Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 282: Reviews of Groupons

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hi. Oh, I thought you were introducing us to this episode, but you're just saying hi to me. Hi. I was just saying hi to everyone. Okay. I don't discriminate with my Bavarian greetings, but hello everyone. We are here today. You may not have recognized me. I'm wearing my broken blue light glasses, but we are here today. Excitingly, we're on video for Patreon, so I felt the need to

put on my blue broken blue light glasses so everyone can see the real me. Because we're updating our whole Patreon, Zandi. Yes, we are. We are making some huge changes. So we want to go through them real quick. We announced it on Monday, so patrons should have seen it, but we want to talk... What? Oh, hey, ah, ah. Yes, we announced it on Monday. We announced it on social media and we announced it on Patreon. We haven't announced it on the podcast yet. Yes, so now we're announcing it on the podcast. And yeah, just wanted to run through it quick. Basically, we are keeping two tiers, but making them different. So instead of a $2 and a $5 tier,

it'll be a $5 and a $10 tier. The $5 tier will have ad-free listening for everyone. What are they called? The $5 tier is going to be cool cruisers still. That's right. And that'll have ad- free listening for all of our future episodes. So anything like uploaded after we start that, by the way, this starts May 22nd. It'll have ad free listening to all future episodes. It will have surveys, polls,

et cetera, a monthly bonus episode, audio episode, just like we always have been and also a Patreon voicemail box where people can send in their reviews or whatever into this voicemail box, which what the hell? I'm already sensing this is going to be a massive regret on our part because we're just kind of opening the floodgates for you to just tell us anything. But I'm kind of excited. It feels like a chaotic choice and I can't wait. Exactly, so it kind of fits.

It makes sense to do, but regrets, it might be, we might regret it, but try not to make us regret it, patrons. And then, yeah, but the big thing is for, I mean, $10 tier. The big overhaul. The contained sexy stuff will be containing sexy stuff because it will be our full video episodes. Look at me.

Also ad free, of course, just full of video episodes. Yeah, so you get to watch us react, watch us like, because we, I feel like we talk about a lot of things and we have to describe them and it's hard to do. Yeah. Yeah. But we're like, oh, look at this. Like you just literally started this episode talking about your blue light. By the way, I realized this is not on video yet because it's not May 22nd. You know, it's not, but it's a practice. You know what I think we could do? I think we should release this to our current $2 and $5 patrons. Oh wait, that's so smart. To be like, hey, like as a little teaser,

but also as like a, hey, this is what it's gonna look like if you wanna bump up. I mean, I put on makeup and I want something to show for it. So yeah. Yeah, that's so true. And also y'all, the quality will be incredible. Like we've already seen the assets that like are gonna go into these videos

and we've seen some examples and sample videos It's gonna be fun for you all. I promise like it's it's cool. So we're really excited. We're excited. We're revamping our old patreon Existing patrons there will be an a message on there is a message on patreon to explain and there's an email going out to explain Everything but in the meantime, yeah, you can check it out at patreon.com slash beach to Sandy. And if you are like not feeling it, totally fine. For now, for always, you still get just our normal episode free every week. Yeah, we're not changing anything about our regular.

Nothing's changing on the regular podcast. We were just excited about our Patreon. I'll just have to like sit up straight a little bit more often when we record. Yeah, our posture is going to be incrementally better. Perhaps. I'm just going to go out the window real quick. Yeah, for a few weeks we might try.

Maybe. Yeah. Anyway, episode 282. Is that what this is? 282? It is. Okay. Well, it's reviews? Is that what this is? 282? That it is. Okay, well, it's reviews of Groupons and my challenge was from Gregory to find reviews

where the reviewer complains the product wasn't accurately depicted in a film or TV show. Yeah. I have a talking point. What did your note say? What weird thing did you put in your notes? It says... Is it actually weird? Well, I'm just gonna send you this.

Uh oh, that's never good. Good start. I'm just gonna send you this. Here it is. It's just to show you what I wrote. It only has... I only came up with, oh, I accidentally revealed my other. And I didn't. You're, you're. You're. You're.

You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're.

You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're.

You're. You're. You're. You me. So it was very convenient. I can't read it when I'm holding it to the camera. It says talking points, but then I could only come up with one talking point. So I crossed off. You've gone, oh, oh, you crossed. That's what it is. I see you're acknowledging this.

It's a strike through on the S. I had to strike through the S to say talking point. But the S is huge. Well, to intentionally show myself that there's only one talking point in case I forgot. If only you had just deleted the S. Yeah, but then I thought, why would I write talking point? My talking point.

You got me there actually. I don't. My talking point is. Weirdly that makes sense to me, but that doesn't mean much. So. The talking point is, have you Alexander ever used a Groupon? Probably, I don't remember.

You don't remember? I see what you remember using it for. I didn't mean to show you that part, but because this was my fun reveal of an anecdote, but I once bought bras on Groupon, and I will tell you it was a mistake. Why? I mean, they were shitty quality.

Shitty quality, they were packaged in some Saran wrap and just mailed to my house. They were, they were shitty quality. Shitty quality. They were like packaged in some like Saran wrap and just like mailed to my house. They were, they did not fit right. They were not comfortable. There's no return policy and it was lime green. That's rough. It was rough. That is something.

And the reason I remember is I never wore them. Yeah. But then I left them in my drawer for like years, you know, because I didn't know what to do with them. And so I just saw that lime green, it was like a memento, a reminder of my failure when I bought underwear on Groupon one time. What was I thinking?

I did search my email and I found one. You did? Yeah. Go ahead, share with the class. This was in, let's see, 2015. Oh, boy. I got a Groupon for 10 classes at this bootcamp in Cincinnati. Oh.

Like a fitness bootcamp thing. I believe I went once, threw up, and never went back. I'm sorry. So that is my experience with Groupon. I shouldn't laugh. once threw up and never went back. So that is my experience with Groupon. I'm sorry. I actually, I found one that I just Googled my inbox to or searched my inbox for Groupon and I also purchased a Groupon, but it was in 2019, apparently for yoga classes that I can confidently say

I never attended a single one. Yeah, you know, that happens. I feel like in LA, it wasn't Groupon, but there was another like yoga, like bulk yoga. I don't think. Bulk perch, bulk class? I guess that's kind of misleading. But yeah, you'd get like a ticket, punch ticket type thing. I think I went twice out of 10 maybe.

I see. I always tell myself it's going to convince me. Larry, sorry. It'll like motivate you. I'm a good idea. And then it just feels even worse when you inevitably don't go. Because this one, I just looked, it was $75 for 10 classes, 10 classes though. That's that's cheap.

Oh no, it's a great deal, but if you don't attend the classes, then you feel even worse because you're like, why did I buy all these classes when I'm not even gonna go? Good point. But hey, $75 for a bootcamp class. The risk reward is like quite,

yeah, it's quite a balance. You're so right. I don't know. The bras were at least like a one and done thing, but I did have to sit through, as I just saw in my inbox, many weeks of Groupon saying, how are your classes going?

And me saying, I wish you would stop telling me that, like reminding me of my failure. Yeah. All I can think about is that lime green bra. Yeah. I just looked and saw an email from the instructor that I just, I completely ghosted them. I was, they were like, how are you liking the class? I haven't heard from you.

Just, yeah, I like to think that when I see a Groupon user, they're like, hit or miss, probably won't come back. You know, they probably know. They probably know. It was also at like 5 30 in the morning or something crazy. It was like an insane. Well that, it's hard on you, no offense. Yeah, the whole thing was. I shouldn't have done it at all.

Anyway, anyway, anyway, let's get into it. I'm gonna go first because I just have so many. I hope that's okay. Mine are only from two emails. Wow. But they were just, yeah, but I had to like pick and choose, but they were all so good that I still came with far too many as usual.

So I also created like a little game, but then it doesn't work for all of them. But my game is just like, if I read one, maybe you can try to guess what like service or product they purchased. I like it, I like it. This one is, it's not part of the game. Anyway, this is an email from Georgia.

She, they pronouns, and it is a one star review of Groupon as an entity. Oh. Yeah, so this one is specifically of the company Groupon, I believe. That's fun. Yeah, so one star. Oh, this is on Trustpilot, by the way.

And it says, extremely annoyed is the title. Oh, and this was, by the way, written April 2nd of 2024. So apparently still going strong or not so strong in this case. Your Groupon is, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They emailed me in February saying suspicious account activity. I just saw that. They were like someone bought yoga classes

or boot camp on this. Something terrible has gone wrong. No, no. It was like someone bought it and actually used it. Oh. That's what's weird. Someone bought more lime green bras on your account. That can't be right. Okay. Extrem extremely annoyed it says. This is by Ali. Extremely annoyed. I purchased a mattress which is worse than anything I have ever purchased and I contacted Groupon to initiate the return six days ago. They told me someone will contact me within a day. When no one did, I contacted them back. They said someone will contact me within three days. It has now been six days. I contacted them again today and have been told to wait 48 hours. What

happens if no one contacts me ever? I will be stuck with a faulty mattress which takes up most of my bedroom forever. End of review. I don't think that's how that works. It's not like a lifetime contractual obligation. Oh, no. Well, I didn't read the- Well- I don't know. We didn't read the Groupon.

The fine print. Hey, people complain all the time. They're like, yeah, I brought this Groupon and they had all this fine print. They said it didn't count for this or that. So who knows? Maybe it is a lifetime contract. I mean, that's why I had to keep that lime green bra for six years because it was like, well, I'm contractually obligated to stare at my mistake every day.

Um, and you had to send pictures to that one guy who sold it to you, right? Like update things. That's why it was so cheap. Yeah. Uh, I, is that what you had to do with your bootcamp too? You just had to send pictures.

I went on the run. I was like, I got, I can't, I've, I changed my name. So by the way, there's a note here from Georgia, which says, I'm just imagining this person trapped in their bedroom forever by this massive faulty mattress. And also a note, Groupon was spelled G-R-U-P-O-N. And so Georgia wrote, is this the plot of Despicable Me 4? Groupon. That's just very silly. It made me laugh. That is silly.

But I would say, I would argue like of things to buy on Groupon, I would say, I would guess a mattress is up there on the list of probably worst things to purchase on Groupon. It was impossible for me to return one bra, so I imagine a mattress, it's going to be tough times. Yeah. I mean, it's also something you'd want to test drive usually. I know there are a lot of mattress companies like online, but those I feel like you can get it and then try it and send it back fairly easily. They have that built into their system. It's like built in. Yeah. But yeah, Groupon, you might just be stuck with it. Might be no refunds kind of thing.

You know, it just gets all fucky and it's sketchy. And I don't know, not that Groupon sketchy, but like I feel like most places can just have groupons and then say whatever they want. Yeah, they're kind of a middleman sometimes, you know. Yeah, I feel like they usually are right. I don't totally understand how Groupon. I don't either.

But for the amount that I know, like for the amount that I feel like they usually are, right? I don't totally understand how Groupon works. I don't either, it feels, for the amount that I know, like for the amount that I feel like Groupon has existed in my brain space for the last decade, I know barely anything about it. I just realized we should probably tell people what this is, you know, it might not be the thing that's universal. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Why would it be? Oh, you're so right.

But I'm gonna read about it. Basically, it's an an e commerce marketplace, blah, blah, blah. Um, oh, this is boring. Hold on. Sorry, Wikipedia, but it's all about finances and stuff. But so oh, it started when the creator wanted to cancel a mobile phone contract. And he thought, oh, like, maybe we can use a group of people. So, sorry, why did I start reading this? I'm not doing that.

Nevermind, nevermind, I'm not reading that. It's too wordy. Okay, basically merchants will be like, hey, like we will give you a deal on this. And a lot of them, like we said, are like fitness classes, we'll have them. You'll see more examples, of course, as we move on.

Massages. Massages is a big one, things like that. And they'll offer like special discounts. And it'll be like, and usually the parameters are pretty tight, I think, where it's like, oh, you have to get this specific type of massage or this specific type of service. Like tip not included.

Yeah. But sometimes it's like 90% off or something, or like 10 classes for 75 bucks like I got, which was like a crazy good deal. And it's meant to, I think, entice people to try out this place and then hopefully then and you can't use like a Groupon every 10, you'd have to then sign up and pay full price if you want to stick around. They want you in the door.

Yeah. So I think that's about it. Basically discounts, coupons. There's a lot of different countries, different countries have different versions of this as well. I think I brought one to the table. That's like a UK version, but another version is living social.

That's a big one, really similar type deals. I will say I just went onto Gripon's website and it looks like they're with it, with the times, because their banner says, celebrate 420 day. So they're halfway there, they're halfway with it. They're trying. Trying. I do not see that on my website when I have Groupon.

Oh, well maybe my. Mine mentions Chuck E. Cheese. Apparently Chuck E. Cheese has fucking Groupons. Wait, are you serious? Mine talks about CBD and yours talks about Chuck E. Cheese. You can get a Groupon for Chuck E Cheese apparently Chuck E Cheese has Serious mine talks about CBD and yours talks about Chuck E Cheese. You can get a group on for Chuck E Cheese $20 for 60 minutes all you can play valid weekdays No, you know what? Let me read one because you're saying that okay

I'm sending this to you because I feel like I want you to believe me that it says save up to 80% off celebrate for 20 day. So it's so goofy. It's bad. One option for you to celebrate that is the grow ology school. This was sent in by Milo, I believe. And this is a review. I believe and this is a review. Celebrate 420, that's ridiculous. Oh, save up to 80% off CBD products,

wellness essentials more. They don't even mention THC. They're just like CBD, you know? Yeah, probably smart for legal stuff, I guess, but celebrate 420. Do people say that? 420 day? That's not a thing, right?

No, that's why it's so funny. I know. Nobody says that. Why would they think that? Like who let that That's not a thing. No, that's why it's so funny. I know. Nobody says that. Why would they think that? Like who let that happen? I don't know. OK, anyway, so this is a growology school. What's that?

The growology school is a place for those who wish to learn not only about growing marijuana the right way, but also about starting a career in the cannabis industry. Devoted and experienced instructors aim to shine a light on some topics that might be difficult for amateurs such as laws regarding marijuana, laws regarding marijuana state requirements usage of different cannabinoids in medicine and more. Okay. And then the fine print, you got to use it within 180 days. Oh, that's the other thing. You buy it and then you don't have to use it right away

usually. Like at least that's how it was with mine Where it was like there was a big lawsuit About group regarding Groupon and it now Groupon lost a shit ton of money because They used to if you didn't use your Groupon on time They would just recoup the cost and you wouldn't get your money back now They're legally required to return your money in the form of a Groupon voucher if you never use what you purchased. Because if you buy it and even though you technically got a coupon, it wasn't considered a service rendered. So I was thrilled because

I had not attended any of my yoga classes and I got like 30 bucks back or something. But yeah, it's a fun fact. Pete That is a fun fact. Well, this course, online course, it's an online marijuana growology course for one. You could also do it for two, which why don't you just have them sit next to you on the computer? I don't know. But – Beth Oh, it's online. Pete It's online. $199 normally.

Groupon? Maybe they use the LSAT tracker. Like where they, like for like if you're taking the LSAT, or I'm sorry, taking the bar and they have like the eye trackers to make sure you're not looking. Oh. For clues, not for clues.

For like, you're not cheating, you know? Your eyes can't wander, yeah, yeah. Yeah, your eyes can't wander for too long. I don't think this course is graded. I could be wrong, but I don't. They're like, no, I mean, if you buy for one or for two, they're like, they're better not be a second person. See how many eyes?

So you gotta like close your, close, every person closes one eye. Yeah. There's one of us here. So stupid, okay. That's so dumb. I'm sorry, I don't know. I love that, okay.

I'm sorry, instead of $199 on Groupon, you can get it for $8. Oh, wow. Sorry, I shouted, but that's, wow. Which kind of sketches me out. I feel like it's like too, that's too much. You're getting too much of a discount where I'm like, am I gonna go through this

and be like, yeah, that was worth $8. Right. Yes. Like it's not like I'm gonna go through and be like, that was worth $200. I can't believe I got it for eight. Like now I'm like, there's no way that would feel that way. It's like when you're buying, say a mattress

and they're like, it's $14.99. And you're like, well, that can't be good. Like nothing good can come of this. Yeah. So this is a review of the Growology School, a one star review from this year actually. Here we go. My Groupon was redeemed by a third party person, aka a hacker. I'm unable to use my own fucking Groupon due to, well, looking forward to now because of

this punk bitch living on my blog momentarily be and E's and home invasions, stealing all of my stuff, including that of my late mother's, to capitalize on our identities. Beware of my neighbor's illegitimate crotch goblin. She gun steal of you. End of review. What?! Alexander, what's going on? I did garrology respond and was just like, please call our number. Help me please, what's going on? The biology respondent was just like, please call our number.

Help me please, what's happening? I'm sorry, the breaking and entering, B and E, breaking and entering. Yeah, so I think someone broke in. They broke in to seal the $8 Groupon? You know, that seems to be what's being implied. That's a danger that I didn't know was even on the table. I'm not sure.

I don't think they're saying that that's why the person broke in, but this person might've been like, Ooh, a printout of a Groupon at Growology. How fun. That's so sad. That would be hilarious. They check the printer tray. That's like a, like a much, an off, off overlooked area when you're breaking an entry and when you're burglarizing someone.

Good point. Yeah, good point. Yeah, you just check the printer tray because they could be printing their social security number, they could be printing a Groupon, who knows? Printing their social, like just on a piece of computer paper? Just big letters, maybe. Letters? What kind of social security number do you have? It's in Wingdings, just for seek for privacy. Wait.

I only print my social security number in Wingdings in case a burglar checks my printer tray. Okay. You're on to something here. I like that. I think so. Yeah. That was so dramatic, Alexander, that I'm like kind of overwhelmed about that. Is it crotch goblin? Is that offspring? Is that another word for offspring? Um, yes. Okay. Gotcha. about that. Is it crotch goblin? Is that the, is that offspring? Is that another word for offspring? Yes. Okay. Gotcha. So, and I removed a name and said my neighbor instead of the person's name, because I just didn't want to come up with fake name. But like was so it appears that it's like

they're someone on their block, their child has been like did the B and E. Did the B and E. And did the class, the Groupon class. Check the Printer Dray took an $8 growology course. And by the way, you know, it's so cool is now they're a Forbes 30 under 30 because they took that course and it like they were able to do kind of a rags to riches situation like how a burglary. We got to celebrate that.

I'm fine with that. I think it's a beautiful story and I think this person is in the wrong. Get over it. And that crotch goblin was Elon Musk. No, I'm trying. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know rich cannabis people, but Willie Nelson, now that's a- Does anyone know rich cannabis?

Is that a thing? I mean, I'm sure it will be eventually. Maybe not. Maybe, maybe. Actually not really. I guess I don't know many. Nevermind. Okay, this is so not interesting what I'm saying.

Okay, so this email, this is also from Georgia in Georgia's email and this is one where Georgia wrote, what could this Groupon possibly have been for? And we don't know. We don't know? What does that mean? We don't know. So it's another review of Groupon as a company.

Oh, I see, I see. But it is discussing the Groupon they purchased. Got it. And just so you know, it references pets at home, but that's basically, they said, Georgia said this is like a pet shop chain, sort of like Petco or PetSmart in the UK. So this is Groupon UK. Oh, like Pet Shop Boys.

Just like Pet Shop Boys, Boys 2 men. What's Pet Shop Boys? Is that a band? Yes. Okay. That's what I thought. Oh dear. Oh dear. It's a dual I believe, but. Oh, it's, it's two boys. I, it's not like that at all. It's Pet Smart. Uh, it's Pet Smart for British people. Okay. So I'm going to change it. They're also, they are British. That's why I said that. Sorry. Nevermind. Okay. Okay. Well, you know what? Sorry. What are we talking about Pet Shops?

This is a review of Groupon UK and instead of Pets at Home, I'm going to change it to Pet Shop Boys. Oh, okay. Stop saying that. I'm going to change it to pets. Pet Shop Boy. Oh, okay. Stop saying that. I'm getting angry. We have listeners over there. Let them have this. Fine. No, I'm not gonna let them have it

because pets at home doesn't, okay. That's fine. I'll allow it. You do what you want. I'm being annoying, I apologize. I will take a back seat for once. This is a two-star review, it's verified, and the title is, My daughter was desperate to hold one, dot dot dot.

Uh-oh. Uh-uh. That's not good. Like if your child is desperate to hold an animal, do not let them hold an animal, I'm sorry. My daughter was desperate to hold one of the rabbits, but we were told, no, you can only hold a guinea pig. The girl said they couldn't scare the rabbits.

My daughter was so disappointed. We went to PetSmart instead, end of review. Oh my God. I don't know. So that's why Georgia was like, what could this possibly be for? Yeah, where like a petting zoo or something? I don't know. A petting zoo?

Another pet, a different pet store? It must be a pet store, right? But like, I don't understand why it would be a whole- One of the pet shop boys, their name is Rabbit and the other is Guinea Pig. So like that's their- Stop their, those are their stage names. So that might be a, they might have been. Stop it right now.

And Rabbit is really, he's really sensitive. So yeah, he scares easily. Yeah, it's actually Eminem. I wonder what are you talking about? I've lost. No, I haven't. You've lost it. I've lost the plot. No, I haven't. You've lost it. I've lost the plot.

You've lost the plot. I and everyone else have lost the plot. No, 8 Mile, Eminem's character's nickname is Rabbit. So it made sense. Well, okay. And I went to the link, by the way, of this review that George has sent, and I found that there was actually a reply

from Groupon UK. I'm just gonna read the first line. Hi Melanie, thanks for your review. We're very sorry to hear about the difficulties you have faced. We will definitely take your feedback seriously and start working on our service improvement. That sounded so sarcastic.

It sounded too boilerplate that it actually doesn't work. Yeah, agreed. It's so vague that it's not going to work on this one. It's like that meme of like, oh, I'm not going to read all that, but I'm sorry or I'm happy for you or whatever. It's like, I don't know what you're saying here. Pick whichever is the relevant response. We'll be better, I guess.

This is like, I don't know. Yeah. saying here, but. Pick whichever is the relevant response. We'll be better, I guess. Like, is this like, I don't know. Yeah, thank you for sharing, question mark. Yeah, the idea that this girl was so tragically sad that she couldn't hold a rabbit, and then a group on UK was like, you know what? We are internally taking this incredibly seriously, and we are going to change the way that we function as a corporation because of this. It's like, all right, like maybe tone it down and not your daughter couldn't hold over a rabbit at

an unknown place. That's the thing. Yeah, it's like also true. It's not even it wasn't even group on fall group on didn't do anything here. Like group on out of nothing to do with this. Just write a review for that small pet store. And actually, I don't have an example of that until my very last one. I'm saving it. It's a really good one. So never mind.

I have something similar about someone did review Groupon. I believe that it looked like they're reviewing Groupon UK, but it was a review of their Groupon experience. But I'll read that later. So here next, I have a review from Matt and Jen. This is a Yelp review, but it mentions the Groupon that was used, so I count it. I don't know. It was too good not to bring. This is of a Will's Holistic Studio. It's a massage parlor, it looks like, kind of thing. It just says massage in Birmingham, Michigan.

This is a one-star review. Diane has to say, okay? The worst massage experience ever. Sorry, Brian, but you need some help with your professionalism. I bought my massage off Groupon for myself and my friend. We wanted to go together, but he was booked up for over a month. She went first a few weeks earlier and was hesitant to share how awkward and creepy it was for her. She also said he talks a lot. When I arrived, I tried to make it clear that I needed peace and quiet by telling him, I am a therapist. Hint, hint, Brian. I listen to people talk about themselves for a living. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. If somebody told me, oh, I'm a therapist,

and that was them setting the tone, my thought would be, oh, what? Do you want me to like talk about myself? Like, I feel like saying I'm a therapist does not give the indication you don't want them to speak. You know, that's a good point. I don't disagree with you. Like, I feel like saying I'm a therapist

sounds like you're ready to hear them talk. I feel like it depends on the context. If you, if you do, if this reviewer, if Diane had said all of, like said everything, been like, hey, like I'm a therapist. So I would have to listen to people talk all day. This is my time for whatever. And there are more hints given, don't worry.

So I think you'll be... the tides shift. I'll give her a break for a minute. Okay. Obviously no one goes to a massage to listen to their masseuse talk about himself for the whole time. He asked me if I liked heat. I said yes, and then later asked how I was doing during the massage. He offered for me to take the sheet off if I was too hot. I'm sorry, not about to be naked in a basement office with a strange man as he rubs my body." Well, he's trying to tell you about himself. He's trying to get to know you first. And you're not- He's like, this is how my therapist and I communicate. Vulnerability. Oh no. This is what I thought therapy is about, how this works. Oh no.

Vulnerability. During the massage, he asked me how I found out about him and then proceeded to drill me for more information about my friend's experience. He admitted he talks a lot. I told him it was hard to answer him because I was relaxed. Sadly, this did not work. He continued to ask me direct questions. How old are you?

How much do you weigh? As if whatever point he was making. Do you have a kidney? Is it healthy? Is it a, ooh, I can feel it in there, ooh. Do you, what, poking- That's a plump kidney. Ew, do you have any counter indications

toward anesthesia, just out of curiosity? How old are you? How much do you weigh? As if whatever point he was making, he needed to know these things about me. I laughed awkwardly and said, um, thirties? How come? And got nothing. Then he wanted to know specifically how old I was.

Well, that's not very specific. Seriously, guy? Can you take a hint? Then went on to tell me very sexist, incorrect facts about women. Oh, good. Did you know pregnant women's brains die a little and that is why they are so crazy? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sorry, that's good. That's like right up there with the Titanic guy saying, women want to kill themselves until they come to my exhibit. That was fucking crazy. It's like, wow, you really have created like a fascinating idea of how the female mind works. I mean, he's correct about that, to be fair.

It is scientifically accurate. Is that science? Okay, I'll trust you. This was not the end. You should know he grunts a lot during the massage. When I was on my back, he was massaging my pecs, strange plays, but what the hell do I know, and grunted and was like, oh, all those pushups you do.

Ew! I'm so sorry, I heard that reverberate through you back into my ears. Yeah, and out of my headphones. That's how loud I screamed, I'm so sorry, and that must've been a terrible sound. No, no, no, I hear my headphones. They're open back, that's why, that's how loud I should scream. I'm so sorry. I know that must've been a terrible sound. No, no, no. I have my headphones down. They're open back.

That's why. That's why people, if, hey, patrons can see them. They're open back? Yeah. They're not. I mean, they're not, it's not like, nevermind. It's a type, nevermind.

I know. I know. I know all about it. This feels like the, but this feels like the wolf in like, Little Red Riding Hood I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You just kept going. I just kept going. While he may be harmless, it seems very creepy. At the end, I told him I had a Groupon. He refused to even look at the voucher. I was supposed to get champagne and a sugar scrub. You can guess he did not offer this. He told me, honey, don't even worry about that. I only make $20 off those. So then asked me to set up another appointment with him

because that would help him out more. I thought I was free to leave, but he would not stop talking to me. It seemed like he wanted feedback about why people do not come back. Is it the basement location? Is it how he quote has unconventional looks? The fact that he talks too much? The name? Also if you're not doing so well with clients, then why are you booked up for weeks? We'll not ever go back here again. It is hard to just get up and leave due to social niceties. You try to make sense of these things while it is happening, but after looking back, I should have just walked out. Oh well, at least I can help out the next person.

End of review. Which that last paragraph hit kind of hard. Like to me, it was very much like, oh yeah, like, you know, the social niceties. It's like, it's hard to get up and leave, but then looking back, you're like, what the fuck was I thinking not leaving? You feel like you're in a sort of fight or flight scenario

in the moment where you're like, I just have to get through this. And then you get home and you think, wow, I could have done this. I should have done this, but like. Yeah. Like you could have saved yourself a lot of anxiety and like discomfort if you just left. But I wouldn't blame someone because I wouldn't leave.

I wouldn't either. And I haven't. I did leave after puking at that one group. Well, that part's more, it's like the shame, the least, it's like the lesser evil at that point, but no, I went to a massage once and they, and the woman spoke literally every single second about the most off the wall, like to the point where I thought this can't be a real massage therapy. Like I was so taken aback. She talked the entire time and then told me how she had built her own

antibodies to the COVID, to COVID so So she didn't need a vaccine. It just was so out of control. And it was like- You should have gotten a vial from her, a vial of her antibodies. That's crazy. Good for her. She probably offered, Alexander, she probably offered it. And I was like, I'm fine. Nice.

Oh, here's my freezer. You want to take, take a peek at my offerings? She literally said, she asked if I was vaccinated. I say, yes. Thinking like, oh, well she just wants to know for safety. Yep. That would be my assumption. She said, usually I don't like to be around people who've been vaccinated. And I was like, uh, I was that to be fair, that was like 45 minutes into an hour long

massage. Okay. Okay. Okay. At this point. And by the way, it was like, I remember texting Renee, like, I just need to write this somewhere because like, I was like, I'm never gonna, I'm gonna try to forget it. Somewhere it exists in a story. It was the, so this sounds worse because it was a man.

And also it sounds like he wanted your organs and for to attack you. Yeah, it's bad. It's, I don't blame someone for not wanting, you're in someone else's space. You don't know how they're going to react if you say anything negative. You have to don't know how they're going to react. If you say anything negative, you have to try to keep,

keep the peace, so to speak. And what are you going to do? So yeah, I, I'm glad it wasn't worse, I guess. Like it didn't, it sounds terrible, but I'm glad it didn't get worse. But yeah, I mean, I'm glad like nothing happened. Action wise. Yeah.

No actions were taken. It's just, yeah, no, it's just a scary thing anyway. So. Well, that's rough times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So next up, I have a review of, of Groupon itself.

This is one of the wildest ones I have. It's also from Georgia. It's a two-star review and the title is Groupon Has Joined the Let's Gouge People Bandwagon. This is a two-star review by Marion. I am so tired of companies and businesses using COVID and now war to take advantage of people. Oh, I'm sorry, there's a war going on, so. There's a war always going on, first of all. I know, that's a little vague. No, I'm not like that's okay. Sorry, I made it feel like, there's war, there's always war.

Like, what's the big deal? Get over it. Um, that's not how I meant it. Anyway. I am so tired of companies and businesses using COVID and now war to take advantage of people. Groupon has now joined the bandwagon. Everyone else is robbing people, why shouldn't we? Eventually,

people will wake up. They will not tolerate the lack of service and quality. I made a purchase via Groupon. I realized they had my old address. No worries, because there is a time window to edit or cancel. At least that was the option I was given, so I updated my address immediately. Company still sent to wrong address. Their response was, oh well, nothing we can do. In my opinion, the company Expert Deals robbed me. They say talk to Groupon. Groupon says talk to the seller. LOL, it's a joke, they both passed the buck. Not getting what I paid for means nothing as long as these greedy pigs make their money. Done with Groupon, and as for the little company expert deals, you will fall. You are not big enough to

be pigs and you will never get there. End of review. Get to the to be a pig? You'll never get to the level of pigs. I have, no idea. You are less than a pig. I don't know. I just like, I don't know. And you'll never get as if that's their goal. Like your goal is pig. Yeah, you will never get to the level of Groupon

and their greediness. And as you read it, I'm like, I realized how they're like, companies using COVID and now war? I'm like, now war? Like shouldn't it be using war and now COVID, if anything, because COVID was the novel thing around that, whatever time this review was written, that was more novel than the concept of using war.

Yeah, that feels like it could be the umbrella. I mean, but also I'm like, what does any war have to do with this? They sent it to the wrong address. I'm only talking about that part because the rest got so muddled. I have no idea what to talk about. What the fuck just happened? So I looked up expert deals and it seems like On Groupon specifically, they sell skincare and hair care products.

That's what this was about? Yeah. So they must have ordered a product, like a fucking moisturizer or a hairspray. They went to the wrong building because they put the wrong address in, and I guess the company didn't update it on time. And now, now because of that instance, suddenly the tables have turned to a drastic degree and Groupon is like a demonic entity and greedy pigs. I mean, it just feels so extreme because- Yeah, it does.

Like you just didn't get, like before, where you just like Groupon's one of the good guys and they're not a corporation making money off people. I mean, it's just a weird shift. Like you don't get your hairspray suddenly now, you're anti-capitalist. It's like, what? So if your heat protectant spray

had made it to the correct address, would you like be still on the total bandwagon of like, you're right, there is a war and we should keep douging people. It's just so odd to me. Now that it affects me and my hair care. Now that my split ends are getting zero protection and gloss, you know, this place has to go down. I'm joining the ranks, the socialist ranks.

Anyway. Oh boy. Well, my next one is from Brad, who, by the way, I think is the one who suggested both of this top theme and the next theme, and it was the most liked on Patreon. Brad almost ran the tail. And also, and I was going to use this theme before, or your challenge for next week, before I realized that Brad had done these other three these other two themes That's from the same Brad your challenge next week Brad like really just I don't know We're taking over taking over and unfortunately, I'm I'm helping him out because I've got a

Review from Brad and by a review. I mean I have two so here's one from I Oh my. I know, I know. This is of zombie scavengers, which I don't know. It's like a scavenger hunt. And the picture is of this sort of zombie looking lady. Not really. So is it like an escape room type thing? No, it's like an experience where you have to go downtown or something like in public.

Oh, okay, okay. And so this is like a ticket you buy on Groupon or something. OK, so let me I'll read I'll read. I found the site for it. So basically. The team, your team completes challenges and scavenges the city in search of supplies that will allow them to survive a zombie apocalypse. So use your smartphone, you answer trivia questions.

And yeah, there's some more info in the review, but I mainly bring this for the owner response. Okay, so here we go. This is a one star review of zombie scavengers. This is so lame. I don't know how it is considered a scavenger hunt. Complete waste of money. It had us drive to a downtown square to start. Then the hunt consists of super easy questions like, this holds water. Uh, I don't know, a water bottle? Then you're supposed to take a picture of a water bottle. Or maybe the question

is, you can get an egg roll here and you're supposed to take a picture of a Chinese restaurant. Has nothing to do with the local area. You just answer questions suited to a three-year-old and take pics of everyday objects. We would have had more fun doing it at home, but instead we sat through 30 minutes of traffic to pointlessly go downtown to do this. End of review, okay. Okay, I'm intrigued about the response.

Zombie scavengers. I'm so sorry you were only able to find 24 of the nearly 100 items. Must have been harder than you expected. They're like, you never found that egg roll and we know it. Nice try. Thank you for the feedback. We will learn from it and work on making it better

for future players. End of response. That was beautiful. That's so funny. Honestly though, finding a hundred items in that, like, if they're all similar to that, this does not sound fun. I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to lie.

I wasn't going to say anything, but It has a 3.9 out of five. So people, there are people, plenty of people who had a great time. But yeah, I'd be curious. Like I didn't read any of the five star, but I'm curious if like it's this person just really just only took the worst parts of it

in their review. But it feels like geocaching, but like geocaching is free. So I don't know. I once hosted a, it was like for incoming international students at AU, at American. I volunteered like during welcome week to lead one group in a scavenger hunt.

And I think there were 15 groups and I had, oh my gosh, it was wild. I had, I think 12. Like on campus, like throughout campus? No, it was throughout DC. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it was throughout DCE. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it was. That sounds even more fun.

That sounds really fun. It was. And I got, I think like eight to 12 students and they mixed everybody up so that, to make sure like it was as diverse of a group as possible. So I had like a girl from France. I had a man from Afghanistan. I had a young woman from, I don't even remember anymore, but just like a wild array of countries and languages.

And then the scavenger hunt was meant to lead you to like local DC places that would be of interest to like new students and stuff. Which of all cities to do in, I feel like that's, that is a great place. I mean, I feel like there's so much there. Like I wish I had that when I started. Yeah.

Yeah. In DC because I was learning so much as the leader of this scavenger hunt and, um, Alexander, we won first place. Oh, hell yeah. Because we had to take photos. And so I was like, let's get really creative. So like with the photos of like a certain monument or we had to find, uh, that I forget what bookstore, but some famous, maybe busboys and poets or something, we had to find.

Is that famous? Like a, what? I forgot, did you know about that? I didn't know about that until very, like a few years ago. Oh no, I've known about busboys and poets for a long time. That was a cool place. I used to go in college.

I didn't get out much. Yeah, I know, me neither. But I heard it was really cool. I thought maybe someday I'll get invited there. Sorry, I was trying to reference Michael Scott. Didn't quite work. So yeah, we won and then they gave us of all things, which I still kind of hold a grudge about because back then I did not have my anxiety under control whatsoever and I pretty much made myself sick over it because I was so nervous and stressed out, but they gave us as a prize, a like $200 gift certificate to a local restaurant, but it was

an Ethiopian restaurant, which to be fair is like my favorite cuisine ever, one of my top three at least, but I had these 12 students who, most of them had not eaten Ethiopian food. Like I had barely eaten Ethiopian food. It's very hands-on and communal. Yeah. Um, a lot of these kids, I say kids, I mean,

they were like college freshmen, uh, were new to English, so like ordering for 12 people and then having this gift card and then having to figure out like how much everybody owed for this communal meal. It was honestly one of the most like overwhelming experiences. We made it work, but it was still quite a day. But anyway, I just- John, that does sound very stressful.

Of all things- I love how when we have stories like this, it's always like, oh, but here's the part that affected me the most. And it's- Exactly. It's like, I won first prize, but that's not the end of the story because my prize sucked. No, no.

Don't worry. I had a terrible time. It was really fun. And like, yeah, we ended up becoming friends and I liked them all so much. We had a really good time. That's fine. I didn't know that. No hate to the experience, but I just remember being like,

AU you were so close to making this perfect event. And then now I have to figure out how to get 12, like 18 year olds who speak different languages to like all order Ethiopian. And I was like 20. It wasn't that much older. And like, thank God I had eaten Ethiopian. Cause if I showed up and looked at the menu,

I'd have been like, I don't know what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, this is so irrelevant. I still remember my first time getting Ethiopian because I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. And I just had someone. You're like, eat with your hands. Someone ordered it for me. And now I'm like, I that's yeah. Any time. It's a lot.

I can get, I can. Oh, it's so good, though. It's the best. But it's definitely not like necessarily for a group of 12 who've never met each other before and now have to share food with their hands. That reminds me either. I don't have a stressful part of this. Oh, well, I was really lonely and depressed during it. But, um, when I, when I was at university, I should just, that should be like the caveat on like all stories. I tell, I think it is for you. I just want to make sure everyone else knew that.

Oh, okay, good. Okay. Yeah. But when I was at University of Redlands, one of my professors had us do a scavenger hunt at Huntington Gardens in Pasadena. Oh, beautiful. And it was kind of stressful

because like you have to find your way there. Thankfully I had a car. I had no friends. So I went alone and then I saw people there and was like too shy to say anything. My classmates and stuff. But anyway, we went and like you got a sheet and you had to go through and find all these different things in the different museums and the botanical gardens.

That sounds cool. It was one of the best experiences ever. And it was paid for, I believe, by the like they the entry fee. And it ended up becoming one of my favorite places to go when I lived in L.A. because I was like, oh, it's just so nice to go and walk around there. He always would like print out a piece of paper with all these things on it to go fun.

He would make his own little scavenger hunt. Yeah, and no one, and I'd say, come on everyone, I printed enough for everyone. And they said, no, you can leave that in the printer tray for the B&Bs. We said, who are you talking to? You don't have friends, remember? And then you would go alone.

Yeah. Anyway, your turn. Sorry, I made it sadder and weirder. Okay. This is one more from Georgia. Um, one star, and this is of Groupon again, uh, of just like, you know, the company on Trustpilot, one star by let's say Marie.

The title is A conniving company that shall reap what it sows. So just a little casual note for those greedy pigs. This company. I think it's pronounced sow. I'm like scanning the page. Like what could you possibly be talking about? Right.

I feel like it was a little late to that one, but it was a little late. I caught the tail end. I think I made it sound like there was a lot of like audio delay there. No, that was just me like coming up with that and being like, Oh, let me insert it at the wrong time. And then the following lag was me just frantically scanning the page, trying to understand, like to literally, a brain lag trying to catch on to what was happening.

Everyone else is like, nobody else caught on. It's okay. Don't worry about it. It's fine. You had to be there. Okay. Um, let's go one star. This company will go bankrupt for its evil

conniving ways of operating. This company is in debt as they owe me compensation, which they are in denial. Of course, that is what voucher is good for. I forgot to mention this is called voucher. It is a, it is my one that is not of Groupon. I'm sorry. It's voucher, which is a UK equivalent to Groupon. I apologize. Oh, I thought they were misspelling voucher. No, it does sound like they're pronouncing it as our German parents might. Is it W-O-W?

Yeah. This might be a stupid question, but is wow a common phrase in the UK? Like, is that, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's some American, like, exclamations that aren't also. Right. So I guess it is. Okay, so I mean? Like, I feel like there's some American like exclamations that aren't also. So I guess it is.

Okay, so I just looked up, do people in the UK say wow? And business insider says, to say wow, you may say blimey. Yes, see, when I hear blimey, I think that is not a US thing for sure. I think that means wow in the UK, you know, instead of wow. Core blimey, I think that is not a US thing, for sure. I think that means wow in the UK, you know, instead of wow. Cor blimey, right? Cor blimey, I don't know what that means, but yeah.

So here, there are people are saying how to say wow, like what's the British equivalent? So maybe it's just one of those words that like felt like it's not used that often, but it, like people obviously still know what it. Like maybe it's seen as an American thing more than anything, but like do people still use it in the UK?

It's like a, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's like primary. Yeah. We'll be corrected in the email soon. Yeah, we'll be corrected. Don't worry. So I apologize that I didn't clarify that, but this is for Woucher, a Groupon competitor in the UK.

Um, so anyway, this company is in debt as they owe me compensation which they are in denial. Of course that is what Woucher is good for. Awful, terrible, unreliable company. Woucher group don't like to take accountability when they wrongly assume or act dumb about a spin-to-win offer pop-up on their poxy website. And they add credit on my account, which are now expired, as they did not notify me when the credits were applied. I already emailed Woucher so many times, yet not helpful, and keep bleeping on about informing

when I already provided information regarding my complaint. Company is run by clowns. Man, you've got some real like heat, you know, like, this is Georgia. Georgia found all this shit. And I was like reading the email going, oh my God, where are you getting this? But it's not trust pilot.

It's not totally, it's never clear to me what. Yeah, that's part of the problem. It sounds like they did a spin to win offer. Like a pop-up showed up. A pop-up where you click it, it spins. It's not really a wheel, folks. I mean, I know you all know that, but I'm talking to these reviewers.

It just will land on whatever it's already predetermined to land on. I learned that the hard way with Neopets because I would read the URL to find out what the prize was. It said in the URL? Yeah, you could, well, I think it was in the detail. You could use, you could read the URL to find out what the prize was. It said in the URL? Yeah, you could. Well, I think it was in the detail.

You could use. You can like inspect the site or something. Yeah, inspect the page. Yeah, you could inspect the page and you could like dig through and find out the prize. Anyway, which omelet you were getting that day. Anyway, so anyway, they got this, some sort of reward or voucher,

a credit and then it expired. And now that's kind of why, oh, well, the wildest part is that they, I can't believe voucher. No wonder we haven't heard of it. They went into debt. They went bankrupt. Cause they owe this person. Just from this.

They were at, they were like teetering. They were teetering. They were teetering. This is their first customer. This is what did it. That's what it was. Just failed right off the bat. Yeah. They immediately owed them $15, 15. Immediately in debt. Pounds. Just like that. And immediately went into debt. So. Wait, that's how much it was? 15 pounds? I have no idea. no, you just made that up. Okay. No, I just made that. I was like, did, oh, did you say that? Okay. 15,000 pounds.

I was going to say 15 pounds sounds like exactly what this review is complaining about. Yeah. For credits. I would assume it's no more than that. So, yeah. Um, for a company run by clowns, you know? 15 pounds might be enough to send them. That's a sore subject for those people, careful.

It is, yeah. Wow. Woucher. Woucher. Okay, my next one is also from Brad. This is of an amazing experience. This is of the Canvas Prints Photography Session Deals by JCPenney Portortraits by Lifetime.

Alexander, that's what mine are all next to! Really? Okay, that's hilarious. JCPenneyPortraits. Okay, so hopefully you don't have this one. I hope not. It's the only one I have and I didn't read any other ones, so we might share one, but hey, that might be a good thing, you know, whittle down your total reviews. I have so many, please take some. It's already been like an hour. That might be a good thing, you know, whittle down your reviews. It's already been like an hour. We haven't gotten my challenge yet. So here's a one star review of this was sent in by Brad of the JCPenney portraits. It was my first time taking pictures with my dogs, tried to call in advance

to know if I should walk them or not or feed them or not. No matter how long I waited, they didn't answer. Then I asked the photographer what I should do that would help the picture process. And he said, I don't know, I don't own dogs. And continued throughout corrections to call my dog the wrong name. End of review. I did have that one.

Thank God. This was the first one I was gonna read. This was so good. Rhiannon also sent it in. I don't know if anyone else did, but I lost it when I read this. It was so good. Rhiannon also sent it in. I don't know if anyone else did, but I lost it when I read this. It was so funny. I was like, how?

I adore this probably 20 year old photographer who's just doing this as like a summer job. I'm like, why? It was like a JCPenney, like, I don't know. Why would- Do they have guidelines for how you should treat? I don't know. Like it's your dog. Like, I feel like you should know how your dog would behave in a situation like this. I don't know why would they have guidelines for how you should treat, I don't know. Like it's your dog.

Like I feel like you should know how your dog would behave in a situation like this. I don't know. And I think when it says corrections to calm, I think it meant directions. Like I think they meant to write directions, which is so funny to me because that basically is saying that this guy, Trevor, whoever this photographer is,

is like, okay, now call Rufus over. I like that, that was when he pulled that out. Call Rufus over and it's like, her, now call Rufus over. And it's like, her name is princess. Like, tell Rufus to get over here. Like maybe he just has a collective name for any dog that comes in. Yeah.

Trevor's a cat person. That's it. That's what it is. He made that very clear when he applied. And yet JC Penny still put him in the pet, the dog photography section. I actually, interestingly have a review right after that one that is similar. It's also from Rhiannon, she, her, and here it is. It's a

one-star review by Lacey. I didn't like the portraits at all. It looks like we took them at home and the photographer was very rude comparing my daughter to her dog. Very weird and unprofessional end of review. So I don't know what's going on. I feel like the only acceptable way that's acceptable if it's like, oh, my dog has the same name as your daughter, which even then, I don't think you should say no, that's not a good thing. But like, the

dog no no comparing the daughter to her own dog, I think is what they mean. Oh, comparing. Oh, I didn't read it your way comparing my daughter to her dog. I was thinking this was another one where they brought the dog to it. But so you're saying it was the daughter's dog? Like yeah, like you and your dog look alike or something. I don't know. I don't know.

I thought it meant like she bought her dog and then the photographer kept comparing her to her dog. But I don't know. In my mind, the photographer was like, oh, my dog has the same name as your daughter. Your breath smells just like my dog's. It's the weirdest thing. I keep thinking she's right here and then I turn around and it's you. Isn't that funny? Have you been chewing on some greenies over there? If not, you should be because, uh, wow. My dog eats cat turds. So, okay. I have one more.

Okay, great. It's a long one. Ooh, okay. And these, a lot of mine are long because my challenge, I got a couple things. It was really difficult though. But here we go. I'm going to read this long review. There's also an article attached to it. So buckle up.

This is what I said, I can't wait. Oh, this is of this was actually sent in to us by Claire in January of 2020. So I just searched Groupon in our email and found this review from back then. And this is, like I mentioned earlier, this is, I believe, a review of Groupon UK specifically, but they do outline their experience with the Dairsbury Park Hotel in Warrington in the UK. So here we go. One Star Review. This was written by Pamela.

We arrived to be greeted by eight police cars and two CSI vans parked outside. Thinking there was a police conference, we went into the foyer where six plainclothes police appeared to be having a meeting. We checked in with no comments from reception. Proceeding to our room along a lengthy glass corridor, we noticed blood all along the walkway. Leaving our cases in the

room, we went back to reception to inquire what time dinner was. Previous visits we had been asked at check-in for our preferred time for dinner. We were then informed the hotel was currently under crime scene investigation as there had been a wedding. You had to be informed. I like that they're like, we still hadn't quite figured out what was going on. They're like, oh. There's blood everywhere.

They're doing like a conference and they have a little like game set up where they have to solve the crime. Oh my God, it's like the scavenger hunt. Yeah, it's like your own scavenger hunt out there. That is insane. Keep, you gotta keep the police, gotta get them, you know, keep their minds fresh. You know, work hard, play hard.

That's what they say at the police office. So true. Okay, except for the work hard. You know what I'm saying? Alexander? What? This is the UK we're discussing. Okay.

And those police need some time to play games, to really get to know each other. I don't know what you're saying. Some icebreakers. I don't either. I'm going to just say I don't agree with that. I'm just saying words that really mean nothing and I apologize. Go ahead. We were then informed the hotel is currently under crime scene investigation as there had

been a wedding the night before and the dining room, conference rooms, bar and all rooms around the public areas including the rooms along the annex were destroyed. Everything had been smashed and staff had to lock themselves in the cellar for their own protection. Oh my god! The guests had then cleared the contents of the bar, etc. They had smashed their way through doors and all glass windows and had barricaded themselves in the wedding suite by turning up the tables with the contents of the wedding meal on it. This included broken glass, crockery, and bottles. Only one lift was working. There was a lift I'm like, I know, okay, I literally was going to Google it and then I was like, wait, Zandy sent us an article. Claire included an article in the email. Only one lift was working.

There was broken glass absolutely everywhere. Staff, including the chef, were desperately trying to hoover the carpets as the glass was everywhere. We asked if we could walk through the bar area much later as we had parked the car by the back door. The policeman in charge thankfully allowed us to do this as my friend is disabled and we were astounded by the destruction we saw. The whole area was smashed to bits, fire extinguishers everywhere, and broken furniture and glass

crunching under our feet as we walked through. Therefore there was no bar available all day until the evening. That evening we went into the area that had been cleaned. We were informed that there were no restaurant meals, only bar menu. We did not get our free bottle of wine as we had not been given a voucher. We then checked into the- And every bottle in the wine cellar had been shattered

and the chef had been murdered. Like I'd said- Honestly, like, yeah, there probably wasn't a single unbroken bottle of wine in that building. I'm surprised that there even is a bar menu, to be quite honest. So true. It sounds, I imagine, I hope that's just like deep frying some tater tots because it seems like the chef needs a break, you know?

We then went into the small lounge at the side to chat. This room had not been cleared and had no notice on the door to inform us that it was out of order. So we moved napkins, et etc. to sit on the sofa. The toilets that several customers came in to use had all been blocked according to guest comments. They were absolutely disgusting. Every toilet had been blocked up. As I had not seen my friend for two years as she lives in Kent, this had been a present

for her 70th birthday and I had planned the weekend as a surprise. No, a surprise! Well, okay, well to be fair, you nailed that part. Yeah, that's true. You nailed it. It's unique, unforgettable, and quite a, I mean, 70 is a big year. So you really, you really hit it home.

That's the CSI birthday, right? Yeah, that's the blood. That's a blood spatter year. Yeah. I had planned the weekend as a surprise with dinner, bed, breakfast included of wine and a spa day with massage and afternoon tea for the following day. I was extremely embarrassed. Had we been informed at check-in, we would not have stayed that weekend. Staff informed us that there had been a huge fight with guests and laterally with the police, as most of the Cheshire police were

attending. Warrington Hospital had been placed on critical incident and many guests eventually arrested. We received no apology from staff and as a hotel general manager for over 15 years, I was appalled that no management were on hand to apologize to guests. I have stayed at this hotel on four previous occasions. I am disgusted that we were not informed over the situation before check-in. Clearly the hotel were not concerned

of the inconvenience to guests and the only concern was money. End of review. And I'm gonna be honest, I'd be kind of pissed if I showed up because this much of a mess and I'd be like, huh? You didn't tell us? I mean, I'm just shocked that they didn't tell them.

I would be like, you guys will never believe what happened last night, you know? And like, it's a shitty situation. Like it's terrible. Like obviously the hotel's not at fault for what happened. And I'm assuming that the hotel also got, the staff got instructions not to tell people is what it sounds like.

No, potentially. I don't think they're just like lying on purpose. They're probably, they're just like lying on purpose. They're probably, they're kind of in a weird spot, but like, holy shit, Alex. Read me this damn article now. So this article from the Warrington Guardian was posted on June 20, 2019 by Adam Everett,

who the title is 12 arrested at Dairsbury Park Hotel after wedding brawl. 12. 12. 12 people. There was a fight that erupted between around 50 guests at a wedding. So apparently around- It sounds like Rome, like is this Shakespeare?

Like the, okay, just go ahead. I'm sorry. Around 11.30 PM that night, dozens of officers were called to the scene with eyewitnesses reporting seeing around 30 police cars. A total of 12 people aged between 18 and 52 were arrested on suspicion of a fray and remain in police custody. Warrington Hospital declared a major incident following the incident with senior management called in during the night to assist. So even like the hospital staff was on like high alert

and they had to like come get called in to deal with people coming to the hospital. Thankfully only three patients were taken to the hospital with minor injuries. So it didn't seem anything too physically serious. But yeah, and so then the police were there literally all night until the morning. And yeah, no reports of serious injuries.

One hotel guest said, it was all kicking off. There were police everywhere. It was really bad. I could see it all happening out of my window. It was really fun. I mean, bad. Yeah. And then it says, there's blood all over the floor

in the corridor. Oh, I heard all about it. Yeah. And... Wow. I've never heard anything like it. I mean, I imagine that must be so like, no wonder. I feel like my brain would probably also be like, maybe they're

having a weird conference. Like, cause if they didn't tell you at check and you'd be like, I guess this is normal. Yeah. Yeah. It's supposed to look like this. Like, especially, and they said plain clothes, police office office like they saw cars, but they didn't they saw Police yeah, I mean I can't blame them. I'd probably think the same fucking thing. Yeah, and if you're curious about a fray I had never heard of that as the legal thing. It says that they were arrested on suspicion of a fray

How to save a life, yeah, yeah, that's right Yeah Yeah, the fray. It's a how to save a life. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It's a public order offense consisting of the fighting of one or more persons in a public place to the terror of ordinary people. So that's wow. Yeah. So wow.

Wow. Sure. It's like below right like a riot as like step up, I think. But a fray is like a brawl. Like, you know, yeah, I've heard that a fray is like a brawl. You know, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I've heard that, I know that word. I had never heard that as a legal thing.

Some of us know about that word. Yeah, fighting in a public place. Because of true crime, but that's about it. That would make sense. Yeah. That would make sense. Unfortunately, I don't cover many frays. Otherwise, my life would be a lot less dark and depressing.

A phrase? AFFRAY. Oh, it's an a-fray? Yes. It's not- I stay incorrect. I thought it was a-fray. It's an a-fray. A-f-f-r-a-y. Yeah. Understood. So it's like a legal thing.

Just kidding. That's new to me. I was like, oh, you know to me. Take it all back. It's in many legal jurisdictions relating to English common law. So you'll find it in England and Wales, Northern Ireland, Australia, India, New Zealand, South Africa. And it does mention the US, but. Seems probably probably much like, wow, wow. It's regionalized maybe a little more. That's like the US.

We're like, oh yeah, we use a phrase. We're trying to be British. Yeah. You know, like what does all those jokes about people coming back from studying abroad and they're just like, oh, this accent, I can't help it. I don't even notice it. I saw one. It was a guy, I don't know which country, but studied abroad in the US and went back,

I wanna say like a Scandinavian country or like central European. And he was wearing like Carhartt like jacket and like, it was just so funny. And it was like really cute. Like they're like, oh, he was just there for a few months and he's like decked out. He goes to Minnesota for one month.

Like literally, I looked at it and I was like, oh, that's an American. And one like literally I looked at and I was like oh that's an American and then like I'm like oh my god no that is not an American like fully convinced me it was really funny this is a one-star view by Denise of these are all from Rihanna and she her and they are groupons of JC Penny photos. Hell yeah. Mm hmm. That's all the rest of mine. So Denise says one star.

Photographer deleted my picture because my BF told him to some with me smiling with my teeth showing. He deleted all the ones without my teeth showing, without asking me first. Then he chose the collages for us without asking our opinion. I took my Valentine's photo with another JCPenney. I should have chosen that location instead of this one. I had a way better experience that time. End of review. So I can't tell if this is this photographer going rogue or is this photographer listening to the friend or both? It's the boyfriend.

Oh, my boyfriend. Which makes it worse. I think like my boyfriend told him to get some, I assume, get some with me smiling with my teeth showing, which is very weird and kind of patronizing. Yeah. Why would you have to tell the photographer and why is it your whatever? And then the photographer deleted all of them unless her teeth were showing, which is like something.

It's just very- What? That's bizarre. And then can you imagine the collage is just all her with her teeth showing? Like the exact same face. He just, it's just like slight, very like slight tilts. It's so weird. So weird, what?

It's so weird. I'm just gonna keep going, cause there are so many. Okay. This is one star by Helen. The photographer was very rude and snappy. We felt rushed and when asked that I wanted another picture of just me with my child,

she got bothered and told me that she already took a picture of me. She grabbed her camera and told me, isn't that you in the picture? She also told me, quote, be careful with that gum in your mouth, Missy. When I told her I didn't have any gum, she said, open your mouth, let me see. End of review. Sorry. This is like a frustrated parent. Open your mouth. That's not the vibe I want for my photographer. That's me with Gio. That would make me so uncomfortable.

Open your mouth, what's in there? It's like nothing. This is just how I look. That's one of those things that I thought I'd like had never had to deal with again after school photos. And then now like having to get headshots and going to someone like a photographer's home, which is how you just like smile.

And like, until I was like, this is weird. Like, but, but, you know, what I realize is the people who are good at it. We'll make you comfortable. And that's exactly what happened. Like she was just like super kind and like said these things was like these subtle things I should change and it completely changed the photo and I'm like, how the fuck do you know that? You know me better than I do like my yeah when they're like just trust me stick your head out as far as you go It felt ridiculous. I was like there's no way this looks good

And I'm like, how does that do, how magic, it's magic. It's magic. It's magic. So you know what? I think probably those turn out to be the most beautiful portraits. Also I love like, can I get one with my daughter? I already have a picture of you.

Is this you or is this not you? Is this you? Sorry, is this not you? Did I get confused? This seems so, yikes. I would hate that. Be a little biatch today. I get confused? That seems so, yikes. I would hate that. Be a little biatch today. I would hate that.

Be careful, Missy. If somebody called me Missy, I would be like, huh? I'm out, I'm out. Here's a one star review. Well, that would be weird if they called me Missy. It would be. I would just laugh, I don't know. Don't do it though.

I would just stick my head out four inches and be like, is this better? This is a one star view by Asher. My wife's zipper was down and no one spotted it. End of review. That's why I kept so many. They're just like, short and stupid. Okay.

This is a one star view by Thea. I went in with low expectations. I didn't expect great photography, but I expected enough to be able to get a good picture for Christmas cards. At least one. Not only did I not get a good picture, but the photographers were rude. So much so that my child ended up having a nightmare about one of the photographers that night. Oh no. I know. They were easily frustrated with children and we were there for three hours end of review. Yeah, I felt sad about that. They were easily frustrated with children and we were there for three hours, end of review.

Yeah, I felt sad about that. Three hours? They had a nightmare about one of them, about Trevor. Oh. Three hours? Hello? Three, three hours and they didn't like any of the photos and then they all had nightmares. Well, one of them had nightmares.

So far. Yeah, so far. Not including me. Okay, one star by guest. One star by Guest. poses. She didn't even check to see if I blinked in the photos and as a result I was blinking in 70% of the photos which she responded that's just how your eyes look. I love that like the 30% where her eyes are open she's like that's not how your eyes look. Yeah. The ones where they're closed is how your eyes look. Oh my God. I love, I don't wanna be, I'm not comfortable laying on the ground. Lay on the fucking ground.

Like, jeez. In your dress or your gown. Oh my God, okay. I have two more. One Star by Katie. We had a horrible photographer. I am extremely dissatisfied. We've done family photos at JCPenney many times and never have had an experience like this.

The photographer presented us with photos at the end where my preschooler's mouth was hanging open and his hand was up the bottom of my shirt. These are things he should have noticed and should have asked to retake the photo. End of review. I just want to say too that when Rhiannon sent these in, she put like a little guide at the top with like emojis to indicate each review and this one was called, Mom mad at photographer for her son's wandering hand. Jesus. Okay, Rhiannon, calm down.

Yikes. Yikes. Okay. This is my last one, one star. Photographer was weird. Very strange and smaller, like a petting zoo. Photos didn't come out as great as they have in the past. Great deal though.

What? Kind of review. Great deal though. What? I think so. There's no way you have an explanation for this petting zoo comment. I think I do actually. Rhiannon made a point that it might have meant smelled like a petting zoo because there were also several comments about like different smells of different people in there. So this photographer isn't smaller, this photographer is smelly? Yeah, instead of smaller like a petting zoo, I think they must smelled like a petting zoo. Okay, oh, what? Because the way it sounded, I thought they were saying the photographer is smaller. Because the way it sounded, I thought they were saying the photographer is smaller. Yeah, yes. Photographer was weird, very strange and smelled like a petting zoo.

I think they meant. The photographer. Oh, they meant the photographer smelled icy. OK, yes. OK. Wow. That you know what? That's an explanation. But I was like, I know. I know it didn't sound like it was even possible, but who's wandering hand is going to be petting the photographer. I love that though, where you're like, shit, like, do I send this out?

Is this like really noticeable that my son's arm is like up my skirt? Like, do people care or feel going to comment? I mean, it's Photoshop. Oh, and apparently one of the reviews that I didn't even keep, but they said the photographer at the end recommended a Facebook group where you can get your photos Photoshopped. And I was like, wait, that's a red flag. If the photographer is like, here's where you can get it fixed. Anyway.

Here are some AI sites where you can just plug it in and it fixes it. Yeah. Why are you even here? Just tell AI to make your Christmas card. Leave me out of it. Anyway, that's all I've got for you, Xandie. Okay, okay, that was good. My review, my challenge time, this was sent in by Gregory. Find reviews where the reviewer complains the product wasn't accurately depicted in a film or TV show. So this one, this is Star. So Gregory sent in two things. This first one I'm going to read. This is just a funny, this is not an actual review, but I don't worry.

There is a review for the purists out there who need reviews. This is an article that Gregory sent in. It's about a Simpsons episode and it's on crack.com and it says the throwaway Simpsons line that has ruined little women for a generation. And Twitter users admit that Moe, the bartender in the Simpsons, accidentally made them think that Louisa May Alcott, the writer of Little Women, was a hack because this is what, so there's a scene where he's reading Little Women and he reads where Moe is and he reads the last line aloud and then starts to cry and closes the book and starts to cry.

Okay. And this is the line that he says aloud. And then they realized they were no longer little girls, they were little women. To be clear, that is not the last line of the book, Little Women. But people on Twitter were like, oh shit, I had just seen that episode, and I assume that was the last line of the book. I mean, I would have believed that if, like if I just saw that in passing and hadn't read the book,

I'd be like, oh, that's probably the last line. But why did they think she was a hack just because it's a stupid line? Yeah, yeah. It's such a stupid line to end your book on. Like, oh, little women ends with now they are little women. Yeah, it does sound like the most inane, like, okay. Yeah, it does sound like a stupid ending. So, okay, I get it.

Yeah. So, and the person who actually posts on Twitter, Kevin Mullet, it says, that's one of the best Simpsons jokes of all time because I and a number of other people are so illiterate that they think the joke is just Mo crying and that's how little women end. So they thought, oh, him being emotional over the book

is the joke, but the joke is that's how Little Women end. So they thought, Oh, him being emotional over the book is the joke, but the joke is, that's not the last line. Yeah. Which, which honestly is very funny because I can just see the writers and the writer be like, we're not actually putting the last side of the book. We all know that, right? Like we're making up a line. Hilarious made up line for it. And the fact that it like stuck. Wow. That's kind of hilarious. And apparently a lot of people didn't realize.

And honestly, if I had watched The Simpsons, I might've thought the same thing because I've never read Little Women. Wow, that's kind of hilarious. And apparently a lot of people didn't realize. And honestly, if I had watched The Simpsons, I might've thought the same thing because I've never read Little Women. Well, you did watch this. Oh, you mean just like if you had seen this episode? Yeah, I had never like watched it regularly. I guess we didn't watch it like regularly.

No, I have not. That's true. But here is now a review that Gregory sent in. This is, and I think this might've inspired the challenge or something, I don't know. But this is a review of Farmers and Fishermen, Two Centuries of Work in Essex County, Massachusetts, 1630 to 1850. And you might be wondering what the hell? Why is this book on here? Is this an immersive exhibit?

This is the book that is quoted in Goodwill Hunting. Oh! That Will Hunting quotes from, and it's a specific page, but let me read this three-star review titled, Miss Quote? Okay. And it's a verified purchase. There's no reference to Gordon Wood

or any wood on page 98 of this book. In fact, no mention of Gordon Wood at all. Why does Will Hunting give a quote of a passage not in the book he identifies as having the passage? End of review. So this person- That is odd. Yeah, it is kind of odd. You'd think that like, like, is that part of the thing?

I mean, they're not beholden to like keeping everything like it's a movie. Like set in reality. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah. But like also it is an odd thing to do, I think. Yeah. Like why would you make up a line? What was their thinking to not include an actual thing? I like her an actual book. Maybe they just couldn't find one that fit that made sense. So they made one up. They're like, let's write one about Gordon. So yeah, Gordon in there. Yeah. So maybe they had the line about Gordon and then

they looked for a book that they couldn't find it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, that's very, that's very random and odd. Wait, what was the review? Three stars, three stars. That's very funny because they're like, listen, this book didn't meet my expectations, but it's not really the book's fault. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's very funny. That's what was so funny. I'm like, oh, they probably bought it because of the movie. And we're like, wait a minute. Yeah. That's silly. Okay, here we go. Then it's my turn. I only have a couple things. Because this was insane. I don't know why I struggled so much. But it doesn't matter. I was trying to find QVC stuff, especially because I

thought that made sense. And I don't know threatened. But it's okay. But I found something from the QVC forums. Okay great. So here we go. Colors are different than what I see online and TV. I ordered H229867 pumpkins in orange and they are definitely brown. Valerie had said they were a rust color. No they are brown.

I checked my phone. So is rust. TV, yeah, true. Wait a second. I mean, just to be like, if we're getting into semantics. Orange, rust is orange-brown. If there's no tints of orange, I can't call it rust.

Yeah, but brown is red. Oh, okay, yeah, I guess. Now we're getting into semantics. It's a pumpkin, okay. You're right, you're right. I checked my phone, TV, and computer, and they all look a rusty orange to me. Mine look brown.

Other than not really liking the color, I'm going to keep them and mix them in with some bright orange picks. They are pretty and the paint job is nice and not sloppy like some of Valerie's things are lately. Anyone else get something that doesn't seem to be the color you expected? And I had to include it. Anyone else want to gang up on Val? And Val Pels want to gang up?

This was nine years ago, 2015. Um, but yeah, so, and then there's a whole thread of people, like, uh, just complaining. Let me see. I think I had one. No. Yeah, believe it or not. Uh, believe it or not.

Alexander, did anybody, uh, gang up with her alongside her? What? No, I don't think, you know, I don't think, I don't think anyone was really like saying anything bad about Valerie in these like forums. Like after that, I think everyone, no one was really defending Valerie either. But yeah, it was just kind of like, some people were like, yeah, sometimes it looks a different color. Um, I think they're just kind of trying to like, excuse it and be like, yeah, you know what, I'm still going to spend, I've spent all this money.

I'm just going to try to enjoy it. Yeah. We're just, we're just trying to convince ourselves that this was worth our money. So yeah. And the person even later said they are very pretty, but I would have liked them better if they were orange, you know, like, so they were like, look, I, I wanted these. I liked the look. That's the most QVC energy ever, which is like, well, it came broken,

but good thing I have a hot glue gun just for these types of situations. And it's like, well, okay. I guess if you're happy, like that's the expectation they set for their customers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For some of their customers. I'm like, oh, come on. Like they shouldn't have to do that. Have to buy a hot glue gun. But OK, whatever.

But I will read this one, this this reply. OK, I don't have a specific example, but I have noticed things on QVC sets compared to those same items shown in vendors homes via Skype are drastically different in color sometimes. The onset items are so much brighter and lighter and can look unrealistic in my opinion. So I think it's just like the studio lighting and the way they have like it's not that they're different products. Like a computer camera or webcam might be different. And like especially someone just in their own home who doesn't have all the studio lighting at their. Well, you know, Valerie has her whole entire, an entire, I guarantee she has an entire studio with a camera crew just on standby at all times.

You know, you're so right. I mean, but that needs to make like a call for her prayer circles. Yeah. You know, like. Also, I lied. this was in 2022. I read the wrong date. So this was fairly recent. Wow, you read very much the wrong date. Yeah, sorry.

And I bet that must've been a thing with like COVID. I bet a lot of the stuff that they were doing was a lot more at home. And so that must've been interesting to see like the products literally in a completely different light. It must have been interesting. More true to how it would look in your own living room. Either QVC or somebody who bought from there.

But yeah, interesting. And to me and us. And to you and me. Okay, now this next one, this is my last one. Okay. I texted you, I texted you that I was on this like fucking in this rabbit hole. Yeah, you did say a rabbit hole, which like usually is not what happens the day of a recording. It's usually either a late night situation, not usually like noon.

And also it's usually me who's compromised and vulnerable enough to fall into one of the holes. But this time it was you. But I was desperate because I had done some of my research last night. I actually got started a couple of days ago even. Like I was on top of it. I was like, this is going well.

I got like, whatever. And I was like finding, figuring out some of my search terms. So I was like, kind of like figuring out what not to search because on Amazon, a lot of the searches pulled up movies or books and it would be like the book different from the movie. So I was like trying to like narrow down my search topics, whatever. And then I found this review.

Go on. And this review references the movie Looper. Have you seen the movie Looper? Yes. At our house in Clifton on a DVD. Really? Okay. Yeah. I think I either rent it was like when I was home from college. Yeah. I mean, it came out 2012. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it would be right when I graduated. And I think I went home and thought, what should I do with myself?

I guess I'll watch Looper on Christmas break. You know, I've seen it a couple of times. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, I believe. I think you probably told me to watch it. Yeah. And I've seen it a couple of times. It's like a fun, interesting, unique like kind of movie. I haven't seen it in some years. But this review references that movie and it's about

that movie and they talk about this product. I for the life of me can't fucking remember this product being in the movie. So I was searching and I watched so many clips from Looper to see if I could get a glimpse because I didn't want to watch the whole movie to get a glimpse of this product and I didn't want to watch the whole movie, to get a glimpse of this product. And I couldn't find it. And I kept, I watched like 10 YouTube, my YouTube right now, my YouTube recommended is all Looper clips because of all the Looper. Like I'm not even kidding.

It's gonna take a week for that algorithm to go back to normal. It's so annoying. And I just had to start watching them in like 1.75 speed and just like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. watching for stuff. It was terrible. They're like, Looper, Looper, Looper. And like, yeah.

And then I found a forum and this forum was talking about like props from the movie. So, and they mentioned this, like they vaguely mentioned the prop in question, but they like all the attached images no longer existed. Like everything for, but specifically for this thing. So they had like things about the guns, about the cars. Oh my God, is it like a Mandela effect?

It's just been wiped from existence? No, I think I just need to watch the whole movie again if I want to see it. I assume it's in there, but I don't remember it. So I'm like hoping someone who's someone watched Looper yesterday is going to be like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It might not even be. Actually, someone who watched Looper yesterday is like, holy shit, I just watched Lo know what the fuck you're talking about. It might not even be actually someone who watched Lepre yesterday is like, holy shit, I just watched yesterday and now you're talking about it.

I hope I hope they remember with this product. Synchronicity. But anyway, here here we go. This is a review of Frog LED keychain with sound. OK, what? OK, so I thought you were going to say the product was like a type of like car battery or something. I did not expect it was like so hyper specific. It's so hyper hyper specific. And it's like, I think a key chain maybe like, I don't know. I so like, um,

it's like where you squeeze it and his mouth lights up. Yes. Exactly. That's what I'm picturing. Exactly. Um, and that's enough. Oh, that was in that scene from Looper. I hate this. Let me read this. Here's a four star review and it's titled The Looper Frog. OK. I bought this because of the movie Looper. It's really cute, but I don't think it works right. I mean, it lights up and makes a noise like it's supposed to.

But when I click it, there's no guy coming up to my room to help assist her out. What's with that? End of review. What? Okay, okay, okay, okay. I never seen that, I don't even remember that scene. Upsener, no wonder. I am now so, so curious.

Yeah. Like I need to know. Somebody out there, please, will you watch it for us? That's why I was so sad that I was like, couldn't find this because I was like desperate and I just, I couldn't, I, I, I watched so many clips. I need to watch the whole movie, I guess. And I Googled, I don't know if I can Google better. Maybe someone's going to find it in like two seconds, but I Googled looper frog looper

frog cheat keychain. If anyone's going to find it, it's you. So I'm. The only things I found were like clips that did not have this frog or that, that forum that like vaguely talked about it and like no pictures showed up. Oh, so but people did talk about it in the form, right? That's why I think that this is real is because I read this forum from years ago and it was

like pictures don't show up. No, but it shows up for other things. But like all the attachments where they're talking about the frog, they're like, oh, or links, they're like, oh, I think it's this one on the left But with some slight modifications link and you click on it and it's like there's nothing there. So weird Yeah, anyway, so that's my somebody figure it out. Please please stuck in a loop. Am I right folks? On 1.75 somebody get us out of here. Get me out of here. Get me out of here Good job, Zandy. I mean you nailed it either way. It was something. Yeah, I had fun

You definitely solved the challenge for better for worse solved something. I'm all right Well, probably not right Okay, well everyone thanks for listening And yeah again, we got some those patreon updates coming May 22nd. So get on that. That'll be fun. Yes. And I apologize. I feel like I got too excited and thought this was coming out when that already had started. It's not quite started yet. So if you do go to Patreon.com, the tier has not gone live.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, correct. And so, but if you do sign up for our $5 tier now You will automatically get I believe you should automatically Get the $5 tier later, but right or you can upgrade to 10 when the 10 goes Yes, and the 10 will go live May 22nd. Exactly, right? That's the video content. Yeah, and then yeah I just want to clarify and then the $2 tier if you're already a patron at the $2 tier, you will not get bumped up. But you are obviously welcome to bump up once the time comes.

So right. Yeah. And we will be sharing like two or two dollar tier as well. We will be sharing at least maybe this video if yeah. Or another video, we'll be sharing a video episode, at least one to like show you what it's like. Give you a taste of a good life. Yeah, come on, like tease you a little. That's weird to say, I'm sorry.

Maybe we'll even let you have a peek at me blowing my nose. It's a special occurrence, only some are welcome. Yeah, you get to see the stuff that happens when we just mute ourselves to do what. You can see me sipping my coffee the entire time we record. All of this feels like a bad idea. The more we talk about it, the more I'm like, wait a minute. So don't make us regret this.

No. Oh, and don't forget to buy tickets to our live tour. Oh my fucking God. We're going on tour. We have like a real tour schedule. It's coming up. With like real, like multiple towns, multiple cities and we'd love to see you there. Yeah. All right. Thanks. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Beach to Sandy Water

to Wet is a Forever Dog Production hosted and produced by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. Edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Zilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bowham.