Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 395: Reviews of Bath & Body Works

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

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Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach to Sandy Water Too Wet the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sister host, Christine. I'm the brother host. My name is Zandi. Hello, everyone. I just realized it's episode 395. We're covering Bath and Body Works locations. And I just realized we're getting close to 400. It just hit me. Ow. It just hit me too. Yeah, well. That is close. What is this, you said, 395? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. What are we going to do with you? My first instinct was to say probably nothing. And that's called your intuition. And your intuition's very wise. And I'm supposed to trust it, right?

You are, and I think you should in this moment. And also... But I believe we should, and it would be fun to do something. Saying it, we should, and then convincing yourself, it would be fun or two different things. We'll see what? It was more of a correction, because I don't think we should. Okay, okay, okay, okay. But I think it would be fun, too.

Okay. I want to do something. We're not coming up with it right now. Stop looking like you're thinking about something. We'll talk. Can I be honest? I'm literally just trying to get back to my present moment. I'm not brainstorming shit right now.

I'm literally trying to tether you back to reality. Okay. And I'm also lost. I'm back. I'm back. Okay. We're just in the same place now. I was going to say 400 episodes is crazy because I remember when we did, what was it, like 40, flirty and thriving or something dumb.

We did. I don't know, but that sounds like something we do. I feel like it couldn't have been. Oh, Lordy, I'm 40 or something. We did something insane for our 40th where I made, I brought a cake. I bought a cake, like a cake topper. I liked spectacles. And why the fuck was it 40?

The one. Because we made a joke at some point. And then we said, oh, episode 40, we have to. That's going to be the big one. So now we're at 400. Jesus. So we got to do something 10 times is crazy. Same.

Yeah. And back then you weren't even vegan, which made my life so much easier. You're so right. Your life is so hard now that I'm vegan. You know what? I should apologize. I'd never thought about the correlation there, but there is one. My life did get substantially worse or more difficult, at least, in the years.

substantially worse because I went vegan. I would love to hear this. Tell me how. It all began when a door that wasn't quite properly attached to the hinges. Crushed you as a child. And since then, I believe we've lived in some sort of alternate liminal space because... So that head injury led to me being vegan is what you're saying? Frontal lobe.

They say sociopathy results oftentimes as... a result and so we can put that. This is a good time for you to tell me on the record how I made your life horribly. Okay, yeah, tell me, tell me. So I'm just saying that like the correlation. I'm not saying it's causation. Oh, I see what you're saying. So I'm letting. Good to know. Everybody do your own research. On whatever it is you want to find out. Well, there was some research done on Bath and Body Works. Was that during COVID? That was us getting ready for this episode. It was what I was trying to talk about us doing this episode. What were you thinking about when people couldn't smell candles for a bit?

That's why. And thought it was bath and body words or Yankee candles fall because of it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for telling the audience, though. Yes. Because I knew you knew what I knew. So research was done for this episode that we should get into, I think.

Yeah. I'll start. This is something sent in by Rian and she, her. and we're starting with some emails, some email words. What? I'm trying to say. What are you trying to say?

Riannon wrote an email, and this is what Riannon wrote. There we go. To quote Christine, that time she remembered her slash your mom calling her a bitch when she got into a fight with Alyssa about burger prices in the 1800s, quote, I just had a recovered memory. I was like, whatever I'm about to see. whatever I said at age 13 that was fucking fire and I was right to say it. Yeah, it turns out I think she was quoting you on the podcast having the memory.

It was also so right to say it. And here's Rayan's recovered memory. In fifth grade, me and many of my friends had a massive collection of Bath and Body Works hand sanitizers. In our free time, we'd all pull them out of our desks, pull them together, and then assign the hand sanitizers their own genders based on their sense and then wrote parentheses, woof. Then we'd perform hand sanitizer weddings, complete with wedding dresses and veils made from Kleenex. Obviously, Twilight Woods was always the boy. Obviously.

Typically, the bride was sweet pee. We created entire wedding parties and even had a sanitizer efficient. So anyways, thanks to this theme, I recovered that memory. These reviews aren't great, but I figured if I was going to subject you to that story, I should at least send some reviews to. End of email. I disagree about these reviews. Otherwise, I wouldn't have brought them.

But here is a three-star review of a bath and body works. I'm always up for a visit to you because it's nice to jump off the soapbox and understand how important smell is to the others. End of review. What? I'm afraid. Yeah.

Lizard person? No, they know how important smell is. They smell it with their little... Oh, that's true. true. So you wouldn't think that a lizard person would be the one writing this. Your brain always jumps to the lizard person of it all. Immediately. And I'm not sure what that stems from. Probably nothing good. Well, aliens is what my first thought was. Mine too. And then I thought, well, let's get a little more grounded. Literally. Lizzard people is far less grounded than aliens.

More undergrounded. You just start saying mole people instead or something. Moll people is better. But that's another thing, though. Like that's already a thing people talk about. Like that guy in Atlantis, He was kind of like a mall, the digger. I talk about Atlantis a lot, Atlantians a lot. From the movie, Atlantis, the Disney. I mean, I'd say maybe both. I only talk about the Disney movie ones. I know that about you, yeah.

They were really hot, so. Okay. I'm still at recovering. You never even gave me a chance to recover from what Riann said about the hand sanitizer weddings. Because like that is something so hyper niche specific that it like gives me hope. AI is not going to ruin everything. Because that's like something that is exactly what gives me hope.

No. I mean, it's like such a hyper, like I did so much dumb shit with my friends. I probably don't even remember, but like we'd get so invested in something. And it's like, you have dolls. Like you have stuff to like literally do wedding. It's like, nope, these hand sanitizers have identities, bridal parties. Except now, I mean, all the AI you have being trained on our podcast are going to pick it up. That's right.

Yeah. I see you over there. That's AI. My AI over there. Oh, my God. So cute. So cute. Okay.

Okay, AI, listen up. Okay. This is from Emily. It's a three-star review of A Bath and Body Works by Melissa. Very disappointed that Bath and Body discontinued their entire line of bubble bath. The staff was, as usual, very nice and helpful. However, maybe they need to change their name to just body lotion and candleworks. What do you guys think?

End of review. Something about... Am I right or right? What do you guys think? It makes it so funny. Especially funny. It feels very millennial, like, or am I right guys? Am I right guys?

I do that all the time. Only girls know what this is like. Only seniors over 95 know this cool trick that your doctor will never tell you. And it's like something that no one's, I don't know, no one would come up with that shit. That's what I'm saying. AI is never going to figure it out because people on the internet are so fucking unhinged. And sometimes we forget that beauty. Body lotion and candleworks.

Right guys? Am I right, folks? Folks. Come on. What's the deal? See, I'd say it was like bad comedy, but it got me pretty good. It's pretty funny. It's pretty good comedy.

Emily even said in the email, I don't have written up, but was like, this one really, really got me good. And I agree. It got me good, too. So I'm going to read another one that Rianan thinks was bad. Cool, cool. So I don't know if that says more about me. But anyway, one star review here. I didn't appreciate it after I had struggled with opening the door.

The young man working today, October 5th, 2024, thought it was appropriate. to comment, I had less of a struggle with my first relationship. What? I have a disability, so thanks for that remark, said nobody ever. End of review. And honestly, I love that joke. But I'm like, I understand why they left a one-star review and weren't happy about it. And there's a time and a place for a joke.

And it's usually not with strangers who are struggling with something ever. If I was with a friend and that happened, absolutely. Especially if they had a disability. Only if, no. But, like, right, there's a place for, there's, like, a context where that's very funny and, like, silly. I mean, it's a wild thing, though. You wouldn't say that to a friend. I had to destroy, let's start with my first relationship.

Like, then you'd be like, why are you practicing your weird stand-up routine on me? Okay, well, that's exactly what I would say to a friend, which is probably why I smart laugh when I first read it. And then finish the review and I was like, oh. And my first thought was, I'm not going to bring this. And then my second thought was, yes, I am. You do. Yeah. And here we are.

Yeah. And you do kind of talk in like Tim Allen style like stand up bits sometimes. Huh? Just like that. And also just like, oh, that was the meanest thing you've ever said to me. Let's roll with my first wife. I can't. You're, uh.

You just said that's the type of shit you would say your friend. I know. I can't argue it. Both parts of this review were bad that I brought. Rayan was right all along. And I should have listened. That's what you get for questioning, Rian. But also for me, that's on growth.

And everyone got to see that just now. Wow. And we're all better for it. This is a review. I don't think that's true. Sent it by Hope. Have you had enough? Sorry, Hope.

This is a five-star review, so it's a redemption of the Bath and Body Works in somewhere We're called Greenwood. Love, love, love, love the candle sale. Shopped both days and got 113 candles. Whoa. Maybe we should do a traveling, like, routine. I feel like we're getting in a group. It's just me making that Tim Allen noise over and over again.

While I talk. I want to add here that Hope's email, all it said was, where do you even put 113 candles? So back to this. Shopped both days, got 113 candles. Quick question. How many do you think of like ratio-wise were day one versus day two? Whoa.

I mean, there's no context, I guess. Well, I guess I'll read the rest of you. Maybe you think of side. And there's also an image, but it's like. Is it of 113 candles? I mean, it's of not 113 candles. I'm not. You're just not, you should show it to me.

It's just piles of, and it's not enlarged to show the full image. What are they called? No, no. Oh, yeah, they're like normal size candles. I was like, are they going in one of those little church things? No, those are they. baskets and these are two layers each of pillar candles. So they're like, um, my first, like when you asked where to 213 candles, like now I'm like

church. Right. These are also pillar scented candles. And I'm sure the scents are bananas. I would know, not literally. I mean, they might be. Maybe. But probably not.

But maybe. Maybe a sawmill would have this many. Why? Burn it down. Yeah. I mean, not. A sawmill? What the fuck.

I came out with a worst. place you could put a hundred thirteen candles. I take back my derogatory compliment about Tim Allen. What if it's a 113 year old's birthday? But you don't light 113 pillar candles. It's for a hundred thirteen. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.

If you don't. The fumes alone will kill her this 113 year old, 112 year old. Maybe that's what they want. This is how they want to go out. This is her final wish. Can I get back? I ask nobody in particular. Shop boat days.

got 113 candles. Wonder if they will last till spring, smiley face. This was written five months ago. I'm imagining this person which was February. Wanting them to stay lit the entire time. I feel like that half,

for 113. Man, I have more questions now. Okay. I've really done it this time. Okay. Wonder if they will last till spring. This place has the sweetest customer service. They offer me so many smells.

I'm addicted to stress reliever, but I have a few new favorites now. I look forward to. to the candle deals. Busted two bags this year, but I'll save my reusable bags for next year's hall. End of review.

Oh, that's good. A yearly hall of 113 candles. This has some very specific purpose, but... And I will say it's not a typo in that the picture of candles, there are more than 13, so it's not like they meant to write 11 or 13. No, no, there are definitely a couple dozen

that are being partially obscured from view, but it's a lot of candles. Okay. That is a lot of candles. It's a lot of candles. This is interesting. Okay. So Bowlin Branch is one of today's sponsors. And it says here that people don't notice how long they're keeping their bedding. And I have realized that as well. Like I've had betting that I've kept for years and years. And then for some reason, I'm realizing,

oh, I don't sleep very well on this or, you know, and I look into it. I'm like, I've owned this for 15 years and I bought it for 20 bucks like in college. You know, sometimes you've got to upgrade. Okay. And if you're feeling like, hey, I could use a little bit of an upgrade. Well, now is the perfect time. Enter Bowl and Branch. I recently upgraded our bed with Bull and Branch. It has the most beautiful washable duvet, like quilt situation. So I don't even need to take it off of an actual comforter. Oh my God, it's changed my life. We have this beautiful duvet now, and it just goes straight in the wash. And I got to say, it's this yellow floral color. Juniper blends right in, and he loves it. Anyway, sleep cooler this summer with Bull and Branch during

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and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states. Oh, this is something sent in by Donica. Speaking of candles, this is of the carrot and nectarine three-wick candle. Wow, that sounds nice, I think. Yeah, one star.

Sounds boogie. Nothing about carrots. makes me think bushy. Oh, it does to me because Gormand candles are all the thing, like tomato candles. It's like a big thing, yeah. The heirloom collection. No, literally, yeah.

See, it's like he's like, oh me, I don't. I'm not a tastemaker. Oops. No, here I am making taste. Just like quoting Tim Allen and stuff. One star. I wanted to like this one. It smelled like skunk and weed.

Smelling in the jar was fine, but the lingering smell made me search all over my house for the stench. It was like someone dumped an ashtray in my trash and no one smokes in my home. It's a miss. End of review. That's what you think. No one smokes in my home. Like that felt pretty obvious when you said like it's as if someone dumped an ashtray in my trash can.

Like they would be weird if they said that and it actually did happen. So them clarifying like no one smokes. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not in this house. Not in this house. But it almost feels like they are so close to. to the problem. They don't even realize it. Like, they're sleep smoking or something like that. Like, slightly defensive about it. Like, maybe they do smoke but outside.

They're projecting something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That smell does not come inside. Totally. And I know someone will tell you. Linda will tell you that I, that has nothing to do with it and is irrelevant. I wouldn't say anything that would happen because I kind of like the smell. Of skunk? Cigarette, ash tray. So they said weed and skunk, which I think are like similar smells, right? So they're not even saying cigarette smoke. They're saying for weed.

Maybe this person is kind of like most... Let's really get down to their psyche. I do like this. Who just say things like that. The amount of times mom says, oh, I smell weed. And I'm like, no, you don't. You don't. Because I would have perked up. You didn't see me perk up.

Yeah. Yeah. This is from Sam. He Him. Sam made a really interesting point here that Bath and Body Works does not leave reviews up when the items sell out. Oh, that is interesting. If you are out there, make sure you're screenshoting these things. I know Zandi always tells you it's safe to link.

But Christine 2020. I do think it's safer for images. I agree. With yourself? No, with you. Oh, okay. Images, it's safer because the links go away. I just, I don't know.

I don't care. So just listen to me. Sam says they don't leave up reviews once items sell out. But a pizza and ranch candle will that sell out? Well, just in case he screenshot on them for me. So thank you. Wow. Oh, Andy said also I smelled it.

It didn't smell like pizza and it definitely smelled like ranch. Okay. It was a release for their candle day sale. Oh my God. Imagine that person went to that. They bought 113 fucking carrot and pizza and ranch candles. So whatever day that sale was on. Yep.

And then like they went back. Maybe they were like, you can only buy a hundred in a day. Oh, but I need 113. Well, we got to come back tomorrow. After the sale. They said it was a two-day sale. Oh, they did say that. Sorry.

It's all right. Now when you're talking about it, it sounds like a one-day sale. Like candle day sale? Here's the thing. Tell me. People like Alexander will try to veer you off the correct path, which I call the way. Oh, like fastball. That's right.

That's where I got it from. Yeah. Now, that's what I call music, Volume 1. It wasn't Volume 1 yet. It was just what it was. was. What? It wasn't one until there was two.

But that's what they called it. I think it was just called. Now that's what I call music. Okay. I guess that makes sense. But I'm just clarifying it was the first volume. Are you saying you don't think about this at least once a month? Putting me off track, you just say, oh, Alexander likes to do.

They understood what I meant. I don't sound like that. Here's a five-star review by do. You sound exactly like this. Here's a five-tar review. Oh, that's her talking, by the way. I know it sounds like me. Doing the voice.

I'm sorry if you by doodle Bob 69. When I tell you, this candle had my whole house smelling like a late night pizza joint in the best possible way. I mean that with my chest. From the second I lit it was giving fresh out the oven cheesy pizza crust with a side of cool zesty ranch. The throw violent in the best way. You know what, the throw of a candle? I think I got it. And also it is, yeah, but the throw of a candle is sort of like how far the smell, the aroma.

Because is that the same for like scents, like perfumes and colons? I don't know. Maybe. The throw, violent in the best way. My neighbors probably got hungry. The pizza note is warm, buttery and cheesy without being weird. I doubt it. And the ranch is tangy, herby perfection that somehow balances it all out. It's insane how accurate this candle is without being gross.

whoever created this needs a raise and promotion immediately. This, however, is not a relax and unwind candle. It's a conversation starter. I mean, this is clearly someone who puts something into AI, but it's just like... Oh, I didn't even... I mean, I don't know. Yeah, that sentence now that you say that. But also, I'm like, this person must talk to it a lot because doodle Bob's vibes are very specific.

Like, violent throw? I don't know. It's just bizarre. When you think about it, was doodle Bob not? an artificially intelligent creature. Maybe doodle bop was, but not doodle bob 60. That's what I mean. So it's a referent and it's like I need to...

What's doodle bob? From SpongeBob? And there was a doodle and I think he like, Kel de Pangea like, hoi minoi or something. Oh yeah, Hinoa, me, noi. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, I remember it well. This is not a relax and unwind candle.

This is a conversation starter. This is a party candle. This is a why does your house smell so good and also why am I craving pizza at 9 p.m. candle. I bought one and immediately went back for backups because I refused to live without it. So they might sell out because of this person. There's a note. Received free product. You know what I mean?

And they said they went back to buy more. Totally. Refused to live without it. Like this is clearly they wrote, write some nice candle about it. Write a nice review about it. By the way, 21 people found this helpful. 60 people did not. So it was pretty obvious.

This was kind of nonsense. But there used to be, and I mean, maybe still are. You could buy reviews written by real people. Right. Talk about AI taking jobs. Seriously. I mean, this is a. Which is what we talk about most episodes.

Jesus. Which is the meat and potatoes of this show. Honestly, we should never talk about AI again. About what? AI again. I was hoping you'd say nothing, but you said it again louder. So that was my first attempt failed. Your first attempt.

It did. It did. Yeah. Now I'm going to lock in. So Anna did something great. Oh, good. And sent in many reviews of different body sprays for men. This first one is of the bourbon by Bath and Body Works men's collection body spray.

Please. Okay, wait, imagine, though, if Riannon had had this level of branding when back in the fifth grade of, like, the male products at Bath and Body Works. Yes, yes. The weddings would have been so much more. More. Like the dude wipes for hand sanitizer. 100%. Yeah.

What would it be called, do you think? Bourbon for whatever the fuck it is called. No, the hand sanitizer for men. What would that be? You're saying bourbon? I guess what I'm saying is imagine the beautiful, like, nuance of like character, speaking of character arcs that she could have had with like all these different brands of, like these different male branded products that they're selling.

Yes. Yeah. Like the bourbon one. Yes. I'm saying. but it would have to be a hand sanitizer. Oh, I see what you're saying. There were no body sprays in those weddings.

You don't, first of all. I do know that because it was, come on. Don't be naive. Please, for once in your life. These are wedding vass? Shit. Oh, you remember those. Oh, my Cracker Barrel wife.

You know what? Fun fact. Yes, she worked at Cracker Barrel, but that was her nickname. before she worked there. Because she's white and she's shaped like a barrel. Wait. Such an idiot.

My cracker barrel wife. Anyway, yes. Those were my vows to my wife. You're going to get beat up for the last. I said, you please stop being naive for the first time in your life. That's how I started my vows, uh-huh? That's a fucking crazy. I miss my wife.

She got stationed in Arkansas. Stop saying things. They had to move her around to a different cracker barrel. Anyway, here's a review of the bourbon body, men's body spray. Which, yes, I still maintain would also be the product of the hand sanitizer. Yes, that's fine. I know you meant something different, but I also now also maintained that I think I sort of meant both. But this one I really, I think I meant this one subconsciously.

Yeah. But I do think that because remember during COVID, which I keep talking about for some reason, yikes, They made like tequila hand sanitizer. You know, there were things that were being made that were more creative. I feel like that's sort of kind of in line with this anyway. Got it. Yeah, burpin kind of thing. Yeah, makes sense.

For boys. The fragrance notes. It says what it smells like. A bold, smooth, barrel-aged pore. Beryl? I know. That's why my wife bought it for me. Oh.

And so it reminds me of her doubly. Fragrance notes. White pepper, dark amber. Bad. And Kentucky Oak. So dumb. None of that. Okay.

Well, here's a five-star review. Can't keep my hands off my husband. Turns me on. No. The smell lingers and it stays even after he passes by. Hmm. End of review. I said even after he passes.

I was so. Really. Really? Yeah, holding on the things with his scent. But it's like the verb, you leave a review about it on the... I was locked in. I was like, oh my God, he passed away. Yeah.

And then it says at the bottom, receive free product. Even after, that's, all of that's bad, and I don't want to be privy to any of it. Thank you. Yet it's a useful review? That's usefulness is in the eye of the beholder. Here is a review sent in by Elise and Matt, she her, and he, him. This is of a Bath and Body Works in Peabody, Massachusetts. One star by Debbie.

For several years now, I receive an email from this vendor. It always says that a person will receive something free for their birthday. That is a lie. I just again bought ten more bottles of foaming soap. Guess what I received? Nothing. That's usual. Love the soaps, and if you try and contact them, their site gives you the runaround, so that is out.

I even want to know why they only had coconut cream pie for a short time. Probably because people wanted to eat it. That's my own personal reasoning. What about tequila? It's like, oh, it's alcohol, but it's tequila flavored, so I can drink it now. You probably could, and it would probably fuck you up as intended. I have consumed hand sanitizer before. It was on the bus back in the day.

I've just recovered that memory. He means the school. You didn't recover anything. I even want to know why they only had coconut cream pie for a short time, but like I said, you cannot reach out to them. have those assonine robot answering machines. Just wondering if a larger corporation bought this company out and are less consistent by cutting corners

as many other once great companies are doing, those were the days in all capital letters. Mm-hmm. End of review. Yeah, those were the days. She just wants a free present on her birthday. And, okay, this reminds me of you. What? Yeah.

Remember your I-HOP experience? It was a similar scenario, and I complained and I immediately regretted complaining. So I hope Debbie doesn't go through that experience, but I've since grown. I don't expect anything on my birthday anymore. Jesus. And I don't get anything.

Just kidding. That's true. I feel very loved on my birthday. Don't worry. Everyone was really worried. Here's a five-star review of the same bourbon scented body wash. I don't want to hear this. Eat him up.

Nope. My husband adores the smell. And I want to eat him up. Ew. End the review. Okay, your husband adores the smell or you adore the smell? Or you both adore the smell? Well, I think it's implied that the reviewer adores the smell with the other words.

I understand that it's implied. I just didn't know, like, does D.H. Really love the smell? Or is that sort of you projecting that he loves? I mean, maybe. Hey, look, I don't even have to love the bourbon scent that my wife sent me. But you know what I love? The way she wants to eat me up.

I adore that about her. The way she crawls out of that cracker barrel cellar. She rolls for Stana. It's a root cellar. She can't roll. She rolls up out of the roots. I'm starting to think she's just an actual barrel. She's just a barrel in the root cellar.

I've called TLC. They won't reach back out. Okay. I hate her wet so much. I hate her. Don't get me start on your husband. I'm so scared of her. Don't.

My husband will protect me from your wife. Yeah, he needs to. He needs to because I'm scared of her. Okay, this is a review of a badden bodyworks in Burlington, Massachusetts. One Star by Allie. Julie was super rude and unprofessional. Thanks for making shopping for soap, stressful and sad, smiley face. Shit.

End of review. Shit. Look at the, it's just like a little. Oh, a little smiley face at the end. Yeah. A little colon parentheses. Okay, I've been in this boat. So if you have, I feel your pain, that big leap of faith you take when you're posting

something or publishing online, especially like for sale, like a shop or your creative work, for me, it was my stickers and, you know, some of my designs. There is this like uncertainty that's kind of terrifying, but also thrilling. And Shopify is a really, really, really awesome place to be able to take that feeling and put it in good hands and make sure you are getting the best out of whatever beautiful creation you're trying to make. You can get started with your own design studio. They've got hundreds of ready-to-use templates. I've looked through them. They're really chic and stunning.

And it's like the ones where you go, wait, that's a template. Like I thought somebody had, you know, specific custom website made. It's just a template from Shopify, not to say just, but you know, that's how good these are. If you get stuck, Shopify is always around to share advice with their award-winning 24-7 customer support, which, you know, sometimes when you're in the throes of like designing a shop or a website online, you really do need somebody like right now who's there awake in the middle of the night, at least speaking from personal experience. See fewer carts go abandon and more sales go with Shopify and their shop pay button.

sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash two Sandy. Go to Shopify.com slash two Sandy. That's Shopify.com slash two Sandy. Okay, Leona has the best time with our skylight calendar and having the chores that you can check off. And it has changed the game because now she can actually go in there and say, oh, I actually brushed my teeth, ding, you know, check. And we can all feel good and whole and complete as a family, at least for that one second. and it's beautiful, okay?

No, it is hard to handle everybody's schedule, right? We all have very busy lives, and it's just a lot. It's always a lot. Skylight calendar has made it so much easier for our family. We can see Blazes like jujitsu calendar right there, and Leona can check it, I can check it. It is a game changer to have it, especially downstairs. It looks really nice, too, like very, like chic.

You'll be able to manage events, chores, grocery lists, while assigning colors to each year of your family members. And guess what? If you're not satisfied, if you're not 100% thrilled within four months, you can return it for a full refund. Skylight wants you to be happy. No questions asked. Families are better when they're working together. Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to my skylight.com slash beach.

Go to my skylight.com slash beach for $30 off your 15-inch calendar. That is, M-Y-S-K-Y-L-G-H-T dot com slash beach. This is of the mahogany teakwood body spray. Fragrance, what it smells like, borrowing their flannel for a hike in the woods. Okay. Fragrance notes, mahogany, black teakwood, and lavender. Five stars. Smell spectacular.

I love the smell. It smells like a strong, black, educated man. End of review. Whoa. Now that paints a picture. Of a black man. Yeah, of a very specific man. Yeah.

It's a vivid picture, sure. Yeah. My first thought, Shamar Moore. Interesting. He's usually my first thought. Oh, yeah, not based on this review. When I woke up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When I wake up, but I go to bed. Chamoir more, wow. What a cool. Here is a review of noir body spray. Oh, God. Fragrance. What it smells like. A mystifying night at a masquerade.

Zach Bairns. Oh. He probably uses this by Ed Hardy, though. Here we go. Fragrance notes. Black cardamom, smoky vanilla, and a hint of musk. Just a hint. Just a hint, oh.

Here's a five-star review. There's so many five-star. Yeah. Yummy. When my husband wears this, I find myself head over heels. Or shall I say, the other way around. You shall not. You shall not.

Too late. And he knows it because he now sprays it before bed End of review. I mean, for fuck's sake, people. I couldn't imagine. For fucks. For fucks sake. For example.

Nour, bath and bodywork scented body spray. I love that it works for them. But to me, the idea of someone, the body spray, no matter what it is, right before bed,

I don't know. I don't know if I could sleep with that strong of a smell. I mean, some of them shimmer. The boy ones probably don't, but some of them shimmer. And I'm like,

what are we doing people? I mean, actually, it is nice to go to bed, smelling nice. But once it starts to become very Pavlovian like that, I wonder how long this, like, I mean, I don't know. Maybe it'll just be their thing. If it works, it works. If it works. I'm not here to ruin the day.

Stop it. Here's a five-star review. So this was a gift for someone. I'm going to read just the title by Miss Honey. Mr. Monroe, my lover and friend. End of review. Don't do that. That was the title.

And then the review, like, I thought it would be confusing to do these back to back. The review was gift for my lover and friend. So. It made it worse. I thought, like, maybe this would be, like, some sort of inside joke or something. No, they basically just repeated the title. They just said, hey. They just said, hey.

Casey weren't aware. That's my lover. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that? And friend. That's important in a partnership. That little thing? Yeah.

It's my friend and lover. It's actually lover first, friend second. Which I think is important. I'll never figure this out. So I've got a couple more. This one was sent in by Sean Heim of Mall of America, Bath and Body Works. Sorry, one of the two locations. In the Mall of America?

Yes. Wow. One star. No Duckies. No Duckies. Bath and Body Works. Maybe they should call it candle and sticky stuff works. Yes, because famously Duckies is in the name of it now, so it's very misleading.

Here's a review that Britt they them sent in of Bath and Body Works in Columbus, Ohio. Stop laughing silently next to me. Try to breathe. It looks hard for you right now. Now I'm going to hold my breath. One star, good. Allo vera and oils in everything.

No. Flowers, scents, and strong scent of alcohol. Tried to be on Tester Group because of allergies. Oh, please. Can no longer buy any of their products. Went overboard with these. products. Most sincerely, C. Sprouse. End of review. Most sincerely. The most sincerely.

With full authenticity. And of course, Britt signed the email. Most sincerely. It's really good. Most sincerely. Alexander. Yes. I've had a recovered memory. I'm having a recovery. I've recovered a memory. Okay, good. Good timing, because that was my last one before my challenge. So. It's about Bath and Body Works. Finish strong for us.

It's about Alyssa Evans. Finish strong for us. Yes. This is all. this is the recipe for a good story at your expense. Alyssa and I, this was before the famous hamburger price incident at Niagara Falls. We went through a phase where we made perfumes and put them in little bottles. And then one day on the bus, we dropped them and they rolled all the way to the front. And then all the way to the back. And then when we got them, they were empty.

And the bus driver pulled everyone over and said, who did this? And we said, we have no idea. And I kept raising my hand and then you started punching me, like, get down. It was like, probably pointing at me. You stuffed me behind the backseat and the wall of the bus. Yeah, because you were going to fucking rat me out. Probably. Yeah, it was horrible.

And they had to get, like, the bus professionally clean. I mean, we literally made these things with, like, oils and, like, Like, I mean, we took Bath and Body Works. It was toxic to breathe all that probably. Oh, big time. Noxious gases, yeah. And we put them all. And then we made like these crazy names.

I mean, they probably had labels on them with our fucking initials. Like, I don't think anybody was actually confused on who had done this. We were also probably covered in body shimmer. It was very. And then, oh, Mom. Oh, Mom was not having any of it. The perfume. The homemade perfume.

Yeah. She's like Sea Spouse or whoever that is. Yeah, most sincerely. She's most sincerely not having it with any bath. She will go into a Kenwood mall and go, I smell it for me here. I mean, really. And so when we were going up, like, there was none of the sense, right? So then when I accidentally dumped an entire potion bottles worth of like just pure 90s, like.

And both her children came home smelling strongly of that. Just raking and screaming probably at each other. I think, yeah, it's just evoking a lot of troubling memories. Anyway, we did really kind of fuck up that bus a lot, I think, with that. That was pretty bad. I was going to say we fucked up our bus a lot of times in many different ways. But, yeah, the worst thing was when I did hide behind the back, in my mind, was when I, not even when I choked on the bus, was when I hit in the back behind the backseat.

The bus driver had to call an ambulance and you think whatever this is was the word. Yeah, I'm like, that was, I could have died. What happened? I don't understand. I was just behind the backseat and the wall of the bus. Why is that the worst thing? I'm like, that's so dangerous. It scares me to think about.

I was choked on a piece of cany and went to the boss. Yeah, it was a shocktart. And you know what the cure was? A fucking glass of water. Yeah, but like there's no cure needed for hiding in the back of the bus. By the way, like, no matter where you were on the bus, we would have been dead if it crashed. Yeah, we were usually never in our seats. Yeah.

Alex, ander, the seats don't do anything. I'm sorry to tell you all this. I think you think that you're going to be safe. In my mind, I'd be crushed by something hitting it like a semi-truck that classically would be follow-up in the school bus. Like, just unravel that for a moment and it'll dissipate. Yeah. Right, I'm done. Yeah, put your phone down.

I know you went as you were like trying to move us ahead. That's my job. My challenge was to read reviews that mention wet socks. Find reviews. Read them too. I didn't find this one that Stephanie sent in. This was an Airbnb post, forum post, where a host said this. I am a super host with 40 good reviews and one horrible one.

Can I get the horrible one erased, typical Airbnb host, if you ask me? Classic. And here's what a level 10. I had to say about that. Am I supposed to do you feel? Considering the original person was a level one, they should have been. I would hope so.

Like you're a zero. No, I know. I feel like I just shouldn't even be, I should be averting eyes, you know? 1,000%. Plug your ears for this. How to deal with a bad review. Step one.

Curse this guest using language that plums the depths of any fulsome dictionary and would embarrass a 19th century salty semen pulling in the sails in a category five storm with wet socks on. Step two. Weep bitterly and wail uncontrollably over the unfairness of the world. Step three. Bounce back and unveil plans to turn your pad into a world-beating Airbnb featuring fine Timothy Olten furniture, silken wallpapers, Dalbergia wood flooring, German kitchen units with Le Crusoe, cookware, and Imperial Porcelain dinnerware. Step four, bulk at the cost of turning your place into a world of feet.

reading Airbnb. Step 5. After these two minutes, carry on regardless. Don't let one greet-in-faced reviewer ruin your day. And then, some actual info. Well, Airbnb doesn't usually erase reviews unless some breach of the posting rules. You can write over a reply, I think that you might have already to the review. Not to write wrongs and settle scores, but you are writing to a dear potential future guest. To be honest, if the reviewer has a point on some operational matters within your control, you should act on it. I think the review in question complains about things like

not liking the decor and is quite nitpicking. If it is just a matter of opinion, there's not much to respond to. It is annoying and natural to feel annoyed, but you will probably forget about it soon enough. The majority of guests will see your fine reviews and not be swayed by one sour guest. Remember, even a top place like

the Law Reserve Paris Hotel and Spa gets a one-star review occasionally because the macaron was subpar with only a sugary taste and a review. Wow. And I was like, that's some good info. That is. And guess what? The review is gone.

So maybe there was part of it that was against the rules, supposedly. Maybe we just needed that wisdom, you know. Yeah, I will say, I think the, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an opportunity to remove posts that or reviews that aren't necessarily rule breaking. But what do I know? What do I know? You're not a level 10 anything. That's not true. This one might be more your style.

This is also from Stephanie. Can't wait to understand what that means. Yeah, this is from a forum called Planet of the Vapes. Oh. So this is about vapes. Here we go. Seeing as I just got hit by one, I've got to ask, anybody else get a rare and very occasional wet socks

slash stewed cabbage hit? Only guessing here, but all that I can put it down to is a bit of old condensation that's been lurking in the device and for unknown reasons, finding its way onto the wick to be zapped into cabbage eternity. So they're saying they took a hit of their babe

and got a taste, I assume that's what they mean, of wet socks and cabbage. Oh, okay, I was thinking at first, like they got, remember that review we read where someone said the strain of weed that makes you feel like you're wearing a hat? Yes.

I think about that a lot. And I know that like certain strains do like have a tendency to make you feel things certain parts of your body. I thought like when you were talking it gave a wet socks like the hit like resulted in a wet socks feeling. And I was very concerned. But I like, I mean, it's concerning also to breathe that in. But I feel a little bit less alarmed maybe. I don't know. I don't know.

Well, I'll alarm you here because things took a turn. This is the first response to that post. Okay. My ex-misses threw a glass ashtray at me once. That's it? Yeah. What? Yeah.

And someone said, so this is what they actually meant when they said smoking was bad for your health, winky face. What? Yeah. No? And then they responded, the one who's ex threw that ashtray, I said this. I was lucky. She threw like a girl and missed. I'm bringing all sorts of horrible shit.

What? few. God. Yeah. So. What is this planet of the vapes? I haven't checked, but I'm like, this feels more like, it feels more like, uh, dot net. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Grasity. Dot net. Grascity.net. Oh, it's forum. Dot planet of the vapes. Dot co. Dot UK.

So honestly, now that I hear that, I'm like, I wonder if there's something I missed that's British in that first post. About the wet socks? About the wet socks and cabbage. Because like, I'm a super. It feels very British. But now I'm like, hmm. It feels very British.

It feels like a British. Like, oh, the good old wet socks and cabbage experience. We've all been there. Yep. This is a one-star review of a carpet cleaner sent in by V. Sheher. Carpet cleaner had no trigger, no heat cleaning, as described, and stains did not come out. First off, when I assembled the product, there was no trigger.

Now, as silly as that sounds, it's accurate. There was no handle trigger to make the water come out. After making it work by manually pressing down where the trigger would push onto, I got the water to come out, but the carpets remained wet. This is after they advertised that you won't get wet socks and that it heats while cleaning. I tested this by feeling underneath, and it was cold with no heat. Lastly, and most importantly, the stains didn't come out. I even tested it by spilling some orange juice,

and now I've got orange juice stain on my carpet just from testing. in the end I just got on my hands and knees and scrubbed it like the old days and it actually did a better job. Wow. First of all, the idea of them saying, you won't get wet feet. I love that as an ad for this for a carpet cleaner. Yeah. If it was wet socks. That's what I meant.

What socks? Yeah. That's what I meant to say literally the review I'm reading. I mean, you're washing a carpet. Don't walk on it in socks. Agreed. But if you have to get this one, except didn't see. seem to work for this person and also spilling orange juice on purpose.

Now you've got orange juice in your socks. It was all a bad idea. It's hilarious. You and this product were never a match. That makes me wonder if this person, they buy it for a specific stain. Yeah, the one they were going to make with orange juice. Exactly. Like, I'm wondering if there was an actual stain when they busted it out.

And then they're like, huh, let me test it. No, it's got to be they just wanted to test it. And we're like, well, let's see if it was. works. It's not even hot. I mean, when it doesn't have a trigger, my first thought is maybe do something about that that's not like kind of ignoring that and moving on. Yeah, but also if you needed to use it. But it sounds like they didn't actually need to use it right away.

Until now, they've created a problem. Exactly. That didn't exist. This is what we call late stage capitalism problems. Yeah. Amen. Hallelujah. Zenny is an online eyewear shop. They offer prescription glasses, sunglasses, blue light lenses,

starting at under $30. You go to Zeni.com, you pick a frame, upload your prescription, they ship it to your door. There's not an appointment. You don't need to sit around in the waiting room and try on awkwardly expensive pairs of glasses that don't even look that good. You know, the famous heart glasses.

I'm traveling right now, and they're precious to me, so I keep them on my nightstand at night. And I forgot to bring them on my trip. So I'm feeling a little bit naked without them, now that they've kind of become part of my whole deal, right? And then anytime I want to switch it up, I go to Zeni and I'm like, let me try on. And they've a really good try on feature, you know?

And that's how I knew the heart ones were meant for me, right? Like I did the try on process and I could just tell that, man, we were meant for each other, those glasses. Okay, anyway, I love, I love my Zeni. So if your glasses are overdue for a refresh now is the time. Go to Zeni.com slash podcast and use code podcast 15 for 15% off your first order. The style sell out, so don't sit on it. That's ZE NNNI.com slash podcast promo code podcast 15.

Listen up, campers. It's time to buckle up, pitch its head, and take a hike. This is Camp Counselor's Podcasts. With Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson. Consider this podcast your new favorite variety show. Where the badges mean nothing. And the drama means everything. Is this podcast even about camping?

No, but it is camp. We cover everything. I have a theory that a chicken finger is the perfect chaser for a tequila shop? No, because at the end of the day, I was a child actor who fell victim to an audition scam. I'm going to be vulnerable for a second. Have you ever had to shop in a husky section at a department store? Then I don't want to hear it.

Honestly, I can't talk about this anymore. I'm overstimulated and I'm bloated. From weird news and our current obsessions to hot gossip and listeners submitted confessions. Nothing is off limits at this camp. New episodes of camp counselors drop every Monday and Wednesday. Listen wherever you get your podcast. Lights out campers. My next one was sent in by Lindsay, and this is of a post on our Thursday boot, which is apparently a boot brand or something.

Oh. And the title is, I am so disappointed with my product and can't figure out how to leave a review on their website. One out of five. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but basically they bought these boots, and they were talking about the experience of first getting them delivered, and then here is them actually using them. The boots honestly look so good and are really comfortable when you break them in. I had my first negative experience with them today, though. I was walking home from work in the rain, in three-month-old boots, and my feet were soaked. My feet were so wet that it felt like I was wearing chucks and accidentally stepped in a puddle.

I was never expecting them to be waterproof, but for $200 they should at least be water-resistant, especially when they throw around labels like Captain and Storm King. which I'm like, I guess. Storm King. If that's a label, yeah. I mean, Storm King, yeah. I get that one I'm like, I get. The Captain one I'm like, I don't know about that.

Storm King could also be the name of that carpet cleaner. No one socks here. Could it? What was it again? Storm wings. Love all you make this statement so confidently. And then you're like, what did I just say like two seconds ago? Storm King.

Storm King. And you think that. would be a good carpet cleaner name. Yeah. I mean, I think the vacuum. Don't act like that's obvious. Sorry. It is.

The vacuum I have is literally called like hurricane tornado or some crazy shit. Like they're all called like some twister nonsense. You know what? You got me there. What was the thing you said? Kind of storm king. It just. I literally keep forgetting what it is and I'm still convinced.

Yeah. To me it evokes making things wet. But that's, and that's what my wife says about me. The storm king? Both, yeah. She would not go. you that. She only has one king, and that's the one in the gift shop, aka Elvis. Yep, yep, as if she ever gets up there, as if they let her in there. They don't trust her. I would understand

if I had been walking around and stomping in every puddle I see, but I actively avoid puddles and only had to walk 10 minutes to get home. When I got home, my socks were so wet that I was leaving puddles in my apartment as I walked around. Oh, no. Also, these boots stain my feet. I've really never seen anything like it. It's so weird. I'll take my socks off and it'll look like my feet are bruised. It takes a few days worth of deep scrubbing and not wearing the boots to get them back to normal. These boots cost me $200 and I feel like I've gotten the experience of buying a $20 pair of boots from Target. End of review. Okay. Are these leather? Because I'm like... Their Storm King is the material.

Right. They're like leather. So they're probably... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What the fuck do either of us? No. about boots and being water resistant. Kind of a... I mean... They're not rain boots. Like, if they were rain boots,

I'd be more inclined to think. They're not rain boots. I thought surely with a name like Storm Cloud or whatever. Storm King. Yeah, that it would be... Yeah. Okay, what is the name of it again? Captains.

They're Thursday boot captains. Captains? Yes. My God, how many fucking boots does a person make? A haberdasher? No, like the Thursday company. I figured you didn't mean one haberdasher, but yeah. Jesus Christ.

Can't figure out how to leave a review, but it says 35,000 five-star reviews. I'm like, that's an interesting statistic if you're unable to leave a review. I'm just going to say that. Yeah, they're just kind of like leather boots. Okay. I don't think $200 boots should do what this person is describing. Fair enough. But also the staining, but like through your socks?

Yeah, that's bizarre. What kind of socks are you wearing? I guess maybe I don't know about that part. Well, and also if it was the same day as the wet day, then that could be anything. It did seem separate. Like, this seemed like a regular occurrence. And then I'm like, are you just wearing the same socks and they're doing that? Because, like, would be.

Maybe there's socks are made of leather or denim. Because that would explain. Because I've had, I've worn new jeans and then like, been like, what the hell is on me? Oh, it's called the Captain Storm King. Is it actually? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Captain Storm King.

Jesus. Kick ass. That does sound like it'd be water resistant. I get it. I get it too. Like these are they look fucking rugged. Okay. Tier 1 USA cattle hides only.

Oh, good. Only the best cows are killed in skin. Phew. I was worried they'd get some loser cow that didn't have any like prospects in life. No, they've got Kevlar. They've got Kevlar laces. Whoa. Kevlar trademark blend laces.

That seems so unnecessary. And a durable steel shank. Oh, wink. What is that? What are you winking about? I don't know. Whose steel shank are you winking about? You winked on.

I have a review, also from Lindsay, of a Sky Zone trampoline park. Oh, no. This is a location in Ridgeland, Mississippi. One star. I came here, and should a sky zone be able to flood, they should have a safety. I keep slipping, and my socks were so wet, I could not jump, and there was not anything fun in there to do. Many kids yelling and kids picking.

I had kids running around. I went to the ninja course, and I fell in and was, duck, I don't have much strength. So it was very hard and their water cups are $3? $3 is too much. I got nachos for like... Your socks are wet. Just...

Drew, bring it out. If they're that wet that you're sinking in the ball pit? Yeah, or just get on your hands and knees and start laughing like a dog. Whatever your feet are drinking. It sounds aggressive. Sorry. Your feet are drinking it right up. True.

Put that tongue down. You should be like... In my head, you were saying like you were a tree and the water would go through from Your socks into your system. It's acupuncture. Ew. You're stepping on little needles that are soaking up the water. No, no, no.

There's no needles at the trampoline park. Hey, come on. Cut it out. That's not what I said. There 1,000% is a review that mentions needles at a water park. I'm sure then. I said trampoline park. That's what I meant to say.

My dad. I was thinking this, it turned in, this one turned into a water park. This is a slip inside situation. Yeah. $3 is too much. I got nachos for like $4. And there wasn't even enough chips in it. Ninja course is safety thing because I went back there.

again because they had another phone part, and that was easier to get out of, and I got pushed by a worker. This is not good at all. I'm highly disappointed about the prices and safety concern. Why should the sky zone be flooding? I don't know. They should at least have a good building structure that can't flood. I'm highly disappointed about this experience and a review. Wow. At the very least, the building should be structurally sound. You'd think that should be step one. I would argue, is the building flooding or small children just like spilling sprite on the floor. Oh no.

Because I'm like, well, if you're walking around a trampoline park in socks, I've been to these things, okay? I have a four-year-old. You will get wet socks. If you're walking around a trampoline park in a house. I mean, not necessarily on a trampoline, but it's like a theme part. Like, I mean, there's... They said they were so wet they couldn't jump.

That's disgusting. It was so weighing them down. But do you know what that means? That they got on a trampoline with wet socks. That's on them. You shouldn't fucking do that. That's crazy. They're part of the problem.

Like, why are you? Now the fucking trampoline is wet. Yeah. You know why you couldn't jump? Because you get fucking sliding probably. Yeah. I can't with this person, this small child. I think it sounded like a child, but it was just voice-to-text.

I don't know. I feel like a child. When it sounded like I said foam part, I said phone part. Like because- No, I think it's voice-to-text. Oh, I see. But you still think it's a child doing voice-to-text. It feels like a young, like a teenager or like a kid somehow. Just like a worker pushed me.

child is buying $3 water and $4 nachos, you know? I don't know. I feel like a parent would do that. Yeah, I feel like a parent would be like, don't jump in your wet socks. They also didn't say anything about their own family members. They said other kids. So, yeah. And also, what parent is running around buying $3 water and $4.00 nachers and then being like,

my socks are so wet. I can't do the ninja course. Like, I don't know. I mean. Also, I can't do it. It's so, and it's also so dangerous. It's like, okay. And a worker push me.

And then my, your wet socks are just weighing you down. Don't let me, and this building is flooding, and my socks don't let me jump. I mean, this is not an adult, Alexander. I'm so sorry to inform you that this safe adult you thought you were speaking. It was actually a child. I am not speaking to any child about this. Make it sound like I message them after this. I didn't make it sound like anything except like that a little bit.

Okay. I'm sorry. Okay. Jenny sent something in. This is my last one. And Jenny asked about something that I think we should consider. Was a friend of mine? That was her phone number.

It's a phone number. Okay. I might have known her too. Well, Jenny here asked about the bitch-to-sandy perfume we talked about. Oh, that's right. The fragrance. At the time, we had reached out to our merch company at the time. I recall a little.

And said, like, hey, is this feasible? Yes. And I'm paraphrasing, but I believe the answer was, of course not. So I'm not saying it would be more feasible now, but something to at least revisit, if you ask me, because that would be hilarious. I could text Alyssa. She and I made a lot of concoctions. I am not trusting that. But people would still buy it because we don't have to tell them how bad it is.

It's not bad at all. It's really good. It's toxic. You'll see, you'll all see. Noxious fumes is how it was described in the past, but who knows now? Maybe those fragrances are in right now. I told you, tomato basil and noxious fumes. You want it to like tingle on your nose when your nose is burning from the scent.

I wanted to incinerate your nose. Anyway, this is a review Jenny sent in of a Panera bread. One star. I ordered chicken kebabs and they are so dry. My mouth feels like the Sahara. Desert combined with me doing the cinnamon challenge back in 2014. Not only that, but the Caesar salad actually makes me depressed. Oh.

The lack of love and care that was put into this salad is comparable to the amount of love my dad gives me. Oh. There was only two croutons, and they weren't even good. They were as soggy as wet socks. Do better, Panera. End of review. I mean, that does paint, a really bleak picture. Bleak is right.

Of a salad that I already didn't want. Yeah. So thanks for ruining my non-existent appetite for that salad reviewer. Two croutons, I mean, it's panera bread. They're not making it with love. They're making it because it's their job and they want to do a decent job. And unfortunately, corporate of their cost cutting and shit, you know, you're not going to get. Here we go with this guy.

Yeah, sorry. We're always talking. What are we talking again? I forgot on your other podcast, you're a big Panera bread sponsor or vice versa. They're a big sponsor of your other podcast and they really mean a lot to you. You mean... Financially, they mean a lot to you? Yeah.

That's it. Right. So I shouldn't have done that. You have a fiduciary duty to Panera bread. Fiduciary responsibility to Pinera Bread over at the bread bowl. We do require a lot of... We do... The Bread Bowl?

Is that your other podcast you're saying? Yep. We love Panera bread. I hear you only got like one place that would consider giving you a live show, St. Louis. Yep. What's the bread bowl about? It's kind of about like hot button issues. Here, let me give you the elevator pitch.

Yeah. At the bread bowl, we talk everything. We talk everything. No, no, let me finish. We talk everything relatable. We're talking money scandals. We're talking fiduciary responsibility. We're talking mergers and also daily wellness.

That's the worst. like elevator-related thing to happen to me since I got stuck in a freight elevator. Honestly, the freight elevator was better than having to listen to that elevator pitch. If you had given me that elevator pitch in that stuck elevator, one of us would not have gotten out of there alive.

Yeah. Someone would be... Oh, they would have killed us both. Someone would have passed on and the bourbon scent would have lingered. Oh, my God. It's so beautiful. I was actually about to bring up that bourbon scent.

Yeah. I'm so glad you did it instead. I was part of my wife's vows. After you told her to stop being so fucking naive. Believe it or not, she went first. I was actually reacting to her vows. Oh, that was your rebuttal. Yeah.

Oh, I forgot your whole wedding. It was set up as like a mock trial. Yeah, I was about to say she had a revow after her. Yeah, in response, but the offici made it clear she could only respond to things. in my opening state, in my bow, sorry. Obviously. Yeah, just to make sure she didn't add anything new on. Yeah.

Well, that was fun, everybody. Thanks for joining us today at Beachy, Sandy Water, Too Wet. We are going to log off now before things get really done. Beach Two Sandy Water Too Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Cheever. The show is edited and mixed by Sarah Borhees-W-Swindle of VW Sound. Welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long.

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