Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 281: Reviews of Mattress Stores

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

We dedicate this episode to all the productbristas who shop online and inside the stores. No pun intended. Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enthusiasts: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello! Hi! Welcome to episode 281 of Beeshoe Sandy Water Touette. This is reviews of mattress stores. This is one I suggested for once.

You finally won one. I finally won one. You won the people over. Thank you. Or maybe they just wanted me, they just let me have it. So either way. They let you have one. Thank you very much.

I'm excited for this one. What was your experience like, Sandy? People sent in some great reviews. That was my experience. Same. And oh, I did want to say your challenge, though, too, because you've got a good challenge coming up, huh? Sure, I do.

I can't find my notes, so you tell them. Well, it's from Lauren and it's reviews of a piece of media where the reviewer claims to know someone who was in it or worked on it. Oh man. Is so funny to me. Oh man, it's fun. Honestly, I'm actually like sad,

because after I got a few, I was like, we got to do this again, because like, possibilities are endless. Like the number of searches you can make, like my best friend is in this or like my mom made this or my dad, like the number of like possible or like my brother produced. I don't know. It could be so wholesome, you know, I don't know how it was, but I feel like it would be so wholesome to have.

And I felt like I had to stop myself from getting more and more. So I think we have to do that again. We have to revisit it someday. Sounds good. I wanna say one thing that I meant to mention last week. This is really wild and my heart is pounding because it's just something that I did not expect. But my, so I made like,

okay, I'm gonna go get the little card, but I made, okay, so I've had an Etsy store. Oh yeah, oh my God, we were supposed to talk about this, yeah. There was so much happening last week, and by that I mean two hours ago when we recorded it. There was so much in my past. I made an Etsy store when I was like, I don't know, 19 or something or 20, and it's just been kind of like stagnant, like it's just been sitting there. And then every now and then I'll make something like how we, uh, and Uxendr is always nice to have to put it in the show notes.

And I sold for a while, like little SVG files you can use on your cricket or whatever, I went down some bizarre rabbit hole one night and started designing all these bumper stickers. And so I kind of mentioned it. I didn't kind of, I did mention it on, and that's why we drink. And I kind of forgot that I had mentioned it. Like I knew enough what I was doing. I was like, okay, I have to prepare like in case

somebody buys one, you know? I've made over 600 sales since that episode came out. And I have had to like create, turn my office into like a sorting center and. I had no idea what that meant. Holy shit. I woke up on Easter morning and I was like, why do I have like 400 emails? And he is risen and he is risen and I'll show you Sandy.

I even had to run to staples and get a same day print order. That sounds so stressful. I mean, obviously it's a great thing, but like, wow. My therapist was like, you were clearly looking for an outlet and you found one. And I was like, yeah, I don't know why I looked at another job, but okay. Oh, I even bought like a label printer, like a thermal label printer.

Like I've lost my mind. Okay, so if you have ordered one of these or you plan on it, I made these little like, thank you things with, and I put a lemon sticker on each one and it has like a little card. Oh, that's so fun. I will say when I order an Etsy, that's one of my favorite things is the little personalized thank you thing that they send. Yeah. And I, so I made little, and I, I tape,

double-sided taped little lemon stickers to each one. They're all different. But anyway, so yeah, the best seller is this one. My other car is a hoop and stick and it sold out like within an hour or two. And then I had to order 500 more. Crazy. I feel like I cannot believe this is happening right now. I feel, and I think the reason I'm, I actually talked to my therapist about it, I was like, she's like, you don't seem all that stressed. And I was like, because I said I would donate, I think it's like either 30 or 50, I'm gonna probably make a 50% of proceeds to charity. So I'm like, oh, so it feels-

Now that you said it, it better be 50. I know, right? So I'm like, I just don't remember what I wrote on there. But I was like, oh, I'm gonna donate to RAIN, like the Incest and Sexual Abuse Network. That's not how the acronym works, but you know what I mean. And so I was like, oh, so I feel like I'm doing something like positive. You know what I mean?

It's, it's very fulfilling. So I'm very excited and it's fun to make little like creative, stupid stickers. And I'm just really honored that people are buying them. So I don't know, just like a little plug for my own, for my new side hustle that nobody asked for, but I'm having a good time. No one asked for any of our plugs, but we pulled them anyway. That's why we're here.

We won't stop. It's just out of control. I think you should. Yeah, that's great. Now plug it accurate, like fully. And I'm also learning how to do tarot, so soon I'll be offering those as well. I'm just all over the place.

Okay, now plug it actually. You haven't said what it is. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right, I haven't. It's called, what's it called? Hold on, now plug it actually. You haven't said what it is. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right, I haven't. It's called, it's called, what's it called? Hold on, let me find out. It's called the XTeen files. It's like it's literally on the card

you pulled up and showed me. It's right in front of you. Oh, that, wait, I just realized the card doesn't have the link at all. But it's called the XTeen. That's okay. Okay, it's called the XTeen files. If they're ordering from you,

they already had your link, I think. That's true. Etsy.com slash shop slash the XTeen files. If they're ordering from you, they already had your link. I think. That's true. Etsy.com slash shop slash the XTeen files. And yeah, there's a few, there's six options on there. So, you know, check it out. The first thing I thought was, man, your fans will eat this up. Like this is perfect.

I mean, I'm just so impressed. I felt like maybe a couple of people would. And I was like, oh, that'd be cool. And then all of a sudden it was like, you've earned a badge for 600 sales. And I went, what the F? Sorry. So that's my- Good job. Exciting. I didn't know that. Was that many until now? Like I had no idea. You didn't tell me that. This kind of happened like Sunday, Monday. So it's like all, and we're recording this Wednesday.

So I'm like, it's all very, a whirlwind. Yeah. That's amazing. Cool. I've had to like same day order from Staples like 14 different times, but listen, we're making it work. It's all DIY. Anyway, mattress stores, mattress stores. Who wants to go? Why don't you go first?

I've talked a lot. Okay. My first one is from Elena, she, her, who sent in, I think my first two are is from Elena, she, her, who sent in, uh, I think my first two are actually from Elena. Um, these are reviews of mattress warehouse in Thornbury, Victoria in Australia, and here is the first one. It's a one-star review.

Nigel Thornbury. Sorry. The edible hasn't kicked in yet. There's no way. I wish there's no way. It would have been funnier. Like, I mean, I would have said something funnier. Got it. Got it. It wouldn't have been funnier to me. I would have just had 30 minutes more clever to say. Here's a one star review. If you want someone to waste your time and be a complete arrogant, this place and the owner will make you happy. As I told you, I hope you to never be in a bad situation, sir. Hang loose emoji.

Enjoy a life of misery. End of review. Whoa! This like reeks of those people who are like allegedly very like open and spiritual and they're like, well, karma will come back to kick their ass. And I'm like, okay, you seem vengeful in a different way where you think you're not vengeful. Yeah.

That's a little bit scary. It also went very back and forth. I hope you never be in a bad situation. Enjoy life of misery. Yeah, exactly. It's like, what's that line that's so cutting? What changed here? I hope you have the day you deserve.

Yeah, see that's pretty good. What the fuck? have the day you deserve. And it's like, what the fuck? Like that's a cutting line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, it's like last episode, last week when you, the, the person, the owner was like quoting Mark Twain and somehow it just makes it so much more powerful. I don't know why, but it just feels like he won the argument no matter what. Yeah. Adds credence to it.

Yeah. It's just a quote from Mark Twain. I don't know. It's like whatever the argument no matter what. Yeah. Adds credence to it. Yeah. It's just a quote from, I don't know. You can literally just go on wikiquotes.com. Yeah. Whoa, sorry. Jesus Christ. Is there a bug or something? Okay. So I have a calendar up there and the- You, you, okay.

The page- The editor still hasn't kicked in yet, Christian. No. Okay. But here's, here's what I'll say. There's no window open this time. And that calendar has been there for weeks and weeks, maybe months. And the, the, it was on April. Okay. So it's been there for three days up.

And then it just came down back to March. So I looked up and it's our dad's calendar and it has a quote on it. And so I figure I might as well read it. It seems like a sign. His quote on this one says, wait, what if it was Mark Twain? Wouldn't that be crazy? I was gonna say, is it not Mark Twain?

Maybe it is actually, I don't know. But it says, actually you can quote, fact check this if you want. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. That's the most Bernie quote of all time. That is, that's a good one though. I like that one. Who said it?

Isaac Asimov. I wish it was Mark Twain, that would have been wild. Yeah. I should have just, you should have just said it was Mark Twain. Oh man, I can't lie to these people. I know they know that. At least not on purpose. I lied to them by accident because I don't know things.

That's not lying. I mislead them, but yeah, I mislead them, I guess. So this is from Lauren. It's of a place called Sleep Pittsburgh. And this is a one- Like a demand, Sleep Pittsburgh. Sleep. It sounds, again, threatening, even though-

That's what I'm thinking, yeah. Go to sleep now. Close your eyes. This is One Star by Jessica. Oh, and this was sent in by Lauren. I forgot if I said that or not. My mattress had a huge hole in the center of it after only four months.

The salesman told me it had a 10-year warranty, but when I tried to return it, he kept giving me the runaround as to why I couldn't return it. I had purchased here before and you would think they would treat their customers with a tiny increment of respect, but nope.

I would not recommend them. If you have an issue with your mattress, they will not take it back. End of review, the owner responded basically saying like, we do not see you in our records anywhere as having purchased a mattress. Uh, classic, but I think the. Classic move.

I think it's just like the giant, the huge hole in the mattress sounds like a portal has opened up. How does that happen? I don't know. And I think probably what they mean is like the fabric created like a tear. Okay. But to me, it sounds like there's an arena,

like an arena, an under, like a circular coliseum type in the middle. Now the edible has hit. Can we all agree? No. Must have. No, no, no. I'm not picturing what you're picturing. I think like a real big hole in the middle of the mattress. Yes. I'm not sure about a coliseum on the mattress, but yes, like a pit. Like a round pit.

A pit. Yeah. I am picturing that. In which a gladiator might a pit. Like a round pit. A pit, yeah, I am picturing that. In which a gladiator might be tossed, I'm just saying. Okay, you know, now I'm coming around. I'm coming around to this Coliseum idea, forgive me. And I guess part of it is because they said, oh, the salesman kept giving me the runaround, and I was like, in the circle.

Blues traveler. Oh, we went different ways. I meant he was running around in the circle, but you meant blues traveler. I'm thinking about how the blues traveler singer has a bunker, end of days bunker, full of like guns and stuff. Does he really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm thinking that maybe that's inside this mattress. It could be. Yeah. Hmm. Don't fall in. We'll hopefully never get to the bottom of that mattress hole It's beautifully put. Thank you. My next one is also from Elena of I believe it was the same place as last time Yeah, the mattress warehouse

And Thornbury One star no comment. That's how you know Okay, here's a one star review. Major red flags randomly visited this store Saturday as we were driving by, which, sorry, I just, first of all, you just drive by a mattress. Nobody's ever done that. Nobody's ever done that. They, you will find out they are shopping for mattresses. Like it's not so I was about to say actively, but it seems somewhat passively. They're passively shopping for a passively. If the opportunity presents itself. Exactly. That seems like, uh, that seems like the situation here. Um, here we go. Randomly visited the store Saturday as we were driving by the salesperson approached us and asked what we were after. I advised him Here we go. why I was unable to buy a mattress from this retail store. He explained that the mattresses at his store are supplied to major chains, and he doesn't

want to compete with other stores, and only sells mattresses on The Quiet. I questioned him and asked if his business was legitimate, given the fact that he is a real retail store, but doesn't want to sell mattresses to anyone who has ever visited another mattress store? The most bizarre encounter in my life. I walked out of this store feeling as confused as I still am 48 hours later." And somebody send fucking Anderson Cooper or maybe somebody less with a lower profile, but send somebody in to investigate. This sounds like a racket. Something's going on. Well, you know how the memes about, people talk

about mattress stores being on every corner and no one's ever in them. And they're always like a front for something, is a rumor. Yeah. And they're always open. I think the reality is that mattresses are just so fucking expensive.

They only need to sell like a couple mattresses a month to pay for everything. Oh yeah, I have heard that. I think it's like this, isn't it the same with like hot tubs or something? I feel like I've heard that about multiple types of stores where you're always surprised that they still exist. In New Zealand somewhere, we were just like, there was like a ski store in

this little vacation town and I was like the random skiing shot and I'm like, you know what? Like, yeah, like you just probably have to have a few customers who go out skiing on vacation and you might be able to- Sell a couple ski poles and you're good. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Uh, wow.

I mean, I feel like that is kind of good on him to be like, oh, you know how a mattress star works. Then you have to leave because this is not going to be your typical experience. And I don't want you to catch on. You might get us in trouble with the. And he's probably like, I don't know how they work. So I feel like if you do, then I'm at a disadvantage.

So you should probably just leave. Yeah, you're right. You know, I like that upfront. It's honest. It's not really. That's all I want from a mattress salesperson. That's all I want. Is honesty.

I don't want a mattress. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to leave with a mattress. I just want them to tell me the truth. And that's why I'm going to be the investigative reporter that goes down there and asks a few simple questions. I'll say, I've never been to a mattress store before. And then they'll come running. Sells me anything. Okay. So this is from Maddie, she, her, and it's of Hank's Fine Furniture in Little Rock, Arkansas.

This is a one-star review by Chris. Worst experience ever. Clayton likes to call veterans out on Observed Veterans Day on when and how they take their prescribed medications. There was three separate sales that he- This is such a specific scenario that I can't imagine this person just like gets off on this and like this is what they like doing. There's no way. This like weirdly um, nagging veterans about their medication schedule. Yeah. I can't wait for veteran's day. I hope a

veteran with a prescription comes in. It's like a very specific fetish that like probably rarely gets acknowledged until Chris walks in and they're like, finally. It's about time. Oh, on, maybe they only open on Veterans Day. And that's why they have all those sales, you know, like instead of Memorial Day sale, they're like, we've got a Veterans Day sale. That's so true. It lines up. Yeah. Explains everything.

Clayton likes to call veterans out on Observed Veterans Day on when and how they take their prescribed medications. I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait. I know you, I just stomping you again, but I just realized it says Observed Veterans Day. So it was like the month, I don't know when Veterans Day normally is, but it was like a day of the week. It's like the week day or whatever, like the postal, the postal holiday or whatever, the Queen's holiday. Don't even admit, don't admit to that. Okay. Well, he says it again later, so don't

worry. He doubles down, I guess. There was three separate sales that he caused the store this day to three separate veterans on observed veterans day. Be better Clayton, try being a little less Judgy McJudgerson, it might even get you better sales. End of review. I did feel like his medication may be hit by the end. Yeah.

Cause all of a sudden everything was spelled correctly. He said Judgy McJudgerson, which seemed like a tonal shift. You don't really know what happened, huh? Like it feels. Well, not even like a tonal shift. You don't really know what happened, huh? Like it feels- Well, not even in a remote sense do I know what. My guess, it almost feels, well, there was, at first I thought maybe he's an employee, but now that I'm reading it again,

there was three separate sales, so it must be a customer. So it must have been like, I went in with like two other veterans or I talked to them in the parking lot, you know how they're always like, and everyone in the parking lot agreed with me. There was three separate sales that he caused. So I think he's saying like he lost three sales from veterans on observed veterans day.

Got it. Because he was critiquing how they take their prescribed medications, which- Which, what does that mean? Could it be weed? Maybe. Oh, then I'm on the veteran side. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. As usual. If there's a smoking pot in the back room, I don't know, maybe not. I mean, it's a mattress store. It is an employee, he's like, it's Veterans Day, I can smoke where I want. It's observed Veterans Day, I can smoke where I want. It's observed Veterans Day. I can smoke where I want.

I was like, well, maybe he has PTSD and it's like, hey, these edibles are prescribed. You know what I mean? And so I thought... But if it was edibles, it'd be... But like, yeah, now that's... Okay, it's hitting now. Like I'm getting the... I'm making up...

I'm finally creating a plot in my head. Yeah, it's like it could go so many ways. It's probably not true at all, but I'm picturing them like whipping out a joint and being like, it's medication time and just smoking a joint in the mattress store. Yeah. Cause I can't imagine anyone having a problem with how you take your prescribed medication. That doesn't make sense to me. No.

But people saying prescribed medication might imply marijuana too. How actively and loudly are you taking your, as someone who takes many prescribed medications, the most blatant one is getting an IV every eight weeks and that one's pretty obvious. But the rest of them, like I've gotten pretty good at subtly, you know, not taking them in the middle, like even my birth control goes, alarm goes off.

I've gotten real good at taking that in a movie theater, anywhere, anywhere I'm at. So like how obvious are you being? Are you getting high and laying on the mattress and being like, it's my day. Or someone comes in and is like, Remicade time and you lies on a mattress and gets an infusion. Remember when I used to have that, uh, the infusions come to our apartment in LA and maybe, um, maybe that's it.

He's like, Oh, there's a mattress store with a Tempur-Pedic. I'd like to go there today for my infusion. And if they're lucky, I just might buy it. Yeah, maybe one of these eight weeks, maybe once every eight weeks he might make a sale, but maybe not. What we failed to notice was this big sign that says, if you get an infusion on it, you buy it.

Oh. That's where it all fell through. Honestly not unobserved veterans. All vets are off. All vets are off? All vets are uh oh. Uh oh. Don't you dare misquote me like that. This is so stupid. furniture store. This is in Mankato, Minnesota. One star review. This place is not a place I will go back to because I got a bed set and no nightstands like the thing said. I said a month later in May that I did not like the bed. I was upset about the nightstands not being in there and today I was told nothing I can do.

There is no notes. Well, not my fault. You have a bunch of weird people working for you who does mark it down. I said it lots of times, even the people in the cities when I talked to, and my divorce lawyer was sitting right there when I had talked to them.

And they said, okay, I'll be paying a lawyer to take these people to court so they can take their trash bed back. End of review. Oh my God! The divorce lawyer's like, that is not my area of expertise. Please do not drag me into this. The number of times people try to get me to sue a mattress store, I'm over it. Maybe that's where the money is. This is, and so that review was wild. You know, there's clearly very little punctuation. There's one period before the last sentence. But here's the response, okay?

Oh, okay. The response from owner, honestly, like this is, I've never seen this in, in about a, a someone threatening legal action, right? Yeah. Thank you for the insight provided in your review. If you have sought legal representation, please have your lawyer provide correspondence to 5501 headquarters drive Plano, Texas 75024. Attention legal.

If you have not sought legal action, our digital care team would like to ensure your feedback is delivered to the best Renna Center support to address the situation you gave one star blah, blah, blah. And then it keeps going. But they literally were like, Oh, Oh yeah. Well, go for it. They're like, I'll pave the way for you in gold. Come on in. Yeah. Which normally you'd, you know, I feel like most people threatening legal action of course are not going to actually involve a lawyer unless it's actually worth, there's a lot of money involved or something.

They're just going to use that in order to get something or to get the company to give them a refund or something. Right, like an empty thread is one thing, but then when the company is like, oh yeah. Calling their bluff, potential bluff, I guess technically they could not be, they might not be bluffing, but most likely they're bluffing.

And the company's like, go for it. I weirdly loved it. Like I was like, oh. I just, I wonder, yeah. Uh-oh, you've messed with the wrong mattress company. But I say that having no idea what happened because I could not understand that. Okay. So for all we know. For all I know, they're in a divorce settlement and the, the partner was like,

I want one of the nightstands. And they're like, what nightstands? Cause they want to keep them. Got it. Got it're like, what nightstands? Cause they want to keep them. These nightstands don't split up. They're in one set. You don't get a nightstand. So, you know, they've concocted this whole backstory. And this was part of their, uh, they're, they're leaving this digital trail, these footprints in order to get the other divorce lawyer off the track of these

nightstands. That's right. Makes so much sense to me. I don't know why the divorce lawyer was there or anywhere. I don't, that came out of nowhere. It makes it feel just a little bit sad. Yeah. Cause it sounds like they're actively going

through the process of divorce. Yeah. I imagine it's a stressful time. I feel like a divorce lawyer as like a present tense is generally like, unless it's, you've used them multiple times. Unless it's how I talk about Renee, like, oh, my attorney is sitting right here and it's like,

you're at a Fall Out Boy concert. I know. But technically it's all true. So it could be that, but you know, what if that address that they sent, we should look it up. What if it's like a different mattress company? Well, it says rent a center. So I think that this company must, home choice, it was a home choice. It must be like a rent a center, a rent a center.

Maybe it's a competitor of rent a center and they're like, just send your lawyer there. That's hilarious. Maybe they just made a whole, like they sent the lawyer to the wrong building. It's not a bad idea. I mean, it's a terrible idea. Don't get me wrong. Unfortunately. Okay. I, you know, I love this world where they, they did that, but unfortunately, according to Wikipedia, they

include get it now stores in Wisconsin and home choice stores in Minnesota, Eww. Let me have this. Along with a bunch of other shit. But that would have been amazing. So their legal team, so they thought, oh, this is just a small company. I can threaten them with legal action. And the big renaissance, renaissance, renaissance, renaissance was like, don't even try me.

Because based on their history also in their Wikipedia page, they've had plenty of experience with litigation. So- Yeah, they love the stuff is what I've heard. They love it. Yeah, they loved it in 2000 when they were sued for sexual bias in the hiring of women. Can't get enough. 47 million dollar cash payment, holy shit.

There was a lot. So yeah, they had to settle for deceptive business practices in California, in Washington, there was more deceptive collection practices. I'm starting to turn on this company. I know it's shocking. You're starting to? I know, I can't believe I'm saying it either,

but what I'll say also is maybe they're making a mistake by inviting everyone to sue them. It sounds like they're just handing out money. Wait a second, yeah. I'm about to sue them. Renee, like they're just handing out money. Like I'm about to sue them. Renee, get on the phone with Renna Center. There must be some sort of class action. Where's my nightstand? Another one in California in 2020

about freight charging. We could get on that train, get it? I could be like, you know what? I didn't get my nightstand, Renee, sue them. They'll maybe give me a million dollars. Yeah. I even have the address right here. Plano, Texas.

It seems like it could be a little predatory, these places. What's the name of the, is it like, I feel like it's like Industry Way or one of these like fake streets, what's it called? Headquarters Drive. Yeah, so I feel like they're always like Industry Way or like airport road and you're like, okay, okay, I guess. Have you ever struggled with finding time to manage your finances? At the end of a busy week, the last thing you want to do is spend time budgeting all of your expenses or track down customer service teams to cancel old subscriptions you no longer use.

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You won't want to miss this. BlueLand.com slash beach for 15% off. That's blueland.com slash beach to get 15% off. All right. So this is from Sean. Now I'm going to send you the name of this store. And I, I brought this review mainly just for the pronunciation aspect. Um, I'm sending you this name of the store. Uh, like how would you say this? name of the store. Okay. Like how would you say this? La beta. Yeah, that's how I would say it. So it's L E B E D A.

So Sean thankfully gave me some insight and said it's actually LaBetta. Like LaBetta. Oh, LaBed-a. Yeah. Like for a bed, which is like, okay. Okay. Huh. If they say so. Interesting choice, but it's your choice. So you know what? I'll let you make you I'll let their word for it, I guess. Interesting choice, but it's your choice. So you know what? I'll let you sleep in the bed you made yourself. You know what I'm saying?

The libetta. The libetta you made of yourself. So here's a one-star review by Nick. And this is written 13 years ago, and this is Nick's only review. My wife and I went to libetta for a new mattress, as it's the only place in Ames. The salesmen were very abrupt and mattress, as it's the only place in Ames. The salesmen

were very abrupt and rude, especially Chad, the manager. The mattresses were not of good quality, but they were priced like they should have been. To make matters worse, one of the salesmen said we had to buy a more expensive mattress because we were quote, heavier people. I'm not a genius, but calling someone fat is not a great way to sell anything. The only good thing about Libetta was that it made my decision easier to go to the Sealy store in Nevada. What did you say at the end? Nevada.

What's Nevada? I'm gonna send you the spelling. Did they spell Nevada wrong or is it a town? No, it's the way that this town is pronounced. Oh, okay, nice. Spelt like Nevada, but Nevada. So I'm like, Labetta, Nevada, is Sean sending me so many different pronunciation guides? And then I read the first review and went, oh my Lord, thank God.

Because I probably, not that, you know, all the people of Nevada would like be up in arms, but maybe, I don't know. Maybe, you never know. You never know. That's good to know. Libetta, Nevada. Just in case. Oh my God, it's so overwhelmingly confusing.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don but maybe, I don't know. You never know. You never know. Labeta, Labeta, Nevada. Oh my God. It's so overwhelmingly confusing. Anyway. So I'm sorry.

So this salesperson was saying they have to charge more for the mattresses? That you need a more expensive one. Oh, because of my God. Sort of like a, like a big and tall, you know, like, oh, well you need, which is ridiculous. Don't be stupid. Like why, why like a big and tall, you know, like, oh, well you need, which, come on. Don't be stupid. Like why would the mattress,

and what a fucked up sales tactic for multiple reasons. And also like what's wrong with the other mattress that it just doesn't hold that weight? That doesn't make sense. Exactly, that doesn't make sense. There's no way, there's no way. That's incredible. And so I'm so glad they went to Nevada

and went to the Sealy store. Sealy store. That's the one with the sheep or something. Had, oh yeah, it is the one with the sheep. I can't keep up. I don't know my mattress stuff. For some, I've never, I've maybe been in a mattress store one time, not for myself either.

And I don't really understand why I know so much about their jingles, their characters, their lore behind them. Like it just seems like I know way too much for someoneingles, their characters, the lore behind them. Like it seems like I know way too much for someone who's never been inside one before, but yeah, everywhere. Yeah. Well, I'm moving on to a review from Kayla Sheher who sent in a review of Direct Mattress Outlet

and this is in Oakland, California. And this review was written by Joan. One star. I just contacted this store to set up an appointment and asked if buying a mattress for less than $200 was an option. I got a text that said, good luck with that. I understand that I have a low budget, but if you're looking for customer service or some common decency, I wouldn't recommend this place. It was pretty insulting. End of review.

Oh no. And then there's an owner response with what I think is maybe one of the most believable owner responses. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I don't know because I can absolutely picture this because I've seen this said, so the thinking's that Joan did not present it accurately the way that she presented it to the mattress store. So here we go. Let me just read what the owner says.

It says please send your legal correspondence. We're ready. We're ready. Rent a center is ready for you. The way the conversation went was that she stated that she can get a quality king size mattress for $200. I stated that that was unlikely, and if so, good luck with that. Hope she succeeded. No ill intent.

Perhaps a bit sarcastic because deals too good to be true are usually just that, unless you buy from me, of course. I hold that monopoly. Smile. End of response. To be clear, they did not do a smile emoji. They typed out the word smile as its own sentence. What?

Okay, to be fair, that's like when I type in the word coffin and I forget to hit the emoji and then I just send somebody the word coffin and they're like, what? And then it's like, it's the most embarrassing thing. Or I'll write skull. Like I either, I used to write skull and coffin all the time because I didn't want to scroll and you know, you know as people do Yeah, and on my laptop. It's like I don't want to scroll to find the emoji

So I'm just like I type it out sometimes I'll hit send and it won't have like switched to the emoji yet So it'll just be like coffin coffin. Got it So yes miles. I mean I just thought it was so funny. Like this review or the reviewer was claiming this thing. And in hindsight, I'm like, it's so example of like, it makes so much sense being missing and like how skewed it makes it seem. Yeah. Because, you know, like, come on,

the number of reviews or the number of people who do shit like that, where they're like, well, I can get this. Like you see like Facebook marketplace when people respond, they're like, well, I could get this for here for this much. It's like then to do it, then go. And do it and good luck. And it's not really as sinister or as rude if you just say, well, okay, then good luck with that.

To get all defensive about it is so silly and be like, oh, write this review as if. Write a review. I mean, geez. You were insulted by it. You're already wasting your time like texting him about how you're going to get a $200 mattress on Facebook marketplace. Like it's crazy. With a big hole in it.

$200. With some gladiators and a bunker down there. Like $200 for a king size mattress. I'm sorry. I don't know anything about mattresses, but even I think that's ridiculous. Certainly not. Not a quality one.

Yeah, a quality. Maybe one on the side of the road. Yes, that's what that's. But probably not even that. Um, I'm scared to say good luck with that because I feel like everyone's so litigious here today, all these reviewers that I'm like, I don't even wanna. It's true, it's true.

Careful. I don't know what is up with these people. Okay. No one does. So this is from Denise Sheher, and this is a review of Amerisleep mattress store in La Encantada, Tucson. Oh wait, I'm sorry, Amerisleep Mattress Store, La Encantada, and it's in Tucson. So that's the full name.

And this is a one star view by Mary. I was walking into the store for the first time to ask a question concerning the price of an item. The snooty employee upon my my question, exclaimed, you've been here many times before. You already know the price of all the items. Please keep in mind, I have never stepped into this store prior.

Her exasperated attitude therefore convinced me to leave in a minute. It was a very unpleasant experience, and of course I would not recommend buying from this establishment. End of review. Um, I'd like to get to the bottom of this. Isn't that so weird?

Do you have a twin? Do you... is... If somebody said that to me, I would not just leave. I'd be like, sorry, what do you mean by that? I wouldn't be insulted. I'd be like, what? I'd be like, do I have a doppelganger? Yes!

Do I have a brain tumor? Have I been in here? Like, tell me! Maybe. I mean, what? I'd be like, do I have a doppelganger? Yes. Do I have a brain tumor? Have I been in here? Like, tell me. I mean, what is going on? I'm so alarmed by that. And I wish that they had asked more questions. I'm checking because I feel like there was a response, but maybe I'm wrong.

I could have sworn I saw one somewhere, but the screenshot doesn't have one. I don't know. It just feels like there's no clarity whatsoever. What else is new? Yeah. Huh. What a surprise.

Lame. Anyway. Uh, so weird. So it's just like a chill. It's almost chilling, you know? And I feel like a mattress store already to me seems kind of weird. Cause like, as you said, we barely ever go in them because you don't really need to. And like, why are they there?

What are they doing in there? Why are they so rude to veterans on Observed Veterans Day? Like I have so many questions. Oh, here it is, here's the response. I'm sorry if I found it. Oh, there is a response. There is, yeah. I mean, it's not very interesting,

but it basically just says like, Mary, I'm truly sorry you had this experience in our store. We try to be a welcoming store for all our customers and we failed you and I apologize. I would love to get some more information so I can work on preventing this in the future. And then an email. Same. Which like, I would also like-

They're trying to get to the bottom of this too. We all are. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, there's another you running around. We're at the start of something incredible. This is a mystery. This is a mystery. This is a Twilight Zone episode. This is like when people explain something that happened to them and I'm like,

and then what? And they're like, I don't know. I like moved on. And I'm like, what? It's that like that meme of like the, I mean, this is just the meme and like the examples I've seen is like a, um, uh, a boyfriend will be talking to the girlfriend and be like, oh yeah, like blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah broke up. It's like, what happened?

They're like, oh, I don't know, I didn't ask. Literally. What, like you didn't want to find out any more info? Blaze will like go to dinner with his friends and we'll be like, oh, so and so, like so and so's fantasy football team. And I'm like, great. And then he's like, oh, I told you they were pregnant, right?

And I'm like, what? No, and I'm like, oh, like when she do? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I'll spend like 30 minutes talking about RuneScape to Dee and then be like, oh yeah, by the way, big news. And then tell her something big and be like, back to RuneScape.

Yeah, and anyway, thank you for your little update. Okay, let's see. Is it my turn or your turn? It's my turn, it's my turn. It's my turn. I actually have only one more. It's my fifth one. I think. Why am I like lost? I skipped one, right? Cause you're probably in a mattress store and you have no idea what's going on.

I accidentally read them out of order. That's kind of odd. Yeah. I'm worried I did. Cause I'm like, that was quick. Am I already done with my reviews? I guess so. I think I did four. Don't worry. I'll carry us as usual. Well, yeah. Well, I say it cause we know it's not true. So I, I cap them at five. That's what I like to do. Do you really? Yeah. I don't know. Cause otherwise, cause look, our episodes get way too long when I only do five every time. Yeah. And so I'm like, if I just, it's weird how we,

it's weird how we don't know why and how we'll never know. So strange about that. So strange. It's weird how we'll never get to the bottom of it. Never ever. Okay. Here is a review sent in by Taylor, they, them and Sophie, she, her, who sent out very nice words. So we appreciate-

Oh yeah, you showed me that email. I did. Yeah. We appreciate your kind words. So, but yeah, I'll leave it at that. Thank you for writing in and thank you for this amazing review. This is of a Havertz furniture in Louisville, Kentucky. Like I literally know what that look, what the font is. I've never heard of this in my life.

Is it like, yeah, yeah. Please say something. Okay, okay, okay. The font is like, it has, what do you call it? When it's not, when it has the little lines. Huh? You know how there are fonts like Arial that don't have the little extra leg, extra appendages?

No. Okay. And then some fonts do. I think sans is like without or like. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's, I guess what sans means. Is that what that means? Oh sans serif. Okay. Sans serif. Serifs, they're called serifs.

Those little, you know, I have a font. I have a hyper fixation on fonts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But those are, so sans serif fonts, basically it's like, it doesn't have those extra, but I feel like Havardy's does. What is it? Like the full word has it? Yeah, like in their, in their like official lettering and isn't it also don't they have like a forest green coloring or am I crazy? I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I don't either. Okay, their their website is like a general like greenish. Okay, they're okay.

I'm looking at it now. Can you, yeah, I don't know what your brain is doing. So my brain is doing the thing of like, Oh, it's just like a very imposing font, like kind of like a, it feels very, and I'm looking at it. And yes, it's exactly as I pictured. However, there are serifs than I thought. I'll take your word for it. Cause I have no idea what you're talking about. Your description was tough, but also I was having trouble finding the logo. I don't even know where I would have seen this.

Probably like somewhere on the way to like, Gio's Doggy Daycare. I pass it. Yeah, maybe something like that. And it's just like lodged in my fucking brain for no good reason. No good reason is right. Anyway, I'm so sorry for that. Continue.

Here's a two star review. Okay. I'm so sorry. That was like so sorry. No, no, no. I was doing that because of what I'm about to read, not because of you, I swear. I believe everyone else also made the same sound, but it was for other reasons. For other reasons? Yeah, understandable. Okay, here we go. Here's a two-star review. I didn't know what to expect having never shopped for new furniture. Within 15 minutes, my girlfriend and I bailed out on swift feet from the second floor to escape the overwhelming dread brought upon us by the sales associate known as Zane from Wayne. Sorry? I did change the name, but it's a rhyming name. It's a rhyming name, Zane from Wayne.

Okay. Okay. That's why I had to do Zane because I was like, it's got to rhyme. We didn't look back scared of what it may hold. Immediately upon entering Zane greeted. Was he friendly? Yes.

Was he knowledgeable? Very. Was he too much? Yes. Oh. knowledgeable? Very. Was he too much? Yes. Oh. Zane's own and openly stated mantra was that he was there to help, not hound. Too bad he didn't follow his own advice even remotely. Yeah.

It is like that, that doth protest too much. If you have to keep saying out loud that my life motto or my work motto is not to hound people, it's like, why do you keep saying that to me? You've said it four times. The boss is requiring that maybe, I don't know. Oh, was that it? Sorry. No, too bad he didn't follow his own advice even

remotely. Zane proceeded to show us his top picks without our inquiries and throw furniture details down our opened yet unprepared throats. Oh, you are opened and uh, opened yet unprepared throats. Open and unprepared throats. Why would you say it like that? That, uh, that, uh, what's that throat stuff you spray? Oh my God.

Chloroceptic or whatever. That's disgusting. That shit is so good for when you have a sore throat. It's actually like, blaze will just sit there all day and be like, uh. Me too. And then I read the bottle and it's like, do one spray every like two hours. Yeah, it's like full of crazy steroids. And it's like, oh well.

I use half the bottle in one day. In a day, easy. It's bad, it's not good. Don't do that. Okay. Or do. I'm going to say don't, but I don't have any control. So I'm just going to say that to cover my butt.

We're not liable. Thankfully, after what seemed like eternity, he gave us space, but only for a brief moment, we quickly went upstairs to check out the kitchen furniture we'd made it, we were safe and in peace, we stood there and ogled a small and handsome dark cherry finished kitchen set. That one's got a few secrets. All four sides can fold in and under to make it smaller. Just like for your smaller apartment.

It was Zane from Wayne, Indiana. He'd found us. And he had popped out of one of the secret compartments and said, look, a drawer for your tiny ass apartment. It's me, not hounding you. I can't. He'd found us. We sheepishly grinned and shook our heads

and said, Ah, we turned and ran. Not a full stride or true run, but a galloping walk of sorts. The walk a side character of a horror movie makes when it's their turn to die. Fast, but not fast enough. If it wasn't for Zane, we may have stayed around, but he hounded us up out of there. Either way, the prices were a little high for our modest income and too large for our smaller apartment. This place definitely appeals to larger homes and higher budgets. There isn't anything inherently bad with the store products themselves, but you run like hell if Zane waits for you at the door. End of review.

That was my takeaway. I can't blame this person. Don't get me wrong. I would have done the run gallop as well. I kind of get freaked out by too much. I'm not accusing them of having a bad reaction to it. I just am like, poor Zane's really just not finding the right clientele. I hope he has other customers that like really vibe with that. Because I'm sure, especially when something's out of your budget, like remember that time we went to that home and garden show for some God forsaken reason and you and I, and I think Francisco and Ethan found those

like massage chairs where you were like these like futuristic. So we just laid there and like sat and then they were like trying and I mean, you, Francisco was younger so she didn't get this spmuel, but they were like, oh, they're on sale today for $8,500. And we were like, what about us makes this look like? So I kept like trying to run away, but Francisco was just still like vibing in the chair. And I was like, they'll probably harass her. And she just will be like, no, I'm chilling. Yeah.

But I had to leave. Yeah. It's uncomfortable because like, yeah, they're obviously trying to sell you something. Like they want something from you. Like you obviously don't want it. Don't want. For that much money. Yeah. It's, it's, it's uncomfortable because like, yeah, they're obviously trying to sell you something. You're like, they want something from you. Like you obviously don't want it for that much money. But we're not very good with, it's not even, confrontation is a very strong word. I have no boundaries. Yeah. Boundaries is, it can get tough.

And boundary less, I might even say. It's tough. But, but yeah, in this case, I'm, the, the bar for what hounding is for Zane is probably much different than what it was for this customer. Probably would be different for me too. Yeah, he's like, you should have seen me when I worked for, as a talent marketer. It's like, Oh God, Oh, can that be a perfect job?

He could probably actually like really get into that. Yeah. You know what? And I think, um, I will say like, I think lots of people would love this amount of attention. Yeah, absolutely. And I will say this place has a lot of good reviews. Like you know the people who get so mad that there

was some mattress reviews where it's like nobody greeted me and I'm like, first of all, there's nobody there. It's empty probably. Second of all, it's probably a front for something. Third of all, like, why would you want someone to just like run up and start talking to you? But I guess, yeah, if you need guidance, if you want to buy, I don't know, just, this is why the internet exists.

I'm sorry. Poor Zane from Wayne or whatever his name is. Was there a response to that? Nope. Just, this is why the internet exists. I'm sorry. I, poor Zane from Wayne or whatever his name is. Um, was there a response to that? Nope. That's probably for the best. I hope Zane didn't see it. Uh, okay.

This is from Tristan who sent a review of the mattress depot USA in Lacey, Washington. Now this made me laugh because Tristan included like some, which I love all these people are including all this context for us. Um, and this says fun side note, which kind of actually goes into what we were just talking about. Tristan says the local commercials for this are wild. The store is train themed.

I know. And the jingle goes, I mean, I don't know the tune, obviously, but it goes low prices every day, mattress depot USA and then two toots of a train horn. Okay. I kind of love that. Me too. And Tristan said, get stuck in my head a lot, which I feel like that's how I feel about

like Racker and Burger, like all those jingles, you know? Yeah. So train themes. And that just reminds me of something I meant to bring up was Bess and I will, I'll send this to you later and you all can look it up yourselves. Bess posted on the Patreon only group, Facebook group, and said, in honor of the mattress stores episode,

here's a commercial for a local mattress store chain and it is absolutely wild. Maybe that's why it's like mattress ranch. Okay, every local mattress store seems to have like its own thing. And I feel like as a kid, you really get like hook line and sinker into that, even though you don't attend or you're not the target

audience or, you know, there's like no reason. But like, I mean, if you think about like, yeah, Recreber, the Big Bob's furniture or whatever, like I feel like I remember those so vividly. Weirdly they work somehow. But yeah, look up mattress ranch. The fucking Tempur-Pedic with the wine glass

and she's jumping and I'm six and I'm like, that's incredible. Like what the fuck do I care? You know? Like in what world will that ever be a situation you're in? Like. What's it called?

Mattress ranch? I mean now it is. Where they drop the bowling ball, you know? Oh yeah. Is Blaze dropping a bowling ball while you have a wine glass on there? I don't think that's happening to you, no offense. You live an exciting life, but not that exciting.

Yeah, you're right. I can only hope. Sorry, what did you want me to look up? No, not right now. I'm telling people, look up the YouTube video, Mattress Ranch. If you see a guy with a SpongeBob tie, you're in the right place.

That's the commercial that Bethesda posted. It's if you see a guy with a spongebob tie, that's you're in the right place. Oh, okay. That's the commercial. Got it saved in a tab. It was amazing. So I mean, think about this flea market, Montgomery. It's just like a mini mall. Hey, hey.

I mean, the lucky ones even like, ascend and go viral. Yes. Um, living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes. I mean, excellent stuff. Okay. Sorry. So this is of the low prices every day mattress depot USA.

It's so good. I don't know the same. I love how you say it's so good. You've never heard it. I just love it. But the rhyme works. I know it sounds like it would be amazing. Yes.

Syllabically, it really does the trick. Okay. It's a winner. Now, and you know I like trains. Mm-hmm. So this is a one-star view by Rachel. Horrible customer service won't be shopping there ever again. End of review.

Now we got a response from owner, Mattress Depot USA. Rachel actually never was a customer of Mattress Depot, but rather the eyebrow salon next door. During a busy weekend in the area, there were no other parking spaces available other than the reserved space for our store. Rachel thought it would be okay to park here when our sales associate informed her that this is a reserved spot for our store and if she could please move her car. She claimed she was thinking of shopping for a mattress after her eyebrow. You can't just make that up.

Come on. Like, come on. Like of all things. Of all things. Today's my eyebrow mattress day. Yeah. It's what Thursdays are. If it were a petco,

it'd be one thing. Right? Like, oh, I need a dog food anyway. Yeah, while I'm here, I might as well pick up some dog food. Yes. But a mattress? I don't believe you for a second, Rachel. With those brows, come on. Our sales associate informed her that this is a reserved spot for our store and if she would please move her car. She said that she was thinking of shopping for a mattress after her eyebrow appointment, but in all honesty, she was probably never going to come into our store and is just upset she couldn't find a parking spot. Yes, mattress depot USA.

You are, I'm quite confident you're correct. I think. I, I'm inclined to agree. There's no doubt in my mind, quite frankly. Uh, just like the one star review. I'll never shop here again with this customer service. There's no doubt in my mind, quite frankly. Uh, just like the one star review. I'll never shop here again with this customer service. It's like, well, you didn't shop there at all, did you? It's so funny.

Very fishy. Are you done? I forgot. Yes. Okay. So I think this is, LOL no, it's not my last one. Okay. This is. Oh, we figured. Uh my last one. Okay, this is-

Oh, we figured. I know. Okay, this is from Elta. It's of a store called Covered Bridge Furniture. And I am so happy that Elta included the, or maybe I went and got it, but I think Elta included it, like the screen grab of their sort of Google page.

And like, once you look at the picture, here I'll send it to you, like you can tell this place is called, like you get why it's called covered bridge furniture. Okay. Yeah, right. Like very Americana rustic looking sort of. Americana rustic.

That's, I was trying to think of the words and you came up with them perfectly. Yep. Thank you so much. So this is a one star review by Bella. Very poor customer service, very condescending to older customers. Sorry. So mean. Very condescending to older customers. Not even sure if salespeople are really Amish. What a joke. End of review. Oh, are they, do they advertise themselves as?

No idea. Oh, it's an, oh, it does say like the, literally the picture you sent me says Amish furniture store. Okay, but Amish furniture store does not necessarily mean- Does not necessarily mean that the salespeople and the people in the store are Amish furniture store. Okay. But Amish furniture store does not necessarily mean that the salespeople. And here's why. Because the owner responded and no offense, but I feel like if I know anything about the Amish, it's like, they're probably not spending all their time on Google reviews.

You know, I feel like there's a lot of leniency nowadays. Oh, the a hundred percent. And it's like incredibly nuanced. I don't know if that's true. It's a very nuanced thing. But that being said, like. Nothing, And it's like incredibly nuanced. So I don't know if that's true. It's a very nuanced thing. But that being said, like- I've known nothing, very little about, I should say. I mean, it feels like Velo is trying to put them in a little trap. Like,

are you even Amish? And then they're like, yes. And it's like, ha ha. Gotcha. But yeah, so this is from the owner and it basically, I mean, it says if you speak to the owner and then put the name of the owner, we will make sure your concerns are handled. But yeah, we don't really know what happened. Condescendenting, though, is a rough one. This is from Izzy, they, them,

and it's of Mattress Firm Clearance Center in Kennesaw, Georgia. One star by Adrian. Justin was extremely knowledgeable and informative. Just hope this is the mattress for a long-term good night's sleep with the G3 in Telebed! Yearning for a good night's sleep. Father God, please let this be a wise purchase. Only giving this mattress a 1 star written 0NE.

A 1 star until I've slept on it for at least 6 months. Most of the bed's manufacturers are making today with all of that awful contouring foam only last 4 months before you start sinking. End of review. What? I don't know. Izzy just wrote, just read it. That's like the only caption.

Just read it. Best thing to say there. I mean- The G3 and telebed? How could you go wrong? I know, I got excited. I thought this was gonna be the best bet ever. Some like Orson Welles shit.

Like, oh, the dystopia, the G3 and telebed. Orson Welles shit. Like, oh, the dystopia, the G3 Intel bed. Orson Welles shit. Well, I don't know. It sounds like a made up name for something in the future in a dystopian society where it like. It does. I just, I don't know. I don't.

Father God, please let this be a wise purchase. The prayer thrown in the middle there. It took me for a ride. And then I'm giving it a zero NE star. I'm like, whoa, whoa, that's new. Also, by the way, this was written 11 months ago and it says I'm giving this a one star until I've slept on it for at least six months.

Update. Where's your commitment to this bit or whatever you're doing with your work? It feels like a bit. Like if this is really how you feel about this, like commit to it and maybe she did start sinking but then mention that you know what she can't because she's sinking oh no in that whole the cut into the not the Coliseum

not the Coliseum those those lions are hungry too yeah the lions in the G 2000. The G three intelligent, tell a bit. Okay. Did you ever read that short story? I'm sure you did not. No, it's like, it's just a wild thing. If you said you had read it, but maybe, but it's a short story. Um, and it's by somebody very famous. And I wish I knew the name off the top of my head, but I was reading like a compendium of short stories. And one of them was about, it was like futuristic and it was written as though

there was like an imaginary room. This was written also, I think it like the 60s. This was an episode of community. It's called a dreamatorium. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they must've stolen it from like Orson Welles or whoever wrote this, but. Uh, Orson Welles, are you just waiting for Orson Welles to make sense in any of these?

The reference has to hit at some point, maybe? Question mark? Um, no, but it's this short story about, and then, anyway, there's lions in there and they like imagine Savannah and then it's a horror story at the end. Nevermind. It's about like, oh, all this technology- That's how you would summarize this plot? It's all this technology and then in the you would summarize this plot. It's all this technology.

And then in the end, it like destroys you. Got it. I can't even say for sure if I read it or not, cause I have no idea. Like I don't know the plot of this. Here's what I'll say. I looked up the G3 and tell a bed. Is that also a short story?

It's an innovative hypoallergenic gel matrix. It says your hips and shoulders will love that. So that makes me feel weird. No, thank you. Hold on. How much is one of those? Oh, here it is. Okay.

It's a Ray Bradbury story. So it's entirely possible you could have read it. Oh, here it is. Okay. It's a Ray Bradbury story. So it's entirely possible you could have read it. It's called the VELT, V-E-L-E-T. Oh, I have heard of that. Yes, absolutely. I've never, I've read it, but boy have I heard of it. Well, I also just told you the exact summary of it.

So. The exact. It's actually very alarming and like disturbing, but it's like the kids' nursery is sort of like the dreamatorium from community. Got it. That's pretty cool. I mean, scary. For a minute it is. It's actually not that scary now because you read it and you're like, well, this is just ridiculous. But this is not how VR would work. But it's funny to like imagine back when it was written like, wow, this. Because it was written, oh my God, it was written in 1950. So like a long time ago.

Okay, so here we go. Let me close out the number of tabs after we finish an episode. I have like some of the most random shit pulled up in Telebed, G series, G3. Anyway, I might. I just close my whole browser every time. I'm just like reset.

I had important things I got to reset. I should do that. Okay So this is also from izzy and it's of the mattress plus and furniture in Kennesaw, Georgia two stars By maria The service was not good I was looking for a particular item in the store the store rep thought it was more important to carry on a conversation After I entered the store rather than attend to my needs. Well, I'm looking for the same, but not there. That's just my opinion. I shop online and inside the stores. I'm what you would call a

parentheses product brista and parentheses no pun intended. Have a good day whoever reads this. What did you intend? I don't understand it. Well, I appreciate the sentiment at the end there. I'm sorry I interrupted it. I'm just what you would call a product. I'm just going to let you say it again. I'm what you would call a, parentheses, space, product brista, in closed parentheses.

No pun intended. So it's not product barista. No, sir. Certainly not based on the way you're saying it. No, sir, it's product barista. Can you spell it? Maybe that'll help me. P-R-O-D-U-C-T, product.

The same word, B-R-I-S-T-A, all smashed together. Product barista. Okay. Doesn't help me at all. No pun intended, I wanna be clear, I'm not intending a pun here. Is that, has that been made clear? You are not, or this reviewer is not. Neither. Neither. Quite frankly, neither one of us is. Got it. Um, now that that's clear,

it's all coming together. Now that it's clear, we all get it. Right. Um, okay. That was my last one. I'm a product barista. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't know. Like, I mean, even if she's trying to say a barista, it still does. Was this another Izzy, another Izzy one?

Yeah. Who sent this? Izzy with the ones that are just, they're just sending in things that are like, just read it. Just read it. They're just like, you'll, like, this is your problem now, almost. It's like reading between the lines. That's, yeah, that's the energy is like, this isn't on me, which. It's like reading between the lines. Yeah.

That's the energy is like, this isn't on me, which like, I mean, I guess not. It's your shit to deal with now. Yeah. And Maria is a local guide. So I feel like could very well be a, maybe we just don't know what a product barista is. I mean, you know what? I don't think it's a maybe.

I certainly don't know what a product barista is. But like even if it was barista, that doesn't make sense either. I'm going to be honest. I forget any other part of the review other than the words product barista. It says I shop online and inside the stores. I'm what you would call a... I'm going to stop saying it.

Anyway, that's it. Okay. No, yeah. Let's, that's it. No. Yeah. Let's move on. My head hurts. This is my challenge. Yes. This is, uh, sent in by Lauren.

It's to find reviews of a piece of media where the reviewer claims to know someone who was in it or who worked on it. I'm very excited about this. Me too. Lauren actually sent in an email and said, this challenge was mostly inspired by this review, which was read on the now defunct podcast. Okay.

I'm, I'm, I'm reading this like it was a direct quote, but I'm, I actually summarize the email to say the following. So if Lauren's like, I didn't say that. This is a summary of what I gathered. Basically, Lauren said that the challenge was inspired by this review, which was read on the now defunct podcast Cartoon Lampoon, and it is a review of an obscure 1993 animated Christmas special called the 12 days of Christmas.

Okay. So I don't know the podcast Cartoon Limpoon, but it sounds like they had, must have had a very similar energy to our podcast because Lauren also said the hosts made up their own wild story surrounding the events of this review and says, I'm eager to see how you two will interpret it. And I'm like, wow, either it'll be exactly the same

or like the most outrageously different you could possibly be. Yeah. Um, this is a, this is on Amazon. Um, and again, this is a 1993 animated Christmas special called the 12 days of Christmas. And this is a five star review called Christmas tale.

Uh, and it's by Harley, a verified purchase written in 2013, by the purchase, written in 2013. By the way, April, 2013. Just if we're wondering seasonally speaking about a Christmas movie. Okay. Okay, so 20 years after this was released. Oh, also that, yes. That was my first takeaway.

That didn't even occur to me. Okay, this was a while after, got it. You're 100% right. Yeah. I had seen this on TV, Y-E-A-R-S ago, like years with dashes. I had seen this on TV years ago. I hardly ever catch the credits. They're too fast.

But this time I just happened to catch the name of the producer. At the next class reunion, I had the opportunity to ask him if it were he that produced this film. Yes, he said. That meant that I had the opportunity to compliment him on his effort. Oh, phew. I was like, I did not know where it was going. I was worried. You fucking suck. It's like, did you make this movie? I don't know. Depends. Like, who's asking and what do they have to say? What's their opinion? I couldn't, when I think of Christmas holiday specials,

I think of the Star Wars holiday special, which I don't know if you've seen, but we watched it in film club in high school. And boy, that is, I mean, George Lucas wanted all copies destroyed. It was that bad. I mean, it was, it was really bad. And it, you can, I think watch on YouTube.

Every time you go to a high school reunion, you ask everyone if they produced it, which is so weird. Cause they're all like, no. And you're like, good. Cause I have some insulting things to say if I ever find one of those producers, whoever this George Lucas character is, I figured he can't, he can't have gone to my high school because I've asked everyone. So I was just worried, you know, I was worried, but I'm glad, I'm glad it was a compliment. Apparently so.

I mean, this is, we're only a third of the way through this. True. Okay. Yeah. Let me, I'm getting ahead of myself. It gets even wilder. So, okay.

Yes. He said that meant I had the opportunity to compliment him on the effort. By the way, they never even said like, oh, I saw the name and recognized it from someone in my high school. They just said like, I caught the name at the next high school reunion. And I'm like, oh, I saw the name and recognized it from someone in my high school. They just said like, I caught the name at the next high school reunion.

And I'm like, wait. Well, there's a reason they're not producing any films or any stories. Yeah, the plot holes are gigantic. Okay. It was one of the best animations during December for Christmas I had ever seen in a long time. By the way, for Christmas is in parentheses.

So it says it was one of the best animations enter during December parentheses for Christmas. It's like M.Daz. Like the board you just so many more. This formula just gets worse and worse. Now I'm picturing this person is someone who reviews things often, didn't review it yet and then met this guy at the reunion. It was like, or this person was like, Hey, like, was this you? And they're like, yeah, like, Oh, it was great.

And then they were like, Oh, you should write a review. So they're like, Oh shit. And they were like, but I'm usually very honest and I don't, it's, there are a lot of better Christmas specials. So there's so many caveats. Adding all these caveats to be like, well, what's the best one I watched in December in a long time. Excluding Hanukkah related animation.

We don't want to involve any other holidays. There's some ringers. A few caveats to the point where I'm like, huh, did they mean? It's almost like they said, oh, I really loved it for a Christmas special in December. Exactly.

It's almost like it meant to be a, it's like a backhanded compliment. Like, oh, that kind of hurts. So it was one of the best animations during December for Christmas I had seen in a long time. That put me on the track of it. I looked and looked and looked for it. Boy did I have difficulty finding it. It seemed nobody in Greenville, South Carolina, St. Louis, or Toledo, Ohio could know anything about it.

Is this like a weird song from an old musical about a train track or something? Like, I don't know the number of random ass towns being mentioned, Toledo to Salt Lake City. Um, it seemed nobody in Greenville, South Carolina, St. Louis or Toledo, Ohio could know anything about it. It's not from here to here. It's like these in these specific places. Oh, these specific train depots is what I'm picturing.

I just get off the train at random spots and ask around. Yeah, because it's like, you know, they would sell like a snake oil salesman. You'd go like from town to town before they caught on. And this person's just gone from like Vagabond from town to town to like figure out who knows about this. What the heck is happening here? And maybe they were going from high school reunion to high school reunion to find like the producer.

Cause it sounds like it's very unclear how they even determined. Like what? Whose high school were they going to at this point? Well, I don't know. I mean, they're apparently going to Toledo Greenville and that the fucking. You're right.

What is it? Flick of a dime? That's not if it was it flick of a dime? Yep. Flick of a dime. So that's how much it is to go from a state, Salt Lake City to Toledo on a on a land track. How long does it take for this? Finally, I was out in Tucson.

It's like, finally my long train journey, my, my train through the prairies finally brought me, my covered wagon brought me to Tucson. All places to get the, not that they don't have Christmas in Tucson, but it just doesn't make me think of a, you know, it's not like you're in like a small Vermont town. You're in Tucson, Arizona. Like something indie, you know. Presumably in April.

Yeah. Like, what? Okay, I guess we don't know what happened. So I don't know what happened. Just get ready. Well, I don't. Impossible. To be clear, I don't, but anyway, yeah, you're right. Finally, I was out in Tucson.

I asked at the Horizon Video Store inside the mall. Finally, somebody knew to what I was referring. At last! But they were going to have to order it for me. So, I had to wait until the next October when I was out to see the new grandson. I then ordered it. My daughter picked it up. When Christmas came, she and her husband had said that Santa had brought it. Oops, caught. The older grandson, for whom I ordered it, said, but mom, you picked it up at the mall. End of review.

I'm so confused. I think some things were out of order there. Okay. In my head, it should have been, the oops caught should have been at the end. Oh, I see. Right? I was like, are you Santa? Is that why you're going from town to town over and over again? the oops caught should have been at the end. Oh, I see. Right.

I was like, are you Santa? Is that why you're going from town to town over and over again? Fair. Well, just those towns, Toledo, you know, all my friends from Toledo talked about how many great, great gifts they got each year. They got like 16 of those robotic dogs

and we only got one. So you're right. Santa stops there a lot more often. One of them got a G 2000 super mattress. Not the Intellibed. Intellibed. Shut the front door. It was wild.

But yeah, what the fuck? Anyway, that just gave me a headache. I guess, well, can we also start with saying, oh, they saw this on TV. Every time they see it on TV, they try to catch the credits, which is like somehow one of the funniest things. And the fact that this was written in 2013,

like you could Google it, right? Like... When I feel like we learned a lot with the introduction of grandchildren. Fair point, fair point, fair point. I'm obviously plenty of grandparents are on the internet and are active even back in 2014 or whatever it was,

like obviously, but I assume that this is just an older person who wasn't as quick to the internet maybe. Yeah, so I love that it's like, oh, I went into this video store at the mall and finally they knew what movie it was. And it's like, well, it sounded like they just Googled it. Yeah, like- Cause you knew the name of the producer

and you knew the name of the movie. You had all the info right there. Right. I feel like it's like when you plug something in and somebody who's not like tech savvy is like, how did you do that? And it's like, well, I could pretend it's really complicated, but it's not.

Like in history class when we had our teacher- I know, exactly. Pull the TV out and then we mixed the wires up when he left briefly. Hilarious. And then he came back and it wasn't working right and we thought we'd get away with like not having to do anything and then he was like,

he like had me go up and fix it or something and like said we were gonna do something else that wasn't fun. So I was like, okay, let me see if I can fix it and I just like switched the wires back. How bad is the worksheet we have to do if I don't fix the TV? So, uh, yeah, I switched it back because I was like, I'd rather just sit here and watch a movie. And then I don't know if it was the same movie. It was the same teacher in same year in same class. And I've told this before. It's been a while.

Is this teacher's name? Is this an S or a J? It's a J. Okay. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's been a while. Is this teacher's name? Because I forgot about this. Is this an S or a J? It's a J. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know who it is. I know. Um, you know him far too well, unfortunately.

His home room, so to speak. And, um. Not good. Um, he was also my coach for a bit. Anyway. Oh, he, uh, he, he was pretty funny at times though. We were watching- Not if you had to see him every morning. We were watching a movie and they had a clip

of the famous kiss, like where the soldier, the sailor returning from war or something, and the kiss and he's like kissing his girlfriend or wife that he's been away from. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's a random lady. Oh, a random lady, that's right. I forgot about that. There is a fun, that is true.

I forgot about that. Anyway, he comes home, it's a random lady. Oh, a random lady, that's right. I forgot about that. There is a fun, that is true. I forgot about that. Anyway, he comes home, look at me making assumptions. He comes home from war and kisses this woman. And the moment he starts kissing her, he goes, Sheefer, close your eyes. Like me, and I was like, of all people. Wait on Zinner. Everyone was laughing so hard.

I was like, it was so funny. on Zinner. Everyone was laughing so hard. I was like, it was so funny. Where are you going? She's walking away. Oh God, people. It's nice to have a moment alone with you all. Oh no, she's back. Thank you for ruining my fucking artwork. She brought back art with an art thing of that moment.

That painting, it's on my shelf right behind me. I bought it in New York many years ago. And obviously, because this is a $1 frame from Ikea, but yeah, thanks for ruining that for me. But Sheafford, close your eyes. Oh, sorry, I should have warned you before I showed you, it was really dark. That's so random.

Yeah, in hindsight, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's probably very mortifying. You know, at the time I was, I was not, not too pleased I think, but, um, man, that was a good one. He got me. He got me real good. Um, I was literally the runt of the whole grade. I was literally the youngest. This is my power. This is my only power over this class. I mean, I,

I was the youngest person in our class the entire time I was there and I had no one necessarily knew, but everyone could tell. I mean, Alexander was 15 and a flight attendant told him he couldn't sit in the exit room. We were like, what, why? And they're like, you have to be like 12 or older or something. And I remember being like, wait, wait, wait, sorry. This I'm banking for later because this is making me laugh. But, uh, so many moments like that in my life.

Just to let everybody have an idea. And then of course the classic, like, oh, you'll appreciate it when you're older, that you look younger than you are. I know, everyone's like- Okay, but I don't appreciate it now. No, not in high school. Yeah, no. And now I don't even care. I'm like, I don't give a shit. Now you just look like Lewis Capaldi and a young Louis Capaldi. Like what more could you ask for?

You know, no, I'll take it. I like it. Also, I know this came out, that came out weeks ago, but fun fact, we posted the photo of the Jude Law, I almost called him George Law, of the Jude Law I saw in Shanghai with a blurred face,

but you can tell it's Jude Law, clearly. It blurred face but you can tell it's Jude law clearly not you you cannot tell it's Jude law because it's not Jude law go check it out if you want everybody okay Graham dot com slash beach do candy sorry look we gotta get a plug-in if you're gonna bring this bullshit up I gotta writing saying Instagram calm like he doesn't know which wires go in which part of the TV. It's really, wow, full circle. Am I right? Okay.

So this is, I have two back to back reviews of the same piece of media. I found this online with some of my like little searches, like little phrases. Yeah. That's how we find these. I mean, usually I just use emails. Searches? Oh, wait. yeah, nevermind. This one I found myself.

Congrats to me. Good job. We got to celebrate it each time it happens now. Yeah, thank you. This is of a movie. Uh, it's called Positive. Now. Okay.

I've never heard of it. Well, that's shocking to me. No, it's not. Uh, okay. I'll read you the synopsis, ready? Or the log line is, when a young woman's boyfriend dumps her after discovering she's pregnant, her mischievous coworker comes up with the scheme to get back at him.

Now there, there could be a number of reasons why this has a 5.3 on IMDB. There could be, there could be a number of reasons. on IMDB, there could be a number of reasons. Not the least of which in my musings, ponderings, is the fact that it came out in March of 2020 and the movie is called Positive. And I thought to myself, what an unfortunate, cause I saw, oh, 2020, it says Positive,

parentheses 2020. And I was like, oh my God, a movie about the pandemic and like, no, no, like it has nothing to do with that. But so I imagined that was kind of a hit for, uh, for the branding, maybe. But, um, anyway, so here, uh, so first I have a positive. This is a 10 out of 10 on IMDb. Now let's recall the challenge. You can wonder why somebody left it 10 stars. The only person to leave it 10 stars.

I'm so sorry. I feel bad. Like this makes it so much more personal, you know? I know, no, it really does, especially because this is like quite a small production. So it's not even like some mega hit or anything. But let's just read it, okay? Go for it.

10 out of 10. I'm just going to say this by Toni. The actress, Kylie Baker, who plays the role as Kylie is a well-known friend of mine from school and she is extremely talented from singing and of course acting. At school she slayed theater class like it was nothing and I hope to see more of her and her talent.

I know that she'll grow to do big things, leading to awards and huge audiences shouting her name, and I'll definitely be there every step of the way. Congratulations, Kylie. You earned everything coming to you positively. Zero out of 29 people found this review helpful. Oh, that is brutal. Not even Kylie, oh. That is brutal, but that's so sweet. I was like, that is brutal. Not even Kylie. Oh.

That is brutal. But that's so sweet. I was like, that's so sweet. And then you came, it came crashing down to that zero, zero out of 29. Like not one person saw that. Not a single. And was like, oh, that's sweet. Let me just give it a little. I tried. I guess technically it doesn't actually. I tried and it said you have to sign in. I said, I forgot my password.

Not worth it. I don't, I'm not gonna go look it up. Yeah, the people who already have accounts making these password, not worth it. I don't, I'm not going to go look it up. Yeah. The people who already have accounts making these reviews, they don't have any patience. No, no, no. They're like, fuck this. Okay. So anyway, I, first of all, I love that she's a well-known friend of mine, which makes it sound

like, oh, it's well understood that she's my friend. But like, I know that's not what they're saying, but I feel like the vibe, I feel like if this were a movie, like Mean Girls or something, Kylie would be like, I know that's not what they're saying, but I feel like if this were a movie, like Mean Girls or something, Kylie would be like, Tony who? You know, like, oh, from theater class, like literally never heard of her in my life, you know,

but I know that- Or they're best friends, okay? You never know. I don't know, to say like, I will follow you around shouting your name. I'm like, come on, unless you have like, a sick narcissistic problem, I feel like you wouldn't,

that wouldn't be your best friend. But. If it were like one out of 30 people found out, I'd be like, okay, there's Kylie. So Kylie does impact a game. Yeah, she's not even in the mix. And this movie has like six reviews. So it's like, you'd think at least you would have seen

like the positive one and been like, thanks for standing up for me. As someone who is a fledgling actor. Who is a well-known friend of mine. I know you hate when I say that, but. Who is trying to make it and doing, well, not bad. I don't know. That sounded intense. Trying to make it in the big city.

That's not what I was trying to say. Trying to, I was going to say like, trying to make it on. He's just a Jewish mouse named Fievel, trying to make it in the new world. Trying to make it on any set, like, you know, just get some experience with some short films and whatever. Like if I were on a film and it was on IMDB, whatever, I don't think I'd read the reviews. Absolutely not.

Oh, I certainly wouldn't either. But this one I'd be probably embarrassed because I'd be like, Hey, that doesn't make me look legit. Like you're making it sound like this review. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, maybe a little, I mean, I don't know. I assume this, this person you slay. So I assume it's a, it's not, it's a Gen Z, it's a peer, like a friend. I don't know.

I don't think it's that. I don't think it's embarrassing, but I see what you're saying. I mean, I would, okay, here, hold your, maybe put pause on your opinion until I read the second review again. Of the same movie? Yeah.

Oh, okay. This is a one-star review everyone? No, no, I'm sorry. This is to be clear. This is just a rebuttal to this 10 out of 10 Oh my god, I was like I was like, uh-oh here's like Like clearly from Somebody I imagine who's older. Yeah left a one out of 10 stars with the title. I'm dreading this. Yeah. The title is LMAO reviews from friends always make me laugh.

That's so mean. I hate this. I already hate it so much. Here's the review. This movie is absolutely terrible. The directing, acting, script and production are all bad. There is actually nothing redeemable about it. In fact, if my friend was in this movie, instead of giving it a perfect score, I'd stop being friends with them. That's how bad it is. You have been warned. Do not waste your time on this movie. Four out of six people found this helpful. End of review. People are bitter, bitter lonely people. You are bitches.

That is awful. Wow. Wow. Okay, but so then- Poor Kylie. I feel like I actually was quite triggered when I read this last night and I'm feeling it again because I'm like, why are my palms so sweaty? It's because as I wrote right after this,

I was too ashamed to go looking for the review I wrote when I was like 13 about our family friends book. Here, I'm going to write it in because I don't want to call them out. I have no idea what you're in. Cause I don't want to call them out. I don't want to call them out. So I just sent you the name of this person I'm discussing who was an adult in our lives, like who was very close to us and published a book. Like, I mean, the kind of guy who was like, he was like on

C-SPAN and studied like international relations. So it wasn't anything I would have understood. See, if you had said this part, I would have understood. I just, you paused and I sent it to me and then said. See, if you had said this part, I would have understood. I just paused and I sent it to me and then said that. I was like, oh, okay, well, duh. My brain wasn't on track, the proper order. But yes, so this person wrote a book, like something obscure,

just like as, I don't know, a thesis or something. And I, this is like the new days of Amazon. This was like, oh God, I don't know how old I was, but it was like the early two thousands. And I wrote a fricking review, a five star in the most like cringy early two thousands with like asterisks and squiggles. And like, I wrote like, I know him, he's a genius,

like spelled wrong. Like it was really, really bad. I can picture it. Yeah. And it was from like, I'm always crazy 444, which was my username. And like, I remember a scathing response and this, his book had three reviews.

One was just like a rating. One was me being like five stars, cause you're a genius and I know you and I'm an eighth grader. And then the like other one was like, five stars, cause you're a genius and I know you and I'm an eighth grader. And then the other one was like, I had respect for this until that slimy review from someone who knows the author. And I'm like, okay, first of all, I'm clearly 12.

Second of all, I promise you this person didn't solicit my review. I'm sure in fact they were probably mortified because again, they're like on C-SPAN. They did not want this energy on their Amazon page, but it is still out there because every now and then he'll text it to me and I'll want to melt into the ground and die,

but I don't know how to get back into my account from, you know, it's maybe for the best. I was like, so that's why I just wrote like, this has happened to me. I've been that person. This was enough. I think we can all picture it too. We know you. It's almost like I'm probably making it worse, but anyway, this is the last one I have.

And this is a back to back that ends with a five star. And okay, let me just tell you about the movie first. It's called Good Life and it came out in 2021. And this is actually from Letterboxd. So this is like my first foray into Letterboxd. And the, the tagline is good life. It's closer than you think. And here's the synopsis.

Olive Papadopoulos, 35, an oral hygienist for some reason, capital O, capital H, flees Cape Town for Greece to try outwit a broken heart, but is faced with the local villagers, no parentheses, or no apostrophe, hostility, and is befriended by a seven-year-old refugee who teaches her how to live the good life. So, I mean, I think this is quite a small production. Wow. That's quite the plot. Someone was like, I want to take a vacation to Greece. Me too.

Can we do that? I'm saying that's what they did and that's why they wrote this movie. Oh, I thought you said you're saying that. I was like, oh me too. No. Like how Adam Sandler has all these trips with his buddies basically,

because he makes all these ridiculous. Wait, really? I did not know that. I mean, yeah. He like as a film then sets it in a tropical place and then he and his friends who were in the film all go and hang out there and do the film. I was, okay, I'm sorry. I have to do it again.

The last time, last time this episode or last time today that I referenced Abbott Elementary but there's the principle like disses somebody by saying you look like, cause it's, it's really, it's really valuable. It's like, you look like Adam Sandler at an awards show. You look like Adam Sandler at a funeral. You look like Adam Sandler at a wedding. And it's like, Oh man, that is like, that's it.

That's the vibe. But it sounds like he knows what he's doing. He's just like going to Bermuda. Oh, comfort. He just lives in comfort. He lives in comfort. Why not? Okay. So anyway, this is the good life. No, I'm sorry. It's good life. And I first have a one and a half star review by Cat in the Hat Enthusiast, which is excellent.

And this, this person does not, here, I'll just read them both back to back. A film set in Greece, fully filmed around Cape Town. So by the way, they didn't even go to Greece. Got it. So that's kind of hilarious. Maybe they wanted to go to Cape Town. They didn't have the money. Oh yeah, maybe that's what it was.

To then go to Greece. A film set in Greece, fully filmed around Cape Town, family watches picked solely by my mom will be the end of any and all letterbox integrity. End of review. So basically they're saying like, from now on, like any, if my mother continues to pick movies on movie night,

like- The movies we watch, yeah. Like that's the end of like integrity on, like stop. I don't know. I don't know quite what it means, but like it's basically insulting the movie and their mother at the same time. And this is a five star view by Jack, who has a little baby Kermit as their profile picture. Jack gave it five stars. This is redemption of good life. And it says, This is redemption of good life. And it says, my mom was in this movie, so I am legally obligated to give it five stars.

End of review. So that is my full circle. Oh, I love it. I love it. I wonder if they have the same mom and the mom's like, let's pick it. It's like, mom, no, we've seen it. The two siblings are like, one is like, one is

like, please, can we stop watching it? The other's like, oh my God, my mom's in a movie. Mom, you're so fam- You're so good in that movie. She's like, tell me again, how good I am in that movie. That's cute though. I do find it so wholesome, the ones that people are- I do too.

And I love when they're just like, obviously like, listen, I know, I know I'm biased. I'm incredibly biased. I'm the most biased, but like five fucking stars. I'm like, what a good friend, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm hoping, uh, was it Kylie? Kylie's doing well and the mom and, and that high school classmate. Oh man. They're all doing, doing great.

It sounds like whoever that classmate is, like, is the best, world's best cheer leader. Like I would, I want them in my corner Know the reviewer. Yeah, I was saying the people involved in the thing. Oh But yes, yeah, how about I want everyone to be doing well Actually, I actually know I felt better when we were specifically picking people. Okay Who we got to pick who we want. We gotta pick who we wanna stay sandy and who we want to get not stay sandy. How about all of Papadopoulos35 and oral hygienist

who's fleeing to try out with a broken heart? Well, it sounds like living the good life means that they're not staying sandy. You're right. So it's too late. It's too late. Okay. I have to pee. Yeah. I gotta go eat something. I'm, I have no idea where I am right now, but everyone guess where I know where I'll be less than two months from now and it's starting our tour. So get your tickets, beach to sandy.com. If you want to see us live,

this is your weekly reminder. I'm going to say this is your last chance. And I Well, hey, maybe. They're all almost sold out. You never know. I highly doubt that. But they might also be sold out. And if so, thank you for buying our tickets and we're excited to see you all. All right. Love you. Bye. Bye. Beach 2 Sandy, Water 2 Wet is a Forever Dog production. Hosted and produced by Zandy and

Christine Schieffer. Edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. Forever Dogg Productions is Joe Zilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.