Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 78: Craft Stores in Raleigh, NC

Episode Date: May 20, 2020

The Schiefer Siblings are coming out to play! And they're on a mission... to normalize... constipation? God this episode is messy. If you want, you're welcome to dive headfirst into this mess of crazy craft store reviews and reviews of cat cafes from people allergic to cats. This episode is not sponsored by Eagle-Eye Cherry, but we wish it was as he's pretty much the coolest.  Follow Alex on Twitch to watch our upcoming Jackbox Games nights! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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For those who are patrons already, there's a link in the Facebook group and on Patreon to join our Discord server, where we will be giving out codes for the Jackbox Night, so you can actually play with us. And if you have no idea what any of this means, just disregard this message. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to episode 70-something. Hey.

Eight of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Alex. I'm Christine, and also I was hoping you'd feel, because as the understudy, I was really waiting for my big break. I've been practicing all week. Someday I'll get a chance. Welcome. Today's episode is reviews of craft stores in Raleigh, North Carolina. I am pumped for this one. Me too. And people seem

to be excited. We had a couple posts from people on social media saying, I used to work at a Joanne Fabrics. Can't wait to hear what you find. Yeah, there was a huge thread on our Patreon-only Facebook group. People were talking about all their jobs in craft stores. Yeah. I mean, and I've learned a lot from this research about craft stores which actually i used to attend before covid i used to attend attend attend them craft stores yes well i used to visit them frequently um well you'd attend their like prayer circles at the hobby lobby right oh yeah it did made you laugh so hard it hurt it did um yes no so i'm excited about this i've craft stores is not one that i had thought of and i am amped well thank you to ellie for thinking of

it yes you suggested this i appreciate it so let's get into it let's go i have a review of michael's uh this is by a review by jessica one star the last couple of times I shopped in the store, the line was obnoxiously long. As I stand here in line now, the people who just checked out passed by us saying they waited almost an hour. It's just a normal Monday night at 6pm. I can't fathom why the cashiers aren't moving any faster. The store has aimlessly wandering employees who seem unfettered by the aggravated customers in the growing line wrapping around their store. There are buggies all over the store and parking lot. What is happening in this Michaels? End of review. The prayer circle has started. I know. Hello. I know. It's a busy time of day. It's busy.

Believe it or not, it's a store that has a busy time. And you don't think that this is an exaggeration, right? That the line literally wraps around the entire store? I don't think so. No, I think it's absolutely. I think it's the honest truth. The honest, accurate truth. Especially that there are just wandering employees aimlessly who are unfettered.

It's so funny that Jessica thinks that they know. Like, oh yeah, I know that this employee is just aimlessly who are unfettered. It's so funny that, that, that, um, Jessica thinks that they know, like, oh yeah, I know that this employee is just aimlessly wandering. Not, there's nothing important that they're doing. There's nothing important in their mind. They're just doing this all aimlessly in order to make us mad. Yeah. They love to make people, that's what people in retail, that that's like a little known fact. They just love to piss you off. Yeah. That's, that's actually what their existence is based on. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, and so the anger you get at them, the better for sure. Okay. So I have a review of AC Moore arts and crafts. This is a one-star review by Nikki. AC Moore should consider that nobody wants to listen to the sad overplayed tracks of the 1990s.

Please consider investing in Spotify to boost the spirits of the shopping crafters. Crafting is fun, but why would I want to spend my hard-earned money in a place that plays an infinite loop, including She's So High, Save Tonight, Closing Time, Babylon, Every Day is a Winding Road, Everything You Want, I Know, One of Us, Truly, Madly, Deeply, Bittersweet symphony stay 3 a.m along december anything by counting crows i try where have all the cowboys gone torn i will remember you thank you if you could only see all i want all for you i love you always forever breakfast at tiffany's two princes barely breathing roll to me follow you down you gotta be i feel terrible for the staff who have to listen to this crap every day on repeat. This review is for you. I hear you. And I wish you didn't have to hear this.

End of review. Wow. Did they just copy and paste a list of songs from the 90s? I'm pretty sure Nikki lives in the vents. There's no other reason that she would have a full literal full list on loop of the like 25 songs that this place plays and it's insane to me that they're like this is their now apparently mission and they feel like they're doing it for the employees writing a one-star review which by the way a lot of times the employees pick the music that is not always but in some stores very true um i just also i got a lot of

songs stuck in my head as i oh my god right i wanted to sing some of them like save tonight i was about to say that's the one that got stuck in my head from your list and bittersweet symphony i mean this sounds like a great playlist but also i probably have weird taste in music like i just love all that i would get sick of it probably pretty quickly and i would skip many songs yeah but also they were like sad songs like two princes i mean that's a jam that when i heard that i'm like that's not a sad song i mean come on we could get a jam session i would love to quilt to that song they're gonna be like all they play is mazzy star and then i'd be like yeah that is a pretty fucking sad stuff i don don't know what that is. Never mind. Okay.

But I would like, I mean, listen, so Matchbox 20, get my quilting shears out or whatever they're called. And I would have a blast. Exactly. Like this is weirdly, I think that it kind of fits the crafting world, but not that reviewers crafting world. So, you know, everything revolves around them. Nikki has great taste in music invest in spotify like how do you know they're not using spotify to play these

songs exactly how you would literally find a playlist called like alt 90s yeah exactly oh wait i just realized there's more to the review oh good oh thank goodness here's more songs no i'm just kidding oh my god i was like there's no way i'm just kidding. Oh my God. I was like, there's no way. I'm just teasing. It says, my real review. If all you're looking for are cute buttons to sew onto a new sweater you just knitted for a toddler, you may need to look elsewhere. The button selection was terse. A lot of plastic, whereas I wanted wood or natural options. End of review.

Wow. So that's the real review. That's a very niche review. You're very niche review. Very niche. It's like specifically against 90s music and plastic buttons. Those are my two non-negotiables. If only they had known. If only AC Moore was like, you know, Nikki's coming in today.

Better restock the wooden buttons. Better change the playlist. Tom, get out back. There's an oak tree where we carve all our buttons for nikki oh my god save tonight is that eagle eye cherry or something yes that is correct god very good it's gonna be stuck in my head the rest of the episode and probably in other people's heads who are listening to this all right my second review don't know and then they're like that sounds terrible you're just saying save tonight the only words we know actually it's not

oh yeah despite the break of dawn come tomorrow tomorrow i'll be gone save tonight we're gonna get copyright of dawn yeah because this sounds this sounds so similar to the original that they're not going to know the difference. Yeah, so true. All right. Here's a review of Joanne Fabrics and Crafts by P1star. Talking about constipation issues in front of customers is not recommended. End of review. Whoa.

You did not expect that one, huh? That took me by surprise. It's not recommended yeah that's just a gentle suggestion gentle a nudge if you will in in in a direction i won't say the right direction in a direction because i don't know the specific scenario maybe it was relevant to the conversation like a gi shaming maybe necessary yes i would say yeah normalize bathroom problems oh normalize constipation yeah i mean it's not inherently gross is it i don't think so i mean it depends i guess it depends at least it's not a food yeah you're not no one's eating here yeah maybe you are i don't know i

don't know what joanne the hot dogs stand outside of joanne's fabric true they're famous for that here come the carrots making their way up field followed by the whole wheat bread over to the two dozen eggs sir do you do this every time sorry i've been a little excited ever since i got this bemo toronto cashback mastercard. Oh, and the broccoli boots it over the line. What a goal. How would you like to pay, sir? Credit, please. Make every purchase a win with the BMO Toronto FC cashback mastercard with up to 5% cashback on your purchases in your first three months. Terms and conditions apply. Okay. Should I read my next one? Okay.

So Ellie, who suggested the theme, suggested I take a look at one specific Joanne Fabrics. Okay. So I did, and I found this review on Yelp. This is by Shannon. Two stars. Like Leslie F., I also felt myself decaying as I was waiting in the line to get some fabric cut. I have heard other people talk about how Joanne's has great fabric selection, but the service is awful. It was not just idle chat. That was the truth.

I found the items I needed and was dreading the visit to the cutting table, but decided to buck up, get a good attitude going, and it will be fine. Passive-aggressive Shannon came out to play as the lady who was helping us acted as if she had just taken a big scoop of poop. Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I like how Shannon's like, I decided to have a good attitude and then immediately became passive-aggressive. Anyone who says that themselves came out to play is somebody I don't like. Oh, that's who they're talking about? They're talking about themselves? That's why I was confused.

Themselves. Oh my God. This is someone I don't want to speak to ever. So she decided to buck up, get a good attitude, and it will be fine. However, passive aggressive Shannon came out to play as the lady who was helping us acted as if she had just taken a big scoop of poo poo to eat well you know what that's good normalize yeah that's good news that means the joint is because this is what oh they're probably at the same fucking place what's do you have the address or no but it was like noose road or

nice yes it is yes n-e-u-s-e yeah yeah christina they're connected here ellie is there a reason you wanted me to look at this particular joanne there's something going on here i think that this is this means that the constipation problems are done with oh you're right this means that it's all over for the constipated person what another eating it yeah now no i got a good scoop of it. No! To make sure that her health was okay. Passive-aggressive Shannon came out to play as the lady was helping us act as if she had just taken a big scoop of poo-poo to eat before I walked up and asked her for help. Oh, jeez! Thankfully, I only had two items for her to cut. As she made

snarky comments about the fabric, how I should bring it to her next time, my taste in fabric, etc. I came back at her. Not very grown up, I know. They didn't say what they said, which I'm really bummed. Of course not. They would never admit to what they said. I think I will resort to ordering fabric online next time or look for a fabric locale that is privately owned nearby to give them my business. Hopefully they will appreciate it. End of review. I just like doubt that the person cutting fabric has the like energy and time and care to make fun of your taste in fabric. What probably happened was some sort of misunderstanding or someone taking things too personally that was not even meant to be directed at them. I would find that hard to believe.

I wonder if her comeback was like, you sound like you just ate a big scoop. Because that is not something I would want to be told. No. While I was working a retail position. I wouldn't be happy. Yeah, I wouldn't be happy about that. And I also wouldn't be happy dealing with passive aggressive customers. Shannon's particularly.

Yeah. Yeah. Who came out to play, which yikes. We don't want to play with Shannon. Please don't ever talk about yourself as coming out to play which yikes we don't want to play with shannon please don't ever talk about yourself as coming out to play because it just makes you sound really uncomfortable to be around that's my moral of the story if you want to be her friend don't say that everyone good tip good advice for your future friends please be my friend somebody no my next one is from good old hobby lobby we love a good hobby love it first we have to do the

sign of the cross oh sorry actually wait i guess that's catholic i know the sun i don't think they're catholic they're not catholic no they're uh like evangelical i don't know what the fuck i think they sing about jesus nice try should i play acoustic guitar you just want me to sing about jesus sing about jesus all i want all i want just want me to sing about jesus sing about jesus all i want is for you to sing about jesus how much i'm not asking that's my next podcast okay um this is a one-star review by carrie of hobby lobby this trip to the hobby lobby was the worst trip to a store i have ever done in my life. They were rushing me out every five minutes.

They literally told me in person throughout the store and overhead on the speaker, an assistant would say, blank minutes till we close. I felt so rushed. When I walked in, the store was going to close in 20 minutes. And the woman told me, 20 minutes? I was thoroughly annoyed. When I went to walk out, I had to tie my shoes. When I bent down to tie my shoes, the woman stood across from me. And when someone would leave the store, she would say, have a good night.

And I'm pretty sure she shot me a look every time she would say that. End of review. What? Wow. Someone is paranoid. Somebody thinks the world revolves around them. Very much so. First of all, you go into a store with 20 minutes left and you're like, or 20 minutes before they close.

And you're bothered by the fact that over the intercom, they're announcing that they are closing soon? That's the thing. What? Have you never been in a store before? It's a craft store. People, I have literally spent hours in a craft store because sometimes it's hard to find what you're looking for, especially if they're natural wooden buttons. And sometimes it's just like you wander. And they do that. They announce that for a reason because they don't want people like you.

Because they want to annoy you because they work in the service industry. Of course, that's how they get off you know but also like you know this person what's their name carrie you know carrie like definitely was on her way out and then like decided to tie her shoe right before she walked out the door as like a as like a just one more minute and then like thinking they're gonna shoot me some nasty looks and i love how the one quote they can say is like yeah and as other people left so not only did they stop to tie their shoes but they took long enough where other people could leave the store and walk past them but also they were like close enough to the exit that they could hear the person saying goodbye to them

all they can quote the the person people saying, multiple things were quoted. Literally, blank minutes till we close. The second thing was 20 minutes. The third thing was, have a good night. That's all these people said. All these employees said. But the looks. But the looks. That she's pretty sure were shot towards her.

It wasn't even like, oh yeah, look at the looks they're giving me. It's like she went out seeking some sort of conflict and nobody would give it towards her. Like, it wasn't even like, oh yeah, look at the looks they're giving me. It's like she went out seeking some sort of conflict and like nobody would give it to her. I did watch a video of a woman who posted, thinking that she was in the right, a video going up to a Gelson's grocery store where they required masks. And the person said, I'm sorry, I can't let you in without a mask. And she said, well, I have a medical condition and I can't, so I can't wear a mask. And HIPAA says, I don't have to tell you

what my condition is. And she was like, can I speak to your manager? And she was being really rude about it too. So the guy got his manager and the manager came out and she told him that. And he was like, okay, we can shop for you and then bring the stuff out to you. Right, so you don't risk with your medical condition going into a store. And they give a very was like, okay, we can shop for you and then bring the stuff out to you. So you don't risk with your medical condition going into a store.

And they give a very logical, like, oh, well, we'll help you with that. And she was like, well, I have private things I want to get that you can't see. From Gelson's. Yeah. And he was like, well, I'm sorry. I can't help you then. That's all I can do. And she was like, well, how would I even pay?

And he was like, well, we can take your card and we'll charge it and she was like give you my private credit card she started how else do you think you pay i know i know i cannot it was a bizarre video anyway so it's these people who believe that like i rant over i watch that video though and it bothered the shit out of me well yeah did she post it yes and even like said her full name in it. Like, this is blah, blah, blah at this Gelsund. I'm here and they're not letting me in because I don't, I'm not wearing a mask. Yeah, because nobody else wants to get your fucking insurance. And she was like yelling at them that they're discriminating against her because of it.

And they're like, actually, we're giving you superior service. And the guy says, no, like, we will offer this to help you so that you can shop still here. But you just cannot come in a store. Okay, well, I have one that's, it's a redemption. It's five stars. But I say that with my, you know, upward question mark voice. The way you said it was terrible. And I hate it already.

It's, um, it's not like that bad. I just, I can't figure out how to categorize it. So this is a redemption of Joe and Fabrics. Four stars by Angela. I think this place has come a long way in the last couple of years. The wait is not as long as it used to be, but still long for getting fabric cut. The people working there are so much better than the folks who worked there five years ago. They've added some designer fabric and some great poly wovens lately.

So if you have been boycotting this store for the last couple of years, like I have been, you can come back now. Why was there a boycott? Because they had long lines and bad people. And that's why. Yeah. For some reason, I'm thinking like, no, there was also some major thing going on. She was saying she stopped going for years.

And she likes to think that she's boycotting because it's a it's a great cause for humanity because i hear boycott and i assume there's some major scandal or something yeah they didn't have polywovens oh my lordy okay so well it's sort of redemption because it is because hey it's at least someone who can say okay hey i've given them another chance but also I was an asshole for several years. Yes. And somehow attempted to call it a boycott, even though it's really nothing close to that. No. Your turn. I, too, have a redemption.

Who's that? This is of Jerry's Artorama of Raleigh. Oh, I saw that. I didn't look at any of these. And they said, shop, and they added to their Google page shop inside pickup delivery. So they have options for people now for that lady at the who can't wear a mask. Yeah. Here's a review by Andrew and it's five stars.

Jerry's is the ultimate place to shop for anything related to art. They have top quality supplies for the lowest prices found. Their staff is friendly and knowledgeable and have helped me many times find what I was looking for when I didn't even know exactly what that was. From doodlers to fine artists, this store has everything you'll need. Heck, they'll even professionally frame your doodle when you're done with it. Thanks for a wonderful experience and a review. Aww. Yeah, I thought that was nice. And nice little reminder to support your local small businesses if you can during these times.

Normalize doodles. Jesus Christ, you're going to run that into the ground. I want to boycott something. Angela got me fired up, ready to boycott. But I'm not going to boycott arts. Your local craft stores? Nope, I'm not. Because I'm a do a doodler actually you're a doodler i'm a fine artist wow okay well then i'm sure plenty of our listeners would frame my doodles

it ain't easy to say goodbye darling please don't start to cry. Cause girl, you know I've got to go. And Lord, I wish it wasn't so. Save tonight. Oh my God. I'm like, what are these? Is that the-

I'll fight the break. Oh, dawn comes tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be gone. Tomorrow comes to take me away. wish that i that i could stay are you looking up the lyrics no of course you are no but i don't know this part but girl you know i guess i do i got to go and lord i wish it wasn't so no one wants this this is my local craft store where we only play eagle eye cherry that's it that's it on the loop okay well um you'll get no customers fine artists only

fine artists no doodlers okay no masks allowed no oh my god it went from i didn't think it could get any worse hourly prayer circle oh my! Oh my god, never mind. It keeps getting worse. This is so dumb. Christine's Crafts has a great ring to it. She's crying. She's cracking herself up so much, she's crying right now. We talk about our bowel movements at Christine's Crafts, and we sing Eagle Eye Cherry. Well, I sing it. Christine's Crafts and we sing Eagle Eye Cherry.

Well, I sing it. No one else can. I sing Eagle Eye Cherry. You're literally taking all one-star reviews that you can find and turning them into a craft store. And? And nobody will want that. Fine arts only. Okay.

Next up is A Redemption of Michaels. Nice. This is a four-star review by Eula. I love Beverly. she always acknowledges customers she will speak or if she's farther away she will wave she cares about customer service and seems to enjoy what she's doing the store itself is okay but yes i'm a fan of Beverly semicolon she is exceptional wow I'm a fan of Beverly now too I just love that Beverly

if she's too far away to speak to you she'll just wave like she won't come toward you she'll just wave from afar she does what she can Beverly is just a gem I mean she's exceptional really

yeah that's quite a word that's that says a lot. Yeah. It tells me a lot about Beverly. It tells me all I need to know. Especially when most of the time, people at Michaels are just wandering, employees are

just wandering around aimlessly. Yeah. Unfettered by the long lines. Unfettered. Unfettered. But thankfully, Beverly is fettered. Beverly's so fettered, like, you wouldn't even know that you were at a Michaels. No.

She just, like... You wouldn't believe it. You'd think you're at a beverly's she just waves she just waves and like things are things are okay this is another one where there's like four or five spaces after each sentence which i don't get it like i don't know why that's a thing that a lot of older people do i don't know i've noticed that pattern but i don't know why that is. Even after the comma, there's one, two, three, four spaces. I don't know. I don't know.

But I think it does make sense. That is weird. I mean, I guess like with typewriters, when you do like a double... I was just thinking that. Maybe. I think that was a thing. Well, I will say, Eula is making a statement. That's one word for it.

Yeah. So those are all my reviews. Nice. Okay. Well, that means it's time for my challenge great i can't wait my challenge was sent in by max and it was to find a review of a cat cafe by a person who's allergic to cats oh hell yeah okay so got a couple emails that i'll go through first um just two and then go into my own so all right so uh this first one is an email from foley who um shared a one-star review of the catcade in chicago catcade this is a one-star review by l i wanted to love this, but my experience was very disappointing. I've been suffering from a serious on-and-off-again sinus infection for two straight weeks after spending just an hour at the catcade two Saturdays ago.

In addition to sinus issues, I had itchy eyes and an itchy face within hours of leaving the catcade. Also, making matters worse, one of the cats bit me. Totally crazy! More on that in a moment. Oh, thank God. Don't worry. Regarding the sinus infection, unbeknownst to me, I appear to have a terrible cat allergy

that I never had experienced just being around one or two cats. I have no doubt the cat cade triggered my current excruciating sinus problems. There were way too many cats in too small an area. Literally like when I'm around one or two cats, it's no problem. But when I go into a cat cafe dedicated to having a shit ton of cats, for some reason it's worse so what is her plan like you're gonna have one cat per six square feet social distancing rules like i don't understand it's not a bad idea god it is though yeah it actually is back to my cat bite oh my god all i did was slowly move my hand towards a cat's head to gently caress it. And in lightning speed, the cat turned its head and bit the top of my left hand.

The cat was sitting next to me on one of the couches. It was reasonable for me to assume a certain level of safety when slowly reaching to pet it. I thought these cats were at least somewhat socialized animals. I think this place misrepresented its cats by giving me a false sense of comfort and ease that the cats were comfortable around people. Also, there must have been over 25 cats in the room when I was there. That includes a whole new group of cats that were brought into the room during my hour visit. According to one of the cat handlers there that day, those new cats had never been in the catcade until that very moment. Not safe, in my opinion. I went to the catcade with an open mind, hoping to perhaps adopt one of their cats.

After that experience, no way. Thank God. Yeah, really. Thank God. Before going into the room with the cats, you must sign a release. After my experience, it is very obvious why. If you are going to visit this place, I suggest wearing thick gloves when petting the cats, just in case one snaps at you. I would also not assume the cats at this place like people, and that they want to interact with visitors.

If you are going to visit the catcade, I suggest not interacting with the cats, and instead just observing them. End of review. Literally, they are animals. Rule number one. Never, never assume a cat likes humans. Because they never like, they don't like humans. That is a very bold assumption. You're right.

You're right. Like on her part, you mean? Yes. Oh, absolutely. It's still a cat. Like, it doesn't, just because you... These cats aren't getting, like, paid to be nice to people. They're just there.

They're not there for tips. No, what? The thought of i mean truly honestly probably i would have bit that lady too if her hand if her hand was coming really slowly toward my face i think that's alarming yeah i don't know i don't know i agree i think it's silly to and also it's so funny how they're like well now i get why they made me sign a release it's like well yes now the restaurant or, now I get why they made me sign a release. It's like, well, yes. Now the restaurant or now the cafe gets why they made you sign a release because you're

wandering around like. You don't have a leg to stand on because you signed the release. That's the point of the release. Cat bit it off. I'm going to be honest with you. That was the only negative review I have. Like overall one star review. Huzzah.

I have. Like overall one star review. Huzzah! I know. So here is, this is one that Stephanie sent in of Le Cat Cafe in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, written by Tina, four stars. This place is a little pricey, but if I bring my nine-year-old, 12 and under are free, it balances out. I am allergic to cats, but because I am a saint, I took allergy medicine and brought my daughter. I love cats, but had I am a saint, I took allergy medicine and brought my daughter. I love cats, but had to wash my hands after petting them.

Even with that, I was sneezing, but able to hold off the whole hour. Your admission covers an hour of playing with cats. There are so many toys to play with the cats with. Lots of obstacles, stands for them to climb over. You also get a free coffee, hot cider, or hot chocolate. Plenty of places to sit. Despite my allergies, I enjoyed myself and my daughter keeps begging to go back. End of review. I'm like actually getting sad because I don't know that we'll ever be able to go somewhere

like that again. Don't say ever again. Well, because all the rules are changing. Don't say again because we've never been to one. All the laws are changing and now, like, if people are going in there and willingly sneezing everywhere, like, that's just not a good... Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? If you bring it up,

if you've mentioned it that way, I didn't even think of that. And, like, you're petting a cat. I mean, I guess maybe we can use that other chick's idea of thick gloves to pet the cats. There you go, yeah. Like, as if this were, like,

a hawk or something. But... Once there's a vaccine, it'll be okay. My next one is of Cat Cafe in Budapest. Budapest, whatever it is. This is a five-star review titled Allergic for Cats. Even for a guy like me who is allergic to cats, is this a nice experience? I think they meant this is. Nope.

I have not seen a cleaner cafe in Budapest yet. The staff handles strict hygienic rules. They disinfect their hands after each physical contact with the cats. On every table, therefore, stand disinfectant hand gel. I did not have any sign of an allergic reaction. Because there was only one waitress, service a little longer prices are okay please follow the house rules while handling the cats have fun and i take it back this might be the only covid friendly cat cafe in the world let's go to budapest okay one uh another one not one more. I have three more. Wow. This one is of Casual Cat Cafe in Richland Hills, Texas.

This is a five-star review by Esther. Okay. So I have a slight allergy to cats, but I love them so much. This is perfect for me. I get to have. Oh no. Sorry. That was bad.

We almost made it. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I regret it. I regret it. I get to hang out with very clean, very sweet, and friendly kitties.

And if my throat and eyes start to get a little scratchy, I can easily exit. The cat room was very cute, with lots of kitty hangout spots. My favorite was a huge pink beanbag. What I love is that as soon as I sat down, cats were crawling onto my lap. As soon as I parked onto that beanbag chair, a cat came up to nap next to me. Kitty purrs are very therapeutic. They have snacks and cold drinks available for purchase. I was told they're attempting to get a food truck to come by for those who come expecting food, since it is called a cafe. End of review.

I know, it sounds so nice on the pink bean bag we've had plenty of offers via we have like people have tweeted at us and stuff and said hey come if you're ever in this area um i'll take you to a cat cafe i want to go to there hopefully soon we'll get there this is a five-star review of Crumbs and Whiskers in LA. Yeah, that's where Em took Eva. Oh. And I didn't go. Whoops. Big mistake. And that was my fault, so I can't even blame anybody else. Well, let's hear how Jessica did there. Jessica says, in San Francisco, which made it even merrier. I had to use the restroom right when I arrived and found a couple kittens in the restroom itself, but hey, that was a pleasant surprise. The cats all have distinct personalities so you can easily spend an hour just meeting them all.

The cats wear color-coded collars so you can tell their gender, unless they manage to get their collar off. You can order some drinks before and after you get in, and near the end of your visit, they take a Polaroid picture of you, and you may take home some stickers that are by the door. End of review. Oh, sinner. How amazing does that sound? I know, I know.

I just want to go to that. I know, me too. I hope they're all doing okay now that this is happening. That's why I said earlier, support your local small businesses any way you can. If you can. Well, I meant the cats, but yeah, also the businesses. I'm sure the cats are taken care of. I'm sure they take care of them. I think a lot of them come

from shelters and are up for adoption. Yeah, up for adoption. Yeah, exactly. That's why I can't go to those, because I will adopt most of them. That's true. I probably would want to. Most of them. Yeah. Especially the one that bit that lady. Yes, I would want that one right away. I want that cat. I probably would want to. Most of them. Yeah. Especially the one that bit that lady. I want that cat! I have one more review.

And it's a little different, so I saved it for last. It's different for a couple reasons. So this is the place I want to go to because it involves my favorite animal. This is a review of the Hedgehog Cafe in Tokyo, Japan.

And it's exactly what you think. Oh my god. It is a cat cafe, but with hedgehogs. But is this bad? I don't know. See, I think there may be some... There are some legal things about owning hedgehogs in the United States. Yeah.

I'm not sure what the laws are in Japan. Because they're exotic animals. Or if... Not pets. That's why I was kind of iffy about saying it. Because ethically, I don't know how it works with hedgehogs or in Japan. But I'm going to hold off any judgment because I don't know. And just read this review.

Oh, well, I just Googled it, but that's OK. Go ahead. This is a four star review of the Hedgehog Cafe in Tokyo, Japan. This was an interesting experience with drinks included vending machine coffee but it was actually quite good only thing is our daughter has a severe nut allergy although you wear gloves her hedgehog climbed up her arm and immediately she started to break out in a rash on her skin their bedding is made of crushed walnuts there were no signs posted so beware end of review i would never have thought of a nut allergy yes

exactly and that's dangerous what's fascinating yes it is and what's interesting is they left it as a four-star review oh instead of instead of like a one-star review and being like really well i mean but listen to this i'm not done yet so hold your tongue it's hard i know the business responded oh okay and this is what the business had said thank you for coming we are sorry to read about your daughter's allergy reaction in order to give a better service every day we will add a warning about this risk best regards look at that that's beautiful and a response well that's so yeah and literally the next day february 3rd is when the review is written. February 4th, they responded. That's so comforting. Yeah.

And also like, also a liability for the business. Oh, yeah. No. Because if someone dies of a nut allergy and they're like, we didn't. And in their minds, they probably didn't think of it, which is probably bad that they didn't think of it. But at least now they're aware and they fixed it. Yes. I like that.

We don't get those too often. I bet the daughter was like, but mom, I'm like covered in hives. Why are you still giving them four stars? Because your father and I had so much fun no but i did look it up and it looks like vice has already beat us to the punch interesting of course they've already done an expose um and it's really uh not necessarily good for them and causes high stress on animals i don't mean cat cafes i mean like um this hedgehog cafe and apparently there are some other animal cafes in in japan that are um questionable questionable ethically and um you know for the animals and their well-being um but i just want

to point that out before no i'm glad you said something i should i honestly should have looked it up i do love hedgehogs but but I wouldn't own a hedgehog. That wasn't about. That was still really interesting. And I would not go to a hedgehog cafe. No, and it hurts me because, wow, those are cute animals. So we're tigers, and we learned from Joe, good old Joe Exotic, that maybe not the best idea to pet them.

Nope. I'm with you there. Maybe. Oh, my God. Uh-oh. Who was that first lady again? The really angry one? With the swollen up sinuses. Maybe Elle accidentally went to Joe Exotic's park and was like, these cats, they just keep scratching me. They're so angry.

No. I don't know. You're saying they thought that they were at a cat cafe, but it was actually Joe Exotic's. That makes a lot of sense christian thank you no it does shut up it does it's very logical i'm not being mean save tonight stop light the break of the dawn tomorrow comes to take me away i wish that i that i could stay oh my god i do i will say the one song on the list that like i truly hate when they play at a store is closing time closing time because i buy semi-sonic because that song when it was like really popular they played it so freaking often and it annoys the crap out of me and then they play it on the office and now they play it all the time.

And like these easy listening playlists and oh, that song drives me. And, uh, well, actually I still love the song, but there's a place off ocean Avenue. Yellow card.

I love that song. No, I do too. But that played so often. Yeah. That office, that whole office thing. And then like Stanley knows all the words.

Cause it's like his favorite part of the day is going home oh yeah yeah and like everyone's mad that andy like makes everyone listen to it staying up all night if i could find you now things would get better guys why are you still here i need to go probably because you need to get your theme and challenge for next to hear what those are. Damn it. Okay. Let's give her some time to find hers. She's been too busy singing 90s hits.

It is a 90s theme special. Okay. I was looking for a theme and then I just came up with one arbitrarily on my own. That's always a good sign. Yeah. So we might need to go back to the inbox uh no so my theme i figure we're coming up on memorial day depending on when this comes out and um since nobody can actually like leave and do stuff or actually can but probably shouldn't um i think we should take a dive into water parks. Yo, let's do it. And I don't know.

Probably no diving. I feel like water parks, there shouldn't be much diving going on. Well, there shouldn't be anything going on, I guess. Well, right now, you're right. And so I want to do water parks, but I don't know if we should limit it to a country or location like US maybe. No, I think it would be fun to do similar to how we did Disney, where we just did any Disney parks we could find. What is water parks? The title would be Reviews of Water Parks.

I mean, it's like coming into the summer. People are going to feel really sad about this episode. That dirty water? Yeah, we'll be reading one-star reviews, so maybe they'll be glad they're out there. That's exactly what I was planning, but not really. But now I'm going to say that I was. Exactly what I was planning, but not really. But now I'm going to say that I was.

Is that now that we're going to read these negative reviews, you're going to be like, you know what? Actually, it's not so bad inside my house. There you go. Anyway, your turn. Well, here, this challenge is weirdly relevant. Okay. And it was sent in by Alexandria.

It's a challenge to find a positive review of a theme park where the person mentions that they don't even like the theme. So I don't even like water. Why am I at this water park? For example, that is weirdly like exactly the, it was, yeah, I know. It was unrelated. Like that was something that I'd picked before you even said your theme. The example she gave was someone who goes to Disney, gives it a great review but says i hate everything disney oh but it's a positive yes it has to be positive so we're gonna have positive reviews which is nice thank god i don't think i'm imagining like that um jurassic park ride at universal and someone's like i really hate jurassic park so it doesn't have to be the theme

of the entire park i don't think so yeah okay i mean i'll figure it out it'll it'll be someone who's like really down onto something or like the wizarding wizard wizarding world of harry potter they hate and like they rant about harry potter and yet have think it was great yes well i think you just gave me plenty of good options i'm just yeah throwing them out there i'm excited for this one lego land who's like stop giving up sorry i'm just like excited for this i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm done i want to be surprising to people okay thanks everyone you always are don't even worry about that alright

thanks everyone we'll talk to you soon come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone save tonight I'm done bye I'm freaking done hey don't cry darling don't cry I'm out.