Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 407: Reviews of Deodorant

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach, too, Sandy Water to Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sister host, Christine. And I'm your brother host, this Andy. Hi, everyone. Welcome. We are reading reviews of deodorant today.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I have a really exciting update that was sent in by Zoe. It's not an update. It's just an informational act. About deodorant? Yes. Oh, God. Did you know that deodorant became a thing because of a woman named Edna Murphy? She adapted a formula that her father, by the way, I don't know if any of this is true.
Starting point is 00:01:07 This is just what Zoe said. Zoe, they, she wrote in and said this. So don't blame me if it's wrong. Did I Google it? Absolutely not. She adapted a formula that her father, a surgeon, used to make his hands to stop sweating. She called her deodorant, odor, oh no. Odor, oh, no.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Yikes. But when she had a hard time marketing it because... I wonder why. Odor oh. It's spelled like this. What the? So we could just be making this up. But when she had a hard time marketing it because people didn't think sweating was an issue,
Starting point is 00:01:46 She started an ad campaign to convince people that sweating was actually very embarrassing. But that's what happened with toothpaste. That's the story behind toothpaste. Is it like people did it brush their teeth and they're like, that's disgusting. You're gross. And that's what people started. So like it worked. I have to say, I don't know if I'm mad about it.
Starting point is 00:02:05 So yeah, thank you Zoe for that little insight that we don't know if it's verifiable at all. And there's no way to double check. So unfortunately, that's how it is. Unfortunately, that's just how things go for us. That being said, do you have something you'd like to bring to the table for us today? Was I supposed to? No one emailed me some bullshit story about deodorant. I guess what I meant was do you want to read the first review?
Starting point is 00:02:25 Oh, sure. But I was trying to sound more polished. Sure, sure, sure. I have something here from Lee, they, them, who sent in a review of metacube deodorant, cogic acid, and turmeric for women and men aluminum-free. Vanilla and pistachial. It's a lot of things that you're saying that have smells. All day odor protection.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Odor, oh no. Order, oh no. Here's a one-star review. Maria says this. Too strong. Just got this product. I was excited, so I put it on right away. And my goodness, it is potent.
Starting point is 00:02:59 More like a pinia colada. It closed up my lungs and my asthma flared. Very disappointing. I was so hoping to like this. Another product I am wasting money on and having to discard. End of review. She's dead now.
Starting point is 00:03:12 She's dead now. She's certainly. There's no way. She can't survive a natural deodorant. This woman's not going to last very long. No. In this cruel world. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Remember when I thought someone was in the Tupperware? Probably heard. You did think that about some random Tupperware we saw on the side of the road. Well, it was buried, and I thought that someone's in there, certainly. What else would it be the four? Why else would you bury a Tupperware? Give me one good reason. I don't think there is a good reason, too.
Starting point is 00:03:39 So remember Zoe? They sent this review of Salt and Stone, all natural deodor. Now, I didn't get all the details of what's... Specific fragrance notes were in it. Salton Stone, it says right there. Well, I know, but that one, wasn't that Salt and Stone? Excuse me? Salt and Stone is a type of, is a brand.
Starting point is 00:03:56 I thought that's the brand that you just read. MediCube? No, MediCube, no one. I mean, I know both brands. I'm sorry. You know MediCube? Yes, it's like a big deal. I learned about it recently.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Oh, MediCube's a big deal. My bad MediCube. I don't know what it is. Oh, no, I hope they sponsor us if they're such a big deal. that that thing was an AI company, but it was like fine, FinTech, and I kept saying it, like it was a thing, and then you pretended you knew what it was to make me feel like a fool. And now it's happening all over again. I don't really know who's the fool is.
Starting point is 00:04:30 We both are. Yelling at me. Okay. You send in by Zoe. Salt and Stone all natural deodorant. One star review by Maddie called, I smell worse when I wear this. I hate. to do this because I love salt and stone, but for $20, this better be at least good deodorant,
Starting point is 00:04:50 if not great, and this is just terrible. One, it does not last. You will have greasy armpits for 20 minutes, the scent for 30, and then you are on your own in the sweat department. Two, makes me smell worse somehow? I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but whenever I use this, I tend to smell more like B-O than I would if I just didn't wear deodorant. It's so strange, and I hate that. Three, leaking on my hands? It has started running down my hands. Whenever I go to open or close, it literally embarrassed to own this product. Love everything else. Salt and Stone, though. Frown face.
Starting point is 00:05:21 End of review. Don't let anyone see that I own Salt and Stone. I got my fingers. Deodorant. It's so embarrassing. So embarrassing. Go put yourself at a Tupperware like a normal person. This fucking blanket, get it out from behind me.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Why? It's so cold. It's 100 degrees outside. It's so cold. There's no air in this room. We're in the attic. Thank you. You're welcome. It's a big deal.
Starting point is 00:05:51 I don't know. Yeah, you don't. Here's one, Charlie, she-her sent in a review of secret deodorant. Not a, it is no secret deodorant. It's secret brand. Secret shoppers. And it's from the Walmart website, one-star review. Bonnie says this.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Never received this item. I am a woman and received a man's deodorant in my order. I therefore have no opinion other than. And that was pathetic. End of review. Holy shit. What is her name? Bonnie.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Bonnie, what the fuck? Bonnie, come on. Bonnie, chill the fuck out. Holy moly. No, the problem is put on that man's deodorant was like, why am I feeling so alpha? Alpha Bonnie's here. Alpha Bonnie. Where's Beta Bonnie?
Starting point is 00:06:36 I miss her. We all do. Bonnie. No, no, no. Speaking of sweating. Here's another review from Zoe. This is a one-star review. you're going to hate all of these that I have one star of Loomy Deodorant.
Starting point is 00:06:54 A verified purchase called Beware of oily stained clothing. Beware of oily stained clothing. Every pair of dress pants and blue jeans have an oily stain in the crotch area. Don't believe Loomi when they say it doesn't stain. I've used both the solid stick and the invisible lotion with the same results. I'd give it a zero rating if he let me. End of review. And then Lumi said, oh no, we're so sorry this happened.
Starting point is 00:07:21 That's not the experience we want for you. Please reach out. Stained crotch? Stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you. So is this invisible lotion for the balls or what? I think it's like body deodorant, you know, where it's like, Lumie is like all over. I like, I use it.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Oh, it's like that's their thing. All right is like, oh, I didn't know that. Sorry, they sell like all body deodorants. Okay. I'm assuming that at least, I'm assuming maybe one of those products was, yeah. We don't know. Well, here's something that Donica sent in. Ocean surfed deodorant.
Starting point is 00:07:53 So it's a speed stick. Classic. Classic. This is a one-star review. Chemical smell. Smells like chemical floor cleaner. I will sue you at the review. Set that car wash.
Starting point is 00:08:10 So litigious, these people. I mean, it smells like chemicals, I will sue you. That is how this worked. Yeah. Can you imagine something smells like chemicals, you can just sue them? I think people have tried that, and I don't think it works. Here is a five-star review, also sent by Zoe. This is of the original Old Spice scent, like the, I don't know, whatever the traditional one is,
Starting point is 00:08:34 reviewed on Oldspice.com, five stars with the title, Discontinued, What Gives? Why ruin a good thing? I can't find this deodorant anywhere anymore. I was worried it might be discontinued, because it was giving people cancer or something. Is it? What are you not telling us? Jesus.
Starting point is 00:08:53 I will sue you. Men are simple. When we find something that works, we stick with it for life. I don't understand why y'all are trying to push these little boy sense. When the classic original is all that is man. Or it's all that is man. Alpha. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Whoa. Discontinue the other sense. This is giving such like, day man, like, little boy sense? Like, you don't say that. Do you know what I mean? Like, why would you phrase it that way? Like, there's better ways to phrase this.
Starting point is 00:09:25 That's what boy scent is not it, okay? Oh, gosh. Discontinue the other sense. This is the only one we need, unless it's cancer causing. Is it? End of review. They brought that up again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:36 But hey, they're like, I'm just asking questions. Because I will see you with my friend, Bonnie or whatever. Beater bombing. Careful how you answer, but I'm just going to ask him. Alpha's, Beta Bonnie is going to put on some old spice. Turn it out of the money. Oh, yeah. And you better be careful.
Starting point is 00:09:50 But that's why they discontinued it. Oh, shit. It was so dangerous. And they were like, uh-oh, we got to turn her back. Little boy scents, go. Little boy scents only from that. We got to get her little boy scent on her. Bathe in the little boy scent.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Stop. Like, it's really, that's just bad. For, like, set notes on like for Granica, what would little boy scent? Well, I'm thinking of what the actual deodorants are because there's like one called like Thunder Rain or some shit. Like, I mean, I guess they're just saying it's too emo and like not manner. enough, you know, as like classic original. Because now they have like all these like...
Starting point is 00:10:20 I guess. If that's your problem, just go use a fucking armand hammer, like deodorant. But that doesn't smell like a man. It smells like a pastry. It sounds like a pastry. What fucking pastries are you eating? Don't eat pastries. You know this.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Why would you ask me something like that? Why would you bring up pastries? It's not. I'm so hot. I don't know. It smells like baking soda is what I meant to say because it's Armand Hammer. But you said pastries. Well, because that's what you used to make pastries. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:10:50 I've never eaten a pastry. Like, I know it smells like baking soda. Fine. How does it? Does this help? It smells like skunk spray. No, it smells like baking soda. You're right.
Starting point is 00:11:00 I just was surprised when you said pastries and I did not make the connection. Oh, I thought you did and you were just. No. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Uh-oh. I meant because of baking soda, which is not what, yeah. It's not a good analogy at all. Because baking soda is not exactly a little boy scent.
Starting point is 00:11:18 That's who. Says me right now. You are basically the gingerbread man. You cannot tell me. What does that mean? You cannot deter me. He's sitting here trying to tell me what's on. I'm basically the gingerbread man.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Let's dig into that one. What the fuck does that mean? I don't. Just change subject. Talk about something else. Honestly, though. Okay. And I'm not just saying this.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Gingerbread could be a really good little boy scent Right? Old Spice does make a gingerbread scent. There you go! That's maybe where this all came from psychologically. We just had to get there and... I think that was like very like Roar Shock, like, free and youngy in, all the other ones too.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Oh no, not all of them. All of them. I thought it was pretty Kafka-esque. Big time. You all know how much I love my shark shirts, right? there's one other item of clothing. Actually, there's like three that I got from Quince that I also wear again and again. It's this black sweatshirt and it's this fleecy material.
Starting point is 00:12:43 It is so, so cozy. And every time I wear it, people are like, oh, that's so chic. It's always Quince or a shark shirt, but usually it's quince when I'm leaving the house at least. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and washable silk. These are like timeless, classy designs. They're thoughtfully crafted. And everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.
Starting point is 00:13:06 They work directly with ethical manufacturers and cut out the middlemen so you're paying for the quality but not the markup. Find the fall pieces you'll reach foremost at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash Beach2 Sandy. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's QINCE.com slash Beach2 Sandy. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
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Starting point is 00:14:13 Yeah. It's a clear gel, unscented antiperspirant deodorant. Here we go. One star by Heather. His new formula does not work? I smell in one day. I do not like the new formula. It is different.
Starting point is 00:14:28 It smells different, and it does not work. I need to shower at the end of the day when I just shower that morning and put on deodorant. Nothing else has changed in my life. I know how to wash my body. I'm 58 years old and your product no longer works. I'm sitting here on the couch and I can smell myself and I'm watching TV. I don't have my nose in my armpit. Please bring back the old formula.
Starting point is 00:14:51 She sounds like when you hear on like a movie where they're like, oh, like it's mom calling and it's like nobody's mom's really like that. I'm sitting here watching TV, not with my nose. My nose isn't even in my armpit and I smell myself. It's literally like the time Elsie said to me or somehow said to me, she took me out for dinner during calls. college and then said, by the way, don't ever put pennies in your mouth. What? I said, pardon me? And she said, or any coins for that matter.
Starting point is 00:15:33 And I was like, what? Had she just learned that herself? Zika was going around. I'd shit you not. And she was like, there are these germs. And I was like, is putting coins in your mouths? This woman belongs to a country club. Like, I don't really understand.
Starting point is 00:15:51 But like maybe Sheila took one look at me and went, uh-oh, we've got like a walking case of patient zero. Yeah. Yeah, this is a, yeah. Just clanging around in her nickels in her mouth. Yeah. I remember her saying that and going like, pardon me. And that feels like that. Like, what did you just say?
Starting point is 00:16:08 Yeah. Nobody said you were going to do that. Put your nose in. Yeah. Okay. Also, what is with people reviewing deodorant saying how old they are? Because I also. That's true.
Starting point is 00:16:17 I am a woman. It's true. I'm a 50. I have another one of that where it's like similar vibes. Yeah, yeah, no, I did see a lot of that. It's like, okay, congratulations. I will say a lot of people speaking for their husbands. Oh, that is so fucked up.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Yeah, I know. I said, don't you dare put words in that man's mouth. Don't you dare try to step above? He would not ever even put on those little boy sense. I was going to say something really fucked up. Okay. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:43 No, not me. I would never. This is from Andy, they them, and this is the Alvira All Natural Roll-Oond Deodorant, aloe unscented. one star by Sharon. The title is drippy. Oh, no, not more drippy. So.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Dribbling. So thin and runny drips down as you are applying it. Whoa. And then Andy said, don't say drippy in the email. And then I just want to read last thing here. This was also sent in by Andy of Tom's of Maine,
Starting point is 00:17:17 unscended aluminum-free, one-star by B. I've used Tom's for many years. They changed the formula. It is horrid. First, so gummy, it sticks together. Oh. And I just wanted to read that also because Andy said, also do not say gummy.
Starting point is 00:17:33 There's so many words that are just being used in these reviews. Gross. You can't even scub off the stickiness or film it creates, and it doesn't work. Only half coverage. Old formula was great. Worked 24 hours, no issues. Why change it?
Starting point is 00:17:47 It worked unless for greed. Or cancer. Or cancer. How's the other one? Unless for greed. Why are people asking so many questions about their deodorants? I mean, really, horrid. Haven't enough words.
Starting point is 00:17:57 I'm like, you've had a lot of words. Yeah. Haven't enough words. I meant to mention the title is, horrible new formula absolutely wasted my money. It's one deodorant. Yeah. Fucking relax.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Like, literally relax. Yeah. Gotta have a coronary. I think we need to put our head in the sand about more stuff. Drippy gummy deodorant being one of them. Like, don't tell me about that. Just like too far. Just move on.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Just keep going. It's like they think. Don't question it. It's like they think intimacy is like bad or is like, then they're so intimate with their words like this where I'm like, this is far too intimate for me, you know? Sharing this with the public audience. Too far. Like that's for your therapist. The gumbiness.
Starting point is 00:18:33 The drippiness, the gumbiness. Going down your arm. That's private talk. Private talk only. Yeah, all the way down to your toes. Alexander, I need you to actually stop right now. I hate it so much. It's upsetting to me and everybody listening.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Oh, no. Deeply. Oh, no. Next you're going to tell me that a Metacube is a big deal. Alex Zanart, it's not funny. Oh, no, Big Metacube is going to get us. It makes me mad when you say that. Can you tell us? Kind of, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Well, don't worry. I'm moving on to your other favorite. Now, talk about a big deal. What? This is of a product by Manscaped. Oh, good. Just what I needed it here. Anna sent this one in. Please, mansplained this Manscape to me. Manscaped.
Starting point is 00:19:19 So it's man. The word, what it means is landscape. It's a portmanteau. Now, a portmanteau is when you have two words. Oh, yeah, I do speak French. You know what ambivalent means? Oh, my God. I do now that you taught me.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Yeah, thanks. Y'all, ambivalent? Look it up. It doesn't mean what you think it means. Unless you're all smarter than us, which is probably not possible. It's not. Not. Please.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Statistically. Statistically. I've seen a bell. curve. I've seen the size of your damn head. It's pretty big. Humongous. It's pretty big.
Starting point is 00:19:55 That's where I fit all the depressies. Anyway. This is manscaped product is the crop preserver. Men's ball deodorant. Male care hygiene, moisturizer, anti-chafeing, groin protection with cooling aloe vera refined scent. Finally.
Starting point is 00:20:15 I mean, finally. Yeah, it's cruelty-free. You know who probably is rolling over in her goddamn grave? Jane Goodall. I don't know why, but she probably just for fun, I thought. Didn't they give her one of those like hamster wheels down there?
Starting point is 00:20:32 She did die, right? She's one of those people that I thought was dead for so long. And then we saw her in person. And we were like, oh my God. And she was holding, we've talked about it. She was holding a stuff gorilla and it felt very surreal. It was really surreal. It kind of was.
Starting point is 00:20:46 I mean, it was. Because like we didn't know she was going to be, it was very weird. We didn't know she was going to be alive. We didn't, let alone right in front of us. Let alone, like, in front of us with a stuffed monkey. That felt very weird. I was going to say, who was going to roll in her grave as Edna Murphy, the one who created
Starting point is 00:21:00 all this nonsense. And now it's turning the little boy sense and ball, man-scape ball lotion in whatever the fuck. Like, she's really from Odor Ono to like. Or she's shed a tear, like a tear of joy of like, look how far my creation is gone. Like, I'm creating, I've created this all of this. She's just been reincarnated as like the CEO of Manscaped, like Silicon Valley. like now she's just building the deodorant empire. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Yeah. That's a cool idea. That's a cool idea. Yeah. It's like how Mr. Kleenex was reincarnated as the CEO of Dude Wipes. It's just like that. Just like that. Same thing.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Here is a review of this ball deodorant from Manscape. It's 100 degrees in here. I'm going to die. Don't worry. This was written by Captain Spanky of Nazareth. I really thought. you couldn't surprise me. I really thought, like, this far into the episode.
Starting point is 00:21:53 I really thought, I was thinking, she has no idea what's about to hit her. I'm done with surprises in that got me. Captain Spanky of Nazareth. This is a two-star verified purchase. There are two flavors of ball sauce. Buy the black label one. I bought both flavors of ball sauce. This one is second best by quite a gap.
Starting point is 00:22:13 You should buy the black label, not the blue. Ball sauce, end of review. And no, I don't have my nose in my groin right now. Yes, you totally do. You know, you know all that every once in a while you can just, you're watching TV and you just smell your balls. Alexander, really, you're upsetting me. I know you're joking. Ball havers, you get it.
Starting point is 00:22:33 We're on the same page. Stop saying stuff like that. Sometimes you're sniffing your fingers after touching your balls. Why would you say that? Stop it. A bachelor life. Am I right, ball havers? Are you trying to like, mulchillard?
Starting point is 00:22:47 make me fucking d-fate? Probably. So I used to avoid buying glasses for so long because they were so expensive. And by the time you got like the prescription and everything in there, you were paying like an arm and a leg. But Zeni is one of my favorite sponsors because the quality of the glasses is awesome. But they are also actually affordable enough to buy like multiple pairs. So you can have like, you know, I love my heart ones.
Starting point is 00:23:18 They're actually upstairs in my office. But my heart ones that like turn pinky in the. sunlight. And I mean, I have like some really wide frame ones when I want to look, you know, academic. And yeah, Zennie's just awesome. Every time I wear them, I get a compliment and that just makes my day. Zeni is an online eyewear shop with stylish prescription glasses, sunglasses, sunglasses, and customizable lens options at prices that make it easy to own more than one pair, all starting at under $30.00. You go to Zennie.com, pick a frame, enter your prescription, customize your lenses, and they ship right to your doors. No store visit. There's not that
Starting point is 00:23:49 pressure to buy. And you can also do the try-on, which like works really well. and is very fun also. As scratched up pair has done its job, upgrade today with Zeni. Go to Zenni.com slash podcast and use code Podcast 15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all U.S. orders over $65. The style sell out, so don't sit on it. That's ZENNNI.com slash podcast promo code, podcast 15. You know, when it's just super hot and you're like in your sheets,
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Starting point is 00:24:36 And unlike synthetic cooling technology, as they call it, or chemically treated fabrics, yick, the cooling is literally woven into the structure of the cotton, which is just so cool. It's very comfortable, very cool. I love to sleep with a window open, even in the summertime. And it can get very hot. I do admit that. but the bowl and branch sheets have made it a lot easier to withstand that and make it an enjoyable sleeping experience. So I highly recommend.
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Starting point is 00:25:33 The lottery, winning the lottery. Got it, got it. So here are a few reviews that I found. This is a three-star review of the California State Lottery headquarters. This is by Jack. In advance of the March 30th, 2012 Megamillions drawing
Starting point is 00:25:48 valued at $500 million, which I expect to win, I am now accepting new Yelp friend requests, useful, funny, and cool votes, and all entertaining compliments. Wow. After all, who doesn't want to be friends with a rich guy? And then they proceeded to put the website for megamillions.com in the next line.
Starting point is 00:26:11 For what purpose? For us to go to, to take a look at, I don't know. Take a candor. Take a good look, see. No, he just wants us to up that mega millions. Yeah. Did anybody comment? 14 people found it helpful.
Starting point is 00:26:24 26 people loved this. Did he say penis? Maybe. What the fuck is going on? Okay, people found this helpful. Penis found it helpful? You said it. You said penis like three times.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Is this a bet you're doing? I have to leave. I have to get out of here. I must. It is 400 degrees. So it, yeah. Big degrees. Were you just waiting for any word?
Starting point is 00:26:54 Yeah. I'm going to stop talking now. Stop cocking now. Believe it. when I see it. Here is a two-star review of the same place as by Joe. Who wants to join a pact? If any Yelpers wins Powerball or Mega Millions,
Starting point is 00:27:13 they have to throw one hell of a U-Y-E, I think is a something Yelp event, ultimate Yelp event. Don't do that. That's insane that they would agree. I did not want to Google it. I'm so glad you didn't because I don't want to even give it another thought. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:28 As I type this, it's very likely let someone, probably some people, just got a whole lot richer. What? Are you talking about? Who knows, Christina? Maybe we'll find out. Maybe if you'd listen for once. I don't want to. I'm one of those people who plays megamillions are powerful only when the jackpot is high enough to make the news.
Starting point is 00:27:48 $636 million certainly made the news. There are so many ways to calculate the utility of one or $2 compared to a potential payout. Look at it this way. Do you know any mathematicians who play? For me, the utility of a dollar is lower than... Do you know any mathematicians? I'm notetitians, end of question.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Me? I do no. No. No. Oh, I do. I know him. Are he? He's alive. I was going to say.
Starting point is 00:28:15 He might not be. When was the last time you heard of? Like 45 minutes ago. Do you think he's dead now? Can you imagine? I was just. I weirdly could imagine. Didn't we like talk about Jimmy Buffett and then release an episode of the day you die?
Starting point is 00:28:29 But we'd already, yeah. We've killed a few people this way. Sorry. It's not like on purpose. It's with integrity. With integrity? Wink. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Oh. Okay. From me, the utility of a dollar is lower than the chance of winning $636 million, even when the odds are infinitesimally slal. Did anyone win? The suspense is killing me. Just won a dollar. Woo-hoo. I will spend my winnings in one place.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Thank you. Let it ride. End of review. Oh, my God. What year was that written? Before hobbies existed? It says over 12 years ago. Yeah, that sounds right.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Here's another one, one star. If you win, these lazy asses take eight to ten weeks to pay. Oh, me playing the lottery and paying for the tickets in eight to ten weeks. Is he still waiting for his dollar? Can you imagine the same person? Probably is. Where's my dollar? I want to just spend it all in one place.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Yeah, can you imagine? I'm just like, I'm not paying you for the lottery ticket until you pay me for my winnings. It's like, well, it's not quite how that was. Chicken and the egg, right? Right. Beautiful. One more from this place, five stars. This is what Ricky says.
Starting point is 00:29:40 I want $1,000 on a $10 ticket. Can't complain. Coronavirus kind of delayed me getting paid, but I won $990. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. End of review. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Hell yeah, Ricky. Ricky, don't post about this. Delete that post immediately. Yeah. People would be crawling out of the woodwork. Over six years ago, though. Oh, all right. It's too late.
Starting point is 00:30:02 It's too late for Rick. God, they die too fast or younger soon or something like that. That's what we always say. Here's one last thing. Andy, they, them, had this sent in something that was a little unique. That sounds right. A thread from lottery post.com. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Which is a lottery forum. Yeah. Which. It's so necessary, yeah. Like, the most recent post was yesterday. It was an article about a California man losing a lawsuit over a 700. $150,000 lottery ticket he reassembled with tape to fake winning. And also, fun fact, Connecticut Lottery launches digital ticket sales and new website.
Starting point is 00:30:43 So basically, if you're interested in lottery news and PR. I'm sure someone is, clearly. Someone's got to be. It's kind of interesting that this exists. I guess. For some people. Well, here is what Treesla had to say. This was written January 2004.
Starting point is 00:31:03 So, she her shranda. She her shrenda. I miss Shredda. Well, here's what Treesla's got going on. Hey, last night I had a dream that I won the Scratch Off Instant Game win for life. Holy shit. Last night, I had a dream that I won the Scratch Off Instant Game win for life. It felt so good.
Starting point is 00:31:26 I thought I actually won. In another dream, this guy was shooting five geese and there was a dead dog on his property. Does anybody have any advice on what I should do? Can be out of here, please? I must leave. I must go. It's time for me to go. Thank you so much for having me.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Started it like lowercase, all lowercase. Like no, and then just simply repeated and then did all caps the rest of the fucking dog. What is going on? This is like what a notes app is for, like the notes app. Like for this, for that purpose. It's 2004. Yeah, I know. And it's like, thank God technology is caught up with us because I can't be like,
Starting point is 00:32:05 absorbing this type of energy. As if Trisla isn't still doing this all over the internet, Trisla is probably like infiltrating so much of my energy, my oric field. Good, good. Trisla, get out of my energy space. Well, here are some responses. Wait, okay, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Let me just take first a moment. So I like that she went to the lottery. So this is interesting because if I had a dream like that, I more likely would go, if I were a forum posting gal, which I'm not, more of a lurker myself. I would be more likely to post to a dream interpretation forum than a lottery forum. You see what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:41 And this is interesting because she's like, what should I do? Like, because I think her goal is to like win the lottery. Whereas like my goal would be like, what does this mean? Yeah. Versus like, okay, is this a sign that I'm going to win the lottery? And what is the time?
Starting point is 00:32:52 So like five, one, you know, like what's the meaning? I mean, like you're not going to jump to a different, like if you're a fan of cruises and you have a dream, that's nothing to do with cruises, you're going to probably ask your cruise? associated with this website. Oh, okay, okay. I thought this was like a first time. Like she's like, I had this dream. I just came right. Maybe. But you're right. In my head, it was someone who like. She's got lotto on the mind, on the brain.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Like when Yelpers post these forum posts and you're like, why would anyone ask this to other Yelpers? Truly. Because that's their community. U.I.E. when you have your U.S. The United Yelp members. So Hungry Root is just the coolest because basically what it does is it learns your preferences over time. And it builds you like this shopping cart of groceries and males and meals and right to your door. And they're like these brand, these trusted brands. That's how I discovered, like Ithaca hummus. I know I talk about that a lot. But they also sent these like peanut butter
Starting point is 00:33:45 pretzels recently that I wouldn't have thought to buy. But it gets more personalized over time. And they've actually got over 50,000 chefcrafted recipes. So it's not just snack food, right? They've also got a thousand grocery items. Their variety is pretty constant. Most recipes are ready in just 15 minutes. And there's always something new to try, which is another thing that I love. Plus, Leona gets snacks and things and meals that she likes, which, you know, everybody. is happy. You're going to love HungryRoot as much as we do. For a limited time, get 40% off your first order, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to HungruRoot.com slash Beach2 Sandy and use code Beach2 Sandy. That's HungryRoot.com slash Beach 2 Sandy to get 40% off your first box and a free
Starting point is 00:34:25 item of your choice for life. FJA says this. I don't have any advice, but I've heard people talk about a book that gives you numbers based on your dreams. Wait, what? Like, for the the lottery or just like, I think for the lottery. No way. That exists? I don't know. They should make that on two. Like, FJA said this, it might exist back in 2004.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Should I ask Zoe? No. They might know. No. No, absolutely not. But you know what? This should be like, you know how they do like Charles Gambino like made his name on like a rap generator?
Starting point is 00:35:04 They should have that for the lot of dream number. Like writing your dream and it will interpret it into numbers for you. Like that's what that book sounds like, but they should have it as like a generator. Do you think you could find this specific dream in there? Is that how that works? You'd be like, um, dead geese? dog hunting, whatever. Equals.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Well, and then they said this after that about the book, they said, it sounds like the guy that was hunting was a bad shot. Don't accept any hunting invitations. That's an advice. Hey, there was a gun in your dream. There might be a gun somewhere. It's called Chekhov's Gun. Ever heard of it?
Starting point is 00:35:36 It's gonna come back. It's gun a comeback. Oh my God, it's already here. And then, Patrizle said this. He didn't shoot the dog. He just found it there. of natural, I'm not going hunting any time soon. Thanks for the replies.
Starting point is 00:35:51 What the... We put it in a Tupperware and buried him below the sand. Stop with your fucking creepy-ass Tupperware shit. But like, what are you talking about? This is insane. He didn't shoot the... He was a great shot, first of all. First, how dare you? Why are you even getting upset about that part, Trela or whatever?
Starting point is 00:36:05 Goose, who very suspicious. Very! Of what happened to the geese. Ghost, more like. Goose said this. Ghost of a goose. Someone's bitter. Goose said this. If you dream you want, you will never win. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:36:19 You're hexed. You're cursed. What the fuck? Luden foos. Who ruled that? You're not the boss. If you dream about it, you don't get it. What?
Starting point is 00:36:26 What are you talking about? Yeah. That's my rule. Well, Mayan says, Treesla, be careful in all you do, because God reveals to redeem and pray for blessings, mercy and protection. Treesla, you better fucking walk. Treesla, Treesla, watch a fuck out. Treesla is stepping on God's toes here is with this dream shit.
Starting point is 00:36:43 First of all, everyone is like, you're going to get shot. Yeah. And also that guy's a terrible. terrible shots, so look out. And also, why has the dog been shot? She's like, it's not. Nobody's been shot or dead. No, yeah. People need to... Like, everybody, she wants to know what the lottery numbers are. How are you not understanding the question? I'm now on tweet, twies aside. Let's see how you feel about go lotto's response, okay? Okay. So this is what go lotto has to say. The dream about winning the cash for life
Starting point is 00:37:10 is a good dream. A dream that could actually happen as long as you have... As long as you have five and one man with a gun and a dead dog. That's all it does. Honestly, you found the perfect formula. A dream that could actually happen as long as you have one ticket and stay in that game. Slow and steady can win that one. Someone's going to win cash for life.
Starting point is 00:37:31 The way I look at it, and might as well just be you as anyone else playing. So that was a very good dream, smiley face. And that one might have a happy ending just as you felt after that part of the dream. As far as a dream about the hunting, that's a little more complicated.
Starting point is 00:37:45 The fact that the guy is. The lottery will be easy. That was like a really short paragraph. And now they're like, just wait. No, I'm here for the geese talk, yeah. The fact that the guy was hunting on his own property definitely means playing some of your own numbers in a jackpot game. See, I like this.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I e. hunting a jackpot. Thank you. The word geese lends a hand in that department. Taking the three E's in that word, we will have you buy three. There's not three E's in that word. Oh, yes, sir. I had the exact same reason. Geese?
Starting point is 00:38:14 Geese. Taking the three E's in that word, we will have you buy three easy picks, which is another word for quick picks. The other two letters in the word geese will indicate that these should not be easy picks, but rather tell you what powerball or megaball to choose with two sets of my picks, in other words, your own numbers. Since G is the seventh letter of the alphabet, that means a powerball or megaball of seven. And with S being the 19th letter, that set will have a power or megaball of 19. The word geese has five letters, so you should buy a ticker.
Starting point is 00:38:46 it playing five sets of numbers, the three easy picks and the other two my picks with the red balls of seven and nineteen respectively. The dream does not tell what the five white numbers should be for each of the my picks, so it therefore must want you to choose them randomly or using any formula you so desire. No, not with the formulas. We've done enough formula, really enough formulas. You're already coming up with formulas. Al, you out there, Al Sagle, you're going to help us out? I already killed him by accident. Jesus, no, we didn't. When should all this happen? When should you buy this one ticket with the three easy picks and the two my picks with seven and nineteen as red numbers. For guidance, we must now consider the dead dog. In your dream, well, there's only one
Starting point is 00:39:27 clear avenue to choose here. And it's obviously the dead dog. And I didn't say murdered, because the dog has died of natural causes, which we have clearly confirmed. Yeah, you're getting ahead of things. That's usually what happens. For guidance, we must now consider the dead dog. In your dream, you did not indicate that the hunter shot the dead dog. The dog may have died, from natural causes. So the dog was either shot by the hunter without you knowing it, or simply appeared in the dream without any indication of how he died. In both cases, either being shot or natural, point to playing this ticket and taking a shot at the jackpot when it feels natural for you. Like maybe the next time Powerball or Mega Millions hits the jackpot level that you
Starting point is 00:40:06 naturally feel good at shooting for. The sky's the limit. Shooting. They know that words matter. Wow, they do. The sky's the limit. The dream clearly says that you should shoot for this jackpot. But when the time feels right, smiley face. It feels like AI, like, tried to make it sound important. Yes. And, like, made up a thing and was, like, see how it all makes sense? And you're like, yeah, wait, what? And sometimes it's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:40:27 If people were writing this way in 2004, well, I guess that's where the AI learned it. Well, but that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm like, amazed because I'm like, wait a minute. This is like original AI vibes without, it's like what they take, I guess, from all these weird ass forums. Yeah. It makes so much sense now. Because, like, what on earth is even happening here with this?
Starting point is 00:40:45 Did the person say like, thank you, I did this? Or did we not hear back? We don't hear anything back from them. Maybe they live in Costa Rica in a multi-million dollar mansion, you know? Maybe they really nailed it. Yeah, and they were like, see you losers. Yeah, fuck you. Thanks for giving me the numbers.
Starting point is 00:40:59 And then people were talking about Freud, writing about books. Writing about books? Writing about dreams. Books about dreams. Yeah. So, yeah, we'd never find out who won what. But I hope someone was taking notes because I certainly was. I was not.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Well, it feels like very poignant and special. So thank you for bringing that challenge. Yeah. No, I thought that was really fun. Andy had a great, did a great job introduce me to a lovely new forum that I look forward to visiting frequently now. Oh, yeah, I'm sure that you'll spend a lot of time on it. Yeah. Thank you, everyone for listening to Beach, Sandy Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the words,
Starting point is 00:41:35 the most traumatic fashion. I've been your sister host, Christine. Yeah, I've been the brother host, Zambi. Maybe that could be our new outro. Or we can just leave. Oh, okay, bye. Beach Two Sandy Water Too Wet is produced and hosted by Zandi and Christine Schiefer. The show is edited and mixed by Sarah Borrehees Wendell of VW Sound.
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