Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 55: Car Dealerships in Fargo, ND

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

Happy podversary!! We're celebrating one year of Beach Too Sandy nonsense! Thank you so much for your support this past year. As a special gift, we've finally revealed the identity of the man behind our intro. And no, it's not Bosephus! So go watch our latest YouTube video to see that reveal: https://youtu.be/l8Qzn-kW2wY Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a livestream Q&A every month.  Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Happy one year anniversary almost. What almost? Almost podversary. One day away.

Yes, welcome to our year... Gosh, we did not think of this ahead of time, did we? Damn it. Well, it's a special episode whether we know it or not. It is. And look how far we've come. We've come pretty far in one year, not too bad. We're finally doing car dealerships. Yeah, we have PPL. We finally reached North Dakota. Finally made it all the way to North Dakota. But first, I do have a surprise for you. You do? I do. What is it? But... So you did plan something.

Oh, yeah, I did. Oh. But it's not quite on the podcast, so we're going to have to take a quick break. What is it? It's a video. A video? Mm-hmm. It's a special video.

How do I play it? You watch it on your computer. Okay. And then you can react to it on the air once you're done. Is it on the YouTube? It's on my personal YouTube, so I have to send you the link. One sec. Oh, okay.

Okay, I received a text from Alexander with a video called One Year of Beach Too Sandy. He just went downstairs to wrangle the dogs who are barking. So I guess I'll watch it and see what happens. Two thousand years later. 2,000 years later. What the fuck, Alexander? How did you do that? Holy shit.

I did think that you would find out somehow. I had no idea. I thought you forgot it was our anniversary. No. Oh my god. Of course not. I just watched a video of everybody telling me really nice things. Yeah. And actually,

it's gonna be on YouTube, our YouTube channel. So, like, when you're listening to this, I'm putting it up at midnight. And Gia was in there. Yep. Some of you were in there, and Blaze was in there. Yeah. So for people who are like, what just happened in that weird blank spot that we just put in there?

That suddenly turned into Christine's shrieking. Suddenly her shrieking, yeah. I reached out to some family and friends and asked them to make a little video shout out for our one year. Oh my god, Em was in Tie Dye, Eva Biva. Yeah, Em's in there, Eva's in there, a couple animals. And a handful of very wonderful patrons who wanted to share their thoughts. I can't believe it. Everybody's so kind. Yeah.

And then at the end, there's a finale, and it's a surprise voice. I started screaming. I didn't even expect it. The big reveal. The big reveal that you've all been... That's right. It's our one year. You can finally learn. Who does our voiced intro at the beginning spoiler alert it is not

alexander in an accent which some people think it is people still think it's me and i wish i could talk like that i mean i kind of don't don't but i kind of do you can see finally put a face to the name yes so voice to the yes face to the voice and i guess name too oh my god i'm shaking that was insane well um so if you at least just want to oh my god find out who does the voice of our intro go to our youtube channel um i'm putting it up there ad free just like not to monetize it i just thought it would be a fun thing to do really i think it's gonna be a real money maker i mean people talking about how much they love me and they're like oh there's a 30 second ad before i why would i watch this

before you i'm like you know what christine's husband say nice things i'm just not gonna put ads in there um but anyway so yeah so how did you do this how did you make sure i didn't know about it i just texted people i mean like the patrons yeah. So I was on the... So that's why... So I thought about sending out a mass email. Right. But I was worried... Or, like, a post about it. But I'm like, if she checks the Patreon for whatever reason, like, it's going to fall through.

So I booted you from the patron-only Facebook page. I didn't even notice. Because I knew you wouldn't notice, A. And B, because you're like, I have to juggle a bunch of other groups. So, like, yeah. Anyway. So I kicked you from there and then just made a couple posts like one big post where i detailed it and then another little reminder post and how did people send their videos um well that's the thing is i think part of the problem was with gmail it was like i gave i created a new email address called five stars forchristine at gmail.com. Yeah.

Can I buy that off you? Yes. For a price. Lots of money. But anyway, so then people emailed it or they messaged me directly on Facebook. Oh my God. And yeah. I'm going to cry.

Chia was in there and Olive was in there. Yeah. It was, it was. I need to regain my breath. Yeah. So that is for our one year. Go watch it. YouTube.com slash C slash beach to sandy water to even monetizing it, which means it was really from the heart.

It really was. I wasn't doing this to get any money out of you people. And it's not even 10 minutes. It's like just shy of 10 minutes. If it's 10 minutes, you get more money or something on YouTube. Really? Yeah. Well, I wanted to let you know that I at at one certain point last month, blocked you on Twitter.

I actually found that out. How? Oh, right. Yesterday. Because I was like, I felt really bad. And I was like, I checked Twitter. I was like, why don't I follow you anymore? I'm like, I didn't mean to unfollow you.

He noticed he didn't follow me on Twitter. And so it kind of came out that I had blocked him in the past. But you didn't know why. Yes. I still don't know why. So I also didn't forget about our one year anniversary. I was going to play dumb. Please hold while I go grab a little something that I made for you.

It's not a video this time. Okay. I'm going to bring the patrons actually in the room. Yeah. I'm just kidding. One up me. Hold on. Oh, wait.

Okay. I just remembered that I wrapped it. Okay. And it's under the Christmas tree. So do you need me down there? Give me one moment. Christina just flung her glasses behind the couch. What is going on?

Hold on. Ooh, what is this? Okay, I have a present for you here. Oh, this wrapping paper is amazing. I wrapped it in some little bear paper. It's a football. Oh. It's shaped that way oh my gosh okay it's a beautiful book it says beach juice it's our logo beach juice

andy water to it one year anniversary for kids by alan sanger did you draw all of it i should probably you know holding hands around the world let me give it right back one year anniversary oh my gosh what is this dear zandy slash db dear brother slash baron of cream slash bad boy of podcasting happy wonderwall i hope you're having the bde war damn eagle i mean um for the one year anniversary of beach you sandy i thought of writing you a limerick selling 10 of your renaissance paintings or perhaps tanning myself leathery and floating toward you like a log instead i blocked you on twitter eek i was secretly collecting kind words from our lovely listeners our escargatoire our nebraska owning dorkuses and boy did they bring the full monty so sit back sweet child of a friend of mine

i love that one and soak in the love you deserve it you're ds christina oh no you don't have to read all of it there's a lot this is the thickest book of nice things i've ever seen oh my god and there's so many pictures and a beautiful background. It's a little scrapbook. It's like a full on scrapbook thing. This is incredible. I made our Twitter followers write in nice messages about you. Holy shit.

No one ruined it. I don't think. I had no idea. I promise. I had no idea. Everyone was very good about it. They, I left it up only for like 12 hours and then deleted it and unblocked you oh really and then did it one more time like two weeks later just to like

cover all my bases oh my god and everyone came in really strong holy shit and like there are all these pictures too i mean some are very kind some are very funny celebrate your celebrate like your pinata is full of wet beans i like that yeah eva actually made that graphic did she really oh thank you um someone said alex the podcast is like your bowl cut simply amazing in its own unique way most of them were like stop letting christine touch your hair these are so so there's a lot of those so you obviously don't have to read those oh my gosh this is so perfect i think something's on the back you obviously don't have to read those oh my gosh this is so perfect i think something's on the back and i don't remember what this is incredible look at all

these these are about me they're all about you but i think i wrote something on the back of the book but i there's like one little error i think a typo so i apologize well mom made a book for me and ally for going to germ and she like, she misspelled Germany. She's going to kill you for saying that. She spelled Deutschland wrong. And I was like, mom, you're missing the S. I think it was like the L in there or something, wasn't it?

Something like. And she like, so she wrote it in in Sharpie. Yeah. Very funny. I should have done that. We were laughing so hard. It was perfect though. Anyway.

And because I know how much you love it, here's my limerick. Uh oh. I couldn't like not include my limerick. Oh no, you had to include it. I did. Now I get to read it for the masses. Finally. There once was a man with a shoe. He pet it while looking at you. I awoke from a dream in which, as it seems, he was playing with me peekaboo. I put he in there twice. It should be. Okay, well, it still works. Okay. That's so funny hashtag christine 2020 yes love you zany this is so perfect thank you um all right well i guess we both remembered and pretended we didn't

so welcome to our one year anniversary episode so perfect and i love though as a podcast so okay if anyone's listening to this that hasn't listened before oh like. Like, what the fuck? We just do this every week. So far, it's literally just been inside jokes and talking about things, physical things, that they can't see right now. There's been a limerick or two for their listening pleasure. That's true.

That's true. They'll live. I screamed a little bit, a lot. But yeah, so that is not normal. We just hit our one year, and we're very excited, and it went really fast. We deserve this. Leave us let us have this for our 40th episode we got a what was it 40 and blessed oh my god donut a long john donut yeah um so sometimes we like to do a

little celebration yeah but um oh that's amazing thank you everyone for participating i can't wait to go through this book you both are so annoying asking us for so much shit no one ruined yours yeah no one said like no idea all right well now that we've done that gotten that out of the way are we recording an actual episode today are we i'm just like i am i don't know if you are i'm just kidding okay yeah no our theme this week was car dealerships in Fargo, North Dakota. And what a place to celebrate. Yes. Fargo.

I would love to go. And my challenge was to find a review of noise-canceling headphones where they worked too well. I forgot about that. I did not. That's a good one. And that was sent in by Gloria. Thank you, Gloria. I love this challenge.

I'm excited. Cool. So I don't know how many you have, but I have a couple long ones. Should I start this time? Go for it. All right. So the first dealership I visited on our one year anniversary was Corwin Toyota Fargo. Very exciting place. Good place. Dan gave Corwin Toyota one star. I have purchased two new Honda CR-V cars at Corwin Honda. The latest one in 2015 was having problems with severe vibration problems. I asked the service manager to check on it.

When the dealer was done checking the car, he said there was no shake. I told him Honda had a service announcement from the factory about it. The service manager suddenly got very irate and pursued me. Weaving in and out all the Camrys. Oh, it's a Honda. And a Toyota. I'm very confused about what car dealership we're at. They're probably Camrys. There are Camrys everywhere.

The manager suddenly got very irate and pursued me. He tried to take my camera after I was trying to take a picture of him irate and pursued me. He tried to take my camera. After I was trying to take a picture of him exploding and coming towards me, he wanted to take my camera away, or worse. I had the camera. Why do you have a camera out? What happened? Is this like some weird gotcha thing that they were planning? Sounds like it. Oh.

Sounds like it. He tried to take my camera after I tried to take a picture of him exploding and coming towards me. He wanted to take my camera away, or worse. I had the camera as I didn't want to leave it in the car when the car was in the service area. I will not go back. End of review. Wow. He was trying to take a picture of the guy exploding towards him.

Yeah. And so the guy tried to pursue him. Pursue. And take his camera. Somehow I doubt that. High-speed pursuit. It sounds a little dramatic for what most likely actually happened, but, you know, who knows?

I'm thinking about the camera. Maybe they had a bad day. Because most people have their phones, and that's what they use as a camera. Now, I'm really wondering if this was like a big old Nikon, or if this was like a digital. I think it was like a full crew, a full set. Oh, he brought his whole videographer staff. Yeah. Okay. That makes a lot more sense.

He didn't want to leave them in the car. It gets really hot in there. That makes a lot more sense. He didn't want to leave them in the car. It gets really hot in there. My first one is of Gateway Chevrolet by Brad. One star. Until they get Jordan back, they are no good.

End of review. Oh, where'd he go? Jordan, we're looking for you. We're thinking about you. Jordan, come back. Hopefully we get you back. We've changed. Yeah, I don about you. Jordan, come back. Hopefully we get you back. We've changed. We've changed.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Well, interesting, because my next one is also about Gateway Chevrolet. This one is by Chris, but he does say he's not coming back, so maybe there's something, a pattern going on here. Chris says, After buying a car from Gateway for the first time, I will never come back. Chris says, clean specific things and not the entire vehicle i finally told them i wanted to work directly with the detailing company to get it done right as soon as the weather gets warmer i am removing the dealer badge from the car as i do not want to advertise them or let anyone know i ever bought a car from them such a terrible experience now this included a photo um okay and the photo um

has a caption that says i told you I would remove the logo. And I was very baffled. It took me a long time. I don't know if you can see this. Now, what you see here is a pile of trash. Yes. I'm very baffled because I did figure out what these wrappers said. This one says Angus Cheeseburger.

Okay. This one is Angus Cheeseburger. Okay. This one is a bag of dog treats. This is some mail, and that's a ramen cup. Okay. And I guess on top there's this Gateway sticker. Yeah, split in half and artistically placed. Artistically placed among the melted cheese. That's disgusting.

Now, if they're trying to prove that this dealership is not good at detailing their car they're doing a pretty okay job so good point i guess this kind of had a double meaning i i was baffled really deep the gateway looked like it was part of the cheeseburger wrapper and i i thought maybe there was some still might be we don't we're not sure we're not positive um but so but the detailing company wasn't even it's a separate company. I guess so. There's also, in case you didn't notice, a super greasy pizza carton down here. Oh, is that what the, God, that's nasty.

Yeah, this is a really nasty car. No one wants to see this. Yeah, Chris, I think maybe it's you that's the problem here. Kept bringing me back. Look how dirty it is. Look at all these spots of ramen you missed. Yeah, so. And they're just trying so and they're like just

like trying to like they're just biting their tongue like i can't believe we missed that we'll let we'll make sure we let them know all that melted cheese on the floor oh my gosh you guys left an entire stack of pizza boxes in my backseat pretty gnarly i don't know who's eating in there definitely wasn't me ever never would but this questionable angus cheeseburger in a plastic wrapper that's like i don't know how that's even heated up um but yeah so anyway i just wanted to to let you know that chris did follow through and remove the decal off his car i'm glad you let me know that's important it was my next review is of corwin Toyota. One star by Rocky. Bought a truck and was never told during the process that it only has one key. So after calling for two weeks and getting the runaround, they told me that they're not going to give me another key.

We sell, thank as is. So I said, if you got a truck on a trade-in and it only came with three wheels, you gonna sell it as is? They said, no, because a truck comes with four wheels. And I said, exactly. A truck comes with two sets of keys. End of review. Wow. If there's one thing he's good at, it's math.

And philosophizing. And philosophizing i am philosophizing i do like that um the theory is like i got home and didn't realize my car only had three wheels until i got home and they sold it to me that way that's this is not the same thing it's not at all and also my car only came with one key and yeah it sucks but like i just i knew that that's what was happening and you can pay to get another one made yeah they're very expensive yeah but that's why the dealership doesn't do it if they don't have it right yeah you'll be fine there were a lot of people who did get locked out of their cars so maybe that's the thing that happens up there more often than we'd like to think yeah rocky's just an idiot just kidding listen your

words not mine i have maybe done that in the past. Okay, next. Me, I haven't. Not ever. Ever. No. Oh, no. Okay, I'm back at Corwin Toyota also. This is a once-reviewed by Caleb.

They sell cabin air filters for $60. Their waiting area is very cold. They have no cookies, and the hot chocolate tastes like hot water. End of review. Oh, my God. Sad. That is so sad. I've never heard anything like that.

What a terrible dealership experience. Can you imagine your work there as an administrative assistant and your job is to buy the Swiss Smiths and then someone just shits all over your little waiting area on Yelp. And you have to push management. You're like, you know what? We should give these people a nice waiting area. We should like... Let's get a mini Keurig. They're like, you know what? We should give these people a nice waiting area. We should like.

Let's get a mini Keurig. They're on sale. It's Black Friday. And we'll get the hot chocolate pods for people who don't want to, who don't drink coffee. That's so sad. They have no cookies though. I like how that's a specific lack. Maybe they were out.

Maybe. Maybe this guy goes all the time and this day they were out. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Or maybe they've, they had like full slices of cake available. Maybe a full dessert bar. And the guy was like, well, no cookies. That's true.

You can't really have a dessert bar with no cookies. I would agree with Caleb on that one. Next time we're in Fargo, we'll check out Corwin Toyota and check out the cookie sitch. Great. We'll report back. Also, I want to mention that one of the representatives at Corwin Toyota responded and was like we're so sorry um we're going through renovation but we're really trying to like make it better for our customers and I was like don't listen to Caleb. Yeah Caleb's opinion does not matter. The fact that you even have hot chocolate is lovely so everybody be quiet. Not you though keep reading. Yeah okay I was okay. I was going to say, I was like, okay, I guess I got to be quiet. That's the end of that.

Here's another Corwin Toyota by Matt One Star. This place just hired the most shady dude in the state. Steve! Be careful when dealing with this place. End of review. I don't know what's going on in Fargo, but it seems like a lot. They're very specific. The one guy's like, Jordan better come back.

That's Jordan and Steve now. Maybe. And now Steve exists. It was Steve with three exclamation points. This person is passionate. You know, I did fall asleep during Fargo, but I think this does remind me a little bit of the movie. I think there was like some mystery in the air during that movie, if I recall. Your homework was to re-watch it so

and i did you obviously didn't i did and that this is what it reminds me of uh-huh philosophically only oh yeah it's really yep that's that's true yeah makes sense um oh okay so now i'm back at um gateway chevrolet with the angus cheeseburgers. Okay. Ryan gave one star. Tate, you're terrible. I bought your 2009 Chevy Cobalt from you and your manager agreed to detail the car, not just shampoo the seats. Since let me tell you that the previous owner had a buffet last fall. I really needed to know that. Plus hidden fees would not recommend dealing with anyone there.

They did rotate the tires and give me half a tank of gas. Thanks. Edit. The car does run great, though. One star? Mm-hmm. Why? Because this...

Someone had a buffet in there? They actually had a buffet, but I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Mm-hmm. And, you know, interestingly enough, this is pasted right underneath this picture. Oh, odd. Of the ramen. Was that Chris who did that yeah chris had a buffet or a buffet i can't really decide um and it looks like maybe finally chris gave up the

car and gave it to ryan and ryan gave it to tate who gave it to ryan yeah uh yeah i really needed to know that i don't know what that means but the car does run great though see you know what that means, but the car does run great, though. See? You know what? One star. All right. My next review is of Ness Auto Sales, written by Teresa. One star. Went in and heard nothing but profanity and lies. End of review. Oh, my goodness.

Just walks in, gets cussed out. And, like, I'm trying to think of a good lie what would they say um i don't even know uh you're ugly yeah i have a the guy says i have a fucking girlfriend she lives in canada you wouldn't know her i guess this is pretty close to canada so effing hot yeah you wouldn't believe it i'm glad you said effing thank you i like how this is the one time i decided not to swear when when it's literally this place is laced with profanity wait which one was that again ness auto sales i don't have one from there um yeah i mean maybe it is some sort of like gateway into some sort of like portal into just like another world you know just like a

really dark a dark uh yeah it's like have you seen that movie fargo oh my god yeah where that whole portal opens up in fargo thank god funny you mentioned that it is this dealership is in fargo it was pretty funny i think that comedy it was a pretty good romantic comedy if I ever saw one. All right. Romance out the yin-yang. Is that what people say? Yep. Okay.

Correct. Yes. It's a very common phrase in North Dakota. All right. I have one from Corwin Honda now. Can't keep track of all these. Corwin has a lot of... I know. Because I'm going to have another one from a different one.

The Corwin family is like taking over this town. Yeah. It's a shame. LT gave one star. Just kidding. I don't know any Cormans. Steve Corwin. Don't sue me.

Gator Wrangler. Off-brand Gator Wrangler. I'm like, who? Oh, my God. Steve, he's missing, isn't he? No, we don't like Steve. He's the he's the shadiest guy oh that's right lt gave corwin honda one star bought a used car when we picked it up it had a chipped window a dent in the side and now it makes a funky noise when purchasing it and discussing

price one of the salesmen actually said what What did I think? You're buying a new car? WT heck! End of review. Wow. Laced with profanity. What is it? I think last week's when that hotel was like, what did you expect? We're not the Ritz. Yeah.

Didn't you read the reviews here? Didn't you read the shitty reviews about how terrible we are? Yeah. Yeah, I don't,'t you know if you're buying a used car it had a dent in it well i mean you bought it at the place yeah i don't understand that there are so many reviews like that where i drove this car home not there were a lot where people were like oh it broke down right away which is. But the ones where it's like, oh, and it had a big dent. It had, yeah, a chipped window.

It had three wheels only. It was like something gross in the, I don't know. Like, there's just all these weird things. Like ramen everywhere. Like chipped plastic on the inside. It's like, well, what the hell? What are you doing? You just bought it.

WT Heck. WT Heck. This isn't Ness Auto. This is of Corwin Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram. Damn. They just threw the rest in. And they're like, eh, we don't need separate places for these. This is a one star by Joshua.

No greetings. I was literally waiting for 30 minutes and went from stand to stand trying to get anyone to greet me. They didn't even fix what I wanted and told me they had even when I showed them that it wasn't fixed. But they didn't forget to charge me for it. Almost $400 for work I wouldn't have paid $10 for. Funny thing is, YouTube and WD-40 fixed my problem, solved in under an hour, and it took them five days and not results. They also tried to up-sale you at every opportunity. Do not go here.

I've given these guys chance after chance, and they always blow it. This place matched the definition of a pathetic rip-off, and the staff is arrogant, cocky, and probably share the combined IQ of a rock. Parentheses, not even a big rock. End of review. Oh!

Shots fired! You know what that reminds me of? Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock. Yes. Excuse me. It does remind me of those, I think it's on Reddit, those bots that make, like, they,

like, aggregate terms from a certain subreddit. Isn't that a thing? And then they write out a post like oh my god do you remember those subreddit simulator yes yes i forgot about that i've essentially like it accounts like takes all the like keywords that people use the most and creates like this ridiculous post that makes it seem like it could have been written but it's like yeah off like you always do a double take when you're like just scrolling through your regular feed. And you're like, wait, did someone just... It's like that uncanny valley. You're like reading it and you're like, I know it's like something is weird about it.

But it's like too close to reality. And then all the comments are the same too. So the comments are all by different subreddit bots. It's basically making fun of humanity. And I feel a little bit like that's what happened here where it just took all the keywords like youtube wd-40 it really did feel like that yeah over up charge joshua is some some steve only thing missing um it was missing so he got it he didn't get it fixed he did it on youtube i don't know that's what's confused i'm confused too it took them five days to fix it, but then not results.

Not results. So who the heck knows? But the whole greeting thing? I was going to say, that part, they charged him, but they didn't greet him. Yeah, somehow. I mean, I guess it's possible. If you really try. He went from stand to stand to get anyone to greet him. Maybe he's at the farmer's market and he got a little mixed up.

Because otherwise, I don't know what. Maybe he's at the farmer's market and he got a little mixed up. Because otherwise, I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Well, then you should have given him five stars. Like, wow, this dealership has a wide selection of fruits available to me.

Of produce. Their hot chocolate tastes great. Nothing like water. Like that other place. Okay, that one was wild. I don't know what to make of that. I have one more for you. We're still at Corwin Honda.

This is a one-star review by Mark. Received their VIP package in the mail. Contains coupons and a letter from Mr. Corwin himself. Unbelievable I get this in the mail considering the negative experience i had in a review mr corwin wrote him a handwritten letter and some coupons are you sure it wasn't like a ransom note or something maybe mr corwin is abducted and they they're like reach out to your worst fans and if they don't help you we're gonna kill you i think that seems about right i don't know why that popped in my head but it sounds right it sounds a little bit like the plot of fargo

which i think is why you're getting a little confused um but i do want to also add that i think maybe what happened is you know how i don't know costco or somewhere will send out like flyers and it'll have like the ceo's face on it and then like a little like hi I'm founder mark blah blah blah and um I think maybe this would happen and mark just really had no just it's like when when they get push notifications from google saying how is this place and they're like what why is this place reaching out to me mr google get out of my phone you're hacking my phone right now aren't you and it's like it's like how does mr corwin know my address yes like why is he sending me a private thing that has nothing to do with the dealership that all these private

coupons he's mailing me in the mail i think um also it's a little bit like bizarre because i feel like a humble brag it is you know what it is it is um i think he is just trying to kind of put like name drop a little bit Mr. Corwin himself I also I also wanted to add most people who have a negative review would be like pleased that if literally the owner wrote you a handwritten apology

letter the owner of this entire family the Corwin family auto mega empire wrote you a handwritten letter he's like unbelievable this jerk writes me a letter after i drove home on three wheels i think i you know i'm gonna put it out there i think he has some problems or something oh shit no not even big was it big rock yeah he has little rock problems no offense to arkansas, my last one is a redemption.

Oh, yay. This is a five-star review. Mr. Corwin himself? Five-star review of Kia of Fargo. So not even a Corwin. Oh, no. Sorry, Mr. Corwin. Yeah, sorry, Mr. Corwin.

Don't sue us. Here's Daryl's five-star review. Had a great time with Mike A and drove away with one hot set of wheels. One week later, it has been nothing but perfect. Sportage SX rules the road. And over. There's something so adorably obnoxious about it that I had to read it. Oh god, it's such a dad move.

Right, but in like, yeah. At least it was positive. The sunglasses just, over the eyes. Yes. You know, my favorite gif. Could you imagine me saying that about anything I drove? Chevy Cruze rules the road. I can't imagine it and I don't enjoy it.

There's a whole thing on Instagram. It's like hashtag cruise girl. What? And it's like there's... Like Chevy Cruze? Yes. Like there's like a weird subsection of instagram where people pose with chevy cruises and i'm like my 2013 base model chevy cruise does not deserve to be it's a hot set of wheels posed with but whenever we're driving and ali

sees another cruise like a nicer one she's like oh it's my boyfriend she's like i'm such a cruise girl yeah what and i'm like she's like oh shoot you guys weren't supposed to see each other and drive by each other because mine is like the worst cruise i've ever seen out of all of them you kids correct me apparently they have nicer ones anyway she's my cruise girl hashtag cruise girl she's my too i'm gonna be honest eek give me your challenge please okay my challenge was to find um given by gloria was to find reviews in which noise canceling headphones worked too well so amped get it uh-huh well okay i'm just gonna be honest here it wasn't that crazy nothing funny nothing funny no okay well maybe i'm setting it up one year maybe other people will like them um other than me so everyone's showing their family this podcast for the first time it's like i picked the wrong episode let me skip past the first 10 minutes okay maybe this

is gonna be funny okay some car dealerships oh what is this last bit suddenly the music's playing and we're out all right okay now this is of the run miss gaming headset um it was actually a question on amazon someone said do the headphones cover the ears or rest on them and is there any discomfort in wearing for extended time someone named mama bear responded they cover my son's ears and they are comfortable for him as a mom they fit maybe too well as he can't hear me unless i get right next to him and end of answer jeremy i'm like jeremy god damn it i was reading that i'm like mama bear Mama Bear, like, he can hear you. He's ignoring you.

Mama Bear, I think we all know what the real problem is here. Yeah. Jeremy is a little... Your son doesn't love you. He loves Fortnite more than he loves you. This is terrible. Okay. Um, anyway.

That's all I have. This is wholesome. That's it? No, I'm just kidding. Oh. I was like, okay. You wish. No, no.

Okay. Okay. have this is wholesome that's it no i'm just like okay you wish no no okay these this review is of the bowes quiet comfort 15 acoustic noise canceling headphones by cold snap five stars first off let me say i am an adult video game console player with a full-time job and i use these headphones for my playstation 4 at night after the kids have gone to bed so happy for you be nice did he say fortnight um oh playstation 4 at night yes i just hear fortnight everywhere you know i'm such a fortnighter yeah why would you assume that they're a man though that's what i'm wondering i said there no you said him because you said the first thing mr cold just saying women gamers are out there i know i'm one of them dab

okay i bought the bows quiet comfort 15 acoustic noise canceling headphones and i was pleasantly surprised they work extremely well at blocking out other sounds and my wife has literally had to tap me to get my attention. I plug them right into my PlayStation 4 controller and no one can hear the games besides me. The sound is crisp and I have used them every night since I have got them. The only concern I have is that the noise cancelling works a little too well, and I get nervous that one of my children may be calling me and I cannot hear them. Other than that, and the steep price, I would say they are a must-buy. I used a gift card from my B-Day and from the holidays to offset the price, so that helped. All in all, an excellent choice. End of review. They hear like,

Dad! And then he just like turns up the noise canceling. Yeah, hears screaming, he's like, this game is, this game of uh um call of duty nope i'm thinking what's that game you play uh stardew valley yeah stardew valley got violent why is there all the screaming i had a switch before you did so i am on the cutting edge of the gaming industry i've been playing old school runescape before it was even considered old school. That's valid. You are the RuneScape hipster. That is what I call you. You know what?

That's my new nickname. No, I hate it. Okay. It's worse than the other one. Somehow. Somehow it is. It's amazing. Okay, the next one is of active noise canceling headphones for kids.

It was a question on Amazon. How effective is the active noise cancellation during flights? Bozofus says this. Bozofus? Bozofus. Like orifice? Or like Bozoficial? Like, is Josephus a thing?

No. Well, it's like Josephus with a B. I'm like reading, I'm like, I don't know. b-o-s-e-p-h-u-s like bows like the headphones but bows of fists and it's like all lowercase so like the biblical bows yes so it's like what they use back then got it old testament style the old testament headphones i just used these last month during flights to new zealand australia and hawaii and this is a brag much jesus i hate that part and the sound deadening was excellent once the cabin attendant had to physically remove the headphones from my ears because

oh my god even though she was standing right next to me i couldn't hear her asking me if I wanted dinner. I bought three pairs for my wife and son. End of response. Now we all sit in a row in the exit seat and refuse to acknowledge. We don't want to hear each other. We will not. Or the flight attendant. We will not agree to sitting in the exit row. No.

Oh my God, to have it physically removed, I would probably punch somebody. Okay, I would freak out. Out of fear, like if someone grabbed my headphones. There's headphones no way there's no way a flight attendant literally grabbed your ears grabbed your ears well no i don't think so it sounds like bozo fist is one one one in the same with his his bozo fist with the old testament with his old testament back then that's what they would do grab each other by the ear grab your ears especially on the plane oh my god um have you heard of esau have i yeah um i don't know yes i mean yes um but like i did have uh noise canceling headphones and legitimately on the plane one

time and um the flight attendant like kind of even leaned down and like it scared me so bad that if somebody i had actually grabbed the headphones i don't think that that that's a thing for me no i don't think so i thought they said when he physically removed them i thought he was gonna say that he had to physically remove me from the plane like because we had landed or something and i didn't hear the seatbelt sign go off i'm in hawaii again i hate coming here i thought i was in tokyo i thought i was in jerusalem do you think it means like there's a census i have to go king david uh needs to know you know i'm really i'm showing off i'm showing off at this point king harrod but sure whatever um yeah i think so um maybe it's like bows ph us yeah i thought about that but i still

don't pass with an h yeah exactly that's what i think of when i think of bows exactly um but when i was when i'm on a plane with noise canceling headphones i will so my anxiety is so bad that i'm just like looking down the aisle waiting and I'm like okay they're gonna be at my row and like oh this amount of time and then I'm like I have one off take one off completely when she's like three rows ahead or he's three rows or they or they I'm sorry that was like you live a little backwards world where men can only play video games and where bozo fist rules the world and i think you need to be a little bit more open-minded anyway three and so i get them get them off three get them off so see that's that i'm using that pronoun right now get them off

what are you talking about my headphones, your non-gendered headphones. Your non-binary headphones. Three rows ahead of me. Oh my god, where is this going? I don't know, but I agree. If they're even in a hundred foot radius of me, I can't have my headphones on. Because I'm too anxious that I won't be able to order my ginger ale or whatever the hell. I just can't do it. Here's another review.

This is the Robot Pro V6 by Dragon Eyes. Should have been Dragon Ears. Five stars. My husband is a gamer. An everyday, many hours a day gamer. He goes through headsets fairly frequently. Before this pair, we had been getting more and more expensive, trying to find higher and higher quality. No matter what, six to 12 months would pass,

and something would break. I finally told him that it didn't seem to matter whether we spent $40 or $300 on a pair. They would break in a year. So I researched comments, and I found these. Well-priced, good comments, so I gave them a try. It's now been over a year and they are still working great and going strong for him. If I have any complaint, the noise cancelling is too good. As a wife of the person who uses these, it can be annoying to have to actually go into the room and wave him down because he can't hear me through the headphones. End of review. Okay, that's a little less violent than the flight attendant was.

Yeah, true. So at least some people have like... She's waving a gun at him. Waving him down. Get down! Waving her gun. Yeah, that seems about exactly what's happening. I'm trying to bring joy and humor to these dull reviews.

I'm sorry. I think you're doing a great job. Thank you. Okay, here's another one joy is abundant i will say this is of the bows a question about the bows quiet comfort 20i love the question like the whole thing is a fucking ad i love it bows bows do these headphones block out snoring and the answer is they would if i'm listening to music in the 20i i know i can hear nothing else on the other hand if someone yelled for help you probably wouldn't hear them

either i figured the airplane is okay to use them the sound is terrific terry oh my god just look how they casually throw in comical they think that is people calling for help thank god i can't hear my snoring wife who may or may not be dying in the living room. Damn it. Those of us for the rest of us. Trying to come up

with a rhyme for about 15 minutes. Oh no. I think I did it. I think I finally nailed it. You did so well. Thank you. Okay.

So this next one is a little different. Hey, what you made didn't make up for in quality. You made up for in quantity. Am I right? Just kidding. These are all quality. This last one is quality. I promise.

You're nailing it. This one is a little different, though. Okay. So this is a Bose Hearphones. What's that? Conversation enhancing and Bluetooth noise canceling headphones. Interesting. So technically they're noise canceling, but they're also meant to, like, improve one's hearing.

Oh, like in general. In general. I see. Okay. At least according to this review. Here is a review by Eclair. Five stars. Titled, Lifesaver for my 99

year old grandmother. I read another review before buying these about someone getting one for their 93 year old grandma and it was better than the $5,000 hearing aids. I now agree. I think at that age the tiny hearing aids can be hard to handle because they are so small. You have to keep replacing the batteries. They get dropped and lost easy. None of that with these. My grandmother came to stay with me for five weeks. She had an old pair of hearing aids that she said were better than the newer ones my parents had got her. They have a really patient doctor that fits her and my dad for hearing aids. My dad said she spent so much time trying to get my grandmother's right. My dad is good with his, but my grandmother just wasn't having success. She arrived and I was happy to have her, but soon realized I was going to have

to yell for the next five weeks and was quickly starting to drive me crazy. Not to mention she couldn't hear a thing and I thought she's missing so much of what's going on. I stuck her hearing aids in my ears and it was nothing but static. Oh, that's terrible. I know, right? That's what she's hearing all day? Yep. Me too. I have tinnitus. I thought you meant because I was talking. I was like, shut up. Oh, that would have been funnier.

Not good at this whole humor thing. Yeah. It's okay. You'll learn. Thanks. You've only had a year to practice, so next year. We'll check in on it. I'm still not used to people hearing what I'm saying.

When she yelled loud, I could finally hear something over the static. I got my iPhone headphones and hooked them up to my phone and put them in her ears and called her. She could hear me fine, and her face lit up. I was thinking, I might have to do that to communicate for the next five weeks. So I started looking for another option. Then I saw these. I got them and she could hear me. I sent my parents a text and picture of her wearing them that said,

She can effing hear! She stopped yelling too because she could hear herself. I had to turn it down sometimes because the TV was too loud, but you can adjust it with your phone or by hand. The phone adjustment was easy. The settings are different. I kept it mostly on the talking one-to-one setting, but did surround when she sat outside so she could hear all the birds and things.

It was a lifesaver. Since she went back home, some stupid friend told her that they weren't hearing aids, and so she decided to try new hearing aids again, and the same old stuff is happening with losing them and forgetting to take out the batteries at night. Oh well. Grandma's on peer pressure, am I right? I know, right? It always gets you. It's tough at the

nursing home. It is. There's so many clicks. Yeah. When your hearing aid goes at clicking sound. Yeah, it's usually like a staticky click. Yeah. For elderly people, it would help if the controls were a little easier to see, as it's all black and buttons are small. Maybe a big button version would be nice.

However, still not as hard as the little batteries and hearing aids are to handle. End of review. Oh my! Sorry, it was such a long one, but I thought it was sweet. That was a very helpful review. I'm kind of curious about this product at this point well they are noise and they're noise canceling and at one point the tv was too loud so they work too well because they're also noise enhancing and if you use promo code beach you will get 10 off of your yeah i don't even know what they're called just kidding

this is not an ad but it feels a little bit like one. But if you send us a pair, we'll maybe shout you out. Sure. Maybe. We'll think about it. Wow, that is very touching. I'm glad that grandma got to enjoy the TV. And the birds outside. And the birds.

Well, I just love when they're like, oh, she can't hear anything we're saying. And I'm like, maybe she's just ignoring you? I think that's a fair assumption for most of these reviews that i read especially i can't believe my husband can't hear me from the other room my son jeremy will never stop playing fortnite only because he can't hear me oh what a world we live in am i right jeremy bear oh bozifus oh i love bozifus i think that's my new favorite character i do too because we created such a vivid picture i would like to create like a full um illustrated encyclopedia beach to sandy encyclopedia of all these people jesus what's a people encyclopedia called a phone book sure an illustrated phone book fascinating

that's gonna fly off the shelves yeah all right well thank you is that the last one that's the last one oh thanks gloria i'm sorry if i kind of um you delivered don't worry okay i'm worried that was fun okay all right everybody oh i gotta tell you the theme huh please do okay the theme for next week now i had to pick a town we haven't been to and i think i did if we if i didn't just let me know okay um i have picked the theme of ski resorts in burlington vermont nice and i figure that's a good winter one too that's really nice i like that one good okay what's my challenge your challenge it's based on. I like that one. Good. Okay. What's my challenge? Your challenge? It's based on an idea that was emailed in by Amanda, but I made it a little bit more general to make it a bit easier.

Okay. Review of a pet product that the owner tried themselves. Yay! Yeah. I could write you plenty of those. So Amanda specifically said pet clothing, like pet apparel so if you can't find that that'd be great for her but i figured that's pretty tough i i hope i find like an electric fence collar or something oh god i'm sure there's all sorts of dumb shit yeah there's some dumb

shit out there i'm sure um oh yeah attempt to use on themselves well can't wait to hear all that dumb shit i can't either and i can't wait for another year of Beach to Sandy. Oh boy. Wow. As we embark. Thank you everyone for making the first year incredible. I mean, I can't believe it. It's still kind of hard.

I don't know. Hard to think that in one year we've come this far. 55 episodes. That's nuts. It is. That is nuts. Now we have to plan for our 100th. Yeah. Oh gosh. I know. Next big milestone. All right, guys. Get ready. episodes that's nuts it is that is nuts now we have to plan for our hundredth yeah oh gosh i know

next big milestone all right guys send get it get ready because we're probably gonna ask you to do more things for us we need you guys to say nice things about us yes all right so thank you everyone uh special thanks to uh patrons who helped me this week with um a special video with a special video if you want to go see that go to our youtube channel youtube.com slash c slash beach too sandy water too wet if you want to read alexander's book you can't because it's right here yep yay but also thank you to everyone who dm'd on twitter i haven't responded everybody because i got so like yeah there's a lot of praise out there so i want to i want to let you know i did get if you dm me a nice thing about alexander

i did get it and put it in there. Thank you so much. I mean, it's like thick. I cannot believe this. There's a lot. So I haven't gone through it yet. But thank you, everyone, in advance. Except maybe one or two that insult me a little bit.

I have a feeling those are in there somewhere. Some underhanded. I bet. Some side eye emojis. Gotta be. Gotta be. Yep. But thank you, everyone.

Thank you. Especially Bozafus. Have a happy holiday. Happy holidays, Bozifus.