Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 63: Karaoke Bars in Halifax, NS

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

We're going international! We visit our neighbors to the north, Canada, to find out how they feel about their karaoke bars. Then, Christine shares reviews of escape rooms written by people who had no business being in an escape room. Secure your patio furniture and hold on to your headphones, because we're exploring awful reviews and the people who write them. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York this Friday! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome! This is Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, where our beaches are always too sandy and our water is always too wet. That's on the nose. I'm Christine.

I'm Alex. Welcome to episode 64. Three. Three? Yep. Welcome to the one where we go international. We are going to Canada. Woohoo! Oh, Canada.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Putin. Timmy Ho's moose. God. Mounties. Mounties. Dudley Doolittle. What is that?

Is that a thing? No. Is it? Well, now I'm... Stop asking if things are things because then we get in trouble on the internet well i i hope this is one of those things where people are like oh my god my childhood dudley do right sure dudley do little was a u.s representative dudley do right dudley do little was dudley do right was from was of the Mounties and was on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show

and was friends with Naughty from Naughty's Twilight so yeah this week's episode was um reviews of the uh Rocky and Bullwinkle show oh my god written by Canadians we had to find newspapers from the 1970s no we did um you tell us all right we did we went to halifax which is where blaze and i went um and for our one year anniversary and uh it's really cool town and that's actually i think the top spot for anniversaries it's actually a honeymoon destination yeah i know both right we went in like november of all or october november so it's like cold um but we decided to cover karaoke bars in halifax yes and that we did um it's kind of tough actually it was very tough and i want to give the um caveat that a lot of the places i ended up looking at um were not specifically karaoke bars, but they had karaoke nights. Yes, everything that we found has some weird tangential connection to karaoke one way or another.

And Kevin Bacon. Don't complain. Separation. Yes. Stop complaining. He's Canadian, isn't he? Stop doing this. I don't know. Okay, I'm sorry that I'm just so worldly.

He's not Canadianadian by the way oh for god's sake okay okay anyway i'll go ahead okay my first one is of oasis pub oh i went there i mean not in real life in my notes because you could have this is one star by nick waitress just asked us to leave after noticing my hand on my girlfriend's hip sitting at the table. Apparently she was serious. Apparently a simple public display of affection is the devil here. End of review. Can confirm.

Even though it is the number one honeymoon destination, they really frown upon any sort of touching in public. Any sort of eye contact. The Canadian way. Yeah. Just really, really demureure you have to be at all times yeah that's that's not true i don't whatever that was weirdly like i started to try to picture it and i'm like no you know i have a feeling there's more to this that i don't want a picture he's lying i mean that makes no sense he's absolutely lying i just put my hand on her hip i swear god okay uh i went to bearley's did you go there i looked at reviews

there i'm not sure if i picked one so i realized pretty quickly boys and i went there twice oh cool i know and we didn't go to karaoke night but they do have like jazz music live jazz and live blues and it was across from where we stayed at the air we were staying in. And so there were a lot of reviews of this place. So I have a couple from there. This is by Peter, one star. He's on TripAdvisor. So the subject is time warp, spelled time, W-O-R-P. Time warp. In that separate alternate reality. That's how you spell it. That timeline. Don't judge. Time warp. In that separate alternate reality.

That's how you spell it. That timeline. Don't judge. Time warp. This is something out of the 1970. That's when the last upkeep was. Old rock hard chairs, rats dying in wall. Probably from the lack of service.

They're still waiting for drinks. Okay, that's funny they have three brands of hard liquor rum whiskey tequila all cheapest on the market only thing holding this place up is all the hot air time gosh this guy is like really poetic time warp he's actually like in his timeline he's like the ee cummings equivalent yeah he's just famous on tripadvisor well actually over there yeah that's actually the biggest publication yelp is like kind of the knockoff version got it okay yeah okay oh no it is kind of old school i will say like it's definitely one of those divey places, but I like it.

I saw there were a lot of divey places, but most of the reviews were like, hey, hell yeah, I love divey places. Here's a one-star review of Oasis Pub by Obadiah. This is where your sadly, lonely, depressed uncle goes to not blow out his head with a shotgun at 12am. End of review. Do I need to call the Mounties? Right?

Oh no! Yeah. Oh no, Obadiah. Is Uncle Obadiah okay? I bet they're all named Obadiah. Obadiah Sr. That's one of those names where I'm like, if that's not a family name, I don't know. No.

There's something wrong. No. Oh, my goodness. It sounds like the name of it is Oasis, so it doesn't really seem to fit the theme we're getting here. I did see one similar, though. I think it was for maybe Oasis, too. But it basically said, if you're depressed and want to kill yourself, you should go here and hang out with everyone else who's depressed i was like jesus lord okay it's probably obadiah writing multiple it might be obadiah yeah and which one that might have been his uncle i think it's uncle oh could you

imagine though if you have like your lineage whatever grandfather's name is john great grandfather patrick and then your dad like steven gives you a name and it's like you know what let's switch it up obadiah this has never been a family name but let's make it now well i mean blaze's parents were leonard then leonard and then blaze so they kind of switched it up although i think his his name was a family from distant relative. But they were like, no, let's switch things up. Has three Z's in case anyone's wondering. Yeah, Blaze is the name.

The two of them are at the beginning, right? Like before the B? They're silent. They have umlauts too. Wow. Sherry's listening to this like, no, that's incorrect. Okay, I actually have one of Oasis Pub and Eatery as well. Oh, yours was an eatery.

Mine didn't say eatery on Google. Mine's in the other timeline, remember? Oh, yeah. Time warp. Where everyone's uncle is named Obadiah, and they're all really happy-go-lucky folks. Oh, thank goodness. One Star by Mark. While visiting Halifax with the Navy, me and a few of my buds stopped by here on

a Thursday night around 11 p.m. College just started earlier in the week, so there were a lot of students. This place looks like someone covered the basement into a bar slash pool hall slash karaoke joint. A lot of seats were available and there was quite a mix of people. You can tell there is an obvious class difference between this place and all the expensive nice bars down Argyle Street. So far, there's nothing negative, like, from my perspective. From his description. It sounds like they turned a basement into a bar. Okay, like, half the bars in, like, the world.

That's precisely what they did. And then, like, what? There are all sorts of people, different kinds of people. I like how- Plenty of seating. Like, what is the problem here? There's a class difference people, different kinds of people. I like how... Plenty of seating. Like, what is the problem here? There's a class difference. Oh, okay, yeah.

With that being said, if you are looking for a hot guy or gal, move on. This is your average Joe's type of place. However... I hate this so much. However, that one short girl with blue hair and the short skirt dancing on the floor who kept bending over dot dot dot dot dot dot end of review oh my god ew ew ew ew i don't like that there's an obvious class difference i love that yeah with you? Don't say that. I love that. Complaining about that and then says like the most classless comment

you could come up with. Yeah. Uh-huh. The most classless comment honest to God though. Remember playing DDR and doing In the Navy? In the Navy.

What's that other song that always made me really depressed in that game? Was it Marmalade? Yeah, Marmalmalade what was the full name of it lady marmalade uncle obadiah oh yeah obadiah marmalade actually it's called ode to obadiah god on ddr can you imagine i dance dance to that all night long at oasis pub just don't bend over because Mark is looking.

I don't know. I could use a nice review about me. A little check out your booty. Thank you for that. Okay, I have one more of Oasis Pub by Kat. Three stars. But I'm not calling it a redemption. Okay.

There's a painting of Bill Cosby on the wall cheap pictures though end of review um and this was a year ago so oh i hope that picture's not still there i guess that's probably why it's a three star the news might not have reached canada oh you know canada is kind of like a way out in the um in the distant realms i don't know yeah we're from ohio we cannot we cannot talk that way though i know we can relate let's say that there's literally a mark twain quote that says um if the world were to end i'd move to cincinnati because everything happens 10 years later there yeah they're always 10 years behind oh they're always 10 years behind behind the times which um made me stop trying to insult canada because like what am i doing mark twain insulted us so we have no place to insult anyone that's exactly what obadiah would

say that's the first lyric to open um yeah i mean maybe that's why it's a three star i mean at least it's like good pictures well that's the thing yeah that's why they took off stars i assume i see the bill cosby sure sure was it like a shrine to bill cosby or was it like that's true hell or had he gone there maybe maybe he was there it wasn't actually a he escaped to canada he was looking in the little window like you know where they hand the diner food over? He just has, like, a little head in there. I'm picturing one of those... You know those bathrooms where you go in and there's, like, a two-way glass?

Oh, God. What? Have you seen that? Okay, well... Oh! I was at a bar in Austin. Oh, I have seen that. It freaks me out.

And you, like, the urinals are all along, like, facing the restaurant. Yeah. Or the rest of the bar. And you can see through, but they can't see you yeah it's like a two or one way mirror where yeah that's what i meant reflected on the other side and then you can see out which it makes you feel like you're peeing in front of a bunch of people you're just watching people while you pee i don't love that makes you uncomfortable anyway that's where bill cosby is but it's reversed so like they can see him and you can't see them yep he's just he can't see them he just

sees like is himself in a mirror it's perfect for him okay my next one is the fickle frog i have one from there really judy had an opinion i was into your restaurant recently and first of all i wish to comment on the lack of light in there. It is certainly not a place I would recommend to anyone who has problems seeing as it is poor lighting. Secondly, the food is lousy. Should you be able to see what is supposed to be on your plate, you may decide to go elsewhere. Never again will I step my foot inside your doors. I had a salad and not only could taste it as it was so dry and when i asked about dressing i was told it had already been added where sure not on mine wow what an outburst well the next line is literally

corn chips so i think she calmed down she just finished it off saying no there's more but um where sure not on mine corn chips on a salad really really maybe a person may be allergic to that that is bullshit don't complain like i hate we had one before like that oh i ordered scallops but some people might be allergic to seafood it's like what are you talking about it was that one the caesar salad that came with um capers are people allergic to capers because i hate the way they taste but i love that response of the um yeah the former stop using allergies as an excuse yeah for things you don't like really though corn chips on a salad really maybe a person may be allergic to that so if once again the lighting was improved by 100%, you may be able to see what is on your food.

My email is... I'm going to change it a little bit. My email is cc952938172 at yahoo.com. Judy Howe. You changed that? You just came up with that? I changed it because I put a bunch of different numbers. But I put the same amount of numbers. Oh, got it. Okay just i don't want anyone to think i put a real email out there got it um i just switched a bunch of the numbers around but uh it's an anagram you gotta figure

out you gotta find judy judy at yahoo uh yeah another one two three four like eight numbers um in a row at yahoo.com okay Okay. So how many possible combinations do we have? Let's figure it out, everyone. Oh, my God. Anyway, so that's Judy. Thanks, Judy. She just still can't see what kind of corn. How does she even know they're corn chips?

She said she can't see what she's eating. It heightened her taste, though. I guess. All right. I have mine from the Fickle Frog by Lucky Charms Gaming 77. One star. Did you change the 77 around so we don't know which direction it is? Yep, I swapped them.

Oh, shoot. Extremely rude staff. And they kicked us out of karaoke night for making friends. Highly recommend everyone to avoid this place. End of review. But, there's a response from owner. Oh, thank God.

Okay, I was going to have to wax poetic on what I thought was happening. Hello there. We are sorry to hear this, but our staff received several complaints about uninvited approaches to our customers. We like our guests to always feel welcome and have fun. So if you you like to talk about this situation please contact the manager directly she'll be more than glad to chat about it thank you end of response i mean so they're making unwelcome they're unwelcome uh approaches advances that's the word i'm looking for two people and then wrote a one-star review because

they got kicked out listen you gotta be doing something bad to get kicked out i mean come on lucky frog gamer can't read a room is what i always say oh man clearly struggling to understand that's not how you make friends i mean what are you like really it must just be like karaoke night and people probably dancing and singing and he's what just like coming up i I don't know. I don't know. But if there are, quote, several complaints. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, not good at all. And also the fact that they think that they made a bunch of friends is like, oh, how many friends? He must think he has friends all over the world.

Yeah. With this attitude. But I bet. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Everyone he just like. Think about all these friends I made. Everyone he uncomfortably approaches in a restaurant or bar.

Add it to the list. His phone's just full of fake phone numbers. Like, just in case, I need to call on my friends. Oh, well, he has Judy's email now if he wants to reach out. Yeah, there you go. There was one I read that was like, I got kicked out after sitting at the bar for four hours and having so much fun and the bartender loved me.

And then I got kicked out because apparently the bartender told management that I was making her extremely uncomfortable. He's like, but we were having a great time. I was like, obviously one of you was not. Like, I don't really know. Four hours? Four hours. And he's like, I learned later that she had complained she was uncomfortable. And I'm like, yeah, I think maybe take a hint.

It sucks that he found out because you know i mean you know like i think because then if he approaches her like i bet that would lead some people to approach her and be like what was that about or something that's true but i mean i guess if you're like but i mean it because it doesn't sound like he's taking it in stride and being like oh like wow maybe i need to change he's like we had so much fun i was like i wow some people really just cannot trust me guys don't listen to her trust me she was having a blast you should have seen her face oh my turn yep i only have a redemption left you want me to just do the rest of my bad ones okay sorry y'all i had a hard time with um yelp there were not many on there that's okay they like caring for. I know they do.

I'll step out. So I have two here from Lion's Head Tavern. The first is by JL, one star. Accidentally mistaken the vacant 500-foot lot as open parking, and within 10 minutes got my car booted. I can understand a warning, but $120 ticket? I spoke with the management there. He basically had an amused smug look on his face when I asked him how, within 10 minutes of parking, I have to pay $120. Just the general attitude from this manager was

enough to literally never be a patron to this rundown business and the fact this unprofessional company with no name tags, with just a t-shirt and a handful of boots rundown dingy building should just open a paid parking lot and clearly label it as private and a review i did some research did you i google mapped this place yes you did there is no mistaking that this parking lot is for this establishment oh my goodness so how it works is there's an entrance and an exit and you pull in there's parking right in front of the building yeah it's like there's like the lot is right in front of the building attached to the building and there's like barriers on either side and there's like a barrier thing in the middle between the exit and entrance i mean so this person is saying they parked there and then

didn't go to this restaurant and then the restaurant had them and they said i thought it was open parking oh for god's sake and i'm i'm i looked at that google maps and i'm like what how how i just like that they think the manager had like a smug look when the manager's probably like i literally don't understand what to tell you you had to either drive in front of or next to this building in order to park there why would it be open to anyone he's like no sign so like that's not how it works i understand you do that and you get in trouble but like you're gonna go to yelp or google reviews to like do what like to do what to complain that you were an idiot and didn't know how to read a sign exactly i don't know i don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Anyway. I just don't know. I've got one more of Lion's Head Tavern. By a lion? Don might be a Leo. We don't know. I'm sure he is. Probably fucking Scorpio. D-A-W-N. Don. Oh.

That changes everything. Changes everything. One star. Patio umbrellas should be secured. End of review. Oh, is she okay? You know, I haven't heard back. I sent a detailed message asking.

She's flying around. For details. The Canadian skies. If you look really closely. She's like, I actually get great service up here in the atmosphere. That's something. She just floating around in that patio umbrella i want to see video or at least hear a story don i don't i don't want to just have take your word for it you know i i miss that one reviewer who explained how the patio furniture

like her like injured her deeply and then she on amazon and like it was something like oh a product that they didn't reuse correctly. It was that lounge chair. It was a lounge chair, and she got her head stuck in it. And blacked out, supposedly. And blacked out because it cut off all the restriction to her neck. And so I remember reading this and being like, wow. And then she went into full detail on how everything happened.

And I was like, none of this is the chair's fault. And I showed you the pictures. That's right were pictures oh my god good times so don i expect more from you yeah i need to hear everything so my last one's also a redemption so great we want mine quick i'm sure mine's really long um this is by gabrielle five stars of superstar Superstar Karaoke. It's not a text review. It's an image. Okay. It's a picture of the Since You've Been Gone music video. Like Kelly Clarkson.

Yes. Oh, my. It's like Kelly Clarkson singing. So it's literally just a picture of Kelly Clarkson singing Since You've Been Gone. Is the review the lyrics? I mean, it has the lyrics on there. They didn't type anything. They literally just attached this picture. Oh, that's the review. Yes. Well is the review the lyrics i mean it has the lyrics on there there's no they didn't type anything they literally just attach this that's the review well what are the lyrics i guess you never felt that way but since you've been gone oh i thought that was gonna be

like a really deep review no no no no no like since you've been gone i can breathe for the first time because the place closed down or something i just felt very good and i'm glad to know what gabrielle likes to sing in karaoke. I like that very much. I mean, clearly that's a great belted-out song. Five stars, here's our photo. There was another five-star karaoke review, and it was a selfie with three people,

but they wrote something like, like, drunk-nighted karaoke. Aw, see? It can be fun. Those are the kinds of reviews we want you guys to write. It can be fun to post nice things on the internet. Okay, I have one redemption, but it's a Christine redemption. What does that mean?

Who's to say if it's really a redemption or not? I'll say. It doesn't make you feel great, I guess. Oh my lord. You know. I hate these. This is by Tracy. I hate these.

This is by Tracy. Five stars of Barely's, where Blaze and I spent actually two evenings on our trip in Halifax. Tracy says, five stars. I admit it. For many years, I was one of those snots who turned my nose up at Barely's. I always associated the place with truckers. No offense. But truckers aren't exactly my demographic.

I also associated it with country music. I'm not sure why, because, duh, it's clearly well-known as the house of blues and jazz. And I associated it with beer swigging. I don't drink beer. At all. Not that I have anything against beer, but I simply cannot digest the stuff. T.M.I. Oh, this whole review is just like... I don't need any of this information.

A life story. There's more. You don't even want to know what happens when I try beer. Wait, keep... Stop! Then it says... I'm beer. Wait, keep... Stop! Then it says, I'm scared. Shudder.

Jesus. Now I think I know. I didn't want to know in the way you are describing it. Even she knew you didn't want to know and anyway told you. And yet, like, is heavily implying what happens.

I now heart Barely's. Big time! Two reasons. For the third year in a row, Barely's has been our Halloween party spot. Yes, you heard that right. Their annual Halloween party, featuring the awesome funkadelic mellow tones, is hands down the best venue for Halloween. And then the other night, I discovered another reason to love Barely's. Karaoke!

I know, where have I been, right? Who are you talking to? This is so conversational, but... It's so weird. As if we're close, and you're not afraid to admit things to me that you shouldn't say about truckers. About your bowel, your digestive system. It feels like one of those people you meet on a

public transportation or train or the airplane actually where they keep talking and you're trying to nod and indicate, read the room I'm trying to take a nap. Just a tip, if anyone approaches you and talks about bear release, just walk away. Hand them a beer.

Switch seats with someone. Yeah. Hand them a beer. They'll spend the rest of the flight in the bathroom. Actually, yeah, exactly. You're welcome, by the way, for that tip. Okay. I know.

Where have I been, right? Honestly. I can't believe I'm only discovering this now. My bestie from Toronto was visiting, and we wanted something cool and different to do on a Wednesday night between Christmas and New Year's when the rest of downtown was dead. And we're talking crickets. You're talking crickets. No, we're not talking anything. So I said, first as a joke, let's check out karaoke night at barely's boy we were in for a pleasant

surprise this was the most fun i've had in ages and i didn't even go up and sing i know what i was actually too shy this time around we did dance our butts off though and sang along at the top of our lungs anyway this was so the opposite of everything I hate about other bars and nightclubs. I.e. too young, too many skanks. Oh my God. It's spelled S-K-asterisk-N-K-S. So skunks. Skunks.

Maybe skunks. It is Canada. You never know. Their wildlife is different. Too many skunks. Skanks. Parentheses. Sorry, but wildlife is different. Too many skunks, skanks, parentheses, sorry, but it's true. Terrible music, pretentious staff. I could go on and on.

Yes, we know. On the contrary, these were real people from all different walks of life coming together and having a blast. And man, do they love their karaoke. Clearly they were regulars. And man, do they love their karaoke. Clearly they were regulars. Everyone seemed to know each other, and what was so endearing is how they all cheered and supported each other. Not just the great singers and performers, and by the way, we were blown away by some of them.

In particular, the ACDC guy. Truly unbelievable. But also the ones who couldn't really carry a tune but loved being on stage anyway. How friggin' cute is that? My friend said I need to find a tune but loved being on stage anyway. How freaking cute is that? My friend said I need to find a way to infiltrate this karaoke gang, so that will be my New Year's resolution. I don't think it'll be that hard. After all, everyone was so lovely and welcoming. And how excited am I that I no longer have to karaoke alone in my living room? Yes, I do do that, by the way. Hello, I'm Filipino. Need I say more? No, please don't. I have a feeling she will, though. I haven't tried the food, but I will next time. Drinks are decent and bar staff quite friendly and normal, which is really all that I

ask for in a bar. So maybe I'll see you on the next karaoke night i'll be rocking the blondie smiley face with a nose oh that's how yeah that's might have been ally she does do that so does eva actually yeah um you could have just done the last two sentences yeah fun and normal and good drinks yeah it was like oh just normal. Like, that's what I asked for. You'll be seeing me rocking out a karaoke. Like, that's all we needed. I'm talking crickets. Yeah.

The problem is, like, that's one of those five star reviews that's probably a net negative for the business. That's true. People are going to read it and be like, this woman who's like. This is not the vibe I'm looking for. Talking about skanks and truckers. Like, so. Yeah. The way she's like looking down on all these people. not the vibe i'm looking for talking about skanks and truckers like so like it's so yeah the way she's like looking down on all these people i mean i was gonna say it's one of my favorite

like she's clearly one of those people that i realize she actually says it where she's one of those people who says no offense like to things that are so outright offensive like yeah i always associated with truckers no offense it's like what what now everyone's offended what have you done sorry but it's true sorry but it's true i hate that so many skunks the place reeks anyway canada you need to get like a pest service or something yeah that's one of those uh redemptions where i normally would ahead of time say oh i'm glad we have a redemption from you because we need some uplifting things and then you read that and we all just feel like crap. Oopsies. God.

Do I put the redemption music behind it? I don't even know. Yeah. Okay. I want to hear the word skanks said. With the violins playing? Correct. Yeah.

Hopefully the timing works out. Right on the denouement. Oh. No more of that. It's been like 30 episodes since you said that, though. I said that recently and Em and Eve were like, wow, what a great word. And I was like, hell yeah. Nope. I wasn't there said that, though. I said that recently, and Em and Eve were like, wow, what a great word. Now it's like, hell yeah. Nope.

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entering code beach. Again, for $20 off your Buffy comforter, visit buffy.co and enter the code beach. comforter visit buffy.co and enter the code beach anyway we're gonna do my challenge now but first we want to tell you something really exciting that we forgot to tell you at the beginning we are posting our new york live show as a bonus episode this friday this friday you get to uh hear our new york show it was lots of fun we worked really hard on those reviews and they're really friggin funny. So please listen. You get to laugh along with other people and hear them laugh, I think. Actually, I don't even know.

I haven't listened to the audio. Funny they are. I blacked out the whole thing. I know, I know. I was too nervous. But we are also posting the video on YouTube if you'd rather watch it. And they had a professional videographer.

So like, it's pretty good. And if you watch it on YouTube, you get to watch the Q&A at the end. Yeah, they spread a professional videographer so like it's pretty good and if you watch it on youtube you get to watch the q a at the end yeah they uh spread a little q a on us which i knew about beforehand but had completely forgotten so you can watch us stand up to go i literally stood up to leave the stage and they were like and they're like nope sit down q a time and um we answered some questions i did not do a great job i talked about nick lachey for far too long we struggled but it was our first q a so next time maybe it'll be better if we ever do that again so check it out you can go to youtube.com slash c slash beach too sandy water too wet and it is there for the viewing and our

beautiful faces are there with our logo and the lighting like spotify did it up good yeah or you can just listen on your feed yeah whatever you whatever you want. And thank you very much to Anchor for hosting us. That was incredible. It was great. We had so much fun. And we're excited to share it with you. And thank you for everyone who came. Yeah.

And also, after that, this is a crazy Beach 2 Sandy week. On Monday, you're getting a Between You and Us episode. That's right. So you're going to have a long week. Never complain about not getting enough Beach 2 Sandy. Cancel all your plans. Time for my challenge time for your challenge what was it again so my challenge was to find reviews of an escape room

where the reviewer complained that they didn't escape because they weren't smart enough to do it um i struggled at first because when i searched these terms most of them were i would do like too hard or too difficult and people were like it wasn't too hard or it wasn't too easy wasn't too difficult like perfect like there were i tell you there were a lot of positive reviews of escape rooms like cool much more than any most other businesses i've looked at i mean i think it's because of all the work that you know goes into them because every time i leave an escape room i'm like wow that was original like this even if it was just one aspect of it i'm like wow i mean there are people who are like i've done hundreds and i'm like holy shit yeah um

so not everyone felt that way and i found those people so i have a few for you here the first one is called square room escape room two stars by natalie this was my second escape room experience i was so excited when I found out there was one down the street from our house because I really enjoyed my first escape room. Ryan, the owner, was very nice and went over the rules and all that. We did the Mario room. I'm giving only two stars for the following reasons. The decor in the Marioio room was just okay nothing special an almost empty room with mostly ikea furniture actually it was all ikea furniture what do you expect like a house like staging like some realty thing like what i think why would they spend money on anything but ikea

furniture it's just there to be there i think the funniest part is that she said with mostly i keep for insurance then instead of deleting that in writing with all like she said actually on second thought like she like added to that's true added a whole new sentence to fix the first one just why some of the clues were so close in similarity that we accidentally skipped two crucial steps parentheses maybe because we are geniuses jk you didn't have to say jk no comment the other guy there forgot his name very nice dude came in to give us a hint because we were so confused and when he realized we skipped two clues he decided to chit chat with us about how this isn't the first time this happened okay so then fix the problem we would have gotten out in time if he hadn't wasted our four minutes talking to us. He said

he was going to tell Ryan to give us some extra minutes, and he didn't, but whatever. It's no big deal. I'm very much over it. Ryan told us we do not need to know anything about Mario to do the game. Not entirely true. You definitely need to know Mario characters and their names. I am a fan of Mario, but I guess I just needed to know more about Mario. I have to say that some of the clues were very creative. Some were physics and math. Who pays money to do math? I hate math and I am bad at it. I was annoyed. Good thing one of our friends is an engineer. And good thing my husband is a math whiz. They should definitely pay some attention to the props.

They are kind of dirty. I didn't like you can see tapes on some of the props. I don't know, maybe that's just the perfectionist designer in me? Question mark? Shudder. It would be nice if they offered a small discount for the future for people who win. If you win, you get... By the way, they didn't win, so I don't know. Like, what?

They didn't escape, so I don't really understand. But they knew that's that that uh incentive incentive yeah if you win you get your picture on the wall maybe a tiny little cutesy two-inch polaroid on a wall with hundreds of others lol yay question mark whoa she's a perfectionist designer in case you forgot they should also invest a little on their photo booth props because they look like they were printed and glued on a stick at home while watching Netflix? Probably were. Yeah. That's fine.

I would think so. I do most of my work on a couch watching Netflix, so it seems to work for me. We're watching Netflix right now. Yeah. We're watching House of Cards with Kevin Spacey. Oh, God. So overall, I wasn't impressed. It was still a bit fun,

but I won't be going back to try the Harry Potter room because I don't know anything about Harry Potter. But they said they change their themes every six months, so that's nice, smiley face. Maybe I'll be back then, but only if there's no more math. End of review. So I know that was a lot.

That was a lot to digest. But I mean, I think it's clear that she couldn't pass it. And she said, if only they had four minutes. Yeah, I accept it. But also, she didn't know Mario. She also didn't know the Mario characters. And, I mean, like, complaining about the math thing aspect, it's, like, it's all part of it. I will say, though, this one apparently like you literally spend like 15 to 20

minutes doing worksheets of math oh really yeah it's like one of the biggest issues they had and like then the harry potter room apparently there's just a bunch of sudoku oh geez i do love sudoku but but like literally part of the puzzle is so she did have a good point saying who pays for math most people were like this is homework what are you doing making me do homework? Yeah, because there should have. I mean, yeah. So it should be more like a mix where some people who are good at math can do some things and other creative stuff. I don't know.

I love escape rooms. Me too. Yeah. All right. Scott wrote one of horror escape. Oh, yeah. I forgot you liked them. Allie doesn't like them.

Oh, really? Yeah. Why? Oh, she doesn't like games. I forgot she's one of those said that so like she and m like there are multiple people in my life who hate alexis um some of my closest friends and i'm like i don't understand you live with alexis we never played games she never played games with us rude except the time we all did a ouija board we oh god i

forgot about that yeah we had to play to play Scotland Yard all by ourselves. I mean, come on. How cruel is that? Ali does like a good game of Farkle, though. Oh, yeah. And Em likes an escape room, so maybe they balance each other out. I'd say so. All right, Horror Escape by Scott.

Didn't escape. What a waste of money for my daughter and I. Obviously, from other reviewers we are in the minority maybe we were not in the right frame of mind but it was so difficult to get very far without a lot of help and hints from the front desk clerk or more likely i'm just very bright i'm pretty sure you meant to say not very bright oh no, no. I know, because it doesn't make any sense. I'm like, oh, this guy is full of themselves. And I'm like, but wait, that doesn't make sense. I went back to Yelp to check it.

I'm like, no, he wrote, or more likely, I'm just very bright. And I was like, I don't think that's what he meant. Anyway, it goes on. Oh, no. If you're able to solve abstract puzzles think way outside the box then this is probably going to be okay for you i felt like i just threw fifty dollars away and kicked myself leaving the place having had a better use of the money end of review that one was just a bummer didn't reveal what the better use of the money yeah it says he had a better use of the money i'm kicking himself

maybe just go to urgent care the whole time he's, what could I have spent this $50 on? He's looking around the room. He's like trying to think outside the box. I can't think of any place outside of this large room called the box. It's the square room after all. The square room, yeah. How many stars was that? One.

That kind of stinks that they would do that. I mean, if, and even that last one like there were some good positive things but yeah that one was two stars yeah but like this one with the um with the thing he even said like i read the other reviews and we were like the only ones who couldn't solve it so i mean he knows that it's not like whatever anyway i'm gonna read you one of uh escape room la have you done that the one we went to? No, I've only done one in LA and that was with you. Yeah, me too.

Em set it up for my birthday one year. I don't have my internet on. I'm not sure. Perhaps, but there are a lot in LA. But like every time I go home to Cincinnati, my friends and I were like, what do we do with this like blank, like three hours of time? It's like, oh, let's spend an hour at an escape room. They're fun.

Yeah, I have a blast. Cliff says the opposite, though. Escape Room LA, one star. I wish there was an option to give half star. Is that our first one of those? I don't think so. Oh. Because I think we've reacted to one before.

Probably. I'm glad you stopped me then because I would have done the same thing. I wish there was an option to give Halfstar. We attempted a couple of times at this place, and the last time we were a group of ten friends whom were sure to escape. Obviously not. Foreshadowing. However, these rooms are made so challenging that makes it very difficult to escape in 55 minutes. We tried the Alchemist before which

alchemist i say alchemist yeah you're right i say it wrong every time i mean like i play runescape so i know about alchemy but yeah we tried the alchemist before which seems to have more direction so in our last attempt we tried another room the detective that's detective christina i've watched the Great Mouse Detective. Detective shit. Okay, continue. I'm done. Are you done? I'm done. Well, in this room there is no direction whatsoever. We did not know where to start off since clues and puzzles were scattered everywhere.

There is no direction. I know, I know, I know. There aren't large arrows pointing to what we're supposed to do. There is no direction or continuity. Apparently there were 25 puzzles and we solved 23. It seems we were two puzzles away from escaping. If you do math, you have two minutes

and ten seconds to solve each puzzle. However, those two minutes could be easily spent by simply reading the directions in the letters and folders or by listening to the phone call. Certainly that takes so much time that makes it impossible for anyone to escape. I have a feeling that that works it's not impossible if you are willing to try and escape from a room do not attempt at this location you will never escape i don't think that's

true i don't think they have a zero percent pass rate i mean they test these thoroughly but they were each a group of 10 friends whom were sure to escape so obviously too many cooks in the kitchen it sounds like that happens i do you know how many fucking reviews started with too many cooks in the kitchen so i'm sorry over there well i bet you didn't pick any so now we all got to hear it great if you are willing to try and escape from a room do not attempt at this location you will never escape i can recommend you other escape rooms better in la area there are some on Sunset Boulevard. I understand that these escape rooms

are meant to be challenging and fun. However, the fun goes away when there is no direction and everything is scattered. Every what makes it impossible to escape and have fun. Part of having fun is solving the puzzles and escaping. My group of 10 friends was a little disappointing from this room. Certainly we are planning to escape from a room,

but we know that our option will be somewhere else in a place where there is challenge, but there is more direction. End of review. I like that Freudian slip of, uh, my friends were disappointing. You just knocked my headphones off with that one.

Oh, blast of humor coming your way, everyone. Wowza. Uh, what a gust. Um, that, that is a very good point i think maybe he's blaming his friends whom we're sure to escape uh there's a response from owner oh wow okay uh-oh the owner got really mad at everybody all the time not all the time really but he seemed to be a little bit

defensive oh no john says i probably do put a lot of hard work into these realms. Oh, yeah. And I mean, in this case, like, he's not wrong. John says, I'm very sorry to hear that you did not enjoy The Detective. This game is approaching its third year, during which time we've been honored to have more than 25,000 participants making The Detective one of the longest running and most popular escape room games in the country. I'm sorry to hear that you felt the game had no direction.

The very beginning of the game includes specific instructions on what your mission is and what must be accomplished, including the steps you must take to succeed. In addition, there is a clue in very plain sight that actually says this will get you started. I'm also sorry to hear that... That's what I was thinking when you were like, there should be an arrow or whatever. I'm like, I think there like literally is. That's so funny. I'm also sorry to hear that you are not successful at figuring out all the puzzles and escaping. But I don't clearly follow the logic that leads you to conclude that this is somehow the fault of the game. Wow. End of response.

Okay. And that's that one. I have one more. A little bit of sassafras. Now this one is, I just stumbled upon it while finding reviews. Okay. If it doesn't fit that's okay it's just it's good it's it's bad this is a review by dan of america's escape room one star

so there's an original okay i'll just read it to you is it trump themed the escape room you're just trapped oh god i think i'd get a record time on that one like from for my personal you're a white man i'm saying no i'm saying like you got to escape trump or something the whole point is like fuck you got to get out of this why would you get record time because i want to get out of there oh sure i mean i think we all do but yeah yeah i'm not saying record for them i'm saying record for me like in all of you just bust a hole in the wall and climb out. Yeah.

Okay, got it. Hit the panic button. There's like Bill Cosby in the corner, like looking through the one-way mirror. Okay. Original review. This is what he wrote. Original review. Currently waiting in Florida Hospital's waiting room for my wife.

Because basketball portion of their face-off room is so poorly planned that it caused myself to re-tear my leg muscle and caused her to bang her head into the wood which is now causing her dizziness and nausea. Employees even admitted that the area probably needed foam padding and indicated they used to have it but it got messed up and never got replaced. We were really looking forward- These employees are in trouble. Why would you say that. We were really looking forward to this as our 25th room. Now I can't even say how disappointed. Why? Because you had a concussion? You have an emergency bill. Oh, you can't. Like, why can't you say it? I don't get it. He puked on his iPad and it stopped working. Updated review. Of our group of six, one ended up with a concussion, updated review of our group of six one ended up with a concussion one ended up with a torn muscle and five ended up covered in bruises honestly i've never been this disappointed by an escape room

what happened in there what were they doing i just like i've no i like how he says it's not like i've never been this disappointed in an outing with my friends it's like in an escape room in particular yeah definitely this has happened to other uh at other outings like applebee's and whatever else they do but never in an escape room they thought that was a safe spot for them to go to a number 25 lucky gosh what kind of a this is an intense escape room i just love that he re-tore his already torn muscle and then she banged her head on something yeah yikes god that's scary yeah um they're gonna get this the shit suit out of them, I think, maybe. Absolutely.

Yeah. Apparently, even though you have to sign a waiver, apparently, if it's still negligence on the part of the business, the waiver doesn't protect them. Yeah, yeah. Which makes sense, obviously. I imagine. I mean, I don't know that what he is saying is true, obviously. It's interesting.

I mean, they have cameras in there, though. I don't know if they record everything but they at least have cameras so yeah yeah so that's my last one great that was good that was good i like that i liked hearing the escape room reviews we've never had those before so that was fun i'm sorry i ended up with everyone's in the emergency room in florida of all places all right are we ready to reveal our theme and challenge for next week yes sir well some of you know i went to patreon and polled our patrons and asked them hey what country do you want to go to i did it based on our listenership i i think i put like eight countries uh it was a tight race but we have a winner ireland Ireland! I was actually surprised.

I didn't know that we had... That is exciting. That's a surprise. Yeah, I was excited. I was like, cool, okay. We can easily find them in English. From Canada to Ireland. Since I don't know much at all

about Dublin, Ireland, I decided to do something that I know there are a lot of. Great. And so the theme for next week is Tesco's in Dublin,ireland tesco is a supermarket chain okay i have heard of that i think yeah i mean they're all over yeah that area of the world um well i have a challenge so actually i wanted to say um a celebrity reached out to us this week

on email i don't know if you saw uh her name's megan and she is a Yelp elite. Oh, I did see that. Hi, Megan. And I just, I was so taken aback. Overlord. Stunned. She says, hey, guys, love your podcast so much. As a Yelp elite, you crack me the hell up. So I'm very honored that we don't fucking offend you every five seconds. Well, we haven't gotten to Megan's reviews.

She says, hopefully you don't come across my dramatic one-star reviews. My friends make fun of me all the time. You're just inviting us in. I know. I was like, Megan. I'm so tempted now. Watch yourself, man. Next week, our special episode is going to be Megan.

One-stars by Megan. So she sent some ideas here. And now I kind of tweaked one of the the so one of her suggestions was one star acting class reviews in la which i thought was kind of funny but so i tweaked it a bit acting class reviews where the person name drops celebrities oh i like that okay good okay and there are probably plenty because i know a lot of those schools are like taylor lautner went here and it was like and that's the only thing here's a list of people who are on our list of our alumni. It's like Taylor Lautner is a huge picture and the rest are like.

I like to think that the people who write the reviews that are negative are like, and I'm a great actor because I'm friends. My uncle is so-and-so. Steven Spielberg told me that I had moxie. When I was four and I wrote him a letter and his assistant wrote me one back. But I had Moxie. When I was four and I wrote him a letter and his assistant wrote me one back. When I came to his house and broke it. Kid, you got Moxie.

Now get out of my house. Good times. Good times. I thought we weren't going to talk about that night anymore. But anyway, thanks everyone for listening. It's going to be a weird episode next week. I already have a feeling in my gut. But thankfully you have a couple to prepare until we get there. You got our bonus episode this Friday. Oh, right. That's our live show in my gut. But thankfully, you have a couple to prepare until we get there. You got our bonus episode this Friday.

Oh, right. That's our live show in New York. And then on Monday, you get Between You and Us February edition. Woohoo! So go take a listen to those. And we'll see you next week for our regularly scheduled programming. Don't miss us too much. Bye. Bye.