Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 374: Reviews of Puzzles

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

I put a 2 million dollar puzzle together and all I got was this lousy QR codeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. Don't miss out. Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show. Only at BetMGM. Access to the Price is right fortune pick is only available at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BedmGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.

Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach to Sandy Water 2. There's a grandma phone above your head. I just bonk my head. Why did I put you? But look, there's like a bugle above your head now. A bugle?

Look at this. Yes, I see it. You look like you are in an Alexander Hamilton Museum. Oh, yeah, it does look like that. Why him? Is he a big fan of the gramophone? You've got the same first name and Graham Bell is the one I was really thinking of. But look at this.

Okay, we moved the couch to try and be better. To be better. To be better. This is our one effort in 2026 to be better. We moved her couch around. That's right. And I moved it to be fair. You're welcome.

Yeah. So I accidentally put him here and then he... I'm paying the price. Well, I'm sorry. Should I pull it out, the couch out more? No. Let it happen. Well, I'm sorry about this gramophone.

Do you know what it is? A gramophone? I have no idea. Oh, wait, it's something stupid. Is it like a phone speaker? Maybe. I mean, it's something smart. Isn't it a phone speaker?

Shut up. I bought it on Etsy back when I had a shopping problem. I'm better now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say you're better. I did just get tell you about my phone. vibration plate.

She's like, I'm decluttering, but I did just get this vibration plate. She still hasn't explained what it is, and I don't want to know. I'm buying you for somatic healing, somatic healing, nervous system regulation, etc. Lymphatic drainage. Have you heard that the body keeps a score? All right. I think Jay Shetty wrote that. Okay.

First of all, the J. Shetty bit, I re-listened to the episode. It was out of control. Out of control. I don't even remember. I don't either, but I know it was bad. So I will try my best to not address him directly in this episode. Were you addressing him directly last? I mean, it felt like the rule of threes.

I felt like I was summoning him. So like kind of. Yeah, like a beetle juice situation. Right. Yeah. Bloody Mary, I was thinking. Oh, yeah. So anyway, welcome to Feetchutti's a podcast, a really dangerous one where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion.

Today we're talking about puzzles. Yeah. I don't think that's crazy. We haven't done this yet. It is. And look at what I have here, which was not intentional. Wow, a puzzle that says Bavaria jigsaw. It's a puzzle. It's of a picture. It's not of the word Bavaria. Sorry. It's a jigsaw puzzle. It is. I asked for Christmas. I said, I just want a puzzle. And I knew like, okay, just say puzzle. Then you'll be open to whatever happens.

And like, it happened exactly the way I expected. My mom went to the outlet mom bought me a Bavaria, Germany puzzle, which is great. I love it. She told me, I forget where it is specifically in Bavaria, but she was like, oh, it's this place. She's been, something like, I lived in that window right there. I used to hang my laundry out that window. Back in the 1800s. And, you know, it's also weird, Zandi, because I think maybe it's just because this was on my mind. But for almost like six months now, I've been working on my puzzle stream.

Oh, yeah? Have I told you about this? Like peeing? What? Oh, like online streaming. What? You said stream. I was like, well, you're streaming.

I didn't know you streamed. I don't. And I actually made it. a whole like layout for it. Cool. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. But it was so long ago and then I kind of gave up on it.

But now that I'm like cleaning my house, decluttering, except for the vibration plate. I think that it could be my first puzzle, my Bavaria puzzle. That's a good idea. Moth puzzle. But then, you know. I have that Lego lighthouse that I need to make on. I was going to make it on my stream. I've got a Lego general store from the old Wild West.

I've seen that. You're right. That's a cool one. That's what I'm going to do, I think, with the stream. I don't know what it's called. I don't know. And I don't know if it's ever going to happen, which is why I haven't brought it up. But my idea was to do puzzles on stream and just talk and play old-timey music.

Like, speaking of gramophones, like they're like, oh, baby, wow kind of music. They're playing that in the coffee shop, like something you'd like listen to and you're jalopy on the way to the soda fountain or whatever. And then I thought, oh, I was going to do Bavaria. And then I could talk about my experiences with Bavaria. And then I was like, well, now that's going to have to be a really. exclusive on the DL situation. Yeah. I probably shouldn't say too much.

Be careful. I worry that if I get on stream and I'm just doing a puzzle and talking and having a glass of wine that I'm just going to say. Say a slur. No, I did do that. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. I was just being a joke.

By accident. That was a very clear accident. And I'm sorry for everyone who caught that. It was when I was discussing Piccadilly Square and I said something by accident without, we didn't even hear it. The editor, none of us heard it. So I apologize, we took it out. That was not cool. Alexander's been talking about it every day since. Yes. Almost true. Yeah. And so instead, I thought, but like, I'm a friend I'm going to say too much about, do you, when you stream, are you kind of like... So I've realized something very recently about my streaming.

Tell me. Two weeks ago, as you know, I was diagnosed as bipolar for the first time ever. Okay. Now it's all about him all of a sudden. It is. And you told me that stream, the day after that whatever meds I'm on, I should keep them up. They haven't been hardworking, but... Were those the same meds? Yeah, the day after I started my bipolar meds. Anyway, in hindsight, looking at my streaming and how I'd like not stream for months and then suddenly be like, oh my God, I need to stream.

And then I have all this, yeah, fucking manic episodes. So I really only streamed when I was manic. So I don't really know what that means. That's kind of my plan. But I said a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have said and I revealed things I probably shouldn't have revealed, but also it was my family, my little stream community. They were great.

And I don't regret anything. Like I feel like if someone says, hey, tell me about your experience with XYZ. And I'm like, hey, this will happen with like a dynamic with somebody or, I don't know. Like, I just want to talk, but I also don't want to. You're overthinking it. Okay. Just stream and make puzzles and listen to your weird ass music. All right.

So I'm going to do that. Anyway, stay tuned for that. We don't know when that's coming, if ever. Maybe next time I'm manic also. Yeah. Here are some reviews of puzzles that she will maybe do. Yeah. See how bad they are, though.

All right. I'll get us started. And then just a heads up. My challenge this week was to find reviews where reviewers mention what their name means. Sounds difficult. Yeah. I can't wait to get into that. So this is from Jacks, who wrote for you, a neck, as in Throg's Neck,

refers to a narrow peninsula that extends into waters where two bodies of water meets, like the kind of place where a lighthouse would be, says Jacks. That seems like a call out a little bit. It is because it has a winky tongue emoji. Okay. Put that tongue away, Jacks. Oh, that's good info. Thank you.

Elise and Mat She, Her, He, He wrote this, White Mountain Puzzle Stores. This is a toy store puzzle store, to be specific. There's a one-star review by Michaela. Did not go in due to sign on door reading, please cover your bear back. Huh? What? Why do they have to say that? Just put up a sign telling people to wear a shirt.

I don't want to have to figure out what you think constitutes a bear back while wearing a tank top or strapless dress. What a ridiculous sign. It is so specific. Someone has like a thing with backs in that store, either good or bad and they need protection from it. I'm glad you're so intuitive because here's the response from owner. Michaela, we're so sorry for the misunderstanding. The sign on the door says, please cover your beverage. Thank you, White Mountain Puzzles.

Oh, my gosh. Cover your bare back. That's so funny. Cover your beverage. That's so funny. Because if I saw that and saw bear back, I'd be like, is this a joke? Like, there must be a joke here. Like, it's a bit.

But it doesn't even say that. No. It's... And it seems like this isn't like a recurring problem because I don't think that... It doesn't seem like something that... came up again in any of the reviews. Most puzzlers are able to read. Oh, maybe it is a puzzle.

Maybe you're supposed to like puzzle it out, like a riddle. Yeah, it's an anagram. And she said bear back. And they were like, whoa, that is not where we were going. From beverage, I got Bearback. And now she's running home to get a shawl. And everyone's confused. We should stop saying Bearback.

This is not good. I'm going to read a review of sent in my grapefruit street. She sent in a review of on Walmart, Buffalo Games, 1,000 piece, Amy Stewart, Mary, mushroom village picnic adult interlocking jigsaw puzzle now this sounds fun so it's a thousand pieces it looks like an lSD trip bunch of fairies and mushrooms but i don't think it's meant to be an lSD trip i know i know is a two-star review i know i'll uh expense it the lsd the puzzle oh why my new vent hobby oh yeah yeah everything we talk about on here we should have talked about

really expensive ones been like it's for the podcast watches yeah i have oh i meant expensive puzzles then you ask what's expensive. I'm like, I have 10,000 piece puzzle. I don't know. I'm not buying it. Look at my house. 10,000 pieces. I barely have room for a vibration plate in here.

Stop saying vibration plate. We don't know what that is and we don't want to know. This is a two-star review of this weird mushroom thing on Walmart. Verified purchase by Diane. This is a puzzle, not crochet hooks. Oh, no. But like. I just love that.

That's an old person probably is this Diane's like. I bet you Crochet looks instead of my puzzle Deliver to the senior home Or like any of my friends They aren't allowed to have weapons So maybe they were like well actually That's not safe to get in

True But like here's the thing Was that in Walmart? Yeah Because I feel like it's one of those things When you have a shopper shopping for you And then it's like here are some substitutions And you're like what the fuck?

Like that's a spatula Where do you come up with this shit? Honestly, that's one of those things. Honestly, that might be what it was. Because it was a verified purchase. So, like, why would they buy it and then be like, what? And Walmart seems to be egregious about this because, like, we see, even with the old-timey candies, it was like, you just made up a whole brand new.

You brought me like a totally different kind. Yeah. I think it's just the nature of. It seems like a decent replacement of all things in Walmart. They might, you know, some people would have said. Built in, you don't need extra tools. Like, you can hobby right now. That's true.

The heck, Diane, chill. It's your fucking deal. You just got a puzzle. instead of your crochet hooks. You probably have other crochet hooks. Don't they have a bunch of different sizes? Yeah. I've tried crocheting.

I've tried it for like 10 minutes. It's terribly difficult. I've review of the Harry Potter Hogwarts Castle 1,500 piece jigsaw puzzle. Yikes. Yeah. It is from Amazon, and this was also sent by Elisa Matt. Here's a one-star review by Tessa called Awful, just Awful.

If you are even a little bit colorblind, do not purchase this puzzle. Oh no. And this is coming from a woman who isn't colorblind in the slightest. This puzzle is made up of three colors, all of which are nearly the same color. Save yourself the frustration and buy a different puzzle. End of review. Okay, okay. I feel that that's not accurate. It is not accurate. And also... There's a lot of colors on this. Remember the white album puzzle? I was about to bring that up. People do shit like that. That's not the same. There are difficult puzzles. Yeah. Yeah, you can see it and be like, oh, the difficulty level, you know? Are you thinking? In the same screenshot, just real quick, it says, fades after first wash.

First wash? Washed once in design is already fading, not worth the money. And so I don't know. Is there puzzle cleaning? Is that a thing? I don't know. I mean, you know, they sell those, like, mats so you can roll your puzzle up. Maybe they just accidentally toss that in the wash. True. Or take it to the dry cleaner.

Wiped off in one. All those three colors wiped off in one wash. Still sad. You shouldn't put fabric softener in with your puzzles. True. Unless it's made of fabric. Very true. Hey, do you have any pets?

Only a whole circus of them. Whoa. Yeah, three of them welcomed you today, actually. That's true. I did see them. Oh, I realize now, of course. Those are your pets. They are. They're my zoo and my circus, and they give you a lot of side eye, but they love you. And I love them back. A quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program.

These days, we insure just about everything. Cars that lose value the second we drive them, phones we trade in every two years and trips we haven't even taken yet. but our pets who are truly irreplaceable often go unprotected. With ASPCA pet health insurance, you can get help with unexpected vet bills and make sure your dog or cat gets the care they need when they need it. And when you're looking out for them, there's a little extra something in it for you, too. When you enroll in an ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you're doing something great for your pet.

To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com slash to Sandy. That's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash to Sandy. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCApet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either independent American insurance company or United States fire insurance company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Hey, we moved the litter box into our primary bathroom at our house and it can get real rough in there.

Yeah, I bet it stinks to high heaven. It does. But not since we started using Boxy Cat. Oh, I thought it was because you used the bathroom. Well, that part I haven't fixed yet. Oh, got it. But the cat thing, it's been handled, okay? On today's podcast, we ask, is the litter box the worst thing about having a cat?

Yes, always, yes. Absolutely. The pro and Boxy Pro stands for probiotics, which stop the bacteria that caused odors so you never smell your litter box ever again. All you do is top off the litter and you never have to dump out the whole box. Oh, my God. It's a dream. amazing clumping power.

Yeah, that's what they say. It really does. I've tried it. I've seen it. And it makes scooping easier. I was scooping like nobody's business after Marco and Punky is their litter box. Is that why your biceps are huge? Massive. If you're tired of switching litters looking for the one, get Boxy at B-O-X-I-E-C-A-T.com.

It's the last litter you'll switch to. Enjoy 30% off with code beach at boxycat.com. That's B-O-X-I-E-C-A-T-com forward slash beach. My next one was sent in by Abby, and she sent in a review of the National Parks puzzle for adults, a thousand pieces. It's a bunch of, like, posters. Oh, cool. In one puzzle of all the different, I don't know of all, but a bunch of national parks. And this is on Amazon, and this is a one-star review.

Missing a single piece. Me and my girlfriend loved it, but after two nights in a kid-free home, when we finally finished, we saw we were one piece short. and spent a good bit of time thinking we were crazy and it must be in the house, but nope, we tore our place up looking for it. Edit. After receiving the replacement puzzle and spending hours putting that one together, we were once again short one single piece. What?

I altered this review from two stars to one. Don't waste your time and money with these sellers. Is it the same piece? I assume they sent the other one back in, maybe. Does that make sense? I don't know. But like to receive a second one and then it's still, that's just nuts. Yeah, it doesn't say the same piece, but it just say.

Like, why would the company send the same thing that same exact? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Holy shit. That would make me, I mean, that. Yeah. Because like, you got one piece wrong and you're like, oh, like missing. Like, oh, maybe could have lost it somehow like in the days I was working on this.

Like somehow it could be gone. Then you get a replacement and the same thing happens. You know, they said child free home. They didn't say cat free. They didn't say Atlanta free, bird free. Are they adult free? Ghost free. Whoa, true.

Oli, ollie oxen free. Sometimes I think. They didn't say ollie oxen free. The ghosts really do like to take one thing that you need and then you're supposed to ask for it back. Oh, is that how works? Yeah, that happened to my air pod. It happened to your retainer. In my retainer.

It happened to a lot of my. I think they keep taking your stuff. I haven't taken my stuff. They probably are. I did have an auditory hallucination yesterday. No! Tell me everything. I just heard a clock ticking and I was mad because I had taken the battery out.

And I heard it ticking and I was getting so annoyed and I got out of my room across the hall to the bathroom where the clock was. And the battery was still out and the ticking wasn't there. I think I was just tired. I don't think I'd actually. I also think I keep seeing animals out of the corner of my eye. Like constantly. The ghosts. Every day I keep like looking.

I'm like, oh, what was that? And it was nothing. Well, you're also at my house alone. There are animals always in the corner of your eyes. That is true. But whenever I look, there's no animal. It doesn't really happen here either at your house. This is a review sitting by Megan Sheeher.

It's of the New Yorker Beach Going Puzzle. Okay, that looks fun. Yeah, it's cute. It's like the cover of the New Yorker, a cover where there's a very crowded beach, lots of different people and families and umbrellas and ice cream and all sorts of fun stuff. This is a four-star review, so it is a redemption by Rebecca, called Sunburned at the Beach. This was fun. What I liked most was lots of action, even in the ocean.

There is no endless expanse of empty water or sky. There are people swimming, splashing, or in a boat, wherever you look. The beach is packed with people, and at any moment, someone is going to run into or step on slash grab your ball. No, stay way. Or blow smoke in your face. What? What?

Is there someone with a cigar, a cigarette? Someone just with a big doobie? No. Not a one. Check under the boardwalk. Oh, well look. Well, look, there's a, there's a... Look, who's coming in hot.

Is that the po-po? That's the poe-po coming in. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I rated it four, because I did not enjoy the artistic display of most of the crowd. Maybe the artist was cynical misanthrope. What? you. A New Yorker cartoonist? I mean, I don't know. If anyone can be a cynical cartoonist.

I was going to say it may be matches, but. I don't see anything wrong with the cover. It's just a bunch of people. And yeah, they're not like models, but that's because it looks like a very New Yorker design. I don't know. It doesn't look anything. If you just showed this to me without the title, I would say that's the cover of a New Yorker magazine. Yeah. And I love that they're like, oh, I love all the fun stuff happening, but everyone here is. Except all of the people. And it's an entire beach full of people. That's the whole point.

Because any of this looks cynical. I mean, it sounds like smoke blowing in your face. You are primed to be cynical about the beach. Yeah, this person is projecting something. They're like on the beach making this puzzle. And they're like, I don't appreciate how all these people look. You must be right because here is the boardwalk. It's probably a big poof of smoke coming out.

True. Yeah. Yeah. And when Rebecca was a little wee lass. Oh, my God. I remember. Remember when you blew smoke? You were hiding from the cops.

And I was blowing it right in her face. That's right. I was a wee lad, by the way. I was not an adult doing that to a wee last. Let's be clear. Yeah, and I was a cynical misandrobe. Yeah, you were watching. Here is another one sent in by Abby.

Oh, good stuff. This one is a review of the puzzle antelope. Nope, that is the store. I was going to say, that doesn't make sense. That's so weird because earlier today I bookmarked a website called Antelope puzzles. And I was going to buy their roly up puzzle thing. Yeah. Because I don't live in a child free home, and I have lots of animals everywhere.

Yes, you do. So the puzzle just doesn't last. My bad. I read it wrong. It says antelope hyphen, a thousand piece puzzle for adults, comma, dog park jigsaw puzzles. Oh, cute. So it's a dog park, similar vibe, honestly, to the one you just read, a bunch of people, a lot of action. Someone's ball stealing.

Oh, my God, their balls everywhere. What the heck? It's a dog park. Yeah, but I thought there would be more like female dogs. What? Oh, Alex Diner. Come on. Don't be ridiculous.

I'm not. Here is a one-star review. Speaking of in the dog house. Uh-oh. One star. Sorry, cat house. Got the cat in me by association in trouble. My wife is a puzzle.

But she also loves doing puzzles. And so she found one under the holiday tree. The cat got her one as a present. Aw. I don't understand the puzzle world nor puzzle etiquette. But I learned the other day that puzzle people hate few things more. than when a brand new puzzle is missing a piece. You had to learn that.

That wasn't just like intuitive. Like, oh, if you're working on something and one final screw is missing. Then you just move on with life. This person's like, well, my shelf's going to fall apart. That's okay. As the rest of us. Yeah. And no way it was her losing it.

Though she did kind of lose it for the frustration factor. Oh, did I mention she is also an attorney, the county prosecutor? Try arguing your way out of a situation with her. even when you win, you don't win. Luckily, the box was addressed from the cat and the cat can do no wrong. That's such a cheap scape move. Oh, you don't like this one. Oh, sorry, looked at the wrapping section from Juniper.

Probably did it after the fact, right? And you know Juniper, just terrible. It famously bad. Still, it was disappointing to say the least. I love my wife. Not so much with the puzzle manufacturer. End of review. Wow.

Yeah. Not being nervous. Like, I feel like this is. Oh, I've read so many where they were missing a piece. These were the only two that I felt, or two of the ones that I felt were, like, worth bringing. But so many people have that happen. We have no way of knowing. What's your gut instinct that all of the, what percentage do you think are actually missing from the box versus, like, it fell under a rug?

Below 50% are actually missing. Like, I think more likely than not the person, it's user error. Because I feel like that's usually what it is. Like, most things. To lose a tiny little cardboard piece. Yeah. Like, we read so many reviews. and I feel like more often,

there's so many examples of people who think one way and then we get the owner response or something and it's like, what? They weren't even close with the truth. They'll be like, you said that your piece of the puzzle burned up in the heater

after you dropped it now. Yeah, they'll have like receipts and everything. And meanwhile, I'm not saying these people are lying that they lost a piece and probably really think that they didn't come with it. And maybe it didn't. But I think a bunch of people think that.

But it's missing. When I moved, I found multiple puzzle pieces from a puzzle. I had been working on a year earlier or something. Wow. Yeah. So anyway, but that's me. I'm not. Is it a puzzle of Bavaria?

Because I'm about to have a panic attack if that's what I got. Yeah, I've got some extra pieces if you need it. What did they say under the holiday tree? The holiday tree from the cat. Okay, so Alexinner. Yeah. The next one I have is of Springbok. It's Showtime, 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.

The fuck is that? Is that a bunch of movies? It's Broadway place. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I saw that. It's Broadway place. I'm not sorry. This is from Donica, and I have a one-star view by Elizabeth.

It's a bunch of posters of Broadway performances. Title is cut out with a dull butter knife? Oh, no. Many pieces are not cut through. The rest of the pieces are so fuzzy around the edges, they don't lay flat when put together. Fabric softener. That's what that'll do it.

Oh, you think that's what caused it or that's what'll fix it? Both. Oh, shit. They don't lay flat one put together. I can only assume pieces we're missing due to poor quality of both puzzle and box, but we couldn't put it together, so I don't know. My toddler can make a better puzzle with nothing but her teeth in a cardboard box. End of review.

I like that. That's good. Which like, I don't doubt that. That's so good. That is the one thing I fully believe with all my heart. That's funny. Yeah. I'd love to see that.

But that's infuriating if a puzzle is not like a nice, like clean puzzle. Oh, yeah. Like, you don't want them to be all mushy. No, that's the worst. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Have we talked about hungry root before? Only all the time.

All the time. I'm just kidding. It is one of our favorite things because of the crazy amount of snacks and food that they send. And it's all catered to us. Yeah, it's not just like meals. It's like they know that I'll forget to eat breakfast. So they'll send bagels and I'll be like, oh, shoot, I didn't eat. Oh, Hungry Root sent it. It's like they know. And they kind of do. They make like a custom

cart for you, shopping cart. It gets delivered to your house. Yeah. It's a dream. You know, girl dinner? Well, there's a such thing as Zandi dinner. And it's whatever snacks Hungry Root sent me. Yeah, that's actually way better than what I would have imagined Zandi dinner is. Yeah. Normally it's nothing good. It's gotten an upgrade. And maybe most importantly, Hungry Root holds all its food to really high standard screening out over 200 additives, including high-for-grossed corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, and preservatives. They have a lot of vegan options for Zandi, Oatle, Ithaca Hummus, etc. You're going to love HungryRoot as much as we do.

For a limited time, get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungarroot.com slash Beach2 Sandy and use code Beach2 Sandy. That's HungryRoot.com slash Beach2 Sandy. Code Beach2 Sandy to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. It's a new year. It's time to take a look at our habits and what we're kind of doing, our health, our well-being, taking care of ourselves. And naturally, we look around and see what we can do, but choosing the right supplements can be incredibly confusing. I've been there. There's so

many brands, but the supplement industry itself is also a low trust category. It's hard to see what's regulated. If anything, products are easy to make. A lot of times they don't even have to list things on the labels. And that's why we're so excited to partner with Momentus. They've become the high trust brand in a low trust category. We went on a trip recently, and I brought some of those 100% plant protein travel packs. Oh, smart. And they're so great because they're easy to travel with. And all you have to do is just pour them in your water, mix it up, and you got your protein

right there. Yeah, Momentus wasn't satisfied with the industry standard. So they built the momentous standard. Their commitment to doing things the right way, not the easy way. And it tastes really good. I really, really like that. Well, that's kind of our concern. Yes.

That's our main concern. It's my issue with things. And this one. Rigorous testing we do on that. Yes, of course. We have a standard as well, Momentus, okay? Right now, Momentus is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code Beach. Head to livemometus.com and use promo code Beach for up to 35% off your first order.

That's livemometest.com promo code Beach. My last one is of the $2 million puzzle. It says 500 piece jigsaw puzzle for adults. Don't get excited because last day to redeem was February 28th to 2024. No. Everyone is a Miller. Miller. What?

You have to be a miller to compete. Everyone is a winner from $1 to $1 million. And basically the concept is... I'm already mad about this. You make a puzzle, and the puzzle is a QR code. Oh, for God. And the QR code reveals whether you want a dollar or something else. And everyone who bought a puzzle won at least $1.

I don't know about this. No, it's ridiculous. Doesn't say how much it was. That's my other question. Because they no longer sell it. Okay. Because it's over. It's all over.

It's all over. Who won the $2 million? Let me guess. Someone was like, someone said that they assume no one won. Maybe that was in this review. I'm about to read. I forget. Two million dollar puzzle?

One piece right up the middle. Yeah, true. Sorry, you got it. Smart, honestly. Smart. Well, good thing. QR codes have a backup QR code within the QR code. They do.

That's what Tim told me. Okay. Well, Tim also keeps puzzles that are missing a lot of pieces. So I don't necessarily know I chose that advice When I'm puzzling, you know. Yeah. Okay, here is my last review. It's a doozy.

Here we go. One star. If you value your marriage or relationships, do not buy this. I bought this puzzle as a birthday gift for my husband because it seems like a great deal. The chances of winning a million dollars are substantially better than any lottery.

Now I love a good puzzle, and with my ADD brain and hyperfocus, I can usually put a 500-piece puzzle together in an afternoon. I've done really challenging ones in the past, and loved them. Even one that my daughter a bit took pieces out of a cardboard box

with her own two teeth. Yeah, that one was actually her own two teeth. Her own two teeth. Maybe, actually. My daughter is a woodchuck. Do they have two teeth? I don't know.

They have two important ones. This puzzle isn't challenging. It is the seventh level of hell. I should have known when we sorted the pieces and they all had the same color. I should have known when we tried to put the frame together

and ended up with a straight line. I should have chucked it in the bin when I realized the cut was exactly the same for the pieces and there are pretty much only four shapes in the entire thing. To say that every piece fits together is an understatement. Not only do the shapes match and fit, but the colors are so similar that it makes it nearly impossible. Well, that's the trick.

They're like, you can't see it. They're like, we're going to frustrate the hell out of you. And every QR code goes to a dollar unless you put it like a really specific way. I walked away the first night feeling like it was going to be. be hard and a challenge, but that I could do it. The second night, when I still didn't have the frame together, I was less sure. My family started out helping me, but one by one, they dropped off like flies. By the third day, I was frustrated.

My family started avoiding me, the dishes went undone, dinner wasn't made. I'm pretty sure my husband was contemplating divorce or homicide. Whoa! I came home from work and worked on the damn puzzle till I couldn't keep my eyes open. Imagine that 2020 episode, though, for the missing piece. You know they call it. Oh, wait, I just realized that was the name of my stream. Really?

The missing piece. That's good. Thank you. I thought you were joking. No. Well, I said it and went, that's familiar. Oh, yeah. I branded that already.

Oh, yeah, TM. Yo, is that what that patent was for? Yes. Also, it's also a Shell Silverstein nod to that lovely book he wrote. Where the sidewalk ends. That's the one. No, the missing piece. Oh, I don't know what that is.

You don't? No. I don't have memories. I came home from work and worked on the damn puzzle till I couldn't keep my eyes open. This continued for two weeks. Any sane person would have given up by day six. I would have given up by day one. Yeah, I'm just saying.

Any insane person would have started this to begin with, frankly. But I put so much time and effort in, I couldn't give up. What if it was the one that won a million? I scoured the internet for a photo of the completed puzzle. I read countless Reddit posts. I obsessed over the stupid thing. Oh, wait, no. That's me. I wouldn't give up the person. I'd become that. That's true. I'd become that hyper-fixated

person. It depends on the day. Yeah. If you're a manic or not. Exactly. I know. I have a problem, but still, this thing couldn't be worse. I finally made a breakthrough just putting the middle bits together first and built out from there. After an absolute nightmare of more than two weeks, I sort of finished it. It was missing a piece directly in the middle, and there were at least five piece is not in the right spots, but their correct locations were indeterminable. But imagine if you're just like, please work and the QR code every time is like, sorry, and you got to take it apart all over again? Like, this is maddening.

Yeah. However, if you read the instructions, they tell you not to worry about a few missing pieces because the QR code will still work. Also a red flag as to the quality, but I digress. Yeah, if you have to say, hey, your puzzle might be missing a few pieces. Yeah, no, I think what they're saying is don't worry if you miss a few pieces. I see. Like if you have a few left over, it should still work.

So it's saying QR codes have a backup. But it is a good way to cover your own ass. Yeah. Lo and behold. I mean, you're bareback. Sorry. Oh, don't say bareback. And don't touch my shoulder and say, you're bareback.

But we're on this nice love seat. I can reach you so well. Don't touch me. Okay. Lo and behold, the QR code actually worked. We typed in the redemption code and $1. To say I was defeated, despondent, and extremely depressed would be putting it mildly. wildly. I mean, what? Okay, I'm sorry, but at that point, you have to temper, like, you have to

bring your expectations to the basement. That's very hard after over two weeks, because you're like, maybe this will all be worth it. But you know it's not. But you want to know it's not. But, like, you know it's not. So, like, you can have that little bit of like, I mean, if it is, it'll be so crazy, amazing. But, like, you should probably go into it. Not, like, with your hopes high enough that you feel crushed. Yeah. Well, but you're right. Same with like a lottery ticket. I know. It's like an impossible situation, especially if you've devoted so much. And I'm that same way where, like, once I've committed, I'm like, well, I got to finish it now. Actually, no, I'm not. I never finish anything. Oh, I don't, well, it depends. It depends. Yeah. If I'm like playing a video game, I have to finish.

If I'm gambling on a million dollars, I have to. We have to get to zero. If it's my laundry, I don't have to. No, no, no, no. If it's something important, certainly I'm not going to finish it. Yeah, no. If it's this podcast episode remains to be seen. TBD. But that's not all. When trying to actually claim your prize, they only ask for a phone number and email. No address, no name. Fishing, right?

I never got an email or text with my winnings or at all. And don't try to type in the code again because it said it's already been redeemed. So it looks like I'm not even going to get the dollar that I slave two weeks for. I was going to frame it. This seriously seems like a scam. They don't list winners anywhere. No one knows if they actually give away a million dollars. Perhaps it's time for the people to revolt.

I see a class action lawsuit in their future. And I think we victims would win punitive damage is for emotional distress. End of review. Wow. I think you wouldn't. Well, you wouldn't because the thing I wanted to reveal is apparently inside the box is a small QR code that has the results. I was going to say. Same with the lottery ticket.

You can just like scratch the barcode and scan it. Same thing here where you can scan it tells you immediately if you want. There's no way. I didn't have that. Okay, well, don't tell them that. I didn't. Well, no one did. Someone should.

They should have read a review or two. It said they were on Reddit. Yeah, someone must have said something. But they might have been like, I have to do this. No, but then you would have known it's just a dollar. Oh, you're saying they didn't want it. Then that's on you. I'm sorry.

No, I agree with that. That's what I'm saying is they don't have any. They shouldn't be complaining. Okay, first of all, I heard like, oh, we're going to rebel. And then I was like, oh, yeah, a bunch of puzzlers. they're going to be the ones resisting. And then I heard class action lawsuit. Yeah, they're not getting their crochet hooks, so they don't have weapons.

True. But I heard class action lawsuit and I went, oh yeah, okay, I can see a bunch of puzzlers revolting that way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll read about it, the New Yorker. That's right. But careful, the covers can get. Yeah, I close my eyes when I look at the cover.

Any cartoon that comes up when I'm reading, I close my eyes. You don't want like a blow, someone blow smoke right in your face. Depends. True. Actually. I'm all done. I'm all done. Oh.

Oh, we are leaving. done early. Bye. Bye. No, you've got your stupid challenge. I'm really. Really? Yeah, because my name means. What does your name mean?

Do you know? Because I just looked it up. I've heard lots of bullshit. Something about it because it's Alexander the Great. Some like later. Yeah, I mean, it means like, um, awesome. Sort of. Brave, majestic, beautiful, incredible.

Like, kind of. Sorry, those are just my therapist notes from today. Yeah. I would, I would question her diagnosis, just, Which one? Let's start with that. Okay. Alexander means...

Don't laugh. That's not good. What does your mean? You walk with Christ or some bullshit? Yours is defender of man. That's true. Or protector of mankind. That's true.

Women? Uh-uh. Men, I got you. Bro, I got you. Bro. I'm a bro's bro. Bro. Look, I'm a man's man.

What can I say? Oxinger, we do always say that about you. Yeah. And that's why mom name. you that. She said, my first child, my daughter, Christine, is a follower of Christ. And that's what is so important to us is that. She installed like a urinal in my bathroom when I was little. She was like, no son of mine is going to sit down and pee. You can poop, but you can't pee when you're sitting. You're a man's man. A whole trough. Christine can be suited to a little girl of any

religion or background, thanks. Oh, few. I was worried about the laws there. Can you imagine follower of Christ? That's wild to me. Don't worry. You don't actually have to follow Christ. I thought I did. I was confused. Oh, yeah. No, I'm sure you were. It's a child. You were confused. We both were. Okay, here's a review. This is from Suzanne Sheher. This challenge, by the way, is to find reviews where people talk about what their name means. Yeah, that's why we're talking about what our names mean. Sorry to clarify. Leona's means Lioness. Lion's. Great League of Legends character, too.

Oh, yeah, right. You did tell me that. Yeah, she was my main back in the day. I know St. Blaze is the one who took a fish bone out of someone's throat. Like, on purpose or, like, stealing it? Out of a fish's throat. I don't know. Just that one. Give me your bone.

No, it's, uh... So he stabbed someone in the throat. Oh, wait, it's even wilder. He's a patron saint of throats because I'm not even making... The throat go! Guess what the name means. Lisping or stuttering. Oh.

Because he's like the patron saint of throat speaking and choking. I hate. Beach 2 Sandy, Water 2, Tuette is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians, these are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way.

Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. not available in all states or situations. We are really excited. We sponsored by tachiatry. If you've been stuck on a six-month wait list for psychiatrists, you don't know where to look. You've been bouncing around between online mental health sites, trying to find medication support.

Psychiatry was built for you. It is virtual psychiatry that actually fits your life and your insurance. We know how hard it is to find a new psychiatrist, trust us, and especially one that you can trust. And especially ones that take your insurance. I think that one is... It feels almost impossible. I know. I'm so glad psychiatry exists.

It's a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. I currently have several of those. I've been diagnosed with every single one of those. I'm not even kidding. And honestly, several years ago, if I had known about talk chiatry, if I had access to it, I think my life would have been a lot easier.

100%. Yeah. And if I ever need to find it. a new provider, I think that is where I'm going to go first. It looks like they know what they're doing. Especially with psychiatry, because I've seen this for therapy, but it's nice to have this option for psychiatry. Head to talkhytery.com slash beach and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's tachiatry.com slash beach to get matched in minutes.

All right. So this first one I have is from Hansbeer. No. From Kempton, Germany. Oh, no. It's a one-star review. My name was almost What did you?

Sorry, that's why I'm reacting negatively. My dad wanted to name me Hans Vanna Or in American terms Hans Werner Has one name Anyway, thank God he didn't Mom said He got a man's man instead

That's right mom said I will not have it Nope, that is not an alpha male name Sorry. Sorry. Here we go, though you might reconsider, because this is the first line of Hans's review of the Sheraton Hotel. Oh. It is a one-star view called No Respect for Repeaters. What?

What if it were repeaters, like Peter? Did you know Peter was going to be my name if I was a boy? True. But it was going to be Peter Maria. If I were Peter Maria hyphenated, and you were Hans. I actually would have killed myself by 30. I thought I was. I made it. We would have had a pact or something.

There's no way that that would have flown. We would have gotten beaten into the ground. Okay, no respect for Peters. I'm a businessman in Costa Rica. Do businessmen actually do that? This is what Dad wanted for you. Calling myself a businessman? Yeah, well, think about it.

That's such a generic. Oh, the businessman's breakfast. Busy businessman's breakfast. He did spell business wrong. Oh my gosh. And who calls it? calls themselves a business? What does that mean? A buzeman. I'm a businessman in Costa Rica and I book fast every week, the Sheraton Hotel, sometimes alone and other times with my wife and the kids.

I also brought many times business partners to overnight in this beautiful hotel. That feels like sexual. Yeah. I brought many business partners. Oh no, don't worry, honey. I'm just overniting with some of my... You and the kids stay home. What the heck? I shared my opinion on TripAdvisor about Sheraton three times. very negative about the casino service. The second one was very positive because I noticed the improvement of the services, as in the opening of the hotel was no good service at all. Now, the front desk is good, but today they were like a two-star hotel service, although they

called me with my name, showing me that knowing my name means a good... Oh, I just realized something. This isn't what you thought it was, like meant what it means something else that you thought? Yes. I do this all the time. I know. So I thought he was saying his name means. They're saying the fact that they know

The name It's a good welcome Yes, okay Oops showing me that knowing my name means a sign of a good welcome I totally agree with that The front desk took already a deposit from

Wait, you can't agree with that You said it, whatever He's like this is a good I agree with myself The front desk took already a deposit from my wife because she checked in before me When I checked in they asked me also to put more money for a deposit for mini bar or extra.

I don't know what. Of course I did. Arriving in my room and happy to see my wife and the kids after a long business travel. The phone was ringing. The front desk told me, sorry to disturb, but we forgot to take more deposit money from me. What? Sorry to disturb money, please. It's like what, three different things?

What name Hans means sucker? So they're like, we got it. Isn't that who sent in the review? Was that not the name of the person? Hans? Yeah. No, that's the reviewer in Kempton, Germany. Sorry, I thought someone sent.

No, sorry. Oh, ho. This is a German businessman. That explains a lot with the sentence that says, they took already a deposit from my wife. Like, that's the German sense. See, I'm listening, and I'm like, this sounds so normal. And then I'm like, because it sounds like my parents talking.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. They asked me also to put more money for a deposit for mini bar use or extra. I don't know what. The phone was ringing. The front desk told me, sorry to disturb, but we forgot to take more deposit because you are staying two nights. I just answer, I will pass by when I finish to take my shower. When I am in Sheraton, I always have a dinner in the lobby ivory bar.

Tonight the service was not bad, but ridiculous. We waited more than an hour just for the salads and the wine. I understood the hotel areas were booked for different extra outsides parties, but the management forgot totally about the customers sleeping in Sheraton. My advice to the general manager is to take good care about the customers sleeping in your hotel More attention to your repeaters because we love your hotel, but we like to be treated in a correct way. I personally, I do not anything for free, but just respect. Let me tell you some more details.

Okay, because what's wrong? I feel like I just like missed something. Well, the review's almost over, so you're not going to get that much. All right. Let me tell you some more details. In the parking lot, they told me that the gate was broken. But when I insist that I have a room, they open the gate. This means lies and wrong information, too.

You're probably just really persistent. in. They were like, whatever. Two, in my room, I found a letter with a name that was not mine. We've, I've had that. I've had that for sure. With a courtesy. That means your front desk gave me the wrong room, which somebody else should be there. Well, I think sometimes they just put the wrong name in, whatever.

Tomorrow I've invited a good friend from Greece to spend the night in Sheraton with me. See, it's... So this person's writing this while there? Yeah. Okay. I will continue to come to this Sherton because I hate the traffic in San Jose, but I would like to have a minimum satisfaction from what I am paying. If you wish to talk to me, I am the customer of the room 420. No way. Booked from 2nd December 2016.

Ah, we just missed it. Damn it. A good compliment to the waiter who served us. Thank you for your understanding. End of review. Wow. Nine years ago. So his name doesn't mean good welcome. His name means sucker for all sort of scams. Yeah, for all this shit going to the same place over and over again despite the triple deposit every single time. And Sheraton means scam artists. Oh. More like share a ton. Share a ton of your money. Right.

It's right. All right. So this next one I have. I only have three. I don't care. I'm sorry. I really struggled with this one. Clearly.

I'm having fun. This next one is. I mean, you, okay. Three including that first one? Yeah. And that doesn't count. Oh, no. It was just a review.

Well, we talked about what our names mean. And I give my name a one out of five. We talk about blazes. So that's a negative, though. True. Yeah. So got to catch up. This is a five-star view, actually, of Crown Plaza, Jordan, Dead Sea Resort and Spa.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I've been there. The Dead Sea. Why did you say it like you were, like, reminiscing? That was so weird. Thanks. Acting. Good service, nice atmosphere, great team.

Amazing. Front desk agent. Luckily, we stayed at Crown Plaza. Your hotel was our second choice. First of all, that's great. Wow. It's called negging. Yeah, apparently Brig tea is good at that.

Right, ladies? Your hotel was our second choice to stay at. To enjoy our summer vacation and we're lucky that we chose you guys, starting from the security officer to the front desk gate to the restaurant team, especially the breakfast team to the nice facilities. Let me please talk about that awesome guy from front desk team, Aiyadh. He was like an angel to us. He was like, I'll do all my best to make your stay like magical stay.

And guess what? He made it. The most funny part when we asked about his name, what does it mean? He answer means coming back. We said, of course we are coming back. He said also, my name means coming back. So I'm waiting for you to come back.

We gave. What? I don't know. It wasn't confusing. Then it got very confusing. We asked about his name. What does it mean? He answer means coming back.

We said, of course we are coming back. He said, oh, I see. So, like, they didn't know he was answering the question. Oh, okay. And they were like, oh, yeah, we're coming back. Like, not realizing that the person. person was saying that was, okay. Correct. We said, of course we were coming back. He said, also my name means coming back.

That's funny. So I'm waiting for you to come back. We gave you a promise pal. Soon we're coming back. Crown, guess what? Now you're our first choice, guys, only because of this person. I had. Yeah. Good job. Crown Plaza team. End of review. I hope they actually came back. I'm one of those people where if I say I'm coming back and don't. I get really in my head about it. Really? Sometimes. It depends, like, if it's the same day, like if I'm like, oh, I'll come back. Like at a market or something.

I don't like. I don't like to do that. And I've done that like when I do that, I mean it usually. Yeah. But then if I don't. Best intentions. It's like it haunts me for the rest of my life because I know that person's still waiting for me. I know. They're all just waiting out there for me.

All right, ladies. Right. All right. This is my last one and this one's a little bit of like a plot twist. Okay. Wow. Well, not anymore. Not anymore.

Not anymore. Kate says five stars January 14th, 2022. Hi, my name is Makana, a good-looking golden retriever. Uh-uh. Not a pet talk. Oh, that's a golden retriever. My name means gift in Hawaiian. I write to you to share my experiences with Animal Health Center of Salisbury.

As a new puppy, I have had several visits for shots and was neutered too. I had excellent care from the owners and staff. They even helped my mom with insurance plans. If you are looking for great experiences for my fellow four-legged friends, you have my paws up. Uh-uh. But then like the picture. The dirty things down.

The picture has a dog like looking so sad with a giant cone on its head and like a cage behind. Like it, I mean, I'm sure it's healthy and well-taking care of it. It just doesn't look particularly happy. The tone of the review combined with the picture does not make sense. It does not match. Hey, I'm really happy to paws up. Here's a picture of me being really sad looking. Yeah.

Yeah. What a cutie, but no. What a sad cutie. That's what they called me. But I love it. that they're like, here's what my name means. That's cute. I think so.

That's cute. I just wish the dog weren't talking. I'm fine with it. That's all I've got. I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. Sorry, I'm low on reviews today. I think, I don't think we are too low.

I felt good. We could talk about what my pet's name means like moonshine. Yeah? What does it mean? It means best sweet old kitty. Oh, that's what that means. He's so sweet. He does drown things.

So it was punky. over our mom's house. That name fits a little better. Yeah, Punky is a punk. She's so annoying. I love her. Oh, boy. Okay, boys.

Actually, I think it means sinus infection, because Mooney does have... He's constantly making weird noises. Remember when the first picture, one of the first pictures I have of him is him standing next to a humidifier. And his eyes are just like running. And he's this tiny kitten.

And there's just like steam. And we had to put him in there and just give him like eucalyptus. So you installed that mini. sauna, right? That's right, yes. It's not many anymore. No? We've expanded. Oh, good. Yeah. So, Gio fits in there now? Yeah, he actually works there. Smart.

Someone's got to add coals. He walks them in. He shovels coals, coal into the furnace. Okay. That's why Giovanni means worker. Worker B. Bye. See you.

Beach Sioux Sandy Water Too Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Schiefer. edited and mixed by Sarah Borges Wendell of VW Sound.