Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 85: Garbage Plates in Rochester, NY

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

Think people can't possibly be snobs about something called a 'garbage plate?' Think again, then update your Rolodex. Also, fair warning to people who don't like rats, we talk about them A LOT this episode. Because you know what they say, 'Wheres there hole, rats will find it.' And in our field of dreams, there are plenty of holes for Remy. Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Follow Alex on Twitch for Jackbox Games and more! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to episode 85 of Beach 2 Sandy Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Alex. I'm Christine and we are officially geriatric. Welcome to episode 85. Yeah, 84. Not quite. Not quite. We were still in our prime. We were in the dust. I think we reached our prime long ago, but whatever you say. I think we missed our prime long ago. Yes, that might be it. Okay. 15 away from episode 100. Well, are we gonna do that's what i was about to ask you okay cool we'll come up with something we'll figure it out um today's episode is uh garbage plates in rochester new york and that was sent in by aaron so thank you aaron for the suggestion um people seem to be excited about this one yeah and uh do you want to explain

what a garbage plate is for those who don't know if they're just tuning in yes um i'm gonna read just what the wikipedia page tells me perfect a garbage plate according to a 2010 archive starts with a base of any combination of home fries macaroni salad baked beans or french fries topped by your choice of meats and dressed to your liking with spicy mustard chopped onions and signature hot sauce each plate comes with two thick slices of italian bread and butter so that seems to be the og at least a plate of garbage yes a literal plate of hot garbage um and i mean listen i'm not hating there's grosser things that i've eaten in this world than that. She's not wrong. She has. I'm really not lying.

So thank you for that suggestion. It seems to be quite a unique local delicacy that you people have found over there in Rochester. Yes. And then your challenge from Jimmy Mac was to find reviews of college dining halls where it was the parent that reviews the dining hall rather than the student. Not a shock that that happened a lot. Okay, I was going to say, I wasn't sure how easy that would be. Ooh, that was a gross one, I got to say. A lot of food issues in today's episode.

Oh, I just wanted to add one thing. I don't know if you saw this, Andy. We got an email from Craig, and craig wrote a nice note he said he enjoyed the episode of italian uh tourist sites or historic sites and said that the ancient graffiti reminded him of this gem and he included a link and he said the romans really were ahead of their time so this is an article in the smithsonian magazine let me open this up it says this ancient roman souvenir stylus is inscribed with a corny joke have you heard about this no okay there are these ancient styluses um that they found during excavations and this has this one has an inscription on it and i'm gonna try it's loosely translated the message reads

i went to rome and all i got you was this stylus that's hilarious i know and so then they have the actual translation or like the closest they can come up with so per this is according to smithsonian magazine per a more accurate translation by classicist and epigrapher is that how you pronounce that don't look at me i don't even know what that is i have a feeling it's not a pig refer let me say both ways just in case a pig reefer epigrapher roger tomlin the inscription actually reads i have come from the city i bring you a welcome gift with a sharp point that you may remember me i ask if fortune allowed that i might be able to give as generously as the way is long and as my purse is empty in other words the gift is cheap but it is all the giver can or wants to buy on such a slim budget

how big is this stylus what it's actually one of those uh novelty pencils that's like 40 feet long no it's uh it's it has four sides okay so it's like you turn each side and it has like a little inscription on it wow yeah that's a long you're right that's a long um a long inscription inscription epigraphy epigraphy i don't know what that means but yeah well that's funny thank you craig i didn't see that i thought that was very goofy and funny and fit into the theme um and on that note can I just make a little statement real quick I guess that's kind of why we're here that's what that's what we're using our platform for our personal statements go so I just wanted to point out real quick or at least let you guys know that we get a ton of

emails um a lot of them are really touching and kind and supportive. We also get a few critiques and I just wanted to point out that we don't really respond to them anymore because there are so many that we just don't get the time to get to each single one, but we do read them and we do take them to heart. So if you wrote in a nice message or a critique or something, please rest assured that we do read it. We do discuss it. We take it into consideration. Um, and we care what you guys have to say, but if you don't hear from us, it's just because we are, uh, overwhelmed with the rest of our lives, uh, and work and it's not personal and we really appreciate when you write in. So I just want to say that you're being critical. We do. Yes. Those are ones that we do take to heart because we always have room to learn and grow.

Yes. Like with our show and our personal self. So even though we're pretty, pretty much perfect, we do understand that maybe sometimes we're not. Yes. No. So I know I know it's just hard because sometimes I'll get really guilty because I'll see all these emails and some of them are just like so kind and gracious but like it's just

impossible to respond to all of them so i just want to put that out there that we see you and we hear you and we're listening and we love you we do and i love that statement so thank you thank you i put it on a stylus for you if you don't know okay who wants to go first here i think you should go first okay great so i of course went to this place that seems to be the originator of the garbage plate at least according to most people and it's called nick tahu hot that's right right did you look up how to say it no because i did and i couldn't find it well i was gonna look it up and i forgot oh is it like nick tahoe or something i don't know what is this song oh i found a song about it oh great nick tahoe according to this song called

rochester hots parentheses i want some nick tahoe hots okay that makes a lot of parental advisory explicit lyrics oh gosh oh no yep are you sure that's not a weird al song a weird al song i'm pretty sure based on uh the music video yep okay anyway sorry this is by this is about nick tahoe hots which is um thank god you looked that up which is home of the garbage plate quote quote unquote. This is a one-star review by Chris. Since Buffalo is the true inventors of the garbage plate, period. For a secondary wannabe market, this is not even top 20 in garbage plates in Rochester. Hot sauce tastes like sawdust, too thin.

Burgers are small with a baked flavor, potatoes mushy. Charlie's and Webster or canadega is the place to get a real rock plate this place is a fraud i do not recommend putting your entire life at risk just to be disappointed end of review you know i was i was thinking that got dramatic then i realized based on what's on these garbage plates yeah you are putting your life at risk every time you eat one of these okay that's that's fair because I was like, wait, that escalated so suddenly and alarmingly. It actually did. It actually did.

That was something. But what, does Buffalo want everything? They got their wings. Buffalo, calm down. Let Rochester have nothing. You have buffaloes for God's sake. No one wants to go to Rochesterchester except for garbage plates so let them have their garbage plates um can i just say something real quick i went into the email

and i think this is like a kind of a junk email but we got something called podcast guest and i saw that body of the email literally says would you like to be a guest on my podcast show period i wouldn't really feel blessed with your presence yep i saw that it was actually tempting they didn't include what their podcast is called or anything they didn't even get sign their name it just says i wouldn't feel blessed with your presence which i was like actually at least you're honest they're like negging us and it's kind of working i know now i want to be on the podcast okay sorry that was besides the point i I just know that Marcella sent a list of pronunciations for me, and I need to open it real quick.

And you still didn't know how to pronounce Nick Tahoe's? Well, that wasn't in the list of pronunciations. Probably because Marcella's like, it should be obvious, please. It says Canandaigua. Okay, I said it right. Is that what I said? I don't know sure your

turn okay i have a review by sean of nick tahoe hots one star some plates are better than others most leave you with a mixture of gluttonous bliss and carb fueled regret this was just a dry and tasteless experience that robbed me of all such emotion my stomach is full but my soul feels empty rochester can do much much better dog town for life end of review oh my god i just wish i wish i were feeling that deep regret that i love to feel when i eat terrible garbage. Wow. I don't think they know what regret means. I think maybe they do, Zandy.

Oh, okay. Based on all of these reviews, I think maybe we don't know what regret is until we've tried a garbage place. Maybe one day if I, for some weird reason, end up in Rochester, New York. We never know. We've been to smaller places. Not that it's that small, but we've been to smaller places not that it's that small but we've been to smaller places in new york in new york yeah that's right uh i said some the other day i was like oh tim like i tell people you're from upstate new york he's like i am not i am from western new york and that is very different and i was like oh okay whoops um

which i guess is where salamanca is yeah shout out to all our listeners good times but yeah and at the end it said dog town for life um dog town is a competing place that sells garbage plates i see so this is just some uh personal grievance yes so sean sean has a little bit of a you know and a capital a agenda capital a capital g for garbage agenda agenda okay yeah yeah you can you can continue sure okay this is one star a run star review of nick tahoe hots by ruth and i abridged it to just the first paragraph because um this is the most important in my opinion it was my first time at this place I was shocked to see how bad condition the building is in there are holes in wall by the vent dirty and stains on floor you know what they say where's their hole rats will find it did you google that did you see if anyone in history has ever said where's the where's their

hole rats will find it let me google it but i have to put quotations so it doesn't try to autocorrect it'll only come up with that review i guarantee guarantee it. It says reviews in Rochester, New York. Yep. There you go. And then it says it looks like there aren't any great matches for your search. And then it says you can also try these searches. Holes rats dig. Rats that dig holes.

Wear rats. Whoa. What are you listening to this for? Wait. Who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment.

That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Okay, let me try. Just Googling, where rats? You're like scared at home, where rats? You're like, hey Siri, where rats? Okay, I typed in where's their whole rats will find it without quotations.

And it says rat nests. Oh, God. Okay. I don't want to know about this anymore. Do rats have a collapsible skeleton? Okay. I'm getting out of here. What?

Immediately. Okay. But I mean, that review was enough for me. I was like, where's their hole rats will find it. So I don't want to go there. Now we're saying it. You're right. We've just put it.

It's like they trick us every time you know what they say where's their hole rats will find it where's their hole it sounds so weird i don't like it where's their hole that's we'll find it i mean and it's clearly just like a typo like i don't think ruth was doing this like intentionally writing it this way i'm pretty sure it was just a typo but just the way that the s is in the wrong spot just makes it sound so much more sinister somehow i know anyway ruth i don't blame you i would get out of there if i were you no i don't like rats in my no i don't want rat holes anywhere no matter where they are uh good to know i'm glad you thought of all the scenarios

and decided once and for all you don't want rats. I went through the Rolodex and marked no on every single one. I would love to see that Rolodex. Okay. Here's another review of Nick Tahoe Hots by Goddess. One star. I can only eat here if I'm extremely drunk. LOL. Hashtag great memories drunk. LOL, LOL.

Hashtag great memories, though. End of review. LOL, LOL. Can't be that great if you're giving it one star, but... It sounds like maybe your heyday has passed. And you can only eat there if you're extremely drunk. And drunk is capitalized, by the way. Oh, of course it is. So I don't know what that means, but it means that I guess it should be a one-star review

based on that. But great memories? At least they have memories of it. I mean, that's a good point, Zandy. They can't be that drunk if they're remembering all the good times they had. I don't know. I've never blacked out. I've never...

And yet, I've been pretty drunk in my life. Yeah. Yeah. Teens, I know we allowed you back in here, but listen to that. Don't do anything bad. Don't even think about the rat holes. That's what happens when you get too drunk and go to a place that you otherwise wouldn't go to. OK. You know what they say? You know what they say? Where's their hole? Rats will find it. That's the wildest thing is that it literally says it doesn't even just say it's not like Ruth saying, hey, by the way, where's their hole? Rats will find it. That's the wildest thing is that it literally says, it doesn't even just say, it's not like Ruth saying, hey, by the way, where's their hole? Rats will find it. She's like, you know what everybody else in this world says.

Like, it's not just me. You know what that quote is from? It's from my fanfic that combines Field of Dreams and Ratatouille. Oh, God, Sandy. What the fuck? Create some holes and the rats will find them you're just like waiting for them to appear yeah angels in the outfield okay i figured the best place to make them appear was nick tahoe hots in rochester new york and ruth has finally caught on ruth was one of those baseball players in that one movie and she finally figured it out

just appearing in the fields okay geo get out of my closet what are you doing in there okay this is a one-star view of nick tahoe hots i have only those and then one other place um same okay great this was a one-star view by richard contraryrary to popular opinion, I find Nick Tahoe's food to be great. If you are drunk or stoned, it is sad when a city's culinary delights center around a dish called a garbage plate. Unfortunately, I have a much better sense of taste, and I actually value my arteries. End of review. What a snob. I know. Who thinks that, like, oh, I'm review. What a snob. I know.

Who thinks that like, oh, I'm going to be a snob about garbage plates. Like that's the easiest thing you could be a snob about. Find something else. Like pick wine. Talk about no hanging fruit. Right. It's like at least that person who is a snob about Pompeii,

it's like, wow, that's original. That's original to be like snobbish about Pompeii. Right. But in this case, it's like's like come on it's literally called garbage plate they're very self-aware you do not have to tell them that their food is garbage they tell it to you already yeah you're literally paying for it um exactly so i just like i love when he's just so sad for the city and its culinary delights. But fortunately, he has a much better sense of taste. So sorry, Rochester. Richard is not on board.

Well, Richard, I hope you go back to enjoying your... I don't know. What the hell does someone like Richard eat? I want to see their five-year runs. Who knows where he's from? I mean, to be fair, Cincinnati has Skylineline chili which is a fast food chili on spaghetti like it's not like a five-star experience runs us typically not i assume are not a one five-star experience i feel like i guess unless you're in maine where you eat lobster which is a five-star

experience that's probably the only place in america where it's like actual luxury dining if you're eating lobster a lobster or something. That I guess makes sense. But. Oh my God. Go back to Maine, Richard. Go back to Maine. All right.

Here's another of Nick Tahoe Hots by Sharon. One star. The hot dogs are awesome. However, the last two times I went, I asked for no onions. Only to get home and find raw onions on my hot dog. I think they need to screen employees. Active using drug users don't make for good business. Dining area could definitely use an update and a review.

Oh my. I don't know. Where did that come from? Like literally because they have onions, they put onions in your, in your dog. not there onions they put onions in your in your dog except nobody else could possibly make that mistake unless they were actually high on drugs it's like how could that even happen at a restaurant i don't know they put the wrong ingredient on it's impossible they need to screen employees

it's just so stupid like this person is like now now at the top of nick tahoe hots they're like you know maybe maybe maybe sharon's right we've really got to like overhaul our entire system for how we hire these employees at a place we had another onion incident folks we gotta call the authorities and we've already established that this location is basically meant for people who are either drunk or high. Right. That's a good point. So why not the employees too? Come on.

Go easy on them, Sharon. They got to get through this experience too. And it's probably worse for them. True. I just love that Sharon calls and is like, the onions, the onions. And the manager's like, all right, everyone pee in a cup. We got to figure out who did this. This is the last straw.

Okay, I have an email here from Marcella who gave me the pronunciation guide and was also super helpful, described it as the Skyline Chili of Western New York. Makes a lot of sense. And she sent in a review of Nick Tahoe Hots that I'm going to read to you. It's by Dirk, one star.

Before you judge me, I have to say that I don't drink. I know a lot of people like to eat here after a night at the club or after a day of partying. To that, I do agree that to enjoy this food, you really have to be hammered. I went in with an open mind and the fact that they took the time to cook my food, I really did appreciate. There was a family eating there when I went in, and they let their 10-year-old daughter go to the bathroom by herself. I'm not even going to go there, lol. She quickly ran out, complaining of the smell and the things on the floor. I should have left right then, but my food was ready.

OMG! Warm mayonnaise on the mac salad. Fail! Fish fried so hard I could use it as a doorstop. OMG! Warm mayonnaise on the mac salad. Fail! Fish fried so hard I could use it as a doorstop. Fail! And cold fries. No! How can you serve me warm mayo and cold fries? That doesn't seem backwards to you? Well, despite the obvious, most of you will continue to play Russian roulette with your intestinal systems. I left most of the food on my plate then i did what the signs all proclaimed i made it a garbage plate end of review boo boo oh my god um there was all sorts of boo in there what randomly watching a 10 year old go to the bathroom and commenting on it on your review later i'm not gonna go there lol it's like well you just did literally literally just did oh that was too tmi i love that she runs

out screaming yeah that's the highlight of the review for sure that's the only positive thing even though uh they meant it as a negative but um i approved of that people are so judgy of the the this is a place known for creating a dish called a garbage plate come on and people going there with their intestines bringing up other people's intestines this person went there too many times leave my intestines out of it also you're the one going while you're sober so like if anyone's playing roulette with your intestines it's you uh fully sober everyone else has an excuse yeah um i also just needed to include one pun about garbage plates so yeah i didn't see any of those so this is the only one i guess i'm glad you found one you're welcome all right i'm into uh a couple of emails. This first one, this was sent in by Caitlin and she had this to say, I literally screamed alone in my apartment when I heard you were doing reviews of garbage plates in Rochester, New York, my city. I died and went to heaven. and at first was very put off by garbage plates until i learned their delicious fatty allure if you're ever in the area try one some places even have veggie slash vegan options i would love

to try a vegan garbage plate i that would that's what she said no that's what i'm saying oh well we know that out of center uh this is a review of dog town and there's a little note from caitlin she said it's known for a unique hot dog menu but it also makes killer plates and it's a little note from Caitlin. She said, it's known for a unique hot dog menu, but it also makes killer plates and it's her personal favorite. Okay, what is it? Dogtown is the name of the place. This is a one-star review of Dogtown.

Got home, opened the container, and you guys left the receipt on top of my food? I have to pick it out? Covered in mustard? All the BHT carcinogen all soaked into my food? Google it, old news. You guys totally suck. I trusted you! Never again. If you don't want to be singled out for a casual poisoning, I would suggest you never eat there. I never will again, and I'm bummed, because the place was fun, and I liked the things they had there, but since brainless and heartless jerks work there, maybe not. The floor was dirty with things I had to

take a second closer look at, because you know what those little clumps of what was apparently just dirt looked like at a quick glance they needed to sweep dining room was empty that should have been my first clue end of review oh my goodness i would like to make a quick note that receipts are known for having um not nasty things yeah but like so are hot dogs by the way okay that is true as well so are garbage plays but to like literally accuse them of like trying to poison them like this whole fucking like okay i get it yes you probably you don't want to put a receipt next to your food or on your it's gross i i get that okay gross sure mean, A, it's probably in styrofoam already. It's a literal hot dog.

So don't even Google what's in that if you're really concerned about carcinogens. Also, singled out for a poisoning. Singled out for a poisoning. That's the wildest part. Like she walked in and they were like, oh, we got him. We got one. We got a live one. Be sure to poison them.

And the best way to do that is by placing the receipt in the mustard. Yeah, like that'll get her. And it did, apparently. It actually worked, which is shocking. But I love how it was like, I trusted you. This is something you talk to someone who cheated on you. The way they acted, like, I trusted you, but never again. And then telling other people not to trust trust them calling them heartless jerks like i mean come on can you imagine if like their significant

other got a water bottle out of the hot car and tried to give it to him and she was like you're a poison i i trusted you with my life casual poisoning yeah um that's bananas again like i have no judgment i love a good hot dog i'm just saying if you're gonna be like really up in arms about carcinogens or whatever like there are other issues yeah there are other issues at play here i'm not judging the food i'm just saying uh you know take a little look around you maybe um okay also just the fact that they just like stuck a receipt in the mustard makes me laugh so much because clearly they didn't give a shit like you know i don't blame them just like stick it in there but she took it so personally yeah it was taken way too personally oh my god that's for sure i wouldn't yeah whatever all right um i have only one more this is a review of steve t hots in

rochester which is the other one that um was apparently the big big competitor this is a one-star review by joanne what the fuck i am pregnant and i spent 55 for four weeks of dog food what the fuck this is the worst place i've been to my dog barks at the damn food i'm going End of review. Oh, wait. Okay. They're going to Chuck E. Cheese. Chuck E. Cheese. I was like, wait, they just changed their mind.

I mean, that's the lowest of the low insult. If you tell a place, hey, Chuck E. Cheese has better food than you, that hits hard. I like to think that this one actually hurt the manager. Like, ouch. None of these others really got to me, but Chuck E. Cheese, really? And you're actually going there tomorrow to enjoy the food? Talk about a place where all the employees are on drugs chuckie cheese there's a lot of drama around listen people send me a lot of

articles about true crime at chuckie cheese and it's alarming how much there really is um so yeah i think um joanne spent 55 for four weeks of dog food i yeah i i didn't get that i thought at first i was like maybe they made a mistake and they're reviewing the wrong place oh no they just are calling their dog food yeah i don't know dog barked at it so that means bad the dog barked at the damn food i guess not even good enough for the dog you probably shouldn't be feeding your dog that anyway. So yeah, I agree. A garbage plate. I'm going to tell everybody, don't eat there. It's dog food. So, okay. I mean, I don't know how you spend $55 on four weeks of garbage plates, but maybe she

had a craving. She's pregnant. But like 50, that doesn't seem, like, I don't know how much they are, but like, first of all, why are you going back? I don't, yeah, wait wait you're going back every week or every other day maybe they had like a hello fresh service where they like ship you a big uh box of uh imagine dry ice with a bunch of garbage plates on it they just put it in the freezer then thawed them out and ate them all at the same time we're like wait a second this is gross dog started

barking at it she's like you're right rufus i'm going to chuck your cheese instead i'm bringing you too all right uh this is my uh last one and it was it's a sort of a redemption sent in by jenny uh she her and this is what jenny says um i just listened to today's episode and heard that your theme for next week is garbage plates in Rochester. Sitting by myself in the office, I got a little bit too excited. Nick Tahoe's is the home of the OG garbage plate and the only one that can legally use the term. Oh, really? Yeah, I actually would Google, like Google mapped garbage plates and only Nick Tahoe's would show up.

That's interesting. My personal favorite, possibly because it is where I had my first plate, is Fairport Hot's. Before they repainted, your eating experience was completed by staring at this beautiful picture of a very high hot dog. Since I had to grow up looking at it, you now have to see it too. I'm sending this to you right now. Okay, great.

I'm ready. Oh, it's worse than I imagined how beautiful is that it's like twerking or something okay i don't know about what you're seeing well it's like gyrating weird very long goatee or something made of ketchup and mustard i don't really know yeah and like half closed eye lidded eyelids literally a high hot dog. Wow. That's new to me. That's new information to me in my brain. Yeah. So yeah, we can post that on Instagram too if everyone wants to see.

At this rate, we're just pointing like posting the most. If people aren't caught up to the episodes, they're probably like this podcast has gone off the damn rails. Let me unfollow this Instagram until i catch up and i'll blame you just mute us yeah seriously all right here we go but then at the end another good place is dog town their decor is a tad more pleasant with pictures of customers dogs all over the walls i will leave you with this review of dog town which is i suppose a redemption so here is the redemption okay of dog town it's a three-star review we've all been through this your project has not been going as well as you want to your manager was not impressed and you got worried about getting the sack you complained on the phone

with your partner and you consequently had a big fight, bringing back many old fights that you've had in the past. I have been there. Not that I have a job or partner. I've felt this low. And then I go to Dogtown. Not that happy people don't belong here. It is one easy way to cheer me up. What is a garbage plate? Takes a lot of effort to explain to your friend who's just visiting. But take them to Dogtown instead. I have no beef in this. Where has the best garbage plate fight? I just like Dogtown better. So what indeed is a garbage plate?

It is all the things that give you guilty pleasure. Hot dogs, burgers, fried potatoes, all in one plate. Or whatever combination you want. Two hot dogs, three, no burger, vegan dog, whatever, topped with gravy and other sauces. Is it healthy? Questionable. Do I regret it?

Sometimes. But I kept coming back, and I still bring all my friends who visit here. End of review. It's that regret. That's really what they live for, I think. That's like a prime ingredient, a main ingredient, I think, of these garbage plates is just a heaping helpful of regret. It's truly all about the regret.

But for some reason, many people, I guess, see that as a positive. Like the one one-star review that I had, one of them was about how they were sad they didn't feel that regret. And this somewhat positive review is about how they were sad they didn't feel that regret and this somewhat positive review is about how they do feel regret yeah because they're saying it's part of the experience yeah which you know what

it sounds very sad and that's why it's a redemption question mark question mark wowza okay well that was sad um your turn i guess my turn uh well we will let you all know if we ever end up in rochester we still haven't tried the runs as so we're behind um yeah behind our mission but we'll get there someday when this pandemic kind of softens itself a little bit

um okay this is my challenge it was from jimmy mac and it is to find a review of a college dining hall written by a parent rather than a student so surprisingly most of these were positive what i know and i think this is my theory my conspiracy theory is that a lot of times i've read that when parents weekend comes around the cafeteria suddenly up their game and serve like really good food for the one weekend that parents are there which i mean i've definitely experienced that myself so uh the parents are like wow what a lovely beef stroganoff they served on saturday and the students are like they only serve like cauliflower most days of the week so

what kind of cafeteria did you go to sorry a really weird one um this is a review of the gastronome at cal state fullerton it's a one-star review by jackie is that spelled uh gastro hyphen g-n-o-m-e i hope yeah he's the chef he's the he walks around in his little hat no unfortunately it is not um gastronome with an n-o-m-e one star by jackie i'm very disappointed and mad my daughter is really sick from a bad stomach virus thanks to the food that is being served here and by the way she's not the only one many more college students got sick from this cafeteria as well end of review ouch a bad stomach virus i also like that it says i'm very disappointed and mad because usually it's like i'm not mad i'm just disappointed but like jackie is both

this is the ultimate mom the ultimate mom mega mom that is the one thing you never want mega mom to say i'm disappointed and mad so you don't get to escape either one um i i'm picturing the daughter like making this okay i'm totally this is something that i would do this is our own making up some sort of thing be like yeah mom the cafeteria food made me really sick like she's hung over struggling right like we all agree she's hung over and she's throwing up i can't drive home this weekend my stomach oh and oh yeah yeah my roommates have it everyone has it yeah everybody has it we all agree and then the cauliflower was bad this week just happens to have that mom that's like goes goes on to the internet and tries to fight and she's like oh

shit i didn't mean for this to happen um yeah so that's kind of what on to the internet and tries to fight and she's like oh shit i didn't mean for this to happen um yeah so that's kind of what i was thinking as well like what kind of mom like hears that their daughter's sick and then goes on to yelp to handle it like it just seems so unnecessary yeah well and we are really good at jumping to conclusions on this show oh yes we absolutely just made that whole scenario up of course but um we don't deny that but it's more fun that way okay this is a review of sjsu dining commons which is san jose state yeah university it's a one-star view by terry my son goes to sjsu and he hates the food too much grease he's breaking out on his face that's proof there's too

much grease end of review oh my god this is like the ultimate helicopter parents when your kid goes off to college and they're like how many zits do you have today let me count them that's the exact kind of thing mom would say correct about me like coming home after college and then yeah and then i would say yeah they don't serve great food there i just get what i can like i can tell from your skin which is bullshit because they always had decent options i just never took them i know i'm like oh my dining dollars count towards rockstar sure i'm gonna get that maybe a couple cokes and just yeah twizzlers oh yeah all of the above um mom always like insists she can understand everything about us by our skin which is always fascinating to me because like it's it's usually an easy guess like you've been

drinking too much wine well yeah like i could have told you that you don't need to look at my skin um but yeah i love when too much grease there's too much it's proof can you imagine going like these are the people that call the principal and then then the college is like, we don't have a principal. That's not how this works. These are adults. I want to speak to whoever runs the cafeteria thing. It's like, well, it's a student run two part thing. I don't know, like, I don't think we want to, like, put you through to them. It's like an outside catering service.

Like, please leave them alone. Yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. All right. Now I have a couple that are actually redemptions because those were like the only real negative ones that I found. I think we can always use a little bit of uplifting news here. Yeah. So the first one I found was of TDR, which otherwise known as Teads, which was the terrace dining room at American University.

And listen, it wasn't the best uh but so aaron wrote a five-star review and i will say this is definitely like a facetious uh sarcastic five-star review so sorry in advance tdr is hands down the best place to get a meal in dc maybe even on the entire East Coast. From the wonderful salads just made of spinach and Thousand Island dressing, to the absolutely fantastic cupcakes that unnaturally keep their shape, dining at TDR is one of the best experiences of your life. The 50-50 chance of food poisoning is really a fantastic way to start my day and keeps me on my toes. Another thing I enjoy about TDR is the decor. I like the pictures of plants on the support End of review. Excuse me?

Did you write this review? I did not, but I agree with it wholeheartedly. I just realized that was not written by a parent. I don't know why I picked this one. I think I just saw that it was my school and was like, oh, that's funny. And also like so on brand, but the next couple are from parents. What the heck kind of cafeteria was this? I'm telling you, it was like a shit show.

Why was there pornography? Well, I'm sure that it happened when someone put the wrong channel. Oh, no, pictures of plants. Okay. Not even real plants. Yeah. sure that it happened when someone put the wrong channel oh no pictures of plants okay not even real plants um yeah yeah so there's that well just like okay well thank you thank you i don't think i ever saw it when i went to visit you yeah i don't think so either because you couldn't that's the worst part is you have to like pay to go in like if you're not if you don't have like a meal plan it's really stupid um this is a review of a place that i clearly

didn't write the name of um so i apologize just use your imagination everyone yeah pretend it's yours the one you went to the one you did too yes this is a five-story view by mike i'm a parent of a student we came to move my son into the dorms and ate in the dining commons wow dining commons are much better than when i went to college i couldn't believe the selection everything was outstanding the fruit was super fresh too the grapes were still attached to their vines which were extremely green as opposed to being dark brown dried out and shriveled like some grape vines it looks like maybe they were even picked earlier that morning the desserts were amazing too end of review okay this guy knows his grapes he's like have i told you about my winery what in the world yeah uh i just like i want to let mike know i'm sorry to burst your bubble

those grapes were not picked that morning i can assure you i don't even remember which school this was and in which which state unless this is like an agricultural college or something or like napa valley college of wine uh this is they were not picked this morning i assure you but i'm glad that they were enjoyable i don't know maybe the community garden it's literally just grapes like that's the only thing that they have in their like school garden so like the community vineyard yeah sorry the community vineyard um and i mean i went to university of redlands there was this giant like orange orchard yeah that's true on campus maybe they were picked that morning maybe i'm just being too judgmental but it's like literally just the grapes like everything else it's like you know not as fresh but the grapes at least

picked that morning i just love that he like explained this is like how dad explains things like they were really green you're like oh okay and he's like no no like they were really green like they weren't brown oh okay i got it well they weren't dried out they were they weren't shriveled okay i get it it's not enough just to say that they were green or great or fresh you can't just use one word you have to use the word use more words you just and then use more words gotta make sure the other person understands you so thoroughly that they'll never forget this is my actual last one sorry about that this is um a review sent in by amanda who went to appalachian state university and she checked her campus's dining hall and all

she found was a really sweet redemption for us so here is a review of what looks like the ross or roast dining hall by lady j five stars i visited the dining hall on an official college visit for my son, who is now a mountaineer. Heart eyes emoji. Also, official college visit was capital O-C-V. On an official college visit for my son, who is now a mountaineer. Heart eyes. I will have to say that I was very impressed that they had a vegan bar that has a great black bean burger. It was so good. First time I tried corn nuggets, which was sweet corn made like a chicken nugget.

Very impressed. They had eggplant parmesan, which was tasty. Wasn't concerned with prices. Food was amazing. End of review. I love how they throw in, I can't speak to the prices, but the food was great yeah i'm not concerned about that doesn't matter good to know when i'm in wherever appalachian state university is where is it i don't think you're allowed in there i don't think you're allowed unless you are a certified mountaineer i don't think you're allowed into their cafeteria because that would be really weird can lady j let me in somehow lady j might still be there lady jay let me in somehow lady jay might still be there lady jay can adopt me love that eggplant parm so it could possibly be gosh no that was so cute though i love the hard eyes

emoji i know so proud of her son makes me happy um anyway so that's all i got for you today that was good it's a smooth episode i would say so far so far I jinxed it probably. Alrighty. So let's get our theme and challenge for next week. My theme, not the city, but the theme itself comes from Susie, who suggested rock climbing gyms. And I decided to do Colorado Springs, Colorado. Yes. Because I thought Colorado, because they have a lot of climbing so probably lots of climbers who need gym time too so sporty i think this will be fun because it's like usually they're such chill places yeah that i bet the negative reviews are like just for some reason people just going crazy i'm excited let's hope let's hope well i have a challenge for you this

was sent in by josie and the subject says challenge and then it has a an ape it looks like and an elephant and it says shanti times two now because of uh gibbon and elephant that are our shanties shanti schieffer josie says hi friends i am someone who has had to apologize to multiple establishments for the behavior of my mom quote sorry she wrote $500 tip. She meant $5. Sorry she tried to order in Spanish when all the servers speak English. Sorry she had one drink and made fun of all the people walking by the restaurant loudly and their family members happened to be at another table.

Embarrassing. So my challenge is to find a review where the reviewer genuinely apologizes for the behavior of who they were with at the place being reviewed. See you in seattle in october christine hopefully hopefully let's hope hopefully yeah love josie crossed it doesn't say love i just added love put it out there into the universe hopefully hopefully it happens christina um no i like that a lot that's interesting because uh and i just watched a video from england i think it was in england oh god and it

was this kid that was being a little shit to these store employees and he went viral on facebook and then uh the his dad made him go and like they filmed like his apology but the dad was like you weren't brought up to talk like that because the kid was like cussing himself you weren't brought up to talk like that you little bastard it was like the dad is so pissed oh my gosh so um he forced his son to go and apologize so i genuinely thought it said uh a review where the reviewer apologized for their behavior at the place that would be a challenge yeah as if anyone's that self-aware to do that but i'll try to look for that too you could probably find both maybe or try for whichever i will i will actually try for that too because i think that could be really funny and i bet people do that like hey i'm sorry i was this way but yeah they were being they started it or you know which i guess isn't genuine but that doesn't seem

very genuine but maybe like some drunken person who's like oh my god i can't well it's like when i i got so drunk on my 21st birthday it was in um budapest and like at this crazy bar and i was with all these people i didn't really know that well we were just doing this study abroad thing yeah and um i puked everywhere in the bathroom and every i felt so bad i cleaned up as much as i could and then like i left like a really massive tip like in the bathroom and a note apologizing and like i felt so fucking guilty because i'm like i know someone has to clean up and like it's nasty and i like did this whole thing because i was just so upset at myself um so yeah i could i didn't write a review but i could see myself or someone like me who does write reviews being so upset at myself um so yeah i could i didn't write a review but i could see myself or someone like

me who does write reviews being so upset at themselves that they like want to make things right by writing a review yikes uh sorry for that gross story but no i tried to make it right i hope i hope that person was okay with my tip and everything i'm sure they were they've seen worse i can guarantee you that. I know. I know. Blaze used to work at a bar. I just still feel guilty about that.

And he was a bouncer, but basically all it meant was he cleaned up the women's bathroom full of puke every night, so don't worry. Mm-hmm. You're not the only one

is what I'm trying to say. There are other college girls who do the same thing. I hope that makes you feel good. That makes me feel great. No shame. All right. Anyway,

thanks everyone for listening. I'm very excited to come back next week. It makes me feel great. No shame. All right. Anyway, thanks everyone for listening. I'm very excited to come back next week. I'm glad. I am as well. I don't know if you're excited. We love you dearly. So thanks and keep writing us because we need friends and attention. Always.

Okay. Bye, everybody. Bye, everyone. I'm out.