doesn't even deserve a one star. We've had not one, but two issues here. And the first time was handled after an unnecessary phone call. But the second was not. Last night, me and my friends left prom early to give Topgolf our business.

Don't get me wrong. I would have attended Topgolf instead of the prom, happily. But don't act like you're doing them some huge fucking favor. Exactly. I'm like, well, you didn't... Big whoop.

Guess what charity work I did? I went to Bucca di Beppo and ate a pound meatball. Okay. So I don't call that charity. Whatever. I chose to not go in a limo. I'm such a good, you know. I didn't get the Hummer stretch limo.

I drove my mom's Prius to prom. That's right. Last night. I will say I did go to laser tag after prom. That's fun. That was fun. I went to bed and cry. And then I went, dropped my date off and then went to IHOP.

I remember. Good times. And then I sat in a parking lot until like six in the morning with Simon. And he was getting picked up to be driven in a van to Indiana. What? And then I drove home, started watching Tom and Jerry or something on the couch. I don't like that. And then Tim woke up and was like, what are you doing down here?

I was like, I haven't gone to bed yet. He was like, you probably should. I was like, you're right. Then I went to bed. That was my prom night. Sorry. Just everyone was curious. He was coked up out of his mind.

I was so coked up. No, we had so we literally in our trunk just had cases of Red Bull. Yeah, I know. Like, I basically call that your cocaine, especially in high school. Good times. Last night, me and my friends left prom early to give Topgolf our business and have fun. They enforced a rule that wasn't clearly

shown on the reservation when I was making it. Then, when I was trying to have a conversation with the floor manager, he was rude about it all. He was talking to me like I was trying to have a conversation with the floor manager, he was rude about it all. He was talking to me like I was a child. You're literally a child. You are a child. Might be 18.

You're not. I promise. He was talking to me like I was a child and didn't understand English. He was disrespectful and never let me finish a sentence. They're a child, but they understand English. See? They said they're talking to me like i'm a child who doesn't understand english oh i see i'm kidding i think i think you don't understand english is what's happening yeah that's but that's been made clear me speaking begets not understanding english right that's right i don't know is that actually right i think

it's it's ripe it's rife rife rife with rife with correctness i think it's right. I don't know. Is that actually right? I think it's rife with correctness. I think it's rife for as many shenanigans as we can find. Correctibles. He was talking to me like I was a child and didn't understand English. He was disrespectful and never let me finish a sentence. He was constantly cutting me off when I was talking and when I handed

him the phone with my dad on the line That's Some mechanic? That's me. I say that as someone who does that. I'm like, here, Tim. I call Tim and have him talk. I feel like he's like, Daddy, I'm being treated unfairly. Me?

I do that? No. When I'm with a mechanic? No. His child. Oh, okay. When I handed him the phone with my dad on the line, he told my dad something we didn't even say. Therefore, this man was lying to my dad.

The biggest sin. The biggest sin of all. Not only that, on prom night. On this of all nights. And the dad goes, you called me on the night of my daughter's prom okay i love this okay he told my dad something we didn't even say therefore this man was lying to my dad just to make us look bad there have been one too many issues at this greenville top golf for no reason and i won't be giving them business anymore. I'd rather spend more time driving to the Georgia top golf rather than giving them any

more business. End of review. These vague fucking like weird interactions people have with top golf staff. It's bizarre. I would love to shadow a top golf employee and not do any work. Don't get me wrong. I would love to interview these top golf and be like, what's your wildest story? We won't say your name.

Richie. I mean, sorry. Sarah. Sorry. What's your name? Share your story. It's anonymous. We'll change your voice modulator.

Yep. Go. Well, I had to talk to this guy's dad. And I mean, oh my gosh, it would just be. Be fun. But I feel like that's true for most of these reviews we've read it's like any employees employers sorry employee stories would be yeah yeah i want to do some under undercover boss stuff but it's me not a boss not a millionaire

not someone who actually is in charge of anything at all yeah This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avion points on debit purchases, and so, so much more. Unlock more perks for less with RBC Vantage. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only.

Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. Visit rbc.com slash student 100. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly.

Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. I've got one more from B. Okay. One star. Same Germantown, Maryland one. There's a bunch of little teenage liberal kids that are pansies and can't take a joke that worked there. i'll never

go back probably kids cool for kids 16 to 25 but as far as adults with money not recommended there are floaters in my drink also most likely because there's kids washing dishes end of review wait okay all right wow oh that hurts my soul soul what joke what's the joke you think that they're gonna admit to whatever joke they said you know like they're not gonna say it of course not but what is it okay from me your perspective

what do you think I got one I got one too okay go ahead I'm trying to remember Let me research for my joke As all good jokes are Heavily researched Every time I go to his improv show

He'd be like hold on I have to get my iPad out And search a term on Google real quick No no no You know how they name the golf clubs yeah uh i need to know the golf club names you don't though i i don't actually but uh but i want to know what the driver's called um it's called like big bertha or something but i don't think that's true because i think that's an actual brand i thought that's an actual golf club um i don't know god this bit is getting

boring xandy i know well i told you to tell your joke i was just gonna tell your joke i've been waiting for you yes i did i said you tell yours i think he said does your boyfriend know you're wearing that to work yeah precisely millennials can't take a joke in these days i say that all the time and people are always so mad at me yeah that's a pretty good one that joke so i'm surprised people get mad um but no uh my i i was thinking that this guy was they were like going through the clubs and they're like oh like these are the clubs these are the men's clubs and he's like oh my pronouns are

Big Bertha that's good so you should have just said it and not like researched it people are still like what the fuck are you saying people are still like what the fuck are you saying because it's like so bizarre and outrageous but you know what I just love those I hate them but I love them the fact that like Yeah, that's fair. Because it's like so bizarre and outrageous, but you know what? I just love those. I hate them,

but I love them. The fact that like they think that's funny, like the pronoun jokes, like it's the same joke every single time. Oh, yeah. And like the compilations of them doing like my pronouns or kiss my ass. It's like what? My favorite. Also because they all use pronouns. Like that's a wild.

It's just it's it's nevermind. Wow. I'm sorry hot take my favorite tiktok ever is the one where the guy goes i just can't take it anymore with these uh like god he's just like i can't take it anymore with these boys saying they're girls and girls saying they're boys and then he looks up and he goes oh a cardinal that's my grandpapa coming to visit me so funny like at first i was like oh shit where is this going and then he's like oh a cardinal yeah i've seen that that is so yeah okay so this is a one-star review of uh this is also from olivia and i can only assume it's of the same Greenville Topgolf. One star.

Heed this warning. Do. I cannot stress this enough. Not. Go to this location. I found several hairs in my tatter tots. I also found roach legs in my lemonade. No, you did not.

Bullshit. First of all, even, you did not. Bullshit. First of all, even if you did. Or it never happened. Even if you have those photos, how the fuck would I know those are roach legs? Is that a common thing? Enough thing? I'm not Googling it. And don't you dare open your computer.

Oh, yes. I can recognize roach legs in my lemonade when I see them. I wouldn't. I'd see these black spind when I see them. Like I wouldn't, I see these black spindly things. And then my first thought wouldn't be, Oh, those must be roach legs. It's like when people put anchovies in a Caesar salad,

you're like, I asked for this without anchovies. I asked for this with the outroach legs. Fair. Yeah. Bad service. Yeah. How they even got there beats me.

Took 37 minutes to even get greeted. They seem understaffed or simply don't care for their guests. Zero stars. End of review. So, you know, I call bullshit. Topgolf is fun. Like, fuck, fuck, fuck all of it. Ready for my challenge?

Oh, yeah, big time. Okay, so my challenge is from Mindy. Yeah, big time. Okay, so my challenge is from Mindy. It's reviews where someone leaves an establishment with one less article of clothing than they came with. This one is so specific and so hilarious. It was a delight. Is this the one I requested you give me? Literally, I was like, oh, let me find one for you.

And you sent me and you're like, how about this one? I was like, I just so happen to have one. Perfect. No, I'm glad you found it for even if for yourself it was so perfect and it was funny because the one i had last week i had seen and i was like oh i hope that she in hindsight i should have just been like can i do this challenge and maybe we find our own yeah we might like why not you know i don't know okay it doesn't make it any more or less challenging yeah i don't know i mean it's a and we don't announce them to each other on the show anymore. We text them to each other so we can be like, or not like we used to announce at the end of the show.

Yeah. But like, since we don't do that anymore, like might as well just find our own that really fit us, you know? Yeah. Or that are really easy for me to do. Or that. Depending on the week, you know? Okay. Okay.

So this is a challenge from, uh, uh, oh fuck, who did I say? Mindy? Yeah, from Mindy.

So this is a review. Uh, it was sent in by Hannah Sheher and it's of Hong Kong at Faneuil Hall. Hong Kong what? It's a restaurant. It's called Hong Kong and it's at Faneuil Hall, which is a place in Boston. Got it.

Did you not go there? I have no idea what that is. Oh, itaneuil Hall, which is a place in Boston. Got it. Did you not go there? I have no idea what that is. Oh, it's like one of the top touristy spots in Boston. I know you just did a touristy visit there. I did a- There's a lot of shops, markets, restaurants. Did I tell you that? That you did a ghost tour?

Yeah, Dee and I did a ghost tour on that Saturday night. I haven't talked to you since- I don't think we've talked or been in the same room since then. Oh, no. Am I crazy? How was it? It was great. It was a blast.

We learned about all the hanged people in Boston Commons. Was it the one where they meet at the Irish Famine Memorial? No. Oh, that's the one I did. We met at like city, we met by Boston Commons or some government building right there. It was really fun. One star. This place ate all my money and stole my scarf.

No. I went here during a pub crawl, and I figured out why this is the final destination. Because this is where your memory of the previous night drifts away. Scorpion bowls for casual bar drinking, $10 cover for upstairs dancing, obnoxious thug bros lining the wall like so much wallpaper. I'm glad I was previously shithouse fucked in half from the other seven bars

beforehand, so I don't remember even half of the total skeeziness. I even met a few nice girls there. Nonetheless, I will paraphrase Star Wars here. Quote, you will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the pit of Hong Kong Restaurant, the nesting place of the all-powerful Scorpion Bowl. In the Hong Kong,

you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years. Was gonna give two stars, but my

scarf was stolen here. No good. Don't go. Jesus. I like how they're like, my scarf was stolen and they said, I go jesus i like how they're like my scarf was stolen and they said i was so shit face i don't remember the whole night yeah yeah okay someone

stole your scarf okay whatever you say as if they want you there when you're that shit face either you know like i'm sure they want their you know i don't know they probably were like this person's being can i tell you something they don't want you something? They don't want your scarf. They also don't want your scarf, Drew. It probably smells so gross. This felt like classic Yelp. Like, this felt early. What year was this? It was 2007.

Wow. I was going to guess like 2011. That's 2007. Wow. We were wow. We were wow. We were wow, people. This is a review of the Harford Endoscopy Center, which I thought was fitting.

What? Because I just got a colonoscopy. Uh-oh. Like, I got my, okay, this is, I just don't think they do this at the endoscopy center, but I'm like, they, like like amputated your foot so you lost a sock or something? I don't, can I be honest? I don't think that's what's gonna happen. I don't know what, what. I don't get it.

So maybe, I don't know. I won't, so. Okay. It's by Debra. One star. Very, very disappointing. And now I am afraid to get another colonoscopy with them in the future.

They made me copay over $300 on day of my procedure, even though I have a health reimbursable account with my health insurance. colonoscopy with them in the future. They made me copay over $300 on day of my procedure, even though I have a health reimbursable account with my health insurance. GI doctor had me sent to ER by ambulance after procedure and the endoscopy center just stinks in communication. They lost my sock after they're luring me with green pair of socks as I should have just passed on that. Oh, so they made you wear hospital socks and then they lost your sock.

I weirdly, i can't believe i guessed that it was a sock here i was just kind of joking i know but it literally was i was literally was itching to read it because i was like how did you know i didn't i didn't but also like the grippy socks yeah yeah but also i like that it said they lost my sock so it's like just one just one i the challenge was one item of clothing, so I feel like... That actually fits better. Like, I would have accepted it if it were two socks, but like...

But you got grippy socks, and those are the best. Yeah, I'm like, for me, that would be an upgrade from any sock I own. Definitely. Yeah. Now waiting for insurance to process claims to see if both endoscopy and gastroenterology associates should reimburse me. I do not...

Probably for the socks. I do not trust the endoscopy center in returning my clothing after procedure. Sorry, I won't be using this again for future colorectal exams. End of review. Colorectal? That's one way to say it. Geez. I mean, dinner-versed for using that word around me, reviewer. Geez. Colorectal. Colorectal.'s one way to say it jeez i mean dinner first for using that word around me

reviewer jeez colorectal apparently know her uh we have fun we have fun this is from v she her uh and the title is and this is where a pattern emergence emergence oh my god emergency this is where a pattern emerges. The title of this TripAdvisor review is Stole My Scarf. Avoid at all costs. Uh-oh. Didn't you just read this? I know, right? It's a restaurant or a bar, actually, I think.

Visited here late last night and decided against eating there due to the lack of service and the tacky interior. We left after two drinks and requested the removal of the service charge, and rightfully so. Wait, maybe they were like, oh, okay, then we'll take your scarf as paid. I don't know. The staff here do not understand what hospitality is. Tourists are cannon fodder, and it's plain to see in their prices, dishes, and service.

This morning, I noticed I'd left my red cashmere scarf a gift from my late grandmother we returned at lunchtime and the confrontational staff said they had seen the red scarf sarcastically complimented its look and feel and asked us to return in the evening because the manager must have misplaced it okay i feel like you're reading into it like yeah, a red cashmere scarf, I feel like they weren't like, looked pretty nice. It's just a bizarre thing to be like, they were so sarcastic about it.

We returned and there was no sign of the scarf. The same waitress behind the counter was unhelpful, dismissive, and had posture of a person who couldn't give a dank. They just described me. That's right. What? And I will say, V, when she wrote this email in,

said, I hope you enjoy. If not, I couldn't give a dank. I love it. Okay, where are we? Dank. Right, right. How could I forget? She had posture of a person who couldn't give a dank.

She shouldn't be working there. Although maybe she should after you described her tacky and shitty effects. I know, you're like, this place sucks. They, what? Give her a raise. Do yourself a favor and dine elsewhere. P.S. The positive reviews are by people who were offered a Limoncello shot should they do so. Which like, fuck yeah.

That's funny. I would give, for like just anything free i will do a five-star review i would do i have zero ethics when income unless it's like something bad but i've done like check-ins like yelp check-ins for things like at uh at um nail salons used to do that oh gosh the one that was so perfect because it was i forget what i got for it might have been like fucking champagne or some shit. It was at Huntington Gardens, the tea room. What the F?

You got some special thing if you checked in on Yelp. And I was like, that's easy. Like, absolutely. I got like $4 off. Yeah. I mean, that shit was overpriced. I only went. It was like for a special occasion thing. But anyway, yeah.

It was like for a special occasion thing. But anyway, yeah. The one I don't like is when like leasing offices and stuff. They have a lot of deals. That should be illegal. That shit should be illegal because like they should just fucking, it's, I don't know. That's ridiculous. And then when it's like, oh, you could win a month of free rent. It's like.

It's so fucked. That is shady as fuck. Like that is the shadiest shit. And I'm sure that probably is technically illegal. And like, honestly, the thing is with Like that is the shadiest. I'm sure that is technically illegal. And like, honestly, the thing is with a restaurant is generally like, OK, that is not a Limoncello shot is not enough to like, like clearly like sway if you have a bad experience. Like if they stole your scarf and gave you a Limoncello shot, I don't think you should be required to post a five star review. But like, that's not what happened. Yeah. OK, so this is from Olivia, the same Olivia who sent the reviews I used for the Topgolf portion.

And this is a review of Cedar Point. This is my last review, and it's actually a positive review. It's a positive review. It's a four-star, so we can use a positive music but it is harrowing okay oh dear god i know oh cedar point harrowing losing an article of clothing i'm already terrified so many directions you know now that i all of those pieces were separate in my brain once they all converged i did not like like it. Yeah. Brain's not happy. I'm nervous.

We zoomed out and your face was like, oh no. Oh no reaction on the help. Oh no. Oh no. This is what that reaction was made for, this review. Okay, okay. Four stars by Levi. I recently visited Cedar Point with my wife and had a mixed experience.

On one hand, the park's attractions and rides were thrilling and exciting, and there were plenty of options for both thrill-seekers and families. The park's dining options were also varied and delicious, with something for everyone. However, our visit was marred by some unexpected rough weather, which unfortunately caused my wife to lose her Gucci slides in a puddle. The park staff... Is that what was harrowing? Oh my god.

I had this whole thing built up in my head. Not the Gucci slides! In a puddle? Was it that deep? They're just gone? I don't understand how they're lost. Zero idea. Was the puddle actually a pool? Are you confused?

I don't know. People in inner tubes going through this puddle. And we lost Gucci slides. And one of them grabbed up my Gucci slides and said, whee. Like, what? Which unfortunately caused my wife to lose her Gucci slides in a puddle. The park staff were helpful in trying to locate the lost item, but unfortunately it was never found. The park staff were helpful in trying to locate the lost item, but unfortunately it was never found.

This was a frustrating and stressful experience, and it did impact our overall enjoyment of the park. Despite this setback, we still had a good time at Cedar Park, and we would recommend it to others. We just advise visitors to be prepared for any weather conditions and to keep a close eye on their belongings. weather conditions and to keep a close eye on their belongings overall cedar point is a great destination for anyone looking for a fun and exciting day out end of review and then it says visited on weekday wait time 30 to 60 minutes reservation recommended yes price for adult entry 31 oh that was a lot and a pair of guc slides. That's my addition. That's my addendum. I'm adding an addendum. $31 plus. Half the cost of Gucci slides.

How much is a... I was literally about to Google it. I have no idea, but probably... Nope. Definitely more than I'm willing to spend on... Probably. Nope. Pretty much most things. So it depends.

Oh, there's the platform slide, a beige sandal type that doesn't look like... When I think slides, I think like flip-flops, right? Yeah, like an Adidas slide. They range from like 400 to 700. Dear Lord. Or 750. Oh, they have like Birkenstock looking ones. Can I be honest?

I'm shocked that they gave four stars. Because, like, I'm not saying they had any room to give a negative review. But I'm just, usually, in our experience. I mean, the guy lost his scarf at a restaurant. And was, like, one star. Yeah, no, I'm with you. I think, the way reviewers are, I'm surprised they didn't freak out more. But I still don't understand how this is physically possible. How do you lose a Gucci slide in a puddle?

I wonder if you step in it and it falls off. Yeah, and then you go to the puddle and grab it. I don't understand. I don't know if they're running in a crowd. That doesn't make sense. Literally, I don't understand. I don't know if, like, they're running in a crowd. That doesn't make sense. No, like, literally, I can't come up with a single... It said the weather caused...

It got swept away, maybe? Oh, maybe there was a... But, like, where would it go? The lazy river. But where would it go? All streams lead to the lazy river. So true. So true.

That's so true. But imagine you're a teenage employee and you're in charge of at the end of the day going through and like um clearing out all the filters of all those band-aids and shit you're like band-aids band-aids and then you're like gucci slide you know i love how in your example they don't see the gucci slide the giant they just see all these little band-aids they're like oh wait what's this giant thing right next to the band-aids. Do you know how many band-aids it's coming in? They're like, oh wait, what's this giant thing right next to the band-aid? 400 band-aids over this Gucci slide, okay? It took them a lot. Oh, that makes more sense. They had to remove all the band-aids to find it. Yeah, I'm really trying to picture this. I've never spent that amount of money on an item of

clothing except my wedding dress. But if I lost that in a puddle, I feel like it'd be my own fault. Yeah, no. I had a weird sneaker obsession, and I still didn't spend that kind of money on shoes. And I'm not blaming anyone for doing it. Not my business. And that's the thing. Buy whatever you want. I don't care if you pay that money. I just would advise maybe if you are one who owns $700 shoes, maybe don't wear them to Cedar Park. Because especially if they're slides, if you're on a roller coaster, that shit's going to fall off. Yeah, no. That's where I thought we were going.

It feels like a weird move here to do but maybe they're at the you're right maybe you're there at the water park section and maybe those are i don't know but i would if i own those i don't think i okay i wouldn't wear them i don't wear flip-flop type things so i i'm a bad example but like yeah at cedar point i don't know it seems weird i just feel like you'd notice immediately if you lost it. You would think. Wait, maybe they dropped it? Oh. Like maybe they were careful. Oh, so they weren't like wear, they would wear them by the water and then they took

them off for leaving? But why would the puddle have anything to do with it? Like, yeah, how would they know it was dropped in a puddle? If they couldn't find it. Yeah. This is bizarre. I know. I'm still, I will never get over this.

Comment below. Comment below. Comment below. What kind of Gucci slide you've lost in a puddle and how it happened because I'm really confused. Okay, that's all I've got. That was great. That was a really fun one. That was a fun challenge. That was a fun one.

Thank you to everybody who wrote in. Even if your reviews did not get read, do not worry. They are in a safe place. We do not delete them. Yep. They might be used. Actually, I've recently found some old reviews that were sent in for other themes

that I've just put in my little folder to have, you know, for whenever. For a rainy day. For a rainy day. A puddly day. When I'm wearing my slides. Perfect. And I need to be cheered up because I lost one.

Yeah. So. Speaking of Gucci slides, the Gucci X Beach Shoe Sandy merch is now live. That's right. At beachshoesandy.store. Could you imagine? Corpses be Gucci. Corpses be Gucci.

We literally did do that. I know, we did do that. I mean, in our heads. Yeah, I was going to say, someone did make an art art. Imagination. Yeah, we did never make any merch. It's weird. They won't email me back and

then every time i email them it says like you may like it like mail like my mail gets returned so one of these days interesting how that works get back to me oh one day all righty today's not that day but still beach shoesandy.store is our new storefront so enjoy it everyone please you could probably buy a lot of things for the price of a gu slides set. A pair of Gucci slides. Yeah. Yeah. I would hope so. Yeah. And you should probably do it also. Okay. Bye. Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet is a Forever Dog production hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White.

Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Stilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.