Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 271: Reviews of The Office

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

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A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. but i'd give it zero stars if i could you say who started it? Was that English? Started. It was British English. It's a UK office. Oh, got it. Welcome, British people. No, say, just say the thing. Hello, welcome to Beach 2 Sandy Water 2 Wet podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandy.

That's what she said. Who? Dad's neighbor whose name is Zandy? Your dad's neighbor's name is Zandy? Yeah, so is yours. Your dad. Oh, I was like, wait, what? Your dad's neighbor is also named Zandy. Because it's the same dad. I have a headache. Spelled with an I. You didn't know that?

No. I feel like I've talked about that on this show. I don't think I believed you. This is an episode today where we're going to be reading reviews of The Office. Yeah. Many of you are extremely validated, excited that we're doing this because we referenced The Office too much. Many of you are like, are you shitting me? You better get this all out of your system this episode. And we might, but- We won't. I will say, I think this will be fun for everyone involved like yeah which is i'd like to say is true for every episode but even if you hate the

office you might just get validated it's not more niche than the time we did an episode just about lil nas x so that was so niche yeah that's true listen i let you take the reins on that one so at least this is a little more culturally i don't know broad yeah yeah yeah and you can relate to it one way or another because i feel like the office had a wider reach in the sense that it like net even negatively like people like and it lasted longer and it was very timely for a lot of millennials and then became timely for gen z so i feel like yeah hopefully longer so far little nas Nas X still going strong. That's true. Okay. So I guess I'll start, Zandy, since you're moisturizing your lips

over there. Oh, I'm getting ready. I'm puckering up. No, I just. I have that exact one in that. Isn't it great? You were too close to my drawer earlier. I thought maybe. I promise you I did not. That's gross. Also, your lipstick is in my car still.

Oh, yeah. Okay. So the, and I didn't car still. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, and I didn't use it. That's why I bought this. I didn't use it to clarify. It was just, I found it in there. This is from, God, should we start over? Okay.

This is from Brittany, an email. She, her, who actually suggested this topic. Brittany, so thank you. And you're welcome. This is a three-star view of what do You Meme? The Office, US version. Yeah. Now full-size with 375 cards.

So it's basically... What Do You Meme? Is a card, like, party game type thing? Yeah, it's like a group card game where you put the meme

match it with the phrase. It's like Cards Against Humanity but different. But different. Isn't it pictures or no? It's pictures. It's me. It's like literally...

May Mays. May Mays, the classic photos. So I guess this is a three-star review verified purchase by Emma. The title is, It Tries Pretty Hard. Got this for my sister at her wedding. She and I are huge Office fans. It was fun, but I felt like it was a bit much. Like it would have been more fun if it was mixed in with the regular version.

I thought it was trying too hard. She said she liked it, but she's sweet and wouldn't fart on a butterfly. She may. Oh, maybe that was the maid of honor speech. Oh yeah. Beautiful.

She may have just been sparing my feelings, but it would have been better to just agree with me if she were doing that. End of review. Wow. Okay. I like how, like if she's with me if she were doing that. Wow. Okay. I like how like if she's disagreeing with you, it's because she's too nice. But if she's agreeing with you, it's because she's too nice. Yeah.

You can't win with that. You should have gotten a better gift. Yeah. I was going to say, you're the gift giver. What is she going to say? This is a shitty game you gave me for my wedding. Like, come on. I know. Give her the gift giver. What is she going to say? This is a shitty game you gave me for my wedding? Like, come on. I know.

Give her a break, man. That's funny. Yeah. I would try that because I liked what did, what do you mean? It's actually surprisingly fun. I was, I was surprised how much I liked that show. But that show, what, The Office? No, that game. That game. Okay. Here we go. My first one, this was by, sent by sent in by Gabrielle. She, her, um, sent in a couple. Here's my first one. It's a one-star review of on IMDb of The Office titled it's, it's gets a one because negatives aren't available.

Sure. The wife has had this crap on more than once. I cannot for the life of my kids, understand the appeal of the show. For the life of my kids! I'm glad you reacted that way because I have never heard that in my life. Nobody's ever said that. That is an insane statement to make in my opinion. Because on my life is a thing that you say.

Yeah. And to throw your kids into it? For the life of my kids? Like, whoa. It's like nobody asked you to escalate this. In their mind, maybe they thought, you know, my life isn't worth that much. I'd like to think that's their intention. It's extra. Instead of it being, well, my life is pretty precious. I'll throw my

kids in there. It's terrible. I'll throw my kids in there. We're talking about the office and how bad it is. It's not funny. Not even in a Michael's got a serious mental defect issue. I want to sock Dwight in the face, not for his character, but the actor who portrays him. Can't stand his face. Pam and Jim are as cheesy as it gets. Not romantic, but sappy and non-relatable. Nowhere on this planet with a woke amount of PC and trust all women would Michael Scott not be burned at the stake and made a public example of, but here it's supposed to be funny.

I'm not offended by it anyway, but I'm calling BS where this is okay because it's supposedly so hilarious. And not one thing in this show has to do with an office. It could be a meatpacking plant or a widget factory. Maybe I'm not supposed to get it, but this show has nothing on John Belushi, Chris Farley, John Candy, or any other outrageous, hilarious comedian. End of review. get a life this could have gone into your fucking last challenge of uh kids these days like that's true nothing will live up to jim belushi okay i hate boomer speak god i hate it this woke pc um god get a

life man and then they're like i'm not offended and it's like well if you have to insist that like you're clearly upset about something there's something going on here you're offended but there that's the thing is they liked how offensive it was but they're but it just reminded of reminded them how in today's society they can't be that offensive yeah they're like i wish someone like michael scott could run my meat packing plant and my widget factory widget factory jesus christ people are so unhinged um and it basically is i mean like that's the point yeah the whole point is that it's a random item yeah it's a mundane office setting um okay this is an email from abby uh who sent who said you probably have seen these. And I hadn't.

They're from Common Sense Media. So I was like. I avoided any Common Sense Media in emails. Thank you. One star. This is from Nick, or by Nick, who says, this should be, and it's an adult, allegedly. And it says, ages 16 plus. One star.

This show is garbage. Absolute garbage. ages 16 plus one star this show is garbage absolute garbage all the characters are so sex obsessed which is so annoying and stupid first of all have you seen any other tv show the office i would imagine is the least sexy show on tv like i mean there were comments about it but it's definitely not no i would not consider it like a group of hypersexual people living in an office that is not the vibe that i get wow but whatever um all the characters are so sex obsessed which is so annoying and stupid the romantic characters have no chemistry at all and i can't believe my own mother supports their love life more than my own two out of ten stars okay this is personal this is weird this is

personal maybe this is the child of that guy who's like i can't believe my own mother yeah doesn't support me but she watches this insipid crap all day and my father yeah is in a battle for his for my life for our lives but yeah two out of ten uh this title contains sexy stuff like god i will say as someone who's watched the office more times than i'd care to admit But yeah, two out of 10, this title contains sexy stuff. Like God. I will say, as someone who's watched The Office more times than I'd care to admit, it's an embarrassing amount. I do see a lot of flaws with it. And I get so many, like many of the reviews I've read, I get the complaints. But I never would think someone would think it's too sex obsessed. That's raunchy.

Like there's definitely offensive bits that i that did not age well whatever for sure um i know specific episodes where i'm like those are going to get taken down before you are at the very least it should be like acknowledged yeah they're not okay you know certain things but whatever um but i'm being sex obsessed is wild i'm just trying to picture like Stanley, Phyllis, Dwight, like that really, none of them really strike me that way. So I'm not using this episode to go on this rant because I think I've been on this rant before. Here we go.

I'm not, I'm not pro Jim and Pam. I was not rooting for them. I don't like their relationship. I think they were toxic towards each other themselves and their exes. And it was just not, I, not a fan, not a fan. Justice for Roy, is that your? No, fuck Roy too. I was like.

No, no, no, no, no. You know, if anything, justice for Karen. Justice for Karen. No, you know what? Karen found something. If Karen's happy, I'm happy. So the journey worked out, it seems. You know what?

I wasn't going to go on this. Nevermind. Why did you? Because I felt I had to. You didn't. Here is a two-star review also sent in by Gabrielle of The Office titled, Maybe Mass Hysteria? That's funny.

You know that moment when everyone in high school is laughing about something you don't think it's funny, but you laugh along to make friends? This show seems to me like it's 9 out of 10 people pretending to laugh just because they joined in after one person liked it for some reason. Every single person I talk to says the show gets really good after season one. People say the same thing about how beer starts tasting good when you're three pints in. It's a repetitive, cringey, unfunny show that never goes anywhere until a few of the obvious stuff happens. If you want a good deadpan-based show, try Arrested Development

or Parks and Rec. Those characters evolve, the shows go somewhere, and you still have a healthy dose of that cringey humor that some people seem to enjoy so much. End of review. Whoa. I mean, I disagree. i very much disagree that the arrested development characters evolve certainly that's not true good thing but that's the point yeah that's like watching saying that about it's always sunny like that's the point is that they don't evolve yeah but like what the fuck okay so it feels like i'm getting a lot of insight into people with these reviews because like they're saying remember in high school when we all just laughed at something cause we wanted to fit in and I'm like, I guess.

But then like, what did they say? What's the other thing? Oh, like beer, how everyone says it tastes good, but it really doesn't. I'm like, I feel like they think that everyone's like gaslighting them. I don't know what the right word is, but I feel like there's something odd about how they perceive the world. The thing is any of these reviews can all be boiled down to, it's not for them. It's not their thing.

And that's fine. Like I, that's why I'm not, I don't think it, honestly, I read this and I just thought it was kind of funny. Um, but I actually kind of agree with the parks and rec,

um, mention because I think that I have very specific views on The Office, Parks and Rec, and then The Good Place. In my head, that's this evolution because Michael Schur wrote for The Office and then he co-created Parks and Rec and created The Good Place. So in my head, it's kind of like an evolution. And I think, yeah, I think Parks and Rec, the characters and the story, it all was so timely and it like, it like they wrapped up perfectly. And I think it, they evolved very well and the finale ended well, everything. And then there's A Good Place, which is the incredible work of art. It's like a capsule. That's like the perfect tv show a little capsule that it's like the perfect amount of you want it to go on forever but it doesn't and that's why it's so good it like ends yeah and parks and rec

also i think the characters evolve like i think that was so good but the office i think has like some of the funniest bits in tv absolutely ever and like the clever writing like i think a lot of people wrote in and said this is my comfort show show. And I'm like, that's same. I watched it in high school. I watched it in college. I watch it now. And it just is like, oh, if I just want something that I know all the words to and I know what to expect. But I actually, I don't watch the later seasons because then I get like, I start feeling weird about Robert California. I know you like Robert California. I can't stand the guy. Some of his scenes are the fun that I watched those episodes fully because maybe the full episode isn't my favorite, but there's some lines that happen in the later seasons that are just so good that I have to watch it. Yeah. To see it in the context because it's so funny. I don't know what it is about that guy, but I can't stand him.

Understandable. I mean, I can't stand. James Spader? Is that his name? What is his name? That sounds right. Okay. Why am I not?

Okay. This is another Common Sense Media review. One Star by Lily, who's a kid. Okay. And says this is for 18 plus. So like rated X basically is what they're saying. So true. Not even NC 17.

18 plus. That's rated R, isn't it? No, I think. Is that 16 plus? 16 plus or like parental guidance. Got it. I think 18 and up, like you have to be an adult to watch is, I think pretty high up there.

Drinking my milk. I mean, they are really horny, sex obsessed, raunchy. Yeah, Alexander's not drinking milk in case this is a video. I realized that this might be on video, so I had to say something about it. It's a jasmine latte. A jasmine tea coconut milk latte. But it looks like he's drinking a cup of milk. And it looks like a good cup of milk.

So this is One Star by Lily. And the title is It Stinks. The Office is a demeaning show that encourages violence, drinking, and other unsavory activities. It will teach your children violent tendencies. It will eventually scar your child, causing them to become a crazy lunatic who cheats on their husband, drinks excessively, and attempts to hurt people on a daily basis. This will lead them to ruin. Thus, you must immediately stop allowing your child to watch. If they start to show poor behaviors, take them to a therapist. If all else fails, stop letting them have any internet or television access. Let them read inspiring magazines. Please help the children of tomorrow be good people. End of review. Oh my god.

I'm really concerned. End of review. Oh my God. I'm really concerned. Okay. This might not be an appropriate way to talk about this. Cause I, I don't know. Are you familiar with the,

the concept of a pick me? Oh yeah, of course. Okay. This feels like a pick me child as in they're trying to be like, Hey parents, I'm one of you. Well,

that's almost what I talked about last time when I said, I feel like we were sort of raised to like, be really respectful to adults and kind of like make sure they were comfortable and like community whatever that probably had to do with like how straight edge like i was super straight too and i think we both had this weird complex of like on the one hand we're trying to like be be fun and cool and hang out with our friends and then on the other hand we're like but we need their parents to respect us yeah and we don't we are like drink and we don't yeah we don't skip school and we do like i don't know there's just this weird angle and it does feel like a very big child you know like they're like trying to be like hey look parents like i'm

i'm one of the good ones it feels like so and it's so extreme like of all shows like what about what about this was written okay five years ago but what about shows like, um, what's that fucking one that all the high school, about high schoolers who are all on drugs? Euphoria? Yeah. Okay. I know that's an extreme. That's very much not marketed towards anyone but old people, like older people.

Like, I don't think. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I think it was a Gen Z show. I feel like that. Was it? Yeah. It's on HBO, wasn't it?

Like, I feel like, do Gen Z watch HBO? I don't know. Maybe not. Look, we went to Cali. I didn't know what hbo was like went to college can i tell you when i learned i was thinking about this the other day when i learned what hbo was this is this is one of my most embarrassing things that i've never told literally anybody so why not say it right now before you do say it did you used to think it

was like adult content no i genuinely like didn't even really understand. Yeah. Okay. Okay. What? Yeah. I'm just. I like didn't, I guess I did think it was adult content, but I, but I, in like a vague way, like I didn't understand what it was. Like I just heard about it.

There's cause there's Cinemax too. Right. And in my head they were all the same. Skinemax. Skinemax. Right. Well, Cinemax has like actual films and stuff, but I was at a hotel recently and I think we were in the same hotel. It was like in Pittsburgh or something.

And I was just literally scrolling through the chat and there was like a soft core porn. Yeah. I remember they used to advertise like we have Cinemax and I'm like, ew. But it was like at some, I don't know. And I just was just hitting the channel button. And I was just like, huh? Like usually you have to search for that. Is that why you called me crying? And I said, what's wrong? No, I called mom first. And I was just like, huh? Like, usually you have to search for that. Is that why you called me crying?

And I said, what's wrong? No, I called mom first. And I was like, mom! She said, talk to your sister. She'll talk you off this ledge. Anyway, sorry. So, yeah. So, HBO, you weren't, like, too familiar.

Tell us your embarrassing story. The first day of my graduate television production program. Oh, no. And someone said HBO. And i sat there and pretended along like yeah i totally know about hbo and and cinemax what's the other one stars or whatever stars yeah and then um i went home and i started googling it and i was like wait this is a thing on the internet like i genuinely didn't understand if it was like where you go rent movies like i didn't know like i literally didn't know and we was like where you go rent movies. Like I didn't know. Like I literally didn't know. And we grew up with like just basic cable.

Like, you know, the one through 70 something or whatever. So like we didn't really have that stuff or Bravo. We didn't even have Bravo or any of those shows. So I feel like I missed the boat there. Yeah. But everyone was like, oh, HBO. And I was like, what the fuck is HBO? You know, what might be more embarrassing is the way I knew what HBO was.

Uh-oh. I torrented the entirety of Entourage. I knew it. I was like, let me think of what HBO show. I didn't even know you watched Entourage. And that's the thing is if you know me and you know what Entourage is, like there's a disconnect there. Like that is not my type of thing. Blaze watched that in college as well.

I was obsessed i fucking loved entourage like i loved that show i watched it multiple times through there was a trivia question last week about entourage and i got it that was fairly easy but whatever um and then the trivia host played the theme and i was like oh my god that's trippy i think it's by like jane's addiction or something but i like heard i'm like oh my god it's sending me back um i went to the movie in theater yeah that was fun and then somebody put a couch on my purse and i said i can't leave until i get my purse out from under this couch and they said well we're high so we're not getting up and i said well we're outside and you have a couch yeah it was a weird weird weird moment anyway sorry i i

just i just was thinking about how i didn't know what what HBO was and I was so mortified and I had to pretend in front of my graduate colleagues that I knew what HBO was. Like, what is wrong with me? I was in a television. Broadcast journal. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. Like, I studied all this. Anyway.

Here come the carrots making their way upfield, followed by the whole wheat bread, over to the two dozen eggs. Sir, do you do this every time? Sorry, I've been a little excited ever since I got this BMO Toronto FC Cashback Mastercard. Oh, and the broccoli boots it over the line. What a goal! How would you like to pay, sir?

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Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply. Canada only. No purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. Is it your turn? Oh, probably. I read Lily's thing. Oh, wait. This title contains sexy stuff. Too much violence, too much swearing, too much consumerism, and too much drinking, drugs, and smoking. Amen.

So, yeah, we didn't really... Do you think they left that open in the computer room so their parents would see it? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, just like leave the window open. Like, oops, I didn't mean for you to see that. The thing is, like, I'm not judging this child because I think I definitely have views like that. Me too.

Absolute, 100%. Thank God I didn't have the internet. Or like this access to the internet. Yeah, it could have been real bad. Embarrassing. So here we go. Next, I've got a couple shout outs because Maggie, she, her, had emailed us this theme idea in June of last year with some reviews. Before I get to those reviews, I saw and I hope there might have been more people.

I assume there are more, especially on Patreon comments. I already told you, Brittany. Okay. There's also Christine and Crystal who had suggested it. And Nicole had sent us a very kind email. And within it was encouraging us to talk about the office more. Oh, okay. That's what Brittany said too.

Never stop. Enjoy. And here's a review that Maggie sent in. This is a one-star review of the show. This show is horrible. I got high expectations from it because people were saying it's the funniest sitcom of all time. They were all wrong because I would rather watch Dora getting lost in her backyard with her monkey than watch this show with their shaky camera hands. This show is the reason why we should be able to put zero stars.

End of review. I feel like they're the kind of person who's like can't they afford a good tripod for this thing you know what i mean like they don't get it uh wow that's pretty i mean listen i don't know that much obviously i don't even know what hbo is but i gotta say the writing on the office is top tier i'm sorry even if it's not your sense of humor just trust me it's It's good writing. It's really good writing. Good callbacks. It's good writing.

And so was like Modern Family and all the like very popular. And it's fun because now with TikTok, I feel like I get exposed to those things. Look, Francisca. No, I got a clip from Young Sheldon. Oh, no. No. Christina was so well-written. Renee has tried to insist that it's much better than. And Francisca started watching. So I walk in the living room. I'm like, is this Young Sheldon. Oh, no. No. Christina was so well-read. Renee has tried to insist that it's much better than-

And Francisca started watching. So I walk in the living room. I'm like, is this Young Sheldon? She was like, yeah, it's actually really good. And I've heard really good things. Because, I mean, Big Bang Theory, absolutely not. I'm not participating in that. I don't want-

I can't. Yeah, but I feel like that type of humor also isn't your- It's not. It's not at all. I just, I'm like, I don't get it. But Young Sheldon, I feel like has gotten a better rap so far. But, but yeah, I just like love watching on TikTok clips on TikTok. It'll be like random modern family clips.

And it always makes me want to watch the show. But then I'm like, you know, like, I'm just going to appreciate the like really funny bits that I get to see on TikTok. Yeah, why not? Because they're so clever. Just have it like curated for you, you know? Yeah. Just have it curated for you. Okay, so this is also from Brittany who sent an email of reviews of the UK version as well.

Okay, nice. This is One Star by Jake. Holly molly. I purchased the first season and watched discs one and two. There are six in total. The rest of the discs, three to six, will not be viewed because it would be a waste of electricity to power up my entertainment center. Hydro is too precious to be floundered on this kind of tripe. Getting right to the point. First of all, you're not.

We're way past that. Yeah, we're way past you getting to the point. So are we. We get it. We know, folks. Don't worry. We're self-aware, people. You were sitting there

rolling your eyes at us i know i feel it watch none of them did we're just so fucking like self-conscious getting right to the point i've never viewed anything as boring and lackluster as this show all the characters are mundane and require acting lessons in the worst way there is absolutely no chemistry or spark that gels these bunch of rookie actors. Oh, God. I mean, he's a fucking insufferable asshole now. Is he? Shit. Yeah. He's one of those, like, he's like, oh, complain about cancel culture and bullshit. Oh, never mind. Yeah, I do. I sort of feel like I recall that now. I'm just so sick of his bullshit lately.

The show that I really liked that he was in was that, like, show he created. What was it called? Oh, where, like. Where his wife dies. Yeah. That's not a spoiler. Afterlife. Yeah.

I really liked that show. So I think maybe I was blinded to his oh don't get me wrong i mean he's like did a great i think great job with the office i really liked the office i um i liked afterlife as well and i i liked that that one movie but in hindsight i think it was just me at the time like that movie about like where he's the only one that can like tell a lie his character is the only one that can tell tell a lie um this character is the only one that can tell like um but in hindsight i feel like so much of his stuff is so cynical and so like negative just for the sake of being negative yeah it doesn't really teach you it doesn't

actually feel like you're like it's just like calling out like being mad about stuff yeah like made up scenarios and i'm just like being cynical about stuff yeah yeah like made up scenarios and then just like being cynical about the world and like the world sucks yeah i also it just drains me i don't know yeah i uh i don't know i don't know i just am like rookie actors come on um okay the script and lines are neither funny nor entertaining i was hoping to say one positive thing about the show but there isn't one to give you rather than burdening yourself by watching this lame show do something constructive clean your toilet bowl or change the oil in your vehicle you will have at least spent the time worthwhile end of review i just really liked holly molly and i'm sticking to it holly look at it oh my god they holly molly yeah um

i love that like i don't know when people say oh well you should do something useful like change your oil it's like i'm sorry have i changed my own oil in my car sure have i whatever that doesn't take like it's not that is not an equivalent like it's a very weird yeah it is a weird equivalency once every whatever thousand miles yeah it's like honestly that could be a waste of time if i just changed my oil like three weeks ago. Every time I want to watch The Office, like, no, let me go change my oil. Like, just, like. Now you're just wasting good oil.

They're just, yeah, I don't know. So true. So true. Also, I love, for some reason, I just really like the reference to entertainment center because it was 2004 that this was written. Oh, so. And you know. It sounded like they were purposefully being like old timey or something. No.

But it's actually 2004, so they might have actually been like. And it was spelled, because it's a UK version, C-E-N-T-R-E. So they're like, power up my entertainment center with their like DVDs. I kind of love that. I know. It's so funny. It just felt very time capsule. Yeah.

Yeah. I like that. Anyway. Oh, here's a one-star review. Also, this was also sent in by Maggie. Titled, comedies are supposed to be funny, right? I'm currently watching the first episode with one eye on the TV and one on the computer. From what I see, it appears that they're trying to capture the irreverent humor of Scrubs, another show that doesn't use a laugh track.

If this show had a laugh track, at least someone would be laughing. I've seen Steve Carell be funny on The Daily Show, but he just isn't here. He seems surely destined to becoming a funny guy who isn't funny anymore. This show is this year's coupling, another purported hilarious British show that lost everything in its trip across the ocean. In all fairness, I never saw the British incarnations of these shows, which is fine since I have no intention of watching the American versions either. So that's the end of that. And then there's a couple updates.

Oh. I did find it funny. So this was written in 2005. So I really find it funny that they said that Steve Carell seems destined to become a funny guy who isn't funny anymore he's down he's he's on his way down yeah which is the literally opposite of what happened i feel like he's only really he only rose from there stardom got stardom from i think he became like basically an a-lister from that show from that show no because he started getting so many big movies he was the biggest name i think of the show at the start like in the pilot he was i think the biggest name by far yeah so of the show at the start. Yeah. In the pilot, he was, I think, the biggest name by far.

Yeah. So he was already established, but yes, now he's well beyond that. Now he's like A-lister, basically. Yeah. So now, five years later, there's an update. Okay. 2010. I made it through 12 minutes of the first episode of the British series and found it

equally lacking in any merit. I must be missing something that everyone sees. I just don't get it. And then a 2011 update. Okay. A year later. Are they also like, I don't, it's the same reason I drink beer, three beers and I still don't understand.

Maybe. You don't have to do that. They're just taking a sip though here. Oh, I see. When you think about it. Right. Just one episode. Because I'm not even watching a full episode.

And then an update another year later, 2011, the final update. I still just don't get it end of review and it's like wow i don't know that's funny to me that it like was probably because in 2011 it was still running it was still like airing i believe so they just popped in every now and then to be like still funny and it was being like such a like a it was such a oh i bet they hated it when tiktok and gen Z brought it back and like made it. I mean, yeah, I, but I will say I don't understand reviewing an entire show and like really criticizing the full show in this way. And the lead.

While saying that like you only watched. Yeah. An episode, not even fully watched it it like half watched it while you're i was trying to figure that part out too like one eye on the computer i i just i don't know to me i'm like that that's silly that is like that is not i wouldn't i wouldn't take this seriously like if i were i don't know there's there's no real criticism i know it's sort of like harsh unnecessarily harsh um without any like substance without any substance yeah which i'm like there's so much you're basically i could write a one-star review of the office really well

and i love the office but i feel like i could write a good one-star review with points with context and we could probably do that thing on debate team when they just pick what they assign you aside yeah like we'd be able to destroy that just yeah fuck the office it's a terrible show this is also from britney and this is about i love how creative she was with this because she sent the what do you meme the uk version and now this is the office asmr podcast to sleep to what does that mean this is a i've included a screenshot this is the office asmr a podcast to sleep to and uh but it's by sleepy office fan okay basically this person just reads like the script interesting and you fall asleep to it i was thinking would it like wow i wouldn't that's wild i know i mean as of this screenshot uh it looks like 4.7 stars out of 992 reviews or ratings so i'm just like and it's

such a niche thing and you know we don't like to do this but this i felt like was um slightly different just because it wasn't i don't know it i feel like it's i don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but it's a one-star review of this podcast. And the title is... Okay. I love The Office and like to fall asleep to it, but this is not the podcast to do that. The narrator's voice is super creepy. It's gruff and scratchy, and it kind of sounds like what I think the Scranton Strangler would sound like. End of review. Okay, that's pretty funny. I was like, wow. That wow that's good yeah i feel like they're falling asleep and they're

like what does this remind you ah toby yeah i like it um i just i felt like that wasn't as it's just somebody who was like yeah this gruff scratchy voice sounds like the scranton strangler which um wow what a what a pull i love that that also proves that they actually do like the show and. Yeah. They have references. They're like, trust me. I know the references. I know the show so well that I'm afraid that I'll have nightmares of the Scranton Strangler

if I listen to this podcast. That's funny. I, uh, I, I would feel so weird falling asleep to that. I think. I don't know how that would work. I mean, I can't fall asleep unless I like, you know. I need, I'm good with silence and maybe some white noise. I need to just like knock myself unconscious, you know.

Yeah, true. That helps. So this is my last one from Maggie. Because she had sent a lot and they were so good. And here's a three-star review. I might say it's a negative though. It sent a lot and they were so good. And here's a three-star review. I might say it's a negative though. It's a lot. Here we go, three stars.

It's mean. It's sad. It's stuff we shouldn't laugh at, but aren't all sitcoms. It's like real life. People are unconscious and just do to each other what their primal instincts tell them to do. Just the same way people accept the mistreatment of animals and other weaker beings. It's all top-down.

It's a jungle. But in real life, you have a choice. And there is higher justice. End of review. Jesus. Okay. I mean, part of me wants to be like, go watch The Good Place, but I feel like even that they'll ruin. I don't think.

They're a deist. Is that what it is? When they think that like God is like controlling everything. I don't understand. I don't know. Yeah. Some people took it way too seriously. Like I read a few reviews that were like, I don't understand why people laugh.

This just makes me so depressed for the state of humanity. I'm like, no, but I feel like we're kind of like calling it out that's kind of the joke it's one thing when it's like that kid who's like oh my god they're like they're having sex they're like cheating on each other it's terrible stuff like because this kid is taught that how terrible these things are but like once you're an adult you can see it in like a different lens i feel and you can hopefully pick up on i don't know satirical bits or parts that aren't actually supposed to be praising these things like yeah it's not saying go do this it's not like saying the hero of our story is like a beacon of yeah good behavior michael scott i think for some

people it just make clicks more better if there is a very clear maybe they're not into that like kind of satirical wobbly camera humor yeah which isn't for everyone it's not always perfect perfectly executed but anyway so yeah uh but thankfully there's higher justice in our reality even if even if the characters in the office what are you even talking about they literally are completely like this would have gotten an f in my philosophy class at college because they're saying like yeah i would hope so opposite what is what why what who would write this in a philosophy class about the office i don't know i just took a philosophy class

once and i was like man that doesn't you can't just say shit like that and think you're like a fucking philosopher i tried okay this is a redemption from britney it's my last one of the office do you have how many do you have left a couple more okay should i read the redemption now i can speed run okay give us some negatives if negatives bring us even further down um actually i only have one negative and two positives oh good so let me do a negative and a positive cool so this is of The Office, a musical parody. Ooh. I saw some very mixed reviews about it.

Is this like a, it's not a sanctioned thing? Is this like a- It is. Oh, it is. It's licensed. And actually, Angela Kinsey and- Jenna Fisher. Jenna Fisher went to the performance. Oh, it's like live.

Yeah, it's a live theater, like a musical in New York. That's fun. It's like an off-Broadway musical production. Off-office. Off-office production. Some of the complaints seem pretty valid, but I think they've gone through some changes, it seems. I went to their website. I looked into it.

And it seems like harmless fun, if you're an Office fan. Like, there's a lot of whatever here we go here's a three-star review um it's a negative i went this weekend it was okay if you're an office fan there are some funny parts the theater was basically empty and i did not like that at the end they turned to entire sections of empty chairs and bowed and waved it showed me that those thanks are not genuine and it ruined the immersion end of are you kidding me that pissed me off that is insane that pissed me off so much that is in like this is more upsetting to me than any episode of the office or young sheldon or big bang theory could ever be like

i'm now mad at the like get, get, like, fucking grow up. That makes me so mad. It's like, you know what? Literally, they perform. You were telling them. You had a good time. And the theater isn't full, which for them is like, it's harder on them that it's not full than it is on you.

What are you complaining about? And the fact that they, like, had a sense of humor about it and bowed to nobody and waved to empty seats, I think is hilarious. Yeah. I love that. And like, I don't know. And if, even if they weren't doing it to be funny, I think is hilarious. Yeah. I love that. And like, I don't know. And even if they weren't doing it to be funny,

if that's just the routine they do, because they probably do it in time. Or there's fucking spotlights you can't see out there anyway. Who knows? Like maybe they can't see up there. This person, I'm picturing them and I wish I could see their face as they watch them bow to nobody. Like who gets upset by it just it's just a weird thing to say like well now i know they they don't really have gratitude toward me it's like

what the fuck yeah um so i don't know it was such a silly thing because and some people are so mean with their negative reviews and um but yeah it's tough out there man man. I don't know. This, I mean, God. It's so weird. I'm that person. Don't come to my play. I don't even have one, but don't come to it. You don't have to struggle alone. Get free confidential mental health and substance use support at Canada.ca slash mental health. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 988.

A message from the Government of Canada. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. Free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Okay, so, oh, are you, do you want to read? Yeah yeah i'll do one of my redemptions this is this is a

um this is an interesting one so this is of an etsy listing um of a candle serenity by jan yes smells like that one night um and just's a soy candle on Etsy. Here's a four-star review. The smell is really terrible, but my wife loved the way it looks. The old-fashioned candle smells exactly like really strong bazooka bubblegum. And when you light it, it gets even stronger, so it's too nauseating to leave lit. I've seriously never smelled a candle this intense before. Like, when the lid is off, you can smell it across the room when it's unlit. It's wild. In some ways, I feel this is what the

actual Serenity by Jane Candle would be like. End of review. That's like beautifully poignant. Yes. It's like, wow, it's too realistic. Like it's too close to the actual. In the show or meant to be like it's nauseating. It's, this is a side hustle that's probably not good, going well. Like she takes over a whole room of Michael's condo to like, to missell her candles. Yes. And they're apparently really. So I love how this person like. And it's in papyrus font.

Yep. I remember I, Em once bought me like the office quarterly. Remember that? Like the quarterly subscription box where it comes with like a t-shirt and fun like little i'm sure your house is full oh yeah i was just drinking the um the beach day inflatable mug the sumo wrestler sumo pint glass yep i drink my ass coffee and like m forgot that they had it uh subscribed like they needed rocket money let's be real um and so for like two years

and then it followed me and I was like, Em, you have to cancel that. And I was like, I don't know my password. And I was like, you just keep getting them. It's fine. And I was like, I mean, okay. So, but I remember one of them, which I thought was so fun was they sent like a Serenity by Jan Candle. Um, but it was like really cheap and had no sense. And I was like, eh. Yeah. Well, exactly. You got what Serenity, that's the thing. It's supposed to be a crummy thing. Right. So I was like, eh. Yeah, well, exactly. You got what's the thing. Is it? It's supposed to be a crummy thing, right? So it's like, yeah, three stars.

Good job. You nailed it. Okay. So I have a redemption. This was also sent in by Brittany. She sent a lot of very good emails. This is a five-star review verified purchase by Sally. The title is Dunder Mifflin and Michael Scott.

Wait, what is this of? Oh, sorry sorry this is just of the office us yeah yeah dunder mifflin and michael scott it's like i work there i know them so well okay she spelled dunder mifflin wrong but oh no multiple times but it's fine dunder mifflin and michael scott it's like i work there i know them so well and my pals meredith kevin ryan jim pam andy aaron phyllis dwight and the rest i love them all i know them all in real life i feel like this is when you're like oh i'm getting concerned here michael is so non-politically correct that it brings me joy sometimes it's uncomfortable and i get nervous what is he going to say now that is terrible but mostly i know he is just desperately seeking love and affirmation the romance we all know is coming between pam and jim but they make us wait and wait the crazy stuff they do with very

little work getting done or maybe they do a lot of work but they are so good at it they keep a whole office going and still get to do a funeral for a dead bird i guess she's really like i wonder how much work they're doing none or maybe a lot of work but they are so good at it they keep a whole office going and still get to do a funeral for a dead bird go to the beach jump off containers and so on and stanley saying did i stutter priceless i bought the whole complete set and I love it. And I watch all the bonus stuff. Worth it. That's what she said. End of review. Oh, man.

So delighted about this, Sally. Sally, you're a star. That's hilarious. All my friends. I know them in real life. I will say, I hope that's not actually true because they're all so exaggerated, these characters. I think she's mostly just being like, man, I've watched this in and out, you know? I do find it fun how it's like, I don't know.

I feel like, I don't know what other workplace comedies I've enjoyed, but that one just has hit the best, I think, of all the workplace type comedies that I've watched. Good stuff. Do you have more? I do. You just look like you were musing on life I didn't want to interrupt. So this is of Michael Scott The Office Light Switch Prank Sticker Funny. And it's a cutout

of Michael Scott in a scene where Phyllis got flashed in the parking lot. How can you say this show's not funny? The thing is, it's like, I kind of love how like they actually, like, I don't know, it's very, it's not appropriate the way Michael acts, but I love that all the other characters are like Michael.

Yeah, that's the point. No, it's the point. They're the straight man, so to speak. And they're like, what are you talking about? So what he does though though is he sticks his hand in his pants and sticks his finger through his unzipped fly to pretend like it's his penis that he's sticking out so this is a cutout oh for the light switch but it's for the light switch so it's like where his where his finger would be coming out his pants is a light switch and you flip it

up and down and it's him sticking his tongue out with opening his like trench coat uh who comes up with this it's just such a very so specific sticker for two dollars on etsy that you can wow and here is the rear view five stars awesome and fits just right that's what she said end of review actually finally and that actually makes sense right i just love yeah i just love this redemption where she was like that's what she said yeah see i get it it's like well yeah sort of um wow so beautiful speaking of annoying fan bases we're at your challenge now i know i know we're at the harry potter challenge from sarah which is reviews where the reviewer mentions her hogwarts house or blames a certain behavior on their house. I really struggled with this, I will say.

Just because searching for it ends up leading to merch, like Hogwarts merch. Like, I'm a Hufflepuff, so I bought this. Or I'm a total Slytherin, so I needed this Slytherin. And there's so much merch in the Harry Potterverse that like, you know, it was hard to dig through. But I do have a couple of things. First, I found this magnetic finger strap phone holder loop on Amazon. What is that? I don't know.

Apparently, you know, like this part where it has a magnet. You can have instead of. You magnet it. Magnetize it. Magnetize it? No, you attach it to your. Is that an insane clown posse lyric or what? Yeah.

It's a Jane's Addiction thing. Or was that last episode? You know what? It doesn't matter. I have no idea. Time isn't real. And then you're supposed to hold it, but it doesn't have great reviews. It's like a pop socket, but it's like a finger loop?

Yeah, it's like a strap instead. Oh, okay. But people seem to not understand how it works. So even when they bought it- Myself included. Yeah. So this is three stars by Katie. Verified purchase. Title, okay. But people seem to not understand how it works. So even when they bought it. Myself included. Yeah. So this is three stars by Katie. Verified purchase.

Titled, Not My Favorite. I got this because I'm a Hufflepuff and like the black and yellow checkered one. I got a new case, so I needed a new phone grip. Maybe it's just user error, but it was really awkward to figure out how my hand was supposed to rest in it. And when I finally did, it didn't stick anymore lol it wasn't very comfortable just irritating i finally figured out it's best when the loop is facing out completely horizontal toward whatever hand you use and sticks out a little bit from the phone i guess if you super glued it it would be better but i'm probably going back to a pop socket and sorry hufflepuff um it's yeah it's like black and yellow checkers like it's not branded as a

harry potter thing no i see that though i see how you can see that yeah did we talk what what house are you a ravenclaw huh where are you you're hufflepuff of course yeah yeah i know it's so silly it's like such a thing but i'm like yeah that always clicked with me i know and i took another quiz while i was researching this because of course i just happened upon one and i was like i can't help myself gotta do it someone created it on reddit they were like this is an ai i created where you talk to it but and it like sorts it's like a sorting hat ai that's and it's terrible and i asked you questions and they were like you're a ravenclaw i was like well i know anyway the ai worked the worst feeling is when you have identified for something,

something like a, this is the worst feeling in the world. Nothing compares. You take another BuzzFeed quiz and it tells you something else. You're like, no. You're like, I know better. I know you're wrong. It's like the time Franziska kept getting Hufflepuff. And then she's like, I'm a Ravenclaw though.

And I was like, girl, you're not though. You've never gotten that result. You've never gotten that result. You know? She still claims it. So I just let her have it. Don't tell her I said this. You're clearly not letting her have it.

You're, you're. I'm not, but she doesn't listen to this. So. You just told everyone that she's not. I mean. A Ravenclaw. She's not. I mean, okay, fine.

Maybe she is. Look, if you had me guess what she'd be i would say she's a griffin i do too that was my gut gryffindor but yeah and this was also 10 years ago when she was a literal child so she was nine so maybe it's changed maybe it's changed we'll ask when she'll be like i don't give a fuck about her what the fuck is a ravenpuff so embarrassing like i'm over that and i'm like yeah me too she's like there's yeah me totally What the fuck is a Ravenpuff? So embarrassing. She's like, I'm over that. And I'm like, yeah, me too.

She's like, there's, yeah, me totally, me too. I didn't use an AI sorting hat yesterday. What are you talking about? Who do you think I am? Okay, so this was an email that was sent in by Olivia back in 2020. And it is a review of a female mannequin torso body form yes sorry what yeah i have a couple of those stop being weird i'm sorry how is this relevant i guess maybe they're making a i could see them making something like a cosplay uh display photography beige color. Okay. Is that the one you have? No.

Okay. This is a verified purchase by Roger, five stars. I'm a bad boy. Wait, this is me. Never mind. Yeah, I thought you'd recognize it. I play in an adult non-college Quidditch league and my broom sucked. I replaced it with this so that women in the park who are observing the match can imagine me with a real woman it plants the idea in their subconscious mind so that they appreciate

my male potency and crave my touch and intimacy watch out beta players on the pitch i'm a true alpha slitherins for life end of review i fucking love it's just insanity is that a verified but it's a verified purchase i'm like crazy what is up over there are you like on your parents account you're just like it keeps asking me to does it have a price uh 56.99 that is not that is not something it's cheaper than a nimbus 5000 have you seen the prices i actually haven't i don't i have no memory of that green gods i haven't read those books um i know right when it comes to like harry trivia, I'm a complete idiot. I think I always, I do that thing where I'm like, I'm a millennial.

So I'm like, oh, I know all about this. And then it gets into the details and I'm like, what? Who knows this? But people do. I think The Office is the only like TV trivia or like entertainment trivia universe that I would excel in. Yeah. I feel like we should try it just for funsies someday. I always say that.

Okay. So this one is a review that was sent in by Rachel. This was like a last minute submission that you told me about. So I'm glad because I didn't really have that many. So this is of Urban Burger in Cranford, New Jersey. And it's, as Rachel said, it doesn't quite fit the challenge, but whatever. It's two stars by Ian, who's an elite 2024. Whoa.

Wait, how do you do that? By being the best. I guess so. I wonder if it's like- You get your status by next year, like airline miles. And then you get like- They're like, you got to prove yourself in 24 if you want to make it to 25 with that badge in place.

So Ian, two stars, Urban Burger. If Urban Burger was a house in Harry Potter, it would be Hufflepuff. Sure. There's nothing wrong with being a Hufflepuff. You just don't hear a lot of people running around telling their friends how awesome Hufflepuff is. I love burgers and Urban Burger doesn't do them particularly well they aren't bad more indescribable i may find myself writing the same review six months from now and have no recollection of eating here this is almost more offensive than just saying it was bad

this is like this is it's forgettable and average like it's it's yeah it's like that that line like i think like you think this i me, I don't think. From Mad Men. Yeah. When the elevator, when that, I don't even know the guy's name, but Don Draper's in the elevator. Oh, it's so beautiful. In one of the later seasons. And the guy's like, you know, like I think blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then Don Draper's like, I don't even think about you or something like that. And just walks away. I don't think about you at all. I don't think about you at all. It's such a cutting line because it's like man you don't even deserve brain space uh so but and i and it's scathing for a review and i just want to warn you there is a response from the business owner yeah so somebody got their feelings hurt by this um i did i mean clearly we're triggered i'm the hufflepuff you that's true. I may find myself writing the same

review six months from now and have no recollection of eating here. It's just plain forgettable. I'd be remiss in wrapping up before mentioning that the pulled pork and mac and cheese is really just mac and cheese on a bun with a sprinkle of pork. So don't come hungry hoping for some urban southern pulled pork loaded sandwich. Alas, I will have to seek my burgers of the urban variety elsewhere, as this place just doesn't have the magic that we wizards seek and uh here's a response from business owner thank you for your feedback despite your harsh critique we will always welcome you back you will always have a home at hufflepuff that's good though that's the most um hufflepuff thing ever

to be like ouch that hurt my feelings, but I still love you. I feel like he'd be like, I feel like I wouldn't be surprised if Ian like docked another star. Like, yeah, you're just proving my point. I wonder if Erwin Berger read the review and was like, I mean, yeah, we are the Hufflepuff of the burger places. Imagine like going on that AI and being like, is my burger a Hufflepuff? And you know they have a scientific answer yeah i feel like it was and the scary thing about the ai thing it kept like thinking you know like it does the like it pauses while it's typing and you're like what is it saying about me what is it thinking about me it's like it's not real it's going through thousands

of scenarios yes it's creeping me out uh okay so this is my last one, and this is a redemption. I saved it for last because it really is ridiculous, and it doesn't fit the challenge really. So here it is. Four stars. This is on TripAdvisor, and the title is Gryffrin. Gryffrin? Gryffrin. Uh-oh.

Is this a Slytherin Gryffrin? Gryffindor? Well, you'll see. Hmm. see mashup my girlfriend is a major hp geek oh wait i should probably tell you what it is it's like a it's it's a cafe okay but it's kind of it's harry potter themed cafe got it in vietnam oh i just confirmed the location. It's a place in Vietnam where it's Harry Potter themed cafe. Fascinating. Yeah. Okay.

This was written in 2018. So. Give me like five seconds to like put my brain in that place. Happily. Because that was not what I was picturing at all. Because I don't know. Always Cafe, a magical wizard cafe. And like it's always, you know, the Snape line.

And it has the, see I'm already forgetting all my terminology. The triangle with the circle and the wand. The Deathly Hallows. Deathly Hallows symbol. See, I know. And they make like lattes and butter beers and with the symbol on them and they, like, it looks beautiful. I have never been so sick as i was at universal drinking that fucking butter beer but boy was it delicious it's fucking good it was the tastiest fucking thing i've ever drank in my life and when was that that's when when was that is that with me no no um i went only once and

that was when i had to pull the cord on the uh the emergency cord on the bus because i was so sick and i had to go go by the bathroom asap because i wasn't gonna make it on the bus. Cause I was so sick and I had to go, go find a bathroom ASAP. Cause I wasn't going to make it to the end of the, I was like sweating. And I was like, and then they, someone picked me up in a car and drove me to a bathroom. Uh. Was that on the lot? Yeah. We were doing the lot tour.

It was the tour. Who are you with? Oh God. I can't. I can't. And then I got picked up and brought to like the wild West, like a wild West scene. And like there was a bathroom through some of the, like in one of the buildings. What show was that? Westworld? I don't even know.

It was like a background. So I bet, I think they probably used it for a bunch of sitcoms. Right, right, right, right, right. It just has like a background thing. But yeah, I, then I went to the bathroom there, felt a lot better, but the butterbeer just fucking destroyed me. Yeah, that stuff will get you. It's delicious, though. I will say they do have a menu here. They have egg coffee.

Oh, nice. Interesting. Polyjuice potion. Some of them don't tell you what they are. It's just polyjuice potion. You just got to wing it and hope it tastes good. Then, if you need it, Wi-Fi is lowercase Harry Potter. Oh, no.

Anyway, here is a four-star review of this cafe my girlfriend is a major hp geek she eyed this place on our arrival in hanoi apparently i am a slytherin not sure if that means i get discounted prices on snake leather purses. Okay, dad. In any case, if she's happy, I'm happy. She suggested they should have Harry Potter music and should sell more memorabilia like Funko Pops. My bag on the ladder? Please don't. End of review. Oh no, sorry.

My what on the ladder? My bag. Like basically like my bag of you on the ladder. I see. I thought you meant like my, I thought you were saying beg, like bag. Oh, no, no, no. Someone from Minnesota might say bag. Uh, no.

And I was like, that is a phrase I've never heard. That is not it. My beg. So they're begging them, please don't do that. Let me rephrase it. She suggested they should have Harry Potter music and should sell more memorabilia like funko pops i beg of you regarding the latter please don't my pov the butterbeer is good oh end of review oh so uh that's yeah that's why they wrote griffin because they're like i don't know what what this

means or what it is because because they're slytherin and their girlfriend's probably a griffindor no they they i think they just were like i don't. Because they're Slytherin and the girlfriend's probably a Gryffindor? No, I think they just were like, I don't know. They're being like sports ball, but for Harry Potter. Yeah, sports ball, precisely. So it's funny. This person is like doing

what I'm sure many Harry Potter fans would have done about sports. Right. Interesting. Interesting, Xandy. Well, they're from Leicester, UK. Does that have a soccer team we could make fun of

and say they're foosball? Leicester City FC, I think, is a thing Leicester, UK. Does that have a soccer team we could make fun of and say they're foosball? Leicester City FC, I think, is a thing. I have no idea. I don't follow English soccer. Because you don't follow the sports ball. I don't follow the English sports balls. The football. Idiots.

Whoa. The word soccer comes from England. Don't at me. Okay. So that was that this place has so many fucking reviews like 3600 on tripadvisor uh i'm gonna see real quick because now i just am like really intrigued about this but i do love that they're like i'm a slytherin i love that also their partners like you're such a slytherin and they're like, what does that mean? But I'm like, it's probably because you have an attitude. Yeah, it's probably a red flag right there.

To them it's like, yeah, like, yeah, you're a Slytherin. I'm not going to tell you what that means. Do I get a snake purse? Yeah. It's like, um, no. Just proving my point. Keep it up. Yep.

Keep it up. So anyway, I'm, I'm, I'm surprised cause I'm scrolling down and pretty much every review, well, not this one, but almost all the reviews are one star. So, you know what? This place really nailed it. It's, not this one, but almost all the reviews are one star. So, you know what? This place really nailed it. Wait, all the reviews are one star? No, I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.

This person's reviews. Oh, my gosh. No, no. The cafe is like a 4.9 out of 5. Got it. So, this person left a positive review for this cafe. Right. Despite normally leaving negative reviews.

Correct. And not even being interested in the topic. Exactly. That's great. That says a lot. And the pictures you showed me, it looks like they put care into the theming. It is very like on theme. I am surprised.

It's very aesthetically. I guess I'm not that surprised they're not playing Harry Potter music because I could see that being an issue. The employees must just turn the volume down. Or that. Or your thing for copyright. For like copyright. I feel like they're very strict licensing things about restaurant music. J.K. Rowling would never go after a small business.

She'd never go. After anyone. Any minority. Anything or anyone. Yeah. Honestly, since all that, granted, I was never a huge Harry Potter fan to begin with. Like I read all the books back in the day and watched all the movies. Do you remember?

But what, like going to the midnight premieres and stuff or remember what? I always fail to mention that like I was banned from saying the phrase Harry Potter in the house because Alexander said that if I said that out loud, it made him vomit. And so he was so, and it's not like a funny thing. It happened to me in school too, where someone did it and I went to the bathroom to be sick.

And then you went to the nurse and you called home or they called home and said, someone said Harry Potter or someone talked about Harry Potter and Alexander said he threw up in the bathroom. So mom was like,

just stop talking about Harry Potter. And I was like, that's ridiculous. It's my favorite book. I'm starting to regret not, well, I've already, I'm regretting this because it's just a sad situation.

My therapist here has been one of the best therapists I've ever had, has had a really positive, good impact on me. And it's just hitting me now that I can't go in next week and say, hey, I need to talk about something in my childhood about Harry Potter that I need to get to the bottom of. You're like, sorry, I'm gonna vomit in this barf bag. It's true. This is a completely true thing that I like had this visceral reaction to it. Obviously pretty made up, like all made up in my own head. Like it wasn't like- It was like psychosomatic.

Yes, 100%, of course. But it was like very sincere. Like he was sincere about it. It wasn't like- Making a scene in class. Making a scene. If someone talked about Harry Potter to me. Like there was screaming fights in our house because I once, Emily Hanover sent me a Harry Potter postcard and you looked at the mail and freaked the F out.

And I was like, I swear to God. And it became this whole thing. And then it just kind of went away. Yeah. And then you read the books. Oh, no, exactly. And then I got into it and like um watched all the movies and now you're obsessed with jk rowling and all her nope all her beliefs but yeah so then though

i guess i was never like so deep into it that like it was hard for me to like cut off all harry potter once um jk rowling it's such a shame it is such a shame i don't't know. It really hurts. It really puts a damper on. It sure does. Be such a hateful person towards people that aren't affecting her in any way. That's what's wild to me. And a lot of whom felt really seed by the books, you know. Absolutely. But we're just repeating. Preaching to the choir.

We love doing that. Anyway, this place in Hanoi looks fantastic. I'm just scrolling through their Instagram. They have a board game night. Like, beautiful is this all like it's still going and it's still popular um yeah 17 weeks ago i'm like way down yeah so they're posting uh within the last few weeks nice okay because yeah beautiful stuff i love stuff like that like because i don't know with with like the Harry Potter community it's so like

it's a specific type of person that gets really deeply into it and so to have a place like that where you can go and like absolutely and you know everyone in there feels the same way

feels the same way I think that's the best part feel judgment for loving Harry Potter cause why would you be there if you don't yeah stuff like that

cause you're a fucking griffer in or whatever I'm excited to see what New York has to offer for my Harry potter my interest can i read you the title the caption of this it's like a hot chocolate with like a harry potter chocolate on top deluxe hot chocolate 10 points but she's got harry potter chocolate pieces so it's got nine and three quarter points oh i was like oh boy and then don't look at this this might make you sick this butterbeer i mean maybe you just knew maybe it was like a glimpse into the future because you

did just talk about how you had to run for a bathroom in harry potter world and then it was crazy time jumped back to when you did it you're right it's all coming together i don't i don't need a therapy need therapy what am i who am Who am I kidding? You just Skype with me. It just happened. We just therapized me. I'm fixed. I fixed it. I'm cured. I'm not even on Skype. Why did I say Skype me?

Yeah, that's weird. I don't know. Do, do, do, do, do, do. No, that's really triggering for me, actually. I hate that sound. I hate that sound. Especially when it just like keeps going. It just keeps going.

Bloop, bloop. It just keeps going. Bloop, bloop. And then it never stops. It just keeps going. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Anyway, thank you everyone for listening. This was a very very uh like

millennial coded millennial coded and very like heavily fan coded is the right word base not even coded it's just like i say that a lot and i'm like words have meaning and i'm not not anymore really anyway yeah uh so thanks for sticking through. For all you younger and older people, I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into whatever nonsense that was. But I had fun. I had fun. That was actually really enjoyable. And we really solved some issues, you know, mentally, spiritually. We'll see how I am next week.

Yep. Yep. Skype me and I'll find out. We'll Skype. Okay. All right. See y'all. Bye.

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production. Hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.