Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 340: Reviews of Hard Seltzer

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

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Conditions apply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. This is a podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandi Hi, I'm ex teen and we're delighted to be joining you today for episode 340

Yeah, our first episode of pride month. So of course we had to do a pride related theme Hard seltzers. Yeah. Well, it was also my birthday or it is happy birthday to me. Oh, that's true, too It's all right today It's not always about you. It's not always but on my birthday. It is literally on you coming out on your birthday That's literally coming out on my birthday. Happy pride everybody Surprise Oh my gosh. Surprise. I'm bisexual. Just kidding. That was already happening.

OK, here's here's like you said, I'm going to cut it. So it just says, just kidding. Just kidding. Cut the rest of it. Isn't that a funny joke? Wait, what? It's like Pink said that in a she had some speech. Pink, the singer. Yeah, I'm clear to everyone else. I don't know why but and she said I'm gay and like the crowd starts like cheering and she's like I'm

not so bizarre why did she do that I don't know I don't know what to do it but it's hilarious I don't even know the context. I only see that clip. That's me on my that's my platform That's it. Oh, I'm gay. I'm not eradicate all ocean worms man Get my mom's game. I stand for a lot of values. Okay We have to say something before we get into the hard seltzer Zandy. Yeah, true true true You say it I True, true, true.

You say it. I... Why would you, why would I say it? Because, well, OK, here's the thing. We unfortunately had no choice, but well, I left us with no choice, but to move the Texas dates. And I feel fucking terrible about it. I'm sorry. They were just in a place that I accidentally

hadn't planned properly with some other big life changes that are happening and moves that are happening, not moves, but moves in a more, you know, moves. Like, she's a mover and shaker is what she's trying to say. Right. So she's moving and shaken. There's just a do not be yourself off. Shit happens. And like, shake moving shows before they happen. Like, yes, it sucks.

I feel bad for anyone who had tickets and now can't go. Yes. It's not ideal. But like people who couldn't go before might be able to go now. And like it happens. and I don't know I'm knowing our audience I am sure they are giving you much grace as you deserve thank you I hope so because I do feel pretty shitty if anybody they know that like they I think they know you by now to be like oh that sucked for her to do She was not feeling good about that because you were like us so long to tell you we were felt kind of awkward Then we made an Instagram post that I spent way too long making

So I'm trying to atone for my sins. It didn't help that we found out that we could announce it The day or the evening after we had already recorded like the next two episodes. Oh, yeah. So we're but that's what happened. It wasn't like we were hiding. It was like, oh, shit. And I was like, I don't know. I'm not going to tell them. You do it. It's my it's my job. It's my duty. So anyway, we moved to Texas States. They're now in October.

If you have a ticket, please check your email, because the venue should be alerting you to this. If you do have a ticket and you can make the new date, that's great. Don't worry. You're in the clear. And if you have a ticket and you'd like a refund, that should also be possible if you're not able to make it to the new date. And either way, if you want to check out the specifics, go to bhtsandy.com and you can

see our dates there. And we have three Texas dates so we moved them around but they are still happening so that's the good news. That's what was ideal so it worked out it worked out Houston on October 7th Plano on the 8th and then Austin on October 9th. That's right. So, looking forward to those and looking forward to Florida in like less than two weeks. No, exactly two weeks. I gotta start researching. Oh, I'm already done.

It's been crazy. Yeah, I know. I'm still gonna keep looking just to make sure I've got the cream of the crop. However, I've got some absolutely insane ones. I can't wait. And like with a new tour and a new year of doing this, I feel like we're only getting better and better at finding things and knowing what like we're holding our process. You know, oh, I was thinking our powers. But yes, we're honing our powers.

Yeah, we're sharpening our skills and our tools. Yeah. And we're homing in on the best reviews. Thank you. You're welcome. This is from Austin Sheher. It's a review of White Claw Green Apple Surge. I don't know why there... I've heard things about that one.

You did? In my research, yes. Is that the tequila kind or something? No, I thought it was this green apple white claw. No, no, it's surge, though. White Claw Surge. Oh, it has more alcohol in it. It says 8% instead of 5%. That's oh, that's deeply insane.

Yeah. Or I'm not. That's it. As in, that's the only amount. That's it. I meant like, oh, that's the only difference. Because when I think surge, I think that soda that existed. Well, it says it has an even stronger green apple punch oh goody just what everyone wants yeah it's also your ticket to unforgettable nights so if that's what you're looking in a good way or bad way alexander they're not gonna make that too many it's gonna be very forgettable i'm pretty sure that's on you

I'm pretty sure that's on you So here is a one-star review of this This is by Jenna. I Had this yesterday If I could give it negative stars I would if I had the choice between drinking this again or eating a cat that has been dead in the side of the road For a week. I would chose the cat end of review Jesus two people helpful three people didn't Okay, it's a wash. I think that is not a fair That's not fair. It should not be two to three. That fight should not should be very lopsided

I mean, but then it tells me everything I need to know it's very helpful. Yeah, it is helpful, but then the the The description says it's for unforgettable nights, so I don't know what went wrong Hopefully hopefully Jenna remembers. Actually, she probably won't never forget. So maybe you're right. Maybe it was just kind of in a bad way. Maybe Jenna did have a taste of that cat that night. Oh God.

That just, it wasn't about that being bad. It was just, you know what? That cat's just really good tasting. Alex and I, go on. I just can't help myself. Stop it, read us Read a review. This is a review sent in by Abby She Her. This is a Flying Embers Margarita Variety Pack. Oh, gosh. OK. One star review by Tony. Reviewed on Total Wine dot com for all your Flying Embers Margarita Variety Pack needs. Wonderful. The next worst thing to the devil himself. You ever tasted a moldy strawberry that got drunk at a bar and hooked up with a

used lime from the Vietnam War? That's basically what all four of these flavors tasted like. If it was between this drink and death row, then I would be dead and gone. End of review. Jesus. This is when I'm like, you know what? AI will never replace us. Exactly. That kind of thing. You can can't AI will never be that no fucking creative. Oh, I'm crazy I thought but yes creative. Yeah, yeah, well they sound the same

Yeah, what is what was I'm sorry? I got so distracted by the end. What was the? Statement that was pretty wild. Oh if you've ever tasted statement that was pretty wild. Oh, if you've ever tasted a strawberry, that's what I mean. That's why I'm lost. Moldy strawberry that got drunk at a bar and hooked up with a used lime from the Vietnam War. Good. Which, famously, you know, that's what limes did. I don't know what that means.

The constrictscription service Yeah The citrus Okay, okay, we'll workshop that one It's really not worth it. Yeah Yeah, that's a weird thing I don't think that even sounds that bad to me like if someone said here's like basically a wine cooler drink and it tasted like kind of a moldy strawberry. Yeah, like that I feel like is what a boozy wine cooler would taste

like. Yeah. Kind of like a rotten strawberry. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like that gross. There's a grossness to it. Yeah, of course. It has to be if it's Alcoholic. Yeah, that's how I think. Yeah, I mean I think like it's not just like supposed to be juice, you know So I think it probably has some kind of lingering taste and something you're in mold flavor. Yeah Gross, I like I'm like what's wrong with that? Okay, so Alexander I don't know if you came across this two people sent these in not they them and shrew me She her it's a brand called hard ketones Pina colada seltzer. No, okay. So these are Alcohol alternatives, but they're seltzers and they're

Hard seltzers, but they're not alcoholic. They just make seltzers taste bad Correct got it, but there's more oh There I need to read you the way I Vomited in my mouth when I read this please listen to this. This is what it's called. It's called hard ketones. Pina colada seltzer. Do you know about ketones? No, sounds like a do-op group.

Oh, the ketones. Yeah. The mellow ketones. So ketones are it's like this is one of these health fads. Basically, keto diet is have to do with it? I do think they're somehow connected. I'm not sure. Keto mean what? I think that's different.

A ketone is like it says when you're fasting, I think it's like for intermittent fasting, that kind of thing. And so they say you can put, it's kind of like pseudo sciency, I think from what I understand. But I mean, seriously, like, this sounds like pseudo-science-y, I think, from what I understand. Careful. I mean, seriously.

People, these sounds like a group that would get very defensive. That's fine. You can come at me because let me read you their top highlights on the product details, okay? Yeah. Introducing Keto Haul, an alcohol alternative with a real buzz without the booze. Unwind tonight and still wake up fresh tomorrow 4.5 percent keto hall zero carbs 90 calories

0.0 percent alcohol zero sugar and zero caffeine Keto hall is one point of it. I sorry 90 calorie gross tasting drink. How does it give you a buzz? Keto Hall is 100% ketogenic. Raising blood ketones, 1 to 2 lowercase m big M. Oh. Parentheses, a keto diet is not required. What if like the vegan stuff I buy at the grocery store is like, hey, vegan diet not required. You can still eat this. It won't kill you. Keto Hall converts in the liver to ketones.

A molecule, I'm sorry, I rolled my eyes. I rarely do that, but it like, I couldn't help myself. This sounds like Scientology. That's what I'm saying, okay? A molecule the body makes naturally during fasting that promotes longevity Not recommended for athletic performance. It's more for relaxing and then this is the last bullet That's my favorite one. By the way, it's called taste announcement Taste announcement.

Our drink's unique taste has sparked diverse reactions. Bartenders praise its authentic flavor. Bullshit! Sorry, couldn't control that. You're so mad about this. This is making me crazy mad. I have no idea what's going on. Bartenders praise its authentic flavor while others find the taste challenging.

If it's not to your liking initially, try customizing it. A splash of lime from Vietnam. A splash of lime can transform the taste and a dash of Splenda can soften any bitterness. Oh dear God. Dear God. Grapefruit packets are another popular add-on. Experiment to find your perfect mix we also offer an unfruit packet I don't know they do they sell them like I don't understand what a great fruit

It must be one of their products. We also offer an unsweetened no added flavor option called doctor up Unsweetened no flavor. No. Yeah. Yep. Just so you can get 90 calories. I don't understand. This is the grossest drink. It's called Real Buzz. No booze.

And I think it's like, I don't know if ketones are supposed like CBD. I was going to say it's got to do something. There's got to be more than a point, more of a point than it says you get buzz. Okay, let's talk about this. Contains no rum or caffeine. Well, yeah, I would hope not. What's an alter alcohol alternative molecule?

Okay, here we go. I found it. Oh my God, Alexander, please, please. Introducing KetoHaul, trademark. Alcohol reinvented. Heart ketones offers a unique buzz without alcohol, THC, kratom, cava, or herbal elixirs. It features patented KetoHaul.

Originally researched for therapeutic use because it increases blood ketones. It was discarded because, quote, the mice were stumbling. Oh my god. That's hilarious. Frank, the CEO, revived the molecule and thought people might want a healthier buzz that suppresses appetite with no hangover.

That's hilarious. They were like, oh, wow, the mice are getting drunk. Yeah. Or they were like, or having nerve damage. Let's give it to humans. Thanksgiving Day and the mice are getting drunk. What? I have no idea.

This is crazy. Alcohol kicks you out of ketosis. Keto hall is truly ketogenic and will raise blood ketones one to two mil mm per can but this isn't just for keto people Consider skipping dinner what? That's our advice Before drinking this ketone makes ketones and appas appetizer press it consider skipping dinner. Oh dear god Fucking advice is that? Yeah That's wild okay. Well, I'm glad we learned so much about keto hall and the mice that

That stumbled that loved it or like The mice that stumbled. Okay. Let me read you one review of it and then you can go. It's a short one one start Verified purchase by winter. It's called Disgusting chemical taste made me violently ill The flavor is ginger mule stevia Let's let that sink in. Uh-uh If I could give negative stars, I would the taste is Indescribably awful and lingers for hours. No matter matter what you do It made me violently ill and gave me an instant headache

This is literally the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth and I've tasted some questionable things Curious you could not pay me to try this You try it for free if you if someone else bought it for me, I would try it I would not I would 100% try it because I I'm so curious my throat swell up the thing is with Every all this shit like shit like this and just weird flavor. There is something for everybody. There's some freaks out They're probably some listening this podcast who are like, you know what? I love that weird shit like that can't be good for you. Whatever's in here skip for that I don't know. I not that alcohol is good for you, right?

Okay, so like this might be better for you than alcohol. Right my point immediately goes like flat however, I figure You might as well just have a fucking gin if this is about your diet That's that like that makes me sad if this is about your diet, that makes me sad. If this is about not drinking, fantastic. Or like, you know, something- Especially if you like it. If you enjoy it, right, exactly.

Like, fantastic. But it's just like when it's like, don't worry, you can skip dinner because it'll suppress your appetite. It's like, come on, let's be real. Don't eat that for dinner. Don't eat a Stevia Ginger Mule ketone drink trademark for dinner.

Yeah, I- What kind of dystopian bullshit is this? That sounds terrible. Right? It's one thing to have like meal replacements for time or like, yeah, whatever, but like, this sounds disgusting. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

And it feels like it stumbled upon it by accident. Yeah. And it doesn't feel, I mean, you know, whatever, maybe it's a new hit thing, but it did have an average of 3.3 stars on Amazon. If they're acknowledging that people are quote unquote challenged by the taste or whatever. They're not acknowledging it. They made a taste announcement. Oh, sorry, they announced that so many complaints

That's why when I said they had to make an announcement about how bad it tastes But they said bartenders really like it because they know about good tasting alcohol and it's like but they're not the ones who buy the Alcohol and they also don't drink stevia. What are you talking about? It's like So mad right now. Bartenders love it, but they can't sell it to anybody else. In what universe does that make any sense? I don't know. They're trying to get you on the,

you should start liking it if you wanna be true to the taste of alcohol. I guess. Some weird shit, okay. It doesn't even sound like it tastes like alcohol. Yeah, I don't know. I don't I will. I'm willing to find out. I'm just not spending money to find out.

I would rather drink the the green apple punch and punch in the face or whatever. I would rather eat that cat. Probably. Honestly, yeah. I've got one here from Matt and Elise's of the White Claw Variety Pack. Nice. One star. Thanks for nothing. I have the Ruby Grapefruit can tattooed on my thigh and now I look like an idiot. Bring back Ruby Grapefruit.

End of review. Oh no, oh no. And they sent a handful of reviews and I think I might've seen other ones of people complaining that grapefruit had been removed from the variety pack and replaced with pineapple. Oh, I got ones the opposite, I thought. Oh, people, some people were happy ruby grapefruit is gone and pineapple replaced it, but I got

a lot that said that they're upset. No, I had complaints that people got rid of the pineapple and replace it with grapefruit. What? I thought so. Oh, man. Maybe I've really can't do anything right over there. A white claw, maybe touch any of the other ones. If people love those two so much. Yeah, someone's going to scream about any flavor. But it reminds me of when

COVID started, that girl posted that tick tock of her tattoo. She had gotten in like December, January of 2020 that said like, never wear a mask. And it was meant to be like, you know, meaningful. And then she's like, and now I have this thing that says never wear a mask. It's like an anti-mask tattoo. Anti-mask tattoo, yeah.

That was funny. Anyway. Sad but funny. Sad but funny. This is a review of Keto, oh my god, what the fuck is it called? Another one? Keto Hall bullshit? Hard ketones. Two stars. Going on up. This is by Caleb, verified purchase. Overpowering bad taste parentheses Moscow mule, AKA my old fave elk cocktail.

Very pricey. It has a taste that isn't something I'd sit and sip. I tried chugging it, but the taste stops any attempt to consume it. Like if it's so bad, you literally, like somebody who can chug alcohol cannot chug this because it's so vile. Like that's a problem.

I have this protein powder that's pretty gross because it's just like unflavored, plain like protein, pea protein bullshit. And so many people say just, oh yeah, I put in shake, I just chug it. No. And I'm like, I get that more than chugging this stuff. Absolutely. Absolutely. If you'reging this stuff. Absolutely, absolutely. If you're like trying to hit protein, whatever, I don't know, hit your macros.

Hey, wait. What, I'm waiting. Remember when people started putting vodka in their tampons, or at least that's what local news told us? That's what, yeah. Well, maybe this is the solution so that you don't actually have to taste it. Yeah, this is, yeah, you should endorse that. That should be part of your platform.

Well, skip put up set some key tones up your hoo-ha. Yeah, that's what could go wrong. What could go wrong? Put some. Christine 2020. Yeah. Oh, God. But what was I just saying? Never wear a mask. Christine approves this message. I forget what I was saying when you interrupted me.

Oh, that's OK. Oh, yeah. But with that protein, you just put it in like a smoothie and you don't like taste it like it's OK. Like you can still consume it. But with this like stevia ginger mule in the smoothie, maybe you couldn't taste it then, too. Exactly.

But I don't know if they can have the smoothie. Apparently they can only have like Splenda and a squeeze of lime. And doctor up. And while they're in ketosis or whatever. Oh my God. Like I know that's a thing, but it sounds so alarming when people say that.

Yeah, that's a keto diet, which I don't really know anything about. It just sounds miserable. Are you sure? I just told you a lot, I think. Only too. So it just kind of went right out the other side two stars by Caleb This is of the ginger meal. Okay, I tried chugging it but the taste stops any attempt to consume it There was no buzz even on an empty stomach like they advise by the way, maybe that's why they say skip dinner There was no buzz even on an empty stomach and the taste which, which I cannot express this enough, is not good. And not in a bitter alcohol

way. It's bitter, yes, but more in a way that makes you question if this is something you should even be drinking. It also lingers no matter what you do. I still tasted it after brushing and mouthwash and eating something with strong flavors. Don't try to mix this with anything, because it overpowers anything you poured in I regret this purchase honestly I had to pour out the remaining half since I won't drink it nor will I subject others to such I may be over Exaggerating but this was my experience put into words Those were words no They are your experience

Yeah, two stars. I mean that seems like Wow higher than I would have put for this if you can't even Consume it. Yeah, and it's so bad. It's so bad that your base instincts Your your primal instincts are telling you are you sure you can drink this? You're you sure this is allowed to be in your brain is like sending alarm bells screaming like something's wrong That's why I'm saying like I'm not saying this is Better than alcohol just saying I would I would check I Don't know what would I would check? I don't know. I don't know Wow, I don't know just rough times over there

What that's just rough times over there. Yeah. For these people. Is life bumming you out? Unfortunately I don't have a full-on solution for that but if it is really difficult for you to find something exciting to eat or just even to feed yourself and your family throughout the week Because life is exhausting enough as it is. I'm here to introduce you to Home Chef. Home Chef gets it They're here to make meals easier and healthier along with tons of variety Home Chef delivers fresh ingredients and chef-designed recipes Conveniently to your doorstep to simplify your cooking experience. Users of leading meal kits have rated Home Chef number one in quality, convenience, value, taste, and

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Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Alexander, weren't you excited when we got Warby Parker as a sponsor? So excited. I especially love- We were actually together when that happened. We were and we celebrated. And my favorite might be the try on thing with the webcam where you can- It's epic.... on all the different things

I don't know we were in our hotel room like trying on different pairs and we were like, wow, this is gay It's just revolutionary, you know, especially the ones that I would never buy because I'm not I shouldn't say never. Oh, okay Well, that was too but I was thinking ones that are like super flashy that look really cool because there are a lot of good Ones fashionable ones that uh, I'm like, I don't know if I can pull that off. Yeah, maybe What even though I got that laser eye surgery done Yeah, I've realized even at my youthful age of somewhere in my mid 30s I need reading glasses

So I had to go on there But it's actually it feels cool because then you can buy kind of the more fun bold wacky ones Because they're like reading glasses, you know, you don't need to wear them every day instead I'm just going to drugstore and picking some up. I got to pick, you know the they do the the lower magnifying Because i'm still very youthful as you know, yeah, no, I don't know this stuff because I'm my eyes are really good. Sorry Yeah, well then why don't you give me your Warby Parker. Oh no, I do need glasses for night driving, but that's different. That's not age.

Night driving. It's true. Yeah, perfect my ass. Alright, Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to WarbyParker.com slash beach right now to try on any pair virtually. That's WarbyParker.com slash beach. WarbyParker.com slash beach right now to try on any pair virtually that's warbyparker.com slash beach warbyparker.com slash beach Well, I have one here from Melissa of truly I've never actually had a truly I have I don't really remember though

I don't like white claws fun fact cuz I cuz they have no they're okay. I don't know they're like the malted ones I like the high noon ones better because they're like vodka right or vodka and like juice or something yeah yeah yeah I don't know I don't really I'll drink some probably this coming weekend or whatever we have if oh and we're in ketosis when we're in ketosis oh boy I can't wait. Anyway, here is What Melissa said in the email? Oh, I'll bring tampons Boy I'm not a slut I use pads Just like your mother told you

Bad okay But Melissa says fun fact I have a nickname amongst my friends because I'm a lightweight and had a few too many truly seltzers on a bachelorette trip. They call me Truly Melissa. They always say Truly Melissa is coming out when I get a bit feisty.

Wait, that's so cute, Truly Melissa. That's like, it's rare that somebody has like a cute nickname when they're drunk. It's usually like something rude. Well, they don't mean it nice probably They're like, oh, no, this is a truly Melissa. This is a side real Melissa's coming. I'm jekyll and Hyde stuff Okay, here's a three-star review Good item if you want to destroy your body with alcohol

Just kidding cool. Mommy is down for that maybe once a year. My friends love this drink so I will support. I personally would rather have an expensive glass of wine or a plate of buffalo wings. End of review. What? Who are you? What kind of like weird nonsense was that? I don't know but I think honestly I think this is whoever the reviewer is it's their truly version of them It must be. Wow Melissa. That's an insufferable if this is what you're like What wait wait wait where was this review left like what platform? Oh, that's actually a good question because it was a unique platform I just forgot to write it down because I'm curious if you picking up on that. It's kind of weird

How did you know this lady has nothing to do with truly? Why is she writing it? Like she literally says I guess I'll support it because my friend's drink It's like you're not being stopped on the street and ask for opinion like what or are you? I don't know It's just maybe it feels weird. Like why would you write this on the internet if you don't even really drink truly? It's on she speaks calm Okay, so like a forum or something? Yeah, it's a review site. Yeah.

And there are a bunch of reviews. And this person has written 21 reviews, including of Blizzard World of Warcraft. Okay, okay. So World of Warcraft, oh, and Aquaphor healing ointment. Is this... Okay. Bear Essentials Buxom Lip Gloss.

Okay, I see. And Dunkin' Donuts Coffee. What is this site? I don't know, I'm like, I keep feeling like I get it and then I scroll one more time and go, wait, what? I thought I understood. Oh, there's a review that they wrote of A&E storage wars and a Keurig B 40 elite brewing system I need to know what they think of storage wars. What's our rating?

Um, I don't know. I don't know if it shows up. They rated at 3.8. I don't know. Is that just the general? That would be a specific rating. They gave it five stars. Wow. I love it Yeah, no Bass it. Well, I wonder what they think of what world of Warcraft. I Don't do stars So A&E is rated number 84 in television shows on she speaks doesn't that make you wonder what's number one what's number 12? No, no, what store George's number 84 and television shows I think number one is Phineas and Ferb I think they just took the Rolling Stone greatest list I think they took your private list.

This has never been so funny in my life. Okay, what is this website? I'm glad you would check this. So happy right now. Oh my god. Oh, you can work with them. High performing influencer marketing powered by insights. You're telling me that these influencers think Phineas and Ferb is the best That makes no sense to me wait and then at the bottom in I love it but it's like completely Inexplicably has a link to recipes and if you click it It's this sort of there's like eight recipes I think oh no maybe there are more I don't know they have a podcast oh good this is insane I love this I love it too new favorite website new favorite website like the podcast is cute it. The website, I'm a little more I'm a little confused.

Actually, the podcast is rated really well. I feel like that's because it's about women of influence. Like like like the Mambo sauce woman. Like Mambo sauce. You're exactly right. Yeah. Wow. OK. So anyway, geez this is really fascinating What were we doing No, it's it's your we it's your turn

Truly Melissa sent in that's right bizarre truly review. Thank you, Melissa, for that. So that actually adds so much context for me. Thank you, because I wanted to know where she posted it, because I thought it's a weird thing to post about now. I get it. Yes. She also posted about Storage Wars. You nailed it.

Thank you. If we ever do that episode where we guess where the star rating and where things are from. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Looking pretty good so far. I think we're on good track. Imagine you're like, hmm, this sounds like she speaks dot com. I know. I think I've heard of this before. OK, so I just realized that earlier I skipped one

and my last one that I have here is of is a redemption of the ketones. So I'm actually gonna Know I'm gonna read the one star view that I accidentally skipped of white claw pineapple That's why I was scrolling around trying to figure out See this is what I'm confused about cuz let me read you my review which I should have read after your other one You're your ruby grapefruit. Thank you for the call it context you're welcome Raven claw is the user. And the title is Beyond Outraged. And this is on the White Claw website.

I was gonna say, I hope that that's their username only on the White Claw website. Let's hope. It's like that person who said like, I, their username was I hate French's BBQ sauce. Or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Pack one has become a travesty. In addition to the absolutely hedonistic choice by the board at the Mark Anthony group, they've chosen to censor several reviews without explanation from several of my family members and close friends. They even censored my mother. Surely there's been some sort of high-flying hostile to take over, because that is the only possible explanation for this betrayal of biblical proportions.

I not only implore but expect a full and sincere apology as well as a reversal of this egregious mistake. Furthermore, I agree with the amassing suggestion that, in addition to it being reinstated into Pack 3, Pineapple should receive at a minimum a 12 pack and a 24 ounce tall can to compensate for this absolutely incredulous omission end of review what? Mark Anthony Gone past that I think Mark Anthony group must be the beverage holding company or something think it's the Mark Anthony

Who's Mark Anthony like Like the old guy? Old guy? Mark Anthony. Yeah, isn't that the same? The guy like was married to J.Lo. That's right. I was thinking of the other Mark Anthony. Yeah, literally, that's what I was thinking of. The former Roman consul. Sorry. Sometimes my sometimes my

Sometimes my knowledge base is like a little esoteric. Oh is that what that is? What I meant to say and a little kind of niche And he's Mark Antony. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just sometimes like think about Exactly who you were thinking about before you said my Roman Empire You know stop okay, but wait is the Mark Anthony group like Mark Anthony? How do you spell it because it's with a C mark what if it was the mark Anthony group Mark Anthony group oh here we go. I think that's a little Caesars owner Who is mark? Mark Anthony group. Oh, here we go. I think that's a little Caesars owner. It's who is Mark Anthony

The mark okay, Mark Anthony is an entrepreneurial company pioneering a new beverage categories Okay, so basically what I already told you they're just using his name for clout Cedar Creek Estate Winery White Claw Hard Seltzer came in Jack Something and bareface came in who oh You might know him as Jonathan. Oh, it's like what's Jack sure for again jack of them Yeah, yeah jack Jackathon. So, I really gotta get out of She Speaks, because I keep looking at the pecan cookies. Why are you back on She Speaks? I accidentally hit the wrong tab.

Oh, I thought Mark Anthony Group also owns She Speaks. Oh, can you imagine? No, I couldn't. They probably own hard ketones, though. Probably. I have. It was didn't he sing for the ketones? Do you do a group?

OK, here's here's a review. Old he is when I called him old. You got me there. I have one from Amanda. She they this is of claw tails by White Claw. They're like cocktails, I think. Mm hmm. Law tales. No, I think. Mm. Clawtails. Mm-mm. No? I just don't like that. Oh, yeah, okay.

Because it feels like a, like a claw and a tail. I don't know. That's true. You know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. Oh, yeah, this is, um, it says it's not a cocktail, it's a clawtail. Real juice. It looks like, what is, it says it's not a cocktail, it's a clawtail, real juice.

It looks like, what is that, mango, grape, strawberry, pineapple? That's blurry and I don't feel like opening it up. Here's the three star review. Eh, are they good? No. Are they bad? Kind of, but they get the job done.

Aaron, end of review. That is the kind of review that doesn't give much but also says a lot. Like I'm like, I get it. I think I get it. And that's why Aaron put a name down. Just like, you know what? Just sign off. Signed off. Yeah. It's like, you know what? I sign off. Signed off. Yeah. This, I'll put my name on this one.

Wow, okay, I have one more. This is, oh, by the way, I don't know if I said it. I hope I did, but Francesca, she, her, sent that last one of the White Claw Pineapple. You didn't. I'm sorry. Sorry, Francesca. First Texas, now Francesca.

You're just bashing everyone today. I just It's just part of me That I never ever ever that you'll never ever take away from me Jesus, okay Top reviews from the United States. This is a review of hard ketones It's a five-star view by Lewis and it's a verified purchase I can't Lewis must be a bartender

Yeah, well, we'll see Makes you feel really good. That's how I feel but you might not feel anything If you can overcome the taste, it'll make you feel nice I should give it a four star because of the taste but really doesn't matter it kind of makes up for the taste It makes me feel euphoric and then I felt really good like I drank three cups of wine makes you feel really good But the taste man you have to hold your breath end of review At that point might as well do mushrooms like literally like eat a edible or something. I'm like if You're trying to get three glass wine drunk

and this is so you have to hold your breath. I would, if I had the option, I'd do mushrooms before I drank this for sure. What you taste it or before you like drink the whole thing. Drink the whole thing. Oh, same, same, same. Yeah, like if I had to do one or the other. Like drink the finished one. I've wanted to do one of those before I just found out about today

Well, you've been waiting for ketosis. Yeah, I'd get ketosis to try but you didn't know before that You didn't have to be on a keto diet. No, that's what I didn't know about that that in my mind is everything in my mind I would die if I had to if I had had it because it would like Immediately put me in ketosis ketosis and since I know you know since I know what that is. It would be disastrous Oh god. Yeah, it would be disastrous. I have one more like my birthday today, so I wouldn't really want that for me Okay, yeah, I don't want to take away from your birthday. I can't have everyone see me in ketosis. That would really steal my thunder.

They will trust me. It would. Here's a one star review. This is of the White Claw variety pack from Matt and Elise, and this is my finale. This review is one star titled Come On White Claw. Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst!

Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst!

Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst! Pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst Pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst Pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst Pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst Pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst Pineapple is the worst pineapple is the worst end of review You're the fucking worst don't play me. I can't you think I can see that and not choose it. Yes

No, I do it all the time All right. I have a voicemail and I want to say this was the best one yet When you listen to it in front of me, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make an executive decision Okay, because it's my birthday week. I'd like for this voicemail to be transplanted into the last episode as my birthday voicemail. Oh, okay, yeah. If that's acceptable. So if you're hearing this and Alexander has approved my decision, this is my special birthday voicemail

and the one we read last episode will be on next week, which is very good. But this one is just so, um, just happens to be exactly the thing that I would put on a birthday episode. So I'll mention this all will be in there about all this. And then when they listen next week, it'll be as if nothing happened. Yeah. Nothing ever happened.

Okay. This is my special birthday voicemail from Dani. Hi, Christine and Zandi. My name is Dani. My pronouns are he, him. And I wanted to tell you a story about, well, an embarrassing story about when I worked retail and I met a celebrity. So I was working at a tea shop and I was filling out orders for pickup and I saw that there was the name of a celebrity that I really liked that was going to come in for a pickup order. So I was all excited. I was like, oh, my gosh, they're going to come in while I'm here. And I'm just I'm going to try and be cool and collected. But I'm also going to I would like to tell them how much I enjoy their work, just like, you know, a cool normal person. And so I was standing alone at the

front desk, everyone else was in the back, and all of a sudden they come in, and I give them their order, and I was just too embarrassed and starstruck I guess to say anything so I just let them leave, you know said thank you Bye and then as soon as they left I fell on the floor and all my co-workers were making fun of me because my face was apparently really red and I'm really sorry about that because The tea shop is in Cincinnati and the celebrity was Christine The tea shop is in Cincinnati and the celebrity was Christine. So I listened to a Nesquik drink and beached to Sandi. Oh my God. Did you see that coming? Not until that very end.

I was like, Patrick Stump, like, what is going to happen? But then, like, it hit me right before. I was like, oh, my God. Wait. I was trying so hard to play it cool. I was over here like oh My god looking everywhere trying to play cool. That is hilarious When I've listened to it for the first time I was thinking it was like Fox or somebody, you know And they were saying the name on purpose. She was listening to it in front of like I could see her listening to it

But I couldn't hear it. Yeah, there was quite the reaction The good and she was like this is the best one yet now I get why see her listening to it, but I couldn't hear it. Yeah, there was quite the reaction. And she was like, this is the best one yet. Now I get why. And then I said, well, maybe not for you, but for me. So that's what I literally said that. That's so true. I didn't understand why to be my birthday. Absolutely.

Because what a surprise, Danny, and like the fact that you happened to pick that like listen to that one, literally, you don't like listen to all of them as they come in. It was the next one up. And it's from like over a month ago. I like listen to that one. Literally the next- We don't like listen to all of them as they come in. No, and it was the next one up and it's from like over a month ago. I just clicked the next one. That's so funny. And I had no idea what was gonna happen. I also, there's a little bit on the end here that made me laugh, so I'm just gonna play

the rest of it real quick. The time and then I met my partner and introduced them to Beach to Sandy and I just love you guys, we both do. Yeah, so sorry that I did that and if you ever meet me you wouldn't recognize me from then because that was like two genders ago. So thank you, love you guys, bye. talking about the tea because I'm sitting here going oh I'm trying to remember because I have bought tea exactly two times from Churchill Teas here in Cincinnati.

I can guarantee that's where it was. Because Churchill Tea is no-festing. There's one in Norfolk. I was assuming it was like a Kung Fu tea or something, whatever that one's called. What? That's where Franziska goes. Oh, the Boba tea or something? Boba, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, no. It was like a tea shop. Oh, like a... For some reason, I was picturing Franziska's Oh, like, oh, like in my, for some reason I was picking picturing, Francisca's favorite, like boba shops. Like a boba thing. No, no, no. So this I've ordered twice once was like very early on in COVID. Danny, yeah, I don't, I don't remember because I get so nervous and especially then because the last time I ordered from there was a while ago. So it was probably still like masking up. I don't know, but I think I was just so socially awkward

and nervous at the time anyway, that I probably. It was for the best. Maybe I gave off weird vibes like, eek, and I never drink, like I was trying to get into tea, but I was all like overwhelmed. And I don't know, maybe I just, but I feel like I remember. I got recognized at a coffee shop in Hyde Park Which one was it? Mrs. Greg at the echo?

It was awakenings is that one there? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it was after a really intense therapy session Like what I was you know, I've been like sobbing and therapy Oh jeez, and then I went in there and there are all these like kids that had gone. I might have even said this on the podcast. I at least told somebody and there are all these like kids that go to that went to that go to our school in their uniforms. And I was like, so like, oh, I've not had such a weird head space. And I go in there.

There are all these kids that wearing the uniform I used to grow up like this area is like near our high school too so it's like you're already in between my therapy and home yeah yeah you're already in the area yeah and I was like trying to not like go to local coffee shops and I was like oh this one's nice like I guess I haven't really been there much okay but now you're gonna make people like Danny be like oh god now I'm never gonna say anything no no no what if Christine just got out of the three O's? I had a really intense therapy session and all that was going on and then someone recognized me

and it really made my day, but then I was nervous that I came across in a bad way. It was great. No, it was so positive. That was such a fun, I love that. It made me so happy and I was like, that's so sweet. And weirdly validating. I feel like it's a very

Really poorly you're right No, no, I totally get what you're saying because I feel like It's kind of it feels like it's gonna be awkward and then I feel like in the moment It's like not actually like I think because the lead-up to it is kind of overwhelming for people I think and it's like I if I were in that position like I actually was I saw Travis McElroy at a live taping of something or like it was a live taping it was like the lore live show a few years ago and I was fucking terrified and I was like I can't go say hi and my stepdad was like you've got to go say hi and like he helped me do it I don't even remember what I said or did. Like, I was so fucking freaked out. That's my podcast

that I listen to. So it's like, I don't ever blame people for being like, I didn't know what to say. But don't ever feel like you- Until we're A-listers and no one's above us, then stop it. Leave us alone. Then you leave us alone. But no, anyway, always feel free to say hi. Then you leave us alone. No, at least you're respectful. Always feel free to say hi. I mean, that's a thing. Everyone that's done it has been very kind and not bothering me at a bad time. And I assume if I set a boundary, they'd be fine with it.

And if not, I'd be sad. Security. No. Anyway, Danny, have you seen me? Awakening security? Get that employee. Awakened security. Anyway, Danny, if you see me again, say hi. Awaken security? Get that employee. Awaken security.

Anyway, Danny, if you see me again, say hi. ["Wake Up, Wake Up, Wake Up"] Nothing hits like playoff hockey. The road to the cup starts on FanDuel, your home for live bets all playoffs long, with new features like live SGPs, build aa-parlay, any game, any period. Or stack multiple matchups onto one slip with same-game parlay plus. What's better than playoff hockey? Overtime playoff hockey.

Get more from the game with live overtime markets. Download FanDuel today and get more playoff action with North America's number one sportsbook. Please play responsibly, 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Get unlimited grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Meal prep delivered. Snacks delivered. Fresh fruit delivered. Grocery delivery on repeat for just two dollars and 50 cents a month. Learn more at PCExpress.ca. It's time for my challenge.

My challenge was to find reviews where people admitted their password in the review, revealed their password in the review. And it wasn't just a bunch of asterisks when they did it? They'd say like, Hunter 2 and it would just show up and it wouldn't be asterisks. So I thought this would be fun and possible. Apparently it's virtually impossible for the reasons you just mentioned. That is a good thing. Though because it's my birthday I decided I was going to do it in my own way and I got

pretty darn close. I got pretty darn close. I got pretty darn close. I did find plenty of people's passwords. Just not necessarily in a traditional review format. Oh, so you just hacked a bunch of people's passwords or something? No, I found, I did something even better than that. I found people dumb enough to post their passwords

on the internet. What, our patrons, is that that post that you put up? Like, please put your passwords in the comments. There's a phishing scam going around everyone. This is Christine. So actually, just to keep you safe, do you mind in putting your password here just so we can monitor any unusual activity?

Everyone fell for it. This is my challenge. I wrote happy HBD to me because I kind of fucked it up. But I think I sort of did it. This is what happened when I first typed in Google. I tried to search Yelp for my password is. Google says to me, this query is likely an attempt to find instances where users may have mistakenly or carelessly posted their passwords on Yelp.

It is highly discouraged to ever share a story or password. So suddenly I felt like I was in really big trouble and I got really upset. And I was like, oh, no, oh, no, no, no. That would scare me. That's kind of crazy. So I got in trouble with Google and I went, I thought they're tracking you now. I was like, oh no, oh no, oh no. That would scare me. That's kind of crazy. So I got in trouble with Google and I went, that's not what I was. They're tracking you now.

So then the last, well, what a surprise. Too bad I don't go anywhere, ha ha ha. Okay, this is the thing that was underneath that. As if this wasn't gonna be of any help to me, a Facebook link showed up in the Google search results called Chandler Bing Sarcasm, and that's a page on Facebook. And so then I clicked into it and there's this really good meme. And it says, friend, how smart are you? Me. And then it's Joey talking to Jenna Aniston, to Rachel, and it's two, it's like a split scene,

and the first one says, I changed my password to incorrect, and the second one says, so now every time I forget it, it says your password is incorrect. That's so stupid. I collected a few comments. Okay. Because this is where I collected a few comments. Okay.

Because this is where I started to find people's passwords. What? I'm serious. I just got to find it. Of course it was under a friend's meme. I'm serious. Exactly. You get it.

Exactly. On Facebook. So it was my birthday. It felt like a gift. I was like, what a fun gift I get to just like troll around Weird facebook groups and find people's passwords So first of all, there are some comments not related to passwords that also made me laugh So i'll read a few this is by a comment by maria This conversation never took place on the show

Friends is not even from the era of a million passwords So like yeah, I realized wait a minute. This never happened on the show. Yeah No, I didn't take it to be yeah, they just I don't it looks it has the captions like subtitles So it looks it looks as if that's what it looks as if it's happening in the show. That's so weird uh then zubair says That's so weird Then Zuber says his actually not smart because of the fact that he's telling his password to a random man or women Then Jodie says

Hella mayo emoji so true and quite often when I can't get in I change it to fuck you Often when I can't get in, I change it to fuck you! Exclamation point. Maggie Mae posted, my password used to be I hate passwords. Laughing crying emoji, laughing crying emoji, laughing crying emoji. Oh my gosh. They really are just... It's really wild. Here's what Adam says.

Someone mistakenly called my phone today thinking I'm his boss and begged for two days off work And I gave him one month off Five people like that Like what I have no people reacted. It was like one of the top comments And then last just comments out everywhere like this is my favorite one because I like I think it's real cuz I clicked in And I was like, oh Real what you logged into their account? I tried you'll see why I couldn't so on kit wrote

My friend's height was 4.8 and his name was Ram and I was about to use his name as password and it said your password Is too short. Oh Okay You get it short my friend's height is four foot eight and his name was Ram and I said these days I said four point eight I was like four point eight meters like I don't know that doesn't seem that's short maybe it's four point eight meters like I don't know that doesn't seem that's short Maybe it's four point eight inches. I don't know but it says four point eight But I think he means four foot eight and his name was Ram and I was gonna it's not funny But nine people's reacted. Ha ha ha. I'm glad it was your favorite though Because I it's not funny but when I clicked in, I realized he was a high school kid or a young kid where I was like, oh, he probably literally did that.

He probably just wanted to share this stupid story. I don't know. OK, I'm moving on from that meme. This is July 5, 2020. It is from a website. Well, it's from a blog, but it's referencing a website called have I been pwned?com I'm familiar you are okay Where you put in

Your email and it tells you if your passwords any of your passwords have been leaked or like You know data have been leaked in a data breach, right Right exactly and it like monitors that for you so to speak. The title of this blog post is I've Been Pwned and my password used to be BeCool88. This screenshot contains two passwords I used to use maybe 10 years ago. The username and passwords were released in a data dump, and because I'm registered with haveibentpwned.com, they let me know the news today. I haven't used those passwords for ages because I now use a password manager,

one password, which generates unique passwords for each website I use. I'm a smart guy. And I... Sorry. I'm a smart guy. And I know if I'm being scammed or fished. But sometimes in the past decade or so, I was had. So like you don't know.

You don't. So you don't always know when it's happening. Yeah. I'm a smart guy and I know if I'm being scammed or fished, but sometime in the past decade or so, I was had. And that username and password is now available to the general public end of post. Like you. So now we can use Bcool88. I'm okay. Oh. I'm gonna pass on that one. I don't like it so much. All right, um, this is a three-star review called Help and it's of and these these reviews that I have these last couple are

Mostly just about People's passwords and issues with passwords. So it's not even necessarily more anymore that they posted their password Yeah, cuz I still just found these delightful. So this is a three-star view by misty Verified purchase. This is a review of an app like a diary app Oh, and it's basically like the app itself is password protected, so even if someone knows your code to your phone, they can't open it without the password.

Got it. And it's meant to be like a secret diary type thing. So it says, three stars, help, by Misty. I was writing a story in the notebook, and I'm three pages into the story. I made the password and secret answer the same word But it's been a month since I wrote last so now I don't remember the word Besides the fact that I might lose one of my favorite stories

I like this app the typing is smooth and it auto corrects which is more than I can say for a few journal apps As for the story that I might lose. I'm just gonna keep guessing until I get it right and a purview no 29 people found that helpful for some reason even though she literally lost her own password So I was about to ask why is she using so many journal apps and then I realized she just keeps forgetting the passwords Oh, yeah, like this is better than a few others. It's horrible, though. You're right. She probably leaving a gold mine of stories. Yeah. Auto corrected three pages at a time.

Wow. That's really. It sounds like only one has auto correct. So. Oh, that's true. The other ones are all type of through all the garbage. No wonder she her passwords not working. She probably isn't used to the auto correct. It's auto correcting the password. But wait, when it says secret answer. Oh

My god, what are you talking about? So she made the clue? Or what okay? I mean like this person deserves it Obviously that was true Let me back in well, they're not like Matt. No, they said they'll keep guessing. They were saying like. I know, but I just they just wrote help. It's like, oh, I guess they do want like ideally help. You know, true. So I feel like the answer the question. The idea of guessing is a wild choice, too, because it's like,

if you really don't remember the word, that really leaves you with innumerable options. A lot of like innumerable options a lot of innumerable like it would be one thing if it was just an old past like you use you've updated your passwords over time I just like try your old ones But to just think you know, it's a word like I mean what words was I thinking? What words were I thinking of one month ago when I started? One month ago do you you should do one of those hypnotherapy like regressions,

you know? That is helpful. You should tell them that. Past life hypnosis type thing and do like a... Past month hypnosis. Past month hypnosis. Actually, I would really benefit from that. If somebody would just tell me what's going on from the past month to now, that would be great. Okay, this is something that I found in our main inbox, actually. It was sent in by Julia in 2021. And I'm so excited about this one. It's of something called the meter thermometer.

And it's like this a meet thermometer then. Yeah, but you pronounce that yes, and Okay, so Julia says so the other day while putting on a twitch stream in which someone streams their tank of cherry shrimps all day Every day to help ease me to sleep The cats enjoyed as well and advertisement played as I pulled the channel up It was from it was for some swanky high-tech meat thermometer Which in hindsight is a pretty rude advertisement to play before watching a whole tank of shrimp swim about. This product

looked so fancy, I knew it had to be bunk in some way, so I pulled it up on Amazon and started prowling through the reviews. Okay, so this is the meter. It's like weird because it's spelled like God I don't even know me ATR all capital original meter wireless Bluetooth smart meat thermometer a Apple watch Alexa compatible dishwasher safe. What's the point? Why do you need all that? I guess so you can like track the You just like to leave it in there. Is that how you're supposed to do it? I Don't know. I don't know. I don't know. This thing is... I can't begin to tell you. Why does this need blue?

That's the wildest part. I love it so much. So this is the one star review Julia found and sent our way. And by the way, I think when Julia sent this, they were like, I started listening yesterday or something. So this like oh the second day that they are like a few days in they said they were a newly minted listener so I hope you're still here well welcome many years too late four years ago here's a one star review by Robert of the meter rotisserie bluetooth connectivity thermometer oh a rotisserie thermo. That's also in there.

Oh, okay. Never mind. It's also in the name. I don't know. I don't know how these work. I'm going to be quiet. Robert says, the concept is great, but this is not ready for prime time. That's the title. Verified purchase. Oh, every word. Well, on and off, but for the most part, every word, the first letter is capitalized. Okay. As in like a headline or a title. Yeah, yeah, it's really important because it's a lot of work. Had it worked like it's supposed to, it would

still be expensive, but maybe worth it, but not this version. Monitoring your cook without opening the lid for repeated probings and no wire to damage or get in the way would be great, but the internal battery slash amps of this really truly wireless probe is just not enough. The not is bolded and italicized and capitalized, which I didn't know you can bold and italicize things in the Amazon review format form.

That's wild. So that's fun. One of everything. One, it would disconnect once the phone was more than two feet away from the smoker. Two, I had to open the smoker for it to reconnect. Three, the meter cloud is worthless as well. It would only connect on one device. All others told me wrong password when it was NOT the wrong password. And trying to log on was very painful on that one device. No memorized logon or password manager interface. Then it insisted my password was too simple. Who wants to type a long string of secure gobbledygook repeatedly on a tiny device with no keyboard? Every first letter of those

words was capitalized. I'm like, no, you don't have time to write a bunch of gobbledygooks. You're already doing it right now. Yeah. How is that a thing that how does one do that? Do you think they're really hitting shift every like, that's wild. I agree It is that's not an automatic thing that you can do right some sections. They stop doing it But when they're trying to make a point and saying something very bold, which is 95% of the review It's every probably why they must have their password. They keep Capitalization. Yeah, I feel like they don't understand this.

Well, clearly I didn't understand because the moment it started being described, I was like, oh, okay, I guess that does make sense for why you'd have that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was like, this doesn't make sense. And I'm like, oh, okay, never mind. It makes sense to monitor it or to set it to a certain temperature. I mean, I'm sure. Yeah. So you don't have to open your sm temperature. I mean, I'm sure. Yeah.

Like, so you don't have to open your smoker. I don't really… Right, right. Except you do. Ha ha. They insisted my password was too simple. Who wants to type a long string of secure gobbledygook repeatedly on a tiny device with no keyboard?

Insanity! The temp of my meat needs high security? Are these guys brain dead? Or have they simply never used their own product? I don't know, but it's garbage, as is when it didn't have to be. A wireless base station that's secured to the outside of the smoker with powerful magnets

and transmitted with a bigger battery and range from outside the smoker would have been fine. But they pretended that was not needed. Oh. It is. These are also italicized bold. The phone staying connected to actually monitor the cook is mandatory. End of review. Wow. Yeah, this thing sounds like it sucks. How much is it? What do you guess? I'm nervous. Well, actually it doesn't even say because it's

currently not available. So let me check what their shop has. OK, I see like the newer version. Oh, my God. They're like range from a lot to like they range a lot. I was like, I feel like this could be either 20 bucks or like 150. Right. You know, like I feel like, you know, depending on what they're doing. But in my mind, like I wanted to go high. And then I was like, no, like, I hope it's only like twenty five dollars. So so this is the one that I feel like is the most like accessible one in there, like rain doesn't like the least like fancy one.

And it seems so much still fifty six dollars. Geez. I'm just like a normal meat thermometer. Like it like has an app and all that. Oh, and see, like you put in like rib eye steak and then it tells you like the target temperature Thermometers are they okay? There's a $17 one that looks like the one I have for all my Beyond burgers Yeah, I feel what I have okay. I feel that you know you'd have to be You'd have to probably cook a lot of seven dollars. I'm sorry

You'd have to get a lot of you said this by cooking a lot of seven dollars. Oxygener. You'd have to get a lot of use out of this by cooking a lot of meat with it, I think, because it's meant for different meats. Yeah. You know, Ninja sells one Ninja Pro Chef wireless thermometer for 70 bucks. Jesus. With an app. Oh, wireless.

Yeah, that's it. But I think that makes sense, right? Because then you're not like opening the oven all the time. Yeah, I get that. Except in all the promo photos, they're holding the phone like they're opening the oven door and holding. Yeah, I get that. Except in all the promo photos, they're holding the phone, like they're opening the oven door

and holding the phone there. LOL. So I'm like, hmm, are they trying to show that it doesn't work unless it's open? Unless you're opening the oven and staring at it. Yeah. Oh no, they have a lady sitting while the grill is in the background.

They probably had to have one photo with every element of the product in it. And they're like, you need to be at the oven with the phone and the Thermometer and the turkey yeah Anyway, that's all I've got for you today. That was great. Good job birthday person. Oh That was uh I I approved of all your changes. I thought that was you you handled it well cuz that that does seem Impossible I especially when Google is telling you, don't you dare do this?

Yeah, I felt like if I kept going down that road, I would put be put on some list of like malicious. And the thing is, you probably already were are now from just from searching at once. I probably am. And I've tried it for many different websites now. And I think at one point it did turn a little bit where it started to get more concerned. And it was like, do do you know finding your password? and I was like Yeah, let's go with that story that feels less bad than me looking for other people's passwords better. Yes

I'll take that one instead Yeah, I think Google's already tracking me because I get the suicide hotline all the time up on the top. Why? I thought you meant you pull it up all the time. Oh, no. No, it's like, well, that's probably why it comes up. It's like, hey, just in case. It does that a lot. What? Wait, really? Yeah, you've never oh, is that not normal? I've gotten a lot of notes. I don't want to put you on the spot that I've never seen. No, yeah, I've seen it. On what? On Google? I'll let you know next time it happens. Yeah,, they have like they like it pops up as like hey, here's the national suicide hotline number It pops up automatically if I'm like searching for something that

Well, yeah, it's not there all the time but like is it when you're searching for things that are like Heavier stuff. Yeah Like it's not it's not like I google anything It's not like I google like I thought you might have just kind of appeal for you What's happening Yeah, yeah, no it comes up too and I do a lot of true crime so I do see it all that's true I bet yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, totally same. That's why yeah, that's why I was like, hey, what's going on?

Same that's why yeah, that's why I was like hey, what's going on? Meat thermometers are like Meat thermometer, they're probably like oh god. He's vegan. We should probably something's wrong. Yeah, somebody's gone very wrong. Oh boy Everyone well not everyone, Florida are our pride shows our only shows in pride shows in Florida That That's perfect. That's so perfect I'd rather be nowhere else I Cannot agree no offense Florida, but you know what it'll be really fun. I don't I can't wait We're gonna we're gonna blast we're gonna Alexander's already done the travel and stuff. Oh, yeah, I'm ready. We're ready

We don't know if Florida is ready for us. If you do have tickets see if anybody else wants to join Yeah, we would love to sell it out. We haven't sold the Florida shows out yet So there's still tickets available. If you know anyone who's interested we kind of make the live shows more Accessible accessible to anybody Because it's fun. It's just local reviews and stuff. So don't feel like they have to people don't have to feel like they, you know, know the podcast really well or anything to enjoy the show. So. Yeah. And it's not all like like with because I was thinking Orlando.

It's not like a bunch of Disney reviews. Oh, right. Like, no, Alexander makes sure of that. He goes to like the Panera on 18th Street. I don't know. Like, depending on what you all you all all are expecting. It's gonna be really random but really fun and including little bits. So we have little bits now which is fun. Go to btsandie.com for tickets. Bye!