Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 270: Reviews of Moving Companies

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

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This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal, probably. So when you need

to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's gotta be KD. When you gotta do you, it's gotta be KD. Shop now. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Tuesday and Andy Water 2.1, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Andy. I'm Xtine. Welcome to episode 270.

Yeah, it's reviews of moving companies, which... Oh! I know. I just got it. I put it in the poll because of this. And it got... people liked it. They didn't know why I put it there the poll because of this. Oh. And it got, people liked it. They didn't know why I put it there. But it's because I'm moving. So I'm, the time this comes out, I'll be a week in, no, a couple weeks into my life,

new life in New York City. As we record this, he leaves in like three days. Yeah, it's a lot. Which is slightly devastating, but also very exciting. Zandy, where are you moving to? Timbuktu? Yemen? New York. Queens. New York, New York. Moving to Queens. Wow. three days yeah it's a lot it's just slightly devastating but also very exciting zandy where are you moving to timbuktu yemen new york new york moving to queens wow big day yeah so it's gonna be a lot but it's gonna be exciting so i'm like can't wait gonna gonna be closer to d which is the best part of it and then um also get to live in a bigger city again listen to that t swift

song and it'll be like personal. Totally. I'm going to listen to it all the time. I could never get sick of that song. I listen to it when I go to New York and then I pretend like I live there, but I don't. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fun thing to do.

You get the real deal. Yeah. And yeah, I'm going to be pursuing my acting a little more too, taking classes and hopefully getting some auditions and stuff. And then, uh, yeah. Oh, and streaming. I then, yeah. Streaming. Streaming. I'm picking up streaming again for multiple reasons.

One, health insurance is very expensive. No. Which I found that true in Ohio, but in New York, it's even more expensive somehow, like 50% more. So I'm like, you know what? Let me try to be consistent about my streaming and see if I can actually earn an income that I deserve from it by providing actual content. Well, you did offer to teach me OBS, so maybe I'll pay you for that. Yeah, you better. I might pay you for that.

But yeah, no, I'm going to be streaming regularly and I already have a schedule out for February, like the full month I've scheduled out. I'm going to do some random days that aren't listed as well and I'll announce those on my Discord. But yeah, you can find that at twitch.tv slash zandy schieffer that's so cool that you have your own discord yeah that's the the hog pen what does it feel like it feels very normal do you feel weird that you like go in there and you're like the overlord no because they don't view me that way oh good i don't think i'm in there i should know but like i feel like I get as much shit as anyone else in that thing. You probably get more. Yeah.

That's why I stay away. Yeah. Just kidding. I don't. And you're thrown high above the peasants. Totally. Sometimes he makes me carry around one of those like sedan, like things on my shoulders where you sit on it.

But no one's on the other side. So it's this dragon behind you. Right. Yeah. Because no one else would agree to it. Well, I make you get off and carry the other side. Oh, okay. Because I'm like, well, somebody needs to on it. But no one's on the other side. So it's this dragon behind you. Right. Because no one else would agree to it. Well, I make you get off and carry the other side. Oh, okay. Because I'm like, well, somebody needs to carry it. We don't have another person.

So yeah. So that's why, part of why we're doing moving company. So it's relevant. I swear. I literally didn't get it until we hit record. I, meanwhile, also have an announcement and it's that I have a bone to pick with you people. While we're on the subject of. Only one's that I have a bone to pick with you people. Um, while we're on the subject of, um, Only one?

What? Only one bone to pick? Only, We should have many. Only one bone for, And they should have many back. Oh, they do. Don't, don't, don't doubt that ever.

They do. But what is this about? Alexander. This is news to me. Yeah, I'll show you. The other day I went into our inbox to look at emails from Patreon folks who were like submitting reviews. And I noticed this strange email that came in on January 15th. That's called Guide to Training Chihuahua's Essential Tips.

And I thought, why does this ring so familiar? So I started to type Chihuahua into our inbox. And we have been subscribed to some sort of Chihuahua mailing list. Oh, that is very frequent. Since January 10th, we've gotten top of chihuahua mailing list. Oh, that is very frequent. Since January 10th, we've gotten top 10 chihuahua fashion trends, the ultimate guide to eco-friendly accessories for your chihuahua, seven proven methods to keep chihuahuas healthy and happy. We don't own a chihuahua.

And for reference, this was, this was, this, we're recording this January 18th. Oh yeah, so in the last eight days. So this is like about a week. Or about a week, yeah. And so it says Justin Anderson, who is the author on Medium of all these articles. So I don't know if like he subscribed to this. I feel like that would be odd. That would be strange. I kind of doubt that. I'm going to give, give, give, who, Joshua is it? Justin, the benefit of the doubt. Give Justin the benefit of the doubt i agree i i just couldn't figure out because like i subscribe to medium on my own email but i never like i have very specific interests that come through not chihuahuas

unrelated so somebody must have signed us up for this um which has been true in the past for dating sites we've gotten so many and it's like hey sandy the e-harmony sandy and then it won't let us delete it because it's like what's your password i'm like this is not real and it's like they can they do they even, I guess they can access their account, but they can't get any of the emails. It's so weird. Justin Anderson is described as a Chihuahua influencer.

I kind of love that. I do too. And I'm like, but who is doing this? I don't understand. I would like to say, shout out Chihuahuas. I love Chihuahuas. I do too. And that's the other thing is like,

I don't, I have a bone to pick. See what I what i did there now yeah i said the same thing you said earlier yeah but see now how how it's funny because it's a bone oh i i just was i was like somebody i see what you're doing somebody because there are so many i mean that's kind of funny it's just never ending whoever it is got their wish we're talking about chihuahuas way too much on on an episode about moving and honestly justin if that is you um i'm really flattered respect honestly respect massive respect we should also just start subscribing people to our shit without telling them that could be fun yeah is that i feel like there's their ethical implications that's fair um for us but for a thing about it seems harmless about chihuahuas yep i don't know that feels that feels ethically okay so that's what i wanted to throw out there is who's done this and and don't

don't do don't get an idea in your head if you're out there and you're like oh wait they should probably also learn about rottweiler tricks no no stop it because we have enough we have so many emails to dig through look i there's a reason i turned off the notification i turned you did unsubscribe unsubscribed i took it off of my phone yeah your the gmail yeah which is gmail which is smart like i get them and i tell you if anything like really urgent comes in but it really doesn't seem to um and unless it's a chihuahua thing then i immediately send it across uh but yeah i don't know who's done this but i see you is what i'm trying to say um and i also see you all the people who had dreams about us recently oh yeah yeah yeah that was i had the most wonderful time reading those um so dreams about any of you it's weird maybe you do and you just don't know that

would be weird tonight you're gonna dream about justin and his chihuahua and you're gonna be like wait a minute i hope so me too justin see you tonight see you later um anyway anyway let's try to talk about something else moving companies well i've got a review here oh moving company excellent that's what we do this is zero max moving and storage in brooklyn new york is this your company no we're moving ourselves oh yeah that's right okay to be fair a u-haul with the rents with the mom and the stepdad and the stepdad has the trailer and all that is he bringing a little sister no so we just the u-haul oh u-haul okay uh three of us but he has ratchet straps.

Oh, he's got it all. He's got it covered. He's a stepdad. I'm very, very, very fortunate to have him to help me. He's moved us countless times. He gets excited about it. Oh, and he loves it. He pulled out his packing, or sorry, his like tape machine.

Oh. And he's like, I'll get my tape machine. And in my head, I'm like, is this like some sort of weird, like, like a. A cassette recorder? Like some sort of, yeah, like some old like cassette thing um and he brings up this industrial and literally from his old company this industrial tape machine that you'd use for packing and you like pull a lever and it pulls out this like brown like very like like box tape for boxes and it like measures out based on the however far you go and then you push it back it cuts it

and then it's like really handy meanwhile i'm like i just fold them and then put books in it and then i pick it up and they all fall out yeah yeah yeah and he like he's like oh how do you tape it you tape one on the bottom uh and then the two sides on the bottom and then one on the inside of the box once the bottom's there you tape one on the inside of the box but it doesn't collapse yeah and it's like and he's like and then you should be good to go that man jesus he i don't know what we do he is a gift so anyway here's a three-star review of a moving company that i'm not using they were taking my stuff to the wrong apartment but they were nice i gave them a bottle of water each and everything was good it was my first time using them. End of review. Oh my God.

What? Can you imagine? They're like, I gave them a bottle of water from the fridge of the apartment that is not mine. I don't know whose place this was, but yeah. I live here now, I guess. Because this is my new place. It felt, yeah, it felt like, I was like, did that get resolved? We didn't get much resolution there.

It reminded me of like, well, Elta said something, I think in one of the emails that that was like you just kind of have to look for like unusual things when you're reading because so many negative reviews of moving companies are just like yep they like lost something broke something too expensive whatever but like if you find the weird shit like they moved it to a different apartment that's when you find the the good stuff and you but you're you and elta are so right the fucking bad ones some of them were just so bad i it was a struggle it was like depressing this topic was really like anxious reading all of this when i'm moving in less than a week so i brought a lot well i brought some wild ones that like presumably won't be an issue for you because oh it's our stepdad but who knows so

this is um a one-star review this was sent in by abby and it's of a company called piece of cake moving and storage i mean you know cutesy name um i feel like if i'm thinking of the right one they have like the where is it located um do you know let me find out because i new york yeah i've seen those trucks i think they have these like pink oh yeah oh yeah it's pink look at this oh my god they so it's pink. Look at this. Oh my God. So it's like a name, like a, it's like two sons and a father, whatever the fuck. But I've seen their truck and it's like kind of a notorious thing because they managed to park in the worst spots for pedestrians. And it's just like hot magenta pink.

And granted, New York parking is tough no matter, you know, like it's a shitty place. Feels like a free-for-all. Which is why I'm very glad to be selling my car and getting to live in a place where, that while has probably way too many cars, isn't car-centric, fully car-centric. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, I know about that place. Okay, well, it reminds me of like college hunks hauling, like where you're like, oh, I've seen those around, you know, I've never used it, but I've seen them. You see those pods.

I see those pods. those around you know i've never used it but i've seen them but you see those pods i see those pods i guess that's still a thing but i feel like am i crazy or was that like a a big thing for like a moment pods like but why like why did i know about pods when i was i think in high school or something like i feel like pods kind of maybe it was just new maybe it was just the name was a novel idea so catchy maybe but like i feel like it's a novel idea. I don't know if they were doing that before as much where it's like- Like a mobile storage unit. I think you get a storage unit, yeah, that you can just put in front of your house and then ship.

It's pretty genius. I guess, yeah. Here's a one-star review by Nina. I am not sure who these people are writing such high-rated reviews. My experience with Piece of Cake was an absolute nightmare. And there are plenty of complaints against them in the Better Business Bureau. One of the other moving companies had warned me that they use freelancers and you cannot be sure of who comes to fix your stuff.

My apartment looks like it was burgled. I asked for a full unpacking service. They have thrown everything all over the place. The guys left for two hours in between the job and when they came back they just started throwing things around. Pots are separated from lids and thrown in random drawers. They just emptied everything onto my kitchen counters. Toilet paper rolls are thrown all around the house. I brought them iced tea, which they drank, and threw the bottle on my bed. Shoes are unpacked and kept all over in different rooms and under desks my expensive clothes are rolled up in the corners

my daughter couldn't find clothes to sleep in we've slept slash barely slept in pajamas I am a single brown woman sorry wait we've slept barely and I can't find any clothes to sleep in other than my pajamas yeah that part's weird. I'm confused by that.

Maybe they meant we've barely slept in pajamas. Like we've barely slept in pajamas, only normal clothes, street clothes. I have no idea. We've slept slash barely slept. So in my mind, it was like, oh, we've slept. Well, actually barely slept because maybe they're losing sleep over this. Yeah. You know what?

I don't know. Probably not worth analyzing too much huh check the corners i heard that that's where they keep the clothes i am a single brown woman making it work in new york working full time and these boys just fled from the scene in a flash save yourself some trouble feel free to write me and then inserted their email address i'll send you more footage of how my place looks. I'm so tempted. Yeah, I know, right? I want to know. I'm like, just send me photos. This was written like two months ago.

Oh, wow. So, you know, it's still, they still have the photographic evidence. I mean, not that I need proof. I just am so struck by this description. It sounds like, like raccoons got in. Yeah, it sounds like no. There's like trash on the bed. There's like no respect for your space or belongings.

Random shit in drawers, which is kind of hilarious. like no there's like trash on the bed there's not no respect for your space or belongings random shit in drawers which is kind of hilarious i i don't think i ended up bringing anything oh no i have my next one is actually from this place um and it's just my review is just one of the wild things and wasn't even the wildest but the reason they were so incredibly negative overall that's no no the one i have next but like hearing yours i was like yeah that's pretty bad but like i've read the worst horror story oh some of them were like all of my belongings got lost forever and i'll never get them back and i'm like it's like 10 nightmare different reviews in a row talking about how they stole or like they flooded my house or stuff they drove into my car.

That's crazy. I mean, just stuff where you're like, this is bad. And like the purported extortion for tips. And for like where someone, apparently there was one where this guy was trying to move out. And the mover said, I'm not moving that bed unless you give me 20 tip of the whole thing oh my god and so they said no and eventually got him to move it but then they brought the disassembled bed to the new place and said i'm not bringing it in assembling it unless you give me oh my god and it was and the reason i say that is only because I saw like so many reviews from this same company talking about that, about how they like weren't going to do the work.

Or they were also, a lot of them were quoted like 400 some dollars. And then the day of they were like, oh, this is going to be an extra 200, an extra 200. Oh, this is going to be, so like where the total will be over a thousand dollars more than what they were originally quoted. Because they'd be like, oh, there are stairs here. They're like, yeah, I told you we told you it's just it gets terrifying i mean you think that like i assume most not most but like probably good good chunk of people who are over the age of i don't know 23 have like looked into or used movers if you've if you've i mean maybe not but i only did from la because like with covid i was like i can't do this all myself i was leaving my entire life in la behind and so i hired movers and while

it was expensive and like that was the biggest thing that i didn't like but honestly it all went so smooth and i'm reading these reviews now and i'm like thank god i didn't have a bad experience i had a great time i remember it was like fine when i used it but also i remember budgeting like 50 more than the estimate because i was like i don't know what's gonna happen here but thankfully i didn't have anything bad like that that's oh yeah i definitely had some chill and so i had one where they showed up and they were like well there's trees on your street so we can't park and i was like what do you mean and they're like well when we looked on google maps it didn't look like there was such low hanging trees and now there are low hanging trees oh my gosh and i was like well i don't know how to fix that

what do you do they had to go get multiple trucks move everything into smaller trucks it was a nightmare it doesn't matter okay this isn't about me. So that's that. Your turn. Well, here's a one-star review of Dumbo moving in storage. I thought you'd like that. I do. Dumbo is a part of New York, which is what I think. Do you know what it means? I'm actually, I'm not 100%. I know like most of the words. I was going to look it up, but Dee would be proud if I could come up with it. It like uh tribeca do you know what that means i did so it's like really fun to find these out i did try tribeca means the triangle below canal street that's crazy and dumbo is i think something

under the manhattan bridge or something overpass uh it says, oh no. Google says a stupid person. Anyway, it's down under the Manhattan Bridge overpass. Yeah. Is that fun? That is fun. I thought you were going to say, and you said that's part of New York. I thought you were going to say it's part of Christine's trauma because it also is. I used to hide that VHS tape under my mattress.

And my dad would always say, where is that wonderful movie that I love so much? And I'm like, you are sick. He would make us watch that. And so then I hid it under my mattress. And when we moved years later, he fell. You started hiding a gun under there. Yeah, in the VHS case. Good times.

Good times. Anyway, here's a one-star review. Dumbo moving in storage. I was disappointed. All the one-star reviews were very pretty like in my from my perspective very valid and terrible and awful experiences um but still no one had the audacity to say yeah dumbo is right a bunch of dumbos or something man they live up to their name there's so many easy it was so easy was so easy. It was right there. And I read, I think I read hundreds of these reviews because they were all so bad.

I'd rather have hired a flying elephant to move my stuff. I mean, listen, I could come up with all sorts of stuff. All these New Yorkers already know what Dumbo means. Because they don't want people to be like, well, you know, it's not, it means a place in New York. You know what I mean? Yeah, like you always do. Here's a one-star review. After asking them for a quote, they proceeded to call me daily, non-stop, and also called my emergency contacts to follow up, which I found extremely unprofessional.

Oh my god! Wait, how do they have emergency contacts? I don't know, but like they probably know. Okay. Wait, wait. I'm just making this up. What was the start of it again? After asking them for a quote.

Okay. So it wasn't even like we use their services. So they had an emergency contact list. Maybe they ask for that so they can follow up. Look, I'm not saying that's definitely why they did it. I don't know anything, but I've read so many things of sketchy practices of moving companies that I'm like, I could absolutely, every little thing, it feels like they're doing, oh, there is one, it might've been this one, I don't know, that people were claiming that they

had them sign a form promising that they won't do a credit card chargeback, which I don't know if that's normal, but it seems super sketchy. What's a credit card charge back which i don't know if that's normal but it seems super sketchy like or uh credit like where you call your credit card company and say like not try whatever it is i don't know like you report the charge yeah and you like you you say like don't you know what i mean yeah reporting a transaction yeah yeah so saying that you can't like like no takebacks it's not a thing. It's like a no refund thing, but specifically saying you cannot reach out to yours. That's so, like, you don't call AMEX about this. Yeah, yeah, literally.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, I don't know if that is a thing, but it felt sketchy. It feels like not legal, even if they make you sign it. You know what I mean? It's like an NDA where it's like sort of real, but like. But if you're doing illegal shit, the NDA doesn't matter. Right, exactly. It doesn't matter anymore. But if you're doing illegal shit, the NDA doesn't matter. Right, exactly. It doesn't matter anymore.

Well, speaking of two men in a truck, which I called, oh, I was confusing all my sons because I said two sons and a father moving earlier. That's not right. It's two men in a truck or all my sons. I think there's some. Oh, all my, is that what it is? There's one called all my sons. Oh, okay.

And one called two men in a truck. There's probably one called everything. I mean, there's one called Dumbo. That sounds like that would be like a Mormon thing in my head. All my sons. Because I don't know, I just feel like they have a lot of sons. Probably there.

Did you notice all the like Christian moving companies? Oh yeah. I had never. What is that about? Literally. I think someone emailed us one. I don't know if I ended up using it.

It might be in my coming up. And that was basically was the shocking thing that those exist. I had no idea. It feels like such a niche world of Christian movers, but apparently it's a thing.

And they don't even get better reviews than the regular movers. Yeah. Okay. So this is Two Men in a Truck. This is a three-star review by Matthew. And this was sent in by Elta. Honestly, I was a little disappointed with the experience. And for 50% of the team, they were amazing, and I couldn't have asked for more.

We were moving from our old house one and a half hours away and were told they would arrive between 8 and 8.15 so we left early to be back there for them to get called around 8.20 saying they had just left their depot and would be another hour. No biggie but a little annoying. The three main guys working were clearly on a mission to do everything quickly and efficiently. Sadly for the others we kept having to repeat ourselves on what was to be taken. They still brought a bunch of stuff we didn't ask to.

They were often sitting in rooms and even vaping in my house. In and around my 10-year-old child. I think what gets me is the in and around my 10-year-old child. I just was like, why are you saying it like that? That's not what you should be saying. In and around

my 10-year-old child. I'm going to pretend that's just blowing the smoke. I'm just imagining that's blowing the smoke in their face. That's what I thought. Once we were at the new house, after telling the guys that stuff was just to go into the garage and we would sort it from there, I didn't think I would have to explain to them to possibly just stack boxes in any order. Everything was everywhere, with some items even being damaged. Furthermore, we had one mover actually asked to

quote come to our house and smoke weed with us again in and around my children when it when it came up the second time i was like okay this isn't just a typo like you need to stop yeah you don't you just need to pick your words better yeah i think you're you're mistyping that over and over again again in and around my children we do not condone or allow any smoking in our home nor do we want that even put in our kids heads that is bizarre that's insane when they say children like there is a 10 year old here it's not like they're all teenagers or something that's crazy it was just wildly unprofessional and despite my appearance i myself am professional in situations that require them which i don't know what that means end of review but uh wow basically there was an owner response and it just said like hey this is not what we like to hear and this is not what we

train them to do please call me immediately yeah um good i guess i guess wow the fact that it's a three star and they were like i don't know it. It was just kind of a weird, weird time. That's how I felt about my move. Like three stars. Like, you know what? Like they did a job. Could have been so much worse. To an extent.

And the job got done. Yeah. The job got done. Right. And it like, they didn't get, they didn't like extort me for some crazy amount, but like it was uncomfortable and. Yeah. Inappropriate.

So yeah, that's that. Okay. Well, that's all. That. Well, that's all. That's something. My next one is. Fathers in a truck? Fathers in a truck. Yeah.

What is wrong with me? Three fathers. Two men in a truck. Three fathers. The father, son, Holy Spirit in a truck. The Holy Quadra. What's a Trinity, but a quadrupy? Quadraty.

Quadraty. The Holy Quadraty. It's called a rectangle. No, I don't know. Rompus. What is a Trinity, but four? What's a Trinity, but two? Quadraty. Quadraty. The holy quadraty. It's called a rectangle. No, I don't know. Rompus? What is a trinity but four? What's a trinity but two? That is called.

The holy bi. That's called a ray. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Well, that's one. A ray isn't that one point. Yeah, I know that.

With a line out or something. Not a line, but a segment. No. Fuck. Don't. I don't hate this. I hate this. hate this i hate what we're talking about let's keep talking here's a one one star review this was sent in by uh abby

uh this is of towel movers um um and this is located in the salt lake city area here we go here's a one star review and then uh an owner response so i'm gonna read the one-star review terrible service they did the move for my friend and left her stuff in the driveway in a heap pushed her appliances over and left 100 unprofessional 100 dishonest do not use end of review dude the crazy part is like it sounds like more work to push over it than to just leave it alone. Like, what happened that the appliances got pushed over? It feels like that takes a lot of work. There was some sort of like confrontation happening.

Kerfuffle with the washing machine? I don't know. But here's the owner response. It's a lot. This is going to be hard for me to get through. So just like with no punctuation. Gotcha. It's a lot. This is going to be hard for me to get through. Just like with no punctuation. Gotcha.

And a lot of caps and a lot of words that probably shouldn't be there. A lot of no caps. A lot of words that should be there. Excuse me? A lot of no caps. Why are you dabbing? I don't know. It feels like you're supposed to do that when you say no cap. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I see now. I thought, oh, man. Okay. I didn't know you were aware of that slang. mean clearly you don't know what it is i'm aware enough you're at least aware which is which is troubling are you calling are you calling them you're like setting the alarm sending the alarm out i'm sending this person your way ready this business owner great you talking about your tender friend karen that says you're weirdo, LOL? Karen hired Tao Movers, same day service, when three other moving companies cancelled on Karen.

Hmm, wonder why? When I talked with Karen, she needs two movers, two hours, then change. She said she's truckload and unload, and also needed haul away, very heavy commercial refrigerator, and some more trash after everything was done. I gave Karen our invoice bill. She refused to pay the total amount, instead paid half. So we kindly unload the refrigerator and trash with her knowing it wasn't not all right with us. She need hearing from my attorney about this matter.

Good day. End of review. Oh, no. So when you get into it, it like this this business owner does have if if all of that is correct does have a a pretty solid like to stand on saying that that this person with the moving um didn't give like a fair uh estimate or tell actually tell what they wanted and like hauled a commercial commercial refrigerator like things like that um and so yeah and so they just left it there instead of like loading it back

in because did karen really call her friend weird because that's hilarious yes so that's i think the maybe funniest part for sure karen that says you're weirdo lol like the friend is like trying to like get like revenge on karen's behalf and then finds out like wait a minute i just wish the original review was edited be like after after the revelation yeah i am no longer on my friend's side i apologize karen is in the wrong and leave her commercial refrigerator tipped over and she doesn't deserve it to be right side up dude that's crazy so weirdo i love that like the idea that they're gonna call their lawyers and be like listen

karen called her friend a fucking weirdo like what oh boy okay this episode is brought to you by secret secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking.

Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avion points on debit purchases and so so much more unlock more perks for less with rbc vantage conditions apply offer ends june 30th 2024 new eligible clients only complete criteria by august 30th 2024 visit rbc.com student 100 this is from brad he him who started the email with another day another dollar a zan man and x-teen and it feels like he's an undercover cop trying way too hard like me no cap no cap um i so the zan man man is good i've so my at my uh, there's a sign in like tablet type thing. And I signed in and, uh, well, okay.

First of all, I didn't use it for six months and that, because I didn't notice it. And then my therapist mentioned it and I was like, or no, I saw it one day, like six months in, I was like, was that always there? That's the most Christine thing ever. And my therapist was like, yeah. I was like, did you want me to do that? And they were like, like, you don't have to, like, you're usually sitting in the same spot in the lobby i can like look out and see if you're there but like yeah like i would use like but no it was like not a big deal at all but then i started

doing it and i would start changing my name so i did uh the zan man i literally put that in once and then i yesterday i did mr zand man well i, I was going to. Yes. That was my joke. I was going to say Mr. Zandman. Yes. I hate it. Okay. This is for Zandman on XT. Having moved across the country multiple times, packing all our belongings in the car along with a cat and dog, which I did too. And I vlogged it and then never shared it.

Do you remember when I vlogged it? Remember when I had a brief like month long phase where I was like, I'm going to vlog things. Did you vlog? On my move with Juniper and Gio and geo like the whole thing i don't really remember that it was during covid though but i like filmed the entire thing yeah poor blaze even i know poor me i sat in the back with juniper god help me he still hasn't forgiven me um but so i did this too brad yeah that vlog would just be juniper. It literally is him screaming and pooping on me, which I thought maybe this would be good content. That's terrible. Yeah, I don't know.

And then he wrote, and I can honestly say that was a better experience than these people had with moving companies. And I will agree. Like the actual me driving three days, four days with a dog and a cat during COVID, like ghost towns, was better than a lot of these shit that I'm reading. So this is from Worldwide Movers Inc. in Fairbanks, Alaska. And it's a one-star review. Worldwide. In Fairbanks, Alaska. I'm sorry.

No offense, Fairbanks, Alaska, but I feel like it's not a place that you typically access the rest of the world from. Yeah. I feel like it's fairly remote. I feel like it takes more effort to access than most places on the planet. Which is why these guys are that impressive. Maybe that's it.

Worldwide. Yeah, that's a sign of how bad they are. They don't move anybody within Alaska. They're like, you're either going to the mainland, you're either going to the continental United States, or we're not moving you. Or like the other side of the world or like china maybe we'll take you there um so this is a one-star review by tina

they wrapped their own trash in packing paper and packed it into our boxes that's hilarious crazy remember we use movers in la do you remember that and we like we like we're googling like do we buy themling like, do we buy them lunch? Oh yeah. And we bought them McDonald's. I went to McDonald's and they were like, we're not open for lunch yet. Cause I like ordered lunch food and they were like, so I waited in the McDonald's parking lot until like 11. You were like texting me.

I was looking out the blinds. Like they're still here. Cause I asked what they wanted. They're like, I don't know, Big Macs or something. So I went to get Big Macs and McDonald's. I was like, we don't do that yet. And I didn't know there was a time thing. I don't know, Big Macs or something. So I went to get Big Macs and McDonald's. I was like, we don't do that yet. And I didn't know there was a time thing. I don't know.

That was, this is how like, we're so socially inept that like even together we're like Googling, do we buy them hamburgers? Like we were so confused. And I was like looking through the blinds and like hiding. It was bad. I, then for my person, my move when I did it solo with my move, I just was like,

I'm just going to give them a fat tip. That's what I do. Because otherwise I'm going to just be nervous that they're not happy or that like, whatever. Because I didn't really have anything for them. It was COVID. It was a weird time. I don't know. I didn't know what to get them for food.

A bottle of iced tea to chuck into your bedding. So the, well, this reminds me really quick. My LA move, the only thing, it wasn't even a bad thing, but I kind of like had things still set up a little bit and they were helping a lot, like undo everything, like, and make sure that like everything got packed away. Oh,

that's nice. And they like dump my drawers out and things like that. And they like sorted, they were like a bunch of lighters, um, which I didn't even smoke pot. I was like, lighters?

I had all these lighters though from the, over the years. And they were like, we can't just pack these. And I was like, oh, okay. And they just left like, lighters? So I had all these lighters though from the, over the years and they were like, we can't just pack these and I was like, oh, okay. And they just left like 20 lighters

on the counter. What the hell? Did you have like a weird rat that brought you lighters? Like, I'm trying to think of where those all came from. It just kept appearing.

But, anyways, but then, so I was like, oh, just pack everything. Yeah. Like everything you can.

And then I get home and like, I start unpacking and I find like the like the apartment like info sheet that was framed and on the wall did it have like the like emergency exit and like where the fire hydrant was no it was like it was like like numbers to call if certain things go wrong or something in a frame oh my god it was so funny are you gonna hang that in your New York apartment?

No, I probably threw it out. I don't know. Oh God. It was so silly. Anyway, so they packed their trash. So they were like overly concerned, but this one. Which was great. I was like, I didn't, it didn't bother me.

So you have to mail that back to your landlord. Like here's a framed picture of your phone number. Okay. They wrapped their own trash in packing paper and packed it in our boxes. We sat there unpacking boxes with sandwich wrappers and empty Gatorade bottles with taped packing paper around it. What the fuck does that?

That's hilarious. That seems like, again, more work. Why would you wrap paper around an empty Gatorade bottle? That's crazy to me. There's no way they're bored, right? They probably had stuff to do, right? I don't know. I can't imagine

what would compel you instead of just to put it in a trash bag or just leave it on the floor. It's weirder to pack it in my opinion. Yeah, I think my mover,

like, they left some things. Like, so left some trash right in, like, whatever. But, like, that would have been weird to open a box and be like, why is the mover,

why is there trash along with my belongings? To,pping like i wonder if this is nana's vase and then it's like a gatorade bottle wrapped in paper this is nana's vape this is nana's vape this is nana's bong why is it why is it next to all this trash that's an heirloom yeah yeah okay we also have many pieces of original and expensive art that we let them know about as they were packing we asked for it to be packed a certain way and they ignored us they packed an original photo in a glass frame with our flat screen which we didn't know about until we were unpacking and the glass was shattered they also didn't show up until 10 a.m took two hour lunch breaks and wrapped at four which stretched out some very long days in a hotel

for us. So very frustrated. Okay. So that makes me think maybe they were stretching the time if they're wrapping their own trash. I don't know. I don't know. It's odd though. Like what's the benefit?

I mean, I guess like if you're getting paid by the hour, but it seems like. I don't know. I don't know either. I just thought that was so odd. And that was from Brad. Yeah, I did say that. Wow. That's a weird.

That was weird. I like these weird. I love that. That's the thing. It's like if you find the. It's fun to find these weird fucking things that people do. It's just you slosh through a lot of. Insight into human behavior.

Yeah, but like not even insight. You just get like more questions. Like you end up without more clarity with less clarity. My next one. This was sent in by Olivia. This is, this is of Kenway moving and this is in Columbus, Ohio. Okay. Here's a one star review.

If I could leave them zero stars, I would. They damaged so much of my property. They damaged both the house I was moving from and the house I was moving to. They rammed items through the door that should have been taken apart. They took three hours to load the truck because they kept taking breaks. It was the most unprofessional thing I've ever seen. They asked when they could come back and take a shower at my house. They have blocked both my numbers and are refusing to refund me.

They are even still trying to charge my credit card a month later. If anyone has been able to resolve your issues with them, please let me know. They have blocked every number I've tried calling them. Even your emergency contacts? Even the emergency contacts. Maybe that's why they asked. They're like,

we want to block you as far as we possibly can. Another one where I'm reading it and I'm like, another person like complaining about them taking breaks. And then it just turns. Which I'm like, come on. I don't know if I'm on your side about taking breaks because it's probably some heavy shit. Plot twist. Oh, and also they want to take a shower in my house.

I was like, what? I read some weird bathroom ones. Which I'm like, it's kind of funny if it's a really nice shower and maybe as a joke. But I don't know. I will say the guy who so the movers in la fantastic not that we talked that much like i mainly talked to just like the the main guy the foreman is that what you'd call him um the guy who i like um like signed the coordinated with and uh it all went so smooth the movers were really respectful etc like

no no issues there um and then there was a different guy who actually drove the stuff like a couple weeks later and dropped it off in Cincinnati. And that guy was talking because this was April, I think, of 2021. Yeah. April of 2021 ish. yeah april of 2021 ish um and the guy was talking about uh covid and was like talking about how he doesn't like he doesn't isn't vaccinated he's not going to get vaccinated and it was very much like a welcome back to ohio feeling of like i remember you told me that and i was like this in california but it was just like i remember feeling so let down i was like really you couldn't give him like a great first impression moving back.

He's already hesitant about moving back. And now you make him feel. Don't worry, it took me three years before I left again. I know. I didn't do that much damage. If I had known that, I would have been less anxious. But I remember being like, damn it. Like, really, Ohio?

And he was talking about visiting his daughter who's a nurse in Columbus or Cleveland or something. And I don't know what it was. But, and I remember just talking to him and trying to be like, look, like, I think it's, it was a good thing to get, like, I got vaccinated. I told him my side of it, whatever. And we left, it was, it was cordial,

but I'm like, holy fuck. Welcome back. What the fuck is happening? And so that was weird. I'm like, man, these sometimes, the oversharing, the like, like I didn't start that. I promise you, I did not start that conversation.

I think we all know that. So I don't know. I can totally believe that this like weird bathroom thing. There's something about you and me that invites people to give us their hot takes. And I'm like, I don't know what about me says, tell me you don't believe in COVID. But sometimes I'm like. I know what you mean. Man, sometimes I'm like, what about me says like, I would like you to start speaking to me on the airplane about like whatever book you're reading I don't know

I wonder and I wish it weren't the way the way I get a lot of people who are like men like talk to me about like older people that I'd meet like when I was visiting dad in Florida with all his cronies it's not even a guy he knew but this guy that I was talking to and he was just like oh like how they like all the kids these days with their headphones in whatever. And I take my AirPod out like, sorry, what did you say? No, literally. And I'm like, I would absolutely be walking around with my headphones in. Like I do that all the time.

And I didn't say anything because I was like, I don't know this guy. I'm not in the mood. But I'm like, why do you have to complain to me about these? Like as if i'm gonna it's odd as if you're like i'm like i was i'm like 40 years younger do you think it's because we kind of present to quote-unquote adults as like very i feel like we were raised in a way that was like very adult facing like how to behave around adults and how to have manner you know i mean to a detriment in a way but

like i'm not saying that was like a good thing it was just an angle of our parenting was our parents parenting was like how to be respectful and whatever and i wonder if like that comes across differently to older people who are like oh and well finally a youth they can talk to it's still true because like they still talk to me and i sometimes don't even talk back and i just nod my head and like let them talk. Yeah. And just, I'm like, man, yeah, I'm conditioned to just let the old people be old. I guess so.

Anyway. Too bad. Anyway, I love how people listening to this in their AirPods are like, wow. Yeah, they're right. Young people do always have their AirPods in them. Yeah, but, and I'm like, but also this guy, like, I don't know. I don't know too much about him. Like 70 plus.

You know more about him than you should. Old white guy, like whatever. Why do you think anyone should talk to you? Like anyone, they are obligated to like, when you stop and say hi to them on the street, they have any obligation to you. I mean, listen, I just downloaded a book about how women are taught this very different approach to the world of like everyone else gets like the space and you kind of have to give everyone the space and how it's so hard to unlearn that.

So I imagine a guy like a boomer and privileged boomer guy in his 70s probably has learned. Oh, I can get all the space. Let me talk. I almost just like started crying. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I had to do it i definitely had to but yeah i feel like it's just kind of in societal conditioning no that's that's so true i think i haven't started that book yet because i'm reading that one about being danish or whatever

but i'll get there eventually uh and then i'll finally tell you what it's actually about since i'm just talking about my ass right now. No, I've heard that. I think I've heard that a lot of that is like, also, I feel like I've heard that in the context of car-centric cultures. Oh, yeah, sure. Where it's like, in societies where it's like, you've given up so much space to these cars and it's very different. You just feel like they're entitled to it. Yeah, the entitlement. Because that's how the society is structured. Yes. to it yeah that's entitlement how structure is or how this society is structured yes whereas like in denmark where i'm reading a book called living dynastically it's like bicycles and pedestrians

are automatically they're like what do you mean cars would have yeah yeah uh the right of way you know anyway okay this is sorry people i feel like i'm like who wants anyone's hot takes i'm moving in like five days there's a lot going on in my brain Sorry I keep stalling with my fucking hot takes again No I'm enjoying myself Good These next few that I have Let's see oh is it my turn

These are from Brad as well and they're from a company Called Two Movers This is where things get Like off the rails. To the point where I'm like, wow, this is alarming. It's basically one of those services which I made the mistake of using. Be careful out there.

You put your info in. All of a sudden, you're getting 400 calls. It's one of those that matches you with different estimates. But then all of a sudden, they have your phone number. And they never stop calling you. I did that. I still, not anymore, but like up until two years after I moved,

I was still getting calls and I'm like, this was two years ago. Like, obviously I'm not in the market anymore. They're just hoping they got lucky and like caught you at the right time. My lease was ending, right? Like, I don't know. But so it's a third party site.

Basically they connect you with local moving companies and Brad sent us several, but I'll read you this one. This is first. This is from Caitlin or by Caitlin, and it's one star. And the title is Unprofessional and Rude. These people are so rude. I requested more information on pricing, and they emailed me three times and called me to give me a quote. I answered the phone, and they told me it was going to be $900.

So I said I wasn't interested and hung up. I then received a text from the number saying, nice, very nice, like a lady. I am assuming they were offended that I wasn't interested, but that is completely unprofessional. End of review. Oh my gosh. And then I have the rest of them for... There's more of that? Oh, and they just get worse.

It's clearly like the same person who needs to fucking take a seat. Like he needs to relax. He's never going to get any clients this way. Yeah, fucking A. Like you can't just bully people into using your moving service. Unless it's me. You could probably bully me into... I feel like there was a lot of bullying I saw.

You could probably bully me into mostly anything, but... Yeah, that's true. I do that this one is from why do you think i'm sitting here talking into a microphone this one is from mary they she who um who's in the top 0.05 of our listeners whoa i thought you were gonna say like some top google guide local guide no no no not that impressive um but no so cool i i kind of shut down during a spotify wrapped like i don't really share too much and i i don't know i get like overwhelmed by it when people are suddenly i'm like i i remember people tag us yeah once i started

getting the tags i know exactly when it's spotify wrapped season when all of a sudden i wake up and they're like six mentions of me and and i'm like okay spotify's rap wrapped is here for some reason like i don't know why like i get all because it's a lot you feel like you're you're you're trying to like give give bandwidth to everyone but it's it's difficult i don't know so anyway so that's why i kind of like haven't mentioned it at all. I mean, it's also months ago now. I know. Yeah, that's why I feel comfortable telling everyone about Mary being in the top 0.05%

because that's impressive. Well, they better email us next November and be like, I'm still in that category. Yeah, true, true. Keep it up, Mary. Here's a one-star review of Adco Van & Storage in Crystal Lake, Illinois. Truck driver is an impatient loser who flicked me off when he didn't want to let me over when there was plenty of room. Very classy company. End of review.

Classy. And then the response from owner was basically like, tell me exactly when and where this was so we can do an investigation. Oh my God. Oh no. Now you're really, now you we can do an investigation. Oh my God. Oh no. Now you're really, now you're a narc for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what these moving truck drivers are like, but when it comes to the road, I lean towards the truck drivers who do it professionally all day, every day.

I lean all the way. You lean the steering wheel. I lean. Take me out, buddy. I feel like subconsciously I'm like, why am I getting closer and closer to this semi-truck? Or I'm trying to do like a fast and furious and get underneath. Oh, yeah. Just slide on under.

I fucking love that. Anyway. Yeah. So I feel like truck drivers, like I lean towards their experience being like, I don't know. I feel like them being the professional drivers. I would like to think that maybe this. but anyone can just rent but yeah but that's the other thing i don't know if this was someone renting the van when people are like this or if this is their movers yeah because but also even when they have their movers a lot of times just freelance like people who can drive

yeah a normal u-haul but yeah it's not the same as like long haul big u-hauls I've driven one of those big U-Hauls and I'm like, who let me drive this? I know. I consider myself a decent driver, but I'm like, man, anyone can just like show their license and hop in one of these. That seems dangerous. Yeah. A 15, 15 foot moving truck is what I'm getting. And the only reason I got that one is because it has three spaces for us to sit in.

Didn't, isn't that what we got when we moved to LA with Gio? Maybe. That was just you and blaze and your window i was driving separately and in the middle of utah or something there's a big such a weird one of my small windows in my gti that didn't roll it was just like one of the i don't know what it's called but like the like a panel window tiny yeah that doesn't open that doesn't open just popped just fucking shattered and by the way this was like january and utah or december but it wasn't totally gone it was just there was a hole in it now with like

shattered glass like sitting there we pull over and my window exploded occasionally like a piece would fall into the back seat do you remember what you said when that happened no i remember it so vividly because you said uh i think my window exploded and i went what and you said you like told me to like calm down and i was like sorry i think i just overreacted i don't know and you were like just i was probably so let me have a minute yeah i think i was like what please and you were like just fucking calm down that was bad but um that was a crazy day okay this is another one of two movers this nice um lovely text the terrible texter yeah the terrible texter this is another one of two movers, this nice, lovely... The text, the terrible texter. Yeah, the terrible texter.

This is a one-star review, and it is by Kristen, called Disgusted. I signed up online for a website that connects you to various movers. I found a mover, but two movers called me three days later after I signed up. When I spoke with a representative and said I was good, I found someone else. He tried to keep me on the phone and I said, oh, I'm good and I have to go.

And he surprisingly said, okay, have a good day, bitch. I would be so shocked. I mean, I would, I would like laugh, I think, because I would be like so taken aback is it's so bad i mean i would i would like laugh i think because i would be like so taken aback because what else do you do especially if you're just saying like oh you know i actually found somebody but thanks for calling like if you have the wherewithal to answer the phone and say oh thanks for reaching out i found somebody else like i presume you're

not just blowing them off like you're genuinely saying i figured this out already have a good day bitch was not expecting that one this company should not be in business d disgusted i don't know why but disgusted has a space between and i kind of like it yeah capital d weird disgusted yeah man i love the one that's like wow you're such a lady it's like what the fuck and you're a gentleman is that what you're trying to tell me? What in the world? Anyway. When I drove back, I drove from Florida to Cincinnati and I had driven, I don't know how many hours with traffic. Like it took 14 hours before I was like at the hotel or in an Applebee's parking lot calling a hotel. Oh, I thought you meant you called the Applebee's a hotel.

I was like, that's not allowed i did not i uh i called multiple and then i got on the line like one of the hilton like the smaller hilton chains that have they're better everywhere they had a a room and they were like are you a hilton honors member and i was like i don't know check my email and they said yeah and they're like oh you you want to like get on a call about some points like just a promo call after and like you get free points and i was sitting in this applebee's parking lot i'm like sure i don't know little did i know it was a fucking timeshare of course in hindsight i'm like well yeah i mean but how do you know like like everyone i've told this story to are like oh was it a timeshare i'm like yeah you're smarter than me i get it i didn't think that through no but like but if they just ask you and you're trying

to be polite and you're like, well, it's not going to hurt. Basically, long story short, I like knew the moment that this person on the other line said timeshare, I was like, okay, I'm not doing this. But I heard them out a little bit and like, I kind of shut down certain things. And at the end it was like, I'm going to be honest. I didn't realize what this call was about. I'm not interested in like signing up for anything today or like, because they were, it's man, they're so pushy. It's crazy. They're like, so what credit

card can I use today? I'm like, none. Hello. Do you know what happened to me yesterday? What? I called a number that for like, so fun fact, my health insurance just completely got yanked and I have remicade in like five days, which is $8,000 out of pocket, LOL. And so, and we're paying for Cobra right now. So so like i'm supposed to have it till end of february whatever okay so i call the number of like the intermediary company like two movers or whatever that's like in between cobra and the blue cross whatever and i call them i like can't even remember i tried to figure out where i got the number i'm like it was either

online on the card somewhere and the first thing that happens is we have a special opportunity. Is anyone, before we connect to you to our customer services, anybody in your house over 50, press one for yes, press pound for no. So I hit no being like, thank God. And it transitioned me. And this woman starts, congratulations, you have a free life alert, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, hey, I actually said that, um, actually said that there is no one over 50. I think I got transferred to the wrong place. And she goes, ah, I see. Well, if there's a credit card we can put down to send to your friend.

And I was like, well, no, I'm not trying to be rude. But like, this is not, I'm just trying to speak to a representative. She goes, okay, gotcha. So anyway, about this thing. And I'm like, well, they. And then at the end, she goes, well, I'll put you through to someone who can help. And before I can even speak, it's like dialing me through. Like she hit it so fast. And then this other person was like, what's the best address to send this item to? And I'm like, this is a racket. And that was the official fucking number.

I'm like, who are these people? Yeah. They were trying to get me to commit to five days in Vegas. And I'm like, no, I don't know. And they were like, New York. I'm like, I'm literally moving there. No, they're like Florida. I'm like, I just came from there. I don't want to go back. Like, I'm like, no, no, no.

And I kept shutting everything down. And by the end I said that, I said that thing of like, oh, look, I didn't honestly just didn't expect it. I was trying to be very like honest and like, I'm like, I don't mean to waste your time. That's exactly. And Christina, this person got so short with me. Yeah. And all of a sudden was just one word answer is like, okay, I see.

Jesus. It's like, wow. And just like when I said, okay, have a good night. Bye. They just hung up. Yeah. It's like you hurt their feelings. Yeah.

And I felt so bad. In hindsight, I'm like, it's silly to feel bad. But like. Because you know some people are nasty. But like. And I was just like, holy cow. What are you supposed to do? You're stuck.

That was weird. Anyway. So I have one redemption before my challenge. Do you have any more? Mm-hmm. Okay, so here's. Just one. Just one.

I'll just do my redemption. Here is one. Yeah, that Lindsay sent in of college hunks hauling junk. Yes. And moving. And moving. in Milwaukee. And now, plus moving. Here's a five-star review.

I worked with teams two days in a row, first to haul stuff away, then to pack a moving truck. Both days, the teams were awesome. This was a stressful move for my mom, but these guys eased that immensely. One thing, though, her credit card company had to check with us because they for my mom but these guys eased that immensely one thing though her credit card company had to check with us because they thought my mom who's 90 ordered strippers blush end of first of all what credit card company has not heard of that? I know, right? But also, that's great.

Blush. I thought it was cute. Oh, my God. I thought it was cute. Man, I should have read my shitty one before you read that. Oh, well. Here's another one-star review. And this is about someone's mother moving. So, yeah.

It's called Disrespectful and Rude. This is also from Brad of the same company. I attempted to request a quote to move my mother's things from Detroit to my home in Alexandria. They called me multiple times a day for three days straight. I am a teacher and unable to take calls during most of the business day. And having all these missed calls was annoying but not problematic. That, sadly, was the most pleasant part of dealing with this company. I called them back and was transferred to a gentleman who gave an extremely hard sell.

This is that same guy again. Mm-hmm. The same guy from the Hilton. Oh, yes. No, the, oh, yes, yes. Your Hilton timeshare. I'm just going to get real angie. Angie.

Oh, it's weird that we just did that, both of us. Okay. What? Angie. Why did we do that? That's weird. That was weird. I didn't even remember doing it until you said we did it.

And then I went, oh no, that can't be right. It felt like natural to say that. And then you said it also. And then I was like, wait, why did we both say angie? I've never said that before in my life. I've never said it. I don't know if I've said it out loud. Wow.

Maybe I have. Hmm. That was something. Anyway. Anyway. I called them back and was transferred to a gentleman who gave an extremely hard sell before I gave him my requirements and told him I was not ready to schedule anything immediately, but was instead simply gathering information I would then use to make a decision with my family.

He never gave me a quote, but instead asked what I might think is a fair rate. This is my worst nightmare, by the way. Don't ask me that. You're the professional. Well, not this guy, but you know what I mean. I shared my number and asked what he thought they might charge based on the information share. He said, no one is going to move her things. Her mother's things.

No one is going to move her things. Her mother's things. No one is going to move her things for less than 2K. For reference, she has one armchair, one bookshelf, one loveseat, and a full-size mattress. I simply told him after that, no thanks, I don't think we will be using your service. Then, as I was attempting to say thank you and disconnect, he said, yeah, fine, go burn your mother's stuff then. What is wrong with this guy? What is wrong with this guy? What is wrong with this guy? I have never had anyone speak to me like that while attempting to transact business in my life. Add to this the fact that I called back to attempt to speak to a supervisor and was told that the supervisor was busy, there was no department for that, and that they could not share a supervisor's

name or number. This is outrageous and they should not be permitted to operate at all. I would not wish a call or an attempt to do business with these people to my worst enemy or even a rabid dog. Run. Do not walk to any other option for this service. End of review. Oh, rabid. Wait, what was the thing about the rabid dog? Oh, sorry.

Is there something you didn't understand? Just that bit with the rabid dog. Just the bit with the rabid dog. What's the rabid dog doing? Sure, sure, sure. is there something you didn't understand uh just that bit with the rabid dog what's the rabid dog sure uh i would not wish a call or an attempt to do business with these people to my worst enemy or even a rabid dog i'm glad okay i'm glad the rabid dog isn't their worst enemy it's not their the dog i love that it's not the dog's fault but he deserves he deserves what's coming bad in the

world but any bad like call any bad phone phone calls from other companies? Not this one particularly. Like this one doesn't deserve to be told to burn their mother's stuff, this rabid dog. But maybe some other slightly less traumatic phone calls. It's like, I feel like we had something recently where they were like, I wouldn't even like let my dog

eat there. Yeah. It was like something that felt wrong. Like that was like, wait a second. It didn't make sense. It was the um uh one of the resorts or something like there was something weird anyway it's like i wouldn't feed when people bring their dogs into it it's so weird it's like would you usually say something exactly yeah like i wouldn't even that's what it was i wouldn't it was a dentist i wouldn't send my dog to this dentist why the fuck would you send your dog a to a dentist b what do you do to your dog, A, to a dentist? B, what do you do to your dog that you're punishing him all the time?

I don't understand. And it's like, I feel like the point comes across so much better without the dog analogy. Because that just kind of throws me for a loop. Like in this case. It doesn't make sense. Now I'm focused on this dog getting a call about burning her mother's stuff. And the dog has rabies. Yeah, the dog has rabies. I'm more worried about go to the dentist i'm gonna send that dog the rabid dog to the dentist i feel like that's the only person who might be

able to help um wow okay uh so now's my challenge i'm gonna be honest i don't have much uh for specific um existential crisis reasons um that i had i went through i just did an office like swerve to the camera yeah that's next episode oh okay um so my challenge was from sofia uh reviews where the reviewer complains about kids these days oh did you have that florida thing happen and you were like oh no i can't. Like that weird old man saying kids with their AirPods. No, actually. I should have saved that fascinating story, though. So, no, I went through what I had in my emails. And the second email is what led to my existential crisis, which it won't make sense at first.

And it probably won't make sense after. But I'm going to start first with a different email. This was from Abby. Uh, Abby sent a review of, uh, Kansas city wing stop and it's a trip advisor review. Um, and, um, I'm going to change a name here of the employee. Um, let's say Denise. Okay. Okay.

Here we go. And this is written by someone who goes by ML Papa. Okay. Sure. Sure. Sure. Oh, Denise. Okay. Okay. Here we go. And this is written by someone who goes by ML Papa. Okay. Sure, sure, sure. Oh, Denise. Well, ML Papa gotta eat right. New wing stop on the state line. I don't know if kids these days are just clueless or just don't care.

Here's how it went. I enter. No, hello, welcome. Hi. Nada. Okay, cool. Quiet type, like Bella in Twilight. No. Me. Hi, first time in. Recommend anything? Denise. Um, no. It's a wing stop, weirdo. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. Go ahead. Me. Okay. I will have the 10 piece meal. Hot bone in Denise. Okay.

What size fries? Me. Whatever the meal comes with Denise. What size drink? Me. Whatever the meal comes with Denise. Okay. I pay with card and notice a $1 and 20 cent upcharge for fries.

Large. I asked her why the upcharge. She just looks at me. She mumbles. I know. no. What? She mumbles again. That's how it rang it. She then goes to get a manager or something. After an awkward two minute stare down, guy comes out and tells her meal comes with a medium. Anyway, my Lord, I tell dude, just toss in a couple of wings and let's move on.

I've been standing here for five minutes. I sit down next to another wing lover. He says, I just dealt with the same issue. We both waited 20 minutes or longer. Denise looked at us both during the long wait. We were the only guys there or people if the word guys triggers you. Come on. Got home.

Wings sucked. Fries were cold. Denise, well, maybe we'll push the $15 an hour. Maybe just maybe someday you will be able to sell wings. End of review. And they included a picture of their wings, a picture of the outside of the wing stop, a picture of their receipt, and a picture of Bella from Twilight. I was not expecting that. I was like, if they put a picture of Deniseise i'm gonna scream that took a time yeah thankfully no thankfully no pictures of denise were no breach

privacy were posted what the fuck dude people are fucking weird okay it's like terrible how people prove you right oh sorry it's like terrible how people prove you right sometimes like you're listening i'm listening to the first part of it and I'm like, man, I feel like I know exactly what this guy's fucking deal is. And then I'm like, no, I shouldn't judge a book by its... And then you're like, oh, does that trigger you? And I'm like, oh, nope, I was right. But it's like, okay, like... I knew it.

Yeah. Not saying you had a good experience, but like, man, you don't have to be obnoxious about it. Just fucking move on. Sounds like he does. No one wants to hear this shit. Also, also like why are you still talking about twilight like you know this was the person who shared like still a better love story than twilight 4 000 times when that was like what do you mean what do you think this review is written what would be a normal year for that for this to mention twilight i mean 2007 yeah this was 2021 oh no i mean kovitz happening that's the thing is like i was

shocked that and i think um abby mentioned that in the review like well mentioned the photo of course like why are you still putting photos of bella into your reviews like it's so dated like clearly you're triggered by twilight this, this many years after the fact. Oh man. Even people who love Twilight are still kind of like now, are now tongue in cheek about it. And you're still. You're still like on that anti-Twilight like weirdness. Sincerely bashing it? You have a grip, dude.

Oh, it's strange. You have a grip, dude, unless it triggers you. Um, here's, uh, here's where things got interesting for me oh no i'm worried i'm now i'm getting a little bit nervous so this is my last thing it's two separate posts um this these were sent in by andy they them and andy let me preface this these were amazing what have you done quality andy fantastic perfect exactly what this podcast needs what have you done? So any crises I might've had, any deep, dark holes my brain went through. You'll be hearing from our lawyers. Has nothing to do with you.

And it was worth it just to get these. So. What the fuck, Alex? What happened? This first part. Is this from Grass City or something? No. You're kind of close though.

This first one, this isn't the one that got me. This first one is from the bodybuilding.com forums. Okay. Oh. Classic. Classic. This is classic. So the thread is, how do I get a more defined jawline?

Oh, okay. So under, so this person posted that, OP posted that and then said, would going low carb or Oh, okay. Chewing gum, mouthwater swishes, superset mouthwater swashes, mouth openers, giant setted with mouth closers, lip biters, teeth tongue lickers, eyelid shrugs. So they're joking. They're giving a shit. Being like, this is stupid. Someone said, forget about salt, eat less carbs, drink a lot of water, chewing helps a lot. Which I'm like, I don't know. So eat less, but drink a lot of water chewing helps a lot which i'm like i don't know wait so so eat less but but chew a lot okay so the gum actually works that's what that first person said

okay the salt makes sense less bloating it's like just all over the place um and then someone said 16 and worrying about jawline our society has it too good if this is a priority. And someone responded to that and said, this is the reality of the future of our world. Our society has it too good. Yeah, you're right. And then someone said, yep, dang kids these days. When I was 16, I had to chew my food with my father's jaw in the snow. Up both ways.

That's good. Yeah. So then. Fucking ass. Then people just. Kids these days with their lean jaw lines. And the rest was everyone arguing and stuff. God, people are.

Like people just can't let something be. Like people have to argue about it. Like stop. It always has to come to like blaming someone. Yeah, why? Like if they don't like something, they have to blame something or make it a larger issue about society keep it to yourself i feel like i do that a lot for certain systemic issues yeah but you don't just like hop in and start bitching in a forum like so weird oh my god um now here comes the crisis well this first bit it would be weird if this is what caused it. But Andy sent a link to rollitup.org, a weed blog.

I knew it. I fucking knew this was a weed thing. And the post is, how much weed is a blowjob worth? Okay. This is fucking insane. This thread, and I read way too much of it. So this is like actually many pages in that the content starts that i'm going for um but literally i'm just gonna just start reading some of these gross comments super uh

so apparently people have been talking about like depends on how cute she is or whatever is the op like someone who would be serviced by the blowjob? That's a very good question. Is that the like angle? Like how much should I, how much weed should I charge for a blowjob? You know what? That's a good question. I don't know. How much do I deserve for giving a blowjob?

You know what? Let me see. Or both. I don't know. Yeah. They, uh, they didn't say, I don't think. Hmm. Intriguing.

Um, they just said completely serious is what they said. They said they posted that and said completely serious. Okay. All right. Um, so they didn't say, you know,

I guess need that context. Yeah. And, uh, so then this is like 20 pages in or something. People are still discussing this. Okay. And they had,

people had been talking about depends on like how attractive the person is. Okay. Yikes. And so smoker Steve says, had been talking about depends on like how attractive the person is okay yikes and so smoker steve says all your guys and your if she's cute comments when will you learn head doesn't have a face it has a hairstyle oh my god which i had never heard before yeah when will you learn this this maxim that we all learned And then there's like This person who put way too much effort

Here we go Oh god My wife, sister-in-law, her husband and me Got into a long conversation about this last night No With an open bag of fresh stuff and a bottle of Jack We did that recently No we didn't

You, me, Blaze and Dee All got together and talking That's right it's just so fucking weird oh the bottle of jack it brings it all back yeah the two of them proved to me yet again women are just as crude and nasty as us men they agreed on the following pay scale a pay scale okay oh my god i can't ridiculous. Okay, I don't know what this means and I didn't bother searching for it. I hate this. I'm so afraid.

I feel clammy all of a sudden. I do too. Two ounces for the smiling facial someone brought up earlier in the thread. One ounce to swallow. Half an ounce to spit. One eighth for a pearl necklace. Oh my god. Free smiling facial if the guy would give them a long

romantic kiss right afterward uh this one had both us guys clutching our ribs from the pain of laughing so damn long and hard or the guy could have his choice from the list above eat her pussy first and take off the gram for every time she comes i'm sorry i'm by the way i have to admit i never got the whole facial thing why would you pull out your schlong just as you know oh i'm gonna vomit then after last night after way too much liquor, I found out. No! No! Whoever brought that up, I owe you a really fat blunt. Christina.

How many ounces, like, specifically? The thing is with these fucking things, it's just, like, so fascinating how open and how, like, people are on the internet like this. This is like sometimes when people get canceled for saying shit on like really old, like outdated podcasts or forums or Twitter that they never deleted. Sometimes I go back to my old accounts and like just checks. I'm like, did I say shit like that? Like I don't understand. When people pull weird quotes, like either rape comments or like, you know what I mean? Like stuff that's like so outrageous. And then you're like, how did you leave that on the internet?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But like, I don't understand. And what's crazy is we haven't even gotten to the part that Andy meant for me to read. Oh. This is just the page. And like there's a part with the kids these days.

Oh no. I forgot about the kids these days. I haven't even gotten there. Gosh. Damn it. Sorry. I just saw the word wrinkly old cock. I'm not reading that comment. That was a really long one.

Please don't. But someone said, someone responded and said, shit, my girl does it for free and she swallows. But I'd say if you're going to pay, an eighth is all it's worth no matter what. First of all, saying that as if it's a brag, shit, my girl does it for free. It's like, I don't think this person's paying their like monogamous partner that lives in the house. If they are, that's not what the setup is. Right. If it is, I mean, maybe, you know, I'll go for it.

But again, like nice, nice brag, weird humble brag. Well, I get it for free. Well, I didn't know you have to pay for it. Yeah. And then, so someone quoted them saying, shit, my girl does it for free. And they said, is she available Monday? And then they responded, sorry, I don't share. Someone responded to that saying, that's not what she said, LOL.

Oh my God. And then someone said, sharing makes the world go round i will give you two ounces if she gives me one like what do you think would happen like he's gonna like put this out there and people aren't gonna like fucking rag on him and then here comes the the finale this is uh no this is just this is honestly you probably andy's like i didn't mean for you to read all this shit and he's like i specifically tried to reroute you from that. And Bert says, who the fuck has to barter for a blowjob? Get married or get some game, kids these days.

Get married. Get married like a normal person. Yeah. And then I kept reading and it was just not good. This is out of dinner. And the thing is, this is, this is, whatever. And then I kept reading and it was just not good. This is out in our. It was, and the thing is, this is, this is whatever. So here's the thing.

You might be wondering, dear listeners, why would I have a crisis over any of this? Literally why? I don't want to know, but why? No, because what I started doing, I got curious and I thought these people who are in these weed forums, this was from 2012, by the way, this forum, this specific post on this forum, I mean, about the blowjobs, um, was from 2012. And so I started opening people's profiles because I was curious what it say said there, they were last seen. And so many of them were like years ago. Like I saw a couple that were in within the past year, but it's like most of these people

have fallen off the map. Yeah. And so it was opening all these different profiles. Cause I was just in this rabbit hole. Oh, listen, I've been there. And there was this guy who,

um, gyroscope who was around last seen just October of 2013. Okay. Okay. No, it's nothing bad. It's just, you know,

and then I looked at the page and people posting on the page. Did he die? Um, let me, I don't know. I have no idea, but, uh, people were like posting and so april says i almost forgot my panties again bonnui mon ami or something okay i don't know and then gyroscope forgot them where lol and then april said lol never mind

okay so some weird i don't know what's happening there. Okay. We didn't have any context. April was like, um, this conversation wasn't about you. And then April, a month and a half later, posted on the page, muffin, hello, silence. And then like a like worried emoji. And then someone else posted like like, five months later. That's not five months. That's eight months. Eight months later and said, where are you at, buddy? And then April said, like, where you been?

Again, another few months later. And nothing. This is not Gyroscope. And Gyroscope hasn't responded. Wait, oh, that was about Gyroscope. Yeah, these are posts on Gyroscope. Oh, I thought Muffin was, like, oh, on gyroscope muffin was like oh on gyroscopes like yeah sorry so april's telling us to gyroscope saying muffin where are you and then like months later being like hello and someone else being like hey where are you

i don't know i had this moment like man that's fucking sad like these people like they probably were only connected that's the only thread yeah and then like when when you lose these people and like when you mean when they mean something to you and it's maybe not as like reciprocated to the same extent it feels weird when they don't respond and like how it feels to like miss out on i don't know yeah i guess like you felt something i don't know if an online friend just like vanish you'd be like what the hell where did they go and then it got me thinking about I Love Alaska. Oh, I think about that pretty, actually not as often as I used to. Yeah.

And we've talked about it before. And the problem with me thinking about it last night or whenever I did my research, I then started thinking about how fucked up it is. So the premise is it's someone's search history and it's like i feel guilty about exactly and like it's a their search history was leaked of many people's search histories and it was aol as with a user id so there really wasn't much information they're all anonymous but this this filmmaker um who's actually, I looked him up now, is like a graphic designer, created this short film. And it's a reading of all the different search, or maybe not all, but many of the search queries in order from a very specific user.

And it basically like was a timeline of their life. It catalogs what's happening in their life. Yeah. By just Google searches. Do you ever go back sometimes just to look? Like sometimes I'll open my history and be like, oh, what's happening in their life by what, because sometimes, do you ever go back sometimes just to look? Like sometimes I'll open my history and be like,

oh, what's that tab I opened like a few minutes ago? And it's like 60 search terms that I've entered and I'm like, oh, wow, I just search things all the time

that I don't think about. But they had them and I think it was in like a Microsoft Sam type voice. Yeah. But like the female version was read,

read these like things and it would say like. And the female version was read read these like things and it would say like background was like uh wildlife video or like video of like the uh of of alaska of different parts of alaska and just like and one of the one of the search terms was i love alaska yeah and like and that's why they called it that and it was like user like four nine three two six seven whatever went through it was like oprah's eyelashes oprah's eyelashes fake like uh yeah should oprah lose weight? Like it was something like.

And it was really fascinating. It was so many like small things, like very insignificant searches. But it also came out at the exact time where like we didn't really, I feel like people didn't understand like that you could really look into someone's psyche on the internet like that. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

For me, that's how it felt. It was a long time ago. But so after all these insignificant searches, but what was so interesting about it was it would have sprinkled in like real life things that were going on with her life. How to know your husband is cheating on you. Cheating, infidelity,

trying to like get out of a relationship, moving to Alaska. Moving to Alaska. And just all these things. And I remember it felt so like such a formative thing for me

watching it because I was like oh my god this like it hit me harder than anything and now I think back and I'm like how fucked up

is it that this person's search history got leaked and then not only that like it's also violating to like take it and create

something with it oh yeah and like put it out there like that oh it's fucked up I forgot I didn't know it was like a documentary I thought it out there like oh it's fucked up um and i forgot i didn't know it was like a documentary i thought it was just like some random youtuber i didn't

know it was like actually it was a small thing it wasn't but it has its own wikipedia from the netherlands like he it's broken into 13 episodes i remember we used to watch them like in our pre-teen years and just like laugh and laugh and laugh because it's so random like you can't even make it up it's like again like oprah's eyelashes and then like husband is cheating question mark and then you know so it was all over the place which made it funny i guess but again like now of course being older yeah it's like a disturbing and dystopian thought like you boil this person down to their number their user id and then like all these really personal searches so i don't know yeah so that was something disturbing the internet is and the forums

and that really got me had you taken an edible probably stupid question um and then but then i was like also hit me i was like oh and today was also my last therapy session oh at least for a while um oh no because i'm moving so it it it was a weird night i'm sorry so moral of the story um be nice to xandy when he only has two forum posts and a review for his challenge what is that guy's name who sent that in that i'm suing now that guy don't trigger people sorry oh you're right you're right. I said the G word. But no. Who wrote that? Andy. God damn it, Andy.

I'm sending you. I started this with Andy. None of this was your fault. I know. And I said. And it was all worth it because these forum posts were incredibly perfect. I'm determined to sue someone today. For the emotional stress that I've caused you.

The emotional damage that I've received. You don't have to be part of it. It's like the. No, I caused it. Secondhand like the, no, I caused it indirectly. Second hand. Yeah, I see. Got it. Well, anyway, that forum.

I'm also just going to say I'm user 711391 and sue that Norwegian guy too, just while I'm at it. No, he's Norwegian now. Interesting. Yeah. I didn't know that. He's not. No, I know. You said something.

He's Netherlands. He's Dutch. He's Netherlands. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's that. He's not. No, I know. You said something. He's Netherlands. He's Dutch. He's Netherlands. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch.

He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. He's Dutch. Yeah. Anyway. Let me out of here.

Okay. We're out of here. Thanks y'all for. Moving to Alaska. I'm streaming tomorrow, right? Yep. February 1st. February 1st.

Get on that. Oh, I should have said that at the beginning of the episode. You did. Oh, well. No, I don't think I said that I'm streaming tomorrow Hope to see you there Twitch.tv

Slash Zandy Schieffer Streaming tomorrow Well I'm certain they're still here Why else would they Yeah totally They all certainly are I'm streaming tomorrow At 7pm

Eastern time So See you there Bye Bye Beach 2 Sandy Water 2 Wet Is a Forever Dog production

Hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.