Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 376: Reviews of Party Buses

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

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Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to our podcast. It's called Beach to Sandy Water Too Wet. Yes. We read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. And I'm sister host, Christine. I'm brother host Zandi, and we are very excited. I'm just staring at myself. Yeah, I know.

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Yeah. And we like wipe the $10 tier off our Patreon. So now you can subscribe for $5 to get all ad free, including ad free YouTube. And bonus episodes every month. Yeah. We are thrilled because we just did a little crossover with four-year amusement pod featuring Ryan Bergara, formerly of BuzzFeed Unsolved. And when we met them in L.A., I had like a moment in Alexander. Did you mention Byron?

Byron's my best friend. I know. Byron is, like, I think one of the funniest people. Byron, Marin, yes. No, they're amazing. But the reason I bring it up is that I'm in a weird mood because we recorded that relatively late in the day. And now, for like two hours, we get the best time.

You can listen to our crossover on their feet and our two different episodes. And now it's like 640 and I've got my wine ready. It's so late at night. We never record this late. We're going to bed normally in an hour. That's not true. Yeah, Leona goes. about at 830, but I go to bed at 740.

That's a smart move, honestly. You should try that. I should try that. I'm sure I have tried it and it probably didn't work. Anyway, yeah. We're just doing a few new things, which is mostly being on video, being in person, drinking. I'm not doing that. But otherwise, it should be business as usual, folks.

Yeah, but we're excited for the YouTube. So go to the YouTube if you can and subscribe and like things because we want that to be a fun regular thing we do. So yeah, go like our YouTube. You still have some chili on your face. Really? Anyway, we're eating reviews as we normally do it, but we eating will lose. This time it's of party buses. That's right. I'm very excited. I think it's hilarious. It is the funniest theme. I've never been on a party bus, which is really sad to admit, I think. I think that's a pathetic trait of mine. I think it's because I, it's, you have a lot more, don't be hard on your talk. The social life. You have a lot more pathetic traits than that.

What? I didn't say it was my only one. I know. I just wanted to realize. I already acknowledged the fact that there were more multiple. Why would you need to do that? I just thought I would remind you. Didn't need to do that. That's the point. Anyway, party buses. I've never been on one. Have you? I don't know.

I doubt it. You know, when I went to prom, the one time I went to prom, I was in her mom's 2006 Prius. Oh, same difference. I drove my date. She was really impressed. I took a limo to the prom, but it wasn't something that I, I wanted to be a part of. It was uncomfortable. Sure.

No, it... No one wanted you and you're like, oh, no, I didn't want to be on that anyway. That's probably why I wasn't comfortable, you know? I don't know. It just was a weird, bad vibe. I don't even know how you sign up for a limo. I didn't sign it up for it.

Anyway, point being, I've never been on a party bus, I guess. I guess not that I think about it. Like, after wedding. Oh, wedding bus. Wedding party buses. When you're going from place to place? Yeah. That counts.

Like, especially after when you're getting trashed or everyone is. What about the school bus that takes you? from the parking lot to the German festival. The fuck are you talking about? Okay, well, you've clearly never been on a room. Germania. Jesus Christ. That sounds terrible.

It is. It is funny. You mentioned a school bus, though. Julio and I get it. There's something coming in this episode. Oh, no. You've teamed up with Julia again. But I do have a review here.

We're moving on. This is from Sam. He him. Sorry, Sam. There's an exclamation point. Oh, geez. This is a review of a classic. party bus. This is a review of

We Like to Party by the Vanga Boys. Stop! Okay, it sounds like she's peeing. Maybe. I don't know if you can hear it. Jesus. She just unloaded a box of wine into her cup. You can see it now on

YouTube. What were we talking? Oh, we like to party. Maybe you shouldn't drink that glass of wine. I haven't even had any of it. Yeah, I know. That's what the problem. That's what's scary. Alex Inner, it's going to regulate me in a No, it won't.

So here is a review of the single, the CD single of Venga Boys. And yes, on the front, it says, we like to party, exclamation point, and then single, and then underneath, in parentheses, the Venga Bus. Oh, fantastic. And it has an image of just a school bus. Not just a school bus. It's of the Venga bus, you fucking idiot. Pisses me off. It says a spagna on the side.

You know why? We're going to Ibiza. We were big. We were huge We are huge The traffic lights are burning Like think about the symbolism The imagery

So if you like to party And we did Yeah come on and move your body Like let's do it Yeah Anyway this is a four star review Of the Benga Boys' Song We Like to party

I feel like this is going to be Like a critical take Because it says four stars It feels like an intentional Like I've really thought this sir Oh I didn't know this was a guessing game But actually you're right So actually the title is

where are the rest of the tracks? And a bunch of questions marks. This is a verified purchase from June 1st, 2011. I might just be an idiot, because under track listing, it says, one, we like to party, and that's it. However, under that, it says eight remixes. Also, the people in the reviews

all talk about the remixes on the single. My copy has absolutely no remixes on it. Just, we like to party. I am highly disappointed and wish I never bought this. I've been a fan of Dansky, and DJ Del Mundo for years and was looking to get all the remixes since they are hard to find.

So buyer be warned, if you want just the song we like to party, then this is for you. If you're looking for all the remixes, then do not buy this. I'm still giving a high star rating because they deliver this quickly and I don't believe

that the company selling is truly at fault. No, that's Del Mundo. He's at fault. DJ Delmundo, don't get me started. I mean, he It's doing like 12 years to life for fraud. On the vanga bus? See, that's his punishment. He has to ride that thing.

It is a liminal space. It is, it is. Yeah. Those wheels of steel turning. Are you kidding me? That's the clanking you hear when the jailer drops the keys to do his pocket. Yeah. Wow.

Hopefully DJ Delmundo can reach him with a cane. I don't know what the fuck he has access to. Oh, like fishing wire. Sticky hands. Oh, he has, that's true. The vengabus is full of sticky hand. You know how sticky that bus must be. Well, that is for different reasons than the sticky hands.

Yeah, DJ Del Mundo has sticky hands and a sticky hand, yeah. That's a separate charge, and he's actually not being on trial for that right now. Oh, sticky fingers? Sticky, good old sticky, you see that TikTok that was like, I showed my mom's salad fingers for the first time. And she's, apparently she said, you watch this as a child. That's so funny. That's such our mom thing. Like, upset, like, visibly really upset.

And then everyone comes us, like, nobody. paid attention to us as children. They'd have no clue what we were up to. No, no idea. On the internet. And they still don't know. What year was this written that they could? 2011.

Oh, 2011, right. I have a feeling I was partially misled, however. Why did I obviously get a different CD than everyone else that got the CD with all the remixes on it? End of review. I thought it was over. Okay. I have a review sent in by Michelle.

She heard. By the way, that is devastating. And I do hope that, like, with the advent of Spotify, other streaming services, um, that this person was able to eventually discover the pirate bay yeah napster all the remixes yeah i hope they were able to find their remixes eventually me too me too get that fix you know youtube where you can also find episodes of beach you sandy water too wet oh that's crazy even ones with chili on his face okay this is from michelle she her party buses in dublin there are two companies VIP buses and another one i don't know which one goes with which but let's just say they're Dublin party buses i feel like if

Americans were on that, it'd be a fucking, I don't know. I'm just picturing American tourists on a party bus in Dublin. Sorry. I'm just like, man. I was like, do you have to reframe everything in terms of America? Well, in America. I'll just picture it as Americans on it so I understand. Dublin, Dublin, Ohio. Right. There's a Dublin, Ohio. That's where this is. There's an everything, Ohio. Okay. So, one star by Averil. Was that a hen party? It's a bachelor party for Americans who are unfamiliar. Yeah. I'm an American who's familiar. Learn that from my dad wrote a porno. Was at a hen party on Saturday. Rude driver, rude helper.

We asked the helper to take a photo at the start of the journey. He just about did it. We drove on a dual carriageway for an hour. The driver then decided to turn back, did a full swing around the roundabout, and nearly put us out the window. Most of us fell. Don't book. Oh, no.

Can you imagine he did a swing and they all went out the window? Yeah. I mean, Americans don't know what a roundabout is, so I think that was an American driver. You're probably right. Uh-oh. There was this huge circle. That's a job that Americans shouldn't have driving in a different country.

Yeah, no. I should have seen me break all the pieces of the car in New Zealand. Oh, God. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I was going to say, let's not. Insurance covered it. I was going to say, let's not indict.

I did not do anything wrong. Well, no, I didn't. Except when I spit on that lady, I will never forget. Plead the fifth. When I spit my water out on that lady at the airport, I still feel so bad about that. I forget why that happened. Why did that happen? I drank too much water.

That's it. No, it's not even a good reason. It was more wild. Wait, was that at the airport? Yes. And it went down my throat funny. I have never apologized more in my life, but like it could never be enough. I'm sorry.

I feel so bad. And I like finish it because I was like, oh, I got to finish this before security. I'm so happy. I felt so terrible. It's like it was like a reflex and I couldn't stop it in time. He just spit on her go. It's a reflex. I did not say that.

Like I don't know if she spoke English because she didn't say anything to me. She's probably in shock. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Like her face didn't change once the entire time and then she just walked away. And I was like, okay. and I was like, if I make eye contact, I can't. And I like look down the rest of the head. Oh, no, she probably is going to hex you.

I would be so careful. Why? Because she doesn't speak English. She's someone who can hex people. Because you spit all over her. I would have exed a shit out of you. Are you kidding me? I was like, it seems such a leap.

That's all. Listen, I'm hexing for days. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you do actually. You do hex me a lot. It hasn't worked yet. My next thing. That's okay.

Oh, you're the reason I got diagnosed with all those things. Brain tumor. Brain tumor. Oh, you hexed me and put a. Petey, I gave it a fun personality. A pituitary glam. Third eye. I have a review sent in by Sam, and this is of a movie titled Party Bus on Rotten Tomatoes.

Okay, sounds great. Yeah. Here is a half star. Oh, I forgot we could do that. Yeah, this is on Rotten Tomatoes. Did I say that? Okay. Here's a review of Party Bus.

So the thing about a horror movie is you can actually have a protagonist who looks like a 60-year-old woman who blew her saving. who blew her savings trying to look like a Kardashian. But if you do that, you have to have a charismatic antagonist. Complete failure there. Dude would maybe do better selling, I don't know, dish sponges and TV commercials. Probably wouldn't be very convincing at that either, though. It's like, that's a hard job. No, I know.

You've seen an oxyclean guy? He went through the ringer with that. What the hell? So it was just a horror movie? Yeah, the first line is so the thing about horror movies. About a horror movie is. I thought so. and then I thought maybe I just kind of invented that.

No, it's a mystery and thriller. It looks fun. So who, dare we say who, is it anyone we would know? No, it's like a small, like, that's a thing. It seems like a smaller, like, indie film. Why would you bully this poor person? Because people are dicks. Who cares?

It's like seems very unnecessarily harsh. But that's the job. As an actor myself. I'm just kidding. As a podcaster myself. A half-star review is part of the job. As a video podcaster. It's a video podcast.

I think we've leveled up. So true. Now you can't thumbs down us, I think. Or wait, can you now on YouTube? I don't know. You can't put stars, though. You can't. We finally escaped you in your stars, your negative stars.

Okay, here's a review of a VIP bus is Dublin. Also from Michelle. This is a one-star view by a local guide. It has a response and an edit. So it's quite a convo back and forth. One star. No turn signals on buses. Okay.

End of review. Our original review. Yeah. Now we've got a response from the owner. all of our 120 vehicles have fully working indicators. If you would like to email us directly with the date and location, we will investigate. Although it is interesting, you seem to be leaving the exact same review for all transport companies in the Dublin area.

Hashtag keyboard warrior. Your profile account has been reported to Google. Hashtag sorry not sorry regards team VIP buses. I'm sorry. What year is it? This was a month ago. Sorry. Hashtag sorry not sorry.

What year is it? It's a wild choice. That's crazy. And now I have an update from... Yeah. Like very like, I don't know. It is. It's like kind of aggro.

Yeah. It feels all aggressive. I mean... It's kind of wild that they're if they're doing that. So here's the response or the update. From the original post. This is an edit made a month ago also. Like probably right after the response.

Edit. If your buses have indicators, then your drivers should use them. end of us. Yeah, see, that's the thing. They never said, they're like, yeah, all our buses

indicators work. They're fully equipped with the finest turn signals. Yeah, so I guess it's a fair point. Like,

oh, let me be clear. I assume that you had a working turn signal on one of the buses. Yeah, that was not the issue. That is not.

I thought we kind of all knew, but I guess I wonder if the owner knew and was like, it's like a little technique. Another keyboard work. What I mean? What I mean?

They all work. I know you think they don't. Yeah. Technically speaking. Yeah. You have heard us talk about hungry root before because it is one of, I think, the most ingenious inventions of recent modern history.

Honestly, of any modern history, any history, ancient history. Atlantic history, you name it, because here's the thing. They send you, it's not like, oh, we're just going to send you a couple meals and here's a recipe. No, no, no. They're like, hey, we got you. We know you're going to forget that your toddler's hungry after school. And here are some perfect snacks for her that she likes with her palate of.

It's like A to Z food. It's like everything. Every single type of food that you could want. throughout a day. In every diet. So they have like meat. So it's great because they'll send me like snacks and they send like Ithaca hummus. And then Zandi comes over and I'm like, oh yes, I've prepared all these snacks for you, but really it is just one of your. Hungry Root prepared all of that for me. And you know what? I don't care. It's delicious. Yeah. He gives me the credit anyway. He's just loving like that. You're going to love Hungry

Root just as much as we do. So for a limited time, get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Just go to Hungryroot.com slash Beach 2 Sandy and use code Beach 2 Sandy. That's HungryRoot.com slash Beach2 Sandy. Code Beach 2 Sandy to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. We're the Schiefer siblings and we have mental health conditions out the wazoo. Out the wazoo. Seriously.

If you've ever been in a scenario, which we both have faced multiple times, especially throughout different stages of life, moving around, trying to get a hold of a psychiatrist, trying to get an appointment with one. it can be so difficult to find somebody, especially who takes your insurance. And if you're feeling like what you're going through, anxiety, depression, ADHD, it's not just a rough patch. If you need somebody to actually a professional, which I always recommend, we think tachyotry was built for people like you.

Yeah. Sometimes, look, therapy is wonderful. And I love therapy. It's done so much for me. But sometimes it's just not enough. And that was the case for me. So I'm very thankful that services like tachiatry, exists because when I move around so much, which is true, like every couple of years I'm moving

and I go state to state. And he goes, I need to find a new one. And it's like one of the worst. It's like starting all over. It was part of me not moving in some point because I was so worried about finding one for my mental health. Yeah. But services like talk chiatry make it, make it easy. All their 600 plus clinicians are in network with major insurers so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out of network fees. It's just such a cool, cool feature, head to talkhiatry.com slash beach and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's talkhiatry.com slash beach to get matched in minutes. My next one here is from Donica. This is of the Atlanta party bus. Oh, the one.

Yeah. Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm just kidding. I was like, that's bold. Well, it's actually in Kennet Saw, Georgia. But here is a one-star review. If you are considering hiring this company, run. Like seriously, you are better off just running instead of riding in this bus. You will actually get where you need to go and get there a lot safer. You may get really hot running, but it's really hot riding in a bus with a broken air conditioner that only pumps out heat, too. Oh, no. Yeah, I was on a bus to a wedding with a broken heat. This was on Long Island.

I want to say it was hot. I don't know what... You mean broken air. Broken air AC? It's a broken heat. Oh, whatever. Broken AC is what I'm at. I was trying to picture if you were freezing cold, if you're burning hot.

Burning hot. Oh my gosh. It was terrible. Yeah, and everyone's in their wedding stuff. Yeah, and we all had to take off like layers because we were sweating so much. Really? Yeah, it was basic. Some people took their shirts off. This was before pre-wedding.

But no, there were like a lot of older people on the bus with us. And like people were legitimately getting concerned that there was going to be fainting. Because this was a lot. Fatalities, I heard. Fatalities. No, thankfully not. They met you with a big stretcher. Thankfully not until that wasn't until after the wedding.

Right. That's when I started. I got a little aggressive. What can I say? What can you say? Yeah. Nothing. You plead the fifth.

I plead the fifth. This is another review of a Dublin party bus there. Just having fun over there. Michelle sent this in as well. The last one didn't sound very fun. Okay. Fair point. Okay.

This is a different Dublin party bus, one star by a local guide. Here we go. One particular diver using his mobile phone while driving. They did put quotes around diver, but like they were clearly so focused on putting quotes that they meant driver. They were like emphasizing driver with quotations. Like our step grandma who puts love in quotations. And so it's sweet.

Like we know her intention, but it's always a little like funny thing when we get it because we're like, oh, it's like she's putting it in air quotes. It's like I miss you so much. And it's like, are you being sarcastic, Grandma Pam? What the hell? Okay. One particular driver, diver. Maybe she is. That's what I'm saying.

You said we know her intention. That was sweet. But maybe that's how she gets her jollies. Don't say that. I just not what I want. Pam, I know you don't listen. Oh, she came to her in the Pittsburgh show. We had so much fun with her there.

Okay, anyway, sorry. Irritating other road users. When confronted, he just stuck out his tongues. Man was over 40. Absolute joke of a company to hire someone like that. Yeah. A double-tonged demon. A double-tonged freak?

Double-tonged demon with a no-turn signal. Do you think they, like, made their tongue? like a snake tongue. Oh, that's cool. Because I've seen that only once, and I will never forget it because it scared the shit out of me. We saw cat eyes and a snake tongue. Oh, cat eyes was as a child. Snake tongue was as an adult.

And I was worn, too. It was my friend's hairdresser. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. And, like, I met her at like a bar in Cincinnati. I would be so funny. We weren't planning on going in that bar and we're like, oh, let's check it out. We've never been.

We just, like, walked through. And she's like, bumped into her. Yeah. I'm going to move on to my final thing. which is from Julio. This is your final thing already? Yeah, but don't worry. It's long.

And I have a good amount of challenge reviews. Okay. So we're good. Here's what Giulio has to say. I was looking at the new themes for February, and I immediately went over to the letter P in my rolodex of forums for party bus. My rolodex of forums, Julio. Cut it out.

Welcome to schoolie. S-K-O-O-L-I-E. That feels like a dip, like tobacco. Oh. Like cool? Skull? Oh, skull? Wait, I don't know. Is it Skull? Isn't Skull with like the Vikings? Like it's like cheers? Like skull. And then the Vikings, and I say the Vikings as in Minnesota Vikings.

It's because I'm American and that's my only understanding of Vikings. The word small means skull. Yeah, and you had a skull. But now you say skull. Some person. And it means like cup or cheers. But yeah. Oh, okay. It's like not a big deal or anything.

But I just, I know a lot about. When people tell me to... That you're so swole? Yeah. Anyway, here is the rest of this. What is a schooly, you ask? I certainly didn't know. A schooly refers to a decommissioned school bus that's been converted into a living space.

Usually a DIY recreational vehicle or home on wheels. The term applies both to the converted bus itself and to the lifestyle of living or traveling. Right. Okay. So one is a schooly, one does schooly, and one owns a schooly. It's a verb and a noun. I think it's everything. Wow. A multi- noun? Yeah.

An identity. So way back in 2006, Oregon fan 2008. By the way, ahead of his time by two years. Yes, exactly. By the way, bold to say you're a fan of Oregon in 2008 when you haven't even gotten there yet. You don't know what Oregon's up to. You don't know how you're going to feel about Oregon. Maybe they've been canceled by then.

Yeah, don't get an Oregon tattoo. The state might get canceled. That's right. Thank you. Oregon fan 2008. Someone that common sense media would refer to as a team. Oh, shit. Had an ambitious plan and asked the internet for their thoughts. It's the most teen thing to want a school bus to convert to it.

Absolutely. Enjoy eke bongen. No. Okay, now here is the forum. So here's the original post by Oregon Fan 2008. All right. So as you all know, I am the party bus guy who is 16. Just wondering if you've got any pointers for talking my parents into letting me get it.

Ravemobile. Thanks. Ravemobile. Ravemobile. in quotes and it feels proper noun. It feels actually correct. So Steve S.K.O. Has this to say. No, of course

it's not a good idea. But getting in Trello is part of growing up. The only thing I might worry about is a liability if something goes very wrong. Whoa! And then Oregon Fan 2008 responds. Yeah, like getting pulled over with 50 drunk people in it, L.O.L. Okay. All right, Oregon fan. The 16 year old. I support you for a minute. I'm like,

wait, wait. What is it called? Raveno? The Ravemobile? I like how he's like, a little fun won't hurt him. He's like, yeah, I'm going to get wasted and drive it to a guardrail. With 50 people behind me. With 50 people, you're driving the Ravenoble and 50 people are raided behind you. You don't even have your learner's permit yet. You need a special permit. So the next post is way

too long. They did multiple in a row. By the way, here's my first tip of convincing your parents, fucking cut that out to talk about 50s. Oh, yeah. Maybe present it in a little more less Ravenobile-esque way. And ideally, the parents would say no, no matter what. Be like, it's great for studying. For society.

Because it's a school bus. Yeah. So one person did bring up, like, you need to be 21 for a liquor license. You need to be at least 18 to have a CDL. And like, things very state to state. I was like, that's bullshit. I had one. I don't think so.

Yeah. And basically it was like being a realist, like, hey, not like. Let you down easy. Yeah. Like, this is a bad idea. Talk some sense of this little boy. And then they eventually said that they felt they were to doom and gloom.

So they, like, wrote a whole paragraph being like, oh, like, if my kids came to me with this, I'd smack them in the head. But they did give an idea of, like, turning a bus into a camper. Like, they gave suggestions for, like, other things. It was, like, constructive feedback. And I think both of them were constructive because the one was, like, actually said, laid out the reasons why it wasn't possible. I'm glad they're explaining all this to a 16-year-old who wants something called a ravemobile.

I'm sure it's going to... 50 drunk people land really well. I do appreciate the effort. these people are putting in, and the 16-year-old is just trying to get people drunk in his bus. He just wants to rave. So someone else made tons of points, again, about the legality and the licensing. An Oregon fan 2008 of both of those people said this. Yeah, I'm just hoping I don't get caught by the police because they are snitches.

Is this an undercover cop trying to, like, bait someone? Like, I don't understand. Like testing the schoolies. Right, like, why do you keep talking about this? Like how the forum is like put a mole in there to test schools to see like they get banned if they go along with it. He's like, I'm a 16 year old rave kid. Like how companies send fishing emails to employees. Yes, to test.

I was about saying test their loyalty. That's not quite it. But yeah. So then someone says, hoping to not get caught is not a good plan. Thanks. I mean, yeah, thanks. Yeah. And then someone also said how driving a bus is very different.

and a 10-ton vehicle with a bunch of friends in the back. Okay, but like we've tried this already. And his response was, but like getting drunk and getting... Come on. Yeah. And here is what Oregon fan has to say. This is... Here we go.

Yeah, I've driven a full-sized bus at this camp before. And it wasn't that bad, but I was... Keep in mind, this is a 16-year-old. So as in, like, I've done this before. Like, last week. Like, what? This probably just happened was like, I should buy a bus. This kid is manic like me.

He's like, this is easy. This is exactly what I would do as a child. He's like, you know what, this is perfect. The only thing that would make it better is 50 drunk people and a cop part. I was too straight edge for that. I know. I mean, this kid. Let's play some board games in the back or something.

I'm saying he's driving this bus going there's something missing. And it's a whole host of legal issues. Yeah, but then, and he says, it wasn't that bad, but I was strongly considering downsizing my idea to a short bus. I can just get a short bus and re-register it as a van or whatever. I'm not sure what I would register. You can't register it as anything. You're a child.

Why, stop talking. Stop talking like you're going to... You literally... Oh my gosh. So Ben was like, without a CDL, I can only have up to 15 people. Jesus. So it's like, oh, so I'll get a short bus and not a CDL. That's a good question.

They have to wait their turn. It's like a Ferris wheel. Oh, okay. Someone told them what chassis to register it with. It's like, I don't think this is happening. Stop giving... This is not, yes. This is not something.

This is the fantasy of a child. And like, he's like, he said. said someone gave him a specific dealer in the Portland area. Cut it out. Oregon fan was like, oh yeah, I know them. No, you don't. And also this other person, like, I just told him all the reasons not to do this, and then you give him the fucking address of the dealership.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Undoing all my hard work. And a coupon code. The final one, February 1st, 2007, Pete C-S-K-O had this to say. You're under arrest. I can see it now. 16-year-old bus nut. Can I help you off?

Oh, God. Officer. Kid, you got a CDL license. You got the entire high school junior class in this thing. You got the proper party bus paperwork in order. 16-year-old bus note. My officer, this ain't no party bus. This here's a rave bus.

Can I get you a bottled water? Officer. Sparkling tap. Yeah, that all. Officer, no thanks. Step out of the rave bus, please. End of form. My mistake.

And then closed. I mean, really beautiful. But this is a very, I mean, very, it's a still active place. So if you're interested in learning about. You're like, I won't say very. I know, I don't know how active, but I know there have been recent posts is what I was trying to say. It is an active forum still.

And I've seen people on like TikTok, YouTube, whatever. I don't like watch them regularly, but I've seen like clips of them making, like having these school buses that are basically a whole. The only way I will watch that content is in a commentary video about. abusive parents and neglectful parents putting their children because I'm fascinated by those

because it's like horrifying and then they'll be like influencers and we'll be like our journey with six kids on this bus driving through I mean it's honestly and they have no space can be honest like a 16 year old who wants a rave mobile

is more sensible to me than a person with like a bunch of kids that they're basically giving no privacy freedom whatever just like bunking them back there and saying you'll deal with it schooling them in there everything everything and they think they're giving No, they're just selfish who they want to live their life and are forcing their kids to go along with it.

And some of the, oh my God, there's this one family. And then they play, like, there was this video that's a reel or TikTok they posted. And they forgot to cut part of it. And it's like, the mom, like, screaming and they're all doing it wrong. And it's like this fucking stupid dance. And it's like, this is their latest nightmare. And they're just trapped in the desert on this fucking, I mean, with like all their siblings and they're like teenagers. I mean, it's a mess.

So this is from Cherie. I believe is Sharia, maybe Sheree, she, her. It's of the Finger Lakes Winery Tour. It's a bus that kind of drives you around and... Cool. Like most buses. You try wines and then you get back on. You're probably just progressively getting wasted.

That sounds fun. Not that I would know anything about that. You can tell what's happening right now. It's just, it felt right as a theme. One star by Robert. Wow. had a driver that was involved hiding a car that killed someone, that scares me. Like, what?

Wait, whoa, wait, wait. Apparently, this is a real thing. I mean, I don't know. I didn't look it up. But barely. But there's the Elper viewer said it's real. One of the drivers of this company was involved with hiding a car that killed something, like a hit and run, I assume.

Unless it was like a Christine situation. What else would be? A hit and run, I assume. Yeah, okay. Unless the car came sentient. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Waymo. Fantastic point.

Why didn't they call that, Christine? That would have been funny. Waymo killed a cat in San Francisco. Okay, so it says, wow, that scares me. Okay, cool. I mean, that would scare probably anyone. All right, and then continues. How safe would you feel with her driving you in a bus, no less?

Why would a transportation company even hire someone like this? This feels like a personal thing. Yeah, and also, the being scared about this. Like, it's a terrible thing to do. don't get me wrong, but like, in what way does that potentially harm you? How is just relevant in any way? Yeah, it's like, look, I've done the same thing. Hidden a car?

Yeah, and Grand Theft Auto, like three, you'd go through a little garage and come out the other side and it's a different color and different license plate. Love that. Yeah, I think it was three, maybe two, whatever. I'm sure it's a thing in all of them. But yeah, I've done it plenty of times. GTA, so. Wow, you do.

Yeah. It was a driver three. Now that was a classic. Now that was a fun game. Okay. This is a one star of you. also of the same winery. It was just right underneath by Matthew.

Do not waste your time here with anything. Staff there are like high school students. A bunch of drama. You'll have managers telling you one things, and then if someone doesn't like you, expect bad things. Horrible management from the cleaning side, John has no prior management skills whatsoever and is a walkover.

Antoine is extremely ignorant and is 45 thinking it's still cool to use profanity every single sentence. Do not use service on Sundays and expect a semi-clean vehicle. End of review. Don't even expect it to be semi-clean. I won't. I honestly, I expect them all to be sticky. They are, because there's no way around it.

We've seen the Venga bus. I wish. Only they'd let us on. Here's a one-star review sent by Stacey of the Berg bus, which is a Pittsburgh party bus. Oh, yeah. PDX is Portland. PGH. I feel

Oregon fan 2008 over here That's me That's me I have to take a drink before this Because Oh no

And I don't get anything No I don't want Your wine Your backwash wine Here we go One star By Paul of the Berg bus 1.0 star rating

August 21st 2022 A comedy tour bus Is a fun idea But the Berg bus It's not a good Well

Maybe It does not sound fun It's not a good idea Unless I'm hosting it because then I'm really good at it. And then it's not a Connoisse, then it's a Ravemobile.

True. I guess where we're going. It's Burke. Ibita. Duh. The silver wheels. You are not the silver wheels and wheels of steel, you fool. Oh my God.

I thought you were a Vengaboy. No wonder they kicked me off the tour. I'm a Vengaboy. But the Berg bus wasn't successful in implementing the concept. Alleged comedian. Carla Dussick was ill-prepared to lead the tour. She was the last person on the bus, and she scrambled to sort of pile of papers on the podium

as the bus took off from the bus. After some paper shuffling, she landed on one yellow page of handwritten notes, and she read about a paragraph of content. This was the best few minutes of the tour, but she couldn't keep up with the piece of the tour and her disorganized notes, so she abandoned her script.

Uh-oh, not... She went rogue. Don't go off script. Carlo went off script. Like, that's literally why our podcast exists, because we go off script for like an hour. But it's very different. She read about a paragraph of content. This was the best part of the tour, the best few minutes of the tour.

Carla spoke from a podium facing the back of the bus, which further illustrated her lack of preparedness. She identified some landmarks when they came into her view, which meant they were often beyond the view of the forward-facing passengers. Wait, so you're telling me, she's standing a poem, and she's going, Oh, there it is. Like behind the bus? Oh, my gosh. I don't know. Nobody can see it.

What is happening? It feels like the reverse of like Catholic Mass that like the Latin masses where like the priest doesn't like faces the altar. They're too holy to even look at you. You dirt. Yeah. Like it's the opposite where they're facing the back but they're like making other people look backwards. It feels like if it's such this is it's a bit like it's funny to me. It feels like a Portlandio sketch or like some sort of improv situation.

Like it might not be intentionally funny, but that I would find funny. Good, it's really funny. Okay, it's good. At least Paul knew how to make it funny for me and you and hopefully someone else. When she pointed out landmarks, she described seeing something on the left when they were on her left. That's even better. That's even better. That's not what I thought she meant.

I thought they meant. Like, it was behind the bus. Oh, so she'd say it's on your left. I wouldn't go. Looks to the left. She's pointing this one. That's why you don't get a comedian to do this. You get a tour guide to be on the bus.

Like, it's just so. So that's, hey, look, comedians, hey, you're one of those. And guess what? You barely know your left from your right. No, I know left and right. Okay. Extremely well. But I think it's because it's a different part of my brain.

Oh. The left and right ones? Which part of that? I don't know how brains work. Carla wasn't particularly funny either. Begged to differ. She tried to make humor from holding up a photoshopped image of Fred Rogers holding up his middle finger.

This is the dumb. I'm this thing I've ever heard. She's like for my next. What does she say? Look at this photograph. Every time. It makes me laugh. It's just like and you know when you're on those tours and everything's like laminated and has been used a million times.

She holds up this like crinkled up laminated picture. Fred Rogers with his middle finger. There's no way whatever the joke is that accompanies that photo that I find it funny. It sounds like I'm offended. I'm just like what is funny about this? It's not funny. And here we go. Fogany.

She tried to make humor from holding up a Photoshop image of Fred Rogers holding up his middle finger and when her first attempt didn't work she kept on trying without success. As the trip progressed, the music got louder

and her muffled commentary became more difficult. I feel like that much time was just doing. Yeah, I didn't know there was music playing. Why is there music? At first I was like, is she playing the accordion? Like, what's a funny instrument

that she'd be playing around. It's a beautiful day in the name. By the way, Fred Rogers is from Pittsburgh, if anyone's wondering where that reference even came from. Okay. As the trip progressed, the music got louder, and her muffled commentary became more difficult to comprehend. After the potty stop in a warehouse parking lot on the south side,

we just sort of gave up on listening to Carla. It wasn't worth the effort. This is a B-Y-O-B bus ride, and it seems that arriving with an elevated blood alcohol level is an essential component of the ride. If you run out of alcohol, they sell more at the potty stop in the warehouse parking lot.

I mean, that's where I get most of my alcohol. Yeah, it's in the back alley. You have to bring cash. However, the level of intoxication required to enjoy this ride wasn't advisable for our 1 p.m. departure. Oh, no.

It's a sad little bus ride. Travelers who don't need to travel with an open container of alcohol will find a good guidebook and a $7 Pittsburgh Regional Transit Day Pass to be a better alternative. End of review. That's harsh, man. That is harsh.

They need to take the fornicular. Is that what it's called? Yes. Yeah, they should have a comedian on that because it's so much shorter. Can you imagine if you just took that upon yourself? Like if somebody just thought of annual pass. It's a YouTube video in the making. YouTube.com slash speech to Sandy, me just doing comedy.

I followed my dreams of becoming the fronicular comedian. Yeah. In-house comedian. I do it like that. There's someone on TikTok. You're just like evading the cops. every time they try to kick you off. There's someone on TikTok who, like, records the audience as he does stand up to, like,

five people, and he starts it off with saying, like, I'm recording for my own protection. And then does these jokes that are like, some of them are just like really, they're like really stupid. But he cuts it off so you often cuts it off so no one's laughing. It just goes right to the next joke. And I feel like that's what it would be. I'd be like telling a joke cut. It's just no laughter. It's just like me telling a joke to people.

You're just kind of going through a list of like, okay. Holding up pictures of Fred Rogers In different scenarios. Hey, I have time to try out a lot of bits. Going up, one family, going down, another family, going up, another family, going down that same family that went up the first time, and I can try different bits to see if I get a different reaction. Now they're hot and angry.

It's honestly a great challenge, as a comedian, it's a great challenge. And I think that it's a really good way to hone my skills. That's right, because at the level that you're at, sort of like, I've tried it all because... You can only really polish what's... I don't know if that's true. It's just so polished, but like... Right.

There's not even more polishing to do. That was a really... There isn't, but what the thing is. It's the way things are crafted might change. Society. This is from Donica. And this is a one-star review. And it's of the 777 Party Bus LLC.

And the title of this review, which they've implemented a title system for themselves is the struggle bus. Oh, no. Again, written a year ago, not written like a decade ago. Guess what state this is in? What? Guess what state? Alabama.

Did you look? No. Huntsville, Alabama. Wow. Okay, one star. I wonder if that would be psychic or telepathy. Like if you... Neither. Worst experience ever rented the bus for three nights in a row, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

to be taken to the O'Rour. an amphitheater from our Airbnb and back 20 minutes ride each way and every day something was terribly wrong. I'm sorry. What is, do they say what's happening at the Orion Center? I'm assuming. Also, I think it would be really, I assume this review mentions Alabama. I feel like that happens a lot where you get there and you're like, oh.

Oh, that makes me upset that my brain like holds shit like that. And it's like, what a waste of space. Like, I don't need to know that this isn't Alabama. I mean, most of what's in my brain is waste of space. So at this point, I'm like, eh. Eh. So apparently there is some sort. I'm assuming a music festival, something of that nature.

Yeah, that would make a lot more sense if it was like the three-day festival. Because it was three-days in an Airbnb. Yeah. In my head, I was like, who are they seeing three days in a row? Three days, grace. Like, do they, oh. Who was on that list? Yeah, it was right there.

Yeah, I was wondering if, like, does someone have a residency at the Orion Amphitheater in Huntsville, Alabama? Right, right. We want to see them every day. Maybe. Maybe. Who would it be? Like, Florida Georgia Line? I don't know.

Okay. Did you ever hear the story about they were performing at a country, like a county, like a county Don't say that word so many times. A county fair in Connecticut, but then they got really big, like their single blew up, but their contract didn't let them out of it. Oh, yeah. You told me this, I think. This, like, small county fair was, like, people were driving from other.

And it got, like, absolutely insane. But they did the show. They honored their contract. Good for that. So the Orion Amphitheater, okay. 20 minutes ride each way. every day something was terribly wrong. The first day, the lights were off completely in the dark. We were hoping it will get better, but at our pickup, the bus was worst, hot as hell too.

The AC was heating up instead of cooling down on top of dark, no air. We were partying, and I'm so glad we didn't get sick and threw up in the bus. Me too. They promised to have it good and ready for day two with ventilation. There's poke holes in it. Yeah, what? The next time it'll have ventilation. Tomorrow? What are they going to do by tomorrow? What the hell? for day two. When the bus arrived for day two, it now smelled like rotten eggs. I wonder if that's relevant to them,

the ventilation. They were like testing the ventilation with rotten eggs. They were like, oops, it didn't work. Or the guy was just eating an egg salt sandwich while he poked holes in the room. True. You never know.

Could be either one. Yum. It smelled like rotten eggs like really bad, and it was about 90 degrees inside, if not more, was impossible to breathe. By that point, most of my group decided they didn't want to use the bus anymore. Because I paid the deposit, I insisted on keep using it with at least just some of my group.

Suck it up. And for the return of this second day, the guy brought us water guns. We had expressed him how terrible it was to be in this hot bus and he said he was going to look for fans, but instead he brought us water guns. I believe terrible idea when the electronics are not doing great inside the bus. We laughed it off, but honestly, that was kind of disrespectful and not helpful for the situation. Day three, only five of us jumped in the bus. Still trying because we had already paid the deposit, I guess.

We all thought we were going to get a deal and not get charged more, but they made us wait to be picked up and said we needed to complete full payment, and we just needed to get back home for the third night. It was difficult to find Uber, so I guess we had to pay. The end of this night was better. This driver made sure to cool down the bus before picking us up, opening ventilation. But all three nights, the TVs weren't working with visuals.

All three nights, the lights had problems, paid $355. per night and nothing to show for it. My friends called it the struggle bus. End of review. Your friends. I mean, it sounds like all of you struggled. That's pretty accurate. I love that like half of them were like, we'll take an Uber. Yeah. I think it's probably more of the experience of the group. I mean, I don't know. But I'm like, if it's a 20 minute ride and it's free or it's already paid for. Yeah. No. You've got to be like really having a bad time. It's got to be rough at that point. For 20 minutes to not want a free ride to the concert. I was like 90 degrees is probably an exaggeration. In my head, I was like,

That seems really hot. But now I'm like, you know what? Fuck, this sounds miserable. I don't care what temperature was. It sounds bad. Or Atlantic City where Vegas could be any. I don't know about any of those. You're so right.

My challenge was to find reviews of people who got stood up or mentioning someone who got stood up. And it sounds familiar. Like it feels like I did it recently or read reviews about it, like similar ones. I do feel like we've done something at least very similar. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Like a bad date or something.

Yeah. So this one's from Stacey. This is a four-star review of. Travel Lodge Darlington Hotel in Durham, England. Oh. So it's probably not pronounced Durham. No, it probably is pronounced Durham. Maybe.

In my head, I'm like, that's what, yeah, it's not. No, here they would say Durham. But. Well, they don't say, it's Durham. I know, but that's a more classy state than, you know, Kentucky and Ohio. It's in Indiana. North Carolina? No, I take it back.

This is a review of Travelodge Darlington Hotel. Four stars. It's in Darlington County, England. How about that? titled Stood Up. I traveled to Darlington to meet a lady I came across online. We arranged to meet at a local restaurant for food and wine, which would be followed by her accompanying me back to my hotel room.

Whoa! Awuga! I wanted the night to be as romantic as possible. So I wore a tuxedo and tons of aftershave. We arranged to meet at 8 p.m. At 7 p.m. I thought, in the name of romance, that I should cover the bed in flower petals. Oh, dear.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a show. shop near the travel lodge which sold flowers, but I was in luck. I found an accident black spot nearby. So I untied a bunch of flowers from the lamp post and made my way back to the travel lodge. I'm sorry. I hadn't heard that term either until this. Yeah. An accident black spot as in like a horrifying. Yeah, as in a place that commemorative shrine has a spot where someone had been killed in some sort of automobile. Vehicular. Yes. Okay. Horrifying. Yeah. Sure. So how romantic. And yeah, I think This is a very jockey in tongue and cheek or whatever. It sounds like a Ricky Jervais bit where you're like,

ha, it's funny. And then you're like, oh, but he's an asshole. Yeah, but like also this bums me out. Yeah. Remember someone was so defensive of Ricky Jervais? That was interesting. Oh, when we should talk to him? Yeah.

I do not like that man. That is the least bold state. At least hot take ever. Okay, anyway. So I untied a bunch of flowers from the lamppost and made my way back to the travel lodge. then proceeded to remove the petals and scatter them all over the bed. I arrived at the restaurant at 7.50 p.m. She'd never showed up.

Gutted. End of her view. Wow. But they gave a four stars for sleep quality. Okay. Well, I mean, the rest was three. To be fair,

they could credit that sleep quality to all the fresh air they got walking around looking for for accident black spots. They might have gotten a little dizzy from all that aftershave. You know, and at least they got that high out of the whole thing. That's true. No, I think that's really good for them. That's a win.

So this next one... Good thing. Everyone in the restaurant got to smell it. Yeah, I'm really glad for that, too. It's nice. This next one is of in another world massage therapy in Collingswood, New Jersey. This is a one-star review. Wow, is this guy awful. Bought a Groupon over a year ago.

Set up first appointment, and he no-showed. This was for a couple's massage lesson, so my husband and I were both there, date night, no masseur. Okay, gave him another, oh, six months later, he cancels on account of weather. Okay, fine. After five confirmation emails, we scheduled to go this evening. My husband arrived before I did and knocked on the door several times. Light came on, door opened slightly, then closed.

No answer. Oh, no. So he rang the doorbell, no response. Creepy. Then he emails me later, upset that I stood him up. Whoa. Ha! Gotta love this line from his email, too.

In quotations, it's asterisk, parenthesis. Don't fuck this up. Ampersand, asterisk, percent sign, asterisk, a carrot up thing. parentheses, asterisk, percent, ampersigned. It's like different.

He's having a... Anyway, and then it keeps going for like 10 more. So it's a bunch of supposed, like, I guess, expletive. So that's what he put in. Allegedly that's what he put in the email. He put in his email a bunch of things to like imply expletives. Got it. Okay.

And then said this. Figure out what that says. Classy customer service. Wish I would have read the other reviews before I ever bought the service. Don't make the same mistake. End of review. So. First of all, you bought a coupon.

I wouldn't necessarily. No offense. Okay. I would just say, don't say I bought the service. Okay. Uh-uh. Okay. I get it, but they did pay money.

Yeah. Like, period. I don't know. I know. And they waited. They've been trying for over a year. And they've been seemingly like showing up. Like they are ready to do this.

None of it has been on them canceling. He got cold feet. They've been ready. As long as he's not massaging with those feet, that's the problem. He might be walking all over them. But yeah, I love how he puts the expletive and says, figure out what that says. Wait, oh, so the guy wrote figure out. Yeah, that was part of the email.

Then he wrote. Oh, my God. What a dick. Yeah, a bunch of expedives and said, figure out what that says. Holy shit. Oh, yeah. I thought you met this reviewer was giving us a mystery riddle and I was like, I don't have time

for this. And the next thing they said was classy customer service. Wow. That was what the email said, yeah. Was to figure out what that says. It's so bad, but so funny. I typed it with my cold feet. Here, my next one is a review of first choice staffing in New York City.

It's a staffing company. It's a delightful. Yeah, it's a one-star review. This place is a giant frog. I was contacted by a woman named Jane, met with her, and when I got home, she called and emailed me that I stood her up. I called her right back with,

what are you talking about? And she even said, you must think I'm crazy, huh? Okay, first of all, sorry, if somebody ever called me and was angry, especially someone that I was, like, doing a service, I would literally, I am so serious,

like, change my number, like, I would literally change my identity before calling them back and going, what do you mean? I've angered you in an upsetting way. If someone accused me as standing them up, the... I forgot they call... I missed that, yeah.

The percentage chance of me... Oh, right, yeah. The percentage chance of me calling this person. Rather than responding via email. Or just not even responding. Like, I cannot even fathom like... Well, in this case, they're trying to get a job. So I assume they want this staffing company to like know that they exist and showed up.

It doesn't matter. If somebody says to me, I'm upset, you've stood me up. I'd be like, you're right. I'm changing my name and moving out of the country. You did ghost a bunch of people, huh? I've ghosted a lot of people. What did I say earlier? I sometimes, okay, once or twice.

I've ghosted a couple of people and it still haunts me. Yeah, that's the point. I mean that's the point of ghosting. That's the point of ghosting. Okay, that's why it's called ghosting. Well, also, I was going to say what I do sometimes. Pro tip, life hack. Hashtack, sorry, not sorry.

What you do is you type in, you Google what one of those messages says that says, like, this number cannot be reached. And then you just copy and paste it and send it back. That's not a pro tip. That is a terrible idea. I did that once in the year of 2000. If you're trying not to contact someone, here's a tip. Don't contact them.

Period. It was 2013. Once I remember someone prank called and I didn't know who it was and I recorded on my phone and it made a sound and they were like, are you recording? And I was like, no. It scared me so bad. And they were prank calling you? Yeah. Who was it?

I have no idea. Was it me? No. What the fuck? I know. Who did this? I don't know, but this was at Dad's house. Dad Nelsey's like, and I answered in my room there.

phone. You're recording. And it was like, I assume someone similar to my age, I have no idea. Yeah, by the way, as someone who used to prank call people, I really hate it. And I think it's a terrible thing to do. I'm serious. Yeah, we used to do that all the time. We got in trouble once because someone called back.

Oh, yeah, we didn't know about dial star 67 or whatever. Yeah, star 67. Oh, and my dad and stepmom were downstairs and they had a phone in their bedroom and they answered the phone and they were. so mad. I got mad at us a lot. I called her right back with, What are you talking about?

And she even said, you must think I'm crazy, huh? Well, yeah. There were no other candidates there. All of the so-called recruiters were taking smoke breaks and talking the latest celebrity gossip at the front desk while I waited

and waited to be seen and or tested. Needless to say, I highly recommend all those in search of work to stay away from this agency if you're serious about your employment. This place is the worst. Zero stars. Maybe that was the test.

Did you see Jennifer Lawrence at the Golden Gloves? You're like, you know, you just didn't make the cut. True. You got to be able to hang. To be fair, was that fashion police TV show? I don't know if you're familiar. First of all, you really are supposed to warn me before you say those words. Oh, please.

My whole job here is to trigger you. That's really good. That's what the people love. He's really good at it, man. Yeah. This now is a five-star review of Bistro Niko in a time. Atlanta, okay? And it has pictures. It's not one's worth sharing. I just, I'll talk about one of them. The staff was so understanding when I got stood up. They got me an amazing table. The service was

exceptional. I got checked on by the manager. Food was divine 10 out of 10. We'll do this again. And she posted a picture and she looks like so, like she looks so pretty like done up, you know. And I'm like, oh, that makes it so much worse. She has like a strand of pearls. That she has, yeah, that she took a selfie and a, I'm like, but she looks happy. I'm glad. Like, oh, it sucks. What a story, though, to be like, I got stood up, but like, what a time I had. Yeah.

I will say, there were a lot, when I was doing my search, there were a lot of five-star reviews. A lot of five-star reviews about getting stood up because that's, I mean, that's-life, baby. And that's not usually the restaurant's fault. So I think it makes sense that, like, depends on how the restaurant reacts, I suppose. And I believe, and I feel bad because I know we don't really say anymore who submitted the challenges and reviews because we get, or the, ideas on Patreon because we get a lot of mixed ones and different people suggest them. And multiple people suggest the same thing usually.

So we kind of stopped doing it. But whoever, I think whoever initially commented this challenge idea said where they review where they got stood up and blamed the restaurant. And I think I was like that's probably so impossible, like so hard to find. Like how would you? I see. I see. And meanwhile here I'm saying that it can't be the.

Yeah. Yeah. So I just was thinking it's probably, I'm sure it exists. Like the only time it was negative was when, I think was when they got stood up for by the service. By someone. Yeah. Like buy a service that they were paying for. Not like at a restaurant with like a date standing.

Yeah. Standing them up. Yeah. To stand someone up. That sounds so weird. It doesn't. Comment below on YouTube. Dot coffee that features.

Really? To me stand someone up? Whoa. To stand someone up. I would say. I've never said that. Okay. Maybe I have, but I don't think so.

I mean, I don't know that you have. I don't know if I've said it either, but it's. You've listened to me talk a lot. I'm just curious. I was just wondering if you knew. That's for sure. This is my last one. This is a five-star review of Bobby's Pizzeria in Los Angeles.

No, to get stood up at Bobby's. That's not even what happened. Lowest of the Low. That's not even what happened. This is a five-star review. I got stood up for a date and needed to eat pizza to cope. And this place was one of the only restaurants open at 2 a.m. I had a really pleasant meal by myself under the warm and cozy lighting.

My dad's name is Bob. So that was an extra level of comfort too. The pizza was delicious and the whole experience was peaceful. End of review. My goodness. Which you can't say that too often about a pizzeria at 2 a.m. New York. And also stood up like a booty call.

Like it's 2 a.m. Oof. Like is that what they meant by stood up? I mean, to be fair, this got to feel pretty bad. Yeah. Especially if you're staying up waiting for someone. Oh, no, that's bad. And now you're hungry.

And now you're hungry. That's terrible. Terrible. Because they were supposed to bring something for you to eat. But you tell me, in New York, the only place open is Bobby's Pizzeria. I assume wherever they are. Oh, this is Los Angeles. I forgot I said that.

In my head, I heard Pizzeria and switched it to New York. Okay, I was like, I don't- Los Angeles Pizzerias are not the same. Certainly not the same. But yeah, that's even, yeah, I feel like those would be even crazier in Los Angeles at 2 a.m. Because there's probably nothing else open, like you said. Yeah. But in certain spots, those New York Pizzerias at night are fucking.

can create, especially like college areas. I was going to say, I mean, I've been to enough college towns. I'm glad I was vegan there because I am someone who would love a dollar slice. Yeah. Like, Sabaros, anytime. Oh my God. That's the best New York pizza. For sure. Everyone knows. I'm not even joking. It's my favorite. Um, so yeah. My favorite's Bobby's Pizzeria. Oh, you do like Bobby's. The LA location. Okay, but don't. It's my favorite New York. After what Bobby did, I don't think we can support that. I know he stood you up, but it's like you have to get over it. He makes a good pizza pie. Ah, yeah, but you know what's crazy?

He stood me up at his own restaurant. That's what's crazy. I showed up at his restaurant and he wasn't even there. When he explicitly asked you not to. Look, it wasn't technically a restraining order. You can't fault the man for having boundaries. Bobby, if you're out there, I miss you. Everybody, thank you for listening.

Thank you for watching to those of you who watched. We appreciate you. Look, Gio's little head is here. excited. Oh yeah, because we got the pets too. Yeah. By the way, they have really serious behavioral issues lately because the weather is so cold. They're very needy. They've gotten really

outrageously obnoxious. Yeah, so now Gio's sticking his snout at me. I don't know if I've told you this yet, but we record with Ryan Bergara. And of course, Byron, Marin, our new friend, but Ryan's dog walked into the recording. Look at Gio's butt! Yeah, he's sitting on me.

Ryan's dog walked in and I was like, this is so surreal that, like, I'm just sitting here watching him try to kick his dog out of the studio. Oh, yeah, but I was also thinking, like, because he was apologetic. And it was like, if you saw any of us, like, when we recorded. Do you know what he actually said? He said, I'm sure you guys are really busy. And we laughed out loud. I said, who told you that? Where did you hear that? We are now. Surprisingly busy. A little bit more than usual, even though anyway, this is not interesting. All righty. Thanks everyone for listening. Bye. Beach Two Sandy Water Too Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Sheeper.

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