Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 375: Reviews of Benihana with Byron Marin and Ryan Bergara

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach, D Sandy Water Too, Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sister host, Christine. I'm Zandi, the brother host. And we have more siblings. Today we've added two siblings to the against their, they have not consented to this.

No, they're just finding out that they are our siblings for this episode. Yeah, welcome to the family. Byron. Byron and Ryan. Yeah, that's right. That is kind of confusing. Byron and Ryan. Yeah, it's tough.

Say that 10 times fast. Why didn't I just say introduce yourselves? That would have been a really smart. Well, I need to know what my new name is. If I'm a sibling officially now, what's my new last name? Oh, true. It's Shiefer. I'm sorry.

Actually, we've been trying to change it recently. Why? We don't. I have. I think we're Bob Schiefer, the news that no one knows about it. I don't know him. Because we share her last name. I don't know.

Bob Sheeper, is that like a... But it's with two Fs, not one. Oh, I see. I see. A little different. One time there was this glitch in the Matrix that happened where we went to a church. And there was this family. And they said like, oh, Christine and Alexander.

And her dad was like, and it turns out they had the same last name as us. What? Who were these people? I don't remember any of this. Maybe it was a dream. Anyway, we are so happy to have to have you. in our lives. Welcome.

Can you tell us a little bit about your show for your amusement, your proper names? Yeah. Butcher them again, et cetera. You want to go first, Byron, on the introduction here? Sure, yeah. My name is Byron Marin, and then I guess... Oh, that's my turn. I'm Ryan Bergara.

We both host For Your Amusement. It's a theme park podcast where we exhaustively evaluate the world's most popular theme park attractions. To determine if they're world class, according to us, by a rubric that we've made. Yeah. That's extremely unofficial. I was looking, and then you have... I'm not trying to promo your fourth wall page, but I was looking at it today.

And I was like, oh, they re-litigate their episodes on their. I was like, this is genius. And you have a jury winning in. It's very official. Sounds very official. Very serious. We got powdered wigs on. I'm not kidding.

We got judge robes that we bought online. I think it was like costumes.com or something like that. Remarkable. Yeah. Oh, we've read reviews up there. Yeah. I'm sure you have. I'm sure you have some doozies in there.

Yeah. Well, I don't think we've even said what we're doing today. We actually heard that you have an experience at a Benny Hahn Yeah. Is that what we're talking about today? And today we've done it before, but it was a while ago, reviews of Benny Hana. So that's our topic. You get to listen to the reviews of Benny Hana.

We don't know what happened. And if this is like a tread carefully topic too late, we already marched in on it. Why did you get kicked out of a Benny Hana? We didn't get kicked out. I wish we were kicked out on us. I wish we would have been kicked out of your own one-star review. I feel like I have more leading questions to ask. Like, what did you do wrong?

Well, the crazy thing about it, and why it's pertinent to this show is our experience was we went on Google reviews after. Not because I never write reviews. Right. No disrespect. No, no. No, that's okay. You can disrespect.

I'm just saying I could never wrap my head around taking the time to pull up my laptop and then type up a little review. Trust me. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of it. We've been writing to research this from like. And the fact now it's even more, I think this is the people are generating AI reviews and posting it. And then it's like, then what's even the point? Point.

Like, you're not even spending the time. You're having the AI pretend to say something in your voice about your experience that the AI wasn't party to. Anyway, and it's just nonsense. It's nonsense. Do you ever think about how funny their face must look when they're typing them, how angry it is and twisted? In fact, always. Like, be red. Exactly, yeah.

That's funny. They're on the verge of, on the brink of like a existential crisis for sure. We can read it. Yeah. But anyways, we looked on Google reviews to see like, okay, maybe we just had a bad night. We were processing the next morning. I was in bed. I wonder if it was just like a fluky situation or if like other people and like management's just been taking it on the chin.

It turns out like I'd find like reviews like three weeks ahead of time that were like no drug exactly our experience. Oh my gosh. This is the kind of seedy underbelly we're looking for on this podcast. I got to find that review. No, it's crazy. It was like I read a review. I had to send it to like everyone that went with us. It was a group of five.

It looked like someone in our group had written the review. It was so accurate to our experience. And then at the bottom of the review, they had a photo of the chef, and it was the same exact. Don't da. No, he said the review. Which, by the way, was not his fault.

He was there in the trenches. He was real with us basically like, look, you guys really understaffed. He's like, yeah. What was happening? Well, were there over three hours? Yeah, okay. That seems to be a lot of reviews like that.

A recurring theme. It was pretty rough. Which, Benny Harmon. This is the Newport Beach. I'm so glad you asked. Oh, God. Thank you. Like, in the back of my head,

I've never wanted to be that person like, I'm going to sink you guys. I still feel bad about it. But this is like the first time I'm like, oh, man, I just didn't know we'd have this opportunity this quick. It feels like the universe was just like. The universe is working for all of us. So, so true. And he's right. Like, he sent that review to our group of five.

I read it in bed in the morning and I read it. And I was like, oh, Brian Wright's reviews. That's hilarious. And I thought he was sending me the review he wrote because it was exactly our experience. It was crazy. And then he was like, can you believe that? And I was like, what do you believe that? You believe that you wrote it.

And then. Can you believe? I mean, yeah, because you were like, look at this other review. Oh, my God. And the picture was our guy. That's crazy. And obviously, I was wearing the same outfit. They don't have like, you know, their Monday outfit and their Tuesday outfit.

And then it says three weeks ago or whatever. And it was not you guys. No, that's, there was a little confusion there. Yeah. Basically what happened. I think it's okay that we revealed this, right? I don't mind. It's the new, like, once again, it's the new poor beach.

The address is. Which camera do I look at? Look, manager names. As of this was during the holidays of 2025. So maybe it's a well-willed machine by now. And, yeah, the chef was hats off to that, man. Maybe they read that review and said, we got to change a few things. You see a chef, like, show up to your, like, your table after, like, an elongated period of time.

You could tell they're kind of, like, shit in a brick. Yeah, it's going to feel bad. He was, like, he basically came in, like, I'm sorry, it's not me. Oh. It was rough. We checked in. I think our reservation was at seven, I want to say. They didn't seat us until 7.30.

That's fine. Whatever. We went over to the Benihana bar. We watched the little sports TV. It was fine. Part of the experience. You give the baby a bottle, which is me. You gave me a little beer.

And I'm going to be there sucking up the tea. Yeah, they gave me the iPad. And then we finally get sat. I'm like, oh, glad that's over. It's time to eat Benihana, which is a very exciting thing. My wife and I, we actually love Benihana. And you're like hungry, right? You're like, I'm here to be hungry.

No, and we unironically, well, started ironically, but now we truly do. But now we truly do go there to celebrate any sort of achievement of any scale. We did that with Rainforest Cafe. Oh, perfect. You know, it's kind of like good example. You say that as if we used to do that. We've never been to a rainforest cafe. In my mind, I go to Rainforest Cafe unironically because I love it somewhere.

You go to IHop and have terrible experiences. Oh, do you also? She went for her birthday and got. For your birthday. Yeah, they bullied me. Yeah. Because of your birthday. I wasn't alone.

My ex-boyfriend was scared. Oh, I forget about that. That's even worse. It was extremely much. Have you ever been to an Ihop alone at night? Have you? I feel like that's something you would do. I went once and there was a guy who was dressed for Halloween.

This was after a Taylor Swift concert in like 2012. And we were driving back to Cincinnati and we stopped. And it wasn't even that close to Halloween. But there was like a whole group dressed in Halloween outfits. Yeah. And this guy had a shirt and all this like makeup on. And his shirt just said, burned victim. Burned victim.

It didn't even, it didn't say burn victim. It burned victim like a white shirt and just. like written on and like Sharpie. He has like, like, makeup on. Anyway, that was my favorite IHOP experience. I think they're like liminal spaces, some of these restaurants. Like, they kind of were portals. Anyway, sorry, go on.

What was he eating? I don't know. Was it hot? Probably. Holy shit. Probably, that's probably how it happened. He probably walked in normal. By the end.

They're like, we got a Sharpie the burn victim on this guy. No food. It was just a single glass of milk. Oh, he just got him. This poor guy. Or like that guy in MIB who orders water and sugar at the very beginning of the food, sugar, water, more. And then he pulls the skin off his face. Anyways, back to Benny Hana.

So we were very excited. We've been looking forward to this. We had another couple with us, my wife and I, and then Byron was fifth wheeling. That thing I do. The dynamics are important. This is like I feel sort of like we just brought them into like reveal the behind the scenes of a review. Like sometimes we'll read a review and we'll go, but we want to know like who was sitting where. We want to know.

This is great. Because the chef was a chef involved? We don't leave our homes enough to like have our own experiences like this. Right. I want to hear more about like details here. What's great about Benihana is that unlike other dining experiences that you may or may not have where something goes wrong, you only have your group of people with you. Right. Your echo chamber.

However, at Benihana, it's a mandatory eight-seater. Right. So we had a group of five. There was a group of three people who we did not know. And so having the real-time context of seeing how this experience. is landing on another group of three. Yeah. Was it very important to us?

Was it like validating? It was super validating, but it was also in a weird way bad because it allowed it to happen. Oh, okay. So we got sat at 7.30, our reservations at 7. I sooner five. We don't see a waiter come over to us for about 45 minutes. Not water, nothing. That's bad.

And the reason why we didn't notice is because we just had some drinks at the bar. We were chatting. We were actually chatting with the other three people. We're having a great time. And then finally someone was like, hey, it's weird that we haven't seen a in 45 minutes and someone was like, it hasn't been 45 minutes, has it? And we looked at our watch. We're like, oh, my God.

Takes one person to bring it up, like the damn breaks open from there. And everyone's like, say it a second. Almost as if they were listening, they did come right after that. So they came over, gave us our waters, took our order, and we're like, great. We're off to the races. Glad that's in the rear view. And then another 45 minutes passes before we see another person. And we're now, what, if we're doing some quick math now, that's what an hour and a half?

Was this place, like, packed? No. Oh. It was not. It was packed in the waiting area. Interesting. Oh, no. I didn't have enough people.

And I will also add that we could look across at the table that was, like, facing us. And so, like, we're watching them, like, start the show. And we kind of, like, you start reading body language. They start kind of looking over, like, we're going to do our whole thing, and then they're going to come and take care of you. So we essentially watch them do their entire dinner. That's cool. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

All the onion volcanoes. that weren't for you? Exactly. You got to see them from a farm. That's devastating. But also, like, if you know Benny Hana, you'll know that these tables are butted up against each other with a little alley between the two tables.

So conceivably, maybe two chefs could sit, like stand there and do their thing and, you know, rub cheeks together or whatever. Like, because, like, they're facing each grill respectively. But we watched that show. We thought there's no way that they're not coming soon, at least when this guy's done, they're going to come. No. Another 30 minutes passes.

And by this point, it's now been two hours. and somebody in our group, it might have been my wife, but somebody was just like, hey, I think it's a little insane we've been sitting here for two hours now. And then the damn broken. Everybody, the strangers were like, yes, okay, we thought you guys were being nice about it, so we're going to be nice about it.

We were like, we thought you guys are being nice about it. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, but we can all admit like, hey, this is insane because I'm allergic to complaining at a restaurant. Totally. Like if my food is bad, I'll just eat it. That's how we became. I've never sent something back in my life.

No, I'd be terrified that they're going to spit in it. But when someone does it, I'm like, yeah, good for you. Like, if it's something that, but I'm like, no, but I would never. Oh, yeah, you could have self-respect. I forgot about that. I have none, though. So, like, it was nice that somebody said something. Yeah, makes sense.

And then we complained. And then the manager came over and he was like, all right, guys, I don't know what's going on. But here's a bunch of little, like, he gave us these cards that were like $30 off or something. Well, he initially said that we were going to get our entire table discounted. And then he eventually, like, 30 minutes later, he was like, oh, here it is. and they were like these $25 coupons. I wish I brought it into the room. Oh, I wish I had mine.

But I do. I still have it. But it was basically, it's a $25 coupon that you can only use per table. So you can't like just have it. Oh, my gosh. We can't use it toward the meal. You've got to go back five times. It couldn't be used for the specific time.

And it wasn't invalid until the next year from January to March, essentially saying, hey, sorry you had an awful experience this time. But please, like, come back. Come back. Come and give us more money. And we'll take, you know, $25 off your multi-hundred-dollar. That's really bad. This place isn't cheap.

That's the other thing. Yeah, no, it's true. It's expensive. He might have been a good actor, though, because when he came over, I was like, oh, this is, do you usually give these out? He's like, no, this is just a pile. I just, I figure this is what we have them for. They're all, like, in pencil.

And in my mind I, like, aren't you the manager? Didn't you know? Yeah, very good thing. I don't want to hear that from you. Like, oh, this is a pile. Maybe I'll just give them this pile. Mind you, this is not two hours and 15 minutes in. We had not seen our chef yet.

That's wild. And he rolls up and he has this look on his face where he's like, I know. It's not my fault. He straight have told us, look, we're understaffed. They always do this. I don't know. Nightmare. You think they would just take less bookings on whatever you reserved it through, like,

Yelp or something. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. The manager should manage them. It's really funny to see the next table, though. Enter as, like, they're just starting to cook your meal. And we were, like, looking over there like, oh, you're going to be here for a little while, like the next victims right there. Watch them sit for an hour without a waiter coming over.

We got to see them do all the same stuff that we were doing for the first hour or so. The hope slowly leaves their eyes. We got to watch it all, which was weirdly satisfying. It felt like we were watching reality TV and it was like, oh, I know the ending. And you're like hazing them. Like, we had to go through this. It was crazy. I feel even bad mentioning this, but the guy who came, he was clearly nervous because he could see how angry everybody was.

And not like we weren't like sitting there like huffing and puffing, but he could just tell we've been sitting there for a couple hours. That he does his little like his, his, uh, his, knife juggling routine. And something, when somebody is doing a knife juggling routine, the last thing you want them to say is whoops. Oh, no. One fell out of his hand. Whoops.

He picked it off the ground and then continued using it. And I was just like, look, man. At this point, you can't. You just want your food at this point. I'm in a curb episode. I don't know. It does feel like a social experiment. Like somebody was waiting for one of the groups to like say something and no one would

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I have a review of the Newport Beach. This is going to be so cathartic. And it has nothing to do with anything you said. But it's a very passionate one, I think. Well, we got to find all the things they excel at. Yeah. We're trying to build them back up here. Do you guys palatclones with good reviews?

Yeah, every now. Like a redemption, we call them. We try to redeem the place. Sometimes the redemption are worse than the last. That is very true. That is very true. They're like, I'm out. I'm going to.

No, okay. I have no idea what the next word's supposed to be. I'm a what? Proud boy. Oh, what? Did that happen? That was a last thing. Did that happen?

Excuse me? What are you reading? How Benihanna, Newport Beach? Holy shit. What I was trying to say is that five stars sometimes are worse because it's like, I'm a proud boy and I love this Beniana and you're like, shit. That sucks. I don't have reviews like that.

Don't even. You have to review in four-year amusement. It was like, I'm a proud boy, love the show. I would, like, be very concerned. Yeah, it's like, what have I been saying to make this happen? Well, and then I started to say it, and then it would be capable of, and choose to find. I was like, I have to say it now.

I'm sorry, guys. That's okay. It's really awkward. Let it go out. It's fine. You just lost all of your proud boy audience. Congratulations. You played yourself.

Oh, no, no one will listen to this. Anyway, I do have a four-parter. Oh. It was a three-parter until yesterday. And I checked it again, and there was a fourth part. added literally yesterday. On Yelp. I sure we keep refreshing then.

You don't know. You gotta keep tabs. Here's a one-star review. The first one. This was written December 30th, 2025. This is you guys. Very recently. Oh, weird.

I wonder what this review is. This place is like a cult. Go once and you'll get a million emails over and over. I never signed up. I've unsubscribed 10 plus times, emailed multiple people, and reported to the FTC. I can wait for this. to go belly up. End of the first review.

Oh, boy. How did they get their email? Right? I have no idea. Talk about a CD underbelly. They're like credit card. Like sometimes I'm at a cafe and I use a credit card and I get an email. Is that not a normal thing?

I don't know me somehow. Like a square payment or whatever. Yeah, but like. I don't think Benny Hahn. I mean, listen. I got an email without putting my email in. Father Stevie Oaken. Uh-huh.

That's no good. Yes, that's so true. I'm going to write Steve. I'm not going to write Steve. I'm not going to write Steve. I'm not going to write Steve. I'll start first. I'll start first with

love the hair, and then he'll start reading. You got a compliment sandwich, you know? Yeah. He does have shiny hair. Here was an update or review January 10th of this year. Wow, this is really, okay, recent. Update, still receiving emails day after day, racking up fees when they get hit with the FTC.

That's not. They're like, eight e-mail is another five cents. And the FTC is getting an email every day, and she's like, here, I'm adding another tattily. And they're like, we're not, nobody. I learn every day. Yeah, I know fast. What's fascinating is that. And now here's the third one.

Three days later. January 13th. Another update. These emails are nonstop. What's it going to take for you guys to get a clue? Nobody enjoys anything you guys provide. Give it up, Benihana's. Wow, she's really in a battle.

You know, like, when people say. I mean, the fact that, like, nothing is changing. And then here's the last one, as of now. As of yesterday. I just triple checked. Yeah. So it's yesterday was this review,

and there hasn't been an update today. Here is what it says. When will it stop? I'm not asking for a whole lot. Just quit emailing me. Leave me alone. Quit harassing me. No means no.

Got to hook this lady up a mailcham or something. Right? You know how to block an email. Can't you just hit unsubscribe? I mean, maybe not, I guess. Well, I feel like every time she calls that, well, okay. She calls the SEC. But every time she emails someone at the company,

I'm like, you're probably just adding new emails to the, You're probably just signing up over and over again. Every time you email. She's just been shooting emails into the abyss. When this lady has bad McDonald's, she thinks she's emailing Ronald McDonald. I mean, maybe she thinks that Steve Ayuki's checking Yelp, just in case. I mean, he probably should. There's a lot of wild stuff.

Knows how to leave a Google review, but doesn't know how to unsubscribe from a newsletter. And how to continually update the review. I will say, like, Google reviews often say, I wasn't there, because, Google will push for you to, like, review something. So they'll say you would email and be like, oh, how was this? And then some usually old person will be like, I didn't go there. Stop tracking me, Google. And it's like, clearly their own settings are doing this.

Businesses are getting aggressive with that, too, though. I was at a hotel recently. And after I checked in with the bellhop, or not the bellhop, I guess, like, the, what do you call the person you're checking in with the check-in attendant? The front desk. I don't know, front desk. There you go. I was having a good time being like, huh, the bellboy.

Bellboy. I was talking to the bellboy. That was your first. First mistake. That was my first mistake. No wonder why he made me do this. But I was talking to the front desk. And after we were done checking in, he was like, I really appreciated if you left a Google review.

And then I could give you your key. And I was like, what? And he was like, no, I would just, it would help a lot. And I was like, oh, okay, great. So I left the review. And then he was like, okay, I saw you walked in with five friends and you all have rooms, right? Because we were shooting for ghost files. He's like, could they come down and leave me a review to?

And I was like. He's literally, you can't hold someone to room hostage. I was like, no, I'm not going to call him back down. And he was like, fair enough. And he gave me the key. Wow, he's really good, though. He's like, I'm going to shoot my shot. It worked.

They worked for one of you. It worked. I did leave a review. I left a five-star review. It's another failed social experiment. Yeah, I left a five-star review, but it was two words, and it just, his name wasn't this. I don't want to protect his anonymity, but I just left to review that was like, met Brad.

Five stars. Neutral. Totally neutral. Love it. Just met Brad. That's all you need to. to say. And he thumbs it up. He thumbs it up. So good. So good for him. Yeah, that's great. You're helping the world. He's like, you did meet Brad. You did. Hell yeah, you did. This is of the Benihon in Cincinnati,

but it kind of alludes to your whole situation here. This is a one survey by Justin. You can literally fly to the moon, conceive a baby, have the baby, teach the baby physics, and have it fly back to Earth before getting service here. Tables were nasty and sticky and look like they were cleaned with Sprite. Absolutely pathetic. Benihana himself would roll over in his grave. Benny Hana himself. Wait. I don't think Benihana is a person. Benny Hana himself. I would like to talk to Mr. Hanna. Where is Mr. Hanna?

Benny, you know, your friend, beds. Benny Hanna himself would roll over in his grave if he knew about this bullocks. Wow. Bullocks. In Cincinnati. Can you imagine? A visitor from England goes to Cincinnati and then going to Beni Hana. No wonder they're sad.

Yeah, that's a bad combo. Cleanwood Sprite is so visceral. That is actually a very, very. That was a good descriptor. That's poignant. I'm going to steal that. Some Robert Frost shit. It is.

It's amazing. That's crazy. Also, the imagery of going to the moon conceiving. Sometimes I wish I could tap these people for like a writing career. That's right. Yeah, because sometimes they say something and I'm like, how does anyone brain work that way? Yeah, I'm fascinating. He's like basically you could be Matt Damon and the Martian.

A lot of practice. That's true. Yeah, we have like there's some prolific reviewers who have written thousands of reviews. Fox is the name of one of the main ones and his are always fucking batch. Wait, what? He has puns and it's like just nonstop. He's been featured on like the cut, I think. How do you know it's the same guy?

Oh, that's his Yelp account. He's a Yelp profile and it's Fox Air find. He's very proudly Fox E. Yeah. He's a proud boy. I was going to say careful with your movies. No, no. He's actually very.

He's actually very selfish. I feel like here and I would get along at least in that way. He actually has a music career and is a socialist and has a foot fetish. No. That would be interesting. Not that I know. I have a CD. I do have a CD of.

his. Is it good music? Foxy. Yeah, my brother-in-law. Oh, yeah. He gave me a CD of his. I forgot about that. It was a nice gift.

Do you guys ever look at Rotten Tomatoes reviews? Yeah, so sometimes and then letter-boxed ones are usually pretty good. So we'll just like jump around to like different things. Do you know who Armand White is then? I don't know. I was just thinking about it. I don't think so. He's a prolific reviewer.

He's responsible for making several films lose their 100% critics fresh. What a sick of them. Paddington? Was he the Paddington person? He was the Paddington person. And two. He made Toy Story 3 lose 100%. That's sick. What a bastard.

You should read some of his reviews. You should do an Armand White special. I don't want to give him the air. I'll literally come back on the show if you have me to talk about Armand White. Because I've been a fan of his work since college. His fan of his work and then I like reading it to go, this guy's nuts. I guess I was like, I remember back in college tracking the Toy Story 3. I'm like, it's still at 100.

It's still. And then I went to 99 one day. And I went to him like, who is this Armon White? Armand does it again. He sounds like real so-and-so. Oh, yeah, like the guy from Ratatouille. We should send, yeah, Anton Ego. We should send him to the Newport, Benihana.

We should give him a $25. Hey, we have the thing for you. Have a good time. So I have a review that we're going to Bethesda, Maryland, Benihana for this one. Bethesda? Mm-hmm. Here's a one-star review.

Are you kidding me? November 15th, 2020. Which is not the time to go to Benihana. It's going to say. It's like the worst. Playing fast and loose over there. Of all rest. I'm at a risky, risky business.

Oh, my gosh. My sister's birthday and were seated with a reservation of 8 p.m. All hell broke loose. The other servers were upset because they wanted our table. We clearly have money. They ruined you. Just in case everybody was wondering. All the drama started when they were arguing about getting this table because they seemed wealthy.

Everybody knows about the class system of Benny Hong. Yeah. It's pretty Bethesda. It's giving, do you know who I am? Yeah. Yeah. My first thought was, is this like a real housewife of Potomac? Like the, I was like this hat.

Good guess. And I did look up all of them because they just have initials in their profile. And I was like, do any of them have these initials? They don't. But I was like, I wanted to find drama. I wanted to find drama, but I didn't find it. But here we go. Okay.

They ruined our dinner by bitching next to our table with our server the whole night and pointing. I had to get my own drink from the bar. It's like, yeah, they really wanted to work our table. And they're like, we're so annoying the whole night. time so we didn't tip well. I was like, what? I had to get my own drink from the bar and my sister's rice came 10 minutes after the man was done doing the grill. I wouldn't come back here if my stomach was on fire and I need a cup of ice water. Manager is a joke. I'll take off two meals. When most of the meal was drinks. Please, I hope this place shuts down due to COVID. Y'all ruined

what would have been a good birthday. And the review. Saying it someplace, I hope it shuts down during COVID during the heat of COVID is incredibly funny, by the way. We had a time where we read COVID-related reviews. That only lasted a couple weeks when we were like, oh, this is not going anywhere. I think it's probably our most skipped episode. Like, not that... Yeah, for good reason.

I'm afraid to look up the stat analytics on that one because I'm like, who wants to listen to that? Nobody wants that. You know, like, no one... Give it, like, 10 years and maybe someone... But people went... Batchett during... I mean, obviously, crazy during COVID.

But, like, even online, people were, like, losing their... I mean, totally losing it. One of our favorite parts was the Yankee Candle reviews because people were losing their sense of smell. And so Yankee Candle reviews dipped because, people thought their candles don't smell like anything anymore. It was an entire, like someone wrote an article and did like a graph.

Yeah. It was like something like like Google searches about Yankee Candles smelling. Like there was all this like research that's whoever wrote this article did about how people were losing their sense of smell without realizing it and blaming Yankee Campbell. That small business has to suffer. Yeah. It's just too bad. Also Benihana, I feel like that might be the worst place to go during COVID, right? Like you're sitting next to strangers.

You can't catch the shrimp because you have a mask on. and then you cut a hole in your mask for the shrimp pole. You got to make a shrimp pole. As far as restaurants go, it could be one of the worst or one of the best. Because, like, let's say you had a party of eight. Fair enough. If you had a party. Then you're at the mergers.

As long as the servers are good. And he doesn't drop the knife on the floor and pick it back up. You have to provide your own chef from your bubble. You're like, oh, but my friend has to be the chef so I don't get sick. This is my bubble chef. Yeah. They just rent the grill to you. Habachi grill.

That'd be fun. COVID six years ago. Yeah. And so then when people are like saying this shit, I'm like, they went to Benihana in November. I was like, I was sad I couldn't go home for Thanksgiving. And these people were in Benihana. It took Ryan Byrd six years to get back to Benny Hana after.

And they've been waiting patiently. I don't think there's many instances of somebody being like, hey, would you love to go to Benihana tonight? The answer is always going to be yes, I would love to go to Benihana. Unless it's the Newport, Benihan. I think that seems fair. That's done. Yeah, that's a fair. Me and Benihana, Newport, we're done professionally.

I feel like this one, I don't know. exactly what's going on, and I don't really necessarily want to know. So this is a five-star view that, again, I'm not- Five stars? Yeah, yeah, it's a redemption-ish. Mike says, walked across the street to pick up camel cigarettes. Enjoy nice smoke before my meal at Benihana, Santa Monica. Set the scene. Yeah, this beautiful. Oh, we could go to this one. Yeah, hey. Oh, yeah. Wait, which, where is this again? Santa Monica. Oh. Post, very nice, sent me to bar, where bartender with nice beard suggests nice cocktail for me. Did they know all their...

It's like a kid doing madlibs. Nice. Nice. Who wrote this review 11 from stranger things? Yes, it's very nice. Nice beard. Nice beard. Pretty.

Nice beard. I walk past an angry patron named Hank who was very impatient in route. It is fine. That's a bad sign. If you know someone else's name who's like causing a problem in a venue, you shouldn't learn their name. The fact that that even happened. Hank...

Seems pissed off. Uh-oh. I walked past an angry patient named Hank, who was very impatient and rude. It is fine. Next, I go to table and enjoy my meal. Chef name was Edwin, very sensual. What? The name or the chef?

No, he was very sensual and playful with his entertainment. I see. Yeah. Review's written like a haiku. Fucking strange, two-word sentences. The two-word descriptors. It feels like a riddle of some sort. I enjoy and clap for him.

With a cigarette in his mouth. Yeah, it's nice. I enjoy and clap for him. Appetizer came late, but no problem. Nice manager, Mike, took off of the bill. What? So he got the bill. Wait, whoa.

Hold on. He's getting his apps. So basically, you need someone there to cause a scene. You need a Hank to cause a scene. A diversion. A diversion. Yeah, so that's the secret. Okay.

Because everyone, like most places, they all have their reservation problems. I've read so many reviews. Everyone's like, yeah, everyone waits. Like, everyone waits three hours. But not everyone has an answer. angry Hank. That's right. And that's special.

Yeah, that is special. That's a good move. Appetizer came late, but no problem. Nice manager, Mike took off the bill. Food, very good. I will be coming back. Thank you, Benny, Hanna. Thank you,

and Mike. Thank you, that's nice. Manager Mike. I think I figured out. The review, he's smoking the camel cigarettes, like, while he, like, because, you know, he had to get, like, nice drink. Like the McCona Hakeet. When he's smoking, he's mainlining the cigarette.

We only got a couple words in the descriptor before you got to go in for another one. That's true. Right, nice beard. It's like he's taking notes, you know. Yeah. Nice cocktail. Like a private eye. Yeah.

He just like met a suspect. He's like, hmm, yeah, nice beard. He's like, maybe a sensual. Sensual. That was Edwin. I don't smoke cigarettes. It sounds like a film noir, you know, like. Got gams all the way down.

Got gams. Like. If I smoke cigarettes, I'd only write Google reviews. I mean, really. Which is why I don't smoke cigarettes. That's the one thing keeping it back. Sensual. Yeah.

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Exclusions apply. I have a game. A game. For all three of you. Hey. You know what it is, but you don't know the answers. Okay, I was trying to think, what's the opposite of Benny Hanna? And in my mind, that's Golden Corral.

Okay, but like within the restaurant world. Why Golden Corral? So with Benny Hanna, you're sitting down a chef coming. to you, makes your food and everything. And then at Golden Corral, you have to get up to get your food. But they have enough similarities where it's like, basically the game is, is this a review of Golden Corral or is this a review of Benihana? Oh, that's great.

And because of bias, when I think Golden Corral, I think Ohio, where we're from, and I'm like, oh, God, an Ohio Golden Corral. But both of these are in Downey, California. So the Golden Corral and Downey and the Benihana. Some of the stats the same to keep like a clean experiment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to make sure there's no bias about Ohioans or Californians. It's just biases about Californians.

Or at least people in Downey who go to Benihana. Okay, Benny Hanna or Golden Corral in Downey, California. These are all one star, by the way. At least wash the dishes correctly. First time I went a couple years ago, I thought everything was delicious. Turns out it was because I was high as fuck. Now, that's a good hack. Yeah.

This time, I was not high as. all and oh m g it was dirty the food was gross end of review which one is that the plates the plates that fuels like golden corral because they're stacked on top of each other right and if you're picking them up and you're like ugh they're all dirty yeah or if you do what i do which is i take each plate lick it put it back oh right right right right and so the next person just so i could claim it love it yeah disher dominance over the corral i'm not willing to concede that benihana's food tastes bad quite yet. No, serve is very, even when you're sober.

Okay. I'll take that to the grave. So I mean Golden Corral here just because I can't vouch for Golden Corral and having high quality food every time you're there. You're at the mercy of whatever heat lamp or whatever. A hundred percent. And also, whatever heat lamp is currently warming. Yes, yes.

But also, if you were high and you went to Benihana, wouldn't you, like, focus on the volcano? You'd have like a great time. The sorcery, the spectacle of it. It's a show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dinner and a show. Yeah, I'm guessing Golden Corral as well.

It's Golden Corral. Oh, yay. We're good at this. Wait, if you love Golden Corral, did you guys ever go to Sue Plantation? Oh, yeah. Like, actually pretty soon before it closed. And then once it closed, I was like, wait, I had just discovered that. I was so late to the game.

I love soup. My wife and I loved the soup. Yeah, and I was vegan at the time, and I was like, option. I was like, this is great. Like, I just went and filled up on, like, different vegan things, which Golden Corral, believe it or not, is not the most vegan friendly. I know you would be surprised. It was one of the surprise. No, that makes sense.

Yeah. Honestly, it's probably for the best, you know, it's like they would say things are vegan. I'm like, there's no way. They're not air using exclusively. It's just deep fried. At the hometown buffet. Here's a second one. They did not honor their own birthday coupon on my cell phone.

That's what happened to me. On my birthday, when I arrived on my motorcycle, end of review. When I, okay. You got some, sick. Details, you know, I'm trying to give you like a little insight. This person needs to take the writing course that this other person's going to teach. He arrived on, hold on it. Say again.

They did not honor their own birthday coupon on my cell phone, comma, on my birthday, comma, when I arrived on my motorcycle. It's one sentence. It feels like I'm in a German class, and it's like, now translate. Yeah. Yeah. Arrived on my motorcycle. What's also weird about it is that it makes it seem like because he arrived on a motorcycle,

they're like, we don't honor coupons from motorcycle riders here. Get the fuck out of here. Because we respect safety. Yeah. And then you're just looking at the place. Yeah. Yeah, that seems right. Where would you ride a motorcycle to do at Golden Corral or Penny Hanna?

I don't know. Which one's cooler, the place to be seen? Probably Benny. I want to be an optimist here and predict that it's for a birthday, right? That they would be at Benny Hanna. No shade of anyone that goes to say a Golden Corral for the birthday. Yeah. Fair point.

A coupon. Yeah. Okay. I would say, yeah, I agree. Benny Hohler. Well, this loser went to Golden Corral for their birthday. On a motorcycle? No, yeah, no, it's Golden Corral.

Wait, it was Golden Corral? It was, golden corral. Isn't that wild? Now we've got this motorcyclist on our bad side. I feel like we've celebrated because like whenever our like step grandma would be in town, we'd be like, hell yeah, we've got to go to Golden Corral. Fucking Corral. Fucking loved it until I like turned 12.

And then I was like, wait, it's kind of gross. Like once you're aware of like sanitation, you're like, oh. Once you learn germ theory. Yeah, germ theory. I have so many more questions about this person. Because like if it's a birthday party, you're riding on a motorcycle. So that means everybody else is in a separate vehicle? This is why we're so happy you were here to describe the situation.

Because, like, we don't get the answers and it's infuriated. We have to live with the gaps. Maybe a significant other and they're on the motorcycle. Maybe there's a side car. Maybe, yeah, that's true. Like a side car. Like Indiana Jones and Dr. Henry Jones Sr. I was thinking of Aristocats, but.

Same idea. Same idea. I'm usually thinking. They both find nons. Usually thinking of aristocats. So that was a golden crowd. That was a golden crown. Well, here's another one.

I can't believe I got that. That went wrong. One star. Horrible experience. Had dinner there on September 10th. Too much drama going on. Couldn't enjoy our dinner. There was a big party that seemed like they were just trying to get out of the bill.

Ambulance showed up. There was armed security walking around. Not the crooked wagon. Was not enjoyable and not worth it. We'll not be returning. First off, this doesn't seem like the business's fault. The ambulance showed up. Ambulance showed up.

Armed security was there. So what they're contending is that there's other. table through such a fit that the ambulance to get out of their bill that the ambulance, wow, they committed to the bit hard. Yeah, where they like, oh, food poisoning, I'll pay like $10,000 to take an ambulance ride just to get a free Benny Hana meal. This is a waffle house. One of the best episodes.

We did that. We did that. We got to find that one. It's badshed. I'm going to listen to that one. It's bad shit. We need to do that again if we haven't. I'm like that one we could do like a full podcast on reviews of waffles.

We did a live show in Atlanta. and were able, or was it Elena? Yeah, and able to do, like, local, like, the original. I think our full episode that we did was Waffle Houses in Atlanta, Georgia. Because it was an early one before we, like, made it as broad as we tried to be. Downy California only. That's definitely Benihana, because I think you're more aware of other tables around you. I think when you're at a Golden Corral, you're kind of in your own little world.

Like, insular. How many plates am I going to have? And how many have been licked by Ryan Vergara? Yeah. All of them is the correct answer. Which restaurant has like a better chance of having a disagreement over the bill? Probably Benihana. Wait, Golden Corral you pay when you, because it's like per person.

They have a host stand, I think. But that's a very little different than the old stand of Benihana. What's in my daughter, a bellboy? They have a bell boy. There's a concierge. The hostess is a horse. The Golden Corral. You hand him a bag of oats.

In Kentucky, it might be. I haven't checked. It might be. I think it is. Benny, I think I'm going to go to Benny. I agree. Correct. Yay.

There's no way. The next one sentence says, I would recommend finding a smaller Habachi restaurant and getting out of this chain. Wow. Yeah. The ambulance showed up. And it's so unfair,

they'll say things like that, and then they won't tell us why or what happened. They'll just be like, then the ambulance and the police game. And they're like, enough said. It's like, no. No, no. Yeah, I want to know what happens.

It's not enough said. It just got too big. Mr. Hana sold out. Oh, not. The food poisoning is a good guess. Either that or like maybe when they tossed the hot shrimp into their mouth, they were like, oh, it's burned my tongue. You know what they didn't.

And they like a burn victim shirt. It's the same guy. He goes around to different chains. He hit up a waffle house probably. I mean, you got to give this guy a white shirt and a sharpie. He's a minute. He's good, you're in trouble. Always at the free bill.

Okay, I've got one more. This is a quick one. What's the score right now? I think you have one correct. We're two for two. We have two. How dear. We come to this podcast and you and you try and take a point.

I don't care. I don't know. I'll make sure we leave good and humble. Yeah, yeah. I like my review that I leave of this podcast later. I'll tell you that. I've seen worse. I don't think.

I'm sure we've all seen worse. It's the internet. The only thing better than. Let's not joke about that here. Okay. We got to bring this home. The only thing better than Friday traffic at four or five people. is knowing full well that you went, what, two for four?

Just a cool 50. It'll all be worth. It'll all be worth. Right. Yeah. And there's one more. We're just kind of predicting how this will go. Yeah.

And here's a one-star review. Today, June 16th, 2018. Okay. Meat from an old cow. End of review. Meet from an old cow. Okay. We don't know whether they...

I skipped the first sentence. I don't know if it gives anything, but I skipped it. Maybe it, I don't know. What is it? It says, the yellow rice was totally oversalted. And then the next sentence was, today, June 16, 2018, beat from an old cow. This is really poetic.

And yellow, instead of a W at the end, has a cue. They are next to each other on the keyboard. It's a riddle. I just want to make sure that I... Yellow key. That's got to be Golden Corral, right? Because I don't recall any yellow rice. Yellow rice at Benihana, at least when prepared properly.

fried rice is kind of yellow, but it's more golden brown, I would say. Maybe, yeah. But then again, like, who's eating meat at Golden Kerr? Like, there's too many people, that's for sure. Is that the main course? Can you imagine you take meat off the menu at Golden Ferell? You'd have a riot on your hands. Yeah, you know.

Angry Hank would move from Benihanna. He couldn't have saved. If we were talking like meat that's, like, dressed up with stuff like a burger or whatever, it's just straight up like they have like steaks and stuff out there on the... Don't they have people who are also cut, not in the fancy way, but are like... Omelette Station style. I think they have a... Almut station?

That's sick. No, they don't have... Oh, okay. I'm about saying I'm in. I want to say they have someone like cutting meat. Is that right? Yeah, they have like a heat lamp

with like a big roast on it. Yeah. I feel like they do cut meat in front of you, but yeah, it's not like burgers and stuff. I don't know. Like, I don't know. The yellow rice. Yellow rice.

Yellow rice. Oh, yeah. Yellow rice and meat from an old cow. You guys know better than I do about the Benihana. I don't think there's any yellow rice at Benihana, unless this was a very, strange incident. Which also possible.

Have you been to the Downey, California? I could see someone calling it yellow rice though. If it's like bad memory. Or is it from Downing? Or is there. And I can make that joke because I am half Asian.

I was hoping someone would. He was sitting there just shaking. Like, someone's going to say. Because let's see. Because when they do the fried rice, there is oil and stuff on it. There's other stuff mixed in. I would still say that's cold and brown.

It's definitely not yellow, but I'm saying someone could be like misconstrued like when they're back at a, you know. I mean, they also didn't say beef. They said meat from a old cow. I don't know that they're necessarily like the most well-versed. That sounds like a heat lamp situation. Right. I agree a little bit. Meat from an old.

Yeah, that does sound like. I'm going golden. It does give me like the visual of like someone like carving it there and it looks sad. And it's just like. Yeah. It was golden carous. Yeah. Well done.

Well done. Three one. Hey, that's not that bad. Yeah, three to one. I almost said two, two. That's a C. I just wanted you all to lose. I don't know why.

No, you did so well. I will admit, at first, I only had Golden Corral reviews. I'm like, I feel like I got to do this in some episode where I don't even. It's fucked up. I was like, no. All right. Well, I think I have like one more, Zandi. Yeah.

I think I've won like redemption and that's it. Oh, I would love to hear a redemption. Because I, again, I want to keep saying it. I think Benny Hanna is a great restaurant. Oh, yeah. Usually when we do reviews, we usually fall on the side of the business. Even when it is a business, like a big business, it's kind of like these people are a little wackadoo.

You know, we can all agree that. Oh, I remember that in your guys Tiki Bar episode where there was the guy who was asleep at the counter and you were like, it sounds like, yeah, you should have been kicked out. Yeah, my friend told him. Totally. That's right. Oh, my God.

People kept wanting to cuddle me or whatever. Yeah. There's a high, a heavy emphasis on the cuddling. Yeah. Sensual and what. Sometimes it's like you read these things and you're like, oh, okay. Yeah. You're like, I don't want to leave my house anymore.

People make me nervous. The classic case of somebody telling on themselves without knowing it. Yeah, it happens a weird amount. It's like, what? You're telling yourself. You're not. All I said was, XYZ. Sounds like you're the one star person.

Yeah. Experience right there. So do you have one before the redemption I have? I do. I have a two star of you. Now, this was from... Two stars. Zomato is a thing?

I don't know. It's called Zomato. We don't really ever read these, but it's like another review site for restaurants specifically. Sounds like something like, MapQuest that was a thing and then it's kind of like... It's probably owned by the quest, yeah. MapQuest brought me back so many memories. Last time I was on that site, I was afraid of getting a virus.

I was going to say, if you probably did get one, it feels like... I was like, oh, I wonder if MapQuest is still around, and it was like a pop-up sort of... It's like, when you take it in eye space and it's like owned by Ashton Coucher, and you're like, get me out of here. Oh, no. Was it? It was... Or is Justin Timberlick in one point, was it? I don't know. I don't know how many times it's treated hands. It was one of those. I think you're trying to make...

Justin Timberlakes in the social network. Well, sometime in college they're trying to make a revival. I think it was Justin Timberlake, but that is true. He did play Sean Parker. It's cleaner. Yeah, yeah. This is how we get. Who bought my space?

Oh, not a... Justin Timberlake. He did? Wow. Sold to specific media parentheses with Justin Timberlake in 2011. So I oftentimes get people like Jude Law and Justin Timberlake and Ash and Goethe. No, sure. No, she thinks everyone is Jude Law.

That's kind of her thing. I don't think everyone's Jude Law. She's seen Jude Law at least 30 times in her life. Okay, it was 16. Like an accurate number is zero. No. The one in Shanghai was for sure him, though. That man in Shanghai was not, you have a picture of that man.

And it's confirmed to be not. Also, also, we looked at where he was that day. That's got to be too long. I told my stepmom and she was super drunk. She's like, let me go ask him. And I'm like, don't ask that random ass man. And that was right after she ordered the yellow rice. It was a whole scene.

It was terrible. I love the holiday. My mom loves it. Which a grave film. It's a good film. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, two-star reviews.

Are you done? Yes, I'm done. Okay. This is from zomato.com from 2014. And this is what Karen had to say. By the way, it is Karen. And it's spelled K-A-R-O-N. Whoa.

This feels like extra sinister. I'm coming about that. It doesn't feel right. That's where the extra star came from. Oh, shit, you're right. That's the final boss, Karen. The ones with the E's only one star. Yeah, that's just like...

She's like, I'm not one of them. She's, I'm a cron. It's like a Karen with like some nuance. That sounds dangerous. A nuance Karen is not, okay. I'm so stoked. Why did you change the shrimp sauce? Once again, you've messed with the recipe of your shrimp sauce and it's more garlicky now.

What is wrong with the way it was a year ago, which happens to be the last time I was able to dine there? I'm posting this in hopes you will receive other postings of disapproval of your new recipe and return to the old recipe you actually got from the previous recipe. restaurant that was at that address. The food was still good, but when you dine there specifically for the delicious shrimp sauce that cannot be found anywhere else, only to find the recipe has been tampered with. Tampers. It's very disappointing.

Plankton. He stole the sicker recipe. I'll wait to hear from someone else if they return to the old recipe before I dine there again. Sorry, but it does mean that much to longtime customers like myself and my friends, Karen, Debbie and Debbie. Nice, Debbie squared. Debbie is D-E-B-I and Debbie is D-E-B-B-I-E. Well, how would you tell them apart? Caron is Caron.

Karen is Caron. Caron. This lady has, like, the most amazing, like, Bourdain-level palate that she can remember the exact taste of it a year later? There's more cumin in this. Yeah. That's crazy. But also, like, you go there once a year and you expect them to change the fucking

recipe for you? Like, at least give them a little more business than once a year. Yeah, what they have no right? She's like, that was the last time I was able to dine there. Well, then why do you get to go home? That's not fair. That's not fair. Do you feel a little embarrassed by this, Byron?

Because, like, I feel like we're both pretty big Bennyheads. I don't recall any changing in the shrimp recipe. Look, if this is like Dintai Feng, I would be more confident. That's true. We do detail. Like, you go to, like, what? How many times? You probably go more than me, but it can't be more than once than...

Three times a week. I was kidding. I was like... As I was processing, my brain, I was like... What? I was like, keep your face neutral. I was like, like, three times a year. That would have changed my approach to this episode.

If I come in thinking that she went three times a week, I'd be like, oh, I'd be scrap this. I think three times a year. More likely two, though. I'd like it to be three, though. Yeah, yeah. Because I can say that I did notice the shrimp sauce at Dintai Fung one time got me worried, and then I went back another time. Like, oh, we're good.

So maybe it was just like, you know, an odd day. If any hon, I would not trust my. We've had off pods before. This person going once a year is like, oh, trust me. I know, I know this sauce. I was like 10 deep last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Granted, but it's definitely not this.

Debbie and Debbie were in agreement. Yeah, for sure. Debbie and Debbie were like, we're staying out of this. Yeah, so that was my last one. Yeah, I've got one more, and it's a redemption. Oh, nice. I picked it because of you all in a way. So it's a five-star review of the Benny Hanna in Downey, California.

Love the environment and loved the service given by Alexa and Sarah. Great teamwork all around. Made us feel like we were at the happiest place on Earth. For a second, I thought Mickey Mouse was going to surprise us and cook for us. End of review. I don't want that. You're talking about dropping knives. Yeah, I don't want that.

No. And not to say, like, Remy from Rattitude, it's like the chef. Like, it's just that kind of like. Yeah, you could have really used a better Disney reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would not want Mickey Mouse cooking for me. But I don't know. Mickey Mouse pops up.

You know that bill's going to be sky high. Oh, that's true. You have a private, like, yeah. Yeah, they got to pay for that licensing, I imagine. The Tabachi. joint that's in Disney World over in Epcot in the World Showcase in Japan in the Japan Favilion. It's called Teppanito.

The Japan Pavilion is right. I like that. It's basically the same thing as going to the country, right? Yeah, no, yeah. I tell people I've been to Japan because I've been to the Epcot one. I say that to my wife sometimes and just piss her off. I'm sure you loves that. Yeah. Well, they do that awesome program, though, that the people working at the pavilions are from that country. That's right. That's mandatory.

Oh, that's cool. I didn't know it's mandatory. That's fun. Yeah, which is really fun. It's like force feeding the culture. It's the least they could do. And they have a bocce. But yeah, no Mickey there. It's just normal people. And it's delicious.

Frankly, better than Benihana. Like, it's really good. And I'm not just saying that because, like, I'm a parkhead. I was just at a Disneyland over Thanksgiving weekend. And food was so good. I love the, I like forgot how good their food could be. You were at when? Oh, you weren't?

Yes, I was. With my poo ears? Oh, yeah. I got poo ears as well. I love the poo years. Yeah. My friend, let me borrow that. them.

I'm going to Disney World for the first time in March. Well, not the first time. We went when I was like four. Like children. And I don't remember it. You got to hit the Universal Parks too.

Excited. They're great. I do have a four year old with, we'll have a four year old with me, so I think I'm a little bit like, but it's my in-laws are, here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say.

My in-laws are running the trip, and I'm not really like, I'm just kind of tag in it. Is that why I'm not invited? I was wondering. If you bring poo ears, I guess you can come. Okay.

Yeah. But yeah, this was wonderful. Hannah, this was great. I really didn't think we'd get to unpack this. To this extent, so quick. This was actually, like, this is, like, free therapy. Yeah, we're always here to get, like, into the details.

That's how we treat it. We treat our listeners as therapists. Honestly, next time we have a miserable experience, we know who to call. Yeah, please. Oh, yeah. It does feel dangerous, though. We want your content. I feel a little guilty.

Like, even leaving a bad review. No, because I kind of do know. That's why I don't lead bad reviews because I'll feel guilty later. And I'll be like, was it really bad? Normal healthy approach, I would say. I'm willing to make the exception here. But I think three hours before food is safe to say, that's pretty rough. It's kind of like a warning to people about it.

You're telling people, hey, don't show up. And then maybe their weight tons will be better because fewer people are going. That's true. We've established that we're inevitably going to be back at Benny Han. Not the new poor one. If nothing else, we know you're going back. The Anaheim, the Anaheim Benihana. We'll see you soon.

Can you use those coupons at any Benihana? Or is it just that location? I think it's any benny. I believe it's any... Now, that would be wild if it was just that... I did read about a lot of coupons not being accepted. Oh, shit. I didn't even check to see if it was in any bennie.

Don't have it on your phone. Definitely have it physical. They were very like... Don't show up on your motorcycle. Don't motorcycles allow. Or at least parking out of garage or something. The twist is that both locations are in cahoots and they're finding a way to get more foot traffic to the Anaheim location.

That manager's calling like, like, I got you like at least like 40 more. Yeah, hell yeah. I don't know. what it would take for me not to go back to Benny Hona. Okay. Like, a chef could pull out a gun and shoot me. And if it was a flesh wound, I would still go. Okay.

Obviously, if I died, I wouldn't go to that same location. Probably not the same location. I'd change up the locale, but, you know. I mean, the chef would probably wouldn't, hopefully, wouldn't be there anymore. We'd get a good review. Unless you deserved it. It was like self-defense. Yeah.

I almost got a knife in me because he had a whoops. Yeah, the whoops. He had three whoopses. Three? There was a few whoopsies. He was probably so stressed. Oh, no. Those fingers were wiggling when he walked in.

As someone who experiences that, like, secondhand anxiety, I don't think I could handle it. I would be like... Put the knives down. You could just make the food diet at this point. It's totally fine. Like, you don't have to worry about it. It's okay. It very much looked like he was getting people yelling at him for multiple days.

Yeah, that's what it seemed like. We were all kind of like... That sucks. Just like, hey, man, just maybe just do the volcano. We're all trying to survive here. Yeah. That's so sad, yeah. Well, before we go to anything, like, you guys up to anything specifically.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So the show is on YouTube. YouTube.com slash at FYA pod is where you could find the show. Other than that, wherever you get your pods is where you could get the show. Yeah. In the theme parks rise with a Disney Universal. We're trying to get more into regional parks now.

So hopefully we could cover some Kings Island. Yeah, come to Cincinnati. Cedar we want to get to. Cedar points a couple hours away from there. Again, beach water park. What are your thoughts on the abandoned beach water park across from Kings Island? There's a water park. It's like really decrepit.

And it's like been multiple hands. And then they're always like, we're going to reopen it. going to do it and then they don't. And so now they're just going to tear it all down. I'm not confusing. I'm not confusing this with like Geaga Lake or whatever. I don't know what that is. Like I don't know that anyone really knows much about it.

They hopefully don't because that would mean something disastrous happened there to make to make news of people outside of the area. Outside of Mason, Ohio. Well, not necessarily. He has a pretty encyclopedic knowledge. I was shooting a, I'd do another show called Ghost Files on the side, but I was shooting in Texas in this small town. where what he probably knows the name of the town

Is this ZBT amusement part? It was. Anyways, we were shooting in this small town and I was like, wow, they have a small family amusement park here and there's a roller coaster and I was telling Byron, should I get in this roller coaster? And he was like, oh, you're talking about Switchback.

No way. I think they actually just closed it, by the way. It's a good roller coaster. I know, I don't know. It's a good Woody. I will always be jealous of you for that. Wow. It's a one great.

The Beast in Kings Island is like the longest wooden roller coaster I think. Oh, that's right. I haven't written it yet. I think they lengthened it or shortened. They did something to its length recently. Have you been a ghostwriter? Over in Knott's Berry Farm?

No, I've never been to Natsbury Farm. I think that's the best one and rollercoachshed in the world, but I haven't been on the Beast. I mean, I wouldn't say the beast is the best. Some people say it is. I mean, I love it. It's really fun. As a night ride out here, it's amazing.

Oh, yeah, because you're just in the woods. It's crazy. Oh, it's crazy. Oh, it's creepy. And then, like, if you're there at, like, Halloween time when, like, they're doing all the spooky stuff and you're going to it. It's fun.

Oh, I love Kings Island. Anyway, we'll talk to you soon. We'll appreciate it. We'll see you guys soon. It sounds good. Thanks for having us. Beach Two Sandy Water Too Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Cheever. The show is edited and mixed by Sarah Borges-W. Sound.

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