Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 406: Reviews of Novelty Ice

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug?Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. Prioritize your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club.Shop now at fabletics.com/beach to get 70–80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy.Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Two Sandy Water Two at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sister host, Christine. I am brother host. My name is Zandi. We're talking novelty ice cube trays. No, not cubes.

Ice. Oh, yeah, not necessarily cubes. Novel shapes. Yeah, what the hell you all? What's wrong with me? I'm already putting us in a cubular box. Whoa. That's the kind of show we bring to the table.

So let us know what you bring to the table. What? I don't know. What in the comments below? Yeah, engagement. It's all the rage these days. I've heard that. This is the energy that I'm bringing.

I know. So the first thing I have is just like this really intense looking biohazard style. Like what's going on with all this? This like how would you describe this? Biohazard plague. Like this is the ice cube like designs. Yeah. There's one that's like a biohazard sign. One that's like plague looking sign. One's a skull and crossbow. What's the fourth one? Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. I mean, it's got a 4.9. nine out of five-star average rating.

Yeah, because I, it, yeah. What could go wrong? If you want this and you see it and you're like, and you order it and you get it, okay. You open it up, you make ice skips, you know what you say? Hell yeah. You're never going to believe. You just say, hell yeah, because that's, like, that's so specific.

The only other thing you could say is, hell yeah, brother. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the four-star review. Even Jennifer couldn't bring herself to do anything lower than a four-star, but listen to her experience because. It's something else. This item is advertised as an ice mold, but arrived with instructions on how to make dog treats.

It's my own fault for not checking everything thoroughly before giving the gift. I gave it to someone for a gift and was pretty embarrassed, considering the person had just helped their pet cross the rainbow bridge a couple days before. Perhaps since advertised as an ice mold, it might be helpful to give tips on bed. best results for having the ice cubes turn out well. What a good tip from them. Can you imagine giving dog treats to somebody that say biohazard death, skull, fire? What is it wrong? I mean.

Right after their dog died. And also, what a strange gift to give somebody. And also, like, the fact that they said it, like, not like, oh, they just lost their dog and it was an awkward gift, but, like, they had just helped their pet pass over the rainbow bridge. mere hours before. So it was like, there were instructions to use those to make a dog treat? Yeah, shaped with these weird biohazard.

Which, like, why would you feed your dog something that has, like, a skull and bio? But also, like, why would you put that as ice cubes in a drink? Like, I... For Halloween, I guess. Like, it's not even, to me, well, I guess, theming depends. You could do, like, a zombie apocalypse style. I think, in my mind, it's like, yeah. But dog treats?

If you're doing a walking dead, like, watch a party or something. And I am most nights. Yeah, because apparently that show's still running. Every night we watch it. It's kind of like Love Island. Is that the one that's every day? Yeah, I think so. It's Love Island actually is what I call it.

You call it your Walking Dead watch party, Love Island. No, no. I was like, what the fuck are you doing while watching? We call it The Walking Dead. Because, you know, we're watching it ironically. That's some good banter. Yeah. My first set of reviews comes from, well, I found this product and it was like, I need to find reviews of this.

And then, it turns out, Sherry had also emailed in reviews of the exact same product. And this is what it says. Ice Cube Mold Trey Novelty. Prank Fun Ice Cube Mold. Ice Ball Maker with Lid for Whiskey, Coffee, Cocktail, Juice, Drinks, Beverage, Crafting, Accessories, Funny Gift. Wow. And it brought you two together. Yes, it did.

You both were drawn to the same product. Amazing. But it was probably more of the image, which is. It's an ice cube tray that makes ice cubes that look like butt plugs. Oh, I could very well have brought this same review as well. We all must have ended up at the same point. I mean, it's really, it was easy to get there on Amazon. Amazon really marketed it toward the right people.

No, it really was up there. That's one of the main things. But in the bottom right corner of the first. But? In the bottom right corner. Phil. Phil. I'm about to say the word, Phil your.

Fill your butt. With this novel. The ice cube. In the bottom right corner. So, okay, in the main image of this product. Mm-hmm. You see the two silicone, whatever things and, like, examples of the butt plugs. And then the bottom right photoshopped in is a tumbler with the words,

fill your cup on it, but fill is F-I-L. And then you see tumbling in our little butt plug ice cubes. Wait. Like tiny little. Oh, my God. Fill your cup. Yeah. Just like tinkling of the little butt plugs.

Going into your tumbler of ice coffee. Absolutely bizarre. Fill with an F-I-L father-in-law. Father-in-law, uh-oh. Then I'm like, well, honestly, what's weirder? That or a biohazard ice cube? I don't know anymore. Like, there's nothing.

There's like not even a spectrum of normal. They're all just extremely abnormal. They are. I agree. Well, here is a review. Great for hemorrhoids. That's actually a great idea. Or is it?

Well, okay. Do not say that on this show. I am not a doctor yet. Do not do that, please. I'm going to read a review because I have one of the same product. But it's a different review. Gene the Bean sent this one in, she or her. Oh, no, there are three of us.

Uh-oh. Four of us. No, you didn't stumble on it. No, I didn't. Okay. Well, I did see it as I was exploring, but I had already, as I was exploring for hemorrhoid. As you're exploring your freezer, you thought. Yeah.

Okay. This one is called It Comes With a Little Funnel. It's of the same butt plug. Ice molds. Comes with a little funnel by Sarah Five Stars. I heard the water running in the kitchen. Upon further investigation, I found that my roommate, in a fit of excitement and joy,

was filling the butt plug ice molds so we could have iced butt plugs for our upcoming family dinner. An absolute sleigh. We were overjoyed to see that these come with a funnel for easy fill. Fill your cup. Fill your cup. Love that. After about six hours, the ice easily pops out of what? Never mind, I don't want to know.

Can you imagine it take six hours of it? Sorry. Don't want to listen on even. After about six hours, the ice easily pops out and you have a very identifiably shaped cube of ice. again with the terminology. Hilarious, easy, we love this, and would absolutely purchase again for the price. They put them on a classy tray, you see.

That does look pretty classy. Classy tray, yeah. Take your pick, you know. It's sort of like an hors d'oeuvre, a pig and a blanket. Wink. Fill your cup. What the heck? Fill your cup.

Well, here's another one of the same product. Another five-star review. Oh, my God. The title of this is great. LOL, it's definitely fun, especially when they aren't expecting the cold. Sometimes it shoots out. What? End of the review.

Dangerous. This feels like an episode of, I was going to say. Uh-oh. I'm very nervous. Of Love Island. Of, what was I going to call it? Mindhunter. Jesus Christ.

What was I going to call it? What's the zombie show again? Walking Day. But you were going to, you were calling. Love Island Walking Dead. Yeah, no, no. So what I was going to say is that this reminds me of like, I was going to say 20 minutes, but that's not the right. 60 minutes?

But it's something like that, 2020. An episode of like 2020, not 20 minutes, 2020 or something where it's like somebody was killed by an icicle, but then it melted. I know, but an icicle and then it melted or like they hanged themselves on an ice cube. Like the old joke goes from preschool. Classic show. Yeah, classic. Classic preschool. Classic kindergarten playground and banter.

So, not much of a riddle if all the preschoolers know the answer, so, but whatever. Yeah. I mean, I did teach Leona that at a young age. And it's her favorite party trick. Okay, so I don't remember the point of what I was saying. Oh, yeah, the shooting out like a weapon. Also, what do you mean you don't expect it? Who does?

Exactly. Who? I don't want to know. Who? I don't want to know. I don't want to know. It shoots out. Oh my God, please.

Okay, I have a review of, this is from Target. This was sent in by Jenny, she her, sheifer. She her, sheifer. And it is of a Target product. It's a United States ice mold. And it's like individual states. Right. It's divided into.

That's kind of cool. Yeah. Well, one star, missing states would not recommend. What? Doesn't even have all the states. Now, I'll say that Jenny made a good, point of like, well, Alaska and Hawaii, right? Like, how is that going to work? I mean, Alaska, you want because it's so big. But what about like Rhode Island?

Then I went and looked at the question and answer section of targets product page. And there is a question here. Why asks Ma Ma of one? Why does this have West Virginia still joined with Virginia? Wow. West Virginia has been its own state since 1863. The year I was born, says ma-ma of one. This is an answer by Rainey. It tells you right in the description, states were combined to avoid having too many tiny ice cubes, makes a total of 38 shapes. So there are not... That's still a lot.

It is, but now a lot of these are just like weird chunks. That is weird. No, I agree. Because it's like, if you mash them all together, it's like now it's just like you just have to kind of pretend like your state is in there. Why did they combine New York with Pennsylvania, New Jersey? It's a very strange. Of all states, it's like big enough and like. Way to do it.

It makes sense as, I don't know, this is crazy. It's like they just were like, oh, let's just see race some lines on Photoshop, you know, and then like just kind of scrubbed them out. But yeah, so forget Hawaii and Alaska. We don't even have half a New England on there. Yeah. Actually, like 90% of people on there. We have some blobs.

We have the colonies, maybe. We have two colonies. Yeah. So I never thought I'd say this, but I've been on an active streak where I do yoga. I go to strength training now. And I'm like actively working on myself and my routines. And at first, I know I said this, but I didn't know where to buy like athletic wear. And then I remembered I've loved Fablix for a very long time.

And they've made it so easy to get beautiful matching sets. And then I show up at my little studio. And my trainer Kate is like, wow, you're looking really pretty. put together. Your stuff looks so good. Yeah, it does. It does. Not only that, they consistently look good even when they're dropping all their new styles.

They have new stuff every single month. And you get 70 to 80% off your first order as a new VIP where you can unlock incredible savings and moment you sign up. Very fun stuff and especially with the updated styles every month. That's always really fun. Yeah. Shop now at fabletics.com slash beach to get 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP.

Take a quick style quiz and be sure to select Beach when prompted to unlock this offer. Top performing styles. sell out fast, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com slash beach for 70 to 80% off everything as a new VIP. Sometimes I really take a hard look at how much I spend on eating out or like ordering food, and it doesn't feel great. And that's why I love Home Chef because I can come back to my normal routine and Home Chef helps me cook more and order less. And my wallet is very thankful for that. Home Chef makes cooking simple, fresh food delivered, easy recipes to follow, and meals that actually taste great. You can take the stress out of your week with convenient weekly deliveries that

keep your fridge stocked and eliminate the meal planning and grocery runs. Yes. That's my least favorite part. I am not a planner and I'm not a grocery shopper. No, and it's like they have options like 30 meal options each week with options for different tastes and nutritional guidelines. And people really love it. Home Chef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value taste,

and recipe ease. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life. Go to HomeChef.com slash Beach 2 Sandy. That's homechef.com slash beachchewsandy for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.com slash beach juiceandy must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. My next one is of one titled Ice Ballmaker with Lid for Whiskey Cocktails, Juice, Drinks, Drinks, Poverage, Crafting Accessories, White Elephant Festival, Funny Gift. Festival.

These are penises. And they like, oh, true. That's like the perfect thing for that. That's perfect. Penises. What were you going to say? I was just showing you that they use little weird emoji stickers of like tongue out winking.

Tongue emojis, yeah. And they put them on each tip. All right. Enough. So they're like, don't worry. It has a flared base. Everything about the tip. But you can't know the tip.

Or the flared base. I want to hear none of it. Well, here's the three star review. The color was skin. Oh, God. The style was multi-size. Skin? Yeah, it's the color of the tray.

is like a pinkish. You know, instead of saying like peach, they said skin. It's just dumb. Yeah, it is. Here's a three-star review. A gag item, that's really funny. It just isn't a good way to talk about

how funny these are without violating Amazon's terms of service. These will end up in the whiskey glasses of my friends. He'll take a look at the ice and ask me, what gives? I will point out their personalities remind me of a certain anatomical feature. And that these are the perfect compliment to that. They will be angry and I will laugh.

My only complaint is that they are three different sizes, so the ice in each class will be different. Also, I don't know who needs to hear this, but when ice melts and or cracks, it can have extremely sharp edges. So do not use these in a manner consistent with their likeness. The lack of any warning on the packaging gets this three stars. Nonetheless, worth every penny. Cheers. Can you imagine going to the urgent care with a huge gout? on your tongue and they're like, what happened? You're like,

oh, tongue. Okay. Sorry, that's not what I was thinking of. I guess not, but that almost- Bagina. What? Bucle. Belly button. No, get it out of there. Have you ever read, like, Kafka's old journal entries? Oh, boy, have I.

Because, like... I wrote a few of them. I knew they had your fingerboards all over it. That was this ghost writer. Yeah, I thought so. So it reminds me of this, little bit because it's sort of this way of speaking. It's this way of speaking. I will put them in my friends drinks and they will have a laugh and I will have a laugh. They will be angry and I will have a laugh. And then like the next day is like, didn't feel like socializing today. Like all my friends be

damned. And then the next day is like, why can't I write? I'd rather kill myself. Like just this bizarre. That's literally how they go. But yeah. Oh, no. Okay. Like they could slice your tongue open, but there's no adequate warning. I don't know. It just feels very. Kafka's if Kafka wrote Amazon review. And he's like, I'm being censored by Amazon terms and conditions or whatever. I love that he had to go look up what is not allowed to be. Yeah, well, it had to be make sure not to get banned. I imagine he has a spiral bound copy of it just to reference.

What's even better is this is like a free product they received. Oh my gosh. Well, I mean, they gave it a thorough review. I will say that. Yeah. For what it's worth. That is worth every penny. That's right.

Okay, so I've a review here of these cat ice cubes that I found on Amazon. I have a review those too. You do? Gosh, we just like the same novelty ice cube trays. It's almost like our Amazon somehow knows we might look at the same shit. So much weird smut online lately. Do you have one called Super Cute but a little hard to use? No.

Okay, interesting. That was my nickname in high school. Yeah, ha ha ha. These are cat-shaped ice cubes. molds, verified purchase, color cat. This is reviewed by Christy, three stars, super cute, but a little hard to use. Don't get me wrong. These are absolutely adorable cubes, but they are hard to fill, because once you reach the top of one or two, the water leaks around the rim, making it hard to fill the others without overflowing. They're also a little hard to get out once frozen. You

have to have strength in your hands, and I don't have that much, so it's difficult, not for old cat ladies, just young ones. Oh my God. And the room. So that's the bummer. I'll leave you on for the day. Oh, good. Not so sad.

Only for young cat ladies. This old lady can't... Can you imagine going to the urgent care and they're like, what? I just don't have the string I used to. My ice butt plug. No. I'm stuck in my vagina. Yeah.

But the flare base. Here's a three-star review of that same product. Which one? The cat one. Okay, you said a flared basin. Bye. I got sidetracked. Yeah, don't put that up your butt.

Don't put any of these up your butt. Please. I bought this as a gift for my cat-loving friend. I found out this weekend. She was too fucking old for it. Yeah, true. It's only for young people. Yeah, oopsies.

I bought this as a gift for my cat-loving friend. I found out this weekend that the ears tend to break off when you remove the ice cubes from the mold, giving the poor cats a diseased look. Oh. unfortunate. End of review. Yeah, you're your earless cat. I mean...

I don't know about it. I think it would still look fine. Yeah, there were a lot. Like, there was a frog mold I read reviews of where all the legs would always fall off. And, like, it was just like a constant problem. But yeah, I imagine you buy that ice cube thing with the cats and you're like, I gave us to my friend, but she just helped her cat pass over the rainbow bridge three days ago with these people with their gifts. This is of a 3D, three-horned dinosaur ice molds for whiskey. No, it's not.

There's some fun triceratops, animal mold, blah, blah, blah. What? Okay. I'm sorry. I actually have to read this whole thing because this is crazy. Can I see it? The picture? Oh, that's not what I expected.

I know. It's like a cutesy, adorable. Sorry. It's Ashwens. I just remembered it's Azure. She just, like, put her hand on my forehead. Very suddenly, but not like a smack. It was a press.

It was a press. The Holy Ghost moved through me in that moment. And now it's in me and I do not like it. The craziest part is the net is still fucking zoom in. I'd rather have an ice dildo up my butt than this Holy Spirit inside of me. One and the same, my friend. It's all about perception. Yeah, that's how you get closer to God.

Okay, here we go. I'm going to read this whole description. Now my forehead is like. I'm so. It's scared. My forehead is like on high alert. That was crazy. I really lost control of my faculties.

I apologize. YouTube.com slash something. Yeah, it is on video, unfortunately. Here we go. This is the title of this product. 3D. Three horn dinosaur ice molds for whiskey, cocktail drink bar,

fun triceratops animal mold for DIY resin taba, squishy chocolate soap candle. Gift for men, boys, handcraft lovers, two pack. Lover. Dude, this is crazy. Men boys love handcraft lovers.

Men boys handcraft lovers. This sounds like a Fallout boy song. It does. It does. Two back. Two back. It's these cute little triceratops guys that are sitting down like a little. They're like AI level cute but then like the picture, the stock image is like of a very classy like bourbon glass.

And so it looks very like that belongs. That looks like a nursery item, right? Like the ice cube looks like it belongs like on a vinyl decal in a nursery. And then like these men are drinking like scotch with them in it. It's weird. It's just plain fucking weird. Well, talk about weird. Here's a five-star repeat.

Okay. Titled, ribbed for your pleaser. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you know, I feel silly. Thanks. I feel silly because I'm just realizing something. What's that? This company sells multiple types of molds. And this review is for a different type of mold.

Oh, for the... But it's not better. For the T-Rex. No, for the pugs. It's worse. I know. That's why, yeah. Pugs, you can see day-to-day.

Pugs, you have to look in the eye. Dinosaurs are at least extinct. Are they? For now. I mean, I'm no fool. But, like, pugs? That makes me feel weird. Oh, it is weird.

Here we go. Not gonna lie. My fiance didn't know what this was and was confused as to why this was in the freezer and not the nightstand at first. What? The pug mold definitely looks like it's something else if you catch my drift. What? I'll be damned. The amount of detail in that thing compares to the Mona Lisa.

Definitely worth the price. Does it look like the Mona Lisa? Does it look like a dildo? Does it look like a pug or what? I don't know how the hell. I can't stand this. I can't stand it. I just am shun.

that I... It's untenable. None of this is okay. You can't say, oh, the way it looks, you know what I mean? And she wanted to put it up her butt and then not tell me what the hell is going on. I'm opening it. God. Large dog women kids puppy lover.

And again with the scotch glasses and then putting it up her. Yeah, it's the same picture. What could you even mean? I mean, what do you mean? What do you mean? Buy an ice cube dildo like a normal person. Not a pug. Yeah.

That's just... I don't... It's not crafted for that. They didn't... They didn't think so, but their partner did. And now they're like, yeah, they're right. They got a point. It's also like, what do you mean?

Put it in the night scene? Then it's a puddle. Ribbed for your pleaser. They're not saying put it in the night's... She said, they said that. They said my partner was confused why I was in the freezer and not something for the nights. like saying like, why is there a dildo in the freezer?

Not realizing it was an ice cube of a fucking pug. Which is everything saturating I'd like to think. Rich for her pleaser. But no, I don't understand why they would look at this little pug thing and think that. And think, well, we will, you know. Oh, no. Pug gifts for pug lovers. I can't just.

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Well, going on tour soon again, you know what that means. Us sharing a hotel room. Our sleeping habits get like really intertwined with each other's lives when we're on tour because I grind my teeth. Do you grind your tea? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we love Remy. Remy is something I do tick on the road with me. So I was in her doesn't have to, you know, deal with it.

But yes, teeth glenching, teeth grinding. We've both struggled with that for years. I've actually lost a tooth to it. It's really rough. But Remy makes these amazing nightguards that the impression kit comes straight to your door. You mail them in. And I really like the bottom ones because they, I don't know, they just work, they feel better in my mouth. I don't know.

I didn't even know that was an option until Remy showed up. Yeah, you get the same professional quality and comfort as a night guard from the dentist for 80% less of the cost. By just doing it at home with Remy. Yeah, really, really easy. Prioritize your teeth this month with Remy by using Code Beach to get 50% off your new nightguard with Remy Club. That's 50% off at shop, R-E-M-I.com slash Beach with Code Beach. Thank you, Remy for sponsoring this episode. My challenge was to find reviews where people were embarrassed by product names.

Yay. Yeah. For example, sex on the beach, right? Right. Yeah, I would never order that. I'd just be like, hey, can I show you what I want? Well, my first. And then you just like grab the juice and you're like,

the master mixer. And I'm like, yeah, I make it better than you. So. The beaches of the Ohio River. The beaches. Oh boy, classic. Okay. I have a review sent in by Jenny Sheher, Sheifer.

It's from Reddit, actually. It's a discussion about perfume. Oh. The title is, do you ever feel embarrassed by your perfume's name. And here's the, here's the post. I've been wearing intimate silhouette, which I love a lot lately. And I get compliments and people asking what I'm wearing. But sometimes I just don't want to say, oh, it's intimate silhouette to some random guy on the train or a teenage boy that I'm tutoring. Yeah, you're, you know what? You're on the right track with that take. That's the good. I was like,

it's whatever. And then I'm like, okay. I get that discomfort. If a man told me that as a teenager, I would be like, cool. I think I'm supposed to tell my mom about this. Like, I don't think that's okay. Also, like, why are you asking what she's wearing? Like,

what perfume is that? I don't know. Maybe you're interested? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, this tutor. Maybe you just know it's intimate. So what? She's like, man, this boy who I'm tutoring won't stop asking. I don't know how to tell him. Okay. Let's read on.

The name just seems a bit embarrassingly, well, intimate. Am I overreacting? Have you ever been hesitant because of the name when someone asked what you're wearing? All right. So now this got a lot, 416 comments. Like a lot of people are talking. I will say there are some perfumes that I have tried where I have like samples or whatever, where I'm like, I don't know about that.

And it's mostly because they're like in French or something. And I'm like, I don't know. You're like buffet? Bufie, yeah. Omelette du frommage. I smell like a cheesy omelet today. So here's some comments. Bitch too Sandy.

Oh my God, bitch to Sandy. I would shout that from the rooftops. And if anyone knows a perfumery perfumerous, it's center. We heard from one remember. Nope, I don't remember. I believe you. It was like a high end person. You said like don't say my name on the, don't say the name.

Oh, that person. Yeah. And they also wanted nothing to do with a bitch too sandy for obvious reasons. That's not what I was talking about. But I just want to give them a show up. I still use that. I do too. I feel like so badass when I use it.

Oh, it's great. But I'm not saying what it is. Because you're so embarrassed. Okay. The ones that would embarrass me are like if I get like a manly scent. Yeah. Those names are more embarrassing to me than like. The cringe ones for sure.

Like tall, dark and handsome. If I walked around wearing that, people will be like, oh, it's named after you. Yeah. Okay, this is one of the comments here. Two of my favorite perfumes are Bite Me and I am trash. That's good. So I absolutely understand hesitating a bit when someone asks what you're wearing. Love that.

Here's another. I just got a sample of more sex by Charlotte Tilbury. And I wanted to tell people about it because it smells really nice, but I feel so weird. Yeah, to say like, oh, I'm loving more sex. Like, that's hard. I mean, but then it brings me to, like, the mascaras that are always so bananas. Like, they are? The mascara names are insane.

I didn't know that was a thing. It's like, it's like they doubled, triple, quadrupled down now, and they're called things like sex times a thousand on your eyelashes. That's the word. What? Let me try again. Like, they're all about sex, better than sex mascara. Really? Yeah.

One is called, oh, my God. What is the one called? It's called something so embarrassing. Oh, penetrative sex mascara. It's shit like that. Cringe mascara names. Oh, yeah, Climax. The other one I use is perversion.

What? I'm serious. My favorite mascara used to be Urban Decay perversion. And I'd be like, I also like, do you have perversion? I mean, it's like, why are you calling it that? Like sexy booster, like just better than sex. Are you wearing today? Perversion.

Yeah, like it's weird. But it's weird, and it's always the eyelash, the mascara. There's something in your eyes. It looks so beautiful. That's my perversion. It's so strange. Oh, it's per. Oh, that?

Maybe it's Mabeline. Maybe it's perversion. This was sent in by Anna Sheeher, who said, I wish this was my only worry in life. Can't agree. This is a review of bitch and sauce from Target. That sounds good. Chipotle almond dip, eight ounce. And this is a one-star review from this January

Would not recommend. Stupid. What if kids want to see the title? End of review. Two guests found this helpful. What if kids want to see the title? What does that even mean? Hey, Dad, what's the title of this spicy hummus you're eating?

What's the title of it? Oh, Barry Me, I hope you'd never ask me that. You're about to learn. This kid on tutoring, keep asking me what kind of sauce I've put? On my wings. Oh, my God. Imagine if the hummus went sideways and started getting called like perverted, sexy stuff. I'm sure that there's something out there.

Bichin. Are you joking with me right now? That's hilarious. You know, life is stressful enough where it's like when a financial issue pops up, it's like world ending sometimes. It feels that way. Yeah. We're so glad that Rocket Money exists and more than that sponsors our show and the, this episode because they help you track subscriptions and help you even cancel unwanted ones

within the app with a few taps. You can stop paying for things you don't use. And there's like someone to help you through that if you're looking to cut some costs or just like get better management or an eye on your spending, which, you know, was necessary for me. Yeah. No, that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking, yeah, all of the above.

All of it. They've done a lot for me financially. And just made those scary moments a lot less scary. Correct. Yes. feel more manageable. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings.

Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash beach. That's rocketmoney.com slash beach. Rocketmoney.com slash beach. So this lovely copy from Rula mentions, talk about a time you could have really used therapy, and I would say to that almost every, all times. Listen to any of our episodes. Those are times we need there.

We should have had an on-call therapist at all times. But it is hard, like in all seriousness, to find therapy not only like online that's convenient for you, but like also that takes your insurance, which I think is why Rula is such a big deal. Finding a therapist is hard enough, but taking your insurance is where things fall short usually. But that's why Rula does things differently. They've partnered with over 100 insurance plans, making the average copay just $15 per session. I've used them successfully to find a therapist and I recommend them to any of my friends. Whenever someone mentions being in between therapists, I go, oh.

Have you heard about Rula? No wait lists. Come on. No, it's great. Join on up. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit Rula.com slash Beach2 Sandy to get started.

That's RULA.A.com slash Beach2 Sandy. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget. So this is a review from rateyourmusic.com. I'm going to read the review, and then I'll tell you the name of the band. So it's 4.5 stars. I'm still embarrassed to say the name of this,

band in mixed company, but I am very proud to be a super fan. That was a review of the album Brain Drops by Tropical Fuck Storms. You know about that. I do know about them. Wow. Okay, so there's a lot of like bands that you like that have names that are probably shocking to some in mixed company. Like not necessarily our mixed company, but like. Viagra Boys.

My Viagra Boys shirt I wear sometimes and I'm like, I got to make sure I know where I'm wearing this because so people aren't weird about it. In case you get a look, you know what it's about. Which is silly. It's the, it's Viagra. Like who gives a shit, but some people do. Another was Andrew Jackson Jihad. Oh, yeah.

I mean, they've now renamed themselves to AJJ. I love when they just shorten it. They're like, let's pretend. Yeah. That's another one. Yeah, they're a lot like that. Viet Cong was a band. They now are, I think, preoccupations.

Wow. They changed their name through protests at one of their shows. They were like, yeah, we weren't really like even, I think they were like, we're not, they didn't feel passionately enough about the name. We're like, yeah, we probably should have thought about this more. Just like put a little more effort behind it. So I think their first album, yeah, their first album still named that. And also like, yeah, why are you naming yourselves? This is random.

Well, speaking of musical artists, I have the last thing that I brought here, which is from, it's from another music blog. and it's of Fergavicious Oh. Which is a song by none other than Furgey herself. Oh yeah. Furgy Ferg.

All right, Ferg, I've been pleasantly surprised with the project so far, but if you want that trend to continue, there is no way I'm going to allow any more track names like Fergavicious. It all but bites Ferggy's shit and I'm almost embarrassed to say the name out loud.

Right after I just made fun of him for creating stupid names, I actually thought, it was hilarious when he described his fans as traplordians. Oh. This is, by the way, an ASAP, Fergie, I guess. Oh. Oh.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. A sap Ferg and Fergie. ASAP. What? It was ASAP Ferg someone different? Yeah. Oh, I did not know that. Different than Fergie?

Yeah. Oh, yes, very. Oh, my God. That makes this so much more embarrassing that it's called Fergavicious. I thought it was literally like. So is this an. actual, I'm confused. Now I'm totally confused because I really thought this was about Fergie, but it's actually

now about this completely other musical artist. Wow, that's so embarrassing. I don't know. I'm so confused. No, you're 100% right. I just literally just assumed it was Fergavicious. I just had to assume could be none other than Fergie. But it is other than Ferggy.

It's actually ASAP Ferg. Yeah. Okay, great. So let's start. Let me do that again. Fergavicious. Here's a review. of Fergavicious.

This is an ASAP FERG. Yeah. Track, not Furgy Ferg, which I thought was what was happening. But it's still, it's honestly worse this way because it feels more cringe. I was like, trap lord. I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, what a diverse blog this is. And then I was like, this is a collab between Fergie and ASAPF Herg?

I was like, that's, I don't know. When you said that out loud, I was like, I've gone astray. You're like, I did something wrong. I've got to find my string and walk my way back to the entrance of the forest. Review of Fergavicious. All right, Ferg, I've been pleasantly surprised with the project so far, but if you want that trend to continue, there is no way I'm going to allow any more track names like Fergavicious.

It all but bites Fergie's shit, and I'm almost embarrassed to say the name out loud. Right after I just made fun of him for creating stupid names, I actually thought it was hilarious when he described his fans as traplordians. I'm not sure he was trying to be funny, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. the beat features more of the spacey feel, but our host fails to say anything very interesting.

Can't say I enjoyed this song, but if he was just trying to be weird as fuck, he's succeeding in a major way. Anyway. That's good. Embarrassed to say the name of a song. Yeah, that's wow. Do you feel that way about any fall-up voice songs?

I imagine there's at least one. Yeah. I imagine they're a lot. Well, it depends on what company. If, like, I were meeting someone for the first time and they were like, what's your favorite fall of boy song? I'd probably say something like, not really wild to say all

loud, you know? I'd say like, hum, hallelujah, you know. Yeah. But like, you know. Janas, gay is not a synonym for shitty. P.

It's from the B, the B track, B-side, you know. Oh, it's a B-side. It's a B-side track. Yeah. There's some wean songs that like, yeah.

I like that I'm like, eh, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe keep that off your shirt. Maybe, maybe. So thank you for listening today. I appreciate you all for being here. Anything fun to say?

Yeah, we're going on tour soon. We're really excited. Please buy your tickets. You can go to be HDSandy.com to check that out. We're going to be reading reviews of all the different towns we go to and having a grand old time. So let us know what to look for in your city and what to read reviews of in your city. And anything else, Andy. Oh, Patreon, we've been more active over there.

Have we? Well, we did Clippy and that was a nightmare. That was a nightmare. Yeah, so it got worse than you could ever imagine. And even in the comments, people were like, wow, that was actually a lot. I thought I wanted this and maybe I didn't. I avoided the comments. It was very funny.

People were like, wow, it's just as bad or worse. It got pretty bad. That was something. That was something. Tetris blocks also on there, really also unpleasant. So, you know, that's where you want to go if you want to find things that make you and comfy. Other than that, we're just happy to be here with you every Wednesday and we'll see again next week.

See you then. Bye. Beach 2 Sandy Water Too Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Sheeper. The show is edited and mixed by Sarah Borhees Wendell of VW Sound. Wow, that's embarrassing. Hello and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you knew the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. Where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long.

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