Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 273: Reviews of Fall Out Boy

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

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Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Well, well, well. It's all been leading up to this, hasn't it? Yes. We're reading reviews of Fall Out Boy today. Lord only knows why.

This came out of nowhere for me. This was a dark horse. I did not think this was going to win the poll. No offense to it. I mean, I was surprised. I was surprised. I thought, why would anyone be that concerned? And then I thought, well, I guess they all want to see me crumble. Yeah, I thought this was cruel.

It was, and it is. Thank you so much. And if it isn't clear by now, one of us is a huge Fall Out Boy fan. We'll never tell. We'll never tell which one. I actually, I enjoy Fall Out Boy. Don't get me wrong. There's a lot of nostalgia now. You didn't used to. Oh no, of course not. My older sister listened to it. Why would I like it?

But now there's a lot of nostalgia with the music and like, I don't know. I've seen them perform and they're really fucking fun. Yeah, they're fun live. And somebody. They seem like great guys. I don't know. What? They seem like great guys.

That Jotro. Stop it. He had to take a mental health break for a while good from the band for him well not for needing to but good good good no uh i do too actually speaking of which that brings me my first announcement i'm gonna do it too uh Yeah, so it's Fall Out Boy Reviews. I have been a Fall Out Boy fan since I was probably 14, and I was a fan and I would have continued to be a fan, but I don't think I would have been as deeply enmeshed

with the fandom and with the band itself and my love for them if it weren't for my friend Renee, who is an Aries and it and was basically the fuel to like our our our probably inappropriately chaotic obsession with fallout boy and so over the years it has and since we're still best friends it really has maintained its you know it's a level of fervor okay yeah uh we saw them live last year and we are seeing them alive alive we will be seeing them alive oh good alive or dead who knows um we'll be seeing them live again in march uh which somebody asked. Oh, Lauren asked that. And I said, yes, I will also be seeing them in March.

So nice. So and Lauren said, is that why you picked it? And I'm like, oh, certainly not. I did not have any hand in this nonsense. Yeah, it wasn't even your

choice. Like you did not put this in the poll. Basically, every guy before Blaze I ever dated was like, what a shitty band. And it was just part of their weird masculinity. I don't know.

Well, it's one of those bands that has such like, it's used in so many different contexts, like sporting events. You can't watch a sporting event or go to a sporting event without hearing Fallout centuries so i'm sure people um wait was this your suggestion this was your suggestion in the poll wasn't it no oh it wasn't no you're right because there was a tie i just my eyes widened i was like i am but it's the third quite confident i would remember that it was no you're right sorry i completely forgot that there was a tie because we usually just do two from patrons and there were three i was also nervous because you're right. Sorry. I completely forgot that there was a tie because we usually just do two from patrons and there were three. I was also nervous because I was like, I've already warned Renee that somebody is forcing

me to do this against my will. And if you now announce publicly, I did this. Okay. My bad. But no, you can't go. So I feel like a lot of people have hatred for them because they are exposed to them more than other bands maybe. And like you want like the nhl all-star game

they fucking performed at which was really cool and i thought it was fun it was a good performance i thought it was just like a fun thing but i'm sure so many people were like what the fuck this isn't real rock music sacred space for sports yeah yeah people get all i mean look at taylor swift and um you know, the whole NFL thing. But yeah. Anyway. Can you go first? Because I feel like I have very few, but only because one of them is like a saga, you know?

Okay. Yeah, I have like five. I have like a very normal amount, I think. So this first one's from Jer. This is a review on Amazon of From Under the Cork Tree. Ah. Here we go. What songs are on this one?

It's like, oh, Dance Dance, Sugar We're Going Down. Okay, so some of their biggest hits of all the gin joints in all the world. Yeah, it's one of my faves. And I just received in the mail the 20th anniversary edition of take this to your

grave 20 years wow that's weird to think anyway man there are so many songs like yeah man there's on this album that's crazy that's crazy okay here's a one-star review. This was written in 2005. Good year. This was written in 2005. This is a one-star review titled Rock is Dead. I think one of their later albums. And I think it's a play

on that because people are always like, this is a real rock. Or they wrote like, save rock and roll. I don't know. Anyway. They get that a lot. I have to admit that I had never heard this band before tonight on the Big N 05 show on VH1. So as of now, I have heard one

song and if this is the direction that rock music is going, I'm glad I'm getting old. And for all I know, I will be gone soon. I had been debating in my mind the recent election of the Sex Pistols to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame based on their one official album, their barely rudimentary musical talents, and the fact that they include among their members an all-but-convicted murderer. But by god, I would rather have the Pistols permanently running through my head than to

ever hear Fall Out Boy ever again. The Beatles farted better music than this. Now I am sure that there are four wonderful young men, love their mothers, and are kind to old ladies and dogs. But I feel sorry that when my 13-year-old niece is an old fart like myself, she will have memories of music like this to look back on when reminiscing about her teenage years. Now I may be full of crap and one day I may listen to this album and say hey it's not that bad. Must have just been a really

really awful live performance that night and if that happens I'll gladly come back and delete or amend this review. This review was not deleted. I was like tell me tell me he came back. And I am sure that if you were to look through my music collection, you could find many artists to rip on just as I have here. But in the meantime, I think I'll find my headphones, put on a little black Sabbath and relax. Thanks for your time. And the review.

No. Oh, you did. Okay. Why don't I drove me crazy? Oh, it is on vinyl, by the way.

Uh, I wouldn't date to put a CD into into my cd player um but yeah no i like i just feels like i've heard it all and honestly no i know i've seen you're gonna get to i've seen some of their no not really maybe i've seen some of their live episodes that were not good like where renee and i were man, they need to step it up. They're not making a good name for themselves. If this is where people are seeing them, you know,

and they, they got much. That's how I felt about seeing, I think Das races performed on one of the late night shows. And I was so pumped for it. You're, you're so, it was so bad.

You're so cringing. Cause you're like, shit. No, now people are going to be like, what is that? And like, you're like,

no, they're really good. I promise promise like they picked one of their my least favorite songs of theirs and just like we're a total it seemed so messy it was very much them so i like couldn't be mad or they're on conan and like i remember that that was in yeah i just looked up it was 2011 so that was a senior in high school i listened to dash Das Races. You were like, no, guys. Yeah. And I was just like, what? I remember that. You're making a bad name for yourself. I just, I mean, I appreciate when people get kind of like clever with it.

Like, oh, the Beatles farted better than this. But honestly, that one's not even that clever. Oh, my God. And also like the full, as a former, the Beatles are the best music, nothing compares kind of kid. I was a child in middle school yeah um when I felt that way and then I grew up um it's so it's so tired that whole thing it's like stop right stop bringing up the Beatles no one cares you listen to the Beatles no one cares that you think the Beatles are good music like no one cares if you think they're overrated because uh that too it's like cool i i don't know you know yeah

whatever i i'm i'm with you it's like you know what some people are just gonna be this way and they don't see how silly they look and i am impressed not impressed i'm sarcastically impressed that this person's felt the need and to put out the effort to go on Amazon after watching this. Oh, that was on Amazon song. Like to go and review this thing. They've never listened to just because they heard one song on one show. The sex pistols just for fun. It was just like, which like,

why here? How was it phrased where he said, like, I'm still considering their nomination or whatever. He's like, as if he has the final say, like I'm still debating whether nomination or whatever. He's like, as if he has the final say. Like, I'm still debating whether. I have been debating in my mind the recent election of the Sex Pistols, the rock and roll.

Also, by the way, my friend, that was in 05. There are some rough elections to come down the line. If you're still debating the Sex Pistols getting elected to the rock and roll hall of fame. Oh, buckle up. It doesn't get any better. It sure doesn't. Wait till you hear Lil Nas X put blood in some shoes. That is going to get you going.

Look, one day, one day, Lil Nas X is going to be elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I'm calling it now and I would support it. I don't. And I because the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is ridiculous already. I'm like, fuck it. Do, because it would make people so mad. Yeah, agreed. Alexander, I'm just going to ride that train with you and hope we get to see a day where

we reminisce on our teenage years. And what did he say? My poor niece. My niece, 13 years old in 2005. So like right at our ages. It's me, yeah. Like literally our ages. And I'm still here like like how dare you talk about my

favorite band he's like she's so embarrassed one day and that's the thing is hopefully she's now grown up and is like oh yeah it makes me sad when people are embarrassed by the music they used to listen to like i mean i definitely went through phases right where i was like oh that's so pedantic why would i listen to that but But I don't know. It's sad when people feel like they have to shame their past music taste and that kind of thing. I feel like it's evolved because it used to be a thing where your first concert was such a big thing. It's like, oh, your first concert was like One Direction or Backstreet Boys. But nowadays, if someone said that, I'd be like, that's cool. It's a point of pride now.

It's like weirdly. And it doesn't really matter who it is. It's Regina Specht. People are like, aren't you normal? And I'm like, no. Mine is Leonard Cohen. Okay. You win every time.

Every time. Hands down. I followed Leonard Cohen with the Ready set. Whoa. You know, love like whoa. 180. Love like whoa. Yeah, I know. But you You know, love like whoa. 180. Love like whoa. Yeah, I know.

But you can keep singing if you want. But that is quite a 180. It was an interesting. Wow. Interesting year. Interesting year indeed. Yeah. And I bet you feel no shame about going to those shows.

Not at all. Yeah. They were both amazing. I bet. Okay. Not at all. Yeah. They were both amazing. I bet. Okay, so I have this first one is from Lauren, and it's a half star review. Ouch. Oh. Of Fall Out Boy's album Mania, which I will say is not my favorite.

I like it. What's your rating out of five? Out of five for Mania? Mm-hmm. 3.5. Okay. Maybe 3.5.5 yeah it's not really my favorite i'll be honest um but here is a a half star half star review uh by a user called t hearing patrick stump singing singing reggae was the moment i knew i was fucked end of review end of oh no he does uh you know i don't think i ever really thought about it until i read that review and i thought hmm maybe a little bit you know what actually i take my i take it back i i give

it a four out of five because i'm looking now. Oh, okay. Now the reggae. Now that I remember there's reggae in it. No, there's like two songs that I feel like I skip every time. But the rest of them I've recently, I think it was Francisca who told me some of her favorite songs. And I was like, those are your favorites. So I started listening to them and I was like, you know what? I never really gave them a chance. It's not my favorite

album but i i i don't i'll be honest i don't recall which one of these is reggae and i i want to be clear that like i also don't love the idea of fat guy so i'm with you on that so I'm just gonna leave it at that that's funny yeah oh my god wait hold on sorry I just googled Patrick Stump

singing reggae and there's this on our fallout boy on reddit somebody posted I just listened to the in defense of ska podcast episode

with Patrick Stump amazing so you know he's out there he's making choices and that's fine okay hey i i there's at least one ska song i'll never skip uh superman by goldfinger you know like there's some good there's some good ska songs there's some good ska i'll i'll give you that i won't say i'd listen to a ska album album, but I'd listen to a Ska song. Would you rather listen to the Sex Pistols for the rest of your life or Ska? What was that guy saying? Ska.

The insufferable live performance he witnessed. I don't know. It's a lot of would you rathers. Very good question. Something to ponder. A thought. What do you call it a thought project yep that's exactly what it is um a great thought project my next one is from

mini moto this is a review one star review of take this to your grave which you said just had its 20th anniversary did 2003 it came out i can't believe it and oh and then in the in the album they have um like about the record and if you open it and like go through it they have all these old like just like candid photos of them like just doing stuff and like getting sodas and being at mcdonald's like getting sodas getting a soda just like me getting a phosphate from the local sody pop shop uh so they uh they have all these old photos before they were like really famous.

And they look so nerdy. That's cute though. It makes me so happy. Anyway, go ahead. Well, here's a one-star review of that album. Great. These boys aren't for real. I can see why certain people

could like this kind of music. However, I hate to tell you this, but the members in this band are all fake. All they probably do is listen to their managers and write and play their songs according to how they tell them to write them. A real rocker says, to heck with the manager. To heck! That's what

Mick Jagger always said. He said, to heck with you, my manager. This was written in 2007, by the way. Yikes. A real rocker says, to heck with the my manager this was written in 2007 by the way yikes a real rocker says to heck with the manager and writes their music how they want regardless of how much fame and popularity they get for writing it and how can you call them original all they sound like is the typical green day wannabe this band sucks and for them to be considered rock is a disgrace and that actually does sound like every ex-boyfriend from like the high school age like yeah that's not real rock and roll as if like a

kid in a polo shirt at the summit knows what fucking rock and roll is okay like get away from me yeah and then and then and then they went on tour with green day when the and weezer yeah true mega tour like they're all contemporaries and they're all like literally stalked them until they got in they wanted to be them so bad that it's so fun yeah they got they weaseled their way in oh it's like so interesting how these people get so like defensive of bands and like compare them negatively when in reality i'm sure many of these bands are like yeah they like each other it other. It's like Rolling Stones and Beatles. I don't know if there was any ever real drop, but like they're just two bands and they probably got along to a degree.

Like there's been some some some sass I've been thrown recently by a peer because of the song, the remake of We Didn't Start the Fire. We Didn't Start the Fire. of the song the remake of uh we didn't start the fire start the fire and um you know the person was like well like i don't know like verbatim what they said because i was trying to at any conflict arises and i immediately just like escape to a different i just like leave my body so i was like not really listening but they said something like oh well like billy joel is a real you know uh rocker whatever and then later blaze and i were talking about it blaze was like billy joel has said that's like his least fucking favorite song he ever ever fucking wrote like there's no like it's just such a dumb argument i don't know like who cares that it's not as good as the original one they didn't write it to be

yeah i know they're and it's not like like they're very obviously it's not like they're pretending it's a brand new concept like literally that's the point of the song it's the same song and i'm like you can go why don't people just go listen to billy joel then if you like him so much you obviously don't like him enough to know how much he hates that fucking song it's like olivia rodrigo mentioned um like billy joel in like one of her songs and stuff and like people oh my god people lost their damn minds aggressive and first of all when she wrote that song i think she was like 16 17 like that shouldn't matter i don't think i mean it kind of should but like it's i'd say the same thing if she had been older but like she wrote this song and like, she mentions Billy Joel and people lose their

fucking mind. I mean, Alexander went to a Leonard Cohen concert when he was like, how hard is it to believe that a 16 year old listens to Billy Joel? It's not like she listens to like some really obscure Norwegian, like why? Like Billy Joel is not an odd and very niche and very sacred. And since Billy Joel has performed with Olivia Rodrigo, like multiple times, I think, or at least once. But like they sing, they've sang songs on stage together. And it's like, there's no bad blood.

There shouldn't be any negativity here. It should be like, there was never even a negative. Like it was just, she mentions Billy Joel's music. And then it's like, I don't know, people are i still like that thank you for that i also like that uh snl sketch where they all just start um well actually there's a couple because i've now there's a olivia rodrigo one of like um where that song starts and everybody just starts bawling like in in every circumstance do you remember i have no idea what you're okay never mind they did the same kind of concept with

the adele song um with that adele breakup song hello from the other side i think like on snl where it just kept starting and everyone would like break down into tears never mind okay you know what forget it all right here i'm sorry i have no idea what you're remember uh driver's license when that came out and everyone like lost their damn minds yeah so basically snl did some sketch where it was like that kept playing and all these like grown-ass men would be like dissolved to tears by this like 16 year olds you know love ballad and that was i will say that that album like listening through i was like whoa i this is very feels very relatable yeah it's an incredible album and i was really surprised by that to learn that that's why i knew how young she was because i remember being so surprised like oh my god i'm like pushing 30 if i were

if i were 16 at that age i would have looked at her and been like, you're like me, what I want my journals to be. But you're like singing what I want my journals to sound like. If I knew how to write like that. Oh, gosh. Okay. Why are we talking about that? I have no idea. This is a Fall Out Boy episode.

This started with Fall Out Boy and Green Bay being like friends. Billy Joel, get the fuck out of here. Why is Billy Joel? He's a real rocker. We shouldn't even mention him. He's a real rock and roll artist. Okay. Oh, wait, I did have one thing I wanted to say about that review.

So it said like real rockers don't listen to their managers. Have you read the fucking, this is not to you. This is a rhetorical question. Have you read the song titles of fallout boy songs i mean there's no way a manager sitting there like i really think wait i mean wait hold on what is the song where they literally say their manager uh our manager told us to change the name that's literally one of the names oh i didn't even know our lawyer sorry our lawyer made us change the name of the song so we wouldn't get sued is one of the titles of the song. Oh, I didn't even know. I didn't even realize that. Our lawyer made us change the name of the song so we wouldn't get sued is one of the titles

on the album. Like, do you think their lawyers were like, love it? No, I don't. They have so many things, songs that are so long and so unnecessarily long,

the titles, and it's so ridiculous. With like a parenthesis. And there's no commercial appeal. Like, it's become their thing, I'm sure. But like, that's not something a manager would be like and this review was written 2007 like the manager is not like yeah make these song titles as long as possible that'll that'll

achieve success yeah and also all the famous rockers um guess what their managers are getting 10 because they want them to make this kind of music so that they make money. I don't understand the argument. To heck with you, manager. To heck with you, manager. It's so silly. Did you know that detergent pods are wrapped in plastic? Yep, that film around your pods is plastic and it's ending up in our oceans, rivers,

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so the next thing i have for you is uh from lauren who was the one who asked if we were seeing them and i am sure seeing them in march uh very excited uh up in columbus with renee and um i don't know alexander this was sent as sort of a link to a forum. And I read through it last night and I was really tired. And I was like, man, this looks like a lot. But I'm so glad I stuck with it. It's somehow the funniest thing ever. It's not really a forum. It's a review that this guy wrote, like a long form review on basically like a song blog type thing. And at first I was like, oh, God, I got to read this guy like bitching about Fallout Boy

for paragraphs. But I got to hand it to him. He made me laugh quite a few times. Okay. I used to have a music blog. It was not funny or good. Oh, I liked your music blog.

I read it. Thanks. Good times. Here is, here is this review. It is why centuries by fallout boy is the worst song in the world by cryptastic on steam it.com and for what it's worth i also skip this song when it comes on because it's basically their like commercial song that the nfl NFL uses. And it's very much the one that you know was kind of created to be the pop. It's like a stadium.

Yeah. Rock slash pop. I've got to be careful saying rock, apparently. Apparently. That's a very touchy subject to me. I mean, last week you said Rock of Love was kid rock. And I bet we haven't released it yet. But I bet we got sued by 10 people at least.

Yeah, you bring that up again. Sorry. Man, that was embarrassing. I forgot we signed some sort of contractual agreement to not with Bret Michaels. So here is this review of the Song Centuries, which is like, whatever, it doesn't matter you you know it if you've like ever listened to watched a sports game or listened to pop radio at all centuries yeah that's the one um and i don't particularly enjoy it i find it catchy but i don't particularly enjoy it same okay so here is this blog post for For the last year, I've been forced to listen to this

piece of garbage song at my gym. Being a musician, I've listened to a wide variety of music. I've been picky in the past, but as I've matured, I've learned to at least respect music I didn't like and hold my tongue when I felt like attacking superficial corporate pop crap. However, this annoying piece of brain-melting, puke-inducing, steaming pile of trash song I could not ignore any longer and I must vent my anger by telling the world why it is stupid and why we should release our hate on the smelly butt-licking cretins that release it upon the world to torment rational people. First, I will dissect the song and point out how incredibly offensively stupid it is, and then why anyone who wrote it must be a greedy, lazy, cynical, selfish, D-bag good-for-nothing who does not care about us or music in the slightest.

Let's dig into this festering shit pile, shall we? No. The first thing I noticed... The first thing I noticed when I first heard it, as I went from thinking, what is this song, to, wow, this is bad, to, is this for real, to, I want to shoot myself, was that it is the most annoyingly monotonous song in history. Consider, there are only 79 lines in the song. Only 28 are different. 65% of the song is repetition 65 of the song is repetition of the three and a half meters i love it of the it's just like the amount of time he

spent tearing this song down i'm like i would also hate the song if i spent this much time like yeah clearly they're over analyzing the song that was not meant to be even analyzed let alone over it's like that thing where i think we just talked about it but like uh i don't i the don draper like i don't think about you line it's like this who are you who are you telling this to like nobody's really this concerned but they're venting they they've they're between therapists like i am fair point outlet maybe fair point and they have mentioned that this is just a rant because they have nowhere else to go with this so i i understand of the three and a half minutes of the song two and a half are the exact

same horrible meaningless earitting lyrics and music. I compared this to the most repetitious pop crap song I could think of, Call Me Maybe. Hey, I just met you. Whoa. That's not okay. Just. Okay. I was fine about ripping on this on centuries.

But Call Me Baby? Don't. Leave Carly Rae out of this this you just call it call me baby call me maybe oh i was like you don't even know the title you poser you poseur i'm upset hey i just met you and this is crazy so please shoot me you know the one it is 64 repetition centuries wins by a small turd. Now, at least the chorus in Call Me Maybe is catchy and doesn't make you suicidal until you've heard it 100 times.

Centuries' chorus is absolutely terrible. The melody is terrible. The voice is terrible. And it ends on a grating high note that could break glass. Not beautiful crystal-type glass, but like a dirty old Coke bottle at the bottom of a landfill glass that a vagrant pissed in.

I hate it. It sounds like that scene in Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey is making the most annoying sound in the world. And then there's, since I copy and pasted this, Sans formatting, it says,

jumping into hole GIF. So we can only imagine what that was. Wow. Now we must brace ourselves for we are about to read insultingly stupid words that make no sense. These were unbelievably intentionally written and Fallout Boy actually claims they are meaningful lyrics that are written to, quote, make the kind of weird kids feel better. What pretentious pricks. Self-serving greedy bastards who will say or sing anything for a dollar. I say this because, though the song is completely idiotic, these people can't be complete idiots. They know it's bad. They are lying over and over during interview after interview through

their veneered teeth and giving music a bad name in the process. At least when the rest of us are greedy, we don't pretend that we're gracing the world with art that helps the kids. I will take pity on you and only type out the original lines, no repeated lines. Some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold, but you will remember me, remember me for centuries. And just one mistake is all it will take. We'll go down in history, remember me for centuries. Okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so, you know, it basically lists out all the individual lines with no repeat.

Which aren't mind-blowing. No, no. But I don't think it's meant to be. No, no, I would say not. And don't worry, he'll get to the bottom of it. So he says, A song typically expresses a feeling and tells a story. I'll give you an example.

Katy Perry's Firework. It's not even a great song. It's corporate pop. It's generic. But guess what? It's at least coherent. And then they give a sample of of katie perry's uh firework lyrics wow it makes sense it's about telling a depressed person that they can get undepressed trying to be that is what katie said it's so

funny actually i didn't hear that i've never thought that about this that song trying to be uplifting. It's got a metaphorical theme that makes sense. It doesn't go into much detail and it's not particularly original, but it's all right. When compared to centuries, it looks like Shakespeare. So here in centuries, who is telling the story and who is he telling it to? Obviously, he wants to be remembered. For what?

We'll never know. Hey, remember that guy that just wanted to be remembered? Yeah. Want to go catch a movie? Sure sure here is all he says about himself there's nothing wrong with him heavy metal broke his heart he never meant for you to fix yourself he can't stop till the whole world knows his name he was born inside his dreams he's been here forever. He could scream forever. He's the poisoned youth. He's the opposite of amnesia.

What? This is real? I have never like read these lyrics. Those are the literal lyrics. That's hilarious. Man, that's stupid. First thing he says is there's nothing wrong with him. He goes on to say that

heavy metal broke his heart and also that he's poisoned youth. So there is something wrong with him. He goes on to say that heavy metal broke his heart and also that he's poisoned youth. So there is something wrong with him. There is something wrong with him. He's got a broken heart and he's poisoned. Liar. How does heavy metal break your heart? Someone try to explain that to me.

He's poisoned youth, yet he's been here forever. He can't stop till the world knows his name well this song is the chance to tell the world his name does he no idiot oh no i can't believe this is like it's like so right i know i know i wanted to hate it and i just can't oh man he was born inside his dreams your dreams are made up of memories and experiences of your past so saying you were born in them is figuratively stupid and obviously literally impossible he never meant for you to fix

yourself asshole he could scream forever now that i could almost believe. However, the whole thing about remembering for centuries and doing stuff forever is stupid because as everyone over eight years of age knows, nothing lasts forever and no one lives for centuries. Opposite of amnesia. This is the line where they try to show they're creative and clever. Ooh, opposite of amnesia, which makes you forget, is something that makes you remember. Genius. Grade F.

Now, who is he talking to? He says you a number of times and also says we a few times. Let's see what we know about you and we. One mistake and we'll go down in history. You has bruises on their thighs. They felt darkness. They fixed themselves. They are a cherry blossom about to bloom.

They are pretty, but not for long. I guess also poisoned youth. I just have to point this out first. This person cannot be a blossom and also about to bloom. A blossom has already bloomed, you bottom-feeding dolt. And mistake? What mistake? The one about the bloom?

It's mentioned once with zero detail. Look, I just can't do this anymore. I'm done thinking about these lazy, probably written in five minutes between doing lines of Coke lyrics. Hopefully you've gotten the point. Now let's look at the people responsible for this travesty. Then he lists the writers, including Patrick's legal last name, which is stump with an H.

Fun fact. Then he lists additional writers who are apparently Suzanne Vega and a few other folks. Oh, shit. Well, Suzanne Vega, the. Oh, it's because of the melody. Oh, did they use that in there? Yeah, that's that's like the main. What should might call it

they sampled this song by suzanne bagel got it uh so i was like oh does she want her name on this i don't know i mean she must have agreed to it yes sampled throughout or whoever owns the rights yeah yeah yeah but apparently she's like listed as a writer it, I think. So let's see. So now they have a picture of all these different folks where he's just cyberbullying all these people. Literally, he just put a picture of Fallboy, calls them different names of Muppets, and then calls Andy Hurley the Unabomber, and then puts a picture of Suzanne Vega

sitting in a window with her guitar. And he says, She has absolutely never played guitar sitting in a window like that. This picture is contrived bullshit to market her brand. Fake corporate crap that she willingly submitted to. Pretentious or cowardly at best.

However, it must be noted that she didn't participate in the song Centuries. Centuries sampled her song Tom's Diner, which is about, you guessed it, sitting in a diner that happens to be the one in Seinfeld, and it's also a stupid song. Not remotely close to as terrible as Centuries, though. By the way, that's a fucking great song. Fuck off.

I, okay, bring Call Me Maybe into it. Carly Rae, Suzanne vega this is not okay back off like this is a fallout boy episode first of all don't doesn't this person know that this is we're doing a fallout boy episode not a suzanne vega episode i mean first of all everyone thinks we're talking about billy joel all the time so i don't know what anybody thinks anymore what the heck what is it no one's thinking that's what i think uh so then puts um a picture of justin tranter whoever that is uh and says i can't and says on his way to write songs for nick jonas which i guess is now another dig at another artist and uh here we have justin i'm sorry here we have michael fonsesca fonseca michael fonseca and he says i can only guess that he was the one guy that regretted this crime so much he erased all trace of his existence

good job buddy we will not remember him for centuries or even for the three years the song has been out uh it's brutal and now now there's uh more about these different people that i don't really want to read the cyberbullying comments because I don't know who they are and they're not particularly famous people that I recognize. Now here we get to the end, I promise. That's right. It took nine people to write this song.

What the hell? Like I said, they can't be stupid enough to think it's any good, so they must just be greedy, superficial jerks or too weak-willed to stand up and put a stop to this massive kick to our collective faces of a song. Okay, well, I feel better having gotten that off my chest. Joseph Mark Troman, Jonathan Rodham, Peter Wentz, Andrew John Hurley, Patrick Martin Stump, Suzanne Vega, Justin Tranter, Michael Fonseca, and Raja Kumari, you should be ashamed of yourselves. You have left a grimy poop stain on the tapestry of musical

history and the only thing you've got going in your favor is that you and your stinking song will not be remembered for centuries because newsflash, it is impossible for anything to be remembered for centuries, idiots. At least not in any way that someone cares about. Here's a slightly adjusted quote from adam sandler that fits here perfectly at no point in your rambling incoherent song were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it i award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul rant over if anyone can convince me that this song has a valid point

and makes it clearly, I will give you 50 bucks. The end. Wow. That's why I'm almost done. I only have one more review because... That makes sense. I see now. I just knew this would be 40 reviews in one.

That was wild. But some very great points in there some very interesting lyrical analysis um some cheap shots that people oh yeah deserve cheap shots uh but what i will say is i don't think any of these writers give a shit this song i checked is eight times platinum well that's what that's exactly what i mean of like no one's thinking about you like yeah you're thinking so much about your hatred and like, they haven't even given you a single thought. And that does not invalidate the views.

It doesn't invalidate your opinion at all. Not at all. I just, I worry when people like this get so worked up that they think something will really happen. And I'm like, I hope you know that I know you put so much time and energy into this. And I mean, aside from being pretty entertaining to me, it's not really going to do anything. But he probably does that.

He probably just wanted to vent. And I can respect that. That was a solid vent. That was a solid vent. That was quite the vent. Yeah. So I hope that, I hope, you know. But I am going to go back to Take This to your grave now with my next review also sent in by

Minimoto it's a one star review man you guys are idiots I've heard a lot of crappy pop punk bands but this one takes the cake for most crappy band ever anytime I've said that something was cliche or unoriginal I take

it back because this band is more cliche and unoriginal than any Sl it back. Because this band is more cliche and unoriginal than any Slipknot or Finch or Puddle of Mud I could have trashed. This album should be used as an alternative fuel source for automobiles in the future. That way they do something good to the world. Okay.

Whoa. Oh, man. We should burn all of your CDs and use them to fuel our highway system. Yep. What a noble endeavor. What a burn. While we're at it, let's throw a puddle of mud and fish and whoever else they said right into the mix.

They said Finch. I actually don't know that band. I don't know what Finch is. I do know Fish. That's what I thought you said. Finch is an American post-hardcore band from Temecula. What a bunch of posers they sound like. They're best known for their single, What It Is To Burn. Probably about Fall Out Boy series.

Maybe this is the lead singer of Finch writing this. Probably. Most likely. Yeah. Wowzit. it well you know what i'm sorry for your pain i'm not i'm having a grand old time so you know what and this is an episode shitting on your favorite oh yeah i'm loving it we're giving you that platform to like defend them i mean yeah getting their good graces. The best part is they know that.

You know what I mean? They own that. How you feel about them? What? No. They own how I feel about them. No, no, no. They know. All the letters I wrote.

They own all of my assets because I signed them. How many? Who did you write a bunch of letters to? What? Didn't you write letters to one of the members? No.

Oh, you wrote fake letters. Oh, no. Renee wrote fake letters. We don't discuss that publicly. Sorry, that's not public information. That's a binder, and it's between me and Renee and our God,

who's probably Satan. So let's just leave it there. Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. They're teaming up. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong.

The new empire. Now playing only in theaters. It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back. Win big with a daily $10,000 jackpot sponsored by Tim's Financial. Earn an entry with every roll. Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply. Canada only. No purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. So,

I have another one here. This is from Andy She They, and this is a redemption of Take This to Your Grave. And it was written two months ago which i love because uh this child samuel is 12. oh five stars i might be 12 but i love this album in top 15 sorry guys cork tree is 10. But this album still holds a special place in my heart anyway. The album, it starts off

nicely with Tell That Mick and ends nicely with the Patron Saints. Saturday is one of my favorite Fall Out Boy songs but Where Is Your Boy slash Grand Theft Autumn was the first Fall Out Boy song I ever heard. So this album is number 2 for my favorite FOB albums. 9.3

out of 10. Nice. A 12-year-old is more considerate and thoughtful about his music taste than anyone else. I mean. Yeah. Well, okay. You should read what that 12-year-old had to say about Billy Joel. I was going to say, not that I'm biased about the content matter. Yeah. You're like, this is the best well thought out thing. It's like just because it was the first positive thing we've said. Finally, 12 year olds who like Fall Out Boy. No, this is someone I can get behind. Oh, finally, we got some brains in the room.

Am I right? I just found it so funny how like just they thought it through. Like this is how it starts. This is how it ends. Yeah. Sorry, folks. This one holds a higher place in my heart, you know? Yeah.

No, I like that. That was nice. Yeah, I like it. I like that. My next one, Elta sent in a link and it was to a post on our fallout boy uh titled bad reviews rolling eyes emoji and it's a collection of a few reviews of a fallout boy concert oh boy um that bring the horizon apparently performed out based on one of the reviews uh but here's what i'm going to i'm going to read this one. One star titled horrible concert.

I believe this is on like ticket master or something like that. It was a whatever. This was one of the worst concerts I've ever been to. The opening bands had horrible language. They were awful. Then people around us were doing all kinds of drugs. The only nice thing was the parking and entrance line and getting out of the parking lot was also not bad. I would never come to another one of their concerts again. End of review. Wow, I don't think I've ever heard a review like that where it's like,

basically the band's doing what they're supposed to be doing, the crowd's doing what they're supposed to be doing and parking was really smooth and easy. Like most people would find that like the ultimate experience. Right. But yeah. But no. Yeah.

Also, I mean, I don't consider Fall Out Boy like especially like PG. I mean, there's lines about like slitting your wrists. I feel like. No, they have a lot. It's a little bizarre to be mad about bad language in the opening act. I think that's silly. Yeah. It's a little bizarre to be mad about bad language in the opening act. I think that's silly, yeah. And there were other reviews of people like, oh, I didn't know any of these songs.

I left because I didn't like people complaining about not knowing all the songs. And like, it's like, well, they have a pretty wide discography. Yeah, and you can also literal Google fucking set list beforehand. If you're, I don't know. I just would be, yeah, I would be, I'm just surprised that people are like, I didn't know all these songs.

I'm like, I, it's hard to avoid a lot of their songs. So I was kind of surprised that people were saying that. Most of their songs have been like, so many, those songs they play live are like the ones people recognize for the most part. Yeah. And like,

I unwillingly have listened to know like you could throw me into like a random band's like big band the same level and i that love i don't mean big band like uh glenn miller you could although you could also throw me into a glenn miller concert and i'd be like oh yeah i know this one should i know who glenn miller i have like a problem where I know who Glenn Miller is. And every time I say Glenn Miller, people are like, what the fuck? I'm sure that's a wild Glenn Miller orchestra, Christina. What a reference.

Glenn Miller and his orchestra. It was my MySpace song for a while. I'm not even kidding. He died in 1945. It's like that long ago no i'm sorry well he was declared dead oh yeah he's literally wikipedia says he disappeared yeah he vanished that's a whole part of it maybe that's why i was gonna say that seems like something that you would have known yeah i always forget that fact but that is also true um oh it was in the he was in the military and he like oh he like disappeared i think during world war ii got it yeah well 19 that the year adds up for world war does it yeah not 1812 that was my

other guess okay great uh so he he did uh their their their most famous song you'll know it we'll probably get fucking shut down for this oh yeah the glenn miller copyright from 80 years ago 80 plus years ago he disappeared 80 years ago okay but listen here it is it's called moonlight serenade oh hold on i promise you'll know it not by this i know this song yes i already do wait was this used in a disney movie okay this is not the song I thought it was. Hold on. Oh, but I actually know that song. Okay, no. The one I'm thinking of is a really, really catchy one.

Oh, God, Christine. It was literally my MySpace song for a while. This is for the parent trap? Yeah. Oh. This is for the parent trap? Yeah. Oh my god, yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, so yeah. You could throw me into a Glenn Miller concert is what I'm saying. And I would probably be like. That was very funny. Oh yeah. Good reference. I know that. I wish I had appreciated it oh well

no thank you for appreciating it anyway um yeah no I'm hoping there's some big Glenn Miller fans in the audience who are listening who just like lost it at that yeah I hope so because I have a weird soft spot for Glenn Miller just because um after I song. Can you get that checked out? Huh? Your weird soft spot that you have. That's my Glenn. I named him Glenn. What's the big deal? You named your fucking potential tumor or whatever.

So. True. Petey. I forgot the name. That's old. What? You did not. Oh, my God.

Well. Yeah. I'm still not sure if I have one or not. I know. I said potential, and then I went, I was going to say, don't worry, guys. It's not real. And then I went, at least I don't think so. Still working on it.

I'm much better in a much better place. I'll say that. I feel like that. I haven't given more details, but I haven't been ready for it. I think it's okay. I don't think anyone expects you to keep them. I know. I know. Except me. I mean, you can tell me anytime, but. Yeah. Yeah. but i haven't i think it's okay i don't think anyone expects you to keep them i know i know except me i mean you can tell me anytime but yeah yeah so basically he wrote a lot of big

big band tunes um and uh that is glenn miller not fallout boy what the fuck yeah this is turning this is getting out of control look i think this is what every one of our episodes is like but it's more obvious because it's like their tangents are about specific artists instead of like the one artist within music. All the rants, you know, like my the last week's episode. I don't know what the fuck that was. We haven't released it yet, but I'm nervous for that one. The one we just recorded like an hour ago. Oh, I was like.

Or should I say three hours ago because it took us so long to capture. I was like, which episode are you talking about? Oh, reality TV. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, by the way. Happy Valentine's Day. Anyway, I forget what is even happening.

It's my turn. Great. And I have a forum post sent in by someone named Julio. God damn it, Julio. And it's a forum. Actually, this is getting a little too. Grass City. Ever heard of it?

Is Grass City for real? It is. Oh, I thought he was going to find a Fall Out Boy forum and then I was going to be on it. And he was going to reveal something because I'm sure I'm on there somewhere. Oh, yeah. Like Rice Pudding 9 or whatever. Yeah. Well, here's a post from july of 2013 um and the post is titled new fallout boy album

any thoughts okay do you know what album that was let's see wait what year oh boy july 2013 uh save rock and roll save rock and roll you Yes. Sorry. That was released in April of 2013. Man, that would have been embarrassing. That was impressive. Thank you. I feel like I don't, my favorite bands, I don't know. I know the order they came out in. I just don't know the years.

It's only because like I remember what time of my life it was, you know? Oh, that makes sense. So like when, take this, yeah, that's why. My favorite bands are from like the 40s. So I wasn't aware. Glenn Miller. Whenever I think about my favorite artist, I wonder if he got a Purple Heart or not. Yeah, me too.

Did he? I feel like we can look that up. I know, I'd rather just live in the not knowing. Okay, fair. Anyway, here's this forum post on Grass City. So I just checked out the new Fall Out Boy album. Not my favorite band, but I used to be a fan. Anyways, I was just wondering if any of my fellow Blades

had any thoughts on it. I'm kind of iffy. I definitely dig the first two tracks, but I don't know about the rest. And then Blaze responds. Wait, wait, hold on. So, sorry, just to clarify, they're called Blades because of like grass city?

I assume so, yes. That's kind of hilariously stupid. I love it. It's very dumb, but like in such a funny way that I love it. Yeah, yeah. So, Blades. And then now you're saying someone named Blaze. Yes, so now someone named Blaze.

With a Z. L-E. Yeah, with a Z. Not a Blaze. Okay, gotcha. B-L-A-I-z-e i was like this is getting a little too close to home okay no um someone named blaze says fallout boy is still a thing i thought they died out when their fan base turned 16 you wish and then the uh op responded

fallout boy is a thing, LOL. And I was a fan when Younger was just wondering if anyone else was. Obviously, you're not, LOL. You've made your position clear, asshole. And then that was it. Oh, that was it. No one else. There was the full pose.

No one else talked to Magic C. Well, now that I know more about marijuana, I could hop in and say, hey. Yeah, you could. You could. I could do what Julia did and make my username X-Teen's friend and pretend it's not me. True. But yeah, that was

my last one. That was pretty good. So the rest are all you. So this was sent in by Minimoto. It is a redemption, a five star review of the album Take This to Your Grave. So a fitting end to today's theme. And it is a five-star review, verified purchase of the CD on Amazon. I'm a huge fan of FOB and I love this album so much, colon three.

For me, that album, it takes me off all the troubles of my head and makes me want to get up and keep fighting to find a home, to feeling loved again. It's such a very special CD for me, so I recommend it so much if you like pop, punk, or punk as well. The end. End of verse. Nice.

It made me feel nice and happy in my heart. Made you feel colon three. Made me feel nice and happy in my heart made you feel colon three made me a colon three and it's weird because the amazon font changed it from like the colon three to like a very edgy one like a pointy three oh so it first i was like what is that what are they trying to do and then i was like oh it's just like a kind of wonky smile you know like my smile it's like mine is too yeah yeah maybe that's what they were trying to say but anyway i just thought we'd need a little i don't know yeah that that was nice pick up a little lift that was nice lift me up is that a thing pick me up pick me up lift me up god oh help okay um time for my challenge yeah i think so i'm done okay

excellent so my challenge was from michelle and it was to find reviews that mention people cheating or having affairs juicy oh my gosh was this fun okay and these two back-to-back episodes we've just done have been some of the most fun research i've done in a long time just like even though it was fallout boy it was just so fun to to read those and then um the reality dating ones something about it people i was gonna say that one specifically for me because this one i used emails because we had so many yeah yeah yeah some really good ones so i didn't really do any research for this. But I was also spending so much of my time doing the Airbnb bullshit. Oh, yeah, true.

And struggling with that. But still, but that reality TV stuff. Oh, God. People were like on a next level with that. And same with talking about cheating. Okay. So this one. Okay, this is exciting.

It's from Andy, they, them. And it's a review of an Ulta, as in the makeup and beauty store here in the US. Yeah. And this is a one star review by Marie. Worst customer experience. The person that waited on me was wearing a plain white tee. Wait. That's a band.

Hey, don't stop it. Fall Out Boy only. Stay focused on fall out boy only change it they're wearing a fall out boy also very weird that they're wearing a plain white t-shirt is relevant sorry i it just it never comes back um so i just thought i'd point it out now okay worst customer experience the person that waited on me was wearing a plain white t-shirt and was telling the man two registers over that he was cheating on her. She completely ignored her when I asked her two questions. She tried shoving all of my products in a tiny bag,

and I asked her for a bigger bag, and she said the bigger bag was too big. I told her I do not want those products spilling out all over my car, which they would, and to please give me a bigger bag. A cashier should be listening to the customer, not flirting with the man two registers over, and she looks like she just rolled out of bed. Additionally, I could not try the new Billie Eilish perfume because it as well as several other perfumes were either empty or missing their spray nozzles. End of review. Literally what is happening?

The fuck just happened? The pronouns were not used properly. I cannot figure out who is talking to whom, is cheating on whom, is flirting with whom. Yeah, there was a lot going on there and it went from cheating to flirting and then to Billie Eilish, which another art. No, we're not talking about Billie Eilish today. Wait a minute. I'm literally in a makeup review.

Oh my God. I can't. It doesn't stop. It's not even our fault this time. We've ranted. I've gone on many paths today. This one wasn't intentional. That were my fault.

But this one, it's not anyone's fault. This is Ulta's fault. It's Ulta's fault. And the plain white teeth. I love the insult of like, she's flirting with that man. Also, she looks like shit. I love the insult of like, she's flirting with that man. Also, she looks like shit.

Like, whoa. Okay. Well, it's, it's a red flag when this person's initial thing is the cashier should be listening to the customer. It's like, fuck off.

That's not how this should go. Yeah. There's no should here. Um, and the concern about the plain white t-shirt, I don't know. It's just all very odd. And I,

I feel like there was definitely some drama and i don't know it's just all very odd and i i feel like there was definitely some drama and i don't care about kimberly that much but i do want to know what was happening so i wish one of you curious which we had the like behind the scenes perspective um yeah you know reality show style but oh well uh here is a review from uh uh, oh, I found this one myself. It's a first, I think. Oh, nope. It's from Andy. That would have been fun.

Uh, first of self storage facility. And it is a five star review. Oh, yep. This is by Kathy. I needed a place to store my belongings. I had just left my husband and had just found out that he was cheating on me with three women. So I rented a U-Haul and hired moving help and got my stuff out.

And Chris was outstanding in helping get a place that was super big and easy access. Thank you, Chris. You're marvelous. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I smell romance. I was going to say, I smell rebound. I smell rebound. Fair, fine. Romantic rebound. I definitely wasn't like, oh, this is going to say, I smell rebound. I smell rebound. Which, fair, fine.

Romantic rebound. I definitely wasn't like, oh, this is going to be a romantic thing. I mean, it's like a very, it feels very Hallmark-esque. Yeah. Except the husband had died. Rushing into a new relationship. Instead of cheating. Really soon after.

Yeah. Very Hallmark, I think. And being like, I'm not ready to date. And then the guy's just like, his tree farm is so good that she just can't say no yeah uh so yeah so chris you're marvelous with a lot of dot dot dots and i feel like we all know what that means kathy you are already on the prowl and good for you good for kathy with easy access yeah kathy with easy access she said he found me some easy access i don't know i'm now reading way too much into that uh okay so we know yeah thanks for announcing it we hear you do it we're uncomfortable this is from annika and it's of a place in Spain called Isla de Benidorm.

Shut up. I think it's like a park slash island, like a natural wonder. I have no idea. It's like an island that you go to with a beach. You know, just a natural wonder. You know Spain and their natural wonders. Sure, sure.

This is a one-star review. No, no, and once again, no. It's rubbish. Miserable hell on earth experience. Short boat trip which stinks of stale urine. The glass bottom was packed, never even got near it. Once you're on the island, it's hell on earth. Flies and seagull excrement everywhere. The seagulls take big chunks out of you though i understand

they are protecting their young what the fuck what they take big chunks out of you chunks of what of you in flesh of your corporeal being what the your soul? That, I don't doubt. The seagulls take big chunks out of you, though I understand they are protecting their young. The path up is steep and not great if you have reduced mobility. The cafe is overpriced and the staff are rude. Still, when you're back on the boat, they take a nice picture, which they then stick on a plate and try to charge you 10 euros for. My wife left

me after this trip for another man i'm pretty sure it was entirely down to all this though it could be my lack of personality end of review jesus well that took quite the turn i i was wondering when it was gonna come up i thought i know i thought with the seagull the chunks of seagulls no not yet um i wondered if this was like kind of a fake review but then i looked and like no this is a dude um who travels and writes real reviews so i assume the last line was kind of tongue-in-cheek like oh maybe she just didn't like my personality haha but it kind of just comes off as like very sad yeah yeah i don't know she left you for another man because of the all because of the seagulls i yeah i i um i'm kind of glad they have something to point to so they don't maybe beat

themselves up too much that's what i'm thinking it's like you believe what you got to believe to get through it you know what i mean that's what yeah yeah it's okay whatever it takes one day in therapy you'll finally get to it but you don't need to yet when the therapist has a seagull hand puppets and stuff out oh no no that's called that's when he's like in like ptsd like serious trauma therapy because getting chunks bitten out of you by seagulls i mean as someone who's had that fear for my whole life basically um i know how devastating that must be nothing like a divorce no god no yeah much worse much worse okay now this is one I found. Uh, it's, I don't know. I wrote, it's a unique angle on cheating. Like,

I don't know. I'm glad we get your input now first. Okay. It's, I basically put it as like, it's not, whatever. It doesn't matter.

This is, uh, from TripAdvisor and you'll see what I mean. And it's of an ice cream store called Lickety Splits in Batavia, New York. One star. That feels dirty, that name. It does, doesn't it?

Like, I don't hate it, but it feels dirty. Yeah, a little bit. When you say it out loud, it does, for sure. Avoid at all costs. Rudest business owner ever. My family has been coming here for years. We decided to come around 6.30 p.m. on Father's Day. We waited close to half an hour in the drive-thru line. No complaints about that, though. It was years. We decided to come around 6.30pm on Father's Day. We waited

close to half an hour in the drive-thru line. No complaints about that though. It was busy. We get it. We finally get to the front of the line to order and the owner came out to our vehicle to take our order. We looked at the menus posted near the drive-thru as we obviously were in line for a while. He greeted us friendly at first, said, wow, haven't seen you guys in a while, wished my dad a happy Father's Day, then proceeded to take my mom's order and then my dad's order. After my dad ordered something that was on the menu, the owner yelled at him and said, you've been cheating on me and going somewhere else. We don't have that here. Leave. There was a car in front of us paying for their ice cream. He also scolded the people in this vehicle about their car not being pulled up far enough.

So we drove up toward the window to exit the line and he slammed the window down before we could say anything. Horrible customer service. We'll absolutely never be going back again. End of review. What? That's crazy. So he ordered like pretzels on his, like a pretzel something or whatever. And then the guy was like, that's what Barry's ice cream sells across town.

You've been eating around. Eating around. I see what you mean now. Like a unique take on cheating where someone was genuinely, sincerely accusing someone else of cheating on them. That's crazy. But in not the traditional way that's amazing there was actually another review by this like the same group like it was posted the same day by like the other partner or something and they were they like gave them this one was clearer what was happening but in that other review they didn't mention like what they ordered and i think it was like salted caramel something and they're like it is on his menu like why why is he shouting at me and also i'm allowed

to go try other ice cream places it sounds like he was having a shitty day especially we yelled at the car behind you know it sounds like he has like a parasocial relationship with this family his customers yeah yeah he's like i know you've been cheating that's so sad that's like, I know you've been cheating. That's so sad. That's like pretty crazy. So here's the last one I have. And this one contains an image. So I will send that to you. This is a review on TripAdvisor. And it's of Dolphin Bay in Dubai, UAE.

I'm just, I'll read the review and then the caption of the photo, which is where the challenge comes in. Despite the fact that I am no longer a child, visiting the Dolphin Bay left an indelible impression on me. Yes, a little expensive, but it's worth it. When you have the opportunity to swim with dolphins in such close proximity. Instructors are very friendly, explain to you everything you need to know, how to behave with the dolphins as you can touch and the ones that cannot be touched, trying to learn more about you, many jokes, even try to talk to you in your native language, creating a very pleasant atmosphere. Stunning place, very touching communication, unforgettable memories for a lifetime i highly recommend

thanks for everyone from this place especially to dolphin kathy now dolphin who kathy is that an actual dolphin yes oh wait no i think that was like the name of the tour guide or trainer or something you americans wouldn't pronounce be able to pronounce my name so it's i'm gonna call myself dolphin kathy is what i'm picturing the scenario is and that feels so me dolphin kathy like i don't know that's i'm just making up scenarios i love that that one like didn't even phase me um so i'm sending you the photo yeah what the fuck someone's named dolphin kathy what a dope nickname i know dolphin kathy is great although maybe this is dolphin kathy okay i'm sending a photo it's your place of employment so it's like this is a picture of this reviewer's

husband and the caption is i'm so nervous Cheating on me with another woman fish. And it's over kissing the chin of a dolphin. And now I'm wondering if this is dolphin Kathy. That is amazing. Yeah, maybe. That would make sense. I mean, look at them smooching. This is like paparazzi. Got him.

Look at Kathy's side eye. Kathy is like, I'm just doing this for the press my manager said this would get me like some i think kathy's doing for the fish oh yeah true you know yeah she always is oh come on no i respect it come on okay yeah you get that fish you know get that bread get that fish oh good times all right times bread, get that fish. Oh, good times. All right. Good times with Dolph and Kathy. Okay, we'll post this photo, I think.

No, we can't post this photo. Shit, it's of a man. Yeah, probably not. Can I blur his face? You probably should. Yeah, I don't know. It's a man. Should we post it on Patreon so that nobody will ever know?

No. Why not? Okay. I don't know. It feels weird. They can all find it if they really want to. It's a photo of a man who looks a little bit like Paul Blart Mall Cop. Oh, okay.

Kissing the chin of a little Dolphy Dolph. Mixed with Paul Giamatti. Mixed with Paul Giamatti kissing a dolphin. Yeah. And it says. It's a cute photo. Cheating on me with another woman fish, which I don't. I'm a cute photo on me with another woman fish which i don't i i'm a little bit worried about the another woman fish like are you thinking they're saying either that

or like this is a second oh no it's a pattern oh when someone shows to you who they are believe them is what i have to say get out of there oh good stuff well thank you all for listening this was fun this was crazy yeah yeah oh man well and we'll talk to you soon all right we'll see you next time bye everyone beach too sandy water too wet is a forever dog production hosted anded and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.