Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 297: Between You And Us

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly.

This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? It's hard to make time for the things that keep you healthy, but being consistent with self-care is like working a muscle. And when life gets crazy, that muscle keeps you strong. Therapy is the ultimate self-care, and BetterHelp makes it easy to get started with affordable online sessions you can do from anywhere. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more. That's betterH-E-L-P.com.

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. I'm a big crook. Hello and welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm Christine. And I am Zandy. Yeah. Welcome to the Cool Kids Club.

What are we discussing today? Oh, thank you. We are discussing a little bit of everything because we're doing a between you and us. Haven't you missed it, everyone? Some of you have. Some of you have, and I have and I have proof okay so don't pretend like you aren't excited yeah and before people start talking

about why we're doing this instead of a normal episode okay yeah we see the reddit well I don't but other people do it wasn't bad it wasn't bad people were wondering why we released a I wasn't feeling well for our stream and then we released a live episode instead of a regular episode. Now we're doing Between You and Us. So I wanted to kind of acknowledge some things because yeah, people were wondering what's going on with me. And it's not about you. We're getting a divorce and I don't want you to blame yourselves. It's only a little bit your fault. Yeah, I was gonna say if it's anyone's fault that we end this podcast, we're just gonna blame the listeners, don't worry. But that's not what's happening, Jesus. Okay.

No, I, yeah, people were talking about how I had talked about a potential Cushing's diagnosis a few years ago, unfortunately, and which would mean I have a pituitary tumor on my pituitary gland, that has not been, I don't know. There's been no- There's no confirmation. There's no advancement of that diagnosis. Yeah. Multiple doctors said that's a possibility, including one this like a couple months ago,

but still don't know. But I'm doing a lot better physically, especially. However, mental health has taken quite a steep decline as of late Which has led to me stop stopping my stream and trying to just focus on getting through tour Which has been lovely and a very nice thing and then just getting these episodes out and I Have since started seeing a psychiatrist. I have a therapist. I'm in good hands, I have a great support network, Christiana has been very accommodating. And it's as usual.

And yeah, so I'm okay. And I have a lot of, you know, privilege being able to get all this help that I need and being able to afford insurance, it's very expensive in order to help me. So I am on the right track, things are okay. I just haven't been doing well lately. And it's just one of those, you know, stretches of time

that things have not been going well, but I think I'm very optimistic going forward. So all is good. It's funny. It's funny. Cause I think I forget that people, it's like, I can understand why people are curious or just like concerned and want to know, you know what I mean?

Like, and I feel like- I opened that door. That's the one thing I wanna say is like, I definitely opened that door. The problem is I opened it a little bit and then didn't fully open it and then didn't fully close. Yeah. Right, exactly, exactly.

So it's been open and people are kind of peeking in, thinking, what's going on in there? We would like to know, because you opened the door a little bit. So no one's said that, that it's like my fault. But it is. I have opened the door, because I thought that would be helpful for me mentally,

in order to be open and try this little openness about it. And it just, lately lately I have not been feeling comfortable enough to talk about the full last three years because there's been a lot more that's gone on that I didn't expect at that time when I first opened that door. So I'm doing a lot better now and I feel like I'm getting closer to figuring things out definitely. But yeah, I opened that door. So I'm not like upset or anything I just wanted to make sure people knew because they were asking and I want to make sure that like I Made it clear so that people didn't have to guess and didn't feel the need to wonder what's going on

Yeah, so even though we're falling apart at the seams We are doing it between you and us because with the tour and everything. We're just behind It's not like we're doing this from our deathbed or anything. And we thought, oh shit, we never, and like, you know, it's us. We forgot to prepare before we went on tour and then I was traveling and then it's just been a lot. And so we decided to do a bit.

You also had a tour before the tour and you also have a baby. Right, well yeah. There is so much going on here. I've developed like a new autoimmune disease this year. Well, not a disease, but like a eczema thing that flares up every time I'm stressed. So I'm just constantly in hives, basically.

So anyway, the point being, we are doing this not because we're falling apart. The podcast is falling apart. We are just behind. So we'll get back on it. We'll get back on track. I feel like we've done the bare minimum, at least. At least, the bare minimum.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just want to make sure we get shows out. And because we have Between You and Us emails from years and years of doing this, we were like, oh, maybe it would just be a smoother transition to do this week of Between You and Us. We haven't done one in a while. And even new ones from our patrons,

because we've actually started accepting them from our current patrons. So I actually have all patrons. Yes, we have like a special submission form for Patreon. So we figured we might as well use some of that content for fun and do an episode instead of, you know, prep a whole separate theme. And we have the calendar ready for Patreon for August to start submitting those reviews. So we'll be back on track.

But yeah, we didn't want you to... They should see that by this point. That should be up. So yeah, that's true. I know. But that by it by this point. That should be up. So yeah, that's true I know but no, no, that's true. I was a regular folks that that should be up Yeah, and so, you know whoever just don't don't worry you have I can promise you all Individually have enough problems on your plate. So don't don't worry. The podcast is not going anywhere. We're we're rocking and rolling over here We're just having one of those summers where we're struggling. We have tour and we weren't fully prepared and we had other things

we've been worrying about personally. So, yeah, but we're good. I just want to get that out there. So thank you all for listening. Bye. See you next week. I promise we have an episode. Do you want me to go first? I'm really excited about this because I went through my folder

and sometimes I'll pop in and I'll just save emails. I've told you this before. Just like on the off chance, we'll do another Between You and Us at some point. So I have a whole folder of things that I've found over the years. And so it's delightful because I go in and I get to see, oh my God,

these are just as funny as they were three years ago. I forgot about this. So hopefully I don't do any repeats. Sometimes I forget to take them out of the folder. So I apologize. But I'm very excited about this. The first review I have is a review from Sam, she, her who sent it in. By the way, between you and us, if you're not familiar is where we read reviews that you all send in that you find on the internet for us just for fun. Like we instituted this because we realized, oh, we'll never cover everything. For example, Sam sent me a review here

of a mug cake recipe. And like, you know, in what universe would we find this if we didn't have boots on the ground, like Sam, you know, looking. So Sam says, I stumbled across this review when I was in desperate need for a chocolatey dessert and decided a cake in a mug was needed alright so here is the review it's from allrecipes.com and it's four stars so this one we're starting off with a positive review here goes why are all the one stars complaining about the texture it's a

microwave mug cake. If you're microwaving a baked good that means it's probably 9pm on a Tuesday and you've spent at least 15 to 45 minutes total crying in the last 6 hours and you're whining about the texture being kind of mid? You think you're gonna pull an angel food miracle out of your damn microwave? Ingrates. Anyway, great recipe, but if your microwave is a powerful beast like mine, you're gonna want to put it in for one minute tops or it'll burn. Also highly endorse the addition of chocolate chips. Three people found this helpful.

I wish more people did. I feel a little attacked, but I do too. I don't feel attacked at all. I'm like, yeah, if I put something in the microwave and it turns out tasting like chocolate, that's fine. I wouldn't be one to complain, but the description felt very accurate of, yeah. Oh yeah. Called out is certainly a feeling that I feel. Yeah. Yikes. Um, but yeah, no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do this. Oh my gosh. The recipe things,

people come on, come like usually the recipe is fine. It's consider the fact that maybe you're not doing things fully right or like yeah it's a fucking microwave I don't remember the challenge we did where it was like reviews or somebody change the recipe and complain those are so good but it's scary how often they are like how often it's like too many it's way too many easy one is too many, but then you get people who are like like there was one I think that goes around the internet that someone's like yeah, like I use Pepsi for this Instead of coke and it was like for so I don't even know what it was of and it turned out not tasting well

And the comment underneath was there's neither Pepsi nor Coke in this recipe It was something like what are you even talking about there's so many of those people what are you putting in these recipes? I don't know. It's wild My first one here was sent in by Ellie and this is of a Dollar Tree in LA. Two stars. I've been in this dollar tree while it was being robbed not once not twice but three times. Anyway I wish they still carried the Purina Dental Life dental sticks for dogs. End of review. Was this not used for your challenge of finding places where they were? And I don't think so because this sounds so familiar, but this was just from September,

like this past September, which feels so too like too recent for it to be have used before, but it sounded super familiar. So maybe I don't know. Maybe it's just a shared experience that everyone's having at the Family Dollar. I think this is a completely different because I don't remember it. I literally I read this review and I thought because I don't remember it be I remember I Literally, I read this review and I thought I feel like I've used this before but then I realized I think I just read a Different dollar store review where someone was talking about it being robbed multiple times. There were many so which yeah

Wow, the the the concern about the dentistics. That's what made it. At the end you're like, hey look. I get it. If you're gonna risk your life going into a store, you might as well be able to leave with the correct product for your dog's teeth. So true. And I always say that. Okay.

It's because the people are coming in robbing and taking all of those. That's what they're robbing at Boulder. Oh shit, all of the inventory is gone. It's like that show Good Girls. They had a big heist and they took all the dentistics out of the inventory is gone. It's like that show Good Girls. They had a big heist and they took all the dentistics out of the dollar store and sold them on the black market. So here's a review of the Bath and Body Works

Crocs collaboration. Huh? That's a thing? Do you attach your little hand sanitizers to it or something? Oh, that's- You know, when I think of Bath and Body Works, I think of those little hand sanitizers to it or something? You know, when I think of Bath and Body Works, I think of those little hand sanitizers. I'm such a sucker for Bath and Body Works.

I go in there and I'm like, oh, I didn't realize I needed something to hold my hand sanitizer on my dog's leash specifically. You know, that's dog shaped. And I'm like, what is? Scented gibbets? What, this is hilarious. I sent you a photo,

it looks like an April Fool's joke a little bit, because it's a Bath and Body Works croc with the blue stripe, like the kind of plaid ombre stripes, or I'm sorry, plaid, and then it has gibets of like a giant candle, like they're big tub candles, some other like glaringly gold designs

that don't seem to relate to anything and then like little hand sanitizer gibbet. Yeah, so four metallic and four scented gibbets charms and it says parentheses, yes, scented. Like I guess marketing was like, you have to be very clear. That's what we're known for. I guess. I mean, hey, I don't know if you have to be very clear. That's what we're known for. Wow. I guess Um, I mean, hey, I don't know if you want your croc smelling good

I've never thought of crocs smelling badly, but maybe they do sometimes. I mean, I I guess I I don't know this is a one-star view though because How is that possible? How is it possible? Great question. Um the way Hannah wrote, love the show, you guys almost make me wish I had a brother, which is hilarious. After this episode she'll be like, nevermind. Just kidding.

Here is a one star review of the sensational collab between Bath and Body Works, as I like to call them, BBW and the Crocs Corporation. One star called No Thanks. And this is by a reviewer called Over It Too. What? $70 Crocs with charms for children on them? Oof.

This was an anticipated release with buildup? Again, no thanks. BBW, you're getting ridiculous This is almost worse than all your agenda pushing like pride or black or Asian or whatever nonsense Just make a good product and one your adult customers want I'm not gonna be your walking advertisement while looking like a clown Pause I don't like that. They're like this is what you need to focus on adult customers Why it's like bed whatever it's called bath and body works was built on the I don't like that they're like, this is what you need to focus on what adult customers want. It's like Bed Bath, whatever it's called Bath and Body Works was built on the backs of middle

schoolers like me who saved all their money to buy Japanese cherry blossom lotion. Okay. And they're acting like they have to wear these, like they have to buy these. This feels like someone who is a very big QVC fan who buys everything that QVC does yes And so with businesses they have this attachment add this to their color Yeah, even though they don't want it feels very similar because why are you getting upset at something that no one's forcing you to buy? I like nobody cares whether you buy and also like 99.999% of people who visit a bath and body works are not gonna purchase this so

99% of people who visit a bath and body works are not going to purchase this. So you're fine. Like, don't worry. I don't need that. I don't need that many crocs. Bath and body works crocs. The next wave of shoe wear. Okay. It says, and I have crocs.

I love them, but I don't wear them in public. I don't decorate them because I'm an adult. First of all, that should be a sin also to buy a pair of Crocs and be like, I would never put something on them. It's like, grow up. Yeah, come on. Come on. And I didn't pay $70 and wouldn't pay $70 for them.

I also love the blue gingham pattern in general, but not on my feet! That already looks clownish. Big big fail on this one, BBW. On a slightly separate note regarding all your products, stop repacking. I'm sure you all have fun confusing us and playing games with your customers, but we hate it. Listen to your customers. You want to change the name? Packaging? Fine. But List also sold under these cents, and List the 10 other cents you've sold them under before. You'd still sell the product because we want old cents you take away, but lie to us about it when it comes back. Your advertising team is crap. Can't come up with anything new, so copy, paste, repackage, rename, and angry your customers.

Not smart. Do better. If you haven't noticed noticed your customers are dropping like flies and different. They're dying like what come on chill This is so dramatic. I and I don't I saw actually I did see at Kenwood town center the other day I saw a gurney leaving the building and there was a pair of blue King of crocs sticking out at the show and I thought what is that all about and now I'm finally putting the pieces together Finally yeah, you weren't supposed to put fragrance on your feet. It's toxic. Is that what that is? That's what this person's so upset about I'd say I knew what this I think this person just needs to have a good distance from a bath and body works for Give it like a week or something. Cause it sounds like they go in every day and they just get everything that's

new. I think they need to pivot to like a Yankee candle or something, you know, like somewhere that's just like more dependable, like not going to do some quirky stuff, like something with an outlet, something where you can just kind of depend on the same sense every year. Yeah, because man, I think this person has made bath and body works their personality in a way,

and so they're upset that- But they're not happy about it. Well, no. They don't seem to like much at all about their own personality. Yeah, which, so they're projecting it onto the bath, I have no idea what's going on, but it sounds like they are disappointed

that they can't continue their obsession or something. This is wild. It sounds like they're disappointed that they were forced to buy a pair of blue gingham crocs and wear them all over town, like some sort of like stockade, like punishment, for being a Bath and Body Works customer. Oh my goodness.

This episode is brought to you by Home Chef. In the summer, you probably find yourself spending a lot more money eating out. I know I do or doing food delivery or takeout because it's just hard to keep up. And it happens to the best of us. But with Home Chef, you can save time and money while still getting that dining out feeling.

Home Chef provides fresh ingredients and chef-designed recipes conveniently delivered to your doorstep to simplify your cooking experience. I think my favorite thing about Home Chef is that you're able to choose between what works for you. So you could get a classic meal kit with pre-portioned ingredients and easy instructions, or you could get already pre-chopped, pre-prepared ingredients that you just kind of toss into the pan and cook up and they're all really fresh but you don't have to do all the chopping and it's amazing because I made dinner last week two nights in a row and it took me probably a third of the time it usually takes me to cook dinner so I was delighted. Home Chef has over 30 options a week and serves a variety of dietary needs. I know Zandi has been

ordering vegan options from their website and they have so many. And I've been getting some extra snacks and fun surprises for Leona to put in her lunchbox. I just love Home Chef. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals plus free dessert for life. And of course, free shipping on your first box.

Go to homechef.com slash beach2sandi. That's homechef.com slash beach2sandi for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. Homechef.com slash beach to sandy. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants his last parachute?

I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit Please play responsibly. Okay, my next one. This was sent in by Claire, she her, who wrote in about a little different because it's it's a there's this comedian and podcaster, Adam Buxton, who does multimedia live shows called Bug and Claire says they're mainly to geek out about

Cool music videos, but he also reads out YouTube slash internet comments. So on one of the shows. Yeah, he read There's a Google review and so Claire sent me a picture and there's like a stage that he's on and like a big Big like projector in the back, um, with a Google review. So I'm going to read the Google review. Yeah, this would be our exactly. So this is, this is kind of like what we do, but visually. So with like on stage with visually, so I can read it and steal it for ourselves. You know, it's great. No, I, it sounds like he does a lot of cool

wait till they hear about our Crocs collab then they'll really then they'll then they'll be sorry okay here's a one-star review I don't know what this is of it they keep it hidden here we go food did not come on time an hour and 45 minutes late food is not as Chinese standard and really bad smell. It seems food been cooked few days before. Just heat up and serve. Worst Chinese takeaway. End of review.

And then there's an owner response, ready? Why are you still alive? My birthday wish is that you were killed in a car crash. End of response. Oh my God, what? My birthday wish is that you were killed in a car crash and the response Don't isn't that insane Probably one of the most shocking reviews you've ever read to me So I'm glad someone else found it for me My birthday wish was that you'd be killed that's crazy

Like that's so it's one of those it's so specific was that you were killed. That's crazy. Like that's so, it's one of those, it's so specific and that you think, oh man, maybe they really did wish that when they blew up the candles, you know? No, literally, I think they literally did. I think they're actually shocked that this person hasn't dropped dead at the Kenwood Town Center.

Oh my God, that's like too funny. Like, oh my psychic said I wouldn't hear from you anymore. I used a potion and she said you'd be dead by now. Oh my god, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Wild, wild. Why are you still alive is probably the most upsetting and craziest and funniest thing to respond to any consumer complaint.

Like anybody complains, like this Crocs person, why are you still alive? That's crazy. Probably the rudest thing you can say to a person. Yeah Anyway, I have a review from Madeline. This is of a Place called froggy land. Oh, I don't know it but I will want to know it or maybe I won't after this Well, let's go to Croatia and find out because it's in Croatia and it's a quirky exhibit displaying stuffed frogs and human scenarios like playing sports and sitting in class.

It's a museum. Sounds great. Yeah. Wearing Crocs maybe. Maybe wearing Crocs. Now the Froggyland Crocs collab, I would be all over. Here we go. This is a one-star review.

I can't believe I'm doing this to myself and to everyone else. One star. Took all the frogs, put them in a frog museum. I don't know how the tune goes. You're doing great. Just to see them. I don't know the tune.

Took all the frogs, put them in a frog museum. Charge all the people a dollar and a half to see them. I don't know the tune. This is Big Gale with Taxi, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's supposed to be. I can tell. If I can tell, that says something. Put them in a frog museum. That's my favorite part. This was either the greatest experience of our lives or the worst pile of split ever. End of review. This is also in Split Croatia, sorry. Oh, I was like, oh, that's... I kind of took the wind out of the sails with the typo. Oh, it's not a typo. Okay. Yeah, no, it's not a typo. It's in fact a layered joke because now we've got the big yellow taxi joke

we've got the Joke of was this amazing or terrible nobody knows and then we've got the joke of a little pun You know a little Croatian pun thrown in there honestly one of the best Combos that that's a that's a triple triple whammy Yeah, it's like the Czech Republic usually gets all the good puns So it's about time Croatia gets like its hand on the ball here. Yeah Anyway, I I don't know how to sing that song because I really as you know, probably Alexander

I cannot stand that song. I've like I mean both version of the remake the the remake Yeah, counting crows or something. Yeah counting crows I think and it came out when we were in middle school, high school, and I remember just being like, get it away, I could not stand that fucking song, and so I apologize for my shoddy performance, but. That's okay. I think I was, hey, if I could pick up on that,

I think that means you did pretty well. Took all the frogs, put them in Frog Museum. How does it go next? Chart the people, the dollar, yeah, we'll have to see them. That sounds good. Don't it always seem to go. Yeah, they should have added that.

I didn't know that part. Till it's gone. Okay. They paved froggy land. They paved the swamp and put the frogs in a museum. Anyway, it's fine. Your turn. Swampy Croatia, yeah. Watch their bees.

No, they took them out of the swamps. Oh, they took the, they paved the swamp. Oh, that's because that's where the frogs lived. I see, I see. Now they're in split Croatia. Now they're in split Croatia. Okay. I'm going to read a review.

This was sent in by Brandy. This is of the Amtrak Auto Train Which is I think the train that you put your car on. But I could be wrong. I don't know. It's an Amtrak train. Let's just do that. One star. Auto train sucks now. Bring back the smoking car. Half of the experience for me was congregating in the smoking car. People from all different walks of life swapping stories. I would bring a flask and spend my entire time down there. A smoke break in South Carolina is not cutting it.

And who wants to drink if you can't smoke? I'd almost rather just get molested at the airport. Why can't I just pay more to be on a dedicated smoking car? Either that or come out with smoking sleepers. PC Nazis strike again. I've seen this movie before. It ends with people like me living in the sewers and eating rat burgers. The rest of you folks will likely be listening to show tunes and wiping your asses with seashells.

Mark my words, fat people, they're coming for you next. End of review. What? I have no Christina this is the most unhinged this is from over nine years ago put that person on a list I would like to think that they already are they must be there's no way this is wild I don't even know where to begin with it I don't know if I want to begin with it I'm upset I mean okay imagine the fucking Outrage if they started charging you more to be on a smoking car first of all

So like I think getting rid of it is probably ups for them a better I know they would still be a one-star review if yeah I mean if he was getting charged to be in the smoking heart I Don't imagine that most people who were with this person in the smoking cart swapping stories while he drinks out of a flask and complains about the PC police and about rat burgers. Yeah. I feel like the people in there probably weren't like, oh yeah we missed that too. No, I agree and also like it just doesn't

make sense. The PC Nazis, I don't think you know what politically correct and not. You know, like it just, these like buzzwords thrown out there just to be like, I don't know, it's so stupid. And then it doesn't make sense. What is that, I'd rather get molested at the airport? I think they're implying that TSA, I think, is what they're saying.

I don't think it was anything deeper than that, but it's not clever, funny, whatever. It's just, it's stupid. No, it's really not. It's really not, can we, is there any way we can move him to the sewer with the rest of oh shit? I wasn't oh no No, send him to Froggy land. Oh my god. I'm gonna put him in froggy land No, okay froggy land charge people a dollar and a half to see him. Froggy land deserves better. No one is paying Froggy land is sacred. How dare I?

I'm gonna put them in the family dollar that keeps getting robbed. This person charged the people a dollar and a half to see him. Yeah, I feel like this person managed to just like fit everything offensive like into this one big like. It's actually really impressive. They should just combine forces with Croc's person and say like oh all that Asian stuff or whatever they said. That was also deeply offensive. This is, yeah, this is a rough start. I think like it almost feels like a call to their fellow, to their fellow, I don't even wanna put a label on it, their fellow problematic folks,

like let's all meet in the sewers. I've learned a great rat burger recipe. It's like nobody is asking you to do that. You're the only one bringing that up. Yeah. They you're the only one. It sounds almost like you want to be eating a rapper. Well, it's this victimhood of being like, hey, look,

I'm going to be a victim soon. I'm going to be a victim soon. It's been nine years. I have a feeling that they're still not a victim. Yeah, I have a feeling they're doing just fine in life right now. I just want to go to that froggy museum. I'm sorry, that's all I can think about right now.

That's all I can think about. So this is from Brittany She Her, and this is a review of an amazing brewery that delivers to 44 states, okay. Is this like a quiz? And what? Is this like a quiz? Like, am I supposed to guess what it is?

Oh no, it's Minakwa Brewing Company. Oh, okay. And this is a one-star review of Minakwa Brewing Company, but I guess basically giving them a shout out because they have, for example, the Love Wins Fruited Sour and the Dark Brandon Espresso Stout. Oh, I saw that served on the auto train,

on the Amtrak auto train. I thought it was. No, that was the Let's Go Brandon. Oh, I mixed them up. What is the Dark Brandon referencing? It's like, I think that was the whole thing that Biden is embracing the Brandon thing, and he was, I don't know.

They're calling it Biden's alter ego, Dark Brandon. That's the Brandon thing and like he was, I don't know. They're calling it Biden's alter ego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the whole thing. And it was like when he did something like positive. Understood. Well, it does feature Joseph Biden with red laser eyes. So that's what it normally, yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Okay.

So Brittany also wrote, well, by the way, this was sent in, most of mine were sent in like years ago. This one was sent in 14 days ago. So it's very relevant. And she wrote, stay safe and fucking vote y'all and drink tasty brews from Wisconsin if you are legal slash want a drink. So here's a one star review by Dylan and it comes with a delightful owner response.

I was shunned when I asked a question regarding the name of one of their beers. I was wondering how they could be so bold and forward in their views as a public establishment relying on their patron's money. Do any of these people understand what business? That's a public? What does that mean?

Are they publicly traded? Even then, I don't understand. That's not a thing You're making like you don't understand how the world works They asked me to leave their establishment I was very polite and there was no hostility from my end yet I was told I needed to leave their place. They do not want business They want people who agree with their political views to spend money at their establishment It's a shame that I was unable to enjoy my time at this brewery because of how I was treated. I would be

careful when deciding to visit this place. End of review. Okay. Here's a response from Managua Brewing Company in Madison. You forgot to write about how you brought your truck nuts up to the bar and put them in a woman's beer, a retaliation for her refusing to talk to you on account of her being allergic to the three coats of Axe body spray you are wearing and oh my gosh oh it's is that like a go-to move for this person like the truck that seems so how does one thing to do that your truck nuts do you did you uninstall them from your car? Or did you just have an extra pair in the car seat?

I wouldn't know how easy those are to take off, but I would hope easy because. Well, for someone who doesn't understand what a public business is, yeah, they probably have to come with only two-step directions. Someone who has truck nuts, like, alone is such a bizarre thing. Why are you putting genitalia on your truck?

I find that so strange. It's like, whatever, you do you. I don't care. But the fact that you were like, I was so polite, why would you even be bold enough to write a review if you behaved in this way? You're really trying to convince people and yourself, I was perfectly nice.

Maybe they believe that. Maybe they think that. Maybe they think that all of their actions were justified. But then why didn't they address the truck nuts thing? They were like oh I did nothing wrong. Let's not think about what I did to that person who's there. Because they're probably like they deserved it. Like I don't know they probably were just like why would I even it's so strange. I don't know. I don't want to get into these people's minds. We've gotten some strange people today. Man, that one, that is wild. That is...

I do love that they didn't delete the review nor did they respond with like an update. They were like, oh, guess I'll just leave it here. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey, no, too basic. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no.

What about, hello handsome? Ugh, who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with

you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4pm late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express.

Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. I have something from Stacey and this starts with an article and the article is titled crack.com the story of the rogue Burger King in Pittsburgh. What? So basically, I'm going to try to summarize it as best I can. There was a Burger King in Pittsburgh that wasn't- Went rogue. Yes, but it was a Burger King.

And then people started showing up to this Burger King, that was always a Burger King, and they started to serve things a little differently. The taste was different. They were like, huh, this doesn't really taste like Burger King. They also started to like, the fries started to come in things like Dixie cups. Drinks were in plain Styrofoam cups. Burgers were wrapped in tin foil or sandwich paper.

So it was like not what Burger King normally does. So there were also rumors that employees had been seen buying burger buns at a grocery store. Oh no, that's not part of your job description. Yeah, so there was like all this weird stuff happening at this Burger King. And then it turned out that Burger King had revoked their franchise months ago. I knew it.

Because of food quality complaints. And so they reopened, but they kept all the signage. They kept the uniforms. And they were basically a rogue Burger King. And they even quietly changed the printout on the receipt to say South Side Burgers, but they still had Burger King and they even quietly changed the printout on the receipt to say Southside Burgers but they still had Burger King signs, uniforms and posters so like customers were very confused assuming it was a Burger King.

Probably because the receipts like well I don't know. And they started being like they were started running out of different things you know like out of most of their menu items because they weren't getting them from Burger King. Yeah, good luck making like chicken. What do they make those chicken? Chicken, I don't know. Chicken fries. Oh, yeah. Yeah, things like that. I'm sure when I'm pretty quick. Good luck figuring out how to make chicken fries from like the Kroger frozen foods, you know. It's like good luck. That sounds like a losing game, but wow, this is fascinating and apparently they uh but

they had some positive things where you could get a whopper with as many patties as you wanted um yeah but whopper was spelled without the h yeah exactly um but yeah so everything was like really strange then suddenly it was posted on reddit like someone posted on reddit about it and then the local news picked it up and yeah, I think they ended up so it went viral and then what who sent this in again sorry Stacey had said that like that location is now listed on the Burger King website so they must have gotten the franchise back or maybe a new owner in there or something. Burger King was like the only thing worse than a shitty place representing our brand is a shitty place unguarded and unsupervised pretending to represent our brand. We got to at least have some oversight here. Yeah so I

think that's might be what happened. So kind of wild. But I have a couple reviews here. Here we go. Here's a one-star review. The doors legit are always locked. You can never go inside the restaurant. Only drive-thru. And they haven't had french fries since 1820. You'll have better luck hitting the dumpster out back.

End of review but yeah that's where they threw all the expired Burger King actual burger I will say I just read out back is one word so dumpster outback like out the house maybe nearby we can't have two rogue restaurants in one no no okay everybody relax for can't handle it here's one more one star. Their heat was broken, food cold, manager was rude and busted in the door when my husband was rinsing his dentures off. Just horrible. End of review. Yeah, I mean you're not helping. Sorry. No offense. Just like, yeah, the first time I read that I'm like, oh who's rinsing? Oh, oh you, your husband? I thought

it was like, oh the manager was rinsing his denture and I was like, oh no Oh, even the clientele have gone rogue. I guess you got to do that somewhere. I don't know. I guess so I will say I know nothing how dentures work. So I don't want to judge too much I'm like the the whole the whole idea of a Place being so bad that Burger King refuses to even let them, like I presume had some business otherwise like they wouldn't still be functioning. So it's like, oh, we're, we're going to just pretend like we're allowed to serve all this

food and now there's nobody giving oversight. Who knows what's in this food? Oh, it's, um, the article also had some very specific things in there that were, that's... The article also had some very specific things in there that were kind of rough. So it even mentioned like, they were accused of serving an unsuspecting father and his four-year-old son, a cheeseburger entirely covered in ants.

So, and that's the thing is, but they like posted it as a Burger King. Look what Burger King did. And it was like not even a Burger King. It was a fake burger, like a rogue Burger King. The fuck? This is what Burger King was trying to avoid, right? And then like, it's just,

that's why they needed the oversight back. Oh my gosh. If you look this up, so this article is from June of 2020. So I assume that- This is like- By Alex Branton. The prodigal son is back, you know? The prodigal son that went off

and did some really bad things and came back. But yeah, so Pittsburgh had to deal with that. So, oh, I forgot a funny thing that I wanted to mention. Their Coke machine was dispensing Pepsi. I loved that. That was on Reddit. The person was like, yeah, like it's actually Pepsi. It's so fucking weird.

That's probably honestly, which sounds really fucked up, but seriously part of me thinks that might've been the most egregious business thing they did for Bert. You know what I mean? Like, I bet that's the thing that like the corporate got most pissed off about, like ants, whatever. But like, you're serving. We can't make Coca-Cola mad.

We gotta be, yeah. No, yeah, like that is a really big no-no. Man, Alexander, that feels like, We gotta know. Yeah, like that is a really big no-no man Senator that feels like it feels like What was that show the walking dead like an abandoned Burger King? But like an abandoned Burger King that somebody's like here I'll turn on a grill and figure it out go get some buns, you know, like We'll just we'll just make it work. Yeah

Wow, anyway. All right, so I have one left here. This is a redemption. And Kimberly said, please, the subject of Kimberly's email is please read Clownhorn review. And so naturally. Of course you have to click on that. I had no agency whatsoever.

I had no choice. So Kimberly gives us this little backstory, which I love. My 12 year old son asked for a clown horn. So I was perusing Amazon for obviously clown horns. What an age we live in by the way, where you can just peruse. Oh, you want a clown horn? Let's go get you one.

It'll be here tomorrow. We have multiple options for clown horns that we can get you ASAP. Any and all. Options, colors, Amazing. octaves of honk. OK, here's a review. And then Kimberly just wrote, love you bye. OK, so this is a five star review of metal clown horn, silver slash black, one size.

I'm going to send you a picture of this bad boy. Cause I mean, it's exactly what you think, but like for some reason seeing it as a product on a Amazon page is just so strange to me. There's like something very unsettling about it. Oh gosh, what does that, what the heck? Right, it feels almost like a sterile medical, it looks like something from like the 18,

like the 18th like the the the Victorian era It's a classic clown horn, you know, it is classic for sure for sure that you know that honk is good Oh my god, so the standard is 998 the extra-large is 41 92. Well, how much bigger is that? You don't know literally four times bigger extra-large is Does it literally four times bigger? Extra large is, does it say? I mean premium materials. Okay, then in that case, it makes sense. So in that case.

It adds excitement and, unlike cheap and flimsy plastic horns, our metal clown horn delivers a satisfyingly loud and fun noise and can probably be used as a weapon. That's just me adding that on there. Yeah, so the extra large is 10 inches by 10 inches by four inches. That doesn't even make sense. I don't know what that means.

10 inches by, how is that possible? It doesn't make any sense. 10 by 10, what the fuck does this form look like? And it's like not correct because it's the same fucking shape as the other one Okay Here's the review it's five stars. It's a redemption and This is a verified purchase and they did order the standard size and the title is the perfect horn to honk with in public and the reviewers

Benjamin P. What's the perfect horn to honk with in private? The extra large? Maybe you gotta go look for that review. I don't think you can just get that for free here. Okay. Yeah, the extra large is for at home use only. Anytime I travel into the clown world, I bring my horn with me.

I blow my horn as I walk past NPCs wearing masks or wearing lipstick over their beard. One day I had to honk in a Walmart parking lot on my way in, but then I heard a faint honk in the distance, and it certainly wasn't mine. I heard it again, and stopped dead in my tracks. I had to find this brazen honker. As I approached, I spotted a man wielding a horn just like mine. I honked. Then he honked. We decided to go into the Walmart and honk our horns together. It was only then that I was no longer in fear of the clown world.

Finally someone had my back for when my horn went down and I had to find cover from the normies to repair it. Someone was going to keep honking even when I couldn't. I never before felt such camaraderie. We even made a boy with pigtails begin to cry from all our honking. It was marvelous. Its parents looked defeated. As we left the Walmart, we realized we had parked on opposite sides of the lot. We shook hands and honked once more, then turned around and went our separate ways. And friend, if you're seeing this, I think you accidentally put your honey mustard in my cart. My family doesn't eat honey mustard. Overall, five stars would purchase again end of review no

Are people okay? No people need to get a hobby what they I mean I think this is their another a new ha a different hobby just writing weird we need to get a little more Is that what this is this feels like you're horn fan fiction. Like weird. It sure does. And the fact that this person actually actively purchased this product is wild, right? Like, cause like obviously it's ridiculous, but like what did you actually do with this? You know what I mean?

Like how much of it is reality? They went to the Walmart parking lot, honked it in their car and was like, okay, I don't wanna actually do this in public, and then went home. I'll just write about it. Yeah, yeah. I can't quite figure out, I mean,

I'm looking up some of these other products that Benjamin has purchased and like nothing is relevant to the clown world as far as I can tell. No clown nose. Mostly just parts for cars. A clown car? Oh. Oh, that's what the extra large horn is for.

You just mount it on top of your clown car. I mean, the one you sent me looks like it would be like on a weird bike or a tricycle. It does, yeah, yeah, yeah. That feels very chilling when you say that to me. I don't appreciate it. So I have one more to. So here's a here's a here's an actual redemption, though.

This was sent in by Mary She Her. This is of a place called Tacos Mi Nacho in Connecticut. Sure. 30 years ago, I came into this world, This is of a place called Tacos Mi Nacho in Connecticut. Sure. 30 years ago I came into this world, found out tonight how many years I truly wasted eating anywhere that's not here. I actually felt guilty and somewhat unworthy continuing to masticate that perfectly wrapped burrito. I write this with tears in my eyes and want to thank each and every staff member that has the honor to work there. Thank you. I will be making this excursion as many times as I can. Five stars. End of review. I think you mean pilgrimage is what it's called when you are religiously devoted to a particular

place. I feel like I need to make my own pig pilgrimage. To the taco place? Tacos Mi Nacho. I mean, did you hear that review? Are you Googling it? Yeah, because I'm going to Connecticut soon, so I should figure out where it is. Meriden, Connecticut, it looks like. Hey, I've been there.

Nice. Oh man, well, it does have actually very, very good reviews. I will be in Connecticut today, actually. Oh, are you? Yeah. Interesting. Okay, just something to consider. Well, I'm so glad you're making the pilgrimage, I mean, visit to the tacos Mi Nacho, which

the reason I laughed earlier is there's this Mexican food place in Connecticut that the name is not correct. Like it's called like Azul Pero or something, like blue dog. And I'm like, no, but you would say like Pero, like you don't put the adjective up front and it drives me nuts. And I feel like maybe in my brain, I'm obviously blowing that out of proportion,

but every time I see it, I'm like, come on guys, has nobody told you like that's not how Spanish works? You know, like at the very least, can you like properly name it? Yeah, I see. In the language you're trying to pretend you are? It's for all the people that don't speak Spanish, and like me, who are just like, yeah, Mexican.

Well yeah, like nobody would have noticed, right? It's just like, to me, I was like, that just feels like kind of a slap in the face to people who do speak Spanish and we're like really Like yeah, I know. Yeah true Anyway, that's not the name of it. So I'm not gonna actually give the name of it But so then I won't even know I'll accidentally go to that place without realizing it because I'm like, yeah Well, maybe you should take some Somewhat Rosetta Stone, okay. So yeah, that's what you're doing. Yeah, we'll you should take some... Some what?

Rosetta Stone. Okay, is that what you're doing? Yeah, will do, I should, I should. Oh man. Take your Rosetta Stone. Oh, the stone that I have that has all those languages on it? Well, you stole it.

Yeah, but I can't fucking read it, and it's so annoying. How am I gonna translate it if I don't understand what it is? It's so stupid. Isn't it like magical? That's what Dan Brown told me. I have, let's just say like my mental health has seriously declined since I stole that thing. That's weird. It's so strange.

Well, that was the same day you stole all those bones from the nun, from the dead nuns. Oh, well, I didn't even tell you what I did with those. Are they... Never mind. We'll talk about that later. Okay, thanks everyone! Thanks! Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet is a ForeverDog production, hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. Cover art by Courtney Aventura.

Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. ForeverDog Productions is Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.