Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 332: Reviews of Chiropractors

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

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That's Office Hours Live Best Comedy Podcast. Vote now! Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, hello. Welcome to Beachy Sandy Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion.

This is episode 332, Chiropractors. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. This was bonkers. This was something else. What was your challenge for this episode? So my challenge, oops I just closed my notes. My challenge, let's see if I can do it by memory, was to find reviews about other customers instead of the business itself.

Oh, okay that's fun. I forgot about that one. It was easy. I bet, I bet. I bet. Yeah, I feel like I might have some examples of that today by chance. Yeah, I think probably most episodes we have completed that challenge unknowingly. But it's fun to seek those out specifically because it is. Those can be really good. It feels like you're looking for the gossip just for gossip sake. I also wanna add, Zandy, that if you, so chiropractors, I mean, I don't know

what you feel about this. Or should we talk real quick about how amped everyone is for our tour before we get into chiropractors? Yeah, let's do that before we get into the drama. It feels like it's gonna be drama. Y'all, your response to our tour has been incredible. We were like, what the heck?

We're kind of blown away and people are already saying about all the tickets they bought. And that was, like, we're heck? We were kind of blown away and people are already saying about all the tickets they bought and that was like, we're recording this the day they go on sale to everyone. So being just patrons, like have been showing up buying tickets, we're so thrilled. I can't believe it. I'm like really excited to see the numbers

cause we get like updates on our numbers as we go because yeah, y'all are just commenting where you're going. We're so excited to see you all. And if you're listening to this, all of the tickets should be on sale at all 16 of our shows. Florida's coming up first, so better get on that before they sell out. I say hopefully that they sell out.

Yeah, they're going to sell out tomorrow. Yes. If you don't buy them right now, if you don't buy them this second, it'll haunt you the rest of your life. Yes, if you don't buy them right now if you don't buy them this second And it'll haunt you the rest of your life Sure, we know we will haunt you and your ancestors for eternity your descendants and ancestors both sides What word I was looking for? Thank you. Yeah, but I figured we'll just add to it I want to add real quick that speaking of Orlando. Oh, I add to it um i want to add real quick that speaking of orlando uh-oh i did a thing where i reached out to a chiropractor in orlando

to invite to our show no oh to fix me okay here's what i'll say i have a storied past i don't really but i have like a very kind of if you really wait am i allowed to talk about chiropractor? Let's move on from tour tour beach to sandy comm slash tour Let's get that over with blah blah blah go buy tickets if you want we can't see it's gonna be so much fun Every show is gonna be different. It's just gonna be a blast We're gonna read some reviews of local spots, but that's not important including this chiropractor in orlando apparently Is that I'm getting my body fixed. No, I I've never been to a chiropractor in Orlando apparently. Is that I'm getting my body fixed. No, I've never been to a chiropractor.

You haven't either, right? No. Like it was not something we grew up doing. And when I went to college and realized people had been seeing chiropractors their whole life, I was like, well, I clear. Yeah. And I was like, I've missed the boat, I guess. I don't know. And some people see them their whole life, like starting at infancy, like it as a baby what I know I don't know even after this episode. I apparently I know nothing I know it's wild and so and then blaze had like a pretty we just had like a really kind of not great experience with Some chiropractors. I've had a very like

Do you know who's who I'm thinking of that 100% I, I recently told like my, I told someone who suggested I go to chiropractor I'm like, when I think of chiropractors, the only ones that come to mind are not. Yeah, they're not there's like shadiness there. And I think it's because there's like kind of a open. It's like there are good chiropractors who really do help people but then there's like that kind of slippery slope of like getting into anti-vax stuff and like it almost because it's kind of still considered like it's not endorsed by the American Medical Association and there's like a lot of they're finally starting to like allow people to be referred to chiropractors but for years like you weren't even allowed as a doctor to refer someone to a chiropractor. And so I think they're finally starting to loosen that, but there is a lot of gray area, I think,

in the chiropractic world. Especially because I feel like a lot of them make claims that are absolutely like that shit, where you're like, what you're doing to my body should not do that. That's not how that works. And somebody I know that you know of and like says they do things from afar and I'm like, but then again I believe in like Reiki so I'm like how much of my judgment is even allowed here? I

don't know. But I've recently become kind of weirdly obsessed because I do a lot of this, so embarrassing. I have sinus issues so I do a lot of like massages on my sinuses, my face, my head. And I found this chiropractor who posts and her name is she has like three million subscribers so she's a big deal. But her it's called Mondragon Chiropractic and as I was doing my notes last night I was like glanced at my YouTube what I was watching and like go into my notes and see the video I just started. Do I, what, just started like a second ago you're watching right now?

No, while I did my notes. You were watching a car? I was, I was watching Chiropractor. I was like, I've never been to a chiropractor. I don't have good experience with chiropractor, but I was watching this video. It's so gross. The titles are so click-baity.

Toe Lymph, Head to to toe? Oh, sorry. I saw the hyphen. It says head to toe with hyphens in between and I just thought the hyphen was like part of the intro so it just says toe-limph. It says head to toe lymph and sinus drainage. Full-body crunches in all caps to relieve stress. When I think of crunches, either- either type of crunches, it's not positive. So I don't know about this. It's like the back cracking, you know? Yeah, yeah.

I love it. Which freaks me out. I know, it's freaky. And I love it. And I feel like I finally found somebody where I watch her videos and she like really pays attention to all this stuff. And I'm like, that person I would see. Then I realized she's in Orlando. And I was like, that's where we're going. And so then I was like well Let me just like throw it out there and see if she has an appointment She has not gotten back to me yet, but so you're gonna make an appointment before or after our show for our show

So you might be on a stretcher or something? Okay? I'm so afraid. I'll be reporting from the hospital No, I'm I she's probably not gonna get back. She's three million subscribers on YouTube But I thought I thought I'd just throw it out there Well, it's good that you dropped your podcast and that you I wish I had Anyway, sorry, so that's where I'm actually gonna go see one. Okay. Well, I don't know if you like You and like only that one like I don't necessarily want to go see somebody in town You know what? I mean? Like I just like her as a provider and I feel like she does more than just Cracking your neck around so I'm like I want to see her and help have her help me with my sinuses

But yeah, it seems to me like a lot of it is seems very scammy but like yeah, I so I struggled to with the idea of actually going to one and but then there are other things like What's the acupuncture? I was looking into it because I thought like, well, this seems silly. Like I'd not be I knew nothing about it. But I was like, does what does what would that possibly do? And plenty of people say it's done so many good things for them. So I'm like, what do I know? Very little. I know I'm over here like I have a Reiki master's certificate,

but it would be ridiculous that cracking your back could do anything. It's like that doesn't make any sense. I have like mixed feelings, but mixed feelings. That's a good way to put it. Obviously, I'm no expert in any of this kind of stuff, but I would encourage everyone to be safe out there and try to find fair trusted trusted providers for all this, because I read some horror stories.

Yeah, oh yeah. And then I'm reading horror stories and I'm like, and it's like, we brought our two year old and I'm like, ah, I don't want to know. Yeah. Okay, anyway. You're frozen on your camera. Oh, I am? Yeah.

Why is it doing that? All right, so I guess we'll get into it. This is from Elta Sheher, who said if she could marry someone for their profession, she always said it would be a chiropractor. I was like I can understand that a hundred percent So this is a review of 100% You haven't seen one yet 50% Only if they're famous on YouTube and I can like that by watching one chiropractor literally one chiropractor and for I have to watch 400 of their

Appointments before I feel comfortable like watch the full extent um and I think I've finally done that so marriage proposal impending um this is a one-star review also elta like mentioned her husband in the email and I was like wait a minute elta's like putting the bat signal out to like right I was like be careful out there you know like making moves I might be married but yeah it doesn't listen chiropractors the trump card you know so here's a one star view of st paul chiropractic and natural medicine there's a one star review by matt with a response from owner avoid Avoid this guy like the plague. I only gave one star because I couldn't give zero.

He gave me an so-called adjustment. I heard an unusual snapping sound. He promised me it was normal, but after a few days of aching, I went back to ask him if he could for all intents and purposes, warranty his work. He made me pay for another so-called adjustment and the ache turned into a pain that lasted almost six weeks. This guy is such a quack he probably flies south for the winter." Is that a new one? Because I think that's so good. It has to be. It's so good. I'd like to think I'd remember that. That's hilarious. And then everyone's like. It's so good. I'd like to think I'd remember that.

That's hilarious. Me too. And then everyone's like, no, you've definitely said this exact same thing. But honestly, how fun for us that we get to experience it anew every time because we forget the last time. And then here's a response from owner. I'm not going to read the whole thing, just the first two lines. Matt, I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but it was not at this office.

You have never been a patient here and you have us confused with someone else and a review or response And I it happens a lot that the I mean that all businesses respond with Not all but many of them respond with like you you were never even a customer here and it's like well Yeah, but their name is like dog mommy for 20 like you don't you know, like sometimes I'm like You shouldn't just drop your username like that. Like I know just as an example, but like still. They should know I've never been a patient there. You know, I've. That's not safe to do.

Yeah, but you know, you're right. And then like plenty of people, like I've seen, there's so many examples of like couples using the same Google account. Old people are weird with Google. Okay, like, I don't know, to me that's crazy. The idea of like having a shared, like just like hopping on your husband's Google account to like write a review.

Or vice versa. What's the big game? Yeah, Elise and Matt. I said that's so effed up. That's really fucked. That's embarrassing to be close to your partner. Yeah, the intimacy is just disgusting. It makes me want to is why I open my mouth

No chiropractors touching me. Yes, it would be too intimate. Mm-hmm. Here is a review This was we did a couple of us Fracture oh That's her name by the way Brenda Brenda, okay, is she located in like the Disney complex somewhere? I would be great. I'm kind of remind me of a Disney princess she kind of acts like she's a Disney princess sometimes and I'm like maybe she is. Imagine that service. Maybe that's just what Orlando's like. A Disney princess chiropractor at Disney. I mean people would pay the big bucks for that including myself. I was gonna say I actually might be willing to

do that oh yeah by the way people, our after party that night is going to be at Epcot. Oh, yeah, that's right. We've reserved Thailand. I don't know how that works. Don't they have countries there? I've never been. Good job, Christina. No, yeah, it's actually, I've been there once and it was actually...

I've never been to Epcot. It was so much fun. That's probably my favorite experience at Disney. Not that I've been that many times, but yeah. Okay, well you have yet to meet Brenda, but... You got me there. Okay, here is a review from IO. This is of advanced chiropractic relief.

This is in Greater Greenpoint in the Houston area so we can also go to this one say we're gonna have a whole list by the end of the episode have 16 fucking cities they're gonna like not small cities no and someday someone's gonna be like remember when Christine said she'd never been to a chiropractor now she's been to every single one in the United States for some reason I think that the the one inano is going to be extra good. Well, no doubt. Okay, anyway, here's a one-star review.

Had to go to the hospital after he dislocated my shoulder and my arm was stuck in one position and very painful. He also tried to offer me a half-eaten burger from McDonald's after I told him I was going to leave to get food. End of review. What do you mean? Like, he wouldn't let you leave to go to the hospital? You had to say you had to leave to get food? There's an owner response. I don't know if I should say it's worth reading but I'm just gonna read it anyway. Really? Half-eaten McDonald's burger? What a hack! End of response. Oh. So I don't know if that's, that seems like they're saying like, well.

That's ridiculous or something. You're just making shit up, which I would not be surprised by. No, but it is rather specific. Not that I should fault the provider for that, but it feels like if they did go to the hospital, that's gotta be probably a big red flag yeah that's a medical practice this person also appears to be a troll

because it looks like they specifically gave a one-star review to somewhat a place because it's women owned Alexander nowadays you don't know that could be a very real sentiment okay but then like has like an actual review of like random places including Physical therapy, but negative about only I will say negative about speaking of donuts that you're eating from that Leona brought you Crispy cream negative of Or positive negative, but it's a crispy cream in Wilmington Delaware. This person is fascinating. I'm gonna read this one star review Girl we drive through window going. Oh, we don't have many doughnuts. Sorry

You'll have to cancel the order, but you literally gave the lady in front of me like 50 doughnuts What the fuck is wrong with you? I hope you get fired Whoa, first of all Don't you see the logic there? They just gave someone 50 donuts. Of course they're all gone. Of course. Like, what do you mean?

I don't know. Where are they? You just told me that gave them all to the lady in front of you. Yeah, I'm realizing now that this person apparently lives in Delaware and just has one review in the Houston area and it's of this chiropractor. So that's going to be you once you get back from Orlando. When I go- A single review of Orlando. And suddenly I'm a local guy, you know, because I'm like Epcot and like all this stuff. I have so many opinions all of a sudden.

Yeah. Wait till I'm a local guy in Plano. I can't wait. Yeah, in Thailand. Oh my god, I could I do you think I could be a local guy in Thailand? Yeah, from Epcot, from your reviews of Epcot. Absolutely. You would deserve it, for sure. I mean, I'm clearly watching White Lotus. That's the only reference point I have for that. What's above? What is above Local Guide? Because that's you. If you review Thailand Epcot and you watch White Lotus, oh my god.

I might as well be a naturalized citizen. Oh, okay What's it like when you cohabitate for long enough that you're automatically granted the same rights as someone who's technically married? legally married I don't know Hell common law. Oh, yeah. What the? So you'd rather get married I like living alone. Mm-hmm. All right. So here is a Review this was sent in by Lindsey. She her it's a review of I mean, it's kind of a weird name chiropractic company of Milwaukee third ward, but I guess that's probably part of the Milwaukee area, but third ward feels like I

Don't know like I'm watching a zombie disaster movie. Yeah Third war like Milwaukee is the only city remaining. Yes I don't know. Like I'm watching a zombie disaster movie. Yeah, yeah. And to the third ward. Like Milwaukee is the only city remaining. Yes, it's like a bombed out shelter. Yeah, the third ward. And then there's just a lady literally doing karate chop on someone's back in the photo. So it does feel very ominous. Oh no.

So this is a one star view by Daryl. Oh no, sorry. This is a case of a husband and wife, I think. This is by Amy, who writes her name in the review. It says one star, Amy C. Milwaukee. He always brushes against my breasts. Oh no. I don't mind.

Oh, Amy, you got me so good. I can't. It gets me every time. Oh my god. I was like, oh gosh. Yeah. He always brushes against my breasts. I don't mind, but a little uncomfortable. I catch him staring at them too. Oh well.

That is hilarious. I catch him staring at them too. Oh well. I'm so sorry. That is hilarious. I catch him staring at them too. Oh well, I feel better after going. I guess you can't have everything end of review. Amy, yes you can. Amy, what? You can have your own, first of all,

you can not be sexualized. I don't even know how to put this. Like I don't know, bear. So. Harassed? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That it feels like that should be, that's not normal.

You don't feel like you have to accept that. And you know what, Amy? You can also have your own Google account too. Also there's that. Yeah. Also like Brenda would never brush your boobs. Okay. So I feel like maybe... Well, but then it seems like you don't mind it.

So at this point, I don't really know. Yeah, saying you don't mind. I was like, oh, okay, but it seems like she does mind. She's just saying she doesn't mind because she's like people-pleasing and doesn't want to be... But Amy, that isn't being difficult. I'm sorry that you're going through that because that's- That's not okay, man. No, that's uncomfortable.

No, I mean, this person is literally holding your entire head and neck and could literally kill you in a second and then they're like touching your boobs. Oops. Yeah, I finished up watching The Curse and there's a chiropractor scene in that. What's the curse? Nathan Fielder's like Emma Stones and Benny Safdie. Yeah, so good. But there's a chiropractor scene

and that show already is so awkward and uncomfortable and really disturbing. So you know that the chiropractor scene was also disturbing. Nothing like bad happened. It's just the fact that they showed it and the sounds and I muted it I think and close my eyes. Yeah. And I don't think anything. I actually don't know because I close my eyes through it all. Anyway, here I'm a baby about certain things. Here's a

review. This was sent in by Taylor Sheher. This is a align your spine chiropractic Louisville. They might as well have fun names. Yeah, right. Unless it's in the third ward. Okay, fair point. I don't know. Maybe that's for fun. Maybe they named it that for fun. Like people from Milwaukee are just like, it's so normal. What do you know? It's probably a very normal thing. It's like, what is it in Louisiana? What do they call their counties? It's something like that sounds

parishes, I think. Oh, and like I live in a commonwealth and it's like, yeah, that's just what it is. Oh, yeah, this is a review of chiropractic align your spine chiropractic in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Hey, okay. Here's one star review. Ignore the one star, it's actually a zero star. I had an appointment today at 9 a.m. due to neck pain I've been having. The lady at the front desk waited on me, then told me to have a seat.

The doctor will be with me shortly. After waiting about 10 minutes, the doctor walked up to me and didn't even introduce herself. All she said was hi. And immediately I felt the bad energy. Then she barely reached out to shake my hand, clear as day she didn't want to. Well, you were writing in your little notebook

about the whole event and it's like, you didn't have a hand free. She didn't know what to do. Cause you're like writing about what she looked like. Also, if you like go into somewhere with neck pain, you're probably not in the best mood. Right. Oh, good point. And also like, who knows? Maybe it's not easy to move your arm. I don't know. I hope my chiropractor can move their arm. They're assuming that the patient might have trouble.

Maybe you don't necessarily want to make them do like physical movements, you know, in case they're not doing well. I feel like also nowadays it's rare for a doctor to actually shake my hand. I do it sometimes. I like automatically, like I feel like I try I sense the vibe and I just like go for it sometimes. But usually I like just give a little wave because I like I don't know because I'm just gonna have to fucking... Yeah, well especially after COVID, people kind of stop doing that. Yeah, they're gonna have to like, lube up, what's it called? What's this stuff?

They gotta put their sanitizer on. Like last time I shook a doctor's hand, they immediately went for the sanitizer. And I'm like, I get it. They were like, ew, ew, ew, ew, you touched me. And it's like, that's just what- Rana! I feel like they have to do that,

but I'm also like, I don't need to see them do that. Like, I don't know, it makes me feel gross. But anyway, I am gross. Here we go. We proceeded to the back, I guess to her office where she was talking as if she could care less and just simply wanted me to leave her establishment. I initially found her online while looking for a chiropractor and saw she offered a special for first visit, which said it included everything, but then once I was there... This is pretty special, I think. What?

This sounds pretty special to me. Oh, it sounds like a very special arrangement. It sounds special for a first time, yeah. Which said it included everything, but then once I was there, she said, Oh no, it's $129. Like, wait, what? LOL? And it's not about not having the money to pay for it, because I am more than able to afford it, but it's the fact that she bold facely tried to rip me off. Hmm, I wonder why.

So I decided not to go through with the appointment and walked out, end of review. Oh my God. They like were hinting at so many things. That's so weird. Like what actually happened? It's like, you're giving us nothing here. I don't know what's going on.

Like she just said hi and then was acting like she didn't want you to be there. What does that mean? I don't know. Yeah. I feel like you were putting off weird energy. I mean, the fact that you said this moment she said hi, you felt that energy. Does that mean you reacted? I love these reviews. Yeah. It feels like, oh, I have one, Alexander, actually, now that I didn't even clock it, but I have one very similar where it's like, okay, this person already has like a view

of the world that no one else is gonna understand or match. I feel like the bad energy here was the pain radiating from their neck. Yeah, right? When you tried to shake the hand, and maybe that's why you have neck pain, because you keep trying to force someone to shake your hand.

Yeah, and the doctor like saw you wincing and tried to not make you. And then you're like, bad you know, I mean own it, you know, some of it's yours. Yeah All right. So this is Maybe maybe you should go this shouldn't be a joke. It's not funny Maybe you should go see that person that Amy saw who bright touch your breath your god Not talk about a special special Appointment. Oh, yeah, breasts. Oh, dear God. That talk about a special, special appointment. Oh, yeah, they were shaking something. Oh, no.

I don't know what that meant, but I don't either. I just thought I did feel that. Oh, no, was the only appropriate response. Oksana, as you know about me, I'm always here to bring women's issues to the forefront. Always. OK, just making sure we're on the same page. Oh yeah. Well, I have a fun fact for you that's not so fun.

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It's a review of Symphony Wellness, also in Milwaukee. Not in the third ward though. Um, but this is Alexander, the actual review that I meant. I didn't realize it was up next. That is good. We're going right into it because I would have forgotten. Otherwise what you were, you would have been like, Oh, remember that review I talked about earlier? I would have said, yeah, I would have said me neither.

Two stars by Tracy. Victim blames and shames and is growing detached from empathy as he embraces the more logical approach. He assumed my issues are caused by an issue with my relationship with myself. Was Jesus's persecution caused by issues with himself, Ben? What about Job? Was Job's persecution caused by holes in a relationship with himself? I felt so offended. I've been doing extensive shadow work since 2007. Thankfully, my third degree is a law degree, and my personality type is INTP known as the logician.

So I can be just as logical as Ben and easily. Okay, first of all, it does sound like Ben's very logical. It doesn't sound like anyone so far has been logical, but thank you. And if you're using your personality, that specific test is not. To prove that you're logical and intellectual. I think I'd trust a chiropractor before I'd trust that.

Whatever that is. No, the, what is it? The, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like fun to take personality tests. For sure. I love doing it with friends. I love like the one that's like- Like your Enneagram doesn't like, whatever. Okay. Yeah. And it's not, yes. It's a flawed thing. I mean, of course, yeah.

Thankfully, my third degree is a law degree, and my personality type is INTP, known as the Logician. So I can be just as logical as Ben and easily point out the flaws in what he is saying. I've met a lot of emotionally and mentally disturbed people who are absolutely not going through what I'm going through. Oh yeah, your persecution. Like, yeah, comparing yourself to Jesus because a chiropractor. The first sentence of your review is wild. Oh my god. So I can be just as logical. I've met a lot of emotionally and mentally disturbed people who are absolutely not going through what I am going through. Ben did later confirm I am being targeted by Satanist. Clearly Ben I am going through. He confirmed? Okay, everyone is on something.

That's what I'm saying. When they're saying like I'm more logical than the like person at the chiropractors obviously called me targeted by satanists. Ben doesn't sound like much of a competition. No. Ben did later confirm I am being targeted by satanists. Clearly Ben I am doing something right and holy to be targeted by this dark group. That's the logic.

Like oh satanists are after me doesn't that mean I'm very holy yeah what a bunch of 16 year olds wearing like pantera shirts like what what are these statements like come on masks yeah not something wrong if I was some screwed up person Satanists wouldn't view me as a target that needs to be attacked and why am I to blame for not being protected by the divine? Why am I to blame for being persecuted by such a dark group for refusing to be dark? Plus, Ben's healing methods are ineffective for me. He told me I had no attachments on March 28th. Attached is an excerpt of what was found on me a few days later.

What? What does that mean? What was found on me? The dark mark? Like yeah like literally actually remember how that looked like that's what the person described hold on I I actually did not even include it because I was like this is just so out there but now I feel like now that we're in it I have to bring it to your attention um actually though something actually appeared on their skin is what they're saying?

From this appointment? Or from those 16 year olds that I made up? From the 16 year olds, I think. It's okay. All right, so there are two photo attachments, right, on this review. Thank God. One of them is a screenshot with Ben of like a Facebook message with Ben of something Ben sent. Then the second picture is a chat.

Oh, it's on TikTok. I was like, I can't tell where it is. Oh, it's on TikTok. And they pretended like it wasn't by cropping the photo down, but it's on TikTok. And it's them saying what was your findings and then they crossed out whoever this warlock is on TikTok but the TikTok person says there were an enormous amount of small dark shiny slithery serpent-like entities which came out of every chakra of yours and And so they paid someone on TikTok

to do like a spiritual reading on. And they're complaining to their chiropractor about it. You what? And then they're like telling the chiropractor, help me out. Yeah, and the chiropractor said, you have no dark attachments. And then they said, well, here's proof that I do,

because it was the day after. And this TikTok person said, you have no dark attachments. And then they said, well, here's proof that I do because it was the day after. And this TikTok person said, there are like slithering snakes coming out of you. Which it sounds like the dark mark in the sky. You know how it has that? Oh yes, yes, no, for sure. And it says, I worked on clearing them from the bottom up, they're all removed.

I also pulled out negative energy cords from each of your chakras. Okay, I mean, it's like, okay. Oh, and then there's another text a minute later. There were also a lot of small spider-like entities coming out of your third eye. I'm not gonna lie. When he said third degree, I was like,

I thought he was gonna say third eye. And so when he said his third degree as a lawyer, I was like, I thought he was gonna say my third eye. So I was like, okay, we're not doing that. And then now this TikTok person is. It's actually so much worse. It's actually filled with spiders. Oh my God. Wow, they were blocking it badly.

And so now they're saying like, oh my God, Ben didn't even realize that I had all these dark attachments. Had all these spiders in my third eye. Yeah. And snakes in my chakras. And snakes in your chakras. And snakes in your chakras. Like this is like a mismatch. I'm like a fucking-

It just makes no sense. This is like the shit that like- This is what gives people a bad name. Okay? This is like when when some people here chiropractor they think this which like- Yes, yes. I kind of do too. And I'm like, this feels unhealthy. Okay. Yeah. And it's like also, I'm so here.

Not that I know too much about these different cultures, but it sounds like they're just taking different cultural elements and healing styles and just making this mess. You really have to do research, I think, before you find out where you go. Because I mean, the number of people who went into a practice and were like, oh my god,

they were all anti-vax. And I just didn't realize. And it's like, yeah, you do kind of have to read reviews of places before you go in because they're all over the place. Like aspect, like all over. Because like they're making, they're making a bad name of like any form of like Eastern medicine like here by like throwing all the shit out there. And then it's like, that's such a slippery slope as it is that like, yeah. Yes, because it has a bad like reputation, I think. Yeah, I'm like very wary. And then you read this and you're like, wait, what? Yeah.

Okay, so anyway, basically he's saying, well, Ben said I was targeted by Satanist. Doesn't that mean I'm doing something right? And then said, plus his healing methods are ineffective. He told me I had no attachments on March 28. And then this text was a few days later on TikTok. attached is an excerpt of what was found on me a few days later, I could feel and see these things like the spiders. Yeah, of course. So

this report is accurate. Lastly, Ben had a prayer that I asked him if I could purchase since he made it clear it wasn't free. He said no, I couldn't purchase it. I, Ben had a prayer that I asked him if I could purchase since he made it clear it wasn't free. He said no, I couldn't purchase it, I must be a coaching client. He wouldn't even let me buy a prayer from him, ladies and gents. There you have it, I don't want to be the client of a guy that can't effectively clear me of the high level of attacks I am experiencing, nor who victim blames and shames nor who holds prayers hostage.

Where are the people slash healers like jesus jesus effectively cleared healed and gave us prayers to say end of review when when he compared himself to jesus at the start i thought wow this can't get any more batshit and then it got a lot more bad shit um the screenshot of what ben said is but I'm not willing to do single visit cleanup work without deeper, mire consistent work to begin cleaning up the holes in your relationship with yourself and your personal energy practices that create these openings.

I just like, and then that person responded and said, I don't have any idea what that second screenshot it has to do with me, which is fair, the one about snakes and spiders. And then said, but I don't do attachment. I told you I don't do attachment work. And I'm like, okay, this is all. I do everything up until, everything but that, it sounds.

Or it said, it's not my strength or something. Like attachment work is not my strength or whatever. And it's like, what are people talking about is happening? This is like I do a ghost podcast and I'm like, can everybody stop but you're stressing me out This is like a little scary Yeah, it's a lot of scary these people are coming out of your third eye Out and about you know, just like it's just like so out and about together No, I mean these people are out and about in public.

But yeah, this is and out. Yeah, you're right. They are. And I don't like that for us. It's just a weird thought. And there's spiders coming out of your third eye. I can't get so upset at someone for not curing thing. I don't know. Like that. Okay. It's all I don't know where to start. So I'm gonna end. I have another one. It's of that same place in the Commonwealth of Kentucky from Taylor. It's a one-star review, though. Charged me almost $1,000 and provided zero relief

after six weeks of treatment. Blamed me for a lack of progress. Treated my back when I expressed to her that my neck was causing me problems. Horrible attitude. Typical appointment lasts all of 30 seconds. Sometimes doesn't even include an actual adjustment. Severe halitosis.

Went on a rant about antibiotics and got red in the face when I told her I'd gone to an actual doctor to be treated for a bacterial infection. Her exact words were, Medicine doesn't help anybody. Told me that in the future I should eat garlic to cure my ear infections. Not even remotely joking. You're better off going anywhere else. Stay far, far away from this self-centered, deranged, and deeply troubled woman. Megan, I know you're going to read this. You're a complete joke.

And I rue the day I walked into your office. You removed my last review, which only shows how immature and childish you are. Grow up and learn to listen to your patients. End of review. Whoa, you that. Whoa, that was some harsh words. Did it have a response? Nope. I bet you Megan's taken some.

Either legal action or more likely hiring someone on TikTok to set a hex on this person, you know? Yeah, this was five years ago. So who knows? I bet a lot of change has happened since then. Can you tell from the profile photo like a little scan of like what's blocking up their chakras and stuff? Sure.

It's like a blue circle with the white letter A in the middle, because that's their first name. And that's the default Google thing. Oh, I see. So what that tells me is that they're actually, whoa. Hold on. Oh, my God, they're angels. Angels in the third eye. Oh, my God. The angels are blocking it. So they must be their dark fallen angels. Yes. Oh, no. But the angels are blocking it. So they must be fallen angels. Oh no.

Yes. Oh no. I bet Ben did that. Ben did? No, it says that. They told me. They just told me. They played their little, they don't use trumpets like the ones up top.

Yeah. Yeah, they use piccolos. Oh, that's so custom. They gave me a little riff and was like. It's extremely dark. Ben did this? And then giggled and ran away. They said, we're Ben's angels. And you said you meet Charlie's angels

and said no, Benjamin's angels. Benjamin's angels, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I remembered what I was gonna mention from your last review. The idea of like subscribing for prayers. Like he's like, oh, like come, you have to be a member then I'll give you a prayer. A prayer.

And like also just selling prayers in general. It's wild. They did, oh, you have to be a member that I'll give you a prayer a prayer and like also just selling prayers in general I was absolutely the company or the owner Ben also responded to that and said Like I did not ever you did not ask to buy a prayer like that's not a thing But he did have like some specific I guess prayers that you get if you're part of the coaching program So he's like so so it's like, Jay, you want to be- Jay, gatekeeping prayers is wild. Katie, gatekeeping prayers. Jay, behind money, especially is wild.

Katie, It's pretty crazy. Jay, but yeah, so and then that's just kind of what when I was reading this about like, charging almost $1,000 for six weeks of treatment, like, and it's like- Katie, I'm saying medicine helps no one. Okay. Jay, and so like all these like the chiropractor stuff of like adjustments. It's like, what does that mean? I don't know. I'm sure some of them are more in depth. That can fix like a bacterial infection. It's like, hang on. That's where I don't really get it. Like that's where I feel like you need to help me understand the science here. Garlic for ear infections and stuff. yeah I mean I'll eat garlic all day but I also get a lot of ear infections so it clearly isn't working Ben's treatments are

ineffective for me well that's the thing is it's actually you went too much oh no like is causing them now they're just made of garlic yeah now your ears are made of garlic got to pray them away I knew this would happen okay I'll then my you if you don't mind sending me that prayer later to Yeah, it's a really, really good one. I've been working on it for years. Perfecting it. Because you watch me just decline and you're like, someday she'll need a way out. Yeah. This is a weirdest podcast. Okay, so this is oh, I forgot. Oh my gosh, I meant to read this after well, I'm glad you brought up this review again, that Tracy's review will never leave my mind. No, I mean we've clearly cemented it in everybody's consciousness at this point, but

Lindsay sent a follow-up after that saying okay So after this I had to look at what else Tracy has reviewed this one was wild to me Okay, so I'm just gonna read it. This is of mr. G's pizza. It has nothing to do with chiropractors. It's just another review on this woman's profile and it's a one star. Please people do not go to this place. It is awful. I drove 30 miles to this place and 30 miles back home only to realize my food was contaminated. I would buy, I can only imagine coming out of its third eye or snake slithering through the chakras. No clue.

I drove 30 miles to this place and 30 miles back home only to realize my food was contaminated. So I drove 30 miles back to this godforsaken place to return the food and receive a refund, and then I drove 30 miles back home. I was not offered any compensation whatsoever for gas and the wear and tear on my people. How many miles did they drive? I'm just kidding they drove 30 times. They drove 120 miles for this pizza that they then returned. I wonder how far they are from this place. Dirty miles, what do you mean? I know, it's a joke. Oh, oh, oh.

I'm just like, it's so stupid. Okay, yeah, what? Okay, is there more? Yeah. Good. I was not offered any compensation whatsoever for my gas and the wear and tear on my vehicle. They could have at least offered me a slice of cake. I was told the kitchen manager makes the decisions.

The same kitchen manager that let me be served contaminated food? I am reporting this place to the health department. End of review. I'm so curious what it was contaminated with. Like actually, I know, I probably something like cilantro. Something I was going to say, it was probably like cheese that hadn't fully melted or something like that. But, but yeah, that's just to give you an idea. I drove 30 miles. It's like, nobody asks you to do any of that. Why yeah, that's just, could give you an idea. I drove 30 miles. It's like nobody asks you to do any of that. Why would you drive 120 miles

and then ask the pizza place for wear and tear money for your vehicle? That's like the most, I mean, honestly, it's so much more normal of words than the first review, but it's also like equally unhinged of an expectation of a pizza joint. They probably don't even give that to their delivery drivers. No, yeah, joint. They probably don't even give that to their delivery drivers

Yeah, exactly. They probably barely pay gas for them Boy, that's wild And I think you paid more in wear and tear and gas and your time than you did for that pizza So like big time no doubt no doubt Here is a review. This was sent in by Katie Sheher of Better Pain Solutions. Here is a four star review. So far over the last few weeks, the treatments have helped with my lower back pain, which I have had for years. Four stars because no one is perfect. End of review.

Hey! That feels like the most Catholic school thing ever. Like, you'll never be as perfect as Jesus, but keep trying. Yeah. Hold on. The only business I'm giving five stars is heaven. Oh, God. But it's like it. Yeah. Ask kisser. You know, this guy is has just one review and make of this what you will picture is bushy looking beard

bald with reflective sunglasses sitting in a car it looks like. So I would need to do a scan whenever whenever I see a picture like this, it reminds me of those like, tick tock videos, where men are like, super misogynistic or like really mean and like, basically, especially when they're like rude to like calling someone ugly, who's like, I don't know, like some like model or something, but like because they have a certain view and then like someone screenshots all the comments and all of the men are taking selfies in their cars and they have those reflective sunglasses No, just like complete asshole looking guys. Anyway, sorry

Well, I'm perfect Nobody's perfect. Wow, not even that model on Instagram that I follow. Give me the time of day. Yeah, she would have been perfect Yeah, she sent me some nudes, but whenever I asked for her she get it for him She just doesn't respond And now I have spiders coming out my ass chakras, and I don't know what to do. I know just the guy Do you? This is from Elise and Matt. She heard something great idea Should we get Benjamin's contact info and then send it to Elta? Oh

My god, it's a match made in heaven. Match made in heaven. Elta's husband stand aside. We know the perfect guy for Elta. It's Benjamin. Whoa, Benjamin. Elta has had that problem with snakes and stuff in her chakras.

Yeah, but the thing is, Elta hasn't unlocked many prayers and really wants to unlock a whole set. So this wedding is gonna be so prayerful. Yeah I can't wait. You can't wait to pay to attend that wedding. This is from Elise and Matt. She heard Neham. It's a very short one I just had to include it. It's a high point chiropractic and it's a one-star view This guy is a charlatan. Don't let him irradiate your abdomen. Oh

This review will probably be erased end of review and it's still there. So I Typed in irradiate your abdomen and the internet was really concerned about me. Yeah. Is that why I got that text, that flag of like, you should check on your sister? Yeah, the kids safe browsing setup you put on my mirror set you a red alert that I was looking up like inappropriate health stuff. It was like the 10th this week, but I was curious about that one. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll buy more tokens. To let them irradiate your abdomen. And then I'm like googling it. It's like not anything.

I was not planning on letting this man do that. I thought like maybe there's some weird like, some weird process. I've never, I don't know what this means. I don't know if this is like some QAnon thing probably. I don't know. But I just don't let him do it. Whatever you do, don't let him irradiate your abdomen. I won't. I really hadn't, that was not a fear I had. I never thought that I would let someone do that. I just wanted to make sure. I will never be in a position.

You can let someone, just not this guy. Oh, just not this guy? Yeah. Okay, but Benjamin. Now that is his strength. Remember when he said he doesn't do chord attachments or whatever? Yeah what the fuck was about the chords? Oh my lordy. Yeah it's like they said oh you'll be able to love a lot more once we take this chord out and then it was like they're writing one star. Your one star because your wife's sick of hearing your fucking yappy mouth. I pulled your vocal cords out.

Jesus Christ. Okay this is oh wait do you have any more? Yeah I have one more. This is from Abby She Her ending on redemption I suppose it's five star review. This is of Nubian Family Chiropractic Center in Newark, New Jersey. Here we go. I give Dr. Akil the three p rating. Professional, passionate probity. Well, I guarantee you will experience healing just being in her presence. End of review.

Wow. Wow. Guarantee you can guarantee that. Tracy said that. It's all about the vibes, you know? It's like clearly this this whole deal is about the vibes because people just walk in and go oh yep I'm healed. And I gotta be honest I did not probity when I heard that I was like I know I've heard that name but this is not enough context or that name geez. I was like Alexander. Dr. Probe. It's a little chastity or like temperance. I'm familiar with the word, but I'm like without context. Okay, but what does it make you think of?

Nothing. I didn't like... Severance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it felt very severance for sure. Sorry. This whole thing. Because probity they discuss and is one of the values. That's probably... Oh, that's true. Oh. It's like one of the guidebook values. And I know that because I was like like what does probity mean again?

And then I looked it up and I still don't remember it refers to tried and proven honesty or integrity Like strong moral principle apparently honesty honor integrity Okay, uprightness of character or action Anyway, yeah I don't know what it means So apparent but yeah, I felt very severant this was over seven years ago Anyway. Yeah. That's probably why I don't know what it means. That explains it. Yeah. So apparent, but yeah, it felt very severant. This was over seven years ago.

Wow. And yeah, so it's just very like... The three P's. The three P. The three P rating. And this was this person's only review. Wait, remember when we had that challenge years ago of find reviews where someone uses their own review system rating? Abby mentioned that.

Yes. Abby said that when she sent the things. Yeah, Abbie said this reminds me of that challenge that you did. Cristine I missed that. That was funny. Benji That was such a good one. And this is, the thing is this is this person's only review. Like, so it's like, this is- Cristine So it's like a waste. Come on. Benji In what other way are they using, like where in their life? Cristine The 3Ps. Yeah, where are the 3Ps being

used? It needs to be used more often. Benji Or is this thing within chiropractor or chiro? Maybe it's a thing in New Jersey where this is. I've never heard the three P rating. People with property and we just don't have it. That's it. That must be it. This is my last negative review.

I do have one redemption, but this is from Elise and Matt and it is of the network chiropractic of Acton, and it is a two-star review with an owner response. This is where I just can't believe businesses operate this way. This is where I, this was from seven months ago, and I'm just kind of shocked. I don't know about that.

And you're like, make me the manager. I will do better than this. I'll clean this place up tip-top shape. Vibes will only be impeccable in this. But you'll have to wear earplugs the whole time because you cannot hear all the cracking. You have to like... Oh, I would be actually probably throwing up in my mouth the whole time.

But yeah, so that would be a downside, but it's okay. This is a two-star review by Heather. Despite having come here once two years ago and having a great experience, today's reactivation visit has unfortunately left a bad taste in my mouth. This practice upholds a strict no cigarette smokers rule. Oh sorry I thought I'm sorry. I know what you thought because that's what I thought. You're like you're not allowed to smoke in there. Yeah, and I thought for the whole review, that's what they meant.

And then I read the response and went, oh my God, no, they literally don't allow cigarette smokers as patients. Interesting. Cause they're like. Cause it's not healthy, I guess. Well, okay, but then. Right, I know.

I'm like, that's a thing, you can just do that? I don't think that's legal I don't know maybe it is Okay, it also is fun that she keeps saying a bad taste in my mouth, and I'm like I think everything tastes bad to you. Yeah This practice of whole district no cigarette smokers rule which I totally understand and respect wholeheartedly However, I was not made aware of this prior to my visit today, as I had not smoked two years ago and was never asked prior to my visit today. I don't hold the receptionist accountable

for this error as we are all human, but what left a bad taste in my mouth was the way I was spoken down to by Dr. Deborah and dismissed from the building. While I understand and respect that there are people with scent sensitivities, you would think a professional in this line of work could have been a bit more tactful and kind. I basically got the same disgust and distaste that a leper would receive. What's more, I overheard Dr. Deborah chastising the poor receptionist for not asking about my smoking habits in front of everyone. I most certainly won't come back, however, I hope this review will help the doctor to realize that kindness empathy and understanding can go a long way The only reason I'm not giving just one star is because dr

Barry was wonderful and kind at my first visit I genuinely felt the energy within my system from the non-manipulative approach and also because he didn't belittle me as his wife had at My second and last visit end of review of review. And here's the response from Dr. Dr. what's her name? Deborah. Dear Heather, the fact of the matter is we both like you. And that sounds like you're setting up a threesome, I think, because it's like a married couple, though, whatever. Dear Heather, the fact of the matter is we both like you and we both were looking forward to working with you again. and we were disappointed to discover after you arrived that you had become a cigarette smoker since we last saw you.

This has never happened before with a returning patient that previously has been a non-smoker. It was an awkward experience for all of us, and we do apologize for any stress we created for you. It was never our intention to cause you any discomfort. As a result, going forward, we have created an updated policy to ask returning patients, as well as new patients, if they smoke cigarettes. Out of sincere concern for you, we referred you to another doctor who has a similar style of practice, and we hope you have the healing experience that you deserve. Always the best, Dr. Deborah and Dr. Barry.

Huh. I'm like, what? Deborah and Dr. Barry. Huh? I'm like, what? You think just for a scent smell? Like, is that really it? I don't know. Because they said they just have a policy that it's they don't allow them. I know. And I was like, I can't. And then they were like, Yep, we don't buy. It's like, wait. This guy does see ya. Like, I mean, wow. I will say as considering like addiction to tobacco is an addiction. It's like, and it sounds like how it was handled in the place was awful.

Like, my goodness. And then to post online like, oh, and because of you, we've created an entire new policy that we never had to use before you existed. It's like, Jesus, like, you can't take a break. Think ahead. And we didn't like consider our policies ahead of time. So you dealt with all this shit. So you got to watch us come up with it in front of you. We kicked you out of the building. It's just crazy.

Yeah, I just I don't know. It's just seems so what a strange thing to like draw a line to on cigarette smokers. I don't know. It's just weird that you would never put it in any of the paperwork or like asking or people asking new patients asking This person who's been there before prior patient is completely blindsided by this question. Now suddenly. Yeah, it just feels like so Yeah, it's it's kind of gross. Um, I do have a redemption though. This is from Jess Sheher and at the end It will require you to go to my notes. Oh, I have them open. Don't worry. Good. Okay. This is of the animal chiropractor in Fremont, California. Now, this is where I start to get interested in this whole shindig of medicine. Is that safe?

When I like still in my head when I think chiropractor, I think unsafe because of What we brought to the table today and I know this wasn't a full representation of chiropractics what we talked about Yeah, but now I'm like, oh no, we're doing this to animals. Are these did are these animal smokers? I hope not Oh, can you imagine that? Yeah, what did she say? It was so awkward for all of us. It's like, okay, dr Deborah, oh, yeah, I forgot from the building Everyone and then you berated the receptionist for not asking if she was a smoker. It's just yeah. Anyway, here's a five-star review by Alyssa Cairo has helped my 11 year old lab get her mobility back

My dog Murphy in the past couple of months had taken a major decline in her health and mobility. She kept tweaking her back and wasn't able to go down the stairs. Her quality of life quickly declined and the vet was only able to prescribe Murphy with pain medication. We got her in for an appointment with Meg and after just one adjustment Murphy regained so much mobility and was actually able to go up and down the stairs again. With follow up appointments Murphy has regained all her mobility back

and her quality of life is so much better. She's like a puppy again at 11 years old. I can't put into words how grateful I am for Meg for her patience and care she shows towards my girl, and I do not know where we would be without chiropractic. End of review now, go look at the picture. Oh, that is a happy puppy. Look at, she's using like a theragun.

Like a theragun type thing. Yes. I think it's a lot like it really depends, you know, and it's like if you're doing massage and it's like a back problem, I can see how that would directly help you. I think if maybe you have like halitosis, I mean, I'm using the chiropractor as an example, like maybe take a fact. Do you think that's why she asked about antibiotics? Because the lady had a halitosis and she's like,

you should get antibiotics for that. Maybe. Yeah, no, that's true. But like, you know, I don't know, is it, does it make more sense though to see like a physical therapist or like how- Right, so yeah. I don't know the difference between all of these

and I get very, and like, yeah, I could go get a massage for like any of mine, like lower back pain or whatever, but then it's probably gonna come right back, and like, yeah, I could go get a massage for like any of my like lower back pain or whatever, but then it's probably gonna come right back, you know, and I'd need to get a regular massage or something. I don't know, or work on those muscles. I don't know, I just. That's why I watched Dr. Brenda,

because I'm like, she just feels like every time someone comes in, she's like, let's figure out what we need to do for you. Yeah. I'm like, that's nice. You're like, you know. Yeah. Sometimes it's just a scalp massage. I'm like, that's nice. You're like, you know, yeah, sometimes it's just a scalp massage. I'm like, that's great. And I liked, yes, yeah, I'll take that. I could use a scalp. You know what?

I'll, I'll accept it. You could tell me it's going to detox me. I'm not going to believe you, but I'll just take them to scalp massage because that seems low stakes. Like it's if you're cracking my neck, I fear I might die. If you're massaging my scalp. You have to really give a lot of leeway to the other. Yeah, it's it feels like you're giving them, handing them a lot of power in that moment. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Which is a very vulnerable thing to do. Here, take my neck and like crack it really loud. Snap it sideways. Yeah, it is. It like crack it really loud. Snap it sideways. Yeah. It's like crazy to watch. Are we done with our chiropractics? We are.

Good, because I've got a voicemail for us. Oh, yay. This voicemail is from Emma. Let's hear what Emma has to say. Hi, Christine and Zandi. I used to work at a grocery store chain, pretty big one here in Texas, and I was a part of the curbside department. And I was shopping some of the orders going through the store, and an old white man walked

up next to me and said, Oh, wow, the perfect job for a woman, shopping. I was totally shocked. And as a people pleaser, I didn't really know what to say because I didn't want to hurt his feelings for some reason and so I just ended up being like ha ha ha ha and kind of fake laughing along with him and then he stood next to me the next five minutes while He told me the story about how his ex-wife Wasted all his money on shopping. So that you'd like that. I love that. Thanks for thinking of me. I love that.

Thanks for thinking of me. Oh my God. That's like one of those fucking exact, like that's like, you couldn't come up with a more perfect like most boomer nonsense thing you've ever heard. And then I feel like that's the kind of thing where they're like, it's just a joke. Like people don't get jokes anymore And it's like I just don't even if it's a joke. It's like not funny even. Yeah funny. You get funnier. I Wonder why I got divorced though. That's weird. Yeah, I know

I love how it's like yeah that ex-wife of mine's like the whole women women be shopping. It's like It's like what year is it my god It's like women be shopping. You know, it's like what year is it? My god. Oh my god Like also aren't you at the store? Like what are you doing? You know, like I don't know his wife left him You know true. So he has to go himself. Yes. I got my himself. But I mean like it's a It's like there's a perfectly good pickup Grocery pickup as we just heard from Emma. Yeah, so why not just do that? Have the women do the shopping for you. Put it in the trunk. Maybe that is actually what he was doing now that, yeah.

I don't know. Why else would he be there five minutes? Oh wait, because he doesn't have boundaries and doesn't understand why he might be bothering someone. Well, she laughed, so she deserved it. Just kidding. True, true. I feel like that's its own layer of trauma. Every time something like this happens where it's like, then you go home and you have to sit with that I feel like that's its own layer of trauma like every time something like this happens where it's like then you go

Home and you have to like sit with that feeling of like and I just laughed it off and it's like well That's a trauma response. Yeah, and no one can blame you for that one No, no, but it's so easy to blame yourself to be like I should have said something and it's like Sometimes you're trapped. Okay, like even just mentally like you don't know what to do. And like also even physically like, men just, I don't know. Now if a bear had approached you in the aisle, I would have had a different, what year is it? Yeah, Christine's behind on the times.

Oh my gosh. Anyway, what a good one though. Thank you Emma, and I'm sorry also about that. Yeah, you did do that once to someone, huh? Yeah, I'm sorry about that time that I did that that once to someone huh? Yeah I'm sorry about that time that I did that. You did this exact same thing. Women be shopping. Women be shopping you said. And I apologized because I was like I don't know what I'm doing. And then so did the shopper it was a whole thing. It was we stood there for

about five minutes yeah. Oh was that you? Was Emma protecting your identity? Oh my god it was me the whole time. I thought you were saying it was you. Oh no. And then I was like, oh my god, it was us the whole time. It will be us on tour when we go to Texas at that Texas grocery store. H and B? H?

What is it called? H Mart? Oh, H-E-B? Is that a thing? I think so. Where's Piggly Wiggly? Is that also down there? Oxener.

I know that's Southern. I don't know if we're gonna get in really big trouble. Stop. H-E-B? Is that a thing? I think so. Um, where's Piggly Wiggly? Is that also down there? Oxener. I know that's Southern. I don't know if we're gonna get in really big trouble. Stop. This is my challenge. Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, I like this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good one. It's basically find reviews, uh, mentioning other customers rather than, or complaining about other customers rather than, uh, the actual establishment.

And I got a bunch of entries. I have a couple here. And I just realized we didn't have a single one of those in our chiropractors actually. Any? Oh! You know? Did we not? I don't think we did. I think every complaint was about was about the provider Yeah, doctor. I don't know which ones were actual doctors. I don't Yeah provider of spells and prayers. I know Benjamin was a doctor. Yeah

Okay, right, of course. Sorry my mistake PhD and I had a demonic studies. That's yeah Well, how many he has three degrees, the third one. I thought the review, wait, is the reviewer Benjamin? No. Oh. Sorry, I just was saying, I don't know. Because I was like, am I setting, I got to make sure I'm setting Elta up with the right guy.

We wouldn't want to set her up with someone with spiders in their third eye. Can you imagine if we were responsible for that? Elta's problem. Whose strength isn't taking them out but has other strengths. Oh my god you're so right. I'm sorry you're challenging me. The court attachments are like really healthy you know.

So this is oh my god okay so this is let's see what I have first. From Christine, she, her and this is of a Costco in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Of course Costco was a big hit with complaining about customers. Three stars by Paul, a local guide of Allentown. Slow. Customers at this shop are in the way. Slow, sloppy, and not too too bright you are in another dimension So be prepared and of reveal man. So that's just more of a general

And I do love like what we always mention that like you complain about the traffic But you're sitting in your car and it's like it's like you're like at Costco Like why is everyone so like in the way and not so bright and yeah, it's like well aren't you don't you have the executive membership there? Aren't you an executive member? Are you there every single day? Yeah, yeah Paul. Yeah, and yeah, I was there today to pick up a prescription and so I always feel like I'm not part of the problem because I'm there for the pharmacy.

It's expediency. I don't have a cart. I'm just walking up. Don don't have a cart. I'm just walking up. Don't even have a cart, right? Of course I am because I'm in the building, but in my head, I'm like, when I'm weaving through people, I'm like, that's fine. I can just weave through. Even at the exit, even at, well, yeah, I always do that, but like even at the exit, when they're

checking like huge carts, I like flash my little pharmacy bag and they let me go to the front because like all they have to do is like mark the receipt and let me out. And then he's like, hang on a minute. And he pulls something from underneath and it's just a pallet of like 400 groceries. Just like, gotcha. Just like, pull it out of nowhere. Yeah, it's really crazy. Well, you had a pickup order that Emma went and stashed for you. So you were just like, had to go pay for that. Yeah. And I was like, no, the woman shopped for me. The woman did it. The woman did the shopping. I just I went to the pharmacy. But she's so good at it. That's why we let her do it you know.

If you didn't listen to our little voicemail you're missing all the jokes okay. I wonder if anyone skips it. Don't put that in my head now. I'm like oh I know I hope not. I love these voicemails but they can skip what they want. Except ads. We'll make them feel left out. Yeah, better not skip those. That's the best part. Can you imagine if we got actually upset

that people skipped our ads? I used to when I first started podcasting and I'm like, but I try so hard on the ads. And then I started listening to way more podcasts and it was like, oh hell no. I will say I do listen to the ads when I listen to our show or like people that I know personally. i for some reason in my head i'm trying to do something nice i don't think it makes a difference that's why i don't listen to podcasts

i don't like the ads just kidding i just don't listen to you just do it for the articles i know that's what you always say i only like the ads when i listen to podcasts oh god yeah i'm sure you would the ads when I listen to podcasts. Oh god, yeah, I'm sure you would. Okay, this is, that's why you're like just sitting on your Helix mattress with when drinking liquid IV. I've got my science kit. What's it science? Fucking little kid's science kit. Oh my god, Kimi- why do I not have that yet?

I want that as a sponsor. Hey, Hey somebody. Wow. Okay. Sorry. I love that we didn't mention any of our sponsors. I know. Wait a minute. That's like how bad I am at doing this job. Okay. Let's see. I don't even know. Okay. This is from Stephanie Shithe. It's of a bar called vintage and

This is a four-star review by AJ called good for drinks Was here as two couples we all had drinks in the outside area It was funny when I walked in with a camera the hostess said no photos I guess the other people who come here are either having an affair or think they are important and want their privacy. Either way, good for drinks and people watching. Maybe not as good as the original SoHo area in New York City, but good nonetheless. End of review. Where is this located?

In New York City, I think? Somewhere in New York City. I don't know. I did not understand that comment. Okay, but what do I know? Wow, yeah, it's true though, that really only important people deserve privacy. That's true. I think- And it's not just if you think you're important, it's if you're actually important by AJ's standards. Yeah, yeah.

Junior here knows what's up, knows who the important people really are. And so he just- Or they're having an affair with- Yeah, wait, that's the only other option. knows who the important people really are and he so he just or they're having an affair with that now that now that he's like I can understand that but certainly not everyone here is having an affair yeah he's like I saw Ashley Madison League like it wasn't everybody it was a lot of people it was most of us but it wasn't everybody yeah at least that table I can tell they're not having

an affair and I can take their picture because of that. They don't, because they're already married and everyone knows it, I'm allowed to take their picture. It's just like, what are you doing? And then you're like, oh, who cares if who needs their privacy anyway, I like to people watch here. It's like, so you're actively people watching

and saying it's really enjoyable. And then you're like, why would I care about taking their photo? I mean, it seems like you're really actually interested in taking their photo, the way you're acting. And I would hope you'd ask them first, regardless of the host's opinion and rules. I doubt it.

Probably not. No, if they're not important, why would he ask for their permission? Yeah. Okay. I have another one here. This is from Elise and Matt. Now this one is the first one that's about another customer specifically rather than

like just a group of, you know, or like a general generalization. So this is a place in Boston that I've not heard of, but it has four, well, that's why. It has $4 signs on Yelp. I was like, that's strange. I know a lot of the restaurants, not those ones. This is Smith and Wolensky, a steakhouse. And it has like a three and a half star rating on Yelp out of 587 reviews.

So like not great, but I don't know probably pretty standard for just like a steakhouse. It's a one-star review by TJ. I've ate at this establishment several times in the past and have never had any major issues but today I was treated to the most horrifying experience of my life without even an explanation or an apology. I had just completed my meal with my family while vacationing in Boston and paid the bill and stopped to use the facilities prior to departing. While using a locked stall, the maitre d comes into the restroom with a child and another gentleman and breaks into my locked stall.

I mean yeah. Breaking into my locked stall, telling me there was an emergency forcing me to dress and vacate the restroom while there was an un forcing me to dress and vacate the restroom while there was an unoccupied stall with the door wide open next to my locked stall. I've been told that people on the east coast are rude and inconsiderate but this was a new low. This is not rude and inconsiderate, this is like illegal and like illegal and traumatizing. Um anyway uh this is a new low, especially to a paying customer.

The only thing I can think is that he thought I wasn't a paying customer. I'm like, that's what you think? No, I don't think they were even- I would hope not. I would hope that this wouldn't be normal for anyone. No, no, right? Like that doesn't even make any sense.

But I was, and regardless, you don't force a locked stall open without some sort of warning, apology or explanation. End of review. So what do you mean? They were screaming, emergency, right? That's not an explanation. It's definitely a warning. It's like a very short warning. But to force him to like dress while he's using the bathroom and like vacate the. I mean, that like that's horrifying. Yeah, especially if there's another stall.

Like what is happening? I would never want to use a public bathroom again if someone forced their way in screaming emergency. And coming as a public bathroom is even a stretch. Like it's like, you know, it's just- And a private business. You should expect it to be like this, you know, like at anywhere let alone-

I really can't wrap my head around like there was an open stall unoccupied with the door wide open next to my bathroom. No, like that is insane to me. I wonder if it was like they wanted the bathroom to themselves, like, so get out, you know what I mean? Yeah. Which is like also not how that works. But still, which is wild, but like you should at least they would,

you'd like to think that they'd say something like, or do something. Like, I don't know this is just such a bizarre situation and a gentleman and a child I'm like what's happening yeah like who's too many cooks in the kitchen I'm too many cooks that's what they say yikes so anyway that just seemed really unappealing to me all of that I would hope so yeah just to confirm for everyone. Well, last last week's episode, your idea of a prank was putting a camera in your in your family's family bathroom. Not my family. Whenever that lady's family was. Oh, sorry. Yeah, you putting a camera

in that lady's family's. I had no agency whatsoever in that hypothetical story. I think since it was your hypothetical story, I think you're the only one who had agency there. I invented it. I wrote it. Yeah. I guess I did have a little bit of say. This is from Allie Sheher and it sort of fits the challenge, but it's just, it was too

good. It's about other people, not necessarily customers. You know what? I don't care. It's gonna be great. Okay good. I'm ready for what Ali brought us. Fantastic. This is called Definitely a Yes, Perfect Size for an Apartment or Den by R&S Verified Purchaser. What is this stuff? Oh sorry, I didn't even tell you. It's a couch from Costco. Okay. Ali was couch shopping. They're in the Costco. Okay. Okay. Ali was couch shopping there in the in the

house because they in the mood for a new couch. They're in the market for a new couch. They're in the mood. She's really feeling herself. So she went to Costco. Well, I mean, listen, I get it. I've been there, you know, we can't do we're not doing Target. Where else am I gonna go? My biggest post-breakup purchase when I was feeling down was a very comfortable chair. It's important.

Like a comfy chair. And it took like nine years to get there. Oh yeah, it was like months late. Like I was so invested in the story at that point. And I spent, I was like, I can't afford this, but I need it. I don't need it, but it's the best thing I own it makes me very happy and I'm very excited about it Do you think that to be I just had a thought because that experience?

I feel like is what we read over and over and over again on like trust pilot or what have you But then I think about you and I think about me who have had experiences like that But would never after all that have the energy To write a review like that but would never after all that have the energy to write a review like that about the whole experience. I wouldn't want to write it out and like even revisit it but some people do and I had the thought do you think it's extrovert versus introvert? Do you know why I say that? No why? Because I feel like for us it's very draining to feel like that kind of like putting out that effort like it's an effort yeah yeah and feel like worrying or like trying to deal with customer service like it's very

exhausting but i think some people get like fired up by that and want to like expend their energy i i also say this because i took leona to a play date and i was shocked i'd never really seen an extrovert in action what this? This is a real thing. I really, my mind was fucking blown. I went with Leona. I'm friends with the mom, and she's friends with the daughter. So we went to do like a double play day. I've never really done that.

But I was like, oh, this is fun. You know, they both. So it was great. What were you playing with, like blocks or? We were actually at an arcade. So it was really cool. Are you fucking kidding me? No, and then we got our nails done. I was like, wow, so it was really cool. Are you fucking kidding me? No, and then we got our nails done.

I was like, wow, I should have more friends. This is cool. And so, yeah, it was great. So it was really fun and we all had a great time and we got home and I was like so exhausted. Leona was so hyper and for the rest of the day, like she was, she had to go to the trampoline park to like get her energy out.

And I was like, I could not, I could lay here and not move for six hours and be like perfectly happy. And I'm, and Blaze was like, I can't believe she's not tired. And I thought- Ben- She was like rejuvenated by it. By social.

Yeah, yes. And I had asked the mom friend that I was with that day about, because she's like, oh, I'm an extrovert. And I said, you are? Like, cause I was like, I really don't know that many extraverts. I was like, Oh, like, what, what does it like? She goes, Oh, I need to be out seeing people all the time. Otherwise, like I have no energy.

And I'm like, excuse me? Like that just seems totally counter to my entire experience in life. So it's just like energy vampires who are like, they suck your energy out. Yeah, they take my energy, that's right. Whoa. No, but it's like to watch, and then Blaze and I are both so beat, and she's just like, and she's tired,

like physically tired, but like her brain is like all worked up, you know? And it's like, I don't know how people do it. Like Em, when we do a meet and greet, Em afterwards for hours is like out and like staying up late and is like so worked up and jazzed about seeing all those people and meanwhile I'm like I need to go to my hotel room and just cry for a few minutes for no reason and then fall asleep while watching TV. But it's like this total, anyway, I wonder when I read these things and I'm like how do you have the energy to

write about all of those horrible things that happen? I'm like maybe they're extroverts They're feeding off that energy that they're yeah that bad customer service experience. Anyway, I'm so sorry that was so completely Tangential to everything but Here's our view of a couch. Okay. Good. Oh, yeah, I forgot where we were So I was like trying to wrap it up. Yeah brain. I could see you trying to find your way and I was like, don't worry, close your eyes.

I'll lead the way. Thank you, thank God. We love this couch. Super firm, but I love it that way. Nothing good about melting on a new couch that you can't get back up. This one is perfect. Easy to change into a queen bed too.

Size is perfect for us in an over age 55 apartment. Very smart looking too. If you have a large apartment by two they fit together nicely. The size is perfect here at Prescott Lakes Apartments in Prescott. Price was great. I can tell the quality is nice and it will last. Color is perfect. I wish my walls were painted a light gray. Can you help? Ha ha These apartments are wonderful, especially due to the management and safety I don't like when reviewers break the fourth wall. It makes me deeply uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't like being talked to No, I don't know that it's ever happened this directly like asked a question of me

Yeah, like where they've reached out and expected me to respond and that feels very unsettling to me. Can you help? Ha ha, okay. These apartments are wonderful, especially due to the management and safety. Everyone here watches out for each other. Great tenants and great management. The two people working in the office are excellent to us. If there's a matter, they are on it immediately. I'd say their names, but I'd probably need their okay with it first. Oops, I got off track. Are they having an affair? Is that why? They need their privacy. Yeah, this is a no photo zone because it's an over 55 community where everyone's having an affair. That makes sense. That's why you need such a firm couch, you know what I'm saying?

Old people have figured out. To turn into a queen bed at a moment's notice? Yeah, and the problem is, with especially- I don't see any problems. No, no, no. The problem with the softer ones, you talk about like getting in, can't get out, imagine two elders on that house. Imagine.

They'd be on the floor. When you're that old, you can't get off the floor that easily. And the life alert is just like, had been discarded in the midst of passion. Yes. You know, so it's like, unless there's a way. Because the last three times they accidentally pressed it

and the ambulance came. And honestly, being on that stretcher was so embarrassing. Thank God nobody is allowed to take pictures. Yeah, that won't be us at our Orlando show after your chiropractic session on your stretcher You wouldn't take being wheeled in the nude with the life alert Okay, I wasn't bringing those parts into it, but yeah 55 community. Although in Florida, I feel like that's really like, oh, I feel like they're probably like 55 to 60 communities, 60 to 65. I feel like they're probably much more niche than there's so many of them in each bracket.

Yeah, that makes sense. Like you'd need a little more specificity. OK, yeah. So then like after after 10 years you have to move out is that how it works well i actually that doesn't really it doesn't no no it doesn't okay um let's see the two okay i would say their names but i probably need their okay first even though you listed literally the entire name of the complex and the city it's in, but alright. Oops, I got off track. If you need a couch with a bed for your living area in an apartment or den, you'd love this

couch. Looks so nice. I slept on the couch last night to check it out. It was great. You'd be happy with this couch as we sure are. End of review. He's talking to you there. Hey, leave me out of it, please. I've had enough of breaking the floor. I can't be addressed any longer as part of this. Can I address you?

Honestly, I'm not even really comfortable with that. Okay, that's fine. Okay, this is from Christine again. This is of a Walmart though this time. And it's my last one because it is a redemption and it just needed to be, for once, I'm gonna do something good and leave us with a happy note. Aw. For now, yeah. He doesn't believe me quite yet, but it's true. Okay, this is of Walmart Walmart five stars by Michelle.

Outstanding customer service from Kathleen at Walmart Money Center. I cannot say enough about the incredible customer service my friend Pam and I received from Kathleen at the Walmart Money Center. We were extremely stressed after struggling to log into the app, And every call we made for assistance left us feeling more frustrated. Then we met Kathleen and everything changed. She took the time. Sorry. Wow. I'm sorry. I'm getting a little choked up. Yeah.

This is at the money center in the Walmart. Yeah. Okay. Is that where you like exchange? Like what? I think it's like where you like exchange? Like what? I think it's like where you- Take coins in or something?

Like I don't know. Walmart money center. I think it's like you can get your tax deposit. Oh yeah. They probably mean it's Walmart. They probably do everything. They have like everything. Yeah. I think it's just like where you do all wire transfers, I think.

So it's like Walmart banking. It's kind of like Walmart banking. I think probably like a teller. Yeah. But I will also say this was written also three weeks ago. So it feels like this is a very current situation. So if anyone wants to get some outstanding customer service at the Walmart Money Center, Kathleen's the way to do it.

Kind of tempted now. I don't have any clue where this is. But you will find it eventually if you keep trying and asking for something that can't be That many Kathleen's working at Walmart's, right? Here we go, okay Then we met Kathleen and everything changed She took the time to listen patiently to Pam who is a senior citizen

She's the first one to ever do that. And Pam does not deserve it. Pam's such a dumb bitch. She doesn't deserve the time of day, but then Kathleen gets, she's such a saint, she even gives Pam the time. Saying that right after saying everything changed, it'd be like someone was treated Pam with respect. That's right.

I was wondering why it seemed so often tonally. And that's why because everything changed, meaning suddenly somebody cared about Pam for once in her life. I love you, Pam. Oh, no, poor Pam. Oh, my God. You think Pam's the only customer at Walmart that's named Pam? It's going to be there's nobody else named Pam. They're certainly not. Pam and Kathleen. What's gonna be, there's nobody else named Pam. There's certainly not.

Pam and Kathleen, what a good match though. I mean, she took the time to listen patiently to Pam who is a senior citizen. Pfft. And so. Yeah. It just gets worse. I thought you heard that part.

Normally I don't listen to senior citizens but. I said it. This thing. Yeah. I know. Like they're not saying all this. I thought you heard that part. Normally I don't listen to senior citizens, but... I said it. Like they're not saying all this, but it just sounds like they're saying so much of this when they're really not. It just sounds like it. Oh my god. I mean, she didn't say we are senior citizens. She said fans of senior citizens, so I don't know.

No fourth wall breaking. No that's right. She took the time to listen patiently to Pam who was a senior citizen and truly understand the issue with her check instead of rushing us off or brushing us off. What else can I add? Oh, a B. Rushing and brushing. It doesn't even say. It doesn't even say off. Okay. Let me reread it. Instead of rushing us or brushing us off, Kathleen showed genuine kindness and went above and beyond to help. Her friendly and compassionate attitude turned a frustrating situation into a positive experience. Kathleen is a shining example of what great customer service should be. Walmart is lucky to have such a dedicated and caring employee and we are beyond grateful

for her help." End of review. Isn't that nice? That was really nice. Yeah. Even nice to Pam for once. I know and that's a whole new world for everybody as we can all agree. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Nothing like it. Anyway, so that's that. Thank you to everyone who submitted and helped out with the theme and challenge. Yeah, this was fun is one way to put it. This was a this was an episode. I had fun but I'm kind of concerned about what we just put out there, you know? That feels exactly correct. Yeah, I'm like afraid to edit it. Like I'm afraid to relist and be like, what the fuck happened?

Certainly don't envy you, I'll put it that way. Oh man, well, y'all make it up to me by buying tickets to our show. Please. We are so excited to go on tour, it's gonna be so much fun. 16 cities, beachtosandy.com slash tour. We really can't wait.

And yeah, y'all just have been so exciting. Maybe we'll actually have to get some, go to Runza or something in Omaha. Like, we'll make plans, y'all. We'll make plans. Some of you had sent some great suggestions and emails for places to go, things to do. So yeah, just really looking forward to that. And patrons patrons thank you for buying tickets early I'll be zooming in from my hospital but

practic appointment so I might just be there virtually you know I'm going to fly to my runs a don't worry okay I'll be there good as long as you as long as you make it there but, thanks everyone patreon.com Beach you sandy to get bonus episodes and we're gonna record another naughty video Why? At least we plan to so that'll come out this month at some point along with a bonus episode So check us out check us out there and yeah, thanks for listening everyone. See you later.