Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 278: Reviews from 2004

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

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This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. sandy water to wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hi everyone, we did a clap because we're professional audio engineers and so when we clapped my shoulder then went pop so I really hope that they know which we did a clap because we're professional audio engineers And so when we clapped my shoulder then went pop

So I really hope that they know which one was a clap and which one was just my shoulder coming undone People say that this is an easy job, you know, just be they do a white podcaster That's right. I say it all the time and like which has happened. What's wrong with me? I'm so wrong about that because an assessment will immediately tell you the dangers of the physical dangers, the spiritual dangers, psychic attack. I just learned about that. Yeah. Yeah. Specific to our field. Well, no, but like it's widely relevant to any field, you know? Yeah, I don't know, but I'll just take your word on that. Welcome to episode 278.

This is reviews written in 2004. How do you feel about this? Oh, let's tell- It was so fucking weird. It was so- It was cool. I never would have thought to do it. It was like, maybe we'll call it reviews written 20 years ago.

No, maybe 20. What about 20- Year old reviews? Yeah, but then it sounds like 20 year olds are writing the reviews. Maybe they are. 20, we'll figure that out in post. Yeah. Sorry, that's a not an accessible word for everybody, but post means after we record. So maybe we'll figure it out in post. And Zandy, what was

your challenge this week? Thank you for asking. My challenge was from Clark, they, them, who said, asked me to find reviews where someone troubleshoots another reviewer's problem. They didn't actually ask you. They said, find them. So they demanded my, they demanded. Again, it's a difficult job we're in. So they demanded my, they demanded again, it's a difficult job. We're in. So they actually had included a couple other possible things, but I think I stuck to that one. Like they, they had mentioned some other methods, whatever, I don't know in their email. I'll talk, we'll talk about that later. Okay. Let's get through. We can talk about that in pre. Oh wait, no. What's this called? Actually recording it.

The present moment, I don't know. Yeah, we don't live in it. So, you wanna go ahead with your reviews? I do, thank you for asking. This is from John, he, him, and he wrote in, "'I'm so excited that my suggestion won.'" So this is John's problem and fault and et cetera. "'I figured I should provide a few reviews

since it's my fault you have to scroll through 20 years of reviews. I hope these help. Now John sent in what I accidentally called a triple decker in my notes, but I think I meant a hat trick is what I meant. Is that three things that are successful? Sure. I'd say that's considered a hat trick. A triple use for a hat trick. A triple decker would be three things, I guess, on top of each other. Yeah, I guess. Okay. I guess that works too.

The first one, I feel like we're just going to jump into 2004. And by the way, folks, which it took me a second to kind of put my, wrap my head around this, but this 2004 was 20 years ago as of the time we are recording this. And perhaps even longer if you're listening to this in the future. Whoa. But this is a review from 2004 that is just the most 2004 thing you could find, a review of the Lizzie McGuire movie. Oh, my doctor's calling me. Okay.

Sorry. They sensed something was wrong in there. I'm not wrong. She can't go back to 2004. Oh man. Okay. So this is a review of the Lizzie McGuire movie. It's a seven out of 10. And this is a redemption. I know, but I didn't, I was going to make an excuse, but I actually didn't realize it until this very moment. So this is a technically a positive review, though. It's kind of right down the middle. And the title is, oh, this is on IMDb and the title

is hyperactive teens tour Rome. Which I think is actually the like subtext of the title, like on the, on the movie poster. It should be. Should be. Really fun picture based on the life story of Britney Spears' meteoric rise to pop superstardom. Lizzie could do little right in her personal relationships with her fellow

students, her little brother, who was a scream as he made Lizzie's life a living hell, but especially in her dealings with a charismatic, charming Roman singer she meets soon after arriving in the city of seven Hills. Sing to me, Paolo. Wanting, Paolo. Yep. Still relevant. Still, still slaps that line. Also. I feel, yeah, I feel like it's referenced in my

life at least once a month. This, not a joke, a couple of weeks ago, I had a driver named Paolo and Eva sent me the GIF, sing to me, Paolo. And then I sent it back to her the next day. So it's still being used, right? Um, I want to add to that, like it said city of seven Hills and I went, oh yeah, I

forgot Rome and Cincinnati are called that. Then I Googled, Googled it and I found a Wikipedia page. I was like immediately put in my place. It's called list of cities claimed to be built on seven Hills and every continent. That's like list of cities claimed to be built on seven hills and every continent. It's like a whole long list.

I was so embarrassed. Wikipedia put me in vice. I'm glad you said this before I said something. Cause when you said that, I thought about interrupting and saying, oh yeah, Cincinnati. Instead you said sing to me, Paolo. But you know.

Which was a much better. Yeah, it worked better a little bit. Anyway, I was like, wow, there's a lot. There's a lot. I mean, even just in the A's, let's see, Albany, New York, uh, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then it says since I have the A's. Wow.

Oh, I'm sorry. I well, no, but I skipped down and then it says parentheses now encompasses more than seven on the Cincinnati line. I feel like Cincinnati is just trying so hard to like beat everyone. Um, Dubuque is is that how you say that? Iowa?

I don't know. It doesn't matter. The point is Lynchburg, Virginia also. There's a lot. There's a lot. So that's embarrassing. Anyway, here we go. Wanting more than a bus ride to all the hot spots, Lizzie takes off on her own,

but must constantly stay on her toes to avoid having her high jinx being discovered by a shrewd worldly chaperone. While all this is going on, Lizzie has far deeper problems from a source she trusts completely and is headed for a fall which will have a negative effect on another innocent person. Way cool movie, Lizzie rules. End of review. Way cool is right. Way cool, radical. I do like that at the end, I do like that it was so specific all the way up until like giving Rome its nickname. And then it says,

negative impacts will occur to another character. Oh yeah. No spoilers. I respect it, you know, because anyone listening here, if you haven't seen the Lizzie McGuire movie, you're missing out. And I'm glad you didn't spoil too much because boy,

is that, is that, is that cinema or what? It is or what, but it's still a delight. Look, I, but actually unironically, I feel like I enjoyed that movie, which is rare for movies that I watched around that time with like you being my older sister. I feel like I was shunned a lot of media. Yeah, you had an innate like distaste for understandably things that I was very into. But then I've come around. So for example, S Club 7, you know, now I listen to S Club 7 occasionally,

because who doesn't? But back then I think I was pretty anti s club 7 jump 5 as well you got that signed jump 5 CD and I thought what am I gonna do this window because I don't like jump 5 and then mom threw our gameboy out the window because we were fighting so much anyway what am I gonna do if you die because like you're the only one who knows things like that about me well that's why I'm recording them on this podcast. Thank God. For future generations. That's, that's all this is about.

It's we, we make it seem like some sort of comedy thing, but really we're, we're putting our lives on, uh, on the record, you know? Yeah. It's actually archival in nature. Yeah. Yeah. Not, not legally. It's actually off the record. It's actually off the record.

It's all off. All off the record, if anyone's asking. However, this is archival in nature and you're just kind of there to watch it happen. So thanks. My turn now. I went and found this out by myself and then I saw an email from Julio

and I thought Julio's trying to take credit for something I already found. But Julio and I thought Julio's trying to take credit for something I already found. But Julio found it independently as well. So Julio gets credit and maybe someone else, but I didn't see any other emails. Yelp was created in 2004. Oh, okay. Wow. Which I didn't realize.

I wonder if John knew that. And the moment I found that out, I thought, uh-oh, that's trouble. You know? That is big trouble. That means that there probably are fewer reviews in 2004 than every single year after that. Um, but what I do have, uh, from this blog post by Andrea Rubin, Andrea Rubin, I'm not sure, uh, in 2016 wrote, uh, Yelper's write 100 million reviews and counting.

So back in 2016, they had hit the 100 million mark. And in the second paragraph mentions, the very first Yelp review was contributed way back in October 2004 by John B. for Kabuki Springs and Spa in San Francisco. Wait, John submitted this challenge. Is this the same John? by John B for Kabuki Springs and Spa in San Francisco. Wait, John submitted this challenge. Is this the same John? Is this the John? Gee, John B?

I'm going to say yes. John, we're reading your first review ever on Yelp. It is of all things a four star review, which for some reason cracks me up. It wasn't five. It wasn't one. It was, it wasn't three, like middle, it was a four. I don't know. It's a positive. I just, for some reason the thought of the first review was four. The only weirder option would be two, I think. Four is the second weirdest option to pick.

Yeah. As your first ever, the first ever, your first ever. So here is the four star review of this business that presumably is still open. It looks like it is. God willing. Which is fun because so many of the places that I found reviews for, they were no longer open. Four star review. Show up early and take advantage of their sauna, showers, and fruit bar before your massage. End of review. Fruit bar!

Very historic review, despite its- Do you think that's when they- It is historic. Do you think that's when they've installed- installed? That's when they created the new rule that you need to have like a certain number of characters? Because that's pretty damn short. I don't know if that would fly today. It was all John's fault. Like they were like, oh, we can't have a- They were like, man, the first review, he already fucked it up. No, I imagine that wasn't it. But yeah, it was. And the thing I think that is true for many of the reviews I read in 2004, not to beat that guy.

Maybe it's just because there were fewer overall to sift through, but I felt like overall they were so much more helpful. They were just about details. It wasn't about any, like people at that point, weren't going to Yelp to trash a business because Yelp was so small. I think that it wasn't in people's radar. And now that it's in people's radar, it's used as a way for people to either trash businesses for businesses to encourage, like they encourage people to now write

five-star reviews more. So there's a lot more filler. But a lot of the reads I read back then were just straight up, oh, it's located next to this business, you can get there this way. And I guess before, you know, it was just when I guess GPS wasn't as prevalent, so it's a lot of directional based things. You had your TomTom, essentially, and you had to figure your way around the world. It was a dark time as far as I'm concerned. But yeah, I guess.

If you were older, you certainly would have been in the dark. If you were driving in that year, you would have been completely in the dark. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Oh, and oh four, I would have ended up in, in Indiana at nighttime, which has happened many times. So yeah, in the dark indeed. Um, and I really do think, um, that Tom Tom was launched in 2007, by the way. Oh man.

Okay. We didn't even have a Tom Tom. We just had MapQuest printouts or maybe an Atlas. I don't even know when MapQuest, if Yelp started in 2004, when did MapQuest start? Yeah. So I thought you were looking it up. Oh, it was actually, wait, okay. It was founded in 1967 as photographic services. And in 1996, talk about the website pivot.

Talk about an Epic pivot that they then kind of failed because I was going to say, and then what happened after, but they're still, they're still in existence. Yeah, I know. It looks like they're owned by Verizon or something. Um, Oh, they, they help with business stuff too. Now they, I feel like they pivoted to not, that is probably successful that we don't know that good for them. Just like the elevators, people building submarines or something.

That's exactly it. It's like diversifier portfolio, as I always say, you know? Yeah. Anyway, where were we? Oh, you were just saying that they were much more helpful and like detailed back then, which I imagine also people, this sounds probably kind of silly, but maybe had more time. Like if they were on the internet,

it wasn't just like, I gotta work and check my emails. It's like, oh, I'm gonna go on this website. Like I'm gonna log into my internet and leave kind of a thoughtful post without just kind of frantically clicking through tabs and stuff. So I wonder if it was just more intentional back then. You know?

Maybe, maybe, yeah. We take it for granted now. Yeah, we do. Now I'm, now I'm yelping while I'm watching Netflix playing Runescape on the other monitor. I'm- And I'm still bored. Okay. So I have a review.

This is also from remember the triple decker. This is from John. It's of the Rosie O'Donnell show, um, written February 29th, leap year 2004. And the title is Why Bash Rosie? Although it doesn't have a star rating cause it's just a, like a IMDB post, I think. But, um, it is, I, I'm going to go with negative. Um, cause I can't just start with two positives and it would sound better. Okay, here we go.

I'm not the biggest fan of the late Rosie O'Donnell show, which by the way. That's confusing. That is not a way to start to say a show is canceled. I Googled immediately because especially when you write, when you look at the text, show gets moved to the next line. So the first line of the text is I'm not the

biggest fan of the late Rosie O'Donnell. And that feels irresponsible to me. Oh, irresponsible. That's the exact word you should be using. Right. And in 04 even, well, she was 20 years younger. Okay. So at first I thought, what is this person's?

Okay. So they gave me a little bit of a panic, but anyway, let's go on. I'm not the biggest fan of the late Rosie O'Donnell show, but I obviously don't hate it as much as you guys do. Besides, if you're gonna lay into someone like that, at least cite more than two examples. It's not like no one else in the entire world

has made two mistakes. Anyway, I grew up with the Rosie show, so to speak. As a self-proclaimed child prodigy, I had hopes of being on that show one day. It never happened, and I can't say I'm overly disappointed, but it was something to look forward to. Basically, this was a show designed to appeal to the mothers who were at home with their kids as well as the kids that were either too young to go to school or just coming home. It's not easy to appeal to both audiences and they did an amazing job.

It was a noteworthy show if only for that reason. So was it the greatest show in the world? No. Am I disappointed it was cancelled? No. Did the cancellation have anything to do with Rosie coming out of the closet? Of course. I can handle the fact that you're a lesbian Rosie, but the world wasn't ready yet. End of review. Wow. Is that actually, I don't, I'm going to be honest, I know very little to zero about Rosie O'Donnell. Gasp. Was that, was it actually, I mean, not that I'm doubting it, but I just wasn't aware of the history. I don't know, but I do remember that it was a big deal when she came out and people kind of freaked. So I imagine that it very well could have been. I just don't know for sure, but I'm assuming yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

okay. Yeah. I wouldn't let's just say I wouldn't be surprised. Right. Okay. Um, I love how time capsule eat. It's, it's rough though. Cause I was what 11 this 2004,. Turned 11. So 10 to 11. So yeah, a lot of these reviews, I'm like, these references, I'm like, I don't know about this. Yeah. I mean, even just like, I mean, at least we didn't, at least we had more to look forward to than not being on the Rosie O'Donnell show one day. Like the fact that this person said, to than not being on the Rosie O'Donnell show one day. It like, the fact that this person said, I, as a child, I wanted to be on this show so badly.

And it never happened, but at least I had something to look forward to. It's like, what? What was the, what was the review rating? Uh, there was not really one on it, but zero out of one. Oh, here we go. Oh, wait, no, that's sorry.

Four out of 10 people found this helpful. Yeah, that's fair. They didn't really tell us much. No, they're just... I still feel in the dark. It feels wishy-washy. What's the theme of this episode? Okay, but you know what?

There is something that I do understand culturally, and that is Scary Movie 3. No! Oh no. Which came out in 2003. So first I was looking for reviews of films that came out in 2004. And I believe some people emailed things in as well.

I didn't read all those, but. Lizzie McGuire movie? I found it was, yeah. I found it was easier though to look at 2003 movies because a lot of the 2004 movies didn't have, like had a few reviews and then mostly in 2005. Anyway, anyway. So I found Scary Movie 3.

It actually came out in 2003, but here's a review from May of 2004 about it. And I'm glad I started with that John one that was like- So it was late. It was the late Scary Movie 3 at this point. This is, yeah, at this point it was, because at this point everyone's like, please kill this movie. This is, yeah, at this point it was like, because at this point everyone's like, please kill this movie.

This is, someone had to. I mean, I was certainly saying that. It was so stupid. I mean, they're all so stupid, but that's kind of the point, I guess. Anyway, so I'm glad I started with that John review that was pretty chill. And it was, you know, I don't know.

This one's just kind of a lot. It's chilling. No, it's just like really heavy. So just, there's a lot here. So just pay attention, I guess. Here we go. Two out of 10. Don't see this movie.

It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie.

It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see its move- Damn it! I got through so much of it. Okay.

Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. Don't see this movie. It's not good. End of review. Two out of five people found this helpful.

Good job. Who are you? Show yourself two out of five people. The only way I could cope was by doing a little background remix, you know, but I, I hate when you do this. It was, hey, I didn't write it. It was 10 lines. So I said, uh, and then each line had it twice.

So I had to say 20 times. Okay. So were you saying that you're glad you read the John review first because I had mentioned like, oh, it's too short. I don't know. Oh, okay. I was just being an idiot. Because actually the fact that we brought up like,

oh, I wonder if this is when Yelp instituted that rule of you have to do a certain number of characters. And nowadays a lot of people just copy and paste. So I wonder if IMDB already had that rule in place. You know what, maybe, but this was certainly excessive compared to some other reviews that I saw about scary movie. Okay, but I'm saying I think other movies around the time or around the same time about scary movie. Okay, but I'm saying I think other movies around the time or

around the same time about that movie were shorter than that. So okay, so this was far from necessary. Bummer. I was hoping to find some reason amidst the chaos but I guess not. There's no point to try to do that. That's why we're nihilists because of that. That's news we're nihilists because of- That's news to me about myself and about you to be honest. Oh well um keep up. Good thing we're archiving this. Okay so when I'm dead you'll remember I'm a nihilist. Okay this- I don't even know what I'm saying. What a relief that'll be. What a comfort in a dark time. Yeah, they really thought, like, whatever.

She wants you to remember she doesn't want anything because she's dead. Okay, burn all her tarot cards and stuff because, you know. Anyway, this is from John as well. This is the third of the Triple Decker hat trick. It is a review. Oh man, this is from John as well. This is the third of the triple decker hat trick. It is a review. Oh man, this is a redemption. I'm sorry.

John, what have you done? I thought you said that you were doing a negative because there's going to be another positive. You know, I said, because the first one was positive. Yeah. So you want to do a negative, which you just did and now you're doing a positive. Yeah, but see the second one, I was saying it could go either way. Oh, did it end up being positive? What was it again? It was Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, that one was a lesbian.

Am I mad that you're a lesbian? No, but everyone else is or whatever. So I said, let's just go with negative. It doesn't sound too positive to me. No, it doesn't. But I mean, they are a child prodigy that hope to be on the show, so. Aren't we all? Yeah. No, them not.

Amen. Okay, this is our view of Sex and the City. And it is a positive review, so redemption music, apologies. This show is heading off soon or already has. Whenever it hits blockbuster, I gotta sit down with my sis and watch it. Their relationship is so funny. I love all these women. They remind me a lot of the Golden Girls. Carrie is such a nervous twit, but lovable.

Samantha is out there, but honest about it. Charlotte is reserved, and we can respect that aspect of her like you can respect Sam's liberality. And the redhead? I mean what's her name? Darn. Um, I'm seriously thinking too. Okay, Miranda had to go back and check other people's comments to find her name. She's a cynical jaded one of course but still manages to get some. They can seem very flighty and ill-informed as a group of women but their honesty is refreshing. They often act like 20-somethings instead of their age, and that can be unnerving. But for the most part, they're cool peoples. I don't necessarily agree with half the things they do, but it changes people's minds about how some women behave from four different

angles. End of review, zero out of one people found this helpful. I'm inclined to agree. I don't know. There was a very little substance there, but there was- It felt like they needed a Buzzfeed personality quiz before it existed. They really wanted to take a quiz about like,

just with pictures of like what the different women, what shoes they would have worn and stuff. And she would have taken this quiz because it seems like that's what she's trying to bring here. And it's not working for me. And I was just so rude about that review, but now I'm I'm thinking about it. And I feel as if I would have done something similar because I like we talked about in the reality TV episode.

When you watch something, you want to talk about it. You want to tell people what you think about all the characters. And in, back in 2004, you have this opportunity to hop on the internet and talk about it there when people around you maybe don't watch it. Well, that's a great point because, because they even said, oh, I want to watch this with my sister, my sis, but I have to wait till it hits the local blockbuster. So it's like, you can't even just like pull it up

and watch for kicks or you can't just invite your sister over, watch it. You got to wait for blockbuster to stalk it. Oh my Lord. Imagine living during that time. Dark, dark times. I can't imagine what it would be like if I'm opening a blockbuster door and taking my toenail

off. I wouldn't even know what that's like. You ruined that day and you also ruined every day that you bring it up. So thank you. You're welcome. That's like, look, I experienced that awful thing. So I'm allowed to for the rest of my life, bring it up. I feel as if that's a fair trade off. I gave the, I gave Blockbuster and the world my toenail and then in return I get to talk about the fact I did it for the rest of my life. Here's what I'll say is that I, I think it's lost on you and most people that I also had to experience that

event. Yeah, you can talk about it then too. You can, I would even let you know. Yeah, yeah, you can talk about it. You can, you can use my trauma for, you already do. You can use my trauma for your personal gain, your personal stories if you'd like. Don't pretend as if it was your toenail. Can you sign what I just sent over just so we have it on paper? Oh yeah, an e-signature? That's fine. I can, I'm really good. I'm really good at those. Um, okay. And, Oh, speaking of all this, well not the toenail stuff, but thinking back to the, um, watching something, I'm watching suits right now. I was about to start watching suits. Christian, please don't hurry up. I need to watch this.

I, I, I, wait, okay. Let me, uh, let me fax the local blockbuster. I want to see if it's available. Could you imagine if like Redbox has it and you're like, it's on Netflix. You just like go to Redbox and like pay for, I wonder if Redbox has TV shows, probably not. Anyway, but no, I'm on season-

If they have a box set of suits and Sex and the City, I doubt it, but maybe. I'm on season, I think seven, which is a second to last season. I'm on whichever one's a second to last. I'm flying through it because it is so good, but it's so ridiculous. It's so stupid. It's so bad. And in the best ways at times, like the storylines.

I think Netflix has been promoting it or something, because I added it to my list recently. There's been a resurgence and it's talked about on TikTok. I'm watching because of TikTok. I saw clips of it. This looks like harmless fun. And it is. It is really fun to watch. But some of these choices that these characters make, I saw clips of it. This looks like harmless fun. And it is, it is really fun to watch. But some of these choices that these characters make, I'm like, this is insane and ridiculous. This is not gonna happen ever.

This is never a thing. And this is not how lawyers do things, but you gotta just accept it and not judge the quality based on that. Just accept, like, yeah, take yourself out of that and just be in their world. It's like their own world. But I really wanna talk about it. So I told like, OP, take yourself out of that and just be in their world. It's like their own world, but I really want to talk about it. So I told like O, P and D so much and I just like every episode I, if,

if they're around, I'm like, this just happened. And I'm talking to them. They don't give a shit, but it's nice to have someone to listen to you about the ridiculous shows. You're like, so my point being, I understand. Afterward, I got a text from Dee that said zero out of two people found that helpful. And I said, what is she even talking about? And now I get it.

Now I know what she meant. Now it makes sense, yeah. Yeah. Okay, it's my turn, right? Yep. God, you're such a Miranda. I've never seen that show. I've never seen a single episode of that show.

So I don't even know what that means. Someone told me, I don't know which one it was, but someone but someone said oh you're definitely like this and name one of the characters I'm like, I don't know what that means. I get one too and I probably probably um It seems like a fun show. Maybe i'd like it. I am now going to Tell you a little bit of my strategy So when I was looking for these reviews,

I was trying to find businesses that were like really old, as in really old, as in existing for 20 years. And what I would do then is I would take people who wrote reviews in like 2005 and 2006 and open their profiles to see when they joined Yale. And so I opened a bunch of Yale profiles and just went through to see any, and so many people either hadn't or they're not showing up.

Like they're not showing up on these things. So it was really annoying, but I did find Joan. And Joan S, no, no, uh-oh, Joan S is great. Joan S from Los Angeles. I meant it more like here comes trouble. Here comes trouble indeed. Joan S has been a. I meant it more like here comes trouble. Here comes trouble indeed. Joan S has been a Yelper since October, 2004. And I went through six pages.

That was the month it started, right? Cause John's review was October. Wow. So Joan has total now written 1,674 reviews. Good job. Joan has included 19,136 pictures. Oh my God. Yeah, Joan's really an impressive yelper. Hasn't yelped since 2020,

so I'm really nervous about that, but I'm gonna just pretend that Joan has just done the yelp. Fingers crossed, God willing. And maybe went to TripAdvisor, got a better deal there, got some sort of brand deal. Yeah, she got, what's the word? Sponsorship? No, when another team like comes in and swoops in and takes your player.

Like from a trade, did they get dropped and like took them to free agency? Like a waiver wire kind of thing? What are you talking about? Like they steal them. Took them to free agency, like a waiver wire kind of thing. What are you talking about? Like they steal them. Okay, yeah, Joan got stolen. She got drafted. That is not stealing from another team. You know what?

I'm just gonna go ahead and read some more things. Ratings. Poached. Signed in, poached. Yeah, she was poached by TripAdvisor. They came in and said, we're gonna lure you in and you're gonna come to TripAdvisor. No more yelping for you.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Joan has written 19 one-star reviews and 910 five-star reviews. Yes, Joan! Joan is, it's crazy. The ratio is perfect. Yes, Joan. Joan is, it's crazy. The ratio is perfect. Anyway, so Joan's great.

And Joan hit it hard. So right when Yelp was founded, Joan created an account, six reviews on October 23rd, 11 on the 24th. She's like, I finally somewhere to tell all of my thoughts and opinions. Mostly positive. And the fact that it was positive is so- One star, but like there were mostly five stars.

She's like, I just want to spread so much love. Thank you, Yelp. Yeah, like different businesses, like I assume that Jones used, well, obviously Jones used in the past, but like these businesses that just came to mind and the 16 on the 25th, 11 on the 26th, nine on the 27th. So within like four days, 54 reviews.

And I like- And that was like, and Yelp only had like 56 reviews total. So Jones was basically like the 27th. So within like four days, 54 reviews. And I like, and that was like, and Yelp only have like 56 reviews total. So Joan was basically the first one. Exactly. So the problem, quote unquote problem is that I don't, they were just good reviews. And like I said, kind of boring, but I have a couple. So this one is a five-star review, and I wanted to pick a couple that felt like they belonged in 2004. So here is one of the Swatch Store on Third Street Promenade in LA,

or in Santa Monica. And this is a five-star review of the Swatch Store from 2004. I have worn Swatches, Swiss watch, since their beginning. Swatches can be submerged in water and otherwise can take a real beating. And their colorful designs

are incredibly beautiful works of art. Every year there's a new collection, like fashion. They are not at all expensive. They only look like they are. I even collect vintage swatches. End of review. Wow. We got a little details about Joan's life.

But yeah, I thought that was a fun little. I haven't thought about that in that store. Well, it's closed. I don't know when it closed, but probably not. I mean, if, if it was there, when you were there, you absolutely would have gone in. I'll give you that. Like if it was still open. Absolutely. Thank you were there, you absolutely would have gone in. I'll give you that. Like if it was still open. Absolutely. Thank you. Oh, sorry.

I was like Joan, is she coming back? And then I forgot. She is coming back, but you gotta. Phew. But I accidentally put the same link twice. So I have no idea what my next review was gonna be. Oh, this is what happens when you use links, remember? This is actually a different issue that we haven't, you haven't criticized before. I know, it's a whole new issue. I didn't want to kind of point out that we have to add a second page to the binder of issues.

Binder's full of pages. Okay. No, no, it's only two. We're adding a second. Yeah, it's a small binder with two pages. Yeah, so it's full. Yeah, we're adding a second. Yeah. It's a, it's a small binder with full of two pages. Yeah. So it's full. Yeah. We don't have room for more issues, so please stop having more. Exactly. Thank you. Okay.

So this is from V, She Her. Uh, this is speaking of movies that came out in 2004, a review of Mean Girls. That came out in 2004? Should I have known that? Like this new movie? Is it like, were they doing it like 20 years? It didn't surprise me when I saw that, but well, oh, that's why probably that new musical and all that's out.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So I don't know if that's what I just said, cause I thought, oh, is that why they did that? I didn't hear you say that. Yeah. No, that makes sense then. 20 years. Crazy.

This is a one star review. So we're back in like negative territory here. Nice. And this is, yeah, it's on IMDB and it's called Parents Strongly Cautioned. I took my 10 year old daughter and her 9 year old friend to see this movie today. The trailer led me to believe it would be about a girl's struggle to be cool, while being prodded to join the math team at her new school. Instead, it had more references to sexually implicit content than I'd ever care to expose my child to in an entire lifetime. Parentheses, STDs, lesbians and whores. Oh, okay, I'm sorry, I have to stop. It says that.

I believe it, but what? What are you talking? Can you believe it? I love how, okay, I don't love it. Are you calling Rosie O'Donnell a whore? I cannot believe, and I hate it, that lesbians is sandwiched between STDs and whores. That's terrible.

That is, what, that's like one, okay, I'm sorry. I don't like the term whores anyway. You misunderstand, it's worse because it's a long list. Every concept gets its own comma, except lesbians and whores are in the- Oh, that's its own thing? That's its own little- What theians and whores are in the... Oh, that's its own thing? That's its own little... What the fuck?

Yeah. What? Yeah. Like first of all, what's wrong with either of those? I mean, okay, whore is not a nice word to put that, but from what they're... Come on. Come on.

Okay, I'll read the whole list. Live a little. And you'll see like how... I'm stressed. I'm just stressed, I'm sorry. It's just like blatant that they put lesbians and whores. Okay. Here we go. STDs, lesbians and whores, fugly sluts, and two large vaginas requiring oversized tampons, among other things. And then, so just to clarify, so that's a list and they put lesbians and whores.

Like what? Was that just maybe that's a direct quote? No, he says boo you whore. Okay, yeah. I don't think you're, whatever. Okay, so anyway, this is the end of it. It says, Why this managed to garner a PG rating in Canada is totally beyond me. Even in the US, it appears that all it got was a PG-13. Disgusting. This is definitely not fodder for the younger audience, be forewarned.

11 out of 36 people found this helpful. Hmm. 11? That's a lot more than I thought. Well, okay, but look, I'm picturing this person reading the newspaper to see what movies are out, because that's what we used to do. That's what our dad did, yeah. Yeah, and it was someone who wrote the Mean Girls description did not do a good job. Yeah. Just like a vague like one-liner of a girl is joins math team.

Yeah. And tries to be cool. They might've said the word raunchy or something, but I don't know. Or the word romp. A romp. A romp. The newspaper loves to call things a romp. Yeah. They love slamming things and they love romping. They love to slam and romp around.

It's true. Wow. That is... Yeah. And so then they show up and PG... Okay. I'm no prude, but the ratings back then were kind of wild. I mean, so many, I mean, the PG-13 didn't exist for the longest time. Um. Yeah. So this was PG-13 in the U S and I guess Canada being more, I don't know, international, worldly.

Their internet. I love that. It's like, Oh, that's international Canada. Like, I mean, you know, I don't know. I know what you're saying. I feel like their rules are different because they are more aligned with a lot of European nations than the United States in a lot

of ways, like drugs, et cetera, healthcare, et cetera. So, uh, also PG-13 ratings it sounds like, because it got a PG in Canada, but a PG-13 because we're a little more strict down here, apparently. Um, which I think PG-13 is like fair for mean girls, right? I think so. I would say PG-13 is like fair for mean girls, right?

I think so. I would say PG-13 would be like, I don't know what I would think of it as. Yeah, I don't really know, but that sounds good to me. I, I, yeah, I certainly wouldn't be an R rated movie. Well, except for all the lesbians and whores. Oh, the lesbians. I forgot about the lesbians. It's ridiculous. Okay. Oh, the lesbian. I forgot about the lesbians. It's ridiculous. Okay. Have you ever struggled with finding time to manage your finances? Yep. No, just kidding. At the end of a busy week, the last thing you want to do is spend time budgeting all of your expenses or

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Also, I wrote here, which I forgot, that this means today the kids are 29 and 30, those two friends. Weird. Wait. Isn't it? That's me. I was gonna say, maybe they listen. Is this your mother?

So I was like, yeah. How do you calm down? I don't think I should have been watching Mean Girls That I Love. No, it shouldn't have been. I don't think I should have been watching Mean Girls at 11. Not shouldn't have been. I don't think I would have understood most of it. I wouldn't have understood any of it. So it wouldn't have been fun for me. Yeah, I mean, and again, it was something

I was obsessed with. So I feel like you probably were not interested in watching it. Were you actually? Like, you watched Mean Girls in 2004? Uh, probably. I was like eighth grade, ninth grade. Oh, yeah. That's fitting. I think like eighth grade, ninth grade. Oh yeah that's fitting I think that makes sense. Okay that's true guess what I have good news

I found Joan's other review. Yay! This is the other one I was gonna bring and this one it happened to be on like page five six so of the reviews I went through a lot. The six page? Holy shit. Yeah. So this is page six. This is of the Leonis, Leonis Adobe- Page six. It's a romp for the ages. Sorry. Joan, signed Joan. Leonis Adobe and Plumber House Museum,

which looks to be open. Leonis Adobe, Leonis, L-E-O-N-I-S, Adobe, A-D- I S Adobe A D O B E and Plumber, P L U M M E R, House Museum. So- That is so many different words. And I thought you meant plumber, like fixing your toilet. So I was like a plumber, a house, a museum. Yeah, that's why I spell that word as well. I realized that that's a, it's a historic building. It is a garden.

It's a- I'm thinking it's a law office. I'm thinking it's a HVAC company. I can't even keep track. And now it's a museum. It's actually has been all of those. That's funny that you say that. Oh no.

No, it is a historic adobe. Do you know what an adobe is? Yes, it's a type of housing, right? Yeah, that is made by using organic materials. It's like clay. Specifically, but it's Spanish for mud brick. Mud brick, right? Yeah. That is made by using organic materials. Specifically, but it's, it's Spanish for mud brick. Mud brick. That's right. Yeah.

I was researching mud brick this morning, believe it or not. I don't believe it. It's not a joke. I know I weirdly do believe it because you seem very earnest about it, but that is very weird that that happened. I, because I Googled what types of houses did ancient Egyptians live in and they said mud brick houses. So I started- Oh, there you go.

Yeah. And then I Googled poisonous snakes in ancient Egypt. So, you know, I was doing a lot of things, but yes, I did. I was reading- Asp. Huh? An asp ASP? Oh, an asp. Asp. Isn't that one? I don't know. I just looked up pictures and then I looked up crocodiles.

Did you look up Schnappi? I don't have to look up Schnappi. I know I like watching that video. As the teens say, rent-free in my mind. So true. So yeah, it is, and so yeah, this was operated as a living museum now. It is in Calabasas, California. Why does everyone keep saying that to me? Like, I know what a living museum is. Em said this to me yesterday during the recording and I said, what is that? What is that?

Is that like? And they didn't say? I think Em said. Cause I'm Googling it. That's exactly what happened. I think Em was like, oh, I'm not totally sure. And I was like, why does everyone say that as if it was so obvious? Apparently there's one in Queens, a living like called living museum society.

Okay. There's like something in Salem, I guess, which is like a, they recreated a town. So I wonder if it's like, Oh, you walk through and there's reenactments happening. It's a type of museum which recreates historical settings to stimulate, oh no. I almost said to stimulate a past time period. What does that mean? Ooh! To simulate a past time experience, providing visitors with an experiential

interpretation of history. So yeah, it's like- I see, so it's more interactive. You feel like you're really there. Made to look as if, like how would you do? That is my dream. Do you know that that's what I do when- Like a period piece, but a museum.

That's what I do when I lucid dream. I say, I would like to see my neighborhood in the 1890s. And then it's like, bam, all of a sudden I'm like walking down cobblestone. It's so cool. Cool. Anyway, I want to find a- That's really weird, but cool. It was actually very scared, very weird.

Cause I, I felt very like, anyway, it doesn't matter. I felt like I was in a living museum. Here's a review of this living museum in her mind. In my palace, in my mind palace. Okay. Four stars. A very interesting historic place in old town Calabasas. This is a chance to see how people in the area lived long ago.

I took the tour of the perfectly preserved two-story former residence and it was fun. Kids will like the animals on the grounds. Sheep? Horses? Big bulls? With horns? Steers? Do I sound like Jessica Simpson? She and Nick do live nearby in Calabasas. Maybe it's contagious. End of review. There's something in the air. That's also where the Kardashians live, by the way. Yeah, see, that's the thing is nowadays, that's what-

Oh, that's right, Nick and Jessica? Updated to the, do I sound like a Kardashian? Like being, I don't know what this is called. Like when, what's her name? Kylie doesn't know how to use a knife or something. Oh yeah, cutting, yeah, I don't know what it was. Something. Um, but yeah, I feel like that could be

transplanted now with like modern. A cucumber I think it was. That was, it was a wild technique to cut a cucumber. Yeah, it was uncomfortable to watch. Technique is a, is a generous word for that. Technique is a gen, yes it is. Wow. Um, that's pretty, that's pretty wild.

So they, Nick and Jessica, you really got me there because I've been watching Love is Blind also. And so you just see Nick and Vanessa, it's just like, wow, wow, what a time capsule. I wonder what Joan thinks about all that. Like that's so fun, this time capsule, these reviews. That's why I found that one particular. If she hadn't gotten poached.

Or picked that one. True, she gotten poached. Or picked that one. True. She got poached. Maybe we'd know. She got poached by. Trip advisor. When, no, I thought you meant Jessica Simpson. Oh, I don't know.

That makes a lot more, yours makes a lot more sense. I just for some reason was still thinking Jessica Simpson. Designer shoe warehouse, because that is where I used to purchase all of my Jessica Simpson brand flats for school. Oh, I thought her boots, they were made for walking. Oh, that too. Yeah. She did sell booties. Okay. So this is also from V and it is a review of another film that came out in 2004 that was very popular. That was our definitely our era. Anchorman. Passion of the Christ.

Oh, that's what I meant to say. That's also true, unfortunately. Okay, here's a one-star review of Anchorman. It's on IMDb and it's called redefine. Sorry, weirdly Anchorman coming out in 2004 makes a Fine. Sorry, weirdly, Anchorman coming out in 2004 makes a lot more sense to me than Mean Girls coming out in 2004. Well, I feel like Anchorman was almost,

I hate to say it, but I feel like Mean Girls is a more timeless film for our era. Yeah, no. Anchorman was kind of in its, it had its moment and then it kind of. Well, it also took place in like the seventies or something. So maybe that's part of it too. But then I would think that that would make it even like more timeless.

So I don't know. Yeah. I think you're right though. I wonder if it just didn't last. The humor didn't last. I don't know. I feel like if I watch it now, maybe I'd be like, oh, it was maybe funny 20 years ago. But I don't know.

I still laugh at references to it sometimes. I've seen it. I mean, my wedding hashtag was literally, I love lamp. It was one of my wedding hashtags. I mean. True, true. So you're referencing it, but I don't know. Something about it feels that makes sense that

year and the Mean Girls feels, does not feel as old, but anyway. I a hundred percent agree with you. I, I really do. So this is from V, it's called Anchorman. No, it's not. The movie is called Anchorman. Jesus. The title is, Redefines the Word Bad. What in the heck did I just watch?

I love Will Ferrell, so I have no axe to grind in that regard. But I just got back from watching this debacle in a packed theater and I'm dumbfounded. This movie transcended bad. Shrouded in a very thin plot, it was nothing more than a staccato string of inane jokes and the sure sign of a crappy movie, a number of surprise cameos. This stunk of one of those alum films where a bunch of actors, and I do use that term loosely here, get together, fill out roster spots, and ham it up for the camera. Any one of those roles could have been played by one of the other actors, and the reason that you saw a star of Christina Applegate's stature in this movie is obviously because no other actress with a shred of dignity would have

accepted this script. I laughed out loud one time during this film, and oddly enough, I was the only one. When the announcer is paid off by Ron and he says, that was Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee, I guffawed out loud, only to be stared at by those who sat in stone silence around me. That's the line. That's when you know your review of something is not maybe the most universally held review. If you're the only one who laughed at a certain joke, you're probably not going to find everybody relating to your review. I'm sorry, and that's the only joke that made them laugh in Anchorman.

And this is written in 2004, so they saw it presumably in theaters. They did. They said in a packed theater. Oh, you just said that literally. Okay. Yes. What? I'm sorry. That's the one line? And it's at Tits McGee. Exactly. Come on. It's a very immature movie and there are jokes that probably are just not good and whatever. But that's the one? Like that's the joke? That seems strange. I find that unbelievably unrelatable, as does everyone else in that movie theater, like who looked at him and was like, why are you laughing?

It's almost like humor subjective, which we know isn't true. As much as I'm a nihilist, There is one thing that does matter to me. And the proof of that is part of your nihilism. Yeah, that makes sense. Um, my thinking was we, as far as I know, we only have five star reviews cause I've never read anything worse. Uh, so yeah, everyone loves ours. So, um, ergo facto,

ergo facto quid pro quo. Cornelia Puella Agricola. Okay. So who? Puella Cornelia. Puella DeVille. Why is it so funny? You know, Cornelia, Latin textbook. What's that book called?

It's called... What? Are you serious? What's that Latin textbook? Agricola sounded familiar from Latin. Is that like farmer? How did you get a better grade than me in Latin? And I remember four whole words.

Oh, it's called Eche Romani. Do you remember that book? Eche Romani, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. So one time Em said something like, I know Latin and then said that's one sentence that we all had to learn, which was like, La Puella

Cornelia S, I don't know, at the O'Grickola, the farm or some stupid sentence like that. I'm just like blurted it out and I was like, you just touched a weird distant part of my brain that like has not been like alive since 2000. Has not been touched in years. That's the way we're putting it. But sure. I started that. Yeah. I didn't like where it was going, but I couldn't. I didn't either. You, you did call out my lack of Latin.

What I have remember, what I have memorized, I mean, what I do remember is this much. Should I call out your lack of English too? Pater nos ter, qui est in Cailum et in Terra. That's all I remember. That's like the start of the, our father in Latin because we had to say it every single fucking morning along with the pledge of allegiance in Latin. Every single-

Oh, the pledge of allegiance in Latin. God help us. I forgot- Every single morning that we had Latin class. Fuck that. Now you're going to Google the... Oh my God. This is so annoying. What is wrong with our school? Okay. I just actually do a picture of the textbook.

Oh yeah, this one. Oh, hilarious. And so Cornelia was from that. Anyway, I don't know why we talked about Cornelia. I forget. Oh, here. You just said it, Christina. I'm still confused. No, you said something. Didn't you just say it? What did you say?

There's no way I said anything relevant, did I? I don't know. I do not remember. I don't know. Okay. Oh, yeah, you, I said something stupid and you said quid pro quo. I said, ergo facto.

You said quid pro quo and then you just kept going. Like, what? That's right. You said quid pro quo and then you just kept going. Like what? That's right. You said Latin first. So anyway. I guess. I'm gonna read the last two lines of this.

I don't think it's even a phrase. Ergo facto. I just made that up. I think. No, you didn't. What does it mean? Do you guys remember when Alexander told everyone that he invented? I hate where this is going.

A phrase called like a literal, well, ipso facto. Yes. Okay. I didn't say ipso facto. I just said ergo facto, which is not a thing. It says ergo de facto. I didn't say that. Okay. I don't know. This is, can I just, this review needs to end. I can't live any longer with this in my high, my high.

You're in your what? In your what? Excuse me? What were you saying? In your what? Hello? Oh my God. Okay. You're gonna start a Zoot Zoot riot if you're not careful. Oh my god. Okay.

Sorry. Uh, the last two lines of this. The highlight of this movie was the milk dud fight that broke out between two bored teenagers at the front of the cinema. Save your money, folks. It'll be at Blockbuster by noon tomorrow. Remember when that was like an insult? Yeah, like, oh, well, that I mean, now it's like, well, then it was like the DVD bargain

bins or something. I feel like that. Yeah, yeah. Or straight to DVD and never in theaters. Which is crazy to think in hindsight about Anchorman, like that this person thinks that way. Not because that might be their opinion, their view of it, but they did not. It became kind of a seminal film for our age, I thought, at least with most of my guy friends I knew. They loved that movie.

Yeah, yeah. It was like, it became a cultural phenomenon to like within her, for high schoolers or something. At least for our group. And I wouldn't add that 37 out of 80 people found this helpful. Yeah. You know what's fucked up? Well, okay. I don't know much about it. I know I already, I said this and just, we moved on the Zoot Suit riots. Wasn't that a terrible thing that happened? I don't know, is it? I thought I didn't know.

I think it was like race related riots. Oh shit. But I only brought it up to reference the Cherry Poppin' Daddies and I don't know much of their discography, so. Right, right, right. That's the only song I know. Who, why did the Cherry Poppin' Daddies sing about that?

Why did they? That's like the moment I said, I'm like, hmm, let me go in a deep dive in my own brain about cherry poppin' daddies. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is a really... Was it that bad? The Zoot Suit Rides were a series of rides that took place from June 3rd to 8th, 1943 in Los Angeles involving American servicemen stationed in Southern California and young Latino and Mexican Army city residents. Oh dear. The white Angelinos attacked and stripped children, teenagers, and youths who wore zoot suits

to be unpatriotic during World War II. Oh my gosh. Whoa. Okay. Wow. All right. That's upsetting. Why did they write a song about it? I don't know. And why was it so peppy? It's such a fun song. That's upsetting. Why did they write a song about it? I don't know. And why was it so peppy? It's such a fun song. That's upsetting. I don't know. Anyway, let's move on. My bad. This next one is from Jess. This was a review that was the first part was written in- Alexander. I'm so sorry. You're reading more? I'm sorry I brought this up. No, the song. But I'd rather us learn. The song.

So I can stop referencing the song. Who's that whisper, this is the lyrics. Who's that whisper in the trees? It's two sailors and they're on leave. Pipes and chains and swinging hands. Who's your daddy? Yes, I am. It's literally just about the riot.

Like, I mean, I guess with that title, what else would it be about? But like throw back a bottle of beer Zitsu riot riot pull a comb through your cold black hair. I will say you get plenty of I mean what? Teenage dirt bag by wheat us was about A killing of a one teen killed it, like I said, I think 17 year olds like killed, one killed another on Long Island somewhere.

So yeah, okay. Songs are often about really dark things. I just, man, that is, hmm. I don't know any other songs though about dark things. It brings attention to it, I suppose. Well, it didn't. You should know songs about other things. No, but- You, I suppose. Well, it didn't. You should have had songs about other 10, 20 weeks. No.

But- You've been listening to a lot of like Coco Melon soundtrack and stuff. That's true. I forget there's anything else in the world. Anyway. I'm gonna read a review sent in by Jess, and I'm gonna read the original review,

which was a negative to start. And then I'll read the update and tell you what year it was. But the first one was written July of 2004 and this is a review of the album License to Chill by Jimmy Buffett. Oh God, okay. And this was a three-star rating. I will say it was a negative though. Here we go.

Jimmy Buffett and sorry to interrupt immediately, Buffett spelled correctly the entire review. I want to give this reviewer the credit that they deserve because as we know from our Margaritaville episode, it's not that common for people to spell his name correctly. Jimmy Buffett has long been a country singer in Beach Comber's clothing, perhaps hiding his country twang for the sake of Margaritaville success. Those Buffett fans who are listeners of country music will likely applaud this effort. Parrotheads who prefer Margaritas to Jack Daniels will likely be disappointed by the strong country influence, especially on the many duets with country headliners. As a 20 plus year fan of Buffett ballads,

The Captain and the Kid, Havana Daydreaming, Pacing the Cage, Someday I Will, If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me, When the Coast is Clear, Changing Channels, et cetera, this CD offers only one addition to the stellar history, which is disappointing, especially given the two year span since his last release. All in all, the songs on this CD sounded better on the third or fourth play as the Country Shock wore off, but Licensed to Chill likely won't end up at the top of my Buffett CD

stack in terms of longevity. Those afraid of being disappointed by this CD might consider putting off Buying It New and picking up a once-or-twice- once or twice listen to you CD from an unhappy seller online. As I've got to figure there will be a fair number of those coming up for sale, even though mine won't be one of them. End of review. So to summarize, they were like, you know, too country for me. Uh, not into it. Uh, I won't, I won't donate it myself, but they're probably going to be a bunch in the donation piles because this is what we wanted as a pair of heads. Wow. Oxenor, I don't think they said donation piles. I think they said selling them on the internet.

I don't know why I thought it was donations. I literally just read it. Which is, this feels again like very, very time capsuley because to have, I mean, the only thing that probably would have made it more obvious that it was an 04 is like, oh, selling your CDs at like HTTP colon slash slash Amazon.com, the new website, you know, I feel like, uh, but it's very telling. Actually, when I went to college, the year I

started college, 09, I bought 12 Matchbox 20 CDs off of eBay. Oh, 12? Yeah. Why? I don't know. Of the same CD? No, no, no, different Matchbox 20 albums.

I was like, what? Why? No, no, no, no. I had a, I love my Matchbox 20, as you know, my Rob Thomas, but I don't know why, but I remember like two years later going, why did I buy a bunch of CDs on the internet? Like it was so fast that it was irrelevant to buy a CD on the internet because like I had an iPod,

but you had to get the CD and burn the songs to the computer. I don't know, whatever. But point being even in 09, I was buying CDs on the internet. I was probably the last one, but. I mean, I, you know, that makes it, and I, it's funny because Joan, who wrote all those reviews in 2004 on Yelp in October, one of her reviews was of this place

that sold things on eBay for you. No! So this is really a very, another time capsule-y one that I almost brought because it was just very like, oh yeah, I didn't want to have to deal with figuring that out myself. So I brought it to them. It's like a broker, like an eBay broker.

Yeah, which it's funny because that's like what our parents or like our mom would do is like, hey, if you sell this on eBay, I'll give you a cut. We were the broker. Because she didn't want to be bothered with it. And nowadays I'm like, yeah, kind of, I don't want to be bothered with it either. Well, it's like yeah, kind of, I don't want to be bothered with it either. But it's a lot easier now than it was back then.

It is true. That's true. But honestly, even just sending your stuff to like ThreadUp or those places, like they do that now. They like list stuff for you. So I wonder, I mean, I don't know. I wonder if that guy still has the CD and if it's dusty or if it gets any use. I just love the also the reference to a CD.

It won't be at the top of my CD stack. I'll relegate it to the bottom. And I wanted to go through because they mentioned Country Shock because I said that there are so many, there were, you know, country artists who were duetting. And I want to list some of them because it was Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith, George Strait, Martina McBride, Bill Withers, Nancy Griffith. So just a bunch of just, I don't know. It's really fun to read those and be like, oh, okay. Toby Keith. Yeah, that feels like very, Jimmy Buffett, Toby Keith, and the fact that this was a new record,

it's just, it's a fun, I don't know. Yeah, and, but now I have an update for you. Oh, okay. Oh, right. Mm-hmm. So this was updated eight years later in June of 2012. Okay. Oh my God. So remember how this person mentioned longevity.

That was probably after I bought all of their CDs off of eBay and they were like, finally I got rid of all my Matchbox 20. This is from June, 2012, and they upped their rating from three stars to four stars. So this is a positive review I'd say. As the years have passed, my opinion about this CD has changed and I like it much more than when it first came out. In fact, what I described in my original review as country shock, referring to the duets with

prominent country singers, I now credit with inspiring me to listen to country music as much as any other genre. Before License to Chill, I listened to very little country music. Looks like Jimmy knows best after all. End of review. Wow. As what? Not only to like have that frame of mind to be able to reference the CD and think, wow, that really influenced my, but then to go back and change your review from 2004, eight years later to tell all of us.

I'm so happy that you'd wanted to tell me. And only four people found it helpful, officially five now that I clicked the helpful button. Six officially, but no, six unofficially, but five officially. I was going to add too, like I imagine over time that the CD was at the bottom but no, six unofficially, but five officially. I was gonna add too, like I imagine over time that the CD was at the bottom and like it slowly started to kind of get higher and higher on the rank, you know? And then at a certain point, eight years later, he was like, man, this one out of all my,

and then he thought back, hey, wow, I should probably go update all those four people that are waiting. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty, that's pretty powerful stuff. Yeah. So thanks Jess for sending that one in.

That was my last one. Okay. So I have another one from V. This is of Anchorman again, written Christmas Eve, 2004. It's a one star review and the title is OH MY GOD. Disclaimer. I have no life, no living relatives, and am offering this comment on 122404 with little better to do.

With Anchorman, Dreamworks has officially cemented their move from the entertainment to the fertilizer industry. All appearances suggest the transition will be smooth and a rousing success. Anchorman offers nothing for your money that could not be bested by alternatively setting the currency on fire in exchange for heat. I recall a dump I took circa 1970x that I would long to view rather than be subjected to another screening of Anchorman. Rarely in my opinion, IMO, has a more promising concept been so disastrously executed.

The script is atrocious. Many performances seem hackneyed and forced, and I'm sure the edit process would be found in violation of the Geneva Convention. Fred Willard is superb as the station manager, providing the film's few highlights that surpass those of the animal actors. Applegate, while becoming more attractive as she matures, gives her professional all and outperforms her most seasoned cast members. Alas, she falls short of elevating this film to the barely viewable category. A cameo by Susan Sarandon's husband adds nothing other than the recognition response. Ben Stillers adds only to the long list of mediocre films with which he's been affiliated.

This project in the hands of Kevin Smith could have been an all-time classic. Instead, it falls far below the lame, seldom amusing cheerleader skits Farrell participated in on SNL. If a more obvious whore for dollars movie has ever been produced, I am unaware of its existence. My only consolation is I paid zero dollars to screen this P.O.S. and wasted only my time, bandwidth, and some space on my HD, which will soon be vacant. The IMDB rating system is limited to positive numbers and therefore it is impossible to rate this in terms of absolute negative or I would. Any episode of The Simpsons offers more humor between commercials than this film does in its entirety. Don't miss this film

if you can't. End of review. Don't miss this film if you can't. Okay. Don't miss this film. If you can't. If you can't. What? Okay. I don't think that means anything. I'm going to move on from that. What I find funny about these reviews is they don't, they say too much to the point where it just doesn't age well.

Because if they had just kept it to their opinions, instead of making it a broader thing about DreamWorks, about these specific actors, first of all, like what the fuck was up with Christina Applegate getting more attractive? Like, why would you bring, what is that? That was fucking weird. Oh yeah, ew, cause she was like a child actor.

Ew, what the fuck? Oh yeah, she was, I actually didn't know that. But yeah, I still, regardless. I'm pretty sure. But yeah. Wasn't she in the Brady Bunch? Am I making that up? Christina, I don't know. I don't, I've never seen the Brady Bunch.

Me either. Didn't she play Rosie O'Donnell in the late Rosie O'Donnell show? Oh, sorry, Married with Children. She was in Married with Children. That is wrong. Oh, okay. Brady Bunch, I think was- I feel like those were very different time periods.

Am I wrong? They are. Okay, I don't really, cause I was like, man, she, yeah. She's not, no. Okay. I'm very wrong about that. I apologize. She was in Married with Children.

So, still a child actor. Okay, got it. A creepy thing to say. Yes, so creepy thing to say. But, and to comment on these actors and their success and their, I don't know. And their lack thereof. Ben Stiller and Will Ferret. Yeah, their mediocrity. The fact, and this movie, it's still referenced. It's still popular. And it's just so funny that it, they make their own reviews age poorly by making

it about more than just their opinion. By talking about Kevin Smith and how much of a genius he is. Hasn't he gone like really south? Like, isn't he totally QAnon now? Is he? I thought, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm, again, I could be doing a Brady Bunch married with children situation here, but I seriously thought there was like some

cancelable stuff with Kevin Smith. I'm actually quite pumped. Really? Oh gosh. I thought so. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I wouldn't know that. Okay. I could be very wrong. I don't know. I enjoy Kevin Smith's- I think I'm thinking of a different Kevin. I'm not even joking. What an uncommon name, so I understand. I think I'm thinking of a different Kevin. I'm not even joking.

What an uncommon name, so I understand. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm trying to think Kevin. Maybe, oh, I'm thinking Kevin James. Never mind. Kevin James, though? Is QAnon? Yeah.

Now we're going to go through this again. No. Christina, you're just... No, Kevin James. Kevin James has done some handsomable stuff though. I feel like most people have. I know, but- No, it feels like that's what it's becoming.

What? Are you coming for these people? Is this your thing that you're trying to do? I'm sorry, I don't know why I do this. I'm sorry. for these people? Is this like your, this is, this is, this is your thing that you're trying to do? I'm sorry. I don't know why I do this. I'm sorry. I don't know why I do this. I, I don't have problems with any of the above people and I don't know what's. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. I typed in Kevin James canceled on the internet says Kevin can wait was canceled and everyone's very sad. So.

It's tough to do that when you say canceled because it, they are often that word is often used for their projects. Should I put late? What? The late Kevin James? Oh, sorry. I got him confused with Rosie O'Donnell. Um, okay.

I don't know. I think that like, I really am taking this. Making shit up. Yeah. Yeah, up? Yeah. Yeah, probably. Yeah. She's reading. Her eyes are scanning her screen.

No, they're not. No, they aren't. Okay, well. I was just looking up snakes in ancient Egypt. Don't worry about it. Asps? I still haven't confirmed if asps. I'm not going to confirm nor deny that.

You look it up yourself. I told you, I just looked at pictures. Yeah. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. I'm not going to confirm nor deny that.

You look it up yourself. I told you, I just looked at pictures. Oh shit. I hadn't read what asps did. Oh, they're canceled for sure. The late asps have been canceled. Let's fucking move on. This is my turn for the challenge.

Oh, oh shit. No, I have more. Okay. Oh, goodie. Sorry. Side note, V wrote, hope you enjoy these, stay sandy. No, no, wait. You cannot say side note.

This is not, we've been only side noting. So this has to like, this is the main note. If you're bringing back to the point of this podcast. This is going closer to the core of the episode. So, so back on topic, uh, V wrote stay Sandy. And it kind of occurred to me later that, um, uh, Ron Burgundy in Anchorman says, stay classy, San Diego. That was like his tagline, stay classy.

So I don't know if he did that on purpose or not. This is from Lauren who wrote, oh, I think this is, nope, it is not. This is from Lauren who wrote, thank you for including my Pepperoni the Cat saga in the rest stop episode. I showed all my friends, LOL. They wrote the poem and all that. So for the 2004 reviews, I searched up what some

of the oldest review sites are. I found one called Rate It All and you can rate, I guess this is like before Yelp became the, uh. That sounds like trouble. Oxider? Rate It All. You're onto something. Rate literally anything.

Like your neighbor. Like you're onto something. Right? Literally anything. Like your neighbor? Like you can rate concepts. No. Yeah, and Lauren wrote, such as this review of gay pride parades. Not a specific gay pride parade, just the idea of having gay pride parades in general. This guy gave a thumbs up to gay pride parades.

Thank God. I was like, you cannot bring hate, all this hate. Okay, just for you. Well, okay. Chris, no. We already did, you did the whole lesbians and whores thing. What are you bringing to us? I didn't do any, first of all, I didn't do anything.

I mean, okay. This is a thumb- Yeah, but Kevin James is canceled. What is wrong with me? Okay. This is a thumbs up to the concept of gay pride parades, uh, written in 2004. We live in a democracy, so gays are certainly entitled to have a parade if they desire to be so.

What was said in gone away's previous post about fists and gerbils has little to do with this subject. I don't know if any of that stuff is true and I don't want to know TMI end of review. Um, and then by the way, when I, when, uh, to, if this is any consolation, when Lauren looked it up and sent me the link, some might call the hyperlink, I zoomed in on one aspect

of the link here. I'm gonna send it to you. And I took a screenshot of this particular term that I found in the URL. Just sent that over. Sort by least useful. Yeah, Lauren put sort by least useful. And that is how the link arrived.

That was certainly one of the least useful reviews I've ever heard. At the very least. they said, oh, uh, Lauren said the, the other review is gone. So we don't even have that context. Um, so this has become officially the least relevant, uh, or least useful review. I believe it. Yeah. Why, why is that a thing that people can review? Why is, why? Obviously it didn't, didn't get very far if we've never even heard of this website, but- Like, it's like reading news, or like Fox News article comments. Like that does not- I was gonna say, it's reading comments on local news articles where-

Like, it doesn't have to exist. And I know we read some shit, but like Yelp, and I feel like at least Yelp, it serves a purpose. Yeah. There's a purpose there. There's no purpose to leaving a comment on a fox. There's no purpose to like rating a concept. Like no one cares. What do you think?

Um, yeah. And that's why I just read it out loud. Sorry. Okay. I'm ending on a redemption. Okay. Thank you. This is from Erin Sheher and it is of the movie

13 Going on 30, which came out in 2004 as well. One of my favorites of all time, Mark Ruffalo. This is a 10 out of 10 on IMDB and the title is Kids Always Wish to Be Adults. Now We Are. Isn't that great? And when Erin sent this in, she was like, it's just a little, I forget what word she used, but like, it's a little weird. It's a little odd. So here we go.

There is something special about a movie that causes you to see life differently when you walk out of the theater, different in a good way. Not many films really do that, but this one did for me. I walked out and it was as if the girl I had been was transplanted into the adult I am now. It's great to have a car to drive, my own place where my parents aren't waiting up for me to come home. Great to have control of my life.

I felt in touch with the child in me again, appreciative of where I am now. It felt good. Jennifer Gardner brings an innocence and joie de vivre to this movie that is delightful. It was so much fun to watch. Definitely one for the personal movie library when it comes out on DVD. I'm glad too that I went and saw it in the theater. It was a fun night out.

End of review. Oh, that was a nice time capsule. And right. It was a fun night out. End of review. Oh, that was a nice time capsule. And it was a little much. I haven't, I don't know if I've seen, I feel like I've seen this movie, but I feel like it would have been years ago. Um, so I don't really remember. I watch it at least once a year. It's a very fun movie. It seems like a lot that review though. Oh, the review seems unnecessary. Like it's sort of like, as if somebody wrote about Freaky Friday, like, you know, it really

changed how I perceive, like, you know, it has a, it's like something wild, magical happens, but like the moral of the story, everyone kind of gets it, you know, it's like, appreciate being young when you are. I know, but so it's kind of like, well. It's like if you had a school assignment to write a paper about your favorite movie.

Like a book report or something. It's like a book report, but a movie report and you have to pick a movie and that's what you would write. And talk about how it made you feel or something. Yeah. So it felt a little intense. And I love that they clarified that they were an adult and had their own car.

I was like, that's nice. I'm proud of you. But I'm glad they enjoyed it. I'm not trying to shit on them. I'm glad it was an enjoyable time for them. I also forgot that I actually have one more thing. Uh-oh. Yeah.

So, Julio wrote in today and I had to add this to the end because obviously Julio found a cruise critic forum from 2004. Um, and to be specific, he found three, but I just picked one because I've already said so much today. Um, and this is the third of three that Julio sent over. It was posted July, 2004 by AJ Tigger and, uh,

it's called Weirdest Cruise Rituals. And, uh, they wrote, they wrote, think your cruise ritual is the world's weirdest? Post it here. Okay. So this is a review by cool cruiser R. Lazarski who says, we encountered the most obnoxious and weirdest group in our many years of cruising.

There is a large group of senior citizens who live somewhere in Florida who have this cruise club called the Pink Flamingos. They make t-shirts, all color coordinated, ugly door decos, and they all carry around an inflatable three foot long pink flamingo. Eek! It all sounds harmless until you have to deal with them for a 10-day cruise. I saw those damn birds at breakfast, lunch, dinner at shows, a casino, and even had a pink bird thrust between my legs on the elevator. I mean, really, this group was obnoxious. They also masked at the nightly shows, taking all the front row seats. Okay, first come, first serve, but when you look over at this group after the first act and they are all passed out cold, you wonder.

Just want to let you know, Mr. or Mrs. Pink Flamingo, my green frog is out to get your bird. Watch out for the next cult, the Fraternal Order of the Killer Frogs. Okay, so that's the first comment. I'm not okay. It's funny because they went through my thought process because they started listing things,

and I thought, that seems pretty harmless. And then they said, you might think this is pretty listing things and I thought that seems pretty harmless. And then they said, you might think this is pretty harmless. But I thought, uh-oh. They were narrating your mental gymnastics. Actually though, I was ready to say, oh, what's the big deal? They seem to be just loving flamingos, having fun, but it sounds a little disruptive.

And also I just wanna add that that was the first post on this forum or the first comment on this forum or like the first comment on this forum, or this post. And it was posted three weeks after the initial question was posted. So clearly R. Losarski was like, I need to vent. Where should I vent?

Yes. And they found this in the. Good thing they found it. Phew. Yeah. And then, so then Pam writes in about like, oh, I think I remember you and Linda have a cruise coming up. Then Finn Flapper wrote in, let's see. There's one more I wanted to read.

Okay. And then Rick, who's our Lazarskis Rick, by the way, commented back to Pam and said, say what? Eek! Love to hear from you, but sometimes I don't get a notification. Anyway, have fun on your cruise. We go in six more days. If Francis or some other storm won't cooperate. Not as lively as a crew as the last one, but getting them whipped up about the frog culture. Roll eyes. see ya, got my email, Rick. And then two months later. What are they talking, they're talking to each other.

Why do I have to hear it? That's what I'm, why do I have to hear about this? This is, there's two more. No. That's it. Okay, hold on, hold on. Charlene wrote, my weirdest cruise rituals are, exclamation point, exclamation point, just having fun on a cruise.

Okay. Wink emoticon. And Charlene looks to be about 99 years old. Good for Charlene. Good for Charlene. Her profile picture looks like an oil painting. Like look at this picture. And then just read the text. It does look like an oil painting. Like look at this picture and then just read the text.

It does look like an oil. I see what you're saying. Yeah. It's just like, you know, Charlene has been like cruising it up for a long time. Well posted 2004. Um, I see that. Oh, she's joined in 2000.

She's been on this 2000 man. Wow. Um, Charlene, good job. This is the last one. Okay. Mm hmm. Um, uh, this is by Marilee Meggoli. Oh my, good job. This is the last one, okay? Mm-hmm. This is by Marily Megoli.

Oh my God. Okay. It says, I don't think this one is weird, but it is a ritual for me. On the last night of my cruise, no matter who I'm traveling with, I find a quiet spot in a lounge all by myself and have a glass of champagne and some caviar. I have always enjoyed this little

custom of mine. Alas, on my last cruise, I had a horrific allergic reaction to the caviar. The whole nine yards, one eye was bloodshot, the other swollen, face swollen, throat closed, couldn't breathe. I had to run to find help. Luckily, the condition didn't worsen and I was okay. That's one tradition that I'll miss. Plus on my last cruise, I traveled with friends who have a two-year-old granddaughter, they brought her stuff duck with them on the cruise and we took him everywhere. Okay. So that was it.

That was the end. You're going to miss the ritual that made your eyes fuck up? Yeah. Cause she can't eat anymore. Cause she developed apparently a shellfish allergy. Allergy? It's not even shellfish. Seafood allergy, maybe. Fucking fish eggs. Like, you develop an allergy to that? That's just so bizarre. Maybe she said on the last day of every cruise, maybe she was cruising weekly. And so every week was eating just too much caviar

and her body was like, this is too much. We can't drink this much champagne and caviar. Oh my God. That was a, I think that was a Berenstein Bares book. Oops, like too much caviar. Too much caviar. That's the ones we read as children, of course.

I think Alexander, but I looked that up on Reddit and it looks like it was a Mandela effect because I couldn't find, or, or it was just like, one of our parents just drew it for us on a piece of paper. That might've been it. I couldn't figure out why. I could have sworn we had that on VHS though. I think we might have. I'll find it.

I'll find it if I go, it's at the bottom of the stack though. So I'll find it. Oh, it makes sense. Makes sense. Too many country singers guesting on that one. On the Baring St. Barres VHS special. Yeah, I agree. Okay, it is finally time for my challenge.

We made it, we all made it. Some of us made it. It was sent in by Clark to refine reviews where someone troubleshoots another reviewer's problem. And Clark themself had sent in a couple of reviews. Okay. So here we go. This first one, I believe this is a duo.

So yes. So it's a little confusing. So give me a sec to make sure I do this right. Um, because my notes aren't great. Um, I'm going to read one part of one review. Then someone responded to that review with their review. And then the original reviewer updated their review. Okay. Okay. Because when I sent this, I was like, this might be complicated with the

call and response type of... Yeah, I don't have all of the calls, but I have all the... In this case, I have call, response, and response to the call, response. Rebuttal. Rebuttal, yes. But that's not true for all of these, but this is just, Clark is, Clark knows what's up. Clark knows how to find these. So here we go. This is a review of iSpy Spooky Mansion CD-ROM. Okay.

So this was, it says platform, Mac OS 9 and below, Windows 98, Windows 95, Windows ME, Windows 2000. God, the desperation I would have had to own this. Yeah, and it was like scholastic. So you'll, I mean that- Maybe we did own it, I don't know. We might've, but here's the original review. It was a one-star review titled,

this game should have been off the market several years ago. And what's fun with these reviews is like, these are also so many of these were so old. Like this were from 2005 as well. So it kind of weirdly almost fit the challenge. Yeah, cause I guess now you don't need comments to do tech support for you.

Like you can actually call a number or Google it or something. Here we go. This game is not compatible with Windows XP unless your children are allowed administrator accounts on your PC. The reason for this is that the game was written for Windows 98 and has not been updated since, despite the indications on the box that it works with XP. Unfortunately my son was in tears after spending his allowance to buy this game at the school book fair because in our house kids do

not get administrator accounts. When I called Scholastic to request support, their only workaround is to run the game as an administrator. They admit it was designed for Windows 98 and that they didn't they haven't updated it because they quote haven't had enough complaints from customers to write a version for XP end quote. All this despite the labeling which claims it is XP compatible. You must run it as an administrator because the game needs to update the registry quote-princeses this is an extraordinarily bad program design decision for a children's game end quote- and parenthesis Every time it is run. I am perplexed at the numerous positive reviews of the game here

Either all of these reviewers are running obsolete versions of the operating system or their kids are given administrator accounts on xp Which is dangerous and foolish. Parents. Yeah. Basically what they're saying. Yes. Ah, beautiful. Scholastic will not refund your money once the box is open, even though the claim of XP compatibility is false advertising at Scholastic tech supports own admission.

My recommendation is that no one should buy this game unless they are still running Windows 98. No company should be rewarded for relabeling obsolete software and continuing to sell it as if it was current." End of original review. I'm so glad that day and that child's life is over because that sounds like heartbreaking and stressful. And your mom's trying to return the CD that, CD-ROM that you saved your money for and is yelling on the phone. And what I, so here's the thing.

I, back then on my current operating system, I mean, obviously I've, it's my own, do whatever I want with administrator access. I wonder how it was back then, if it was any different, because honestly, kids are kind of stupid and could fuck around with things and like find their way into your computer in a way. Like I weirdly don't disagree with this reviewer, but they might be a little dramatic about it, but like,

Oh, like to give them like administrator access. Yeah. I don't, I don't think, I feel like the kid could mess some things up, but I feel like you could just run it for them and Play and then play it on your account like trust them enough to play it just or just like watch them play I spy Yeah, it is a shitty if it was advertised for XP and that's this that's how you have to do it that seems shitty I'm not gonna lie. But anyway, here, no, we're at the response. Okay. This is a five-star review titled,

Fix for Running Under Windows XP. Do you know how much later it was posted? This was posted a full year later. Oh man. December 25th, 2005. The last one was December 4th, 2005. That kid never got to play it. Well, here we go.

Okay, go ahead. Okay. In reading the review from Angry Dad, I thought it best to give the workaround, which is not the person's username. Maybe they changed it, but that is not their username right now. Oh, no, maybe they're saying like, you know, when you submit like... But they did it in caps, like angry dad. I know, but you know how, when you are like

submitting a question to like advice columnist, you're like, and then they respond and say like, dear sad in the Sahara desert or whatever the fuck. And you're like, that's not my name, but they just like label you. Maybe that's what's happening. That's true. Maybe that's what it was.

They're like angry dad, we all know who it is. Which, yeah. In reading the review from Angry Dad, I thought it best to give the workaround for the running of this game under Windows XP. Warning, this fix involves setting a permission in the registry. Follow the instructions explicitly

and you will have no problems. I offer no warranty in these instructions and will not be held responsible for any malfunctions that are caused, either directly or indirectly as a result of this fix and warning. Now, that being said, in our household, kids do not get administrator access either. I found the fix to be quite simple though. Log into the machine as an administrator, start, run, registry editor, navigate the

following keys. HKEY LOCAL MACHINE, Local Machine, Software, Scholastic Ink. When you are there, right click on the Scholastic Ink entry and select Permissions. From there, highlight Users and give full permissions. This will allow the game to write to this single registry, Hive, whenever it needs to. I will be checking back to see if this has been helpful.

Warning, this fix involves setting a permission in the registry. Follow the instructions explicitly and you will have no problems. I offer no warranty in these instructions and will not be held responsible for any malfunctions that are caused either directly or indirectly as a result of this fix. End warning! Adam Norris MCSE MCSA and that means it's like their certifications like Microsoft certified something, something. MCSE is Microsoft Certified Solutions Expert.

MCSA is Microsoft Certified Solutions Associate. So like certifications you can get. Geez. Okay. So we got some nerds talking. But no offense. I wish I knew computers as well. It's easy, you just turn, stand on your head and smash all the keys at the same time. That's what I usually try. So here is the response, the rebuttal one might say.

This is a further comment to the review below since I can't respond directly to the posting above which describes a fix for Windows XP installation. I appreciate that Mr. Norris is trying to be helpful and his fix will work as described. However, it is an extremely bad idea for most people to make edits in the registry and should not be encouraged as a fix to get around false advertising and a game that should not be sold in its current form. Any mistakes, even a slip of the finger while making the edits, can result in catastrophe. Machine may not reboot next time, so should only be done with extreme care and by someone who knows what they're doing. My assumption is that most readers of these posts, and in fact most purchasers of game software for children, do not fit that category or do not want to take that risk. Do not reward companies that sell things to a general market that are unfit for

use and unsupported by the vendor. Do not buy this product period." End of review. End of rebuttal. So the rebuttal was like, it's the principle of the matter. Not really. They were saying, don't advise people to go into the registry editor. But second point was also like, by the way, it's not an excuse for shitty advertising and stuff.

Yes. Okay. And the thing is with the registry editor, that's something I've never been in. And I'm not saying I'm some sort of computer wizard, but I'm very loosey goosey with my computer. I do what I, like, I don't know. I've fucked things.

You built a computer. Yes, I could say that you probably have, you know a thing or two about computers. Yeah. And I've never ever fucked with the registry. Like I probably have, which goes to show how irresponsible it probably is. It's very difficult for you to do that. I know, but I'm just saying back when we had computers and I was trying

to fuck around with the settings, I'm sure I did some dumb things, but that doesn't mean you should do it. But yeah. So I'm like reading this, I was like, weirdly I am not, I get it. Like, I don't know. I don't wanna go in there. I don't wanna feel like I have to go in there to allow my kid to play an I Spy CD-ROM. That's kind of what I'm, yeah, they were like,

that shouldn't be the fix. It shouldn't have to be that complicated. Yeah, that's exactly, anyway. I'm sad for that kid. I hope, I wonder if now he like has some weird like internal issue and he like can't figure it out and it's just all stems from the CD-ROM. I'm sure I have some of those.

It's a bummer for this child. I will not. I know. I remember that feeling when a CD-ROM didn't work and to have like saved up your money and bought it at the book fair, it makes me sad. It does. It makes me sad too. I hope you got to play it.

Me too. If not, hopefully moved on to like the French CD-ROMs or whatever, the Tonka game. Oh yeah. There's so many other winners. So many good ones. Okay. My next one is one that I believe I found myself. This is of a review of the ultimate Portuguese basic intermediate parentheses living language.

Living language is the public publisher. So this is a Portuguese language learning book. And this review was written in 2002. I don't have the original review. I couldn't find it. They must've deleted it or deleted their account. But this is respond a response and there's some Portuguese in it. I'm going to try to do my best. Sorry. In advance, Portuguese is my native language I just want to help the reviewer from Bradford who is curious about the use of the word Maya when we refer to number six on the phone Maya is short for Maya do Zia that means half a dozen

The pronunciation of numbers three and six are nearly similar and could be easily mistaken one for another if hold on i've just messed up since i'm gonna start over the pronunciation of numbers three and six are nearly similar and could be easily mistaken one for another if the line were bad i think like telephone line yeah right the connection it's just a weird we don't we don't have the problem anymore as much where it's like, now, can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? 2002. Yeah. Um, remember in English, many say, for instance, two Oh nine and not two zero zero nine for 2009,

where we certainly mean the number and not the letter of the alphabet. And so on. I hope that helps. And of review. So yeah, so it was like weirdly like very interesting to me because when you consider zero and O, they're completely different and yet they mean the same thing in English. And meia means half. So it means half, like half a dozen. But when you're talking, you will say meia instead of sase is six. So it means half, like half a dozen. But when you're talking, you will say meia instead of seis is six. So you would say meia. So you would just signify like half a dozen, but half.

It means six, but like because it comes from half a dozen. Isn't that really interesting? Yeah, so they would say like, yeah, like 2009, they would say like two meia, meia, well, okay, different number, but like 2006, 2006, I'd say two-oh may-ya as six. Which is really interesting, and just such a fun little thing I got to learn.

That's a fun trivia tidbit. Yeah, so that was fun, and that was a little kind of troubleshooting. I don't know if troubleshooting's the right word for that, but trying to solve some problems. I would say it's troubleshooting, the right word for that, but trying to solve someone's problem. I would say it's troubleshooting. They even brought up a bad connection. And I think that phrase alone signifies troubleshooting.

Thank you. If you use that in a sentence, yeah, it's like you're probably troubleshooting something. Mm-hmm. So true. My next one is kind of a double whammy. This is in response to other people who helped them and a little tip to

help others further. So this is of a Juki Genuine Defrix Sewing Machine Oil. Oh, sure. I don't know. It's on Amazon. This is on Amazon. This is a review from 2021. I'm like a sewing machine oil. It must be another old one. Oh, God, I have jet, I have, I almost said jet lag, but it's not jet lag. I guess maybe it is. We flew forward so fast. Whiplash. But whiplash, thank you.

You're welcome. This is a five-star review of sewing machine oil. Sure. Thank you other reviewers for mentioning the bottle arrives sealed shut. I thought I just couldn't figure it out. Many offered the knife tip, but I figured I'd surely chop my fingers off.

I opted to heat the tip of an awl and that went through the plastic insert like butter. I made three holes to help with air escaping when pouring. It's not perfect, but my appendages are intact. I still had the original oil bottle that came with my sewing machine. I ended up pouring a small amount of oil into a paper cup and then I squeezed the empty bottle and basically sucked up the oil in the cup.

Again, not glamorous, but it worked well. Hopefully that will help the other reviewer that didn't know how to fill the empty bottle the basically sucked up the oil in the cup. Again, not glamorous, but it worked well. Hopefully that will help the other reviewer that didn't know how to fill the empty bottle the machine came with. I appreciate that the bottle can't leak in shipping, but surely there has to be a better way. End of review. Seven people found it helpful. Wow. That, I would find that very helpful, definitely. Cause sometimes I actually do go in Amazon reviews to see if there's like a tip or trick to something that I'm like not quite doing. Right. So yeah, I've found help there. Definitely. Yep. Makes sense. Um, all right. I have a last couple, um,

reviews. They're both of the same product. These are my last two, and this is the Sony ACNWUM50 Walkman USB charger with Walkman USB cable. It is literally a, um, that's amazing. A Walkman like power outlet thing. Does that mean like you can put your Walkman like directly into your computer to download? No, it's literally just to plug it into the wall to charge. This is just a charger. Yeah, it has like a brick in the middle that has a USB. So I assume that cable that comes with it could connect to the computer. I don't know. Anyway, this is a, there are two reviews, both from 2008. This first one is from April written by Ricardo.

One star. I suggest you save 25 to $30 by buying a music power duet or solo universal USB charger from Amazon. The duet is great. I can charge two NWZ series Walkmans at once. End of review. So left a one star review to be like, Duet is great, I can charge two NWZ Series Walkmans at once. End of review.

So left a one-star review to be like, hey, don't buy this, buy this thing instead. So that alone is meant to help. And then here's another one. One-star review by Craig titled Sony AC Adapter. Sony, why so exclusive? I'm just gonna help the other reviewer named Ricardo and say that the Music Power One does the same as this and it's so much cheaper.

Plus it also works for other kinds of MP3 players, which makes it 1 million times better. So go ahead and get that one, period. So they're not- It's another debating on like which product. Well, no, it's the same one. Oh, it is the same one. I think they're just like, they're saying help the other reviewer

by also providing the same advice to people. Oh, like I'll join that bandwagon sort of like, I'll, that makes two of us. They didn't actually help the issue really, but they're helping other people. So it's, I found two reviews trying to help other people by being one star reviews. He's like piggybacking on this other person's.

Yeah, like they bought, must've bought this and been like, oh shit, I should have listened to Ricardo. Ricardo knew it. He tried to warn me. And now he's like, joined another of Ricardo's apostles. And look, I'm not making this up. Eleven people found Ricardo's review helpful, and then one person responded to say,

Ricardo, you're right. That makes 12. That's 12 apostles right there. I'm just... And after people hear this episode, hundreds more, maybe tens. And then we'll finally have an alternate to the NRA, the National Ricardo Apostles. Wow. I've been looking for my own NRA for a long time. You have been. That's better than the original one. Man, and you've been struggling.

It's a low bar. I was going to say. Idea number 565. I'm going to put in the binder. I'm sick of this binder. I can't wait to throw it out after this episode. Okay. Everyone thank you for hanging out.

We're going to be like, what binder? Everyone's going to be like, your binder. We'll be like, what the fuck binder are you talking about? I was like, that was like an hour and a half ago. What? It feels like a different episode. I don't know. Oh, thanks everyone.

This was actually pretty fun though. I like this challenge or this theme. I love the challenge. This was fun. Speak for yourself. And I challenge or this theme. I love the challenge. This was fun. Speak for yourself. I look forward to talking to you all next week, but in the meantime, you can find us on Patreon, patreon.com slash Beach Two Sandy. Go to our store, beachtosandy.store to get some merch and follow us on social media, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, whatever, at Beach

Two Sandy. That's it. We love you. Love you. Bye. Beach Two Sandy Water Touette is a Forever Dog Production hosted and produced by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White.

Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bohem.