Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 287: Reviews of Food Delivery Services

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

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What's behind the Dairy Farmers of Canada Blue Cow logo on your favorite dairy products? It's high Canadian standards, which means we meet 42 food safety requirements, we work with animal care experts, and work towards a sustainable future. That's dairy farming forward. Hey everyone, I'm X-Teen. I'm Zandy. And we've got a super exciting announcement for you all that has been centuries eons in the making. To kick off the unofficial start of summer, Beach Two Sandy Water to what is diving head first

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Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello everyone and welcome to Beach to Sandy Waters who at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm Xtine. I'm Zandy. Hi. Hey, today I am enthralled about our theme. I'm not really, but I mean, because I'm, I'm, I'm. Okay. Wait, you don't have to say that. I mean, I'm not more or less enthralled than normal.

I am trying to bring a level of exuberance that I don't usually bring to the table. Here is the, why? Cause I haven't slept too much. I'm overcompensating for what I feel is something I'm lacking today. I see that. That makes sense. Okay. Yeah. This is overcompensating. Oh, I see. I see. I see. I see that. That makes sense. Okay. Yeah. This is a review. Nope. This is an episode where we were like, whoa, you really just want to get into this. Then we have like three minutes to just like bullshit. Like we always do. Yeah. I don't know. Sometimes I get in my a little in my head about it. Do you

want to say something interesting? No. So we're- Because I have nothing to say. Oh, okay. Yeah, you say that. Well, if you're not going to say anything, then maybe just stop talking and let me talk. Okay. These are reviews of food delivery services that we're reading today.

Think Grubhub, think DoorDash, think UberEats. And I had a challenge from Natalie, which was to find reviews where someone felt that the name of the business was misleading. That's pretty, that's- I feel like that has a potential for some. Oh, a game? Some oh, I did not even think of that.

A game maybe perhaps? Per chance? I hope so. Per chance? Oh man, okay. I love a good game. Okay. Yeah, I'm excited.

Now I'm excited. Wake up. I wasn't at all beforehand. I told you. Oxener, I'm going to go first. Okay. I told you. Oxynr, I'm going to go first. This is a review from Ellie, she, her of Uber Eats and Ellie signed off the email, proud member of the She For Siblings podcast universe, which I enjoyed.

And this is a once- What does that mean? Being a member? Sorry, that made it sound like there was some sort of fan club. Yeah, you can't just be a member. Don't we have to approve that? It's our universe. Yeah. I don't think I just, I'm going to let just anyone into my universe.

Wait your turn. Pay the fee. Pay your HOA. Oh yeah. I need to, I need to. The entire universe has an HOA. That's right. Our universe does have an HOA. How else would we keep all the flower boxes watered? This is a one star review by Jenny called Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Guy delivers my McDonald's coffee in a Ziploc bag and say this always happens because he delivers on a bike. Don't know why you deliver on a bike then, but hey,

what do I know? I could complain to Uber. He wasn't prepared to be helpful at all. Called Uber who deny it's anything to do with them and I should take it up with McDonald's who also deny it's anything to do with them. This is a scam and should not be allowed. End of review. Is there a photo? There's not a photo. That's a bummer. I cannot... When you first said this I'm picturing liquid in a Ziploc bag. Same. And now I'm wondering if it's a Ziploc bag that they put the cup in so that if it leaks. That is traditionally what I've seen in most of these reviews. That they are sealed in another bag or even a grocery bag and then kind of any leakage is just part of the course. So if that's the case, then what's the problem?

I don't know. That's why I'm like, oh, does that mean that they actually had liquid in a Ziploc bag? Because I'm like, why else would you complain? I mean, I think it's just not maybe aesthetically pleasing to be handed a plastic, wet plastic bag. Oh, yeah, the aesthetics of the dolls. I mean, listen, I'm not agreeing.

No, no, stop, I'm not, this isn't, I know. Stop shouting at me. I was criticizing. This had not. I'm so sorry. Because I think that is a very, I think if you're putting yourself in the mind of this reviewer, which we do way too much,

it's not good for us, but we still do it, you had the right point there. I think that's probably what it is. You know, I always thought true crime podcasting would be the most unhealthy for my, my conscience and my consciousness and my soul and my psyche. But it seems like this show has been more damaging than I gave it credit for. Credit is the right word for that. Yes. Give it credit for being damaging to our psyches. Credit where credit's due, you know? You know what? It is about time that we gave our show

credit for hurting our mental health. Anyway, here's a review. I'm sure mom and dad would appreciate the break. So yeah. It's too real. Here's a one star review. This was sent in by Kirstie. And this is a review of Deliveroo. It's a UK based delivery service. It's the same type of thing. That should be Australian and we all know it. You know what? It really should be. But I'm pretty sure now that you said that, I'm like, wait a second, Is it actually Australian? No, it's, it's that feels like they'd be leaning to like, they, they'd be like, we're not a mockery, like our, our country's animal, our continent's animal is not a mockery.

You know? Yeah, true, true. That's a good point. They wouldn't like, it's like Outback steakhouse. Of course it's not actually Australian. What? Outback steakhouse? It's like Outback Steakhouse. Of course it's not actually Australian. What? Outback Steakhouse? It's not?

You're being facetious, yes? I can't tell. I don't really know what the word facetious means. I just use it a lot. Okay, me too. I was hoping you'd just go with it. Okay, I'm pretty sure that's what that word is for though. Oh, for you.

Because like anyone I've met calls it a... Well, you just called it out that you didn't know what it meant. I was like, uh-oh. Well, that's why, because I'm like, I use it pretty confidently in the same context. So I thought I would just clarify to everyone that they don't need to correct us. We know that we don't know what it means. Anyway, go ahead. Do you know what Outback Steakhouse's parent company is called?

No. Bloomin' Brands. What else do they own? Anything? They own blimps. They have a couple of outback blimps. Do they really? Yeah. I don't know if they still are in existence,

but that's a thing. Oh my God. Okay. Wow. Yeah. It's not cool. I mean, cool. Do you know how many blimps there are in the world? Yeah Probably too many You know, I don't know if I'd agree with that it's a tremendous waste of helium

I mean, I'm not saying that's wrong, but I feel like the number that exists I'm like, I don't think that's too many that might be the right amount as I was and 25 thousand 25 no I'm like, I don't think that's too many. That might be the right amount. It's amazing. Uh, 25, thousand 25. No, that. Oh no, that's in the U S I think maybe, but anyway, yeah. So they're only like, there, I think under a hundred in the world active blimps.

I'm not kidding. This is not, this is not I think we should start over. I am so sorry. I think we should start the episode. I think we should start the episode. Remember when we were talking about Deliveroo? And it's not even Australian,

but then we talked about Outback and Blimps, and then it's all been my fault. I just, I'm sorry. Just a fun fact. It's like they're under, I think under a hundred Blimps in the world. It's not crazy. Anyway. That is, that's pretty

wild. Here we go. Here's a one star review of Deliveroo. Absolutely appalling service. I'm disgusted with Deliveroo ordered from Burger King this evening spent nearly 50 quid took over an hour to arrive. Imagine spending 50 pounds on fucking Burger King and then you know it's cold. Like it arrives cold. It's not even like you get it straight in the drive through. You see, you're already getting to the heart of the issue, but I agree.

I think, um, this was going to be disappointing for them. No matter what. If you spend that much money at a fast food place like Burger King, it's going to be disappointed. Yeah, that's what's so great about Taco Bell. It can disappoint you, but you're like, okay, I spent like $10 on way too much food, more food than I can eat. Yeah, which isn't even true for me because I get all the vegan substitutes. It's actually not cheap at all. It's so annoying. Anyway, here we go. I'm so sorry. I've avoided it for so long.

I haven't had Taco Bell in months. Couldn't be me. Anyway, here we go. It took over an hour to arrive. It all arrived cold, shriveled, overcooked, oily fries, nuggets, rock hard, undercooked floppy onion rings, cheese like wax, just nasty all throughout. The only thing that was warm was the drinks. Missing dips too.

I wanted a refund as honestly it was inedible. Disgusting, TBH. The refund? £9.45. Chat was worse than useless. It absolutely sweet fah. Oh my god, I meant to look this up and I don't know what it is. If it is even a thing. Dang,

sweet fa, sweet fuck all. Sorry, now I feel silly that I said fa like do re mi fa. Jesus Christ. F**k all. Oh, or sweet Fanny Adams. I prefer that usage. Thank you. I kind of like that. Okay.

Which means basically fuck all. Yeah. So it means like nothing. So they were, so they did absolutely nothing, man. That was embarrassing. So they meant, oh, I see. So they meant, okay. Yeah.

They did absolutely sweet Fanny Adams. If I had a nickel. I need to put that in my, my vocabulary. My repertoire. I think you just did. Fuck facetious. Get out of the way. We have a new word to misuse.

Fuming doesn't come close to how I'm feeling right now. Never using them again. It is not my fault the restaurant can't be bothered to serve their customers correctly, so I honestly don't understand why I'm not entitled to a full refund. Disgusting. End of review. And I feel like they came very close to the point, like the issue here, saying it is not my fault that the restaurant

fucked this up. Right, right, but is it the delivery person's fault? And yet they're directly reviewing delivery room to say that they're at fault, which don't get me wrong. I'm sure there have been issues where drivers are at fault for things like this, but more, I feel like more often than not, it's like, well, yeah, what do you expect? It's like where I am, if I order from a place that's miles

away and it comes cold, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna be like, or spent $50 on fast food. Fast food. You're gonna do sweet Fannie Adams. Sweet Fannie Adams, but by the end of them making my last thing in my $50 order. The cheese, the waxy cheese. I was like, no wonder by the time you get to waxy cheese,

everything else is wilted and withered. Like if you go drive through and bring it home, it's cold by the time you get home. Like how can you expect that? But I did like that they basically ordered everything. Onion rings, they had like the, everything was cold, shriveled. I like that word.

I didn't like it, but I weirdly like it. I don't know. I don't know. I just Are you okay? No, your turn. This is from Brad he him, who said, sorry about the delay in reviews. I've been struggling overcoming my fear of stairs. I just feel like they are always up to something. And why did I read that? I don't know.

Brad has a chokehold on me somehow. I can't figure out what it is or why, but I, like, I just can't stop reading everything. I almost spit my coffee out like three times during that sentence. Like the one that got me the most maybe was Brad has a chokehold on me. I think this is a perfect time for it. And we've taught, I assume it's the same Brad, sorry, that we've talked about having a choke hold on this podcast. I think we use those same words when he had like three out of four of the

themes slash challenges within two weeks. Yeah. I think I called it triple Decker is what I called it. Um, yeah, that's unfortunate, but I believe that's correct. I feel like that is what you said. We missed a learning opportunity when you spit your coffee out. If you had a Ziploc bag handy, you wouldn't have had to deal with that issue. Looking for one. I got, I got a, an edible bag. That's kind of similar.

I have an empty uncrustables wrapper. That could have been a good spot. I have my vegan jerky bag. Give it a nice little coffee taste. Quit bragging. Okay, this is... Who am I? Quit bragging. I don't know.

You don't know? You? No. Quit bragging? Yeah. Is that a reference? Yeah. To someone we know? Yeah. Okay. So it's not

interesting to anyone but us and maybe like one other person. Of course not. Why would I say it if it was interesting to anyone else? Who? Tim. Does he say that? He does say that. Unless I'm like really losing my mind, but I swear to God, he says quit bragging. Maybe it's just to me. Maybe I say things that aren't worth bragging about. Yeah, maybe you just brag a lot. Oh, so he says it's sarcastic. It's sarcastic. Yeah. That's so funny. I love that. I don't know why he doesn't do that to me because I don't... Our stepdad at the time of day. Is he being facetious when he does that? I mean, why don't you ask him? Also, I wasn't bragging. I'd be, if you want to hear what an actual brag is, I actually have two empty, uncrustable wrappers on my desk right now. That is bragging.

Okay. This is a review from Brad. Oh, so Brad actually found this. What? Just like, I forgot where we started on this. Okay. Are you done? This is from Brad, uh, who says I stumbled upon a website that really drew a unique crowd

of some upset customers. That website is called PissedConsumer.com. That's a real website. So I guess there's a- A bastion of like- Yeah, there's a site for everything. Healthy- Yeah, healthy-

Healthy coping. ... coping with issues. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, so this one's called DoorDash, rude delivery from Walmart. So as you can imagine, I'm sure that these people get all their complaints scored away. This feels like the bottom of the barrel. Like you've reached out to every possible avenue where you might get some, like, some something back for your-

Restitution. Restitution. Right. Exactly. And this is the last, this is the last just bottom of the barrel. Like I guess I can bitch one more time on the internet. I know nothing's going to come of it. Yeah.

This is where you give up. Give up hope. You go here. Yeah. Yeah. Just draw. Yeah. Just throw it out there.

So it actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah. This is, uh, this is this one-star view. Ready? Yes. From DoorDash, or about DoorDash. Unbelievably bad service. Ordered from Walmart Superstore on Lake Cook

in Buffalo Grove. Delivery person was a small woman who was supposed to carry full order, including 40 bottles of water. First, she went to the wrong address, 350 instead of 375. She called me and my mom directed her to 375. When she arrived, she sat in her car. I yelled at her that I was ready for the order, but she refused to bring it.

She wanted me to walk a long way to the parking lot and pick up my order. The order is to be delivered to your door. When I told her to bring it, she jumped out of her car, screamed, and called me a bitch. At that point, I told her to take the order back and called the store to complain. Walmart manager told me he would blacklist her from delivering for any Walmart again, ever. He told me to complain to DoorDash so that you can fire her. I wasn't going to contact you until my mom told me she got a call from the DoorDash driver telling her that her daughter, me, was rude, and that she was going to leave her

fucking order in the parking lot. Her name is Brittany and you should be able to contact the Walmart manager. Walmart credited my account, but this animal you have working for you is, one, too stupid to read the address, 2. A foul mouth piece of low class trash. If you continue to hire this type of person, you will go out of business. My number is 847-beep beep beep beep beep beep. Sure, 5 feet, 90 pounds, long dark hair, young and stupid with a big foul mouth. End of review. What? Okay, I'm confused about this site now. Were they copying and pasting something?

I'm sure they were because- Is that what that was? Because I'm like, who are they talking to? Also, there's- It appears they're talking to- I do talking to DoorDash, but DoorDash clearly hadn't been concerned about their concerns. And so they just copied and pasted

their message to DoorDash here. Yeah, well, because they were fully refunded. So what's, I mean, I know that they're mad at that person, but I feel like they've gotten what they came to get, I assume, which is a refund, but I suppose they want more, which is to put this woman in prison? They want validation of these internet strangers that justice has not yet been served. Well, there is a footnote here that says, or this review, which by the way, on this website-

Is this like a research type paper? A footnote, yeah, it has a bibliography. And it says, review number 2194294 is a subjective opinion of this reviewer. Yeah, thanks. Just in case anyone was wondering. That was not clear until now. It wasn't, yeah.

I thought that was very objective. Very not biased whatsoever. You foul mouth piece of low class trash. One person found it helpful and zero people found it not helpful. So you know what? She changed her life that day. But they acknowledged though,

how like it was a big order for one person to handle, right? Right. They're like, why would you send a 90 pound woman to bring me 40 bottles of water? Yeah. Which is like, hmm. Because, and they were saying, why would you send that? Because there's no way I'm willing to help. There's no way I'm willing to go get that from the parking lot. Are you kidding me? Yeah. By the way, parentheses, a long way. But like you were talking to her,

so it wasn't that fucking far, but whatever. Don't get me wrong, I love the delivery right to your door. That's my ideal, especially the leave, the one where they just leave it, so I don't have to talk to them. The best, the best. But if there's an issue, go fucking deal with it. It's your responsibility.

I do not think it's the driver's responsibility to deal with stuff like that. Anyway, okay. It says here, the preferred solution is let the company propose a solution. That's a thing on this website? Like it has like...

You can pick like what you want. Like vote? Like the readers can vote? It's almost like a form. It's like the submitter. Yeah. So it says like user's recommendation. Do not use preferred solution. Let the company propose a solution.

DoorDash pros never again. DoorDash cons staff. So it's very organized. This the title of this site did not give Professional vibes. I mean, it didn't give the vibe that you people would be able to like, fill out an organized form with like, I don't know. Yeah. Different questions. It's surprising. What's it called again? What's it called again? Oh, uh,

pissed something. Let me see. Pissed consumer.com. And in South countries, you can't even have that website because it's, they're going to think it's just drunk people. Yeah, you should. If you tried to write a review of Dunkaroos, what's it called? Deliveroo? If you tried to write a review of Deliveroo on pissed consumer, they're going to be like, then don't drunk order your Burger King from us.

Like they're not, that's so trusiny, they're not going to get it. But it's better that way than driving yourself. So, hey, props to the pissed consumer who understands that they shouldn't be driving. They leave the rage to the anonymous forums, not the road. Um, oh, here we go. Whoa, what? Uh, I just scrolled down. I forgot Brad said scroll down to see the updates.

So this person who posted this added an update. I sent an email to the door dash CEO. I thought you should know. Yeah. Yeah. He was worried. I'm sure. I'm sure about it.

God damn. CEOs don't like, do these people really think CEOs care about anyone? And I say that as because like in a genuine way, like, do they know like, does anyone really believe that? I think some people do maybe you should see like, how he travels. And then you'd be like, Oh, my concerns are nothing. We travels. Well, just like one image of like him eating breakfast or on his plane or any day to day, like snapshot would immediately put you into reality of like, Oh shit, nevermind. Yeah. Does this guy care about Pisconsumer.com?

Not even a little bit. Also, by the way, I'm so sorry. I scroll down and all the five comments are just Alicia commenting who wrote this original review. I thought maybe there was some discourse going on, but it's just Alicia replying to comment by Alicia over and over again. Like updating. Just like-

Yay, I love a good update, but I don't think these are very good updates. Oh, I'm so glad that you like an update because here is the first one that says- Oh no, that's not what I wanted. Okay, it says one star. It says, okay. It says one star. Um, it says I filed a complaint door dash, contact me and asked me to let the driver apologize instead.

She swore at me again. So I don't know how they like put this mediation into play, like how they. Well, the CEO organized it. He's like, come aboard my jet. I have, we got to get to the bottom of this. I've been losing sleep over this situation. Plot twist, the CEO was the driver. The CEO, she like was a driver

and it was all undercover boss. Oh my God, it was undercover boss. Oh my God. She's like, I didn't know I had to fucking carry 40 water bottles. Fuck my own company. I hate it here. If the DoorDash CEO had to drive DoorDash for a day,

maybe even an hour. But how much would I pay to see, I would pay so much. They might just shut down the whole company. I would pay so much to see that happen. Oh man. This is what we put people through on both sides. I don't think they would care that much. I think they just would more care that like, well, yeah.

I don't know. Here's another update. Oh, good. I was like, oh, yeah. I don't know. Here's another update. Oh, good. I was like, Oh, is it my turn? No, we need more updates. Obviously not. Okay. So they had this mediation session, right? And she heard the DoorDash representative say to this other woman, I guess on the phone, which is like a wild thing. It's wild. Yeah, for you. It's like, you can't even imagine someone that you like, like, you can't even imagine- Well, first of all- About someone that you like, let alone-

For me, I don't even get on the phone with you. So here, let's see. I then heard him say to the woman, "'You're fired. That is the third time this week you have assaulted a senior citizen.'" Then she sent me a text- Third strike, sorry.

Like- The first time you beat up that grandfather while crossing the street, second time. Yeah, it says, then this woman sent me a text and told me she would shit in my food and was coming over to kick my ass. And she called me a dummy and didn't realize her boss was listening. I contacted the police and made a report on her threats. Okay, here's another one. He had been listening the entire time. The DoorDash manager said, you have one week. Okay, I called the police. He said there was nothing he

could do but to call immediately if she comes around here again and he would then arrest her. Who in their right mind would want to use DoorDash again? Do you screen your people, do a background check or anything? You have one week to reply. If I do not hear from you, I will send a copy of this email to the Better Business Bureau, Walmart CEO and Yelp.

Your company has big, big problems if this is who you employ and then ask the customer to let them apologize and they go off on you. I may be joining a class action lawsuit. Okay, this is just getting ridiculous. Anyway, so that's that. Wow. You know, some of these things, if they're true, maybe this driver shouldn't be driving toward us. It sounds like she's not anymore.

that this driver shouldn't be driving toward her. It sounds like she's not anymore. Well, okay, maybe that's for the best. Maybe found a less consumer facing job. Forward facing, yeah, yeah, consumer facing position somewhere where everyone can thrive. She got hired at the call center

and now when they call to complain, she's like, I'll piss in your food, how's that? And now they don't even have to worry. No mediation necessary. I'm sorry. If I knew that every time I submitted a complaint for like missing food on DoorDash, there was a possibility they would put me on the phone with the delivery driver. The fear of God would prevent me from ever filing a companion. I could not.

I would not. Oh man. I will say if I order things and that there's an issue, which isn't every, it's not every time, but I feel like nine times out of 10, it has nothing to do with the driver. But yeah, in this case, hmm, it Sounds like there are some issues with the driver a little bit. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bill

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Okay. Um, here's a review. This was sent in by Connor. Connor sent this in, I think in like 2022 or something. Uh, I think a lot of my emails. So that first one from Kirsty was recent, but then these other ones, I think were sent in earlier, um, the past few years. So here's a review. Uh, this is a one-star

review. This is of Whataburger and it's on Just Eat, which is a similar delivery service, okay? And Connor said that it was found on Reddit. And I actually tried searching for it, maybe it was deleted, but I couldn't find it. So this was originally posted on Reddit. It's a one-star review. Here we go. They are not using the just eat receipt. I literally typed many things for my girlfriend as a funny joke, but they put their receipt. They just slayed my receipt. Maybe put that in the bin. Who knows? I'm shocked when my girlfriend told me I didn't get any receipt. This is not the right restaurant if you want to type some funny sentences for your girlfriend. And never review. Oh, my mistake. I thought this was the company where I could write funny sentences to my

girlfriend. Man, what a mistake. I know. I thought that what a burger and just eat. That was a close one. Yeah. So I think their issue, I mean, it was very confusing. I think I read this three times. Oh, I get it because I was confused I know but I'm order note on the like yeah Look, can I be honest with you? I didn't read the email before I read this review because I was like I'm not gonna bother until I know it's a good review

Because sometimes I feel guilty if someone has a really nice message and then I just didn't want to bring that review Anyway, I read the review and I'm like, what the fuck is going on? You guys like we're ill, we're ill in the head. I think to be fair, we were ill far before this show started. So no doubt. It's just most of it cannot be blamed on this show anyway. Of course not. Um, so, but Connor did explain what just eat is and just, and the first sentence, if I read it word for word is they are not using just eat receipt with no capitalization. So I'm like, who's eating the receipt? So I'm reading, I'm reading the thing and I'm like, Oh, you don't even know

what just to do with eating the receipt. I was so confused. And I was like, were they right on the receipt to eat the receipt? Turns out I just had no idea what the fuck I was doing. So yeah, so anyway, it was not that confusing in the end, but. I wish I knew, what if it was like, I love that it was just funny messages. Like if it were like a serious concern or like,

oh, I put on the receipt, like make sure to do, don't eat this one cause there's peanuts in it and you're allergic. Or like, why would you, but here's something you're really allergic to. It's for me. It's for me for later. Don't eat it. It has peanuts in it. It sounds like a monk episode where it's like, what? Like, how did this allergy thing get in the food if like they knew that they were allergic oh my god someone ate the reticence. That's the only way this would

happen. Oh my god um but yeah I I what a weird it's informative don't get me wrong. What could say oh I see the the ink on the side of their mouth means they've been eating receipts again ink on the side of their mouth because they've been eating receipts again because they have that pica pica thing where you eat paper. So this is an old email from Rachel, she, her, and it's of a place called Crepe and Waffles. This is a one star review by Ryan and it has a business response. While I was ordering, the owner said, I don't help your kind here to an Eastern European man. Never going back. I can't even believe that happened.

Here's a response by a business employee. Okay. Wait a minute, mister. Okay. So I want to make sure that had the intended effect of getting everyone in line. Sit up straight. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm at attention.

Wait a minute, Mr. Ryan. And before you comment, that was a Door Dash driver. He's not allowed in our store for all his bad behavior and attitude. Do not judge a book by its cover. We treat everyone with respect. Except Door Dash drivers. Yeah, this company fucking hated DoorDash drivers. They made that clear in every response.

They were like, that is not our, like you people. I mean, it was. But I don't think they're required to, that's the thing. They're not required to use DoorDash. But I wonder if, I mean, I don't get me wrong. Capitalism, you got to participate in order to like get by but like, there are so many other options that I'm like wondering, like, why can't they, I don't know, or their own delivery? Maybe yeah, I guess maybe there aren't that many options.

I feel like that's just the way, especially with COVID, there are probably not many options for them, unless they had their own dedicated drivers, which is probably far more expensive than just sending, giving, paying the fees to these delivery services. Anyway, sorry. So I did love all the options they could have for, I did love that though, that the misunderstanding, I love a good misunderstanding. There's two Yelp responses that just say, Oh no, Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. No, no. One person said, love this.

What? I don't know who that is. What is going on over there? Who determines the reaction, like emoji reactions on Yelp? Because I think I have some feedback. Oh gosh, write the CEO of Yelp. Oh, good idea. Okay, here. That was really, I love that review. Okay. Not the review review but the back and forth Here's a review sent in. I would never talk to an Eastern European man that way. I only talk to DoorDash drivers that way You racist son of a bitch How could you ever accuse me of something so heinous? I drove for DoorDash briefly

Did you I remember I I was like did you you lived with me? I lived with you. Yeah, I remember I Did not I only did lift for a minute hot second. Yeah, I remember I, I was like, did you, uh, you lived with me? I lived. Yeah. I remember. I did not. I only did lift for a minute. Hot second. Yeah. I did that as well. That's all. It was okay. I don't know. It was something. It was something. I didn't do it for too long. Here's the review. This was sent in by Michaela. One day we were filming undercover boss. Like obviously didn't do it for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. I would do it more, but now I'm just too recognizable. Like there's no way you could disguise me.

No. I mean, usually you have places to be on your yacht and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I need to, uh, if they saw how I traveled, you know, if they just snapshot, just one snapshot, they know you don't have time to mediate all of these

issues. Okay. Just one snapshot they know you don't have time to mediate all of these issues Okay, here's this Michaela she her sent this in Michaela Was Found this on door-dash of Taco Bell and it's a bit of a saga. Okay, CEO of Yelp is Should I? I know, but his name is Jeremy Stoppelman. Stoppelman? He's very funny.

Why, did you just decide that? He looks like a little dweeb. Oh, okay, me too. Maybe I could go undercover as the Yelp CEO. You probably could. He looks like a real down-to-earth guy, you know what I mean? That's who you gotta hire, you know? Be the face of the company, someone who real down to earth guy. You know what I mean? That's, that's who you got to hire, you know, be the face of the company, someone who looks

down to earth. Yeah. Whether or not they are is not important. I think they misunderstood. They thought you said looks down on people on earth, looks down on earth from their big private jet saying, I'm looking down on all these people. I make a great CEO. It's so stupid.

Okay, we need this review of Taco Bell on DoorDash. It's a saga. It's three reviews, same person, each time. Oh, god. Okay. And the first one, this is all within two weeks, okay? July 28th. That makes it worse.

It was a four-star. I feel like if it were over several years, it's like, okay, it just popped back in their head. But two weeks sounds like it took up a okay, it just like popped back in their head. But like two weeks sounds like it took up a lot of their time and energy for those two weeks. I think it's just that they know they just kept ordering it and different. It's a different order each time. Like self-sabotage day after day. Okay.

Yeah. Because they are reviewing their specific order. Understood. Like they're not orders like The same one. Okay, gotcha. Here is a four-star review on July 28th, 2022. Yeah, sometimes the right food shows up, sometimes not. Though I will say this, Taco Bell always sends fresh food, so I at least appreciate that. End of review. Hey, you know what?

Very nice. This guy gets it, you know? Yeah, I mean, that's it. That's middle of the road that's talked about. What star rating? Sorry. That's four. Four? Okay, fair. Now, one star. August 8th. So much can change. Like 11 days later or something? Yeah. One star. Yeah. One star. Okay, my food used to come fresh, but not now. My food be showing up gross in the bag, squashed, nasty. My lettuces be little nasties on my tacos. And I'm like, what the fuck?

What the fuck? Okay, I thought I was like, if I'd been with that first one, now I'm like, whoa, this person has surpassed me on every level. I can't keep up anymore. You don't know what's going on. I don't know. I don't know. I've lost the plot. Um, but yeah, you know, it was actually, but, but still, and yet weirdly I can see it. The nasty, my, my lettuce is a little nasties on my taco. Like exactly what that is. The will to like, mm hmm. Yeah. And it just like, really just, I believe it.

Yeah. I believe that those lettuces were like that beautiful imagination and depiction this person has. Okay. Easy. Gordita crunch was just lacking in lettuce. Next we have a four star review. Okay.

This time the quesadilla sucked. Look nasty, taste it nasty. End of review. Oh, wait. It's four stars. I don't know. Maybe that's, they were like back to normal Taco Bell. You know, I think it feels, this was a journey in more ways than one.

You know, you got to see the thing, but like in this, it just was- Speak on that. Do I have to? you know, you got to see the thing. But like in this, it just was- Speak on that. Do I have to? No, maybe I was being facetious. Oh, I should have done. Because look, they left four stars. We're pretty like, hey, I get how it is. One star, literally the opposite.

The first one started off like, food is always fresh. Second one, my food used to be fresh. Now it's not fresh. Third one, they were like, now that I've seen both sides of the coin, I understand that I can't have it be good all the time. That's a hero's journey. Yes.

This hero with the nasty- Has reached the denouement. The little nasties, With the nasty- Has reached the day new mall. The little nasties, this hero has found peace. Wow. Or at least a shitty quesadilla.

I don't know about peace, but- I mean, honestly, both just as good. One in the same. Both just as good. This is, I mean, truly, if someone handed me two options that it would be one quesadilla or some peace in your life, I think I'd go for the quesadilla. At least right now, it depends, I mean, truly, if someone handed me two options, said it would be one quesadilla or some piece in your life, I think I'd go for the quesadilla.

At least right now. It depends on my mood, but right now. You know, you've said that before. I do say it often. You say it pretty, yeah. So it makes sense. This is from Aliyah She Her, and it is a one-star review of a Greek restaurant that has a tendency to respond viciously to any criticism and

so I have a couple of reviews. This first one is a one-star review written about a year ago and it has a response from the owner. Here is the review. We ordered from this place and I ordered a side salad, extra ranch, and a gyro. For $19, first of all, yikes. I was like, okay, it's going to be so good. I love gyros and homemade ranch and cucumber sauce, yum. Disappointed. The gyro meat isn't even off the lamb as a real Greek restaurant. The ranch tasted like milk and water, like it was added to a bottle, shaken and served. Oh, and charged $4 for the extra runny ranch. The cucumber sauce was awful and my bank account is sad that it lost some friends to such poor circumstances. If you ever had real euros, do not go here never again." End of review. And there will be an update following the response from owner sort of a have like a back to back back and forth

you know, do I need rocket money if I think of my finances as That might really click something in my brain that will help me with my spending maybe you'll finally get off this anti-capitalism rant, You know, just be friends with your friend. You're so right. Okay. I love it. Yeah.

So this is a response from Nicholas. I don't know if it's, it says Nicholas Greek dash Italian restaurant parentheses owner. Were you going to ask if that's their name or what were you going to ask? Yeah. I'm not sure if this is their name and then I'm like, oh, you thought their name? Or what are we gonna ask? You said, I'm not sure if this is their name,

and then I'm like, oh, you thought their name was Nicholas Greek, but then you said it was Nicholas Greek Italian restaurant. Which part? None of that. Is it, what's Nicholas, oh, it's called Nicholas Greek and Italian restaurant. Yeah, I figured. Okay, sorry, I didn't get it.

So you thought the person's name was Nicholas Greek, and it was an Italian restaurant. Yeah. Okay, here's the response. What does Nicholas Greek have to say? Nicholas Greek says, Dear Lydia, a euros and Greek salad and fries or rice cost $13. But you, Princess as you are, you ordered through Door Dash. N. What?

R. You called out. R. You highfalutin' little- N. Oh my gosh. R. But you, Princess as you are, you ordered through Door Dash so the food can be delivered at your palace. Well, they have to charge for their service, not mentioning that in most cases DoorDash drivers pick up the food 30 or 60 minutes after the food is prepared. Our food, fresh and freshly made with no preservatives, is made to be eaten hot and fresh. That is what sets us apart from all other restaurants.

As far as the bad comments about our food, our business and our repeated customers can talk for us. So take your carriage and your miserable self and move forward somewhere where they can treat your issues. We maintain a clean and happy place. You don't belong in our establishment. Ouch, get out of here. After 33 years, we are going strong,

stronger actually now. End of response? Wow. Wow. Um, now... And there's an update? They, like, responded to that? Lydia added a little edit to her original review, which says, Edit after response from the owner. I did call, and that $13 was not the price the person who answered the phone gave me. Regardless of how I received my meal, I work from home, it doesn't change that it was terrible.

Where I'm from, the meat is actually sliced off the lamb and grilled to perfection. If someone loves this place, great. You have to accept criticism in order to grow. And in the future, that's Miss princess, you disrespectful little twat waffle. I'm hearing you're closing now, maybe because of your funky attitude. You know that meat sucks. You should be ashamed. Kiss emoji, kiss emoji, kiss emoji. End of response. Lydia. Lydia had the last fucking laugh. Oh my god.

Lydia. I should have also added after you disrespectful little twat waffle, there are three crown emojis. Yeah. Also like who accuses someone ordering up DoorDash to be like a princess in a palace. Yeah, it's just like, okay. I mean. I thought in my mind and it's funny

cause in my mind I was like, oh yeah. Like, you know, if they're complaining about the price when DoorDash has all those fees, like of course that's on them. But I mean, they even said they called and they didn't get that price point anyway. Oh my gosh. And I will say I've read many of I'm going to read you more and it's pretty clear who's a, who's kind of the unhinged one. Usually I just go with whoever said something last.

That's my go to a lot of the times. Excellent. You know, I just like take the side of whoever was most recently. Yeah, we're kind of like goldfish. We just like, so, oh yeah, I have no idea what happened in the first two Lydia just, I don't know, crushed it. Crushed it. I just love that. Also they did close or it looks like they did close based on this. Like, he's like, we're going strong after 33 years. And then her update is like, Oh really? Yeah. What I didn't say before was that response reminded me of our grandfather. Interesting. I had the same thought that I kept my mouth shut.

Yeah. I did not because he's on the mind. Well, I mean, just cause grandpa Greek sometime, Opa Greek just Greek sometimes sometimes becomes a little bit petulant. Petulant. That is a weak word. That is not petulant. It does not begin to describe it.

Um, here is one of those things. Yeah, true. We'll build up. That is not, Petulant does not begin to describe it. Here is- I thought it was start small. One of those things, yeah, true. We'll build up. By the end of the episode, we'll be accusing them of war crimes. Yeah, exactly. Here is a review sent in by Kristen.

This is of a Door Dash order of Chick-fil-A, this is a redemption because yeah, we all could use it, huh? This one is gonna be great. Lift the spirits. Here we go. Five stars. Cool. Okay. Five stars. Good. Yeah. Okay. So good, I shoved the sprite up my hoo-ha. End of review. Oh! My oh my! And it's a verified order. Oh no! It doesn't verify that that happened thankfully but that is verified order. Click on her profile and the next review is like of an OBGYN like

I had to go get my yeast infection treated. Apparently carbonated beverages don't really do the trick like I thought. Yikes. The trick? What trick was it do you think? To fix her yeast infection? I don't know. Oh I see. Oh I see. It didn't cause it. It originally did and then I thought maybe it was used as a treatment method. Like the time I put lemon juice in my ear to fix the water in my ear and then I realized now not only did I have water in my ear I also had lemon juice in my ear so it's almost like it compounded the issue. Yeah. Well, okay. Yes. But in this example, you would have then put in more lemon juice to fix the lemon juice because you're saying

the sprite caused the yeast infection and then you're like, oh, and then they tried to use it as a cure. No, I guess what I mean is, um, I thought at first I thought, oh, maybe the Sprite is what caused it. And then I said, oh, no, no, no, they probably already had an existing yeast infection from shoving maybe a Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb, God forbid, up their hoot hawk. Oh, I see. Okay. So a different carbonated beverage.

Perhaps. And I mean, when you consider Sprite and like Dr. Pepper, I would think that the effects of Dr. Pepper would be offset by the spray. Obviously, no doubt. So I, you know what? That makes a lot of sense. I think we really got into the mind of this and the hoo-ha of this reviewer.

Finally. So I'm glad. It's about time. This is a review also from Aliyah of the same Nicholas Greek. Nicholas Greek, right? It's actually called Nicholas Greek. I know it is. We went through this.

You're like, I explained that to you. Nobody else did. I'm the one who explained that. Okay, this is a one-star review. Incidentally by someone named Karen. If your door dash and an order comes up for this place, you might want to decline it. One, they don't get it in a hurry and the staff is rude. End of review. And now Nicholas Greek.

Uh oh. Had something to say. DoorDashers are not customers. They are supposed to follow instructions set by both the restaurant and the DoorDash company. This Karen person came in the restaurant with a company. Just seconds after we got the order, she occupied two chairs at the front table smelling like pigs in the mud, and that is why the waitress asked them to wait outside. This restaurant is for customers, not for pigs. End of review. Or is my-

Yeah, like, what the fuck? I love how she's like, if your door dash, cancel this order. And then everyone reading it is like, okay, double canceled the order. I'm not participating in this anymore. Like, they're not gonna have a choice whether they're on door dash anymore. No drivers are gonna show up. My god, yeah. I want to see if it's still on door dash. I mean, look, there are policy I've seen that with like door dash, like it being a problem with like too a door dash. I mean, look, there are policies, I've seen that with like door dash,

like it being a problem with like too many door dashers at a location, but like I've seen people lay down rules and whatever, but like, and, and you can present this information in a way that's not so fucking mean, that was crazy. Yeah, it just gets like very aggressive in a personal way that doesn't seem warranted, nor does it seem helpful to your business a personal way that doesn't seem warranted, nor does it seem helpful to your business.

Like reading that doesn't make me think, oh, well, as a customer, now I feel comfortable eating here. You know, like now that I know that- Yeah, they're not doing themselves any favors. Or the average- Was that the same place? Yes. Oh, that's funny.

Wait, I think so. I did not realize that all three- Wait, no, maybe not. Maybe not. No, you're probably right. I think it was a different one. That first one was a crepe and waffles. My mistake. Of course. But I guess some, some other places have a strong opinions about dashers as well.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, which is funny. Cause I feel like why it's for me door to, yeah, obviously door dash is one of the bigger ones, but like we're eats. Um, and like a Grubhub and, uh, like there's so many, and I feel like it's become like door dashers, like it's, it's the word for all of them. Oh, sure. It's just easier to say than like Uber eats delivery drivers, you know? True. Yeah, that's true.

Like it's just a postmates driver, which, well, postmates dry. Yeah. See, yeah, It's just a that's all it is. Postmates driver, which Well postmates dry. Yeah, see yeah, there's that's not like post mates are Dasher is easier Dasher yeah, so they they kind of like shot themselves in the foot with that one a little bit cuz all the complaints But I don't know. I don't know Here is a my this is my last one. This was sent in by Bailey She her who was ordering a place from a place called Green Tea Sushi with her boyfriend, and the boyfriend showed this DoorDash review, and this is a five-star review.

It's a nice redemption. Here we go. The gyoza is always heavenly, like Jesus Christ himself lovingly sidled up to me and caressed my cheek before violently choking me with his love. I adore gyoza. I would murder someone just to get on death row and have gyoza as my last meal. Biting into it is akin to drowning in the arms of your lover, to drinking in their kisses and running out of air. Eros hath struck me with his arrow

and I have fallen madly in love with Gioza. The fried rice is good too. End of review. Oh no, sad fried rice. Fried rice is just the backup side chick. And Bailey said, needless to say after reading it, we had to try the gyoza. And yes, it's fantastic, but I don't think I love it as much as this reviewer. I don't think anyone does.

Bailey and Bailey's boyfriend. I'm happy to hear that. In your defense, that's probably for the best. I, it is very much for the best. So that was a very positive update that you liked it, but didn't have this kind of reaction for your own health. What an evocative and like violent review. It's like, it's like, it's like, wow, it's, it's really strongly worded.

But then it's like, but it's always very, uh, violence coded. Like, Oh, I'm like, but then he chokes me out. Oh, I'm kissing my lover. And then I, I run out of oxygen. It's like, Whoa, okay. Um, I'm like, but then he chokes me out. Oh, I'm kissing my lover. And then I, I run out of oxygen. It's like, Whoa, okay. I guess, I guess that's evocative in its own way. I just love it so much. It'll kill me. Certainly evocative.

It's where the wild things are, you know? Huh? Isn't that, isn't that book about loving someone? Well, partly, don't they mention loving someone so much you want to kill them? Like you want to be in love? Yeah, it's also kind of like the giving tree and the Velveteen Rabbit. True, oh, but man, uh-oh.

Love something so much you want to kill it. Yeah. Okay, so this is another review from Alia of Nicholas Greek Italian restaurant. It's a one star review by, well, it's a one star review by, well, it's a one star rating by- I'm starting to sweat that you're reading all these. I know.

Me too. I'm nervous. It's a one star review by John, but it's just a rating, sorry, not a review. So here's a response from Nicholas Greek. We might have to bleep out all of my previous responses cause I'm afraid of getting a response about my comments. We don't, we don't, we don getting a response about my comments.

We don't want. It'll just be you talking and then eeeeee. You talking? Eeeeee. Just anything I said about this place. Just redacted. Redacted. This is a one-star review or one-star rating and then here's a response from Owner. A review to be constructive has to have a reason, either good or bad.

Just because I am better looking than you is not a good enough reason. Get over it. End of response. What the fuck? I don't know. It's sad that the more I hear, the more it reminds me of my grandfather.

Some people might be listening thinking, oh, okay, there's no way you can say it like still say that about it. Wow. Yeah. Is he regretting that comparison? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no By the way, this place is actively still open so I don't feel that I will be requesting comment from them whatsoever Oh, I thought they closed for uh-oh so they were wrong. Oh my gosh. You misled me They misled me first. Yeah, I know I know whoever that reviewer was Yeah Order on their website first thing order order online with DoorDash. Oh God, oh God.

Don't threaten me with a good time, Mr. Bree. What's that your last one by the way? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm done. Okay, I just have one redemption. That's it. Okay. This is from China, she, her, and it's a review of a company called Bokeh Flowers. Oh, Bokeh, I get it.

Bokeh, B-O-K-A-Y. How, Bokeh, B-O-K-A-Y. B-O-K-A-Y, Flowers on DoorDash. And this is Five Stars by Wolf Schlegelsteinhausen Bergerdorf, Sr. Oh, that's the CEO of Yelp. Oh. Oh. That's the CEO of Yelp, that's right.

Wolf Schlegelsteinhausen Bergerdorf, senior Five stars ah Blue Rose always remind my dead wife that I bury her under my orange tree end of review Hmm I'm so upset The end. So this could be more- okay. What?

Why are you yelling at me? What do you want? I'm so confused. They're reminded- Sorry. Ah, blue rose always remind my dead wife that I bury her under my orange tree. I think it means it reminds me of my dead wife. Yeah, so our parents' English is not their first language, so we often have to like, I mentally just translate certain things to make, you know.

So I'm not like trying to say that this, you know, I'm just trying to like do that here. Because I'd like to think there's nothing sinister going on. But that's hard to think when, um, it makes it sound like, okay, I have like five different things that could be here. A couple. My first thought was, okay, the wife is buried under the orange tree and it's, and then the flowers go there. It's like, oh, a nice reminder for that. I like

put the flowers there. But then I was like, or these flowers are for the wife. And it's like, Hey, wife, like, don't forget. I can bury you under that orange tree. That sounds like one of these thriller paperbacks that I buy at the airport. Yeah. Oh, she this is your reminder is, Is your husband's bringing you all these nice flowers? That's so nice. No, it's actually my daily reminder that he's gonna bury me under the orange tree. Like, oh wow, that's sinister.

And also nonsensical, but somehow, gets me every time. Which, and also posting a review about that is, does not make sense. So I don't think it's actually that, but my brain went through all these different Also like those blue rose what like blue roses you have to dye them that color and Why not orange roses for the orange? That's exactly it like maybe because they're

contrasting colors. Oh lovely thought Mm-hmm. Yeah So that's all I've got for you today. The end. That was quite the finale. Yes, thank you. Now it's time for my challenge, but can I go pee first? Go for it.

I'm so sorry. Is this gonna be on the video for the patrons? No, like a, what? Oh, the peeing? Yeah, absolutely. You wanna come with me? Not me. No, not you. You haven't paid your $10. I'm kidding. I was just kidding. Oh, the peeing? Yeah, absolutely. Should I, you want to come with me? Um, not me. No, not you. You haven't paid your $10.

I am not paying $10 a month to watch you pee. You, most people in my life don't have to cause I usually leave the door open, but I am going to mute it. Thank God. Oh, yeah. She, why? She's bringing her mic in there. That's weird.

All right. I'm back from my journey. Um, this is now my challenge and, uh, it was suggested to me from, or by Natalie and it's reviews where someone felt that the name of the business was misleading. I got quite a few submissions for this, so thank you to everyone. It feels like it has so much potential. I'm excited. Yeah, it feels like we could do this 20 more times without even a little bit of crossover. I love those challenges. Yeah. So this is from Ellie and it's a review of the executive diner in Alexandria, Virginia. executive diner in Alexandria, Virginia. Wow. Yeah.

Sounds like fancy, but like pretending to be fancy. Well, is this a restaurant? Yeah, I think you and I probably had the same opinion and Teresa was a little bit starry eyed when she recently had the unfortunate experience of dining at the Executive Diner, and I must say that the standards of this establishment were subpar in several aspects. From the moment I entered, I could sense that something was off. The problem started with the food itself, which was both cold and undercooked. I ordered the chicken fried steak, hoping for a hearty and satisfying meal.

However, to my disappointment, the steak arrived cold, and the texture and blood suggested that it was undercooked. And then when it balked at me, I knew, no kidding. This was, this was certainly not what I expected from a place with a name like the executive diner. I mean, like literally on dinner, that is exactly what I would expect from a place called the executive diner. I mean, it has diner in the name, which to me, in a suburb of Washington, D.C. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love diners. But like, you know what this, it sounds like though,

what it feels like the Executive Diner gives me like corporate food court type thing, or like corporate cafeteria. Corporate cafeteria. Not good, like not good food. Not in a good way. Just like a corporate cafeteria. And also like those breakfasts where it's like,

oh, you could get an egg out of this container. Who knows how long it's been sitting here, but it's free. Oh, like kind of like a hotel breakfast type thing? Yes, a hotel breakfast. Interesting, yeah. It's kind of like the executive lounge at the Holiday Inn Express is where we eat breakfast. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's kind of the vibe executive, the executive lounge at the Holiday Inn Express is where we eat breakfast. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of the vibe, like executive. Same, same.

To make matters worse, the coffee we ordered was not only cold, but also tasted downright disgusting. I thought maybe I could salvage my experience by trying the hot chocolate, but that too turned out to be a cold disappointment. Apart from the quality of the food and beverages, the cleanliness was very questionable. I noticed several hygiene issues that made me uncomfortable. The tables were sticky, the floors appeared dirty, and the overall atmosphere felt unclean. It was clear that the diner lacked proper maintenance and attention to cleanliness. Perhaps the most egregious issue I encountered was with the fried chicken wings. As I bit into a piece, I discovered chicken feathers still attached to the meat. This was completely unacceptable and a clear indication of poor food preparation and quality control.

I mean, maybe it's happened to me. That what? Yeah, it makes it like as if they're chopping chickens up in the back. Like that happened to me. They probably get them delivered from some like the frozen chickens. One time. Ask me which restaurant. I hop. Oh, I'm asking you. Sorry. I'm not guessing. Chicken. Okay. Oh, okay. Really? Yeah, I've never eaten there again. I was so horrified. Yeah, I've never eaten there again. I was so horrified. A real feather? Yeah, it was fucking disgusting.

Gross. Yeah, like now, you know, at the time I was like horrified, obviously. Now I'm like, well... Yeah. Well, I mean... It came from a chicken, but still... No, literally, the vegan in me is like, well, okay, look, if you eat a chicken and you get a part of a chicken and you're upset about it... You should hold the feather of the chicken as you eat a chicken and you get a part of a chicken and you're upset about it, I mean, you're eating the chicken. You should hold the feather of the chicken as you eat it.

That should be your punishment. It's like a reminder of where it came from. Yeah, it's like when our ancestors would like kill food, but like for actual meat, you know, and then they would like respectfully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like what you would do at a KFC when they give you a feather and then you just put it

onto your, onto the boa you've created of all the times that you've eaten at KFC when they give you a feather and then you just put it onto the boa you've created of all the times that you've eaten at KFC. It's a reminder. Okay. Well, wow. Sorry. So anyway. Did you finish or are you still?

No. I'm still talking about this horrible, horrible experience. To add insult to injury, when I brought these issues to the manager's attention, he attempted to make excuses. He argued that the wings are brought in with feathers and that the country fried steak is meant to be served at this temperature. This level of indifference only further confirmed that this establishment is not worthy of its name, Executive Diner. Given the numerous disappointments and the lack of concern from management, I have no intention of returning to the executive diner. In fact, I would suggest a name change for the restaurant, perhaps to something more fitting like just the diner.

It would be more appropriate given the subpar standards end of review. Look, it sounds like a diner. And like their website does, not that I was just looking at it, the website does say not your typical diner. Does it really? It does. Oh. So like, and their like logo has like a just looking at it. The website does say, not your typical diner. Does it really? It does.

Oh. So like, and their like logo has like a little tie in it. So I'm like, oh. Now it feels like a catering company. It, yeah, you know what that does? That's a good, yeah. Right? Why does that make sense?

But it does, I guess cause like caterers maybe are wearing ties or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, that me weirdly makes sense, but it's a diner. I don't know. Can I read this to you on there? It cracks me up on there about us. It says, please join us breakfast or dinner for a breath of fresh air in an industry full of corporate monotony. So maybe they're just trying to spice things up. You know, I love that. There's nothing

monotonous about getting a feather in your meal. Certainly not. As I recall with intense clarity about the time that happened to me. So- It's so funny that I was so adamant that this person did not get a feather and even the owner was like, yeah, you did. Like, yeah, I was like, boy. I feel silly. He probably did.

But hey, I haven't eaten a chicken in years. So I don't know. You wouldn't know. You don't even realize. The building looks like a fucking like silo. It's like this weird round building that it's in. Okay. This, if I walked up to this place and was like, Oh, this is the executive diner. I wouldn't be like, this is going to be the fanciest fucking diner. No offense. It's just, it looks nice in there. It's just a diner. Just the diner isn't even a clever name. So get back to work. I hope you're not in copy writing.

I'm just hungry. That made you hungry? God. Weirdly, yeah. I've just been looking at this diner and I'm like, I want some good diner food right now. I'm ready for the next one. This is from Ellie as well. It's of Clement Barbecue in San Francisco, California. And this one is a four star review. So it's a redemption by Josh. There really could not be a more generic name for this place, unless of course they dropped the Clement part of it. Just a reminder, it's called Clement Barbecue. Okay. Which like, I feel like you could say that about anything. Like, oh, it's like the Which like, I feel like you could say that about anything. Like, oh, it's like the, the Outback Steakhouse.

Well, if you got rid of Outback, then it's just a steakhouse. Like, yeah, that's what a name is. You get rid of the King, it's just a burger. Exactly. Like Burger King restaurant, now it's just a burger restaurant. I was like, yeah, well, yeah, that's what a word is and does. That's what a word is and does.

You're so right. As far as I know. You're not wrong. And to clarify, I don't know what many words As far as I know. You're not wrong. And to clarify, I don't know what many words mean. I just know kind of what they do. So that part I'm pretty confident about. Let's see.

Oh, I remember this. You'll appreciate this, Sandy. Oh, good. Probably not. It's about time. For this place, okay, there could not be a more generic name for this place. Unless of course they dropped the Clement part of it. You can't swing a soy

replica of an expired feline i'm trying to be sensitive to our animal loving vegan friends out there you know who you are on clement street you sure do you just described me i guess so yeah of course i know wait what can you repeat it though a uh a sore can you repeat the though? A, a, a sore. Can you repeat the, like just the food? Yeah, sure. Uh, you can't swing a soy replica of an expired feline on Clemens street. A dead cat. It's a dead cat, an expired feline, but it's a soy replica of one. It's not a real meat one. It's not a real dead cat.

You couldn't barbecue it. You could, but it would be not an animal. It would be soy cat. You know what I was about to say, which I think is funny that they did that. I get it now. I forgot that was a phrase though. Swinging a cat. That's a thing, right? Oh, to swing it. You can't swing a dead cat. Yes, that is a phrase. That is where I was confused. That's an idiom.

I was like, do they serve cat there? Now I, I forgot that was an idiom, so I was very confused for a moment, but- Yeah, this is like the veganized version of that idiom. an idiom, so I was very confused for a moment. But yeah, this is like the veganized version of that idiom. Yeah, I think they could do better. But I did find it funny. But I was going to say what kind of vegan would like read this if it's a review of a barbecue place and then here I fucking am hearing it. I know. So it ended up working out. Yeah, it was meant for you and it found you. It's like when the algorithm says like,

this found you today on purpose. And I'm like, no, it didn't get out of my face. What algorithm are you talking to? My algorithm is apparently like so fucked up. Every time I say something on the show, you're like, what do you even mean? But like, what it talks to you, it says, yeah, well, no, the person will talk

or we'll put this found you. Oh, and it'll be like a tarot card or something. And I'm like, get out of my face. Yeah, I get, I get those sometimes not tarot cards, but like some really weird, like too surreal that it like doesn't make any sense. Yeah. It's like does when you have a couple of you, this was a message just for you. And I'm like, really? Me and like 30,000 other people. Sure. Yeah. I see you. Okay, so this is this thing. This nonsense.

You can't swing a soy replica of an expired feline on Clement Street without hitting a Chinese bakery or dim sum takeout joint. So if they were trying to come up with a catchy name to differentiate themselves from the slew of other restaurants, they failed miserably. That being said, Clement Restaurant is my favorite, and it was no easy road, let me tell you. When I first started coming here, I thought the women who worked here hated me, and I was right. You wouldn't believe the attitude! I got to the point that I was tempted to say, I'm half Chinese, could you just be half an asshole to me? I should have a card that reads, half Chinese, good for half-off rudeness. Actually, I don't think it would matter because I've seen some serious stink-eye directed toward Asians as well.

Despite the unwarranted hostility, I continued to come here. After about a year, the women finally began to soften and actually joked about how I got the same shit every time I came. No one has ever called me a quitter. The reason I endured such abuse for so long is that I just like this stuff better than the others. That and you can get a box of it for like $10. It's enough food for three people or my fat ass. So if you have a thick skin, are cheap and have a hearty appetite, this place may be just your new favorite spot.

End of review. I love that review. I have two of those things. Guess which? What? Which things? Thick skin, are. I have two of those things. Guess which of which skins are cheap and have a hearty appetite. Um, it's a mystery for the ages. No one will ever know. Yeah. I'm not going to answer. Okay. This is another one from Stephanie and it is of the museum of prostitution dash red light secrets, uh, in Amsterdam. Is that someone's name? With a dash. Nicholas, Nicholas Museum of Prostitution dash red light secrets.

So this is in Amsterdam and it is a museum basically to, I mean, you'll understand when I read the response from owner because that is a thing I'm going to read to you but it's essentially about sex work in the red light district and it's like a Historic exhibition kind not that kind of exhibition. You know what I should stop explaining. I'll just read it. This is a three-star review by Andy called misleading name We visited this place because of the name, and boy is it misleading. It's actually a rather sad insight

into the history of the Red Light District. The trafficked people who land up there, their stories of living inside windows and small rooms which doubled up as workspaces and the like. Of course, most of the visitors were elderly, and we were the only young people in there. The entrance has a video of a very seductive lady inviting you to the place, and at the end of the visit, I was of the impression that it was misleading. There's nothing titillating about this place.

It is located in the red light street very near to Casa Rosa. Not very hard to miss, especially after sunset due to the very bright ne's end of review. So he wanted like a good time. How is that misleading at all? He wanted it to be like a fun, not sad experience, which is a wild thing to say. That's like seeing a poster for the movie Titanic and being like, man, I thought this was a journey on a lovely ship and a romantic, romantic experience. Yeah, but like- And what? Why was it sad? But like, it's like seeing a museum about the Titanic and being like, I thought this would be fun. Fair, even you know, like, yeah, even like

more so you're obvious that this is not for entertainment. It's a museum like to educate you on the history and it's like factual. I assume this place is fact. I mean, would have facts about the history and the experience. They didn't have any facts. They talked about people being trafficked there. Like, that can't be right. Anyway, here's a response from owner. It's like the fucking thing. It's right in front of you. Like, look at this. And they're like, what? That wasn't fun. It's like, what? It's actually the exact name of the- Jesus Christ. You couldn't be more specific with the name of this museum.

Wild. Okay. Here's a response. you couldn't be more specific with the name of this museum. Here's a response. Sorry to hear from you that you say it as a misleading name. We want to tell and show our visitors how life is in the Red Light District. We tell the stories of the sex workers and show the real working spaces. Was it misleading you because of the woman you see at the entrance? We really tell everybody that this is a museum and not a show. For visiting women, this is not the right address. We show you the real life in this neighborhood which can be both funny and sad. Probably you expected something else. We are very sorry for that." End of response. They like

genuinely sound confused. Like literally nobody has ever expected this to be a fun house. Yeah. I mean- It's called- Oh my God. I mean, yeah. I think they need to visit that Titanic museum in Vegas. Where everyone's drunk and taking photos with the boat. It does wonders for women specifically. If they are. For their mental health. It certainly keeps them from doing terrible things. Keeps them from needing Zoloft or Prozac.

Also keeps them alive, which is like single-handedly the most effective tool I think anyone's found. I will never get over it. You know some reviews we people bring up like I don't remember. I don't know if I'll ever forget that one. It was so insane. That one packed a punch especially because it was the same one where they said I feel like I'm in like it's like backwards world almost, like people are taking photos with the ship with like their drinks and all excited.

And it's like, does it, nobody get the memo? That's so wild. Anyway. It's like the opposite there. That's more of their vibe, this person's vibe. Yeah, they should go. You're right. They should, they would fit in right there.

The 4D Titanic exhibit. Okay, this is from Andy, uh, M. They, them who says before you ask, no, I was not taking a final exam. I was in fact proctoring a final exam. So I don't know if that's worse or better. So, um, that's very fun. And this is called the lion and cheetah park in Zimbabwe. And it's exactly two-star.

Exactly what I expect, where I expected us to go after that last one. Where else? We are on a world tour. World tour! Where else would Andy be trip-advisoring during an exam than Zimbabwe? Of course. Yeah. So this is the two-star view of Lion and Cheetah Park. There was not even a single cheetah at this park, so clearly the name was misleading. There were plenty of lions though, but it was still very disappointing. No cheetahs at Cheetah Park.

End of review. They just started writing Cheetar, Cheetar Park. Whatever. Anyway, there's no cheetahs or cheetahs. And that can't be right though, right? I can answer this question. Can you? Look, here I am all episode.

I've been making bold assumptions and throw like every episode just throwing shit out. But this time I'm like, you know, I can't say for sure. This is true or not, you know? Yeah, it's hard to say. This one alone doesn't mean Alexander's expertise. He has like wide and varied expertise. This is just the one. Sex work in the red light district. Right, check.

What else? I have been there. It was a lot smaller than I realize. I have not been there. I mean, maybe this was just a bad, I just like walked through and was like, wait, that was it. Maybe I just went down the wrong direction in hindsight, but, um, it was like something I stumbled upon, you know? Yeah. I mean, sure. That's what they all say.

Um, okay. Yeah. Now I realize that sounds like I'm making excuses for being there. I am not. Um, I think it was just more of like a, Oh, and me being, uh, this was, I was like, what, 19 maybe I lived a very sheltered Catholic life. You're the only one in the world who genuinely said I stumbled into the red light district by accident. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. I don't doubt it. That's exactly what happened. Yeah.

Oh, there's this part of that. Anyway, I was there once. I knew all about it. So yeah. Well, you've never been to Zimbabwe. So that's why you can't speak on it. That's why I can't speak on that. But there are zebras in this park.

So, and now this is the one where I'm going to have you guess the business. But no cheaters. Okay. Oh yeah. Okay. I was like, wait, is there, is there a game? Yeah. There is a game now. It's starting right now.

This is also from Andy. You have to guess the business, or the name of the business, I guess, since it's so misleading. This is a review, oh! Their username has the word Cincinnati in it, so maybe a local pal. Is that a hint?

No. What's this review of? I can't tell you. I would see if I can get you with that. I have a two-year-old. I can't fall for your tricks. I just arrived LAX last night and they were closed after midnight, which they declined to mention. Here's the email I sent to them. I arrived at 12.30pm last night, which you would have known as I sent my flight data to you, see our email trail, and updates as possible on my 6.5 hour flight from JFK to LAX. I was shocked to find out that you closed at midnight.

At a minimum, your name was misleading. Also, no communication. I can find ever suggested the see our email trail and your own website. I had to scramble at 1 a.m. to find Ground Transport in LA. It is hard for me to express how poorly you have handled this, from your misleading name to charging for pickups after 10 p.m. to closing at midnight.

If you had any grace, you would offer to pay the premium I incurred by a last minute rental with a company that bothers to be open for their customers. As it is, I doubt you will even respond to this message. End of review with no response. Hmm. And so I'm the problem is I'm a little confused because I thought that the name might have to do with it being misleading

because of it not being open, but I can't think of anything. I'm assuming there's a rental car company. So you're correct on that front. I'm going to say thrifty or budget. Is it one of those? It's like, okay, so it's not like money related. Nope. What the heck? You are on the right track. Let me just put it that way. It's not hurts because it sounds like this hurts whatever happened here. That's not misleading. They knew. They were like, we got to name ourselves something rough so that the standard is fucking low.

I was hoping there'd be a joke along the lines of, um, like more like or something, or I was hoping they would say, um, I was always like, I wouldn't forget about you, but you forgot about me and it would be Alamo. I was like, where are we going? That is what my brain went to. Man, I don't know if I know it. I don't know. What is it?

It's 24 hour rent a car. Okay. That's on the, that's two on the nose. You know, my brain is like, let's get like weird with it. I know you got a little, uh, you got a weird with it, which is fine as well. I gave this reviewer too much credit. I mean, no offense to them, I suppose, but I should have expected something that that simple.

I can't wait for this one. This is another one from Andy where you guess the business. This one's a five star though. I love, love love LOVE this store. For years I never went here because the name was misleading. The first time I visited though, I fell in love. They have such a great variety of items, and the prices can't be beat. This location is new, the store is spotless, everything is in its place, the price tags and sales signs are easy to read, and the associates are super nice and friendly. Even though everyone was wearing a mask and

keeping the correct suggested social distance, you can see the smiles in their eyes and hear the helpfulness in their voices. End of review. Hmm, they didn't give me enough. I don't know what kind of place this is, you know? I know, this one's hard. For years I never went to this place because the name was misleading. And I- Yeah. To be quite frank with you, I think even when you hear it, you might be like, what? Cause that's how I feel. Like, what do you mean? Like what did you think it was? The only type of thing I think is how, how our mother doesn't like potbelly because she saw that as a negative, but even though it's about a stove, but just because.

Well, she also doesn't like the rusty bucket because it's a rust. Why would you want to eat out of a rusty? I kind of tend to agree with that one. That one, yeah. Not quite as appetizing. But this is like, I'm thinking, is this like a craft store? It is. I don't know why that made sense to me.

The way it was- How did you know that? I don't know. The way it was described as like the service was described, just made me think craft store. Um, but I'm trying to go through them and it's like names, uh, Joanne's Michaels, um, which like, um, and then, you got it. Christina, why am I blanking on the one that I'm trying to come up with? That's probably the right answer. Yeah, what's it called?

The hobby lobby. That's right. Because it's not a hobby store. Yeah, you know, like, is that why maybe? But I guess, but like, isn't hobby, like you like build little things? I guess, but like when I think of a hobby shop, I think like model planes and I think-

Model trains, yeah. Model trains and I think model cars. Right, I guess you don't think like model planes and I think model trains and I think model cars. Right, I guess you don't think like he is risen in Curl's empty font, that's fair. Yeah, yeah. So like, I wouldn't be surprised if there were reviews the opposite way of people being disappointed going to Hobby Lobby and not having any of their hobby

needs met. And finding so much wicker furniture. Yeah, exactly. And nothing to do with model trains. Whose hobby is wicker furniture? Oh, a lot of people, by the way. So back off, enthusiasts. I'm just saying, that's what I'm quoting. I'm quoting these imaginary people I made up in my head. I wish you'd quit yelling at me. Yeah, I know. I get it. I mean, I'm with you. I didn't get it at first, but you're right. A hobby shop does have a different connotation. So I can see why that would be like, oh, I'll skip it until you kind of learn what it is. Um, let's see. This is from Brad. He, him. I'm gonna, I w this wasn't

part of the game, but for fun, I'm just going to do the game again. Thank goodness. This is of a beach. Okay. Or view of a beach. Went to this beach expecting rundown buildings and homeless transients. Instead was unpleasantly surprised to find a very well-developed neighborhood full of McMansions instead of the gritty slum I was expecting. Very disappointed, wouldn't go back. End of review. What? It's, this one is bonker.

I mean, I don't know. I don't like that review. Um, this is of a neighborhood? I'm confused. It's of a is bonkers. I mean, I don't like that review. Um, this is of a neighborhood. I'm confused. It's a beach. A beach. I mean, not beach. I mean, literally just a beach.

Um, but he also said didn't neighborhood. So yeah, you're on. You're not wrong. Venice. I have no idea. That's not true. I like, is it a beach I know? No.

Oh, then I don't. It's called poverty beach. Oh, it's like so on the nose. I just thought why not play the't. It's called Poverty Beach. Oh. It's like so on the nose, I just thought, why not play the game? It's called Poverty Beach. I wonder if anyone who does know it, it's in New Jersey. I wonder if anyone who does know it was like,

I know what that is. Yeah, maybe they were thinking Slaughter Beach. Is that one too? It is in Delaware, I believe. Oh, yikes. Yeah, I mean, Em grew up near a place called Slaughter Pen and I was like, that's so alarming. Like what?

Oh, you mean their bedroom? Like that was like Slaughter Pen. That's where it's like, shh. No, it's like, apparently that's a very common name. I don't know. Get out of my Slaughter Pen, Linda. Slaughter Pen Farm. Like, wow, cool.

That's not a misleading name though, because it sounds like that's where it was coming from. I was going to say. It's actually pretty- I wish it were, but I don't think- I know, I know. Of all things. Oh, if I had to pick one, it wouldn't have been that. Let's see. This is also from Brad. This is like the opposite of the challenge a little bit. You'll see, it's a one-star review. And I'm not going to do the game this time. Well actually I am. I love it. We should just always do a game. I just think it's fun. I don't know. Whatever. I love it. I love it. In from out of town, recommended by a friend. Honestly the worst manicure I've ever received. No hand soak, no cuticle care, no hand massage, had naked nails and requested a gel

manicure, got some gel polish and that was about it paid for a manicure That I didn't quite receive guess they lived up to their name and a review Shitty nails Disappointment man, I'm like to on the note, you know, like I got to try to be subtle about it But I'm only going to like you don't, like I got to try to be subtle about it, but I'm only going to like You don't though. What? You don't have to be subtle about it.

Poor nails, bad nails. I mean, it's literally called the worst salon ever. That's the name of it. Yeah, the worst salon ever. I would never have said that. Yeah, I know. That's why you said I'm going to be subtle. I said, please don't. You're right. I was never have said that. Yeah, I know. That's why you said I'm gonna be subtle.

I said, please don't. You're right. I was too subtle with bad nails. With poor nails. Like that wasn't even clear enough. But I will say that the worst salon ever owner responded. Thanks so much for your- I just said, it's in the name.

Oh yeah, we fucking told you. Thanks so much for your review, but honestly, you sound like an idiot. First of all... Jesus! Also, like they put the name so they put like... Like for example, hey Helen, thanks so much for your review, but honestly you sound like an idiot. First of all, we don't do water manicures. Why? I'm so glad you asked, because your nail blade is most water permeable surface of the entire nail unit, which basically means your gel won't last as long if they're soaked in water.

Second of all, I look back at our shop footage to see that you did indeed receive cuticle care with a cuticle bit and nippers. Third of all, we do not advertise hand massages, therefore we do not provide them. Long story short, your friend that recommended you knows what's up, and you're clearly out of touch with modern nail care procedures and the idea of reading service descriptions before booking them. And if we're all being completely honest here, you're not really our speed. Hashtag stay cunty, babe.

And... What? That was finale of a... You know what it sounds like? I think Nicholas Greek is diversifying his businesses. I think he's onto nail salons. Or they use the same cheap ass customer service company to respond to their online... Their social media presence.

Imagine if you hire someone to do that so you don't have to worry about it. And you don't have to stress. And after a month get an email or personal or some a friend is like hey Have you get sued? Probably and you look like what the fuck like someone I'm paying like first for libel wild. Yeah No, I feel like it's always whenever it's like the the wildest responses. it's always like the actual business owner yes it is you know they have to them they're like I don't they don't give a shit yeah which is a skill I wish to have and yet I hope I don't harness it in that way you know when I do ever get that feeling I I wish you would harness

it in a way though because I would I think that would be really a powerful move for you. Yeah. And you know what? Even as I'm saying this, I'm realizing, I think that these owners that pretend like they don't give a shit, if they really didn't, I don't think they would say all this. So I don't know what I'm even fucking talking about. Yeah, they for sure give a shit,

but like they just want you to think they really don't. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's a, it's a little sad. Um, I kind of want to make the show notes of this episode, stay, hashtag stay country babe. But then like people won't know what it means to the last two minutes of the episode, which is like kind of fun, but probably annoying. I'm not sure. And, and you know, I'm going to stay out of it. I'm glad you brought that up so that if anyone was like,

why did Sandy put this as the thing? No, there's proof that it was you. Yeah. Damn, I've cornered myself again. Yeah. Gonna go now. Bye. Oh, you're done?

Yeah. Oh, good. I was like, what are we waiting for? Okay, this was fun. I actually really enjoyed that Yeah. Yeah. Oh good. I was like, what are we waiting for? Okay. This was fun I actually really enjoyed that challenge. Yeah. Thanks everyone Come see us live You said finale and I said, wow, how does he know I meant finale to that long response? I see. Okay. It was also the finale. It was our series finale

No our season finale as well And I don't think that's fair of you to do because cause look, I used the word finale maybe three or four times this episode. Oh, I see. So to assume that meant that it was the end of the episode was not. Words mean something. How many times do I have to tell you?

That's not even, you know what? Apparently twice. Thanks everyone. Come see us live, beachfusani.com. We have a list of 12 tour dates and guess what Portland is sold out So excited to see you all there that's gonna be so fun Um, and then yeah, the rest of the tickets are still available. So get yours ASAP can't wait to see you all Patreon calm Beach to Sandy if you want to see our video episodes or listen to the episodes ad free

Um, I only blew my nose twice this episode on camera, forgetting, so. Everyone who watched it is like, you mean 16 times? Nice try. Can't even lie to you guys anymore. Also, I believe in this, but we have new merch. We have new merch coming out. Oh shit, you're right.

I forgot to mention that. We should have mentioned that at the top. Happy summer, we have merch. Summer merch, a really cute beach tote bag. Oh my God, it's so cute. That I have sitting next to me. So I'm gonna lift it up for all you video people. Oh, this is like QVC.

It's like QVC. Oh, my QVC era. Why does it look like I got, okay. This is a beach tote. Like Val would say. You know, this is, oh God. Mercury, do you need a teleprompter? I'm not good at QVC presenting.

It has so much crap in it. It has mercury glass. So it's like making a lot of noise. Oh yeah, it's a, your cur, mercurial, it's a cerebral experience holding this bag. It fits so many of my lovely items, like all my birds. I'm calling the CEO of QVC to have you fired.

And I think it looks really good. It's gonna look great on your beach with your beautiful towels of silk. I don't know what QVC people buy. It's so cute. Okay, buy our bag. It's kind of heavy. I put a bunch of crap in here to make it fluffed up.

I didn't know we could sell negative amounts of bags, but somehow we've done it. For the first time ever, we've sold negative amounts of merchandise. Manufacturers are like, uh-uh, uh-uh. Take it back. We're taking them back and we're still charging them. Take it back. We don't want it. And we have some other beachy stuff. So go check it out. Beach2Sandy.store.

Yeah, store. Is that right? That's right. Yes, that's right. Oh my gosh. Okay. Thank you all for listening. Love you all.

See you live places and talk to you next week. Hashtag stay cunty, babe. Beach 2 Sandy, water too wet is a forever dog production. Hosted and produced by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. Edited by Marco Padilla. Covered by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. Edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura.

Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Zilio, Alex Ramsey and Brett Bowham. and bread poem.