Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 389: Reviews of YMCA's

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

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Welcome to Beach, Too Sandy, Water, Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Two Sandy Water Too Wet. This is a podcast where we read the front of... Sorry, we're having technical difficulties. With my mouth. Yeah. Okay.

Let me unplug it, plug it back in. Okay. All right. What do we do again? We read one-star reviews of the most. Yikes. Oh, plug it in. Plug it in.

We're reading reviews of YMCA today. We read reviews, and I'm the sister host. Oh, yeah. I'm brother host. I'm Zandi. Hi. Hi. And we are going to read reviews of YMCA's.

And I'm so glad that that's happening. So, Alexander. Yes. Do you remember what happened when I went to a YMCA? I do. A pig was involved. Yeah, it was really crazy times. I went to the YMCA as part of a recovery journey in my life. And my mother said, well, I said.

That's the only thing that got her into a YMCA that she says, like she's acting. I mean, listen, it's been a very long time since I've been in any sort of physical endeavor. But I said, oh, Chi Gong, that sounds like fun. And I want to try that. So my mom and I went, and it is a whole deal of fun. And on the fourth week, our instructor said, I just want everyone to know that there will be a person in a pig costume joining us. And we will be on the local news. And that was really the only look.

I just thought. And my mom said, what did she say? And I was like, I don't, I'll tell you later. Like, I didn't really understand. And sure enough, yeah, about five minutes, 10 minutes in, this large pig costume wearing person came in. And did she gone with us? And of course, somebody filmed it. And of course, it was not on the news, but it was on the YMCA public Instagram page.

And there I am kind of just waving my energy around the room with this mascot. So, yeah, the YMCA, as of recently, holds a special place in my heart, I would say. We watched John Tim's birthday. Yeah. At the dinner table. It was actually really funny. It was good. Well, the wild thing was the music in the background, Alexander was like, is that actually what's playing?

And I was like, yeah, our instructor plays like this weird mix. of like just very soulful and then like some like Titanic soundtrack style stuff. Oh wow. Okay. So it was like I think. You got some ballads in there. Whatever you want, whatever that song is. Don't ask me. I've never seen Titanic.

Neither of you. Is that from Titanic? I don't know. I don't know what that is. My heart will go on. Oh, yes, it is. Okay. So that was the one that she was playing.

And it felt surreal as did most of my life. But yeah, YMCA is very special. And it is weird across the board, apparently. Yeah, there was a lot. I mean, for a place called a young men's Christian. association or whatever it is. I told you it would get a lot to get me into one of these places. That's a good, you know, I forget about that.

Yeah. I do forget about that. Okay, yes, we have reviews of YMCA. Not a one person in that class was a young Christian man or whatever the fuck. Yeah, they're really, the demographics changed, I think. Yeah, maybe. Just a little bit. At least the ones in Cincinnati, I wouldn't call any of them young.

What do I know about YMCA? Contextually, what do I know about a YMCA? I know too much after these reviews. And I'm going to start off with one. This was sent in by Boyd, She-Her. And this is a one-star review. Pool was too wet for me. Holy shit, it's happening.

Yeah. I tried to explain that title, our podcast title, to like three different people. And I said, you know, they said the water was too wet. And they're like, who did? And I was like, well, somebody did. Somebody. On the Internet. Turns out a lot of people say that.

Apparently, I see it a weird about it. And they didn't really believe me. And I was like, I swear to God. But, okay, so I have a review here. This one was sent in by Stephanie, and it's of the Westside YMCA titled Use the Elevator. It's a three-star review. This is West Side New York City. Ever heard of it?

Oh, but you meant why you literally thought you meant West Side of Cincinnati. Yeah, I know. Again, contextually, we're really lost in the sauce over here. Cricket says, I recommend the why if you're staying in New York on a strict budget. You get what you pay for. Community bathroom and small rooms, but it was decent. I went with a college group of friends back in 2004, and it worked out well. The bunk beds just weren't all that comfortable.

Great location, though. If you take the stairs at all, make sure the doors in the stairwell are unlocked. I tried to take the stairs, but for some reason, every door was locked except the one to the basement. Oh, no. The basement was a creepy place, complete with blankets all over the floor, and magazine pages of women were pinned to the walls where someone had been sleeping. End of review. Oh! That's where they keep the young men.

That's so creepy. Not the Christian ones. True. That doesn't sound like a very Christian behavior. Sounds a satanic dungeon to me. All those pinups. Are you kidding me? Pinups.

Sinful, lustful. God weeps. What else is new with that guy? I have a review also from Boyd. This is written by Mama Joe. One star. I can't even play basketball after school due to the freaking cheerleading team using a big court, then a school team.

The cheerleaders can move their match to the small courts. Let us hoop. Let us hoop. Join me, everyone. One person found itself. No, no, no. Two people hearted it, so. That feels demeaning.

That feels like the cheerleaders were like, aw. Aw. I love. Freaking cheerleaders. Let me hoop. First of all, if anyone should be using a YMCA, it's to hoop. Okay? Let's be real.

Amen. Yeah. Yeah. Hallelujah. And I think. I think I do like this passive aggressive behavior of like they can go somewhere else, but I'm going to tell them that on the internet. Yeah.

Not to their face. Yeah. I don't talk to cheerleaders. I would never. They wouldn't. They wouldn't even need it. They're the popular girls. Oh my God.

They make me so nervous. Okay. I think I'm projecting a bit. Anyway, here's a review from Grapefruit Street. And by the way, she said, I want to hear you pronounce this town. And I'm like, thanks. Uh-oh. It looks like Awatuki.

Awatuki Foothills family YMCA. I could see it being a Watuki. A Watuki. I could not. I simply couldn't. So, Grapefrews, tell me if that's right. I just wanted to guess something else because I want to be right. Tell me more so that if he's wrong.

I'm more concerned about that. Okay. Two story of you by Dawn. You can always tell when one of the older ladies is working at this Y. They switch off the rock music and put on this like female nap time music. It's hard to describe, but exactly the opposite of what you would want to hear while you try to do physical activity, L.O.L. God save us all. End of review. I think female nap time music is extremely good. It's extremely good. I'm going to make... I do, and I didn't think there was a genre. Yeah, there is now. Wow. Yeah. I will say gym music, though, it can be so hit or miss.

Near far. That is female nap time music. Holy shit. It is. It is. No kidding. I actually can listen to pretty much anything. But I prefer the like 2000s pop from like middle school dances.

If you're working out. If I'm working out. Okay. At the gym. Like at the gym. I don't know if I'd put that on in my headphones. But if I'm at the gym listening to whatever music they're playing, I prefer that kind of thing. You know what I want?

I want Kesha. No, I feel like what you want is like dire straits in your ears and then over. over top of it, Keshele-layered. Huh. I should try that. Yeah. That sounds pretty good. But on transparent mode.

Yeah, yeah. Like at the coffee shop the other day, I think they were playing Frank Ocean Radio. And it was a lot of, because it was a lot of Frank Ocean. And a lot of swear words. But he's in a lot of songs that are extremely inappropriate. Extremely. And I enjoy them. Look, they're not, maybe not for a young men's Christian association.

Exactly what I was. However, at the coffee shop. Or also not for that because there's so many, like, I was shocked. But I didn't have my headphones in because I was enjoying it. In the basement, though. The concept of a creepy YMCA basement. Something about that is like extra sinister. What?

It's like the hookup basement or something, it sounds like. All the blankets on the floor, the hookup basement. That sounds like a... Why do you think people go YMCA? Alexinner, a crude toilet in the corner and you say a hookup room? I was going to say that before you said crude toilet. No wonder you're single. For the record.

I bet they keep the pig costume down there. The person in the pig costume is probably down there. This is from Zoe Veshi. Oh, I love this, by the way. This is a quick note. It says, I nearly swerved off the road when my umbrella review was mentioned, and I am riding that high to this day. I was in a rental, too, because I'd already crashed my own car.

Hopefully also because of us. Oh, my God, I know. Okay, so here is a one-star review of the YMCA in, Irmo, South Carolina. Three stars. Swim lessons are affordable and staff is great. However, the pool is so cold that my son screams the whole time. He loves bath time, neighborhood pool, and lake time. End of review. Here's a response from owner. We're so glad to hear that you've had positive experiences with our swim instructors and affordable lessons. We understand that pool temperatures can be

a personal preference. Our pool is maintained between 80,000. and 84 degrees, and the air temperature is kept between 85 and 86 degrees. We apologize that this temperature is not ideal for your sun. Please feel free to reach out to our Aquatics Director for more information. Oh my gosh. You can find him in the basement. The Aquatics Director is fight the title. Please find your way to the basement.

And don't look back. Well, yeah, all the other doors are locked. You're not getting out of there. We'll put you in the stairwell. You'll find your way. Now that I'm thinking about it more, I wish we had a conclusion. What happened in that basement? And how did they get out?

Yeah, literally ended at, yeah, the only unlocked portion of this was the basement. And that part was really creepy. The end. Yeah. There was no closure. Yeah, that being the final point as just kind of a throwaway, like, oops. If you trace the IP address back, it goes right back to that basement. Oh, no.

You know, that's where he is now. Still there? On his little desktop computer. That was just sitting there. On top of it. Well, he's on the cruise. Toilet. Yeah.

Looking for a hookup. Oh. I have one here. This was sent in by Carrie. This is a two-star review. And this one is really weird. Oh. Because of the way that they,

the way they wrote it. Some of the words, they put them periods between them. So I'll give you an example. It starts out at the Y, quotations, now, but now is spelled N period O, period,

What? They are a period, R period. What? Okay. It doesn't make any sense. But okay. At the Y now, they are overrun with low-income kids programs. Oh, my.

Which is the worst complaint. Maybe you could possibly make about a YNCA. Y. Yikes. Like, that is one of the best parts, if not the best. That's the point. Of parts of a YNCA. I would argue.

Yeah. Are there programs? Okay, here we go. one would think that they could afford to keep the pool open for adults. The real estate in the area is also in debt with credit defaults due to crashed double value lending for homes, which are barely worth half the mortgaged value. Yuck. The exercise classes still don't even include Qigong, which is the most beneficial for all ages.

Yeah, you can tell this person is not doing any Qigong because, you know, the whole point of Chi-Gong is to just get your beautiful energy. flowing and this person is fucking blocked up. At the beginning, I almost said, this one reminds me of you. And then I remembered the beginning of it. And I thought, you know what? The first, like, four sentences are really terrible. And then it reminds me of you. And you know, I would never have let you get to that third sentence.

I would have been peppering you with questions. I would have been pissed. Yeah, she got, I mean. This person needs it. That's definitely what I was thinking. I was going to suggest they come to the, but imagine that pig walks in and they would just fly off the handle. This low-income pig.

This is like. The fact that it's... Oh, man. And the real estate around the property, like, go to a different one. Or just don't go to the fucking YMCA. Just get a life. What do you think it's there for? I don't know.

Not for you. Not for Chi Gong. Apparently. Madison. We've been waiting for this one. BHC. Sandy, Water 2Ed is sponsored by Zeni. And so are our new looks. Yeah.

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That's right. Yeah, because it's good to take care of those eyes. And honestly, this is the best, like, looking out into the world, sunglasses, if that makes any sense, like, through the lenses that I have. And so I've only been wearing these. Yeah, they've got over 150,000 five-star reviews. They've got some really fun styles. I got cute square ones too. They're an online eyewear shop.

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It's a really big problem when your tooth just kind of breaks in half like mine did a couple years ago. And then you realize, oh, I see. And then I put a little recorder and I was like, oh, that's bad. But Remy is one of our newest sponsors. And I was so delighted that like the day that the impression kit came, I sent it. I walked to the Met Walk sent it out. And the game changer for me, I just want to say real quick, is that they sent a top and a bottom one. And I've always used the top ones.

But the bottom one is the one that has helped the most with the grinding. And that's where my tooth broke. Yeah. So I'm just so thankful. That's great. Remy's awesome. I didn't even look at the copy yet, but I just wanted to throw that out there. Now, Alex Inner, take it away.

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I didn't even know that was an option. So I would recommend trying that if you've struggled with finding something that works for you as far as a night guard goes. Protect your teeth with Remy by using code beach to get fixed. 50% off your new nightguard with Remy Club, subscribe, and save. That's 50% off at shop, remI.com slash beach with code beach. Thanks, Remi, for sponsoring this episode. This is a one-star review sent in by Brad. Here it goes.

I am so mad because of the employee, Cody. Man face, mad face, mad face. This man said I was too short to go into the pool. People can swim, you know. It was also very disrespectful and very rude. Very many mad emojis and then a sad emoji. Oh. End of review.

Wow. They went through all the stages. Now, North Spokane, YMCA did have a rebuttal, a response. Oh, a rebuttal? No, a response. Oh, my goodness. That does not sound like a good day. I was surprised at the number of YMCA responses and the fact that the

they were actually unique to the places? Yeah, I think they really have like... It wasn't boilerplate? Yeah, I think they have like really actually staff writing these. I totally agree. Oh my goodness. That does not sound like a good day. We are so sorry you experienced that.

We would love to know where this took place as I contacted our human resources department and we don't have anyone named Cody on staff. And we couldn't find any record with the name of this account. Sometimes we use other names and we understand that. I would like to get to the heart of this situation. So if you get a chance, please give us a call. all thank you.

And I hope today has been a great day for you. End of review. Yeah, they probably keeping Cody in the basement. Oh my God. Cody who? I'll never get over that basement. That basement is like, sorry every review you read.

I'm like, how do I apply it to this basement that you told me about? Wow. Anyway, I do love that they're like, there is no Cody here. Cody who? We tried finding him, but he's missing. That's actually what Brad said in the email.

It was like, some say people are still trying to find Cody to this day. Well, Brad, we don't hesitate at all to inform you that he's in the basement. Go find him. So sorry. Go find Cody. Rescue Cody. At least it's really sexy down there, according to Alexander.

It is. Oh, my God. You can't stop thinking about it. I can't. I can even hear all the Titanic music playing as if I know what that is. You mean female Nat music radio on Spotify? Swain Dion. Yeah.

There was a lot of Whitney Houston. There's also like ballads, but then also there's a lot of like 90s R&B. Okay. And I was a bit disappointed that. I wasn't playing because that would have set a cooler tone than me going like. Like this wall like fucking Selenia on his. Like, I mean, really, they could have picked a cooler moment. Yeah, probably.

Oh, yeah, really? There were cooler moments for you? I don't think so. Yeah, there were. You'll never know there was a part. I said to myself, oh, I'm looking good right now because I can tell how angular my arms are. Oh, is that what you go for? And my mom said, didn't you feel in that one pose like they should use this moment?

And I said, yeah. And she said, but didn't you know in that one moment when our arms moved that they were going to use that? And I said, I did know. I felt it in my bones as my, because we both didn't know what we were supposed to be doing. And of course, so we looked the most ridiculous. That's impressive. But you looked the most ridiculous when there was someone in a pig costume. That's so sad.

We can share that video. That video is going to get a lot of views because I also mentioned this on my other show. And I feel like the YMCA is going to be like, why is this what's happening? Yeah. I won't look again. I know. I'm done with it. I know.

Here's a review sent in by Just Jen, a one-star review. YMCA, what does the YM stand for? Your mom! Oh, yeah, maybe. Your mom's Christian association. YMCA, what does the YM stand for? Yet there were no young men here. Just people who look at you funny when you walk in.

I'm not talking about the employees either. end of review. What could it mean? Like it's a cult, it sounds. People look at you funny? I will say when I first went to the gym. Who wrote that? Parker Pee.

Pee Pee wants to be looked at by a bunch of young men is what you're saying? Yeah. Where are all the men to look at me? Yeah. Good question. I went to the gym and I will say I did feel like I had a lot of eyes on me, but it worked out because I couldn't figure out how to make the treadmill work. And some guy comes up behind me

And I was like, need some help? And I was like, yes, please. And this man helped me. And then like started talking. He's like, oh, you can turn on the TV because each one had a TV. Like, they were nice treadmills. It was like a touchscreen treadmill. And I had to touch the treadmill screen to like wake it up.

And then I could select to make it go. And I was like hitting other buttons. And I was so mortified in the moment. unnecessarily, but I was so, I had this feeling of like, I cannot leave this treadmill until I figure this out. If someone watches me sit there for five, stand there for five minutes. I was like, well, if you were sitting on that, that might have been the first mistake. Like I was, I felt so defeated. I just flop down. I was like, I'm so done. I won't leave this spot until I figure it out. But no, he came up and I was glad he was watching me because,

but then I thought, how long was he watching me? And is he Christian? Is he Christian? Yeah. You'd think we had some sort of religious issues growing up the way you said that. Weird. That's weird. Here's a review of that same YMCA. This is, again, from Brad, and it's a one-serview by Jonah. Lifeguard ripped my child out of the sauna and hit my poor little baby over the head.

What? Never coming back. Fire Cody. Not a... Are you kidding me? Is it the same place? Yeah. A bunch of mad thumbs down and then four dog emojis.

And then again, I forgot to mention this. in the last one, that the YMCA did react to both of these with the mind-blown emoji, which just is like so embarrassing now that I'm realizing this is like a troll thing, I think. I don't know. Cloudsy, this is the response from YMCA. That's not their name anymore. It's Jonah, but I think probably back then that was their name. Cloudsy, we are investigating this update.

We do not have any members of staff named Cody, even as a nickname. What is Cody short for? Codine. Hydrocodone Oxycodone Oh wait, no. I'm like, what word has a C, an O and a D in it? Cod.

Cod. Cod. Atlantic Cod. Our Cod. Atlantic Cod. We do not have any members of Staffney and Cody even as a nickname. Leadership has inquired of all our lifeguards

and no one recalls an incident in the sauna. The leadership team at the branch would very much like to connect with you to better understand. Please contact Jeff. End of response. And I'm like... That is an alarming review to write. I know.

A member of your staff hit my baby over the head. And that's like clearly why I'm like this is... It seems like a child. And exactly, like some sort of middle school or... Like all a bunch of emojis. They're probably mad at the fucking cheerleaders and taking it out on the Spokane YMCA. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's a good point.

Here's a one-star review written by John Doe, sent in by Stacy. John Doe. Okay, that's like, if you're going to pick a fake name, okay, sure. Here we go. The president of the YMCA is very rude and inconsiderate. My family had our membership removed and told not to go back to the Ewing pool because we reported someone for verbally abusing my child. He didn't care to hear what happened.

All he kept repeating is, it takes two to tango. Nasty attitude, end of review. To be fair, like nothing would infuriate me more if I were having a disagreement. with someone and they just kept saying it takes two to tango. I would be like that is one of those like talk about pressing your butt someone's buttons. Like that would piss me off. It takes two to tango is probably the most infuriating thing I've ever heard. And then they kicked them out of those.

You're not allowed to come back. I will say based on reviews I read and responses I read, I would lean towards if someone's membership were revoked, they probably did something to do. deserve it. I don't know. Based on everything I write, I'm like, I can't imagine that's an easy thing. Revoking a YMCA member. To happen. Like to get to happen. Yes, it's meant to be very accessible to people. And I feel that if you're really banned from the place, like, you're probably not a good fit. And trust me, I know people at the Y, and they are personalities. And I imagine lots of them, or at least the stories I hear from our mother and her pool friends, I imagine they have done something.

worthy of being at least scolded, but I don't know of any stories of someone's membership being revoked. Well, that's because it takes two to tango. It does take two to tangle, yeah, yeah. How many does it take to Chi Gong? Okay, she just whispered to me. Someone we knows membership was revoked. We've got breaking news.

We actually do know. Yep, we do actually have an acquaintance whose membership was revoked. Yeah. But please do not ask for any details. Maybe the least surprising one. Yeah. But it's the one we would have guessed. Okay, here is a review sent in by Riannon.

Sheher called Attention. Fox has entered the chat. By the way, do you want to know something that is like really mortifying? And I fear sharing this will like maybe make me look like a fool or both of us. Do you realize that Foxy is like supposed to be like Foxy? I have seen someone say that. People have said that. It's the more I think about it, the more I go, oh my God, Foxy.

He's saying he's saying Foxy. I think. I really think. That is very on brand. And the joke is like, oh, Yelp has your first and last initial. First name last initial. So he was probably like, oh, Foxy. And I just, we call him Fox. Which is like so silly.

Yeah, it is silly. And it did take someone pointing that out to me for me to realize. I did not realize that for the longest time. Yeah. So I do apologize for not realizing that sooner. But thank you to the people who pointed that out. We've got a review of a YMCA here by Fox. Fox E, if you will.

Foxy loves working out. See, he wrote that. True. So it feels like, okay, now I can understand. Sorry, Riannon wrote this. This is before the review. You see, the review is, wow. Okay, here we go.

Let me say this again. Foxy loves working out at the YMCA, he's known to flounce about. And when you think you've seen enough, Fox chose you some sexy stuff. I love it. And then she wrote parentheses, he loves to post. his workout picks. So there is evidence to back this up. He loves to post himself flexing in front of a home goods.

And we never thought about Foxy. Like, I know. We have a problem. His shoe thing, you know, like, oh, man.

It's a way inadvertently for us to get engagement. It's people being like, hey, idiots. Yeah, and one or two people kindly responded. That's all that happened. So I would come over to your place.

You have a four-year-old. It's kind of. chaotic, but I will say, for some reason, you've been more on top of things, despite the chaos, not really stopping. You know what's so funny is, I don't know if you've noticed my beautiful mantle. I put this beautiful papyrus poster I got in Egypt, and then underneath it on the mantle itself is my glorious skylight calendar, and it's just right there on the mantle. Oh, it's not over there. I'm just visualizing it by mind. I was going to say. You keep looking over there. It's not over there. It's downstairs on display for the world because it really has changed. changed my way of keeping tabs on things. Having everything in one place, all of our calendars together, and it looks really nice too, especially on my Egyptian mantle. But I want to add as well, I'm really excited for when Leona gets a little older and can use the chores part and the like

tasks and being able to get her included in it because I think that's like also a great way for her to help out when it comes to managing, you know, our day-to-day stuff. Also, what I really like is how quickly and easily it synced with my calendars. Yes, yes, yes. It syncs with Google, Apple, Outlook, and more. So it's very convenient. And like customizable, yeah. Yeah.

So like I changed something on my phone and I was in front of my calendar and I saw something pop up and like, oh, it changed immediately. So nice. I was like, oh, that's amazing. Families are better when they're working together. Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to my skylight.com slash beach. Go to my skylight.com slash beach for $30 off your 15-inch calendar.

That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-G-H-T dot com slash beach. I have three pets. I would do anything for them, but sometimes, man, when a bill comes in for a really silly thing that one of these little boys has done, it hurts, okay? And that's why we're so, so honored to have a quick message for you today from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health. insurance program.

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Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCApet Insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. So now let's get to the actual YMCA review by Fox, Elite 2026. Obviously, we knew that, but just an update for all of it.

of Fox. But we didn't know that because he hadn't posted since like December. Oh, wait. I guess you do get it early, though, I think. Oh, okay. I feel like that's a thing. But I, you know, it's been a while since I've been on Yelp. Well, this one's over six years ago.

So let's see. Four stars of the West Cabarris, YMCA. I was going to give a more scathing critique, but I'm a little M. Cabarris to be too mean. It's in Concord, but it may as well be in Discord, really. So I think this YMCA is really good in some ways, but less good in others. The front desk is really friendly, and the cardio has Netflix and had my sign in details, so that was good. On the other hand, they have big Jesus posters on the wall, and putting a banner in the cardio is lame.

And there are a few issues such as the kids coming around cleaning the machines in the middle of my workout. And they were spraying their bottles and sweeping up dust. And literally, I could smell the dust, made me sneeze, almost coughed during cardio. And literally, I got sprayed, ew, with a little bit of spray, ooh. But that's not the kid's fault because they are being instructed. to do so by the boss here, who was following them around, ordering them to clean more. They should be doing that when no one is working out, because that's why we pay more than enough, and that stuff is toxic AF, and it shouldn't be sprayed near me, let alone making me wet from spray during my cardio.

On the good side, though shower pressure is a huge thing, and I appreciate that, even though a lot of the lockers are disappointingly reserved for members. It could easily have received a three-star for the religion in my face and spray on my body and dust up my nose, but I'll generously give for because it was an otherwise good facility. I hope this review wasn't too M. Cabarrisoning for them. End of review. And then classic, we have the Snapchat pictures that he often

like tag. And so this one is a Snapchat picture of, what is this? Eliptical and it's ups up of exercise daily, walk with Jesus, like right above this. Because at my YMC, I don't see that anything like that.

Yeah, no, not a one downtown. Interesting. And then, of course, he wrote a caption here. Well, the one downtown is not my YMCA. No, no. I just want to make that clear. I said the downtown one neither. Oh, I didn't hear the neither.

Okay. Oh, here we go. Oh, no face pick, though. No face. Just the arm. And it is an arm. It's not just the arm. It's also a little bit of that, like, low back, like, curve.

And it says heavy use of irony. And yes, I'm a little heavy myself. All that muscle. There it is. There it is. We're not going to post these. With that hair and those muscles. I mean, foxy, foxy, foxy, foxy, foxy.

Like, and. I've been saying it. Hey, if I looked like that, which I'm close. You are almost there. I'm almost there. Yeah, I'd be... Snapchat and up the storm. All the time.

All the time. Yeah. I have a review here. It's a one-star review sent in by Stacy. And I'm just going to read like the first short couple sentences. Okay. Please do not let your children go to this daycare. I know for a fact they bully your children and throw the poor kids around like their hamburger.

What? Cody! And I think this was, I think Stacey said this was like the Pittsburgh area and was like, is this a saying? Is that a thing? I don't think so. Like I'm picturing that gross, like, remember like you'd like. Like flipping them like a patty or something, maybe. Oh, I was thinking like when you shape them like with your bare hands is so nasty. Yeah, like a like pizza dough between your hands, but it's fucking beef.

But raw meat, ground beef. Oh, but I see what you're saying. The flipping makes more sense. I don't know. I just made that up though. So who knows. I will say they accuse them of terrible, not that. I mean, like, similar, like, yelling at kids, et cetera. And the YMCA, oh, Beaver County, YMCA responded and said all of our daycare employees, like, they are, they said they are the largest providers of child care in Beaver County. And they were like, we take this very seriously. We, we do background checks, fingerprinting, all sorts of stuff. And they were like, this has not been a thing. So we don't, like basically saying, this isn't right.

Just because that one counselor has a spatula for a hand, doesn't mean you can say that he treats the kids like hamburger meat. That's really fucked up. That's pretty rude. Yeah. What was he called? Ham slinging. Slasher. Yeah.

Hash sling and slashing. Okay. I can't say it. Okay. And that's my last one. So I think we're on to your challenge. That was a good theme, though. Yeah, that was fun.

There's so many weird ones. Well, I see it was like an easy one. I love an easy theme. where it feels like we have 100 more already emailed that we could do, like 10 more episodes. Speaking of which, we are behind on our Patreon bonus, but we are going to post multiple bonuses this month because of that. So if you want to go watch bonus content, we're going to post extra reviews. And we just kind of have a goofball time over there.

So go to patreon.com. And it's May 2nd. And I was like, did we post an April bonus episode? No. Because it felt like we did. I said we just did. It was for March. April went really fast for some reason.

I don't know what happened. So, yeah, so sorry. That is not what we want to do. That's Alexander's fault, as usual. Yeah, my Patreon is at the mercy of my mental health, unfortunately. Yeah, and that's what you sign up for. That's part of the waiver you sign up for. Don't worry, I just saw my psychiatrist.

So by the time this episode comes out, hopefully I'm doing much better and Patreoning up a storm, as I like to do. I'm feeling well. I posted a few times. I'm trying. This is very exciting, okay? I have a challenge today, and it was the challenge because you don't know my challenge yet. I forget.

Well, no, you don't know it. Oh, I thought I assigned one to this. I thought we were assigning them. You could have, and maybe you did, but I didn't. I'm pretty sure I did, but okay. What was it? I don't remember. Okay, well, now it's self-help.

Now it's bad self-help. Okay. Okay, so my challenge today was to find reviews where people complained about self-help books that did less than help, I guess, is maybe a way to put that. Unhelpful. Unhelpful. Non-helpful. Yeah, exactly. So the first one I have is from just Jen Sheher, and it is of the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Do you remember this book? Yes. It's very like 90s to me. But I feel like the only reason I remember it is I feel like we talked about it on the show at some point. Oh, did we? I'm pretty sure we did. I don't know why. I feel like that's always when I saw it like Barnes & Noble, you know, when you're walking around and it's. I was just at St. Vincent DePaul, the thrift store.

Yeah. And I was looking at the books. There were so many like that. Oh, yeah. It was either that or like really religious ones. And then about 15 books that were from the same series. And each one was a different dog. And they were thick.

Like one would just say border collie on the side. Oh, it was just about the breed. I didn't take them out. They were all together a big set of like 15 books. Oh, wow. All with each one with a different dog. How much did they cost? I did not even check.

Wow. but I imagine not too much. But I looked especially because the kinds of things you'd see donated are, in my mind, books about lighthouses, like random coffee table books. Sure, yeah. Or something that an old person would have. niche interests. And I didn't find any. I'm sorry.

I'm sad. That's okay. I don't need any more. I have quite the collection. This is a two-star review by Scott of Rich Dad Portad. 16 years ago, I met some people who read this book and put its lessons into practice, getting out of the rat race and into business for themselves,

looking to move into the world of big deals and financial freedom. They even had this guy's board game. Cash flow, get out of the rat race. Wow. How boring. How boring. Come over for game night. Also, that's basically the game of life.

It's the rat race until you retire. It sounds like what you would play if you invited your friends over for an ML for a pyramid scheme party. Okay. You know, like while we're here talking about Amway, let's also play this fun game I have called Cashflow, get out of the rap race. It's sort of like the game of life, but better.

It's like, oh, like, who wants to be my downline? Oh my God, I love that. Now over a decade and a half later, their lives have been transformed. Their businesses have failed and they live in a van. Oh, my God. What the fuck? That's not to say there's no useful advice in rich dad, poor dad, but there's also some that seems pretty get rich quick.

And I would read more widely if you want to learn about investing, creating wealth, and establishing a solid financial future. I would agree. I think regardless, probably should not just read that book. Yeah, I mean, I don't necessarily think it's fair to say those people only rather, you don't know. You know, they know. Yeah, true.

A little judgmental. Maybe that one helped them, but then they were deceived by another book. Oh my God. That's probably well. happened. They probably read a book about van life or saw those TikToks and we're like, this is a great idea. Probably saw that border collie book it. Oh, true. And they're like, how would a border collie live? Oh, in a van. Oh. And it's a post in the thread best sales slash marketing book you've ever read. This is in the insurance forums.com. Really just want to just die thinking about this, but that's okay.

So there are 10 some plus pages of just what book is your favorite, okay? So one of the, one of the responses was the best book they ever read was, how about this oldie? How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. Okay? Classic. Here's a response. I think this book ruined my life.

Either that or I've been trying to apply it incorrectly for a whole bunch of years. Maybe I should go back and read it again. End of, no. Don't read it again if it didn't work the first time and you have no friends years later and have influenced no one. Yeah, this book. This book didn't work at all.

Maybe I need to give it another chance. I don't think that's true. There's so many other books you can read. But they said this book didn't work at all. Maybe it's because I'm doing it wrong. And I'm like, it's like, this title is pretty clear. And if I didn't do it, it must be my fault.

I guess so. I mean, I see why this person is not influencing people. Good point. Good point. Beach 2 Sandy Water Tuet is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies.

The process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary not available in all states. This is from Denny, Heim, and it's a review from Amazon of a self-help workbook called Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life, The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. One Star by Paula, and it's called Unhelpful.

Completely unhelpful. I worked through this with a counselor, not alone, but I still thought it was a waste of my time and money. It contains irrelevant activities, like repeatedly asking you how to use a toothbrush and a lighter as a screwdriver. What? Repeatedly asking you? Why?

And together or separately? I don't know. You have to form the toothbrush into a screwdriver by melting one end of it. And then they ask you again. What's this book called? Get out of your mind and into your life, the new acceptance and commitment therapy. Who in their mind is like, I need to get out of here by learning how to make us or to use a toothbrush and the lighter as it? I mean, it sounds like, shunuch.

Sounds like, yeah, how to get out of prison. Maybe that's... That's a chapter. Oh, my God. No, maybe that's what it is, but it's like one of those books that's like, it has a different cover on it. And then you get in the prison library. And it's a secret code on how to get out. Get your lighter.

It doesn't sound like a secret code. It sounds pretty clear. Love that it's a workbook, too. You have to work through it. And she worked through with a counselor, and it kept asking. Okay. It contains irrelevant activities. It's like repeatedly asking how to use a toothbrush.

It sounds like they don't know. Yeah, why are they asking you? There's so much here to be confused over. The readings make you even more depressed by telling you that there are no useful coping skills and that life is all of suffering. Jesus. This is the kind of therapy I do to myself when I don't have a therapist. Like melt shit in your house and feel the thing. Flick a lighter and tell myself that there's nothing worse.

There's no escape. There's no possible escape. Wow. Then the last slide is this seems like the exact opposite of therapy. Okay. Good observation. It's called the new acceptance. So maybe it's just about accepting your life in prison?

I'm sorry. What? I don't get it. None of this goes together. You have to read the pages out of order to make the guidebook makes sense on how to get out of person. It's a secret. But I will say, when I'm extra depressed, you know, it's hard to take care of myself, including brushing teeth. So in those moments, I'm like, I need another use for my toothbrush, obviously.

I guess I better build some IKEA furniture. That's not going to happen. In my manic state, I bought a new couch that doesn't fit anywhere. Might as well put that together. Might as well melt my toothbrush. Yeah, sure. Okay, this is my last one. It's also from Denny, He, Him, and this is just a silly one.

It's of the psychology of money, timeless lessons on wealth, greed, and happiness. And the review simply says, I wasted money on this book. It doesn't relate to money management. It seems to just be ramblings of a writer. What a waste of $10. End of review. And that's a verified purchase. Oh, no.

Timeless lessons on wealth, greed, and happiness. Oh, no. Timeless. You should never title your self-help book timeless. Never call it timeless. There's no way. Imagine a self-help book from the early 1900s. There's no faster way to become completely obsolete, I would argue, than to say I'm timeless and constantly relevant.

Back then it was like, did they even have toothbrushes? I don't know when toothbrushes. Can't melt a stainless steel toothbrush, which is what we now use in the futuristic year of 26. That's a great idea. Because they realized you could break out a prison like that. And so they said, so they gave you a stainless steel? Because you can't melt it. Well, that's going to turn into it.

Yeah, you can't melt it. No, you need jet fuel and you can't get that in prison. Well, that's why there's volume two. Oh. It's called Border Collies. And if you find that in the prison library, you got to read from page 3 to 33, then 16 to 28, and then you'll find out. Wow. That makes a lot of say.

I need to go back for that book, I guess. Too late. What? You miss your chance. No. I'm going to be stuck in here in my mind forever. I can't screw drive my way out of my book. brain. I could get a lobotomy with my new toothbrush screwdriver. Oh, maybe that's,

maybe it was a mental health self-help book. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, how to stab yourself in the brain. Oh, Jesus Christ. Life is full of suffering. I'm unwell right now. Thanks for being here, I guess. Thank you for watching and listening. If you're a young Christian man, please pray for us. Please, we need it. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week if you want to find more content in the meantime, you can follow us on Beachu Sandy's Patreon. You can follow us on socials, which is also Beachy's Handy, and otherwise, we'll be around just waiting in our basement until they let us back out. You are not invited into the basement when I'm there. Uh-uh. But I brought up to my toothbrush. Christina, the toothbrushes down there are used for very different activities than screw driving.

I would never go into your hookup room. That's disgusting. Get me out of there. I mean, you are screwing something, but it's not any nail. Wait, you don't screw drive nails anyway. Is that why? Is that why what? Your couch is broken. Because I don't have

a toothbrush screwdriver or of activities. Because he turned to screw drive nails with your toothbrush. Oh, yeah. Let's hang up. Beach 2 Sandy Water 2 Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Sheeper.

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