Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 368: Reviews of Pet Psychics

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

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Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beachview, Sandy Water 2 at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sister host, Christine. And I am your brother host, Zandi. Hello, welcome. Hello, welcome to our inner circle. Two people doesn't make a circle.

I said welcome to them to the inner circle. Where's the circle? their hearts and souls and they brought a show and tell for all of us to share today. Oh, what did they share? I don't know. You got to ask them.

Okay. What did you share, everyone? Now they can tell you. And if you're not, if pet psychic, like all the people I've researched today, you'll never know. Isn't that a good segue? That is. Good job.

Thanks. We're discussing pet psychics today, otherwise known as animal communicators. Oh. I consider myself an animal communicator. Do you? Tell me more about that. I communicate with animals. Do you?

Not success. I mean, like... No, I believe you. I just am like, Glenn. They don't communicate back. You just told me you don't leave your house, and you don't have any pets. You think that I've spent my entire existence in this? No, I just, I wouldn't necessarily...

Is a pet psychic constant? Constantly being a psychic, like, constantly tuning into pets? I just didn't know, like, that you would in this era of your life, like, consider, like, label yourself as such. But I'm happy for you. I talked to a pigeon today. Hey, that's great. What did you tell it? I don't, none of your fucking business.

This is a circle I thought we were sharing. No, you're not in my pigeon circle. Fine. Well, I'm also a pet communicator, animal communicator. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm not going to challenge you on yours, what you did for me. Well, you know why I'm challenging you?

Because the first place I stumbled across was called sceptivet.com. And it's skeptical veterinary enthusiasts. I'm trying to, okay. The word enthusiasts is drawing me off. I thought like, oh, it's skeptical veterinarians, but like nobody on there seems to actually have any sort of qualification. It's just like a- Because they are skeptical. Are they the ones who are skeptical of veterans?

veterinarians? No, no, no. They think that medicine is medicine and that we should not be conflating any sort of paranormal or spiritual mumbo-jumbo with science. Okay. This was actually, oh, dear, Lord, this was posted yesterday. I did not realize that. On skeptivet, is alternative medicine compatible with science? And obviously the answer in this case is no. It's called science, pet health and they're very anti any sort of alternative healing or medicine for animals and in case you're wondering I am staunchly on the opposing side of this website so if you want to get into this episode and understand where I'm coming from it's like I'm not allowed on this this website has an agenda yeah okay and the agenda is okay and the agenda is is science-based pet health? Well, that's their slogan, but their whole thing is basically that there's no room for, you know, any sort of alternative medicine in veterinary sciences.

Oh. So, like, you can't, like, microwave an onion for an ear infection? I mean, you can because it's a free country, but. But you shouldn't. But probably you shouldn't. According to them. Well, like here, they have like an anti-acupuncture, you know, like a petition to stop. For your pet?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Get your, get those needles out of your pet. Why does your pet need acupuncture? Alexander, because maybe they're sick. Come on. Of course it's a thing.

Yeah. So are the owners, apparently. Well, there's a, sick and needles in them. There's a humor column on SkeptVet called, and one of them is called SkeptVet gets hate mail. Yeah. So, you know, I'll be honest. I don't necessarily agree that there's no room for any

alternative healing for animals but like for example what is that sorry oh I thought that was your degree your veterinarian degree on the wall behind you but that's what I'm saying those these are enthusiasts you can't tell me that all these people in the comments

are fucking veterinarians they don't know how to spell this is bullshit they don't need to know how to spell human words they just need to know how to spell animal words They don't know how to do any of it. Like, woof. Like, it's just, I mean, I get it. Yes, I get it.

There is room for both sides, okay? And I'm fine. That's fine. But I'm just saying, if any. You know, the word of the day is nuance. How about that? Yeah, and they should learn a thing or two about it. Okay.

That's what I'm saying. Thank you, Alexander. Why would they argue for the other side on their own? I'm not saying they would argue for the other side. I'm saying they would maybe have some nuance in their arguments. Okay, okay. Okay. I'm curious to hear it.

Oh, my God. I don't even have anything. I've won. And all it says is a lot of veterinarians I talk to promote the belief when they die. They will be together with their pets in heaven. Like, this is what I'm saying. This is the kind of shit on there. I'm like, can you just relax and let people like grieve or whatever?

They're mad. They're mad that some bests believe in doggy heaven. Yes. It's absurd, isn't it? And then I'm like, then one could argue believing in heaven at all is absurd. So what the fuck is your point, right? Like what do you? Maybe that's how they feel.

Alexiner, but like, it's not. Go to skeptvat.com and get back to me, okay? I don't know what the fuck. Christina, the way this website has been presented to me, I don't know what to find on there. Why? I'm so confused why you're so recalcitrant. Because you're like, oh yeah, they are about this. And they're like, I'm staunchly against this website. I am stanchly opposed their website.

Okay. And I. Because it says things like there's no dog heaven. And I'm like, okay, fucking relax. Like, get a life. Stop it. Leave people alone. They want to think their dogs in heaven.

Leave them. Let them be. I'm just confused about this website. That's all. Like, I didn't expect you to, the first thing to hear about it, like, from the content is something about dog heaven. I was promised. I'm sorry. I was trying to get to.

And you kept challenging me. I'm just trying to say that basically their whole website is like, it's like everything is bullshit. Fine. Okay, that's fine. But like, do we really have to say, you know, um, whatever. Okay. Here is the, uh, the comment. A lot of veterinarians I talk to promote the belief that when they die, they will be together with their pets in heaven. If you assume communication will be possible with these pets in heaven, then I wonder what the turkeys we ate for Thanksgiving are saying in heaven. End of comment. I'm staunchly in agreement. What,

would those turkeys be saying in agreement with what with having a question that's not an agreement with turkeys being in heaven okay you're not you're missing the point again the point is they're saying yeah that's absurd because otherwise turkeys would be in heaven i say yeah and maybe they are so fuck you yeah so you better watch the fuck out yeah they're coming for you you're not going to end up there with them yeah there's a special place this person's point was how ridiculous they think their pets are going to be what about turkeys yeah they can well what are you trying to communicate with a turkey you probably can I bet that quack can oh that's a duck um I'm just saying like and that's I'm just saying I'm just saying I'm just saying look based on just that comment

this sounds like a hilarious place to spend some time like this sounds fun it's not that Like, it doesn't sound that bad. That wasn't an article. Yeah, that was a comment. I love that. I love that. I love that that's the kind of people that read this website. They're worried about turkeys in heaven.

Well, they're not. They're not at all. Yeah, they're just ridiculing people who do, you know? So I think that's a little bit cruel, but whatever. So wait, but was there a point not that pets will be in heaven, but that you won't be able to communicate with them? No. Or both? Neither is.

I guess yeah I actually there was an article or there was a comment right above it that it was in response to that I thought I had saved but it was if you believe you can communicate with any animal you're a fucking moron or something like very aggressive and I was like okay got it interesting so pet psychics what does that comment have to do with pet psychics it was about communicating with animals and how absurd it is to communicate with things. animals. Oh, because you said they're called animal communicators like me. Right. Right. Yeah. And it's just, it's, it's not a website for me. Okay. Okay. That's all. Big fan of quackery. I am. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Alexiner, I wish we could insert a photo into the audio podcast because look at my hair right now. Wow. I mean, it's especially nice today. And I would say that is in large part, thanks to New Nutraful. We love this stuff. At least I do. They work miracles. What can we say? It's actually true. Yeah. Nutriful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement

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when you go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code Beach2 Sandy. That's Nutraful.com, promo code Beach2 Sandy for $10 off. I have one sent in by Abby here. This is of a service. This is a service where somebody finds your lost pet. Oh. But via their search dog. Okay.

So it's not quite... It's called The Social Pet. And it says, I offer full-time professional pet detective services to help find lost pets of all types throughout northern and central California. And there's a, and the dog is dino, the dog. Or Dino.

Dino's mixed breed and it, you think it's Dino? Probably Dino. When I'd see Dino, I wanted to be dinosaur, short for dinosaur. You're probably right. Dang, I always read it as Dino. Dino won't you blow like that. Yep.

Dino is a mixed breed and adopted. through Grateful Dogs Rescue at a year old. And then there's a whole website with, like, different cases of different missing animals being found. Testimonials. Here's the thing, though. The reviews aren't great. 2.4 out of 5 on Yelp. Here is a one-star review.

Oh, no. And there's a long owner response that does, I would say, like, cover pretty much everything, but I will only be reading one part of it. Here is a one-star review. It's from 2013. I really should have read the Yelp reviews before hiring her. I found her to be a straightforward, fairly pleasant woman who clearly believes in everything she does. I believe that she is deluded about her dog's ability to track and in her own abilities.

Throughout the search for my elderly, timid, indoor cat, she fed her dog strawberry watermelon gatorade. What? I could smell the strong fruit flavoring. I cannot believe that after her dog. smelling my cat scent once that he could retain it through eating cat poop, chicken on the ground, and fruit-flavored Gatorade. Her dog ate stuff, peed on things, and looked to her as to where the walk would go next. She led me to the busiest street around and then up to a freeway. Then she said we had to cross over a four-lane road to a spot between the freeway and the exit

ramp. Ridiculous! Oh no! At no time did the dog sniff under a nearby bush, porch, or drain pipe, just headed right out to the freeway. I asked her why we were staying on the side and she said that cat's walk on sidewalks. I stopped the search after an hour. Her dog is just a goofy dog. She said to me, well, there's no way you're getting your money back.

I'd be happy to pay her $100 for her time, but she insists that it's four hours or nothing. End of review. Jeez, and you have to go on the walk with her? I did not know that would be part of it. Probably to be like, hey, kitty, come to me.

I guess, but like, a dog that smells like gatorade. That's hilarious. Here's a thing. It's not hilarious. The premise is hilarious. The missing.

The owner response was pretty, I'm not on any side here, but the owner did point some things out that did seem inconsistent with that review. You wanted to walk across the freeway. You agreed to it. You could have told me right then. Yeah. For example, the owner said that it was actually only 15 minutes that it lasted. and also that she, like, was from the start critical and clearly didn't know and didn't know how this dog worked and searched whatever.

Got low blood sugar. It's more legit than she was basically saying, this is legit. And her website, she does have some cases and stuff, but she also has a case for this cat, which she didn't end up finding. Oh, that feels shady as fuck. The cat did end up coming home. I don't know if she helped with it. I can't say she did.

I can't say she didn't, you know. Yeah. So in the review, sorry, in the owner response, she had picked certain parts, quoted them, and responded. And so this is the quote she's responding to. The quote is, throughout the search for my elderly timid indoor cat, she fed her dog's strawberry watermelon Gatorade. So that was the quote. And here is what the owner has to say. Dino has drank Gatorade of all flavors on every single lost pet search he has.

ever been on, over 425 to date. He also eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Neither which, against this reviewer's deep-rooted beliefs, has ever impaired his tracking ability. In fact, it enhances it, because those are his rewards for working so very hard, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. End of response. This dog is quite a life. It just eats peanut butter.

It goes on long walks searching for cats. And hey, it gets all the electrolytes and that Gatorade. That's right. I mean, listen, what a, that's like breakfast of champions, you know? Yeah. So. Yum. I mean, don't get me wrong.

I think the dog deserves every treat in the world. So I'm not opposed to that. It just feels like kind of a confusing element of this whole search and rescue operation. I mean, unless it's like a quirk, like a detective in like a classic, you know, crime show where they have like their weird quirk or something maybe that's like his quirk you know it's like spinach for pop-i yeah any flavor of gatorade for this dog not any oh right he does different has drank gatorade of all flavors on every single lost pet search my mistake my mistake just whatever Costco has okay that's literally yeah whatever's available wow

i mean peanut butter and jelly sandwiches i i will say like yeah what who who is this reviewer to say what this dog, how this dog should be searching. I mean, it's very strange. Like, don't get me wrong. If someone told me the story, I would need those details just to like get the full picture. But also, I'm not going to be like, yeah, that dog is so bad at doing that because it eats peanut butter, jelly sandwiches. Everyone knows that Gatorade covers up your senses.

Elderly cat's scent. Yeah. So I actually have a post that kind of goes along with that, Zandi. I'm going to fast forward to this part in my notes. This was sent in by Melissa, and it's a post from next door, the app in her area. And this is what Chris posted. This is the subject. Seeking psychic bloodhound to retrieve lost ring.

Here's the post. Hey, folks, can anyone recommend me to a psychic bloodhound? I've been reading a lot about them lately, and I hear the market is exploding in Denver. Someone very special to me lost a ring, and I figure a psychic bloodhound. bloodhound could maybe be just the thing we need to relocate it. I checked the one in Reno, but they are a little pricey. Also, I didn't like the way the bloodhound entered my mind and forced me to give him a treat. Anywho, just hit me up on here if you have a lead. And then Julie Post commented, wow, just curious, are you trying to rent a bloodhound dog? And then Trevor wrote, I have a psychic hermit

crab if that works. And then Randall wrote, I am Randall at psychicrandle.com. I would like to help. And that's it. That's the post. Is that the, was that the hermit crab jumping in? He's like, dad, I can, I can fed for myself. I can advertise for myself on next door. You don't need to introduce me. Was, was that post, did it take like a year later? It was so slow typing it out the hermit crab. No, he's psychic. He doesn't even need to type. He just kind of like, ooh, you know. That's what psychic means, just going, ooh, woo, woo. Yeah, I also like that I don't like the way the bloodhound enter my mind and forced me to give him a treat. He just wanted to gatorade.

Honestly, I think that's how most dogs work for me if there are treats around. That's how most dogs operate. So I don't think this is a bloodhound specific trait, but this person does sound weak-willed. I did like all the kind comments. Like one was a little bit like tongue-in-cheek, you know, like I have a second. a kermit crab but the other ones were pretty like huh just curious what's happening you know i i just love how respectful about doubting their sanity but kindly yeah yeah yeah giving a little room for explanation um and i like that it was about finding a missing ring not like an animal

which is always sadder obviously that is very true um a psychic bloodhound first of all like the point of a bloodhound is that they track a scent so this can adding the psychic element is so strange to me it's like that's why it's so powerful i guess oh it just amplifies their powers yeah i think it makes a lot of sense to want a psychic bloodhound like a psychic chihuahua come on please like i love chihuahuas don't get me wrong but how useful is a psychic chihuahua compared to a psychic bloodhound fair enough Here is something that was sent in by Kirstie, Sheher, who sent in a review of The Animal Psychic. It's a book on Amazon. So here is a two-star review, verified purchase, titled Take with a Grain of Salt.

This is by Diane. The author definitely seems to have skills, psychic skills for both humans and animals, and business skills. I suspect all these skills are utilized in combination. But if you are being told your pet is speaking in sentences, especially ones containing pithy remarks, I would advise caution. End of review. If your dog has the same vocabulary as you do

and tends to find the same thing's funny. I mean, I suppose that's a fair argument. But then again, like, it's one of those things you probably can't prove one way or another. know that's true like maybe your dog just has clever remarks but maybe you can't prove it one way but but like maybe your dog is clever remarks and you guys just never mind anything I'm about to say it sounds too stupid so I'm going to show up you're already in it just keep going no no okay no I'll die nobly in silence promise oh you're mad at me today

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Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash beach today. That's rocketmoney.com slash beach. Rocketmoney.com slash beach. Okay, this was sent in by Amanda from New York. This is a review of pet psychic or animal communicator, Joan Rankett. And there are some testimonials on her website, and this is one of them, written by Lee in Melbourne, Florida.

Just wanted to let you know that. Toby is urinating in the toilet. We caught him on videotape. Oh, you caught him, first of all. That's not good. That's not good. If you're going to be communicating with your pets, you should understand boundaries first, you know. It feels like that's just a given, but what do I know?

I feel like just even planning to communicate psychically with your pet is breaking a boundary. Okay. Just even like thinking to do that. They don't have to communicate back. Yeah, then they better. But I guess, but I don't know. They don't, they don't, they're fine. They don't want it.

They don't want that. There's no way. I'm in total disagreement with you. Just wanted to let you know that Toby is urinating in the toilet. We caught him on videotape. I kept picturing him going into the litter box as you told me to do, but he has been doing his pee-pee in the toilet. Wait, I don't know. So this person was manifesting the litter box.

I don't know. I'm confused about that because they're so excited. The cat was like, uh-uh, it's toilet time. Toilet or nothing. Toilet or bust. That's me every morning getting out of bed. I kept, I know I caught you on camera. No.

I kept picturing him. going into the litter box as you told me to do, but he has been doing his pee in the toilet. My husband and I were totally in awe how he just started doing this on his own. Did you tell him to do that? Hope you are doing well. Dr. Masami says hi. End of review. Who the hell is Dr.

Masami? I think that's the cat. No. I'm serious. That does sound like a cat that would use a toilet. Yeah. Who's like a humid trapped in a cat's body, you know? And he's like, I would not be.

Like, don't be ridiculous. I would not be caught dead using a litter box. Yikes. Dr. Masami says hello. I don't know. Maybe that's the vet. I have no idea. Also, you don't have to say that because the psychic probably already knows that if they're communicating.

Knows what? That Dr. Masami says hi. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. Although, I will say. I was just watching an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. And Gordon Ramsey, this one rest. restaurant had a tarot card reader and he went up to her and was like tell me he said something like

tell me how it's going to go tonight like he's like tell me now and it's like look as skeptical as one might be it never works that way you don't just like go up and demand demand something like that you know if you're trying to get a really nice like something done in in the physical plane and you're just yell at the person doing it, it's probably not going to result in, like, a spectacular outcome, you know, whether it's like a psychic thing or like a paint job or whatever. A what? A paint job. Isn't that a thing, a paint job?

Like where someone paints something. What? A paint. What's the context? Who are we yelling at? We're yelling at the paint? No, idiot. What are you talking?

talking about. I have no idea what just happened. We're talking about Gordon Ramsey yelling at a tarot card reader. Yeah, like if you're going to yell at someone who's because you don't believe their abilities or whatever, it's like you, it's like in any interaction with another human who's providing a service, like yelling at them is probably not going to produce a desired outcome. Yeah. Whether you're getting a room painted, a paint job. Okay. Any other kind of job? I don't know. Like yelling at them and being like I don't believe Like on your car Like I'm not

Yeah Of all things to choose I mean I'm thinking I was thinking like What's the opposite of a psychic reading And it's like getting your car detailed or painted Yeah Painted Like Pimp my ride

No I feel like there's yelling on that show There's definitely, that's its own creative enterprise. I would not dare to step on those toes, but. And one might say that it does not end well. Precisely. Exactly my point. Thank you.

Yes, good. Good point. And anyway, I, yeah, I just, I just have been watching a lot of Gordon Ramsey. So, but yeah, psychics, pet psychics, I imagine it's, you know what? I don't know. I just think it's, it's an interesting. thing. It is an interesting thing, we can agree on that.

I'm quite skeptical of. I'm not really, but you know, everyone probably already knows that about me. I have a review sent in by Kersi of a TV series called The Pet Psychic with Sonia Fitzpatrick. Hmm.

And here, there's no star value, but I'm going to say it's one star. But there's a lot of star power. Terminator 180 on October 7th, 2003, had this to say. Even more fake than Survivor. This woman needs to be placed in a rubber room. If you want to communicate with an animal, try feeding it.

Buying a few books doesn't hurt either. End of review. Okay, buying a few books. What does that mean? Like books how to care for your animal, I guess? Yeah, books on caring for your animal, learning how your animal... if you're animal. And,

yeah, okay. And learning to pick up on their behaviors and their moods. I just feel like there's an intuitive sense of like, hey, you can usually communicate with your pet on a level that I feel like we have to give a little bit of credence to. Yeah.

And in the end, they always say they want more treats and then you give it to them. Right. What a weird coincidence. And the world goes around and around and around. Yeah. Okay. So I have some testimonials here too.

from laura at of laura at the pet psychic.com i'm going to send you a picture because this one comes with an image and there are these fun little graphics that uh laura has made for her website this is from dash the puppy the puppy dog he says does my mom want me to attack another man i feel like there's a jerk at work mom would love for me to attack end quote dash wow that's dash's testimonial wow it's a little scruffy dog too which is very funny it's not like it says does my mom want me to attack another man yeah yeah um but like imagine if a psychic said that to you and you were like oh shit he did attack a man yeah like how did you know that this little terrier whatever the fuck this isn't like even a what is this thing it's a little curly rat dog it's cute I don't know

I would love to be attacked by this dog because I imagine it would be lots of of like kisses. I tell Gio to attack you all the time and it never quite works away, I hoped. I imagine it will be the same, but I do like that this dog's like, let me add him. Let me add him. I feel like there's a jerk. I need to. A little scrappy do energy.

It is scrappy do energy for sure. Aw. Yeah. I love scrappy do. I know you do. Oh yeah. I have one more thing. This was sent in by Shelby, she heard, who sent in a screenshot of,

a post on the psychic reviews.com I'll just read the original post just I guess for some context this topic was titled Pet Psychic and here is what

jazz had to say I just read with Ask Grace Ask Grace is the name of one of the psychics for the first time and wow she is really great with animals

I asked about my cat and she was accurate But what was most mind-blowing for me was that she said, Did you have a cat with a round head? It looks like her ears were cropped. Yes, I most certainly did have a cat like that. I had to have her ears cropped because she had horrible growths all over the tips

and they were pre-cancerous. So she ended up with a very round-looking head. I went on to ask about other animals that have crossed over and her information was spot on. FYI, I did ask a little about myself, but she doesn't make future predictions. You're like, speaking of pets, there's a pet in my house that's about 5'5 and has a date this evening. And loves treats.

And there's some like back and forth. And people were, some people are like, oh yeah, pets are her forte. Like she's not as good as with humans and human being a human psychic. And there's another psychic named Jedi. Okay. And here is what Carla has to say about Jedi. So there are three other psychics that are about to be named, okay? Jedi, Stephanie, and Cookie, okay? I'm obsessed.

And it's confusing because they sound like they could be pets. But only some of them sound like they could be pets. Like Stephanie, Stephanie doesn't sound necessarily like a pet, but Cookie for sure and Jedi for sure. And Grace could go either way. Yeah, it's so confusing. But here is the comment, okay? All the names are psychics. The dog is not named.

Okay. Jedi was right for me about a dog I was fostering. Stephanie's guided taro was so wrong. So was Cookie. They both said it would work out and I'd adopt him after a few hiccups. Nope. He'd bit a kid on the face and I had to get rid of him. Oh, no.

Cookie, read the room. Oh, no. Oh, no. Cookie, couldn't call. All that. Maybe in an alternate timeline, you know, that kid never provoked the dog into biting him. Oh, that's timeline cookies. I want some of whatever cookie smoking.

For real. Get on that timeline. Yeah. Okay, this is the last thing I have. It is just one more testimonial from the pet psychic.com of Laura's services. And this one is Chester from heaven had this to say. She's a medium also. away from all the turkeys oh i'm sure just eating them you know oh my god they're eating the

turkeys they're getting eaten again where do they go after that super heaven or do they go to hell is that like no they just keep getting reintroduced to the population jesus factory farming up there basically yeah how else would they be able to sustain you know um anyway this is chester from heaven i am happy and there is no bullshit here end of testimonial And that's all I need to know about cat heaven. There's no more bullshit. Oh, my God. And I bet the owner, whoever owned Chester was like, yep, that's Chester.

That's right. That's fitting. That tracks. That seems like what Juniper would say. Yeah. Or at least what he would hope for. I feel like he'd be, he'd say something that, like, that's on the level of, like, just some great philosopher. Yes, he'd say something about factory farming.

it's like when you watch a very like silly movie and there's like this really deep quote that's dropped yeah like uh spy kids two oh yeah i think steve bushemi's character says like do you ever think god sits in heaven like looks down in oh in like fear of what he's created something like dramatic thing it's something insane and you're like that can't be right that can't be from that movie and then he just it's just like they shake it off and move on it's like what yeah what just happened that's for sure for sure sure that's uh that's juniper's vibe yeah he's the whatever the opposite of comedic relief is that's what juniper is yeah okay so zandi it is time for my challenge already that felt fast

no i'm like i could talk for about pet psychics for day i know several pet animal communicators oh no wonder you're being so cagey about it i'm not being cagey at all i think they might listen to this i got to be careful i'm not i'm not being KG at all. I told you. I 100% find it to be a truthful, verifiable thing. Not verifiable, maybe in the classic sense. But I find it to be completely possible. And I have many friends who do it. I'm not being KG. Look, I've got a lot of friends who are skeptivets. So that's why I'm being KG. I have to walk this line. Yeah, you have to be careful. I get it. I get it. When we're offline we can maybe chat more about your whole pigeon i'd rather not journey okay much to alexander's great disappointment we have to move on from pet psychics and head into my challenge this week my challenge was to find reviews of cookie cutters that didn't look quite right um people which is many which is many and uh leone and i recently

dumped out all the cookie cutters. She was playing the Play-Doh or something, and I got out all the like ones that were collecting dust in a cabinet. And she's like, what's this one? And I was like, oh, let me see. And I looked at it and I was like, I genuinely do not know. There were somewhere I thought, I must have purchased this. There's a subreddit for it. Yeah, there is a subreddit for it, which is amazing. I have one sent in by a review sent in by Sam, he, him. You know what? The way I wanted to do this is send you a picture and see if you could guess what it is. Although I do feel like it might be more obvious than I realize, like, or not that I realize, but it might be obvious, but, um. The hell?

Uh, so it looks like a shoe. I really thought you were going to know right away, so I feel better already. No, I have no idea what the hell I'm looking at. It's supposed to be the leg lamp from a Christmas story. Oh, okay. Yeah. See it now? Yeah.

It's like, once you see it, it's hard to kind of un-stained. It's very skewed at the top. It's ridiculous. And then in the middle, there's a little. There's just like a tinsy pinch of a little... Yeah. It's real wonky looking. Mostly the picture is what does it for this one, but it says this most certainly does

not resemble the famous A Christmas Story Leglamp, no matter how you cut it. How it arrived straight out of the package. And then this picture. Yikes. Yeah, it's not. It's not it. That one's rough. That's not going to work.

I don't even know if you'd be able to like... fix that because it's so bad shape. No, I don't think so. Um, oh, question real quick. How do you know about the subreddit? Is that something you already knew about or is that something you discovered? Oh, wow. You already knew that existed. I did not. Well, this might be when you recognize it. It looks like this went pretty viral, but I'll send it to you. The caption is, found it goodwill and plastic so newer, but what the heck is it? One person said Hobbit house, another set of mushroom. Here's the picture.

And we'll put these on Instagram. Oh, dear God. It immediately, I see it. No, I've not, I had not seen this before. Now, I would say if you look at just the cookie cutter. Are we putting this on Instagram? Maybe not. Maybe we have to blur it. I don't think this one we're putting on Instagram. You're right. Why is this the one I so boldly said I would post on the internet?

I don't know. Yeah. Not my finest moment, but like if you just look at the cookie cutter part, Hobbit House Jesus Christ You can't necessarily tell what it is Well not at all I don't know because of the It looks yeah

If you see You want to tell people What we're looking at It's a labia It's pretty well it's actually much more than that But if you zoom in to the cookie cutter I can definitely see it So it's basically like a

A woman's behind Bending over You can see With a dress on But no panties on No panties on. All her goods are on display. That is insanity.

It looks like a like almost Fisher Price style like yellow, bright yellow plastic cookie color. Well, yeah, it looks like something that would come with like a Play-Doh set. Yeah, it's like deceptively innocent looking and then you kind of press it into the dough and it's like, oh dear, okay. I see the Hobbit House resemblance. Yeah, yeah. So here are some comments, Sandy. Oh, uh-oh. Nikki wrote,

My Innocent Mind saw two Pikachu holding hands for two minutes straight, and then my brain clicked in. Now, I don't see that. I see the Pikachu's. They're weird looking, but I see it. Okay. I see a cat. Two cats dancing.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. I've been staring at this for too long. I know, Alexander. It's going to haunt me. Okay. John says, well, it does start off with, quote, in a hole, there lived a Hobbit. Oh, my God.

There were a lot of Hobbit jokes on. This is a Facebook group, by the way. It was reposted into a Facebook group. And then in response to that comment, Tim said, at John. And if I recall correctly, the hole was neither damp and full of worms nor dry and dusty. It was a very comfortable hole. So now we're just quoting J.R.R. token. Okay, that took it a little far.

Yeah, and that only got four reactions, whereas the original got 24, and it's like, okay. Yeah, someone had to take it too far. Someone had to take it a little too far. And then this is what one woman wrote, I need this. My husband has made me eggplant emoji pancakes for 12 years, and I love it. I always say, the day I'm given a regular pancake, I'll assume there's something wrong. now I want to make him coochie cookies. Ha ha ha!

End of comment. Hey, the fun-loving couple right there. Keep the spice alive, you know. I'm like just picturing that dramatic day when the pancakes are normal. What do you think would be wrong? Like if we were writing a screenplay. I think he has dementia and he forgot. He forgot to make them shaped like a penis.

Yeah, and then he's like, why would you say something? like that, you know. I was thinking more of like some marital issues, but yeah, that could be. That's so much sadder. I know. I wanted to take it a little too far, just like my friend Tim. Yeah. You just jumped right there.

You started up like, what do you think? I hadn't even thought about dementia. Before he just came to mind, you know? Unlike the penis pancakes to him. I can't. I can't turn this creative mind off, you know. It's a blessing and a curse. Yeah, until the dementia sets in.

I know. I know. And then you'll, I'll make you breakfast and you'll say, oh, no, something's terribly wrong. Because they're shaped like penises. Yeah. And I'm like, ew, why are you doing this? Something's wrong. Yeah, yeah.

And it'll be this conversation I remember. So this was. So sad that this. is what you remember when you have dementia. I'm trying to make it as sad as possible, okay. It's working. Okay, good. So this was sent in by Michelle, she-her, and this is from the subreddit, or directly

from the sub-reddit, R, what is my cookie cutter? I don't know if you've seen this one. It seems to have gotten quite a bit of conversation going. This is a favorite of mine now. It's like a video. What the hell? Mishma. It's like a giant.

Like I see bells. I see stars. It's sort of, it's called a, let me see, scrapless cookie cutter. So you take an entire cookie sheet or a dough of cookie dough and you put the whole thing on it to make 32 cookies with one stencil with one cookie cutter. That's, okay, but, huh. Huh, that's a choice. Help if I tell you it's from like 1964.

Yeah, that makes more sense. Because here's the box. I thought maybe this would clarify a few things. Because also these are like the lamest cookies. Oh. So it's basically a vintage Christmas cookie set that doesn't, that allegedly doesn't waste any dough. And then.

Yeah, it's a, but it does because half these cookies are horrific looking. Because these are nothing, yeah. I have a few comments here from Reddit that really got me good. Okay, that's glad you brought that up first because here is one comment. Somebody said, I can't pick my favorite. And the commenter said, maybe it's crypted Santa. And before you ask, yes, of course he eats skin instead of cookies. Edit.

Oh, my God. think there's actually blood on his mouth. Santa, no, I was joking about the skin. It really does look kind of like he's an Ed Gein-esque. Yeah, no, this is not healthy. It's really troubling. It's really troubling. It looks like an alien or monster, something from a different, like, world than ours.

Like trying to fit in. But not trying even that hard. Like, not trying very hard. Certainly not trying hard enough. Yeah. And then this comment I also loved, which was, or the classic nativity skunk. And there's what appears to me, maybe a reindeer, but it's all black with a white stripe.

And it looks kind of like. It looks like it's like a demon dog, like Cerberus from a certain angle or something. Like that a four-year-old drew, like kind of shapeless. Yeah. This is Leona level. I mean, if she drew that, I'd be thrilled. somebody took what I think was supposed to be a sleigh and wrote I like piece of raw meat it does look like raw meat looks like a big pork job or something I mean it's really rough

and then this comment was so many butt plug looking things I know and it's a mess all the animals don't look like any they look different from each other but also all amorphous This is a squirrel, and they said, Pikachu lost his bones. It was super effective. Oh, my God. It looks like a melted Pikachu. Like a Pikachu popsicle with the red eye. Yeah, yep.

Melted. And then this is my last one that I have here for us, but it's probably my favorite. Somebody zoomed in and cropped this photo out and said, Somehow you missed done squeezing lemon into newborn's eyes. And if you zoom in this very intricate. kit, I mean, I think it's Mother Mary. It looks like it's Mother Mary leaning over baby Jesus. It does look.

Yeah, like she's squeezing a lemon into her anymore. And does the baby's face look upside down to you? Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep, sure does. Also, like, imagine that shape, like, if you took all the color and all that off, it looks like an oyster or clam sh-like an oyster or something. Oh, it does, yeah.

See what I mean? Like, I, if I saw that cookie without anything on it, the last thing I would think is, oh, it's Mother Mary with an infant. Well, that's how I felt seeing that freaking first picture. Turn it to the side. You could turn it. Like, the fact that they, like, forced each one to be something is crazy. Like, I was like, oh, this must be excess dough in the middle. No, they just made it, they pretend it's a squirrel, but it's a very lumpy squirrel.

Yeah, it's a stretch. Well, that is all I've got for you today. Tune in next week for more, what do you call it? What's the word when you're defying God? Jesus Christ. You know, blasphemous. For more blasphemous content like this. Yeah.

What was blasphemous about? I don't know. All the cookie cutters about Mother Mary and how she's squeezing a lemon into a baby's eyes, that kind of thing. And you're a want to eat her? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There's two Mother Mary. There's two.

There's the one over there. Oh, look at the dog above the squirrel on the left. I kind of don't want to. Okay. Fine. Thanks for listening, everyone. Hope you're all enjoying your winter. far and pet psychics are real pet psychics are actually called pet communicators animal communicators

your mom communicators all right see you later bye You're going to be.