Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 325: Reviews of Art Classes

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

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With the Fizz loyalty program you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know for texting and stuff and if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan you're not with Fizz. Switch today conditions apply details at fizz.ca Welcome to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello everyone, welcome to Beach to See Any Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sibling, co-host Stina.

I'm your sibling, co-host Xander. Wait, Xand, Stina. I'm your sibling co-host Zander. Wait, Zandy, Stina, Zander? I'm trying to make it a, I'm trying to, I'm playing with it. Oh, with your own name. So I can keep saying Zandy? Yeah, this is just a me thing. Please get out of my journey, okay? My name's Zandy, I'm the other sibling co-host.

Welcome to our show, where we read shitty reviews for you and also have patrons read shitty reviews or whatever they have in their voicemails. So it's just been really fun. So thanks everyone for sending those in. Our patrons have also become our secret labor force because they go out. It's not so secret anymore

because we're always trying to get people to sign up I know sign up for our secret labor for the secrets out We want you to join our labor force where there is no union and you pay us Yeah, this feels very dystopian, but our patreon has been so much fun, especially now that we have like a bunch of new people joining Because I guess we just have mentioned it more I guess and so it's really fun and I feel kind of bad because we got a ton of emails and I feel like there were a bunch of new submitters and I haven't even gotten to half the emails yet for for our reviews today but to those of you who did send them in don't worry we still save them we have them for you

know any future bonuses or things like that. So they don't go anywhere. But we don't play favorites. I just click randomly. I don't know. I just am like, Oh, let me scroll here. Oh, there's the correct number episode. Let me click that email. I follow my spiritual intuition. That's why yours are so bad. Always. Okay. So whoever I picked today, now you know how Zandy feels. Yeah.

So who do you have one from? Well, let's call them out first thing. I guess I'll say our theme today is art classes. Yeah. Alexander just wants to get them in the stocks already. Yeah. Our theme was from Carly. It's art classes. Unless Alexander corrects me, then it's not from Carly.

It's from Carly's partner who used's Carly's patreon like last time maybe I Didn't so that's the things maybe I didn't get to that email Yeah, you didn't get a bar pretty damn high and now I'm like shit I stumbled on that email that had that no Nobody better get used to us knowing the correct information and saying it It's just like it feels like a new wave of like, freshness is a foot in our podcast. That's just, please cut that out. That was weird.

What do you mean a new wave of freshness, Christiana? No, that's an ad. That's how we should advertise. We should put big billboards across the country. A new wave of freshness. Beach too sandy, water too wet. Listen now on Spotify. You're an idiot. Me? A new wave of freshness. to the sand you water too wet listen now on Spotify me a new wave of freshness hang on that was a good point do you think Spotify would

pay for this they would they would pay for the billboard or for well if it said listen on Spotify I'm like maybe they'd pay for half yeah that's why I said Spotify there cuz I'm like that's the only hope that we have affording a billboard okay and then the other thing that we have affording a billboard. Okay. And then the other thing is we have a challenge. I had a challenge today from Hannah, which was to find reviews, misusing the phrase needless to say, which is one of our favorite tropes on this show. Needles to say needless to say. I've gotten that a couple of times.

I'm excited to see people say needless to say when it was not Absolutely needful to say needful to say yes, it was an on a need-to-know basis that I needed to know Now that you want to bully people this is from Alyssa Nice, which is good because it is also the same same name as the person who? Tricked you out of your holographic snorlax. It is. Once upon a time. That's why. Who do you think I was talking to when I said idiot? Wasn't this person?

It wasn't Alyssa with a Y. Phew. She, her, are Alyssa's pronouns here, and she sent a review of a paint and party location. This is more like a paint and sip situation, but I was not picky about some shoots like that about I think I might have one of those two That is what we've done an episode on those like recently Really? I think that's okay. There's so many so yeah, I'm ready for

Here we go one star and this is Really silly because it's a review by a page called The Bros Tech Repair. Oh! Uh huh. One star. This was the worst time of my life. I would die than go here.

They don't know how to paint at all. End of review. And now here's the response from Owner. Well I can think of many, many things worse in someone's life besides being creative with friends in a low-key, relaxed atmosphere unlike anything else in the area, enjoying a drink with friends and having pride in accomplishing your own work of art at your own pace. I think Rather Die is a bit drastic. No one is ever forced to paint and party. And unfortunately, factitious made up reviews

from malicious exes, whom have never been inside the studio, are not helpful to anyone on Google trying to gain an honest and better understanding of this business. Honest feedback is appreciated, but this review is not that. Wishing you all the best, thanks. End of response. Honest feedback is appreciated, but this review is not that.

Wishing you all the best. Thanks!" End of response. The thanks was like, needless to say. Wow, okay. I love a good, well, I don't like the revenge reviewing, but I like the call out of the revenge. And to do it with your own. I don't even know. Maybe the tech repair was a cover, a front. You never know. Cause they only have one review. Yeah. So maybe this owner just made that whole thing up to like,

get us to think that it was an actual X. Yeah. And it worked. Yeah, it did work. I'm in. But it's funny that they're like, no one there knows how to paint, but it's not the point you paint. I know that they're instructors kind of, but okay, this is just my way of saying, I've never done one of these before. So I don't really know, but if you- I'm sure we discussed it at length.

Yeah, but if you don't have like that sense of accomplishment and feel good about painting and stuff, it's kind of your fault, right? Like the reviewers. Well, it's probably your parents fall if we're really getting to the root of it. Jesus Maybe it might be their parents fall too. Well, no Okay, it's probably our parents to that fault When I say the collective society as a whole. Oh, I thought you meant like no our parents. I meant the parents of the parents. Oh, and their parents. It's a cycle. It's a lineage. I did an ancestral wound healing last night, but we'll get into that

another day. It sounds like it worked. I'm like still blaming our parents for other people not feeling proud of their accomplishments. I don't think our ancestors deserve healing or wait, what is it you're healing about? I'm healing myself. Fuck them. They're all dead. Good. Just kidding. Sorry.

No. Okay. I'll take over. Fuck them. The whole point was to, you know, okay, I told you it's a story for another day. Okay. Okay. Stop trying to get me to talk about all of my meditation work.

You are always trying to get me to share more stories about my spiritual growth. We'll talk about that in our ancestral healing episode. Okay. That's right. Yeah, I can't wait. My first one here is from Stephanie Who sent in a review? uh from rate my professors.com of uh A professor in the art history department

um Whose name is poop senior Excuse me p o o p senior s e n i o r That's the professor. That's the professor? That's the professor, supposedly the professor's name. Here's the five star review. Okay.

Never took this class, but his name is Poop. What more do you need? End of review. I mean... It's a real page. I don't know if this is a real professor. I doubt it. This poor person. I wonder if someone,

you know, when you're like trying to make an account on a website and then you accidentally go into like the administrator section, you're like, no, no, sorry, I've treaded into employees only. This isn't my place. Maybe they were doing that. And somebody was like, I'm making a username. It's poop senior because I'm a senior in college. Cristina, that seems weirdly believable. Like weirdly, like what I would expect to happen. I don't know.

Thank you. Like you sign up as a student, but you accidentally sign up as a professor. Yeah. And it like makes a temporary page or something. And then people start reviewing it because you wrote poop. I don't know. sign up as a professor. Yeah. And it makes a temporary page or something. And then people start reviewing it because you wrote poop. I don't know. I mean, the only two reviews were like, great name. Oh, OK.

So it was obviously not an established situation. But hey, they both said they got A pluses. And they would take it again, the class. You know what? What more do you need? That's it, actually. Yeah. I don't think anything else.

Yeah, yeah. By the way, I forgot to mention, sorry, when I googled poop senior and Rutgers I did just do that. Oh, did you get Rutgers best place to poop on campus? No, I got senior poop and signs you should be concerned. Thanks for asking. Okay.

Wait, should I be concerned? Okay, well, sorry. be concerned? Okay. Absolutely. Sorry. Oh, God. But again, we do need to put that on the back burner. Yeah. But there are some recommendations. Your spiritual journey is not part of this right now. For anyone at Rutgers or anyone visiting Rutgers, Scott Hall, right in the auditorium, they said. Right in the middle.

To establish some dominance or something. I think that's right. Oh, God. Wow. No one has a good answer. Oh. In the middle to establish some dominance or something. I think that's right Wow, this is no one has a good answer Oh go to the art department go to the art department, especially if you're a senior The livy student center second floor unisex bathroom is it seems to be a good one I know all the good spots at a you because I Had Crohn's disease there. Yeah. This is from Io, he, him. And Io did send a lot of Rate My Professor reviews and had clearly made a very deliberate effort

to find art classes, not like paint and sip, but then of course I took the one hands-on art studio review he sent. So I will get to another Rate My Professor later, but this is of hands-on art studio review he sent so I will get to another write my professor later but this is of hands on art studio and this is a two star review by Joan we went up to paint a ceramic piece the girl had a personality like zucchini squash would not make eye contact when she talked she acted like she hated us and everyone there I thought her nose pierced was cute and so was she if she just smiled

She does not work with the public everyone else there were delightful end of review I'm I'm in love. I don't know about You heard personality like a zucchini squash and you went tell me more. I like zucchini squash. Sue me. Shouldn't work with. I have. It's amazing how like little people think like how how little it takes for someone to say that someone shouldn't be working with the public. You know? Oh, right. Yeah.

Like if you just aren't smiling and aren't like super outgoing and friendly, uh-huh, you shouldn't work with the public. Get a job that you're happy with or something, you know, people complain. Yeah, because the public is so happy and you need to match our energy, you know? Yeah, it's like hmm. Because everything's so good outside. Why aren't you happy inside this art studio? I don't get it. When you're trapped in here. Yeah. It's an hourly employee. Probably a hair. I just love that she mentioned the nose piercing. But she but but to me it felt very backhanded in like I did judge that nose piercing but it

would have been cute if she smiled more. You know what I mean? Like I would have accepted her bodily piercing but it would have been cute if she smiled more you know what I mean like I would have accepted her bodily Autonomy and decisions if she would have been nicer to me And it's like wait, that's not really how that's supposed to work should smile more. Oh No one should say that Okay, my next one was sent in by Brooke and This is of wine and Brooks and send some reviews for our next episode on rivers That one got him good, oh that was good. I like that. This is of wine and design in Newport News, Virginia. Oh

What a stupid name for a city Port News, Virginia. Oh, what a stupid name for a city. Em lived. I mean. That's where Em was mayor and founded it and named it. Named it, wow. That makes it even worse. After my town.

You mean our town? I was the lead in that play, you guys. Alexander's like, this is a sleeper agent trigger. Watch this, our town. It worked. I was the lead in the play. I knew she'd do that. I mean, that is why I brought it up,

because that's the only time I've seen it. Okay. Same. Yeah, I've been meaning to see it again. I need to let, you know, like, when you have bad memories of something, no, no, no. Alexander! You want to like retake it and have a positive connotation?

I recently, in a moment of panic, I think I was live somewhere. Oh my God, I was live. Oh my God, it was so embarrassing. I was live. I was on stage and I talked about the time that Chris England dropped the table behind me right as I forgot my lines. Yeah. And how he saved me by accident,

by just being clumsy and dropping a table and I could pretend I didn't forget my lines Yeah, good times. I remember I forgot my lines. I think is why he dropped it. Oh, yeah Here my lines, this is a one-star review of wine and design. This is by Natalie I'd rate zero stars if I could I will never recommend this place or George Campbell the owner. He is so unbelievably unprofessional but let me explain why. At this point the night of our class isn't even my main issue anymore but let me say how it was a very disappointing experience for all four of

us. Well after a few weeks had gone by and I'd been thinking about leaving a review in the hopes that they would recognize the areas of opportunity to fix, I did. I posted it to their Facebook page. It wasn't mean, it wasn't hateful, but it was short and sweet and to the point of how we were extremely disappointed. And what do you think is gonna happen? Nothing good ever happens on Facebook, that's true. Except my crow lovers group where people post pictures of gifts that crows leave them. That sounds like a pretty good one. Oh, and our-

It's an important cop- Our Patreon-only Facebook group. Oh, and the one we're both in where we pretend to be ants. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Well, do not leave a bad review on their Facebook page. Why, you ask? Well, it seems that George himself review on their Facebook page. Why you ask? Well, it seems that George himself will go on to private Facebook groups to slander you.

The most professional retaliation of a does not recommend review, right? I legit have proof of him trying to post anonymously on a group called, are we dating the same girl? What? I received a text about the post early in the morning and it didn't even make sense to me. It had two older pictures of me, what he could gather off my private Facebook page, and stated that I went on a trip with him and then nothing. Said where I worked and worked out, but it was incorrect, so I showed my boyfriend and he found the group and knew the admin.

So we called, found out it was a George- How small is Newport News? I mean, I know it's small. Em has told me about it, but like, this- no wonder Em loves gossip. Like, this really feels like something Em was actively involved in. Probably the admin here who was like- I mean, seriously, Em runs that group, I promise you. So we called, found out it was a George Campbell who posted it. Hmm? I didn't recognize the name. Looked him up on Facebook, still not ringing a bell.

So the guy said he would do more digging. My boyfriend came to me- Oh my God, so admin see who the anonymous poster in the- Yeah. Apparently. That's scary. I mean, not that I ever post. I don't think I do,

because we've had anonymous posters in our Facebook groups and I don't- I bet you could check. I bet we could go through like a log. Okay what we would never do that I won't but if you hear the printer in the background I'm not printing out everybody's history whose pictures out on your wall with a big she posts all the time Oh, I'm sorry, Charissa. Oh, Charissa, good. Oh, I'm sorry, Charissa. Charissa just knows that I, Charissa sees that I react, and so I started, not Charissa, Facebook sees, Meta sees that I react to her posts and then so they keep coming. Oh no.

So I'm like, I know. Trouble. It's just like I've created a monster. Yeah, is that, oh, is that who you posted about in the, are we dating the same girl group? Yeah, and Emma's that who you posted about in the are we dating the same girl? Yeah, and I was like wait a minute. I think Sandy knows her from your other Not the one about ants the one about your patreon Okay, this is getting so convoluted. Okay, and I'm like not even halfway through

This is what happens on siblings start speaking. I know my boyfriend came to me with more information and asked about paint nights Immediately, I knew I said holy shit, it's George from Wine and Design. I was shocked. I couldn't believe a man who called himself a professional and business owner would take a negative review about someone's experience, literally days before, and try to dig up dirt about them. I mean, first off, good luck, but what in the actual heck?

Why wouldn't he try to make it better? Why wouldn't he try to apologize and say, we are here to ensure you have a good time and we are sorry about your experience. Let us make it better. But no, he wants to try to be sneaky. Like I don't have friends and we don't know people. And come at me.

Not only this, but I found him on Facebook and tried to confront him about it. What did he do? He made it so he was unavailable to send messages to on Facebook Messenger and then blocked my profile. I was furious. I was annoyed and upset before, but now I'm mad, really mad. I call my boyfriend's mom, my friend, who went that night,

and my two best friends to tell them all what he had done. We all went back onto their Facebook page to leave more reviews. And you know the moms are like, finally, something I can get on Facebook. Vigilante justice on Facebook. I'm in. Exactly. Yes. Well, three of us were able to leave them and bump them from five stars to 4.1 stars,

but it gets better. He didn't stop there. My boyfriend's mom sent the screenshot I sent her about my breast, breastage. Ah, Freud. I got him on the line. Sorry, he's on the silent line. My boyfriend's mom sent the screenshot I sent her about my message to George calling him out on what he did and she sent him a Facebook message. It went through just like mine did but probably 30 minutes or so it changed at the bottom and read, unavailable for messages on her chat and he also blocked her account. Way to take accountability, dude

Now it's like oh her mom messaged me well now I think I'm gonna change my tune You know, it's not it's a mother-in-law actually or the like no the brother the boyfriend's mother So I mean like it's not like now he's he's gonna say yeah I screwed up, you know, yeah My friend who went with me and another both messaged me saying they couldn't find where to leave a review. So I searched on Facebook for their business page. What do you know?

They blocked me. I told my friends how to find the review area and guess what? He took down the review section and he blocked everyone who had made a bad review earlier in the day. Y'all, I can't make this crap up. I've contacted the director of the franchise

and will be speaking to her shortly. This is all so mind-boggling. If you want a good paint night experience called Early Birds in Pequawson, Virginia, the owners are amazing and the classes are helpful fun and you get some good wine. Do better George, do a lot better. End of review. Yeah. I just, it's like I had so many things to say, but then by the end I was like, they all fled because it's been so long since the beginning. Yeah, I barely remember where we started. I mean, did we ever even hear the original complaints or is it just a saga? We have no idea what happened, but like, that's the thing is 12.

Wait till Zuck, wait till Zuck cares about this. Oh no, let's hope not. He's never going to believe how bad things have gotten on Facebook. Yeah, on his platform, no way. On Meta? He wouldn't believe it. Yeah, 12, 12 five-star reviews of this place, only three one-stars and nothing in between, but mostly positive, but supposedly.

It's like one of those toxic thing, codependent things that Facebook does where it's like you're You think you're on the right side, but you're just fueling the fire somewhere and you know it deep down You're fueling some fire and now you're getting everyone else involved. You love the drama They love it everybody gets involved and now he's like underwater because he's like shit My company now has all these negative reviews. Of course he's going to block you and take off the reviews. That's the funny thing. I was like, why are you so mad about this person blocking you when you sent multiple people to send messages about this?

Like your random friend group is all cyberbullying him now for all you know. I mean, you don't know what they're saying. But if this guy did it, yeah, I think, uh, I'm glad the franchise is going to hopefully be involved in stuff. Shared his like her private information on another group to figure out who she was. Like that's, I love that it was all wrong, but I know I love that too. Correct. What if it's just a completely different person? It was not even

related. It was her Finsta. She found her Finsta. And she's like, it's my decoy page for people like you. Oh my god. Yep. I just don't know, man. I just think, yeah, I mean, this is the least surprising turn of events.

She's acting like this is so shocking. And I'm like, no, this is just a tale as old as time at this point. So true. Meal kits often market themselves as an easy meal prep solution but often disappoint with complicated over long recipes that aren't worth the effort and sometimes take at least for me twice as long as the actual instructions say but fortunately Home Chef knows that struggle and they deliver fresh delicious meal kits that respect your time. Because we're in that dreaded drudge of winter here, Home Chef is currently delivering new hearty recipes and your favorite comfort foods

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Homechef.com slash beachjuicandy must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert for life. Homechef.com slash Beach Two Sandy must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. This is from Sarah She Her and it's of an art studio in Anchorage. And she said she had to look hard to find negative reviews but she certainly found one. This is a one-star review by Della. Stay well away from this company. I was burdened with the awful experience of talking to some female at this

business. Sorry. Hey I get it buddy it's tough. I struggle with it too. Burdened by talking to females. I struggle to talk to females as well. The females, those of the female persuasion are. I feel that these psychiatrists that I do have on the private line really need to come in and say something at one of these points. I think Carl Jung might take this one over, but we'll see. I was burdened with the awful experience

of talking to some female at this business, and she was literally a rude cow. Oh, wait, that's... Sorry, that's shocking. I know. It'll upend your whole worldview that cows actually have employment now. Is this so... wait, this is a lot. This isn't in that, like, evangelical museum, right? No, but I immediately thought of that same fucking thing.

That racist cow statue Billy Graham Billy Graham's estate yeah and it talks in this like that was like a fucking voice I assume we did something from that for our episode right because that was a that was a live show that we talked about that I thought you were asking about the live shows like how can you not remember? No, that's why I remember it but yeah, there was a racist cow that I Thought maybe that's what was happening and it got an internship Literally talking to a rude cow I'm like So when someone says they were literally talking to a rude cow, I'm like... I've heard of one.

Well, it's not that the cow... Okay, yeah. Actually, she was exceedingly polite, but... Yeah, it's not that the cow was saying rude things. It was... Yeah. Never mind. It was a portrayal of a stereotype in a very rude way to...

Yes, that's what it is. Everyone else. I have a feeling this person isn't thinking that way. No, she was literally a rude cow. Okay. I asked questions as a novice collage student. Oh my god It is called it's supposed to be college, but it does say collage I really thought that it made sense. I thought I really didn't mean to read it on purpose the typo But I it kind of works. So they're a novice collage, college student, novice college student. I get, maybe not.

Maybe they're literally a collage. Cause I feel like most college students, is there a such thing as a novice or not novice, like, is that just a freshman? I don't know. So this is a pottery, like a pottery place. And I think what they're saying is I'm a novice at pottery and a college student. Oh.

Got it. You'll see, we'll get into it. I'll just, yeah. I asked questions as a novice collage student trying to create a piece for a final project. This woman was surely laughed at me and tried to belittle me as I asked for guidance in a world I knew not of. Do not go here if you want help on making pottery.

I had to keep telling her that I was more than happy to pay someone to guide me through this, but she was a rude, self-righteous clay sucker, for lack of a better word. End of review. Pfft. For lack of a better word. You was clay sucker because there wasn't a better word.

Needless to say, she was a total clay sucker. This person walked in and was like, I need someone to guide me. Can you stand behind me and hold my hands? And there's this great movie called Ghost. I don't know if you've seen it, but maybe we could try to do that. Actually, I'd prefer if you haven't seen it.

I'm just gonna play this song real quick it's called unchanged melody So what I'm gonna say is there is a response from owner I've hungered for your touch Okay, sorry I was referring with I was conferring with them Sigmund. Okay, so here is a response from owner. Also, yeah, I mean, ClaySucker is just next level. I just had to give it its own little shout out. Response from owner.

It was fun talking with you two. I had to laugh. I get this kind of conversation all the time. Today, it struck me as funny. Some people presume they can achieve a college level clay assignment in an hour on the wheel. This is not an instant gratitude art form. Pottery takes as much time to learn as playing a musical instrument, and it takes patience, practice, and persistence. You might want to try using poly clay for your next project.

Can you imagine? That is, that's a harsh line. It's a low blow, dude. Even for you, clay sucker. I wish you good luck in your class and a healthy dose of appreciation for the potters in the world. No, that's not what she's gonna have now.

She's gonna have a serious chip on her shoulder about potters, get it? She's gonna have a serious, as am I maybe, you know? Anyway. I wish you good luck in your class and a healthy dose of appreciation for the potters in the world who have put in the time it takes to learn this challenging art form.

The other conversation I get a lot of is, why can't I come in and make a huge muddy mess and then walk away leaving it for someone else to clean up after me? So thank you for all the laughter. Some days are just like this. End of response. Some days. So true. I, um, wow. So this person just like really sucked and they're mad about it. Right. Which one? The reviewer, sorry. Was that kind of...

Oh, yeah, I think so. They're just like bad at what they're... at pottery and they felt they didn't get enough guidance, but it's actually... No. No. No, I don't think so. I think what happened is she just called and was like, I just wanted to ask... Or maybe she went in, but she basically said like, I'm supposed to create something for my art class.

That's what that's about. Okay, that's why I was confused about the college, doing a college, they expect to be able to do a college thing. Sorry, a college student, god damn it, a college student trying to create a piece for a final project. I don't know why, I forgot about that. Wait, and so.

And so she went to an art studio. Oh, I'm so dumb, okay, not dumb. A play studio. I, and so and so she went to an art studio. Okay, not play studio I'm just catching up just a little slow at times and it's so on the slow on the Slow on the slow on the it's okay. We'll think we'll get there So that's what I'm saying is I think that like this lady was just like you can't do that Who do you think you are? I am. This isn't some college class.

This is high art. Yeah. But I don't know. It seems like maybe both of them were not a good fit for one another either way. Let's just put it that way. I mean, it is. Politely as I can.

It is kind of funny to be like, I was going to pay if they would have given me. They rejected. Yeah. I just remember that. because they were like, I would have paid. It's like, but if they don't do that, they don't do that. Like they don't. Oh yeah. You know what? Fair point. If, if it's like, just like an, a clay studio where if you, you are a potter yourself, you can go in. That's totally different. I feel like that is saying, Hey, somebody tell me how to do this. Like,

I know there's like, I know there's a place near me that has woodworking and like you can go in and do woodworking. Like it's a space for people like an open. Yeah. But you gotta know how to woodwork. You can't just go in there and suddenly know how to woodwork unless you sign up for their like actual classes to sign to like do something. But you can't just be like, Hey, teach me how to woodwork. Cause they're like, what kind of maybe what's happening?

Sounds like that. It's like an art space for people, but it's not necessarily meant to like teach you how to do things. Yeah. Wow. So I imagine that's probably where the confused and this lady pro like clearly it was one of those days and she was pushed like one review too far. It's like, I can't have it. And then she's like, and to all the people who also want me to clean up after them, I don't fucking think so.

Yeah, that was so out of, I was like, wait, did that happen too or something? No. So inspired by Stephanie, I decided to just go on, rate my professors. Oh, nice. I have one, so hopefully it's not the same. I have a few.

These are ones I found myself, so we'll see. I don't know, that would be kind of crazy. But this is of the Art Center College of Design, and it's an illustration professor. And this is a one star review. Hard grader and gives grades depending on her moods. Worst teacher I have ever met. You will learn nothing except heartbreak from her class.

Oh my God. Was that the same teacher as at Anchorage Closed Studio? She looks like she's broken a few hearts. No, it was the one with the nose, nose piercing. Oh yeah. She's broken a lot of hearts. Wistful. Yeah.

This is of Rate My Professor as well, wistful. Yeah. Um, this is of, uh, rate my professors well, or from rate my professor. It's from IO he, him. Um, and I thought that was very creative that he went to rate my professor, but I guess you did too. And so did Stephanie. So all three of you. So if Stephanie did it, is that what you're saying? Honestly, Stephanie has the most creative emails, like email sources. Yeah, that's everyone. So it's a little scary at times, which is why you, when you said inspired by Stephanie, I almost like ducked. Yeah.

Cause I thought this is going to be dangerous. Like what forum am I going to learn about today? Oh no, I got to settle in for another, another, uh, new set of lingo to learn some jargon. another another new set of lingo to learn some jargon. Bongin. That was Julio. I should give Julio credit for Grass City. Bongin Bongin. This is from IO. It is a review of the theater department or a professor in the theater department, Lou Paltor, at the California Institute of the Arts. And this review specifically for studio class,

one star quality, four star difficulty. Grade A. One week, the scene would be great. So he'd tell us to stop working on it. A couple of weeks later, we'd revisit it and he'd tell us it needs more work than we have time for. He accuses students questions as arguments and he makes no attempts to remove his old body from his chair. Within three weeks he'd made me hate acting. End of review.

Peel his ass off that seat like it sounds like Nosferatu like he won't even remove himself from the throne where he's glued like what the fuck he won't even attempt to remove his old body from that chair upon which he sits yes but it also was kind of giving like a corpses in the corner that old but is that what you're talking about in my mind you're talking about over what's corpses in the corner? It's just someone's corpse. Is it or is it a thing and you're going to make fun of me? No, it's what? No, no, no. I'm just saying this professor in my mind reading this. Wait. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree. I thought you were saying it's just like corpses in the corner. And I was like, is

that like a Stephen King novella that I didn't know about? No, it sounds like a good one though. Cause I said yes. Cause thinking you meant a literal. I did. And then I thought, Oh, she thinks it's something I'm saying something else because we're too, it was weirdly I was like, but it turns out we were on the same page. We were, we were two on the same page that we thought this can't be right. Yeah. Cause you were just on my nose for Ratu so much that I was like, huh?

I think that's where I got mixed up. I don's not mine. Uh, but yeah, picturing like, Oh, this guy, this rotting corpse over here. Won't he won't remove that body in the court. I don't know. Literally. I know. Cause it's presented as like, he won't even attempt to peel his own self. Like not like he won't stand up, but like he won't spiritually even attempt to manipulate the physical mold of his body. Relatable. So relatable. Come on, what's the problem?

And you got an A, big whoop. My next one, that's so true. That last one that I read a review on didn't even have a grade, but oh, they was for credit. Like come on on, whatever. Come on. And then this next one, they got a B plus, but they gave a one and it's for, it looks like an illustration class as well.

Professor of Fine Arts. Here's a one star. Worst teacher I had at Art Center easily. Started the class with 20 students. By the end of the semester, five of us. LOL. They all left. I worked hard and he accused me of spending only 30 minutes on my art that took hours. He told me I'd never get a job.

I now work full-time as a background painter at a studio. So maybe doesn't have the best eye. End of review. Wow. Now that's the ultimate rate, my professor. That's good. That feels nice. That's like a little... Because I've had professors talk to me that way before. Like if you behave... Like if you do it like this,

you're never going to work in XY field. You know? And it's like... Ben. How short sighted. Cristine. Yeah, it is short. It's very short sighted. Unless I'm doing something horrible, like beheading someone, which I wasn't. Ben. Yeah. Oh, but like no monks were involved Good to know no monks this time. I promise

No, I just I don't know. I just I love that. It's very like Satisfying it's more satisfying than the guys that now I hate acting Yeah, you know, yeah Them instead they're like I still did it like fuck you yeah yeah I need a little hope at the end okay this is also from IO it's my last review of art classes and this is a two-star review of hands-on Wow. Everyone. Oh, I was like, wow, they made four of them. Oh, no. Four. Everyone. This is great. Two stars. It was okay. Kind of pricey on a few things. My mom is friends with the owner and she's not the

best at communicating with anyone, especially her employees. My sister works there and it's hard for her to get anything approved when it comes to inventory and restocks. Don't really recommend this place as there are other places with better pricing and better qualified teachers. End of review. This feels to me like one of those scenes in a sitcom like a grenade, like a timer has gone off and it's like before they see that their friend and employer has a two-star view from like your own daughter and sister to threaten your job. Yeah, it's kind of, so the owner is a family friend and the sister works there.

Wow, so yeah, that is- So the mom is friends with the owner and the friend hired her daughter to work there. And then the other daughter, or other sister, the other child, sibling wrote this review saying like, oh, my sister thinks this place sucks. She could never. She's always complaining that she could never get things done at work. And it's like, okay, now here's a response from owner.

Oh, no. Wait. Okay. My palms are sweating right now. I know. I'm so scared. Wait, like I'm picturing us reviewing Francisco's workplace and complaining about management.

How inappropriate. Any workplace is gonna have issues. How inappropriate. Oh God, okay, my palms are sweating. Here's a response from Eleanor. And she wasn't even hired by a family friend. Like she has a... Amy, we understand your discomfort for not being hired.

Who is she the best on your job search? And the first response. Oh. I feel like we've had some drama. Like some. I know. What is going on with these art studios? They're like crazy.

All these people. Oh my gosh. Are having such emotional experiences. That's hilarious. So it's basically like the sister got hired she didn't and then she like wrote a two-star review being like my sister hates working there anyway and also she's terrible communicating with her employees and I'm not even one of them because she wouldn't let me be. That is like mortifying for the sister who's working there. Oh, it would be humiliating.

But clearly the owner's not humiliated. Clearly the owner's like brushed it off, like, oh, sorry I didn't hire you. That's wild. So awkward. Holy cow, okay. I've got one more, another Rate My Professor. This is a two star, here we go.

He is a nice teacher, I like him, but my figure drawing still sucks, end of review. That's so sad. Hey, you'll get there, and maybe you can do background set design, I feel like, or painting, I feel like that was what the other person did, and I imagine there's not much figure drawing drawing and I mean, I don't know.

You don't. Maybe there is. You know what? What I've heard is that there could, what I do know for sure is that there could be or there could not be. You know that for sure? I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, we I'm pretty sure. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll look into it. Hmm. Okay. Now it is time for us to have a new patron voicemail. This is so exciting.

Every time. This week's voicemail is from Bree. Let's see what Bree has to say. When I was younger, I worked at a pet store and it was my job to work in the aquatics department. Some days were better than others so some days I would get up early, put on makeup, get in a really good mood, head into work and I was an awesome customer service representative and some days I would roll out of bed, it'd be early in the morning and I didn't look very good. So we

had a regular customer come in to get fish and every once in a while I would help him and he would sing my praises and he just loved me. And then other days I would help him and it was like he really wouldn't give me the time of day. I thought maybe he's in a bad mood, whatever. Oh no. So a couple months later we get a review online

and it's this guy and he says, love coming here. The Aquatics Department specialist is on top of her game That cute little Latin girl is just so sweet and so precious and she really knows her stuff that other girl though She looks like she rolled out of bed. Couldn't give me the time of day. Please fire her and keep the other one on Plot twist it was the same girl. It was me. I am both. Oh my God. Someone basically just called you out so hard.

It's so rude. By literally thinking it's another fucking person. Yeah, that's so rude. Another employee. You should get two salaries first of all. Oh true. Yeah, and you should also. Another employee, you should get two salaries first of all. Oh true. Yeah, and you should also. Half of you get, but half of you gets a raise,

the other half gets a. Yeah, one of you might get fired. So you better get two salaries just in case. I don't know. Wow, that is incredible to get the validation. Cause I feel like as a woman I always, and growing up when I was like very conscientious or self-conscious, it was always like, oh, I bet people perceive me differently. But then over and when I was like very conscientious or self conscious, it was always like,

oh, I bet people perceive me differently. But then over the years I was like, I don't really think people perceive me. But then when you hear somebody say like, I don't recognize you. It's like what? Yeah, but I guess it's probably the attitude shift as well of like, oh, you're a completely different person. I mean, maybe you should be an actor.

It feels like you're really good at something. This feels like a talent. I just don't know of what. I think the real talent is taking care of those lovely, lovely fish. But I know that's who you're like every day. Not these idiots. You come in for the fish. You put lipstick on for those fish. Not for this guy. And don't you forget it. Yeah. Well, what about the days coming in without lipstick? Who's that? Fisher there. They put lipstick on for you. Those are the days coming in without lipstick who's that Fisher there they put lipstick on for you Those are the days that carried you

Someone's got to do those are the day someone's got to look good in that building and it's gonna be the fish or it's gonna be Bree those are the days they wore the lipstick for you Pucker up Pucker up. Pucker up? That's right, Elks Center. Stupid. This is an ad from BetterHelp Online Therapy. We always hear about the red flags to avoid in relationships, but it's just as important to focus on the green flags. If you're not quite sure what they look like, Therapy can help you identify those qualities so you can embody the green flag energy

and find it in others. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online and sign up only takes a few minutes. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com. Now it's time for my challenge. This is a challenge that was sent in from Hannah, sent in by Hannah and its reviews misusing the phrase needless to say. So this is from Izzy, they them, and it's of a place called Ulele or Ulele in Tampa,, and it's a brewery. This is a five-star review.

And I want you to just keep a little mental log of what things people find needless to say, or what people claim is needless to say. Because it's just a fun little smattering from all over the place. Well, needless to say, our kids come here all the time. Why would that have any bearing? Okay. Well, needless to say, our kids come here all the time and tell us we need to try it out. We finally had a chance to go and wow are we glad we did. Such a cool vibe, great atmosphere, service, food food and drinks It's pretty dark in there in the evening

So the photos I took are not great But the food was I highly recommend the crab cakes for an appetizer and their espresso martini for your cocktail We will definitely be back many times to come now. I need to tell you is he also Sent in an update on this or like additional info Possibly be be need updating here? It's so important. So it says see all photos from Amanda T. If you like, actually, can you get into my notes real quick?

Yeah, I'm here. Okay, so now do you see how down here there are a few assorted photos? Yes, I do. Of her food. Of plates. Yeah, so Izzy said they added like a thing in the email saying like, oh, she also added

like a bunch more, but they all look like really dark, like she couldn't figure out how to see the flash on only a couple of them. One of them clearly is well lit, like the flash was on, but the others don't. And Izzy was like, there's no reason to send them to you, they're just like the same photos. But apparently there's like, I don't know,

10, 12 photos of just the dark, the same plate, like the same plate over and over and over again. And then there is a response from owner which says, our thanks to your kids, Amanda. They know the score. And I was like, what the F? I think it was like a friendly thing, but it sounds threatening to me. And also-

I think so too. The person who posted it has like something in front of their face. Do you see that? Yeah. It just looks menacing. I think it's a mask. Oh my God, they're at my brother, my brother, Micho.

I recognize the font in the background. Christina, that is insane. I recognize it insane I recognize the smallest fucking profile picture. I Know where they were. Oh My god, I know exactly where they were. That's really fucking yeah, it is. You're right. I know we're gonna get in trouble That's so unhinged. I think Okay back to this Wow So they're only oh, sorry. Okay, back to this. Wow. So there are only, oh sorry, yeah, so here's the actual note.

Those are only half the pictures Amanda took of her meal. So there are quite a few more, which just made me giggle with delight. They were all just as bad and there were several repeats. So I think she's just uploading. I just love the start of it with needless to say. Sometimes. You haven't said anything And also like I still don't understand why that's it's not it's not it's not it's not there doesn't make using an idiom as far as

I'm concerned, which is fun because We'll do it but it's fun to be on this side of it. Yeah This is from Steph she they and it's fun to be on this side of it. This is from Steph, she, they, and it's a one star review from, Hey, I wonder where common sense media.org. I was going to say, how would I know where it's going to be some wild forum that know someone's live journal from like 2002. Like, which just makes me so scared of stuff. You understand why?

Steph knows all. 2002 like which just makes me so scared of stuff you understand why um once Steph knows too much is what i'll say this is uh one star by a parent of a five-year-old And uh, this is of some book. I I don't know the name of the book, but it was like some relatively obscure children's book The title of this is parents Beware and Do Your Research. Parents Beware and Do Your Research. Depending on your views and beliefs, you may find that the content in this book is not for your family. My views come from a Christian standpoint.

I will be honest, the things that drew me to this book were that it would be a great way to start my daughter who is advanced in reading into chapter books other than the ones at home, and her name is Ivy. We sat down in the bookstore and she pre-read a few pages of chapter one. I skimmed the book and it seemed harmless enough. I should have dived deeper when she was intrigued by the book. What? I feel like that's a little bit like maybe not. should have dived deeper when she was intrigued by the book.

I feel like that's a little bit like maybe not. Okay, let her enjoy her interest. But she likes this. Let me figure out why it must be a nefarious thing. Yeah, the devil has his hooks in my daughter. Yes, that's what it feels like. Because that's what it is. I mean, that's not what it is. Sorry. I never misuse any sayings or idioms as I told you. I should have dived deeper when she was intrigued by the book, but she said, mommy, the eyes of the girls looked bad. As my daughter progressed through the book, excited to read, she had progressed all the way to page 47. As she read out loud, I asked her if she was understanding the content, as her comprehension is rather good. She started telling me about Ivy, who was studying slash practicing to be a witch, and Bean, who was mad at her sister,

and how the two of them were devising a plan to get back at her sister. Ivy needed a dead frog and so on. Needless to say, I was very alarmed with the content of this book and started reading reviews, which I should have done prior to buying this book. I do not feel that this book is appropriate for any child. It is content that is too mature and pushes an agenda of witchcraft, hate, and divisiveness. This type of content is not the type of content

young minds should absorb, especially in a world that exhibits hate and divisiveness on a daily basis. This book sends a strong message against loving one another, as well as to teaching to work out your problems in a sneaky and malicious manner. No wonder my eight year old daughter was into it. Like, what the fuck? I know that some find it humorous, but what our children take into their

spirit and soul will be lived out and may manifest itself in such an unfathomable and tragedy manner. True. You've always said that. So it's called, it's called, it's called internalized homophobia. Oh, yeah, that is pretty tragedy manner. That's kind of what happens. I feel like tragedy manner is like a Luigi spin-off, but I think

it's not spelled a No, are it's just every time I think like timely manner. Oh, yeah tragedy manner it just feels like Another high pal, you know, yeah. Yeah the tragedy manner. Yeah another high pals Another one, but if this one's but this one's dark and really metal. Oh, okay. I mean maybe maybe that Play with the piercing is gonna be there probably cuz Satan's got his claws in her obviously too good But what our children take into their spirit and soul will be lived out and may manifest itself in such an unfathomable and tragedy manner.

I will return this book to the store or discard it as I do not want to be the cause of another child reading this material." End of review. Yikes. There were a lot of reviews about it being like, this is witchcraft. I mean, it was like, I need a dead frog so I can play a prank on my sister. And it's like, okay, I mean, no, I would not want my daughter to find a dead kill a frog. But I don't think that's what's happening.

That doesn't sound how you imagine that's not. But I don't know who knows. But yeah, I don't know. I'm no parent. But that's sounds exhausting to like feel the need to police. I think that is what Steph said. Like, God, it must be exhausting to be like this. I'm pretty sure stuff. Everything feels like an attack.

I know. I feel like we've said that before, but like, man. Well, did you hear what she said? I should have paid attention when she was interested in the book. And it's like, what the or I should have been more concerned. I feel like the thinking is that like the drawn. Yeah, the bad stuff will like well like it's so sneaky It'll like get yeah that way which is so fucked like it's nefarious. It's like all that fucking bullshit of like Tis a gift to be simple to the gift to be free

What is that? The shaker song and the shakers are so they're like so into being some simple and like not having You know, you're like Puritan like almost like having a lot of the excess and Yeah, and I feel like I Forget where we were going me we don't say we right now. You started singing to me. All the simple something. Oh, oh, oh.

So my point was, you know how back in the day Puritans would name their kids, and I know Shakers and Puritans are not the same, but how the Puritans would name their kids chastity, reverence, temperance. They would have these wild names like that. Prudence. Prudence, because they were virtues. That's what I like this is like. Oh, she's really excited about reading. We've got a wash

Fucking weird, I don't know. What if you like ironically named your kid like Prudence or temperance is like a I think people do it's it's it's a pretty name I know I really like like chastity well okay that one got a bad rap in like you know yours too and it's also not a word that I would play around with too much that's hard to ironically that's hard to make a nickname out of you know titty nickname out of what did I say? Did I say titty? I said, well, you're saying chastity, titty, chastity. Yeah, I see. I don't know what you mean. I think it's easy to make a nickname. Huh?

Chas Chas short for chastity. Chas, you know, short for the usual. Oh, is that short for chastity? Was Chas short for Charles? What is that even? I don't even know. Yes, it is short for Charles. That's lame. It should be Chastity. Oh my god. I wish I knew a Chaz.

I don't know a Chaz. Or I did. I was going to say, you don't currently do. No, I did. I know of a Chaz. I knew of a Chaz. The same Chaz, I imagine. And his name was Chaz, not Charles, or Chastity. Are you sure? I'm sure. I don't know. Might have been Chastity and just was hiding it.

High school is not a place to be called Chastity. Oaks Center, his name wasn't- Trust me, that was my nickname. I would know. His name wasn't Modesty. The way he was walking those halls. You're so right. There's nothing modest about the way he carried himself. He was the first guy in my grade to wear a skirt. I'm serious. And he wore it and people were like, and he just would wear it all the time. People were like, and then it became less weird because people couldn't make him stop doing it.

And I was like, thank God. That's it. Yeah. He was ahead of his time. it all the time. People were like, and then it became less weird because people couldn't make him stop doing it. And I was like, thank God. That's it, yeah. He was ahead of his time. Oh, big time, yeah. At least at our school. I one time cried because he got a tattoo because I went home and went, one of my classmates got a tattoo.

We had to sit in a big meeting and like, it was, I mean, it was a huge deal. Like we were the first class where someone had actively not cared that the teachers could see their tattoo Was already wearing a skirt so who cares but like I just remember the teachers being like We need to have an all-school meeting about this and talk about Jesus again, and I went home like totally out of crazy He got like a Jesus tattoo Yeah, but it was his face yeah on Jesus

Jesus tattoo. Yeah, but it was his face. Yeah. On Jesus. OK, but his his tattoo was really wild. It was a tree. Oh, yeah, that sounds wild. It was a tree with fetuses on it. Never mind.

I'm not fucking kidding. OK, maybe he did need Jesus. Never mind. It was like selling out of an LSD trip, I think. But it was like this. I mean, he called it the tree of life And we were all saying it has dead babies. I'm sure we were Not giving it again. He was ahead of his time. He was Underappreciated back needless to say

Needless to say everything I just said was needless to say Okay, this is a submission from Grapefruit Street, She, Her, and it is a three-star review of, get this, Schloss Heidelberg. Cool. I've been there. Me too. Nice. That is where Tanta Barbara gave me her rain jacket. Cool. Shout out. it cool shout out that's the one good memory I have of my family visits no

actually it wasn't cuz never I'm gonna say probably wasn't that good there's no way it could have been there's it absolutely came with strings attached let's put it that way this is a three-star view called needless to say I must say the view beneath the castle is of an imposing and magnificent castle The setting itself was well chosen to build a castle. I love that. This guy's like By my estimation and it's like who are you what year was this castle built? Like right like what the fuck do you have anything to say about a castle like 500 like I mean unless you're Literally like the professor of medieval architecture or something, I don't know.

But it just says like Andy from Barcelona, so who knows? Andy does. Andy does. The setting itself was well chosen to build a castle as it seems to be hugged by the surrounding hills and trees. Against my best instinct, I found it hard not to be all touristy and take the funicular to the castle. Was I worth it? Well, not really. But to say I went to Heidelberg but did not visit the castle? That would be too hard to digest. Expect lovely views, I can give you that. A large barrel and a pharmacy museum which I was lucky enough to be interested in since back then Pharmaceuticals were whole foods not man-made poisons

Sponsored like fucking pharmacy like don't worry. They got Germans. Don't use Tylenol. It was about bloodletting and leeches. Don't worry Right, like what like they would cut your limbs off instead. So when was it needless to say I already forget. Oh It was the title of the review Which I did read but I assumed it would come back But no, it's just needless to say dot dot dot and then the review Literally makes no sense Needless to say here I'm gonna say it. I don't get it I do like I feel like it could have worked in a lot of places like

Needless to say I took the funicular up to the top because that how could you resist? how could anyone resist that could be true or needless to say the pharmacy means no I don't have I've got nothing I know right needless to say I'm interested in this since pharmaceuticals or Whole Foods have they heard I wonder if they've heard of Whole Foods? Now I just I wanted to add you go up to it my favorite pharmacy And Amazon does pharmacy now apparently so you know, that's yeah great I love new corporations being involved in health care. I know they won't know what hit them. Oh, man Okay, I just got this tummy ache oops better call Amazon, okay? Grapefruit Street she her so then she also wrote these notes thoughts one funicular yes, too

How large is this barrel? Three I bet Andy is anti-vax and I do probably agree with all those sentiments if I were to guess I Well, how large is this barrel? I I don't know But I do wonder if I have a photo of myself in that rain jacket by that barrel feels like something I would fact that the barrel Was worth mentioning here, right was like oh of all things I would have remembered a pharmacy museum. I think and I definitely don't know cuz it was a Whole Foods Christian I do remember the Whole Foods. Yeah that I do remember. Yeah. Oh Boy

Yeah, I don't know. I'm just gonna I'm gonna get my pictures of hide it back Ready for the Instagram, you know, I'm looking very dramatic. It's actually very traumatic to go back through this So I don't know why I'm doing it. But here we go. Oh my god, I Found the barrel you did I found the barrel. How is it? It's pretty fucking big But unfortunately, I'm not standing in front of it. Oh You found a picture in your own photos of his own photos incredible Oh, but you have a picture. You found a picture in your own photos of this.

My own photos. Incredible. There is a photo of me in this castle, though, so we can. I know everyone wants to see me, obviously. And I look pretty cute. Because I was very youthful back then. Good times. That's so funny. I'm like, what barrel?

Now I'm like, clearly took three bad pictures of it. It's like really bad pictures of it. But I remember this place. I remember going here, weirdly. I think it was just because of the raincoat though, not because of like anything actually historic. It was just the raincoat and the rain water barrel, perhaps? Oh, is that what it is?

I bet it's beer. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know. You just were talking about a barrel. Oh, is that what it is? I bet it's beer. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know. You just were talking about a rain a barrel Oh this kind of barrel. I mean he says as if holy shit It's huge. I see that is that is a That's a barrel. I was picturing just like an upright normal looking barrel So was I when I didn't recall I don't know what what, but this is a big, looks like in a brewery. Now I'm just sending you a bunch of pictures of me.

How great. What a view of a river. Oh my god, wait, I just found a photo of you. I took pictures of me in Heidelberg. Oh, uh oh. Wait, I have a picture of you in Heidelberg. It's a dumbest photo. That's so good. It's not even interesting though. That drink is interesting though. Oh man. That was a, we went on a journey to find the barrel. We found the barrel. We're back to the reviews.

Okay, this is from Avi, they them, who in the subject of the email wrote, IMO, in my opinion, the following very much needed to be said. And I knew things would be good, or rather bad. And there is a whole review that goes along with this, but I'm just going to read the needless to say part, because the rest of the review is just one big, long hotel complaint about this hotel. Don't need it. Don't need it

Three stars and the photo comes with a caption Needless to say the sheets were poo stained End of post the entire Review didn't mention that it was only in the photos. So I'm like did it mention their diet? The food that they ate? Just a bunch of little berries. Oh, no. Oh.

Oh, is that what happens when you eat a bunch of little berries? I don't know. I was trying to think of what birds eat. Lily of the valley. Berries. Does that kill you? Yeah.

Don't eat those berries. Lily of the valley. That's a flower. I know, but has berries. Okay, ever watch Breaking Bad? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I watched that episode today.

Wait, okay. So fuck off. I was like, how's like don't fuck with me. I don't know what I'm talking about. I would never have thought that has berries until today. My sixth rewatch of Breaking Bad where I was like, oh, it has berries. I was like, I'm rewatching Better Call Saul.

They don't talk about it in there. Okay, it's just one fucking episode. Anyway, sorry. So it basically was like, that's not needless to say. And also, you should have written it in your long ass review of the hotel. That seems really important. Why would you not say that and then only hide it in the photos?

He looks to say the sheets had poop on that. That's the most need to say. But did they include a picture of the poopy, poopy sheets? Yes. Oh, so they didn't have to say it. They just they showed a picture is worth a thousand words. Sarely, because I'm looking at it going, what is that? I can't even considering we would sneak chocolate into our Room in Austria when visiting our grandmother to listen to and we listen to Harry Potter audio books under the covers

That was a sacral wound I was healing last Was having to listen to the Triwizard tournament and staining the chocolate you guys The Triwizard tournament and staining the chocolate. You guys, you know, the part what the funny part was that we had those headphones that had little foam covers and they only went over your ears like two. So we had to like turn the volume all the way up and like lean into it to like listen to the and it was a CD. I was like turned not fully around, but like at least a little bit like a quarter. We would like tilt them out and then Noca chocolate in bed and listen to Harry Potter. Yeah, that was fun. Oh, yeah Oh my god, it's not like we had a smart speaker or something. That's true

We just had to Wow and you know, I brought it for the airplane and I remember on the airplane I couldn't hear it. I turned all red to hear it because it's fucking the foam things are not gonna And I was like so disappointed because I didn't bring anything else. Anyway, let's get back to this. This is from both Avi and Ellie sent this in. Ellie, who goes by UK version. I think because we have a few Ellies.

Ellie and Avi sent this. I mean, honestly, probably someone else did too because again, I didn't get to so many of the emails, and if two of you found it. It's a photo from TripAdvisor. And basically, everyone who sent this in sent it with some version of, if you know what is happening, Christine,

you're like, I don't believe. Or Avi said, I'll eat a golf ball or something, if you know what's going on here. Although you might, Sandy. It's a golf course with two golf balls on it, and it says, and the caption of the photo says, one of us hit a driver, the other a three wood. Needless to say, mine was the longest drive

by about two inches. And end of post. And then there's two golf balls literally like equidistant from the camera so even if this were like it went farther it's like you don't even know which way it's going like they just look side by side you know like this means nothing to me I assume they're saying needless to say mine was a lot longest drive saying they're kind of making fun of themselves saying this is how far I hit my driver and the

other person hits their three would pretty much the same distance even though it's like technically a shorter club like it is a shorter club so it's like that's you're not it's pretty good so whoever hit pretty classic joke is better it it But like look at the picture Yeah It's like what are you talking about? What do you mean? It looks like it's a couple inches quick closer They look the same. They look equidistant from me But they're not from the flag

Which how would we would we ever know that? but they're not from the flag. Which, how would we ever know that? Isn't that the green off in the distance? If it is, then I yet again remind you, these two golf balls are next to each other. It's close. Okay, all right. It's close. It's not needless to say,

because clearly nobody knows what's going on except you. I get it. One of us hit a driver, the other a three needless to say mine was the longest drive by about two inches I think they're saying like I know I think they're saying because I don't know who hit the like I get they're saying one of us hit like who? Though whoever's two inches closer whoever hit two inches farther hit the driver in my opinion, because they're like, it is a drivers go farther. But the joke is you're technically supposed to hit.

It only even went two inches farther. Like, whenever I played with friends, I would always like they could hit a driver. Like I would hit the driver when they would hit the three wood because they would hit the driver too hard and it would go too far. I see in a bad spot. So but I don't hit it that far. So needless to say, yeah, my ball was closer by about two inches about two inches. Oh my god. It doesn't. It's not that good. I'm sorry. And I might be miss rep misunderstanding it. But I just not because I can't take any I just wanted Avi to eat a golf ball I mean I wanted I know but that was for me and you're right and I ruined it cuz I know Christina I know sorry my one dream in life I'm sorry

I'll take you to the barrel and then you'll forget all about this no I will have me drink from the barrel. Drink from that tap. Sup at my tap. This is from Steph Shile. It's a review is my last one. It's a review of Set Sail South Seas for Men by Tommy Bahama. Oh what is that? Wait, what is this? Set Sail South Seas for Men by Tommy Bahama. Oh, Set Sail Southas for Men by Tommy Bahama. Never mind. I misunderstood. Okay, I get it. God, you scared me there for a moment. No, don't worry. I'm quite familiar.

Steph sent this, of course, from a website called basenotes.com. It's not even for grantica or whatever the fuck. It's called basenotes.com. Oh, this is a perfume. A perfume, a fragrance review site. Yeah. Okay. And this Tommy Bahamas, the Bahama thing is a fragrance. I had no idea what that was. Oh, it is a fragrance.

I thought just by four men you would figure out. Poor. Now, you know, now it makes sense. It is. Oh, we. Okay. So this is a review of the the men's fragrance the cologne Set sail South Seas for men by Tommy Bahama

This is a thumbs up review and it's by a user called. That's mr. To you sir I Picked this up at Marshall's while I was visiting friends in Cleveland. Why is it the funniest sentence? Maybe it's because I'm going to Cleveland on Friday, but because no one has ever done this before. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just so specific. Seth literally wrote, I've lived in Cleveland for 20 years and never heard perfume shopping as a fun activity when visiting.

But you know, you always spend something. I love a good Marshall's. I've visited Marshall's in multiple states. Me too. It's a good last minute spot if you're in need of like a pair of shoes or something. Yeah. But yeah, getting no one has gone to Cleveland to visit friends and in the meantime purchased set sail South Seas for Men by Tommy Bahama at a Marshalls.

That's never happened. It's unheard of. And I'm glad it happened. I am too. And let me tell you about it. I picked this up at Marshall's while I was visiting friends in Cleveland. I was at the counter about to purchase a few items when I took one last look over at the men's fragrances and lord behold there was set sail South Seas. I'd overlooked it. I searched through all of their men's offerings and I bypassed this beauty. Needless to say, I jumped out of line. Needless to say, I jumped out of line to grab it before someone else could.

This is great. I get well over six plus hours of longevity. It does not project far, but it's nice when someone gets close to you, and especially for a hug. Not a huge pyramid here. Now I later learned as I was perusing the reviews this means a scent pyramid. Yeah, the scent pyramid. Oh, you are mean. The layers the notes the notes. Yes

Not a huge pyramid here and there is no need for one beautifully done by Tommy Bahama This is the only frag house. I don't like that. I Don't like that. I don't think there's really one specific reason. I just I'm not a fan This is the only frag house where I actually enjoy when you say it like that frag house It makes it sound so offensive I'm supposed to say it frag house Okay, not frag house Saying the slur

This is the only frag house where I actually enjoy every scent they make for men end of review Now this okay. You doesn't really have a good review like I was gonna say does have like a following or something I I mean apparently people were excited to try it, but then most people were disappointed that hey look so weirdly this might be the most Necessary not necessary none of these were necessary This might be the most like the actual like an actual needless to say at least within the community it was posted. You know? Yeah, like probably actually very helpful.

Other people were like true. I would have done the same thing. Okay. I feel like around then like celebrity perfumes were having a moment still. Oh, actually it has an overall pretty good review. I wanna tell you the fragrance pyramid. I don't think this is a, do you think Tommy Bahama's a celebrity? Oh, sorry, I meant like, I know, yeah, I did for a minute.

He wanted to smell like Tommy Bahama himself. I, well, I think. Meanwhile, Tommy Bahama's just making all sorts of stuff It says head Mandarin heart violet base rum oh Someone said I know what rum smells like this is not rum I feel like Tommy Bahama would know what rum smells like if anyone if anyone

He's not even a real person. I didn't say he's not a real he's not a select like this is no Celebrity, this isn't like Taylor Swift like lot wonderstruck or something Okay, don't don't say or something like that wasn't just on your mind all the time. It's not it's not even what it's called It's like also. I just feel like it kind of has the same it does doesn't have the same vibe though as like a Jessica Simpson perfume or something. Like that kind of, the kind that you're like reading GQ and it has like a little flap thing to smell. Do they have those in GQ? Why are you asking me if I read, do you think I read Gentleman's Quarterly or whatever GQ stands for? Do you think I've ever read that in my life? I didn't even even know that I worked at GQ channel and I didn't know that I'm it's that even right?

I don't know. No, no, we know I worked at the Esquire channel. What's the difference? I don't know. Well both I think failed Channel oh Honestly, no, but maybe we worked with Tommy Bahama was their only sponsor. I just feel like 08 seems like the last time that that might have been a very

relevant type of product. But I don't know, maybe not. What do I know? Nothing. I don't know. Go to Macy's. I'm sure you'll see plenty of Tommy Bahama. Like that's where they sell like Tommy Bahama like polos and stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah, I went into a Macy's recently and I was already stressed and I needed to find just like a black blazer. The airline had lost my clothes and I was it had all my perfume

and I was only not perfume for my deodorant. And I had all my Tommy Bahama for men in it. No. So I was wandering around I was like I fucking forgot how much I hate that they have like Designers cuz then you're like, I just want a black blazer. I don't know. I don't know what any of this means Why is this one $600 and they're all different like the sizes? You're gonna have to try each one on separately. That's shit Yeah, and then I said like I'm looking for someone said can I help you said I'm looking for blazer He's like, yeah, they should be some around and I'm like, well, like, I'm looking for someone said, can I help you? I'm looking for a blazer. He's like, yeah, there should be some around. And I'm like, well, yeah, I mean,

I could have also just wandered. Thank you. And I did. It was just like very unsettling. Someone needed to find an Ann Taylor. Am I right? You need a good old Ann Taylor. God, you know what I needed was a fucking Marshall's. You need a fucking target. Oh, Marshall's actually. Yeah, that's even better. Yeah. Cause then I can just look at the big sign hanging from the ceiling. What does it say? Women's. Oh, fine. Women's fine and dying. No, what does it say?

Wine them, dine them, 69 them. No, that's what GQ said. Sorry. I'm just, I'm just regurgitating the things that have been drilled in my head since I started reading Gentleman's Quarterly Yeah, what else is new Or do you think that you think the internalized homophobia came from my religious upbringing? It was my GQ upbringing Yeah, it was all the GQ articles. I read when I worked there, too You kept sending me how to be an alpha male like articles I said to Sigma of the house and then I said Alexander this subscription you didn't even put my name

But we all knew who was for yeah, and he her stepdad brought it to me is like this is You're the true Sigma so stupid So anyway, that was all thanks everybody for listening that was my challenge I think it's about time we cut things short before they fall even deeper. We're cutting it long. We always are Way too long. So it's time for us to go. Thank you for being with us today If you want to submit future themes challenges You can go to our patreon patreon.com such beach you sandy if you want to follow us you can go at beach You sandy on all of the evil

overlord social medias and What else what else? Merch speech to sandy dot store. We got some fun merch. There it is. Come along for the ride. We have video podcasts on the Patreon as well. So if that's something you're looking for and ad free, you can go there. Yeah. Talk to you soon. Okay, bye. you