Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 358: Reviews of Abandoned Places

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

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Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca slash Wondery. That's audible.combe. Welcome to beach, to sandy, water, to wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero. stars if I could Hello everyone and welcome to Beech you Sandy Waterto at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. We're live in the studio today. The siblings are here. I'm sister host Christine.

I'm brother host Zandi. We're on the same couch. again it's been a while yeah we're going on tour tomorrow and we decided oh by the way when this comes out uh we'll be in plano tonight and then austin tomorrow last we just had a blast last night in houston yeah they were wild and out you know what they mean so true yeah um and i'm sure that's exactly how it's going to go um zoi can cut this out if it's actually a huge bummer but i won't be because it's going to be awesome and then we'll be in the pacific northwest soon Can't wait for that.

And then New York City. Capping it off with a hometown show for me in New York City. That's going to be fun. Hometown. We also have some really big exciting announcements. I think the big one we're just going to tell you right away is that we're going to be doing some guest episodes where we have guests on. And yeah, like medians and funny people and not so funny people. I thought you said mediums and I was like, oh, Teresa Cahudo.

Actually, wait, write that down. Wait, that is a good idea. So we're really excited. We're having some, like, I don't know, we're just playing around. We're just getting creative and having fun. And it's not really for any other reason than we've been able to manage our anxiety and other things enough to the point where we say, hell, let's meet some people and do some fun episodes. It's not going to be every episode. Don't worry.

Oh, gosh, no. The show is normal still. But, like, every now and then there will be a little guest episode. We're going to have, and it'll just be the first half. And then at the end, we're probably going to keep doing like just a siblings challenge type thing. A segment. But, yeah. We thought it would be fun to have some guests.

And, yeah, it'll broaden our horizons, I suppose. But, yeah, we've been wanting to do this for a while. So we're really excited. So a couple are coming up in the next few months. Keep an eye out for that. And then otherwise things are just going on as usual. However, we also change a few things on Patreon, which, again, is pretty exciting. We're with a new network now that's giving us a lot more.

bandwidth and resources to do some cool stuff for you guys especially for for patrons um what are some of the changes well honestly all i'll say people just you can sign up for free just go on there and it's free and then there's an announcement about it all and we'll we send things to free people sometimes so just just we don't have to go through it they don't want to hear all this shit but yeah we have some good exciting stuff coming uh and then we have exciting merch that just came out our pumpkin bucket hats with it has nothing to do with our show but we love them so much it's so good and then we're going to have a big black friday sale where we have some new exciting products a new pin a new shirt a new keychain a first keychain actually it's really stupid

but we'll also put the little we plan to put the uh time stamp for the reference of each product so you actually know what the hell we're talking about unlike uh sister amy's milk that We're still not sure what that's about. And we still don't know what the hell that means. And we still sell the pins at live shows. And we're like, we don't know. We don't know. But Beachusandy.

Store for that, the bucket hat is the best. Very excited for that one. And then, yeah, that's about it, I think. Yeah, today we're doing an episode about abandoned places. Yeah. And my challenge was really good. It was reviews featuring, do you know who I am? Yeah, that's excellent.

I can't wait for that. It was a very. It was good. It's been a long time coming for that kind of a thing. Would you like to go first, Sandy? Sure. I've got something here. We're starting off with a five-star review.

This is sent in by Donica, and this is of Bunker 28, which is in Chattanooga, Tennessee. It is exactly what it sounds like. It's a bunker with the number 28 painted above it. It could either be like a cool dive bar or an abandoned bunker. That is true. That is true. This one is on Bunker Hill Loop in Chattanooga. So it is a. An abandoned bunker. Five stars.

Guys, this is a five-star bunker for sure. Go inside and make a strange noise. Once, I sat motionless in the center for a matter of time and just marinated. What? Additionally, there can be no cell phone reception in the bunker. It's a pleasant walk and a good reminder that sometimes you are in a bunker. End of review. What the fuck?

Sometimes you're just in a bunker. I feel like I'm a changed person, but I don't know. Why or how? I don't know why either because you haven't been in Bunker 29 yet. But I feel like I've just learned like a key to life that I didn't know before and I still don't really know what it means, but it felt important. Yeah, so our next show is going to be in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Can you imagine?

It's a dive bar, guys. You go down there, B-Y-O-B. It is a dive bar, B-Y-O-B dive bar. This is also a five-star review that I'm starting out of life. I have some weirdly positive ones. But they're also like that shit. At least mine aren't. This is a review of Phillips Field slash Majors Stadium, Texas State Historical Marker.

So it was where the sports field used to be. Oh, the sports field. Yeah, yes. See it? Yes, Major Stadium used to be there. I don't fucking know. You don't know? No.

Okay. Am I supposed to? I don't know. Oh. Here is a review. This is five stars by Daniel. I enjoy reaching back in time. I time travel by making a stop to the offbeaten trails that open a portal to the past.

Here is Majors Baseball Stadium, Greenville, Texas. It's April 10th, 1949. Whoa. And we are watching the Greenville Majors play against the New York Yankees. The score is now tied, three to three. Bottom of the seventh, Greenville at bat. Sitting between third and home plate, I see Joe DiMaggio in the outfield. No.

Despite the cold wind and drizzle of morning rain, stands are filled, and fans are screaming with excitement. How old is this person? 100 years old 108 I don't know Pepper Martin at bat Oh that's a throwback Gosh I haven't thought about pepper in a while Oh man

Do you actually know who that is? Yeah poke it pepper Okay spoke it in the right field No it's a thing I didn't ask you for more information Pepper Martin at bat Runner on third There's the pitch

And Martin Bunce Going for the pickup is Yankee shortstop Jerry Coleman He tosses and it's overthrown Martin rounds first And slides in a second With the runner scoring The crowd is going wild, and Greenville now leads the Yankees four to three.

That's the final score. And the Yankees know the Greenville majors are a force to be reckoned with. I'm returning home now. Careful not to be seen texting on my cell phone. Wild time traveling. In the like fucking machine. Yeah, it's like no texting while travel. No vaping.

No texting. Put your phone on airplane mode, please. On bunker mode. Bunker mode. Yeah. I'm returning home now, careful not to be seen texting on my cell phone. After all, it's 1949, and cell phones aren't invented yet at the end. Wow. I don't really know, like, what the, I don't really get it.

And all plays to go back to see, you saw a bunt that was turned into an error. It wasn't even like a good play. They just, someone on the Yankees messed up a throw, and that's how they score it. That's what you saw? That's what this person saw. I didn't see anything. I know. I looked at you because you're sitting next to me for once.

I got carsick in the time travel. You probably did. shouldn't have been looking at your phone while you're in there. Oh, I was playing Hexasor. I know. It's not texting, but it still isn't allowed. On airplane mode. Oh, that's your mistake.

Should have been bunker mode. But yeah, that sounded like a shitty place to travel to. No offense. 1949. Well, yeah. Could be worse. Where else would I go? Could be worse.

I don't know. Here is a review. This was sent in by Shroomie, and this is of Concrete City in Nanticoke, Pennsylvania. and the Poconos. And this is a five-star review. This is the only review of Concrete City. And there will be a little bit of a... Oh, it's also the number one of five things to do in Nanticoke, according to Tripodvisor.

Number one of five. Fantastic. And this is an abandoned town or something? Yeah. It's like buildings for a company. You'll hear about it. Wow. The other things to do are not exciting.

Not that any... Not that this is that exciting. An Abandoned... Hey, someone had a good time here. Ready? This is a five-star review. I'm very ready. A concrete city.

You should check this place out. I did. I'm glad I found this awesome temple of graffiti as I was on my way out of town thinking I couldn't get to it. Then I finally stumbled by the dirt road that leads into the place. It looks like a wide path dirt road and it only took about 10 minutes to walk to Concrete City. There's about 15 buildings there that were some old company housing units way back in the day. They've been abandoned forever and seems like people for a long time have been spray painting all kinds of art and words and nonsense all over the buildings, both inside and out. There are a few street art worthy pieces I saw, but horrible idiots painted over some of them.

And then they're like hiding the spray paint behind their back. It was a long walk. I was bored. Horrible idiots painted over some of them. Lots of filthy vulgar expletives written everywhere too. Imagine if they were just nice things. Would they be as mad? No.

Probably not. Maybe, though. I don't know. Either way, it's from idiots, probably. Lots of empty spray cans and broken glass everywhere as well. Still, I thought it was a really cool place to check out. It all contrasted quite nicely against the heavy snow on the ground, which made it hard to maneuver around for me.

I got to see most of it, though. I'm 60 years old and was alone, by the way, so I wasn't taking too many chances, like going on the second floors or the basements in these buildings. I got my fill, though, and I'm posting a bunch of pictures here. You know, speaking of the 60-year-old thing, I wonder to myself, what kind of aberrant wanderlust brings me to a place like this? Fuck.

Maybe people who know me wonder this as well. I do, and I don't even know you. I know this person. Usually young people are attracted to these kinds of things. What interests me in this stuff? Why am I here alone on a cold day trudging through the snow alone to see a place like this? now I'm tired writing and rewriting this review over and over hope I didn't make too many mistakes end of review whoa that's deep they got very just a little self-reflective I suppose yeah that last

line sounded like so multi-purpose like hoping I didn't make too many mistakes yeah just a 60 year old writing a review but also the 60 year old in life wow that's beautiful um also like imagine writing and rewriting a Google review. Yeah, well, it was TripAdvisor, so... I think that changes everything. It does. Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with BudMGM Casino.

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Here's a review. Four stars of the Budville Trading Post. I also have been to add, I'm so sorry. These are both sent it by Neon Pickles. She-Her, who clearly deserves a shout-out. Yeah, for this Budville find, for sure. For sure, for the Budville find. Four stars.

Here we go, by a local guide. If you are interested in history, this is a place to stop by. An old Route 66 trading post, gas station, and cafe. Right now, left for ruin. Three murders in total. heard here and the virgin oh one two three okay that's it that's it hopefully not hopefully you know what i was going to say hopefully not recently then i was like i don't know if it matters i don't know that it matters i don't know if that's the thing for my for your own like um emotional like yeah if it's in the

past i don't care about it comfort right the farther way it is the less real the less the more it feels like it's in a novel or something so true i'll think about that next time i'm in concrete city Walking around. You mean trudging through the snow? Yeah, I don't know what I'll be doing, but the contrast will be lovely. I also have a review from Neon Pickles. This is of Deal Island Lighthouse on Deal Island in Australia. Okay.

Here we go. This is a four-star review. My husband told me he wanted a divorce, but the scenery was so good that I didn't mind. After I take all his money at court, I will be returning with his brother and the child I am pregnant with. Jokes on you, Dan. Neither of the kids are yours. End of review. So stupid.

And then like, honey, you okay over there? And it's like, oh, yes. Just looking out at the beautiful landscape and thinking about banging your brother. Think about Rob. Sorry, little Charlie. The actual father to hear that. Yeah, your father. I mean, your uncle.

Uh-oh. Yikes. Confusing. Father, uncle. Mm-mm. So the next one I have is from Stacey, and it is of Century 3 Mall. This is actually where some of Mind Hunter, season two, was shot, apparently, according to Stacy. Gone too soon.

I know. That was a good show. I've actually been meaning to rewatch that. I rewatch it every once in a while, yeah, that's a good one. Here is a one-star review of the, and I want to see where it is real quick. I'm so sorry, but when a place has a Yelp page, that's like, permanently closed and still had so many shitty reviews. I'm like, why are you even doing this? It's in West Mifflin, PA. And it apparently has a website.

Okay, so the review I have is as follows. One star. Don't go. For the love of Pete, do not even bother. Prose. Parking is plentiful. Deaf, not overly crowded. Oh, this was also written 15 years ago.

Wow. I just realized that. So maybe it was no longer. I don't know. I'll be honest, I'm not sure. Okay. But it feels like perhaps. I mean, technically, if it's abandoned now, it's a review of abandoned places.

That's right. And maybe it'll give you some more insight when I read the cons. I'm looking forward to it. Cons, there aren't any freaking stores left. I think they don't know, maybe realize, you know, because it said there's nobody here. Parking is plentiful. There are no stores.

It's like... It's completely abandoned. How weird. There's like a Hollywood crew here, filming Mine Hunter, season two. There aren't any freaking stores left. The potholes in the lots and in the road surrounding will swallow your whole vehicle. What is left is stupid stores

that are all selling crappy stuff and clothes comparable to what you'd find at Gables. What the fuck is, who's Gabe? I don't know, I looked at you thinking, you might know him. No. It's old, it's dilapidated, and there are no plans for improvement.

Simon, the company that owns them all, has made it very clear that they are done maintaining this property. They're just waiting for the slag that it's built on to cave in and then this whole building can go back to hell and a review I was like wait till you find out what really happens in that it just completely falls into pieces like you like you fully predicted yeah we love a good mall review you know I feel like that's such a good thing to look up when we go to

different cities no it's my favorite thing because it's like and then in the mall you find like niches like oh the clairs or like the build a bear we talk about that yeah you find like different. Like, I immediately thought of Houston Galleria from our show last night that I'm going to be reading. Oh, I was like, wait a minute. For some reason, I keep going back to those reviews. There are so many of them. And it's always so good, the ones that are of malls. There's something about them, man. They're like liminal spaces. It's so true. I have a review here from Maya who sent in a review of Virginia's Western in M-A-S-C-O-T-T-E, Muscatty, Florida. mascot for. This is a Western

wear slash square dance apparel shop that closed down about six years ago. Whoa. Yeah. And then and Maya she had said that most of them were reviews just being sad. It was closing and then just a bunch of boring

shit. But then there was this one, nice poignant one. Diamond in the rough. Five stars by Karen. It was strangely divine. Like a square danced wrinkle in time. Oh, that's beautiful. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

It reminds me of, God, man, remember 1949 when the Yankees and the Greenville Misters and Pokey Pete? Oh, yeah. And you got to hear all about the local van and the Van Tram family came along. Oh, my God. And did the halftime show?

What did they do? Didn't they, like, slaughtered a bunch of animals for their halftime show? It was something bizarre. He was very Texan. Yeah. They slaughtered them, and then they made a nice chili. Okay. That was a long half time in the baseball game.

Yeah, I know. I was there. Half time of the baseball game. Whoa. Mom just sent me a picture of, like, what is this? What? And she wrote good to know. It's like a hundred pictures of like,

different foods and then it says they're what like apple is there a joke in here like i keep looking at it's a bunch of nuts fruits and cheeses on a tray and it just has a labeled name for each one like brie cheddar and then she sent the picture and said good to know and i'm like am i did i did i confuse a strawberry and or i feel like we're missing some context but who knows that is a very weird picture to get these are cashed shoes these are strawberries thank you mom like i know that what okay i can't uh let's see so this is another review of century three mall it's a one-star review and this was written over eight years ago and it's by andy writing this review truly breaks my parentheses cold heart century three mall in the 80s was the

place to go. By the way, I love Century 3. Like, what does that mean? What the crap is that supposed to be? It's a good century. I can remember so many weekends taking the drive up to the mall and spending hours here perusing all the stores in this three-story complex. Now, all these years later, I felt like I was

walking into a horror film. I imagine they're literally filming mine hunter in there. You did. All these cameras everywhere. Am I in a horror film? I think, like, John Wayne Gasey was in there? It's really friendly, though, so maybe just a look-alike. I felt like I was walking into a horror film as I walked down the empty hallways. I think there are about stores total in the entire place.

And I think I'm being generous when I give that number. Which honestly feels like it was not intentional, but if it was, it's very clever. It does make sense. Every store here has pretty much gone and left. The water fountain doesn't even run. That's in the middle of the mall. Why the fuck would they be running the phone? I don't know.

Whatever. I have no idea. There is a two-story carousel there. That's truly beautiful. Jesus. That's a big carousel. Well, I wanted to show you the picture because now it's abandoned. Holy, that is a big carousel.

And it is, and there's like an old J.C. Penny's side. I mean, it looks like out of stranger things or something like the old school mall. I think we read a review of like, or you read a review at a show about this, a mall and they listed all these things for how to like bring it back. But it's like the. only way to revive it is to just go back in time like I feel like mall culture is dead like we're doing in that bonker true we are we went all the way back to 1949 by mistake so we've got a ways to go before the mall boom happens again I'm gonna say that's really not I would say the height of that was the height of really complicated um half-time shows yes but it was not the heart of uh now we

just get un-American people from Puerto Rico like bad bunny wish you were an American citizen pathetic. And with a name like that, really. Children are going to be watching. Let's see. I think there are about stores. Okay, I said that already. The water fountain doesn't run. There's a two-story carousel there that's truly beautiful. But while it was open, I had no children to ride it. I mean, why? It was open? It was running? I guess eight years ago. Okay. So this was, okay. Imagine if it was like, oh, I walked into a horror moment. movie. Yeah, the carousel's running and no one's there. I mean, and they're going like, like up and down, forget it. There hasn't been any open toy store here in years. Why would there

be any children? The food court empty. Oh, I thought it was like, why would there be children? The food court. Oh, fair enough, actually. I thought that makes sense. Santa Express. No, this is actually a new paragraph. The food court, empty. That's the end of the paragraph. Okay. Here's another paragraph. The third floor, close. off. It's truly nightmarish here. I kept thinking at any moment the entire building would go dark and I'd never be found again. I mean, people have imaginations. People do have those, yeah. But I'm like always surprised by how dark they get so quickly. And like the paranoia people have. Like I get paranoid about social situations, but it's never like, oh yeah, like I'm going to be

locked in here. Like when I'm alone and abandoned mall, I'd be like, this is creepy, but I don't think I'd be like no one that will ever find me again. I don't know. It just seems like a strange thing. But this is also when it was still open. So maybe. It's even funnier. But it's also maybe a little scarier because it's like, oh, there are three employees in the whole mall. Yeah. Maybe they will. It doesn't include all the, all the people living in there. Right. All the little mall rats. Mall rats. There is a bath and body, game stop, and a few comic books and gaming stores. What more do you need? To be honest, I can't even remember anything else. like I said it's heartbreaking

where did they all go I never wanted to see something from my childhood end up like this okay first of all grow up what the fuck do you think happens and also if all the stores were still there I'm picturing it's like a 15 year old or something oh my god

well if all the stores were still there you'd be like oh it's not the same like there's always something but you gotta go back to the bunker that's the only way to do it's the only way there's a bath and body game stuff pubic conducts like I said it's heartbreaking where did they all go?

I never wanted to see something for my childhood ended up like this, but unfortunately Century 3 Mall is all but gone. Do not go there unless you want... Oh my God. Jamie Morton from my dad wrote a porno just DM'd me.

What? No big deal. I just... No, it's fine. I'm not going to peeve my pants right now. I'll wait a minute. I'll wait until half-time break. I'm leaving when she pees everywhere.

I don't usually. react to things like wow but i really just couldn't contain myself like i mean it was just like a thank you because i shared something about my dad wrote a point oh it wasn't like anything like oh what kind of business proposition no i was just so surprised i was like wow that's really kind okay where did they all go do not go there unless you want all of your childhood memories to be destroyed no too late i don't need i don't need I kind of want to go there. So they are destroyed.

Please, actually. Get them out of my brain. Is that how you do it? Yeah. Okay. The thing is I don't remember most, so maybe I can just destroy them and then it doesn't matter that I... I think they're already destroyed.

I think that's what I'm saying. Like, ours have already been wiped, demolished. Okay, I guess that makes sense. If you're anything like me, you've seen ads for hair growth products and you're like, Mm, likely story. I've always felt that. way, except for Nutraful. To be honest, I've never given any of the other ones really a fair shot, I guess, because Nutrival worked for me right away. I'm so thankful for it. What it is, is a physician

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Yeah, it's really, really good stuff and clinically tested, all that good stuff. Definitely try it out if that's something you've been eyeing. See, thicker, stronger, faster-going hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutraful. For a limited time, NutriFle is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to NutraFol.com and enter the promo code Beach 2 Sandy.

Find out why Nutraful is the best-selling hair growth supplement brand at Nutraful.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com, promo code Beach to Sandy. That's Nutraful.com, promo code Beach to Sandy. I have a good number for my challenge, so I'm actually done with a theme, but I want to hear What else you've got? Well, I actually have one left, and then we'll get to your challenge. So this was sitting by Jess, she heard. It says, these reviews are of Camp Hero Park in Montauk on Long Island.

It's an abandoned military base turned park. There are rumors of military projects like the Montauk Project and MK Ultra happening here. It's known for its large dilapidated radar tower, and that may be an inspired stranger things, question mark. It's a cool place to explore, and you get in. to the park for free if you paid for parking at the Montauk Lighthouse have you been here I don't I was trying to think because I don't think I have no I feel that you might recall it's like extremely creepy looking it does look like it would be in stranger things but I did remember reading about buried treasure supposedly being by the like the Montauk Lighthouse in that area so I don't know

if it's there I want to bring my the fuck is happening metal detector oh here's a review of of the Camp Hero Park military base. You know. You know. Three stars by Naomi. This isn't the first time we've read a review of the camp. Dang it.

I already forgot what it is. And it won't be the last. Let's hope. Extremely haunted. By the way, this is a three star review. So I would say like negative because it's like, it's like pretty concerned for our well-being and everyone's well-being. And there are 18 prayer hand emoji reactions to this one.

That's so many. Yeah. Yeah. Extremely haunted. Split the difference in stars, since that might be a five for some and a one for others. 30 seconds, isn't that supposed to be what it is for you? You know what?

It's very diplomatic. That is a weird way to do reviews, I guess. 30 seconds near the barracks and we were eager to get out of there. Going near the radar, we felt like we were at the edge of something we might never escape from. Jesus. Who are these people? I don't know. And then she's like, three stars, some might love that.

I'm like, what? All these dramatic people going to abandon places. They got to quit. They do. They do. But I guess then who's going to go to them? Well, 60-year-olds. They were pretty dramatic, is what I'm saying.

You're right. Going near the radar, we felt like we were the edge of something we might never escape from. Visit with care. Bring sage and a priest. End of review. Yeah. And they're like, not kidding. I think that's like I think since here bring a priest along bring a priest next time you call

that's what I'm gonna do I mean it's Long Island you can probably find one you probably can it feels weird to have a priest like on call for that our priests can be normal they're not though they can be pretend to be they can pretend to be you're right but they're not they're priests I've never gonna convince me I'm gonna bring Father Phil Sayer to that father Sayer it's good of a he was not normal what did I say he was not yeah is that one of those saying about priests they're not normal which time

was he not normal which time were you talking about that you were talking about priests you said is that what I said about priests yeah I talked you're right I don't know which time it all blurts together you talk about him a lot well not only that I do have that other show

of yeah listen to my other podcast by the way the priest priest report the priest priest's report the priestly priest report about priests priestly report Yeah. It's not a good time. Here is a review. Oh, wait, it's my challenge. This challenge was to find reviews where people said, do you know who I am? That's good. And it was very good. That's very good.

I got some great reviews. Here's one from Stacey of the John Roberts Salon and Spa, which is very, this is not abandoned. This is in Willoughby Hills, Ohio. Here's a one-star review. I had the worst experience of my life at John Robert's spa last Friday. I have been going there for over 10 years and have had wonderful service. That all ended last Friday when the owner's son came in to visit his girlfriend who was a stylist there. I had a disagreement with her about two months prior to Friday's visit. He came up to me while I was getting a blow dry and said, Do you know who I am? I'm Johnny DeJulius.

I have my girlfriend's back, and you need to mind your own fucking drama. Needless to say... I'm Johnny Julius, and you need to mind your own fucking drama. And even Johnny Roberts. Who the fuck is... Johnny DeJulius? Johnny de Julius. Needless to say, I left in tears and with a wet head.

That's the worst part of it. Like a wet cat. Like a wet cat dripping, stinking, crying. left in tears and with a wet head and will never walk into that place again. The girls who work there are wonderful, and I'm sad to say I will really miss them. The owner's assistant did call me and was very apologetic, but the owner, who was so concerned about customer service, never called and frankly, no love lost, end of review.

Wow. So this is the owner's son? The owner's son supposedly went in there while this blowdry was happening to confront this person about something that happened two months prior. With his girlfriend. With his girlfriend who works at the salon. Okay. So I don't know if the girlfriend was like, she's here.

Allison's here. Come and get her. Oh my God. We've been waiting a whole month for this. Yeah. And then Johnny's like, I'm on my way. He's been waiting. He's not, he wasn't at work.

He was out in the back alley just behind the dumpster. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's why he was so deranged because he'd not been eating or sleeping. He's back there. For two months? Yeah. And then he's like, I'm Gij Julius.

And they're like, no, you're not. Oh, no. Yeah, it was sad. That does sound really sad. You were there, huh? Julian de Julius, you really think that's his name? You know what? I don't because that's not what I said.

Julian de Julius is a crazy name. Do you know? I am. I do now. I won't forget it. Ever. Well, don't worry. Stacey sent in something else because Stacey found another good thing.

And this is a one-star review of Raj Kanodia plastic surgery. This is in Beverly Hills, California. This can't go wrong. Uh, okay. Here we go, one star. What a horrible, arrogant, and rude attitude. When I expressed doubts and sounded like I was worried or didn't agree with him about his opinion about which area to inject my fillers, he told me, do you know who I am? Did you even Google me?

I don't think you realize who I am. I can only imagine the level of insecurities this man must have for having this arrogant attitude, not to mention the name dropping. Very uncomfortable, regretful experience. The worst part is that I actually listened to him and allowed him to inject fillers high on the cheap bone leaving me with a horrible result that was so protruding and it looked embarrassingly odd and out of proportion in all my photos.

I had to Photoshop all my photos before allowing anyone to post on social media to the extent that I had to pay hundreds just to get his work dissolved with another doctor five months later. End of review. I just like, I have no problem with fillers but hearing about it. No, I know. It, like, gives me the, like, he-be-g-bees. Like, people do what they want, but the idea of it in my face and the dissolving and the thing,

it just sounds like, it scares me. Like, needles are already, like, a big no for me. And then, um, someone did react with. And then someone, oh, no. Oh, so did I. Because bullying someone into getting them in your, on a certain spot in your face, and then having to pay to dissolve them, whatever that means. I mean, that just makes me feel real bad.

But I also do like the idea that this guy's like, do you know who I am? I'm the filler king of Beverly Hills. How did you know? You do know him. Because I know who he is. I mean, everyone knows who he is who is. You Googled him ahead of time. That's true before this episode.

Always, always. My next one is one that I found, apparently. This is in Queenstown, New Zealand, and it's of lakeside backpackers. It's a hostel with a 1.6 out of five-star rating. imagine going from a Beverly Hills plastic surgery office to oh like this is the same person oh my god I was like I needed a vacation after my plastic surgeon first of all after all this fellowship was not the same person I think we can all agree so true I like to think that that doctor is like do you know how I am and she's like no like you look completely different than your

photos online yeah okay I forgot that I wrote cut down the yapping dude this is the longest review You wrote that? Yeah. I thought you meant as like a, as like a directorial note. No, on us. And I was like, Jesus. Okay. Someone has written that.

But I forgot this review was like so long. Okay. So here is a one-star review of lakeside backpackers. The motel or the hostel. The hostel. This is by Trisha. Oh yeah. I know Trisha.

I know with the fillers. I am an 18-year-old girl on my first solo travel trip to Queenstown. My goal in my search for a hostel was primarily price. I wanted to find an affordable, but decent hostel. When I came across Lakeside Backpackers, I saw many reviews about the disgusting state of the hostel itself, but nothing could have prepared me for my horrendous experience. Really? A 1.6 average star rating, and you were like...

That was before this one. So it was a 1.7, probably. Before this one. Okay, that changes everything. Fair enough. I was a maid. She was a maid there, too? That sucks. I know, imagine. That's how you pay for it. I was made aware by the reviews that the place was run down and had accepted that, I would sacrifice that, for the price. However, the kitchen was a disgusting mess with the fridge is filthy and covered in food.

They were both also completely full, with nowhere for me to store my food, no matter how I rearranged it. I stayed for a total of four nights. Since I had arrived in Queenstown, I had been up the mountain 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. every day due to my snowboard course, so really was not at the place much. On the morning of the fifth day, I exited my room to see a sign. attached as image one. And here is what the sign says. Oh, my God. Once I find it all.

This is thrilling. Notice to all long-term guests. This is to inform you that all long-term guests staying at the backpackers will need to check out by Sunday the 23rd of June 2025. We will be starting renovation work from next week. And as a result, the property will not be available for extended stays during this period. Okay. And a little more info.

Okay. And it was signed by management. Back to the review. Shocked as to whether it applied to me or not and why it said Sunday the 3rd when it was in fact Monday the 23rd, I planned to call the hostel once reception hours opened. By this time I was once again at the mountain for my course

and called at lunchtime. And now here is the back and forth. Hello, I saw a sign that said long-term lakeside backpackers need to leave and was wondering if this included me. What are the dates of your say? Me, the 19th of June until the 16th of July. Yes, you need to vacate. Can I please clarify as to whether I need to vacate this Sunday the 29th or Monday the 23rd,

as the sign shows an inaccuracy in date and day. You need to leave today. What? Okay, well then I will be at your reception this afternoon after my day to collect my refund. No, you will need to talk to my manager if you want to talk about a refund. Huh? I will let you stay one more night so you can talk to him tomorrow as he is not in until then. I will be up the mountain tomorrow before your reception opens too, so it makes no difference.

I will come in tonight. How does 5.30 p.m. sound. No, you cannot. What time does your reception close? 7 p.m. Great. I will see you in 5.30 p.m. Dude, I'm like, this is crazy.

And they're like... People sometimes ask, like, why do you hate being on the phone? I'm like, this is intolerable to me. If somebody's supposed to me... This feels like a nightmare. I would melt into the ground and, like, I would leave all my stuff

with that hostel and never come back for it. Really. And they're ready for this? That afternoon, I went back to the hostel where I packed my bags and walked down to reception. I then told the receptionist I was checking out now as per the sign and would be collecting my refund accompanied by all my details. The receptionist asked, why are you checking out? And I replied, due to the renovations.

He then raised his voice as if irritated at me and said, no, that sign was not for you. What? That was for long-term backpackers. I said, okay, well, that was a miscommunication on your end then because I called to clarify and was told that I needed to vacate today. So may I get my refund now as I've had to quickly book new accommodation? Seriously, you've already booked somewhere. can't. This is making me want to do. Yeah. And then they went back and forth and the person said that it was their first time, first day working there. Why are they like raising their voice? It's their first day

working there and they're like, that's not about you. It's like, are you sure? Yeah. And then they sent in, so then I'm not going to read the email, but they basically sent an email, described me everything being like, give me a fucking refund, but in a very kind way. I want a fee five-o fun. And like, explain everything that happened. I was aware I'd likely not get an entire refund if one at all, however, was forced to book expensive accommodation due to the last minute notice of vacation and no cheaper availability for that very same night. I think it's like vacation. Vacation all I ever want. I called the reception and explained who I was and while I was calling back and I was immediately met with a manager's irritated voice

who said, tell me what is going on, ma'am. I calmly explained the entire situation and the mistake that his employee made, and the manager began yelling over the top of me through the phone, shouting things like, why did you not ask me first, ma'am? That sign was not for you. What in the fucking hell is going on at this place? And then he said, your bed is still here, ma'am. You can stay as long as you need. I told him, I have new accommodation, as I believed I didn't have another place to stay. There's nothing left for me to do except get my refund. He began laughing on the phone, and I said, do not laugh at me. I am serious.

this is yours and your employee's mistake and I am in the right of my refund for the remaining nights he hung up the phone not okay and then here we go and this is what every 18 year old should do ready this is an 18 year old I know no no no it's fucking awful like I would be I would have just sucked it up I'm very proud of this person yeah I'm very proud of this person ready shots and soap said I finally let out the tears of anger I had been holding in to maintain an assertive image while on the phone. I called my dad in tears, asking him why a manager of a business would be so unprofessional as to yell at a young girl when it was not her fault but theirs.

After some words of encouragement, I grabbed my male friend for safety and walked down to the reception. The second I walked in, I held my head high and said, do you know who I am? Yes. The manager could barely make eye contact. He so quickly backed down from the once aggressive persona he was portraying through the phone. and responded with a quiet yes. I then asked, so would you like me to explain the entire situation again for you?

He said, no. He then pulled out his calculator and calculated the remaining cost of my stay. Unfortunately, I failed to pick up that it was a bit over $100 short of what I should have been refunded. However, I was anxious and all too keen to get out of there. Once he processed the refund, I left happy and relieved. I've had to cut my losses and pray that karma will be the real price they pay and that this review speaks to people and stops them from learning the same hard lessons I had to. I urge everyone to put forward an extra few dollars to every night's day to have a better experience.

On the other hand, shout out to Lilo Queenstown, which is an amazing hostel, which I'm so happily sitting in right now. End of review. Happy ending. I know it was a long one. I skipped like full paragraphs, but, uh... Okay, first of all, I thought that do you know who I am would always be like some jackass person. That's kind of why I wanted to do this one no matter.

It's so redemptive. Yeah. It's like, do you know who I am? And then the guy's like, you. Like, I didn't think I'd be happy to hear someone say that phrase. I heard your dad on the phone and I'm really scared now. I'm so scared. I didn't know you had a dad to yell at me.

I don't think the dad even talked to him. I know. But, like, he knew it was a possibility. He felt the tonal shift, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I've always, I want to say that to someone, but I don't think that there would ever be a

context in which I could say, do you know who I am? There probably will be one day. But like, only like, maybe. But only, like, if I'm right. Yeah, if you're not being an asshole about it. Like, not in a context where I'm a douchebag, but like. Which is going to be tough for you, but yeah. I know.

I know. My next one is from a trip advisor forum post title, Greatest Do you know who I am, Brigade? I don't know what Brigade is about. What the hell? This is a response, so this is someone's story. Here we go. A few years back, I was at a ball at one of the big London hotels.

Me too. I almost said hospitals. Oh, a ball, yeah. And I was like, I don't think that's right. A gala. After the champagne reception and dinner, there was the inevitable long queue for the ladies' loo. Suddenly, a well-known singer who was also a guest swept past the queue, giggling and saying, oh, nobody minds if I just slip in, do they?

Being a very British affair, there was a colloquy. collective sharp intake of breath and quite a lot of tutting and head shaking from the queue of women in posh frocks, but nobody said a word. That's literally. That's it? That was the end of that one. That is the most insightful, like, culturally, interesting look at, oh my gosh, everyone tutted. Everyone in their fancy frocks. These women were tutting as a famous singer was just walking on by. She wasn't just walking on by. She was peeing on by No, she was, what was she doing? She was doing something annoying.

Oh, yeah, of course. She swept past the cue and giggled and said, oh, nobody minds if I just slip in, do they? It's me. Yeah, that's so annoying. You know, it's, you know, you know, whatever. Who do you think it is? I really hate that they didn't say who it is.

I have no idea. It's probably, it's probably Adele. I don't know why that's the first name that popped in my head. Holy shit, do you think it's Adele? I don't. I didn't even know who she is. Adele? Yeah.

Adele Dazim. She would never. Adel Dazim would fucking never. No, John D'Rvolto wouldn't let that happen. And now I have a Yelp forum post from over 18 years ago. Oh. And this is fascinating. Okay.

Because the title of this is, got a response from a business regarding my review. And this is what Steve says. That was fast. Interesting. usual response about how they will try to do better should I give them a second chance and then someone said Is this like their first time using YEL?

Yeah, it's from 18 years ago Wow This is like an OG like Yelp experience They're literally like determining the future of Yelp interactions with this thread Like what do I do if an owner responds Wow! I know that's what's so cool about it

Wow And then Christy says what are they offering What are the terms of their deal? See, they were on it from the start. They were like, we got to get something out of this. They knew. And then a different Christy with a different spelling said, did they seem sincere?

Are you interested in whatever they're offering provided the service improves? Then go for it. It's like the two Christy's on your shoulder. Yeah, one's like, what are they giving you out? Fucking pump them for everything they're worth. And then Steve responds saying, they're offering the standard, we're sorry and will be better next time, and we will use this to improve.

I just never thought a business would reply so fast. Interesting. Meanwhile, it's like all bots now. Yeah. Yeah. And then here's the good spot. Here's the last thing. Drew says this.

Shit, dude. I would ask for the free hookup. I've been offered beer and wine and food. Oh my. To give us another chance. Tell them to put their money where their mouth is. Then go in strutting your stuff and acting all important. Do you know who I am?

I am a yelper. Now serve me. End of post. Yes. Now you know what? Alexander, the way that that really just sets the tone for the next 18 years of Yelp activity and Yelp attitudes and Yelp elite. Yeah, and Steve is the worst of them all. He started by asking and then Drew was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking go for it.

And Steve never looked back. Steve said, has gotten so many free appetizers from Olive Gardens across the country. Wow, Alxaner. I know, lucky guy. Beer, wine. What are you saying? I get beer and wine. Beer, wine, food, oh my, I think.

My next one here, this is of an Albertsons in Henderson, Nevada. What in the world. What in the world? Here we go, one star by Samantha. Stephen in the deli was extremely rude to me. He threatened me saying, you fucked with the wrong guy. Do you know who I am? And continue to tell me he is the one who runs the place.

What is this town? This is Henderson, Nevada. Is he the Henderson, Nevada? He's the Henderson Butcher. Fuck! I know. Samantha. Never heard from again.

RIP. Yeah, but here are her last words. Great. I did not feel safe during the interaction, and I am extremely dissatisfied. Oh, girl. Imagine if those were your last words. I am extremely dissatisfied. I think that's probably a lot of people's last words.

Yeah. On your way out. Yeah. Or like a killer nurse in your list. I'm dissatisfied with this nurse's thing. And the nurse's like, fine. Yeah. I'm going to get my rocks off killing you.

This plant. it yeah one star all around so yeah don't fuck with steven i'm not i wasn't going to ever fuck with any butcher who has dead animals and sharp objects back there yeah and is desensitized to the cutting up of body parts i'm just saying i'm already in like a heightened state right now like an inferior i'm like i don't know who you are inferior but like you can tell me and i'll believe you and i'll just let it just leave your cleaver away like over on that side of the counter yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway that was my last one of all people we ended on the henderson butcher of henderson or whatever the guy of one random deli worker that's the best but like you had people who were saying do you know who i am

i'm a yelper do you know who i am i'm the 18 year old who you were mean to i'm a teenager with a dad who's angry i'm a um just i'm the son of i'm juliani juliani juliani juliani heir to the juliani fame and fortune and then just we got adele being not very and then we got a real celebrity del does even just just ruining everyone's day we got so much of good stuff today and that was fun all right good job zini we're gonna go to houston now hi See you today in Plano and tomorrow and Austin. Can't wait.