Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 10

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

If you're reading this, you are officially banned from LeanCuisine.com. Feeling doo-doo trash about that? Then listen to us read reviews sent in by YOU, our lovely listeners. We hope you love this month's episode, but if you don't we are prepared to pay you 100 plates of calamari. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a livestream Q&A every month.  Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Between You and Us, November edition. Yeah, you can probably tell we both just woke up, so I'm really sorry. That's going to go away quickly, I promise. It's not early, but we're lazy.

So we have a couple reviews each that you guys have sent into us and we are going to read them aloud for your enjoyment so enjoy i've got a first one this is from matthew um and this is okay so we're starting off sad wait no so mat. So Matthew's brother, Andrew, passed away. Oh my God. At 32, a couple of years ago. And Matthew says, to remember him, I often read bad Yelp reviews of his work. A mobile kangaroo in Berkeley. So it's mobile kangaroo.

What is that? His personality always shines through. What is a mobile kangaroo what is that his personality always shines through um what is a mobile kangaroo or am i is it's like am i supposed to give it my own meaning it's like a um it's like an apple authorized repair it's one of those repairs oh i thought it was like an art installation you know what you know that could be too i don't think the review makes much sense okay thinking of it that way but you can try it's like a repair apple repair yeah so it's like a repair a phone repair got it um but there it's a chain so they have there are multiple do we know matthew's brother's

name andrew okay andrew this one's for you this is for andrew here's a two-star review of a mobile kangaroo in berkeley okay so i had actually visited this store a year earlier, in which they fixed my phone in a... with some sort of reset. The store setting was nice, and they didn't charge anything, which are the only reasons saving this place from a one-star. Present day, my iPhone had mysteriously broken down the night before and was not turning on. After hesitating whether to visit the AT&T store or

Mobile Kangaroo, I decided to try this place again. I walk into the store and the setting reminded me of a shady back alley mobile shop having completely changed from a year ago. The new guy sitting behind the counter looked dazed and had a lighter on the counter. After smelling some

weed, I could only assume that he had taken it upon himself to blaze a fat joint. Good job, Sherlock. Very astute reasoning. I asked the guy to take a look at my phone and tell me what was wrong with it. He did some sort of reset again this time, less than a minute, and then charged me 20 bucks. At first I thought he was joking, but the guy seriously wanted $20 for pressing my home and power button together. Something I could have found out on the internet at home. Uh, yeah, but you didn't. That's the exact point. Oh my God. I kid not with people. He then sassed me and said, quote, it's a knowledge economy. What an unprofessional asshole. TLDR version. Used to be a nice, clean place.

Within the last year, it became very shady and questionable employees, willing to scam customers without stating upfront prices. If you choose to utilize their services, definitely get a quote first. And so then, so that's end of review. What in the goddamn world? And then Matthew says, The quote, it's a knowledge economy has now become a family phrase for us and it always makes us laugh.

It's a knowledge economy. So it's from Matt and Finian. Oh my, and what? Finian. Who's that? I don't know. Oh, okay. Matt and Finian.

I'm sorry. And I've been calling you Matthew this whole time, but Matt. Okay. Got it. That's really what an idiot but I love that they're like they're like oh yeah this is uh it's his personality we love reading these because his personality shines through I that's very very sweet I like to think someday when one of us passes we'll just read one star reviews about your potty mouth and stuff

that you're gonna say podcast but yeah or that well maybe both oh lord well thank you matt um also guys use google first before you go anywhere seriously it'll save you a trip and gas and money so your phone presumably pretty expensive phone was fixed for 20 bucks be happy be nice complain otherwise you would have wandered around without a phone for another day. Yeah. Okay. So this is one that we've gotten that you've probably seen already because it's kind of been doing the social media rounds, but it made me laugh so hard that I decided to keep it for Between You and Us.

We've gotten it from a few people on social media, but the only email we've gotten is from Caroline. So thank you, Caroline, from Norway. And Renee also DMed me this. I have a feeling I know what it is already. I think you know. Because I've seen it about 2,000 times. Okay, yeah.

It hasn't gotten old, honestly. It's very funny. So this is a review that's been making the rounds. It's from Yelp. And it blurs out the person's name. And it does not say what the restaurant is, but it's of a restaurant. Okay.

And it was like about a month ago that this review was left. One star. I'm giving one star because of the cheap management and customer service. I heard the food was very good, so I went to try.

Me and the BF got the calamari, spaghetti al vongole. Okay, I should have looked that up. Spaghetti al vongole and gnocchi. Oh my goodness, are you okay? Wow, we really did just wake up. Gnocchi. I just say gnocchi. Okay. Gnocchi. That's how I say it. Spaghetti calamari, gnocchi. That's how I do it. Stop. me and my bf got the calamari don't reread it okay i'm just kidding okay um all were very delicious i was actually so impressed that when the manager came to ask us how everything tasted i told her it was some of the best italian food i've ever had. And

I told her I'm going to post about it on Instagram, where I have over 11,000 followers, and a lot of them are in the area. She seemed very happy about it. I was wrong. I thought that she would be grateful for the free advertising, but when the check came, there was literally no discount at all. I thought at least one of the entrees would be taken off, but they didn't even take off the calamari. Thank God it was the calamari I had to say, not the other two. Take off the calamari or even the drinks. I won't go back here because of this, which is a shame because the food was very good. This manager needs to understand how to treat customers. End of review. Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. You've tried that before, huh? Me? Yeah. I have over 11,000 followers. I'm sure I have. No, I can't even fathom being so entitled. So entitled. Oh, that's disgusting. For 11,000.

I mean, I'm sorry. That's not even that many followers. It is a lot of followers, obviously, but it's not going to make a difference in this restaurant it's not gonna make any difference no and i'm sure the restaurant can find their own influencers yes they'd rather probably pay someone with and like a hundred times that if they really want to go that route they might as well do that a hundred times a plate of calamari a hundred plates of calamari a hundred gnocchi oh that movie makes me so mad it's so it really makes me upset i'm so glad it went viral because i feel like yeah it hopefully knocked a couple people down a few pegs i just what in the world and it's not even like you can tell it's real it's like this person

legitimately thought yeah they would get a free gnocchi i mean that that's just like to walk into a restaurant and all right i mean you know they were already thinking that like that was their plan from the beginning do you know oh my god i wonder if they do that all the time probably they must and then they probably leave those one-star reviews hoping the restaurant responds and say oh please next time have something on us yes why would you want a free i think a lot of people do that they post yelp reviews like that just so that they can get something out of it also also like if you oh my god also if you have 11 000 yelp reviews like a wow that's a lot of yelp reviews i'm sorry i mean follow i was like whoa no that's

impressive only fox has that many um also if you have that many followers like you're doing something with your instagram that's like seems to be like what do you want a free yeah dessert for yeah what is what is what is in it for you i don't understand it's your birthday lie lie that way there's literally so many other ways to get say there was a hair in your food. There. Now you get a free. Don't do that, by the way. Don't.

Nobody do that. If you're this person, it's better to do that than act so entitled. She just said, I have 111,000 followers. Maybe that would have. Oh, yeah. True. At least lie about the followers. Maybe she did. Maybe she only has 2,000.

And she's like, I have 11,000. And was just pissed that it didn't work. She's like, once I get there, because that's when I'll get the free calamari. The free calamari. Yeah. Okay. Thank you to everybody who sent us that. Yes.

We'd list your names, but. But you didn't email them? Yep. Only one email. Actually, someone did email us as a challenge suggestion. And the challenge was basically that exact scenario. To do influencer. Yeah.

To do an influencer like the challenge okay your turn here's one from rachel so rachel says below i have attached two golden reviews from local places in new hampshire versus a coffee shop my brother co-owns called union coffee company in milford new hampshire so here's this one you've got like a brother theme going here. Okay. This is a review. One star review by Hunter of Union Coffee Company. This place doodoo trash and the owner smells like fish. End of review. What the fuck?

There's a response from the owner. Oh, thank God. A month later. So it was like they took some time to think about this. He said, I love eating tuna. Here we go. And you know what? later so it was like they took some time to think about this um said i rachel's brother did love eating tuna here we go at all and you know what i probably smell like fish too because you know that's like all i eat now yeah it's gross hunter if you want to discuss personal odors let's have a separate conversation i'm sure it could be a teachable moment for us. But know this, and know it well,

Union Coffee Company is not, nor ever has been, doo-doo trash. Good day, sir. End of response. I love that. Yeah, I want to go now. How dare you, sir. Doo-doo trash.

I love that. I feel like you should own now on like, make that your new sub-slogan. Yes. Do Do Trash. That's one of those where you see, we've seen a lot of those pictures that people send us of... When they print out?

They, well, yeah, they'll have a t-shirt that has a one-star review on it, or they have a little marquee, I don't know what it's called, like the stand outside that's written on Like an easel thing. Yeah. And they'll have like a one-star review they're like the one that's like this is where susan got the worst coffee of her life in 2012 or something yeah exactly i love this um so the second review is of a bowling alley that um rachel grew up going to called lida lanes l-e-d-D-A, Leda Lanes in Nashua, New Hampshire. And here it is.

This is by Kaylee, one star. They don't even deserve any stars just because I had an 18 year old with me and my friend could not bring out drinks outside the bar. And yet she let everyone else there drink outside the bar, even though there are people under the age. But yet she told me and my friend, no, she plays favorite and it is not right i wish i punched her for how rude she was to me end of review teens calm down chill teens chill it out chill you're gonna have the rest of your life to drink so seriously come on it's not that great you're at a bowling alley new ham well maybe that is a place maybe that is where you drink, yeah. I'm trying to think of a better argument.

Yep, nope. There's no better argument. Nothing better than that. Should have punched her. No, I'm just kidding. No violence. Yeah, obviously the lady didn't let you bring booze out because she knows you're going to just give it to the teens. Yeah.

And then she's going to get sued. So don't do that. Yeah, be nice. Teens. And don't hit people over that. That's not worth it. Don't punch anyone. Believe don't do that. Yeah, be nice. Teens. And don't hit people over that. That's not worth it. Don't punch anyone. Believe it or not, it's not worth it.

Believe it or not. Okay, thank you, Rachel. Thank you, Rachel. Okay, so this is from Sandra. And interestingly enough, it's about a review about sand. About what? Sand. Oh, I thought you said Satan.

Well, interestingly enough,ra is satan no oh um sandra says hey guys i figured i'd pass this gem along to you how could i not send you a review in which someone complained about the quality of the sand um so the facebook that it was posted on so apparently her town has a mysterious lady that runs a meme page about their town. A mysterious lady. I like the sound of that. An anonymous. The lady of the lake. It's like Gossip Girl.

Oh, yeah. But on Facebook and middle-aged. Okay. We're sure of the age. No, but that's how I pictured it, which is why I'm even more interested. She posts memes and such, making fun of the red neckery that happens here parentheses like pigs getting loose and someone posting on a buy sell trade page about the police department not helping her get a dead possum out of the trash can oh no and the dumb

things people in other towns nearby get mad about lady was pissed because she bought her daughter a new car and she couldn't find a large ass bow to put on top of it oh my god google guys once again yeah so this is one of those uh reviews that was posted on this page where this lady goes around finding them this is of emerald isle beach one star i drove over two hours to visit the speech memorial day weekend and cannot recommend it to anyone first of all the traffic was terrible second there were so I can fly it in from the right places. I know. And it was so hot that we all got blistery sunburns. Unbelievably disappointing experience.

Next time we will go to Carolina Beach. End of review. All but one of those were acts of like nature. Like the only one that wasn't was that it was crowded. Like seagulls? Literally. Because she says there were signs about riptides all over the place saved your fucking life i was gonna say well you rather have your three-year-old walk

into the ocean with no signs about probably i mean she can sue someone i guess it is oh my god the name on it is raleigh super mom oh wow um yeah everything else besides traffic is literally oh the traffic and the traffic and the crowds. Oh, and the crowds. Okay, okay. So many seagulls. The sand was not good quality, whatever that means. The sun was too hot, apparently.

But I like... That's also not how that works. Like, it's not so hot that you get a sunburn. It's like you don't put on sunscreen and you get a sunburn. Yikes. Okay. It sounds like it was just very much a learning experience. I don't think they learned anything, but... Well... well it's a potential it was supposed to be a learning

experience let me rephrase it was supposed to be maybe someday thank you sandra thanks sandra um you're good quality sandra you are good call it good quality sand. My next one is from Allie. Allie was hiking with her boyfriend, and they saw a county jail nearby at the back of the trail. What a romantic hike. They were intrigued. So I looked up the name of the jail, and lo and behold, it had a Yelp review. You didn't. Allie did.

Yeah. Okay. So I'm being Allie here. You switched tenses. I understand now. It's early. Okay. So I'm being Allie here. You switched tenses. I understand now. It's early. Okay. So here we go. Alachua.

I'm going to say it that way. Good. Alachua County Jail. A-L-A-C-H-U-A. County Jail. This is a one-star review by Landon. This place is nice in some ways. People are very professional, but can get a bit

handsy. It was well lit and relatively clean. The nurse was very nice. However, the food was absolutely terrible, and the bed was hard. End of review. Oh, does he think it's a hostel? Maybe. Like an Airbnb? Maybe. Ended up there thinking, wow, this is a weird kind of experience. But that's maybe how they do it in Alachua. I get my own nurse. Yeah. Get your own nurse. It's like those haunted, extreme haunted houses.

Have you heard of those? Yes. Extreme haunts? I have. Maybe that's the experience they were going for. It sounded like a much more pleasant experience. Yes, definitely. Even though it is a jail.

Yeah. I'd rather be in jail than do one of those extreme haunts. Absolutely. Couldn't do it. He did say they were a little handsy, but. Yeah, that's true. That's true. And there was a nurse, which I could see happening at one of those extreme haunts. That's right.

Yeah. Wow. That's weird. I don't know what to make of that. What else are you going to do in prison? I guess. Might as well give it a Yelp review. Yelp it up.

Yeah, let people know. And that also discourages people from committing crimes. That's right. I've heard that statistic also. Thank you, Allie. Thank you, Allie. Okay, so this is from Taylor. And interestingly enough, Taylor says says thank you for reading one

of my submissions so i guess we already read one okay uh please stay wonderful we'll try uh she says i am currently a member of this gym and it really sucks but mainly because it's always so crowded i've never experienced anything like this review. This is a review of Anytime Fitness by Stella. One star. Horrible male-dominated place. I could never work out with weights as a 51-year-old woman. They pretend they are against noise, crashing,

heavy weights left on equipment, and male dominance, but they aren't. They charge gym enhancement two times a year, so watch out for for that i think that's like a fee when they're upgrading yeah yeah they charged a gym enhancement and banned me on the same day as a ha ha they say they support military but as a military mom they banned me via my phone voicemail when I got so sick of young men intimidating me. I made a gesture of pushing a barbell with my toe in a, oh, just take it then gesture. Only three toilets men don't flush in, only two bad showers. It cost me $90 to enroll, $45 a month, and $27 gym enhancement fee the day they banned and humiliated me.

Ladies that don't just want to do cardio, beware. They are very sexist and do not support women or military mothers. I hate anytime fitness. It's that bad. I actually hate it and regret ever joining. They talk the talk, but will always side with the males that bring more memberships. They also play music and have three TVs with sports volume up, noise chaos, and add the guys crashing weights by the no crashing weights signs.

End of review. Wow. She was banned. I want to know what she did. She obviously did something with her toes. She rolled away with her toe, which seems dangerous also. Be careful. I have a feeling they've had problems with this person in the past.

I have a feeling they know Stella. Yeah, they know her very well. Yep. Too well, one might say. I would say that I know Stella too well. We've all, unfortunately, gotten to learn. What the hell is happening there? I don't know.

And I love that she says, they banned me via my phone voicemail. Like, they won't even let her back in the building they're like you can't come back here please they probably called her and she didn't answer i mean it's not like they didn't give her a chance to like talk to like talk to them that's true so they at least tried to reach out via phone but they probably had a meeting and we're like what the hell do we do about this stella person like we want to be inclusive but she's being so bad we don't know the newest person had to make the call can you imagine though i have like really bad phone anxiety but i can't imagine when it's ringing and you're like please go to voicemail please go to voicemail like you do not want stella to pick up the phone yes oh god um

i love that and then the fact that taylor goes to that gym and is like i have never really seen anything like this so or experienced it um i just cannot with this made a gesture of pushing a barbell with my toe i don't know what that means i mean i bet the people they were like what the hell is this person's problem she's like kicking weights and while she's thinking all these people are the problem oh yeah oh stella tell you right everyone else is the problem everyone else except for taylor you're are the problem oh yeah oh stella tell you right everyone else is the problem everyone else except for taylor you're not the problem thank you taylor oh team lemon thanks taylor okay my next one is from lacy it's a review of a mcdonald's in their college town okay okay i love a good college mcdonald. And this one is a fucking journey.

Oh, God. Let me tell you. Okay. So the McDonald's is located in North Manchester, Indiana, if that helps anyone. And there are four pictures. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. Of the same burger.

Oh, no. But we start before the pictures are relevant because this person rewrote their review four times. I'm only reading three times, three of them. No. Okay. These are like revised reviews? Revised reviews. Are you going to start with the original or the newest?

No, no, no. So I'm starting with the, yeah. Oh, yes. I'm starting with the original. Okay. And working my way through. To the present day. Yeah, to the present.

Okay. One star by Michael. working my way through to the present day to the present okay one star by michael if you go around the busier times of day the food does taste better but you're also waiting well over 20 minutes in the drive-thru and probably 10 to 15 minutes inside depending on the staff and i would say out of 10 visits three to four times your order will be missing items i mean it's better than the local taco bell used to be but that's not saying much. End of review. Okay. So I love the part where it's better than the local Taco Bell used to be. Oh. So, whoa, I guess that means that the Taco Bell now is better, but they're still pretending that it's worse. It's a puzzle yeah um and then this next one was on december 31st

and this one has a picture a very small part of a wrapper on the ground and that's it okay like a piece of the wrapper yeah a piece of a wrapper okay yeah i can't even see it from across you can't even tell right yeah um i can't even tell what the wrapper is of. Okay. But this is a review. Continued. Another one. One star. Waited a whole 20 minutes in line for old fries and a few nasty burgers. Once again, I don't know why I even try to fool myself into thinking they would get better.

End of review. I don't either. Then stop going. Exactly. If you have such a problem with the same McDonald's that you're revising your review each time, they're not going to look at your review and, I don't know, change the way they make burgers. It really doesn't make any sense. Those were both in December of 2018.

Okay. Like 20 days apart. Holiday season. Yes. Okay. One was literally written on New Year's Eve. Next is April. So four months later.

Okay. Here's the final review that I'm going to read. New Year, New Me. New Year, New Me. Got my fingers crossed. Here's Michael's review. And this one includes four pictures. Oh, God.

He got a new digital camera for Christmas. And the titles of them are A Joke. And then the next one is A Bigger Joke. And it's him unwrapping a burger and then opening it up. The next one is Yet Another Bad Joke. And then finally, And to Top It Off, The Mother of All Jokes. And it's just a burger. It's pictures of burgers.

So he's doing an unwrapping. Yes, an unwrapping. So he probably has, he's an influencer with 11,000 followers. Oh, yes. It's on the picture quality. You should just tell McDonald's that. Okay, so here is the final one-star review. Order several different burgers and guess what?

They were supposed to be all the same except two. And from the pic, I bet you can guess what wasn't supposed to be on them. And if you can't guess, it was supposed to be no pickles. The pictures are literally him showing pickles that are on two of the burgers.

And my wife got pickles. One job. You had one job. And failed yet again. And to think that McDonald's employees complain about making minimum wage? LOL. You deserve much less, because seven times out of ten,

the food is either wrong, cold, or you're waiting 20 minutes, even inside with one person in front of you, to get your food, and forget about the drive-thru, because you'll be in line for 45 minutes to get cold or incorrect orders. This place has went from a solid five to a zero.

If I could give you a zero star i would let me be clear he never gave them five stars i know he says he went it went from a five to a zero it started from a one he got it mixed up with the talk then another one and then another one within that review he says it should be zero so and also those one those repeated ones don't harm don't like increase the no it's one star exactly okay i don't even know why i try with this place oh yeah i know because everything else is closed besides a few places for a quick bite and you're better off going to the back inside and making your own food at least you'll have it fresh and done within five minutes i'd also like to point out they have 10 people working and every time the food is cold or wrong and the dining area is nasty as can be and it's sad because they just remodeled and

honestly they were a lot better before. One last thing, if I could have back all the money we've spent on food that I just feed to the dogs, I'd have a good grand in my pocket for sure. Maybe I'm being harsh on the kids, but honestly they deserve it. I'm positive they wouldn't pull that crap at home with their parents and or kids. And all this boils down to the management. I know I'm not the only one that has seen or had a conflict with this lady. She's very rude. I don't even know how she's still working there because she's been rude and disrespectful to not only my wife and myself, but to other paying customers,

even an older couple that were having issues ordering. She talks down to you if you have a problem with the service, and that right there is how it started with me. First of all, I'm not your child. Second, I'm not your employee. And if I was, I wouldn't be for long. And third, manners. Learn them and use them, lady.

I have mentioned all these before to corporate, but I guess you never get the memo or they don't care. And I'm going to go with they don't care. End of review. At least you got one thing right. Tell me. They don't care. They don't care.

Absolutely. I have not had enough coffee for this one. I haven't had any coffee, so I'm really struggling, especially with that. Two. I'm surprised I got through it. The number of times you feed the food to the dogs what's the matter with you pickles oh this is going to the dog find better food yeah what is the matter with you just don't go to mcdonald's i don't understand

i get that you're like probably in you know a smaller town but like they just remodeled mcdonald's there's a taco bell somewhere yeah taco bell pretty standard you literally said you can make fresher food quicker at home so go do it wait yeah actually that's a really good point just go do it um it's a good point i do want to speak to the fourth updated review so there were four total okay those were the first three the fourth one they literally just cut that one in half and like remove that whole last rant thing what out of their review about manners yeah about the manager about the employees working there talking to by their significant others yeah maybe they calmed down and we're like but i'm still keeping the first crazy half wow do you think next month it's going to be just the second half of the rant?

Oh, maybe that's it. I mean, it's been since April, so. Seriously, mind-boggling. Yeah. Okay, well, who sent that again? We've gotten so far past that. Thank you, Lacey, for sending that. Thank you, Lacey.

That was a wild trip. Now I have one from Alexandra. Alexandra says, greetings, Baron and Baroness of Cream. Greetings. Here's a wonderful review of Lean Cuisine's sesame chicken meal. Yes. Hopefully it lives up to your standards as... Lean Cuisine. I'm excited for this.

Hopefully it lives up to your standards as it was not living up to Shelbs at all. Uh-oh. Okay, so Shelbs says, Two years ago, one star. By the way, this is... Here, I'm going to show you you this is on the lean cuisine website like on their actual website where i guess you can rate their products i would normally never look up no no that they do review so very interesting thanks for sending this in first off looks nothing like the picture you've advertised on this web page. I wish it did. That exotic meal looks scrumptious. Second, what happened to the old noodles? I miss them. First you change the

packaging, now the noodles? Is my life over? Well, no, but I'm surely upset about this. What can I say? I have little in my life and this change of noodles just took what little I do have and made it so I have less. These new noodles are a poor pile of thin spaghetti. I'm very disappointed that I purchased more than one box without calling and checking to see that everything was status quo with this meal. Do you think Lean Cuisine also knows Shelbs? They're like, oh, not Shelbs again. Shelbs was going to call them and be like, just to make sure before I order this, is your noodle recipe the same? Only on the sesame chicken. Only on the sesame chicken?

This exotic scrumptious meal? Oh, God. She's going to check her voicemail. There's going to be email like, sorry, Shelbs, you're actually not invited back. You're banned from leancuisine.com. That's the saddest sentence I've ever heard. That was a very sad review. Yeah. Oh, it's not over. Oh, myine.com. That's the saddest sentence I've ever heard. That was a very sad review. Yeah.

Oh, it's not over. Oh, my God. Sorry. Then there was like a little thing where you can type like an excerpt, I guess. You know how they have like, write your review. Then like, would you recommend? So there's one segment where it says, Shelb says, this new sadness is a threat to my happiness.

Oh, no. Stop. How long have you been purchasing this product? Three to five years. It's quite a span, but three to five years. Because she doesn't remember. It's a blur. It's all a blur.

When she found that chicken, it was like time flew. Three to five years. And so that, thank you, Alexander. That was the weirdest thing I've ever read. I had no idea that was a thing. And now I do, and I'm better off for it. I wonder if Lean Cuisine will fix their pasta for her. Yeah, that'd be nice.

I highly doubt it, but... Okay, fair. But it would be such a nice story. It would be. I mean, maybe they have some in the back, like of their old recipe or whatever. They're just going to bring it out just... You know, Shelbs, because you've been eating our food for three to five years, have some of our old stock.

Here's the secret vault. The stuff that no one else liked, so we changed the recipe. Vault noodles. Oh, boy. Yeah, the thing that our marketing team spent millions of dollars on is changing, but okay. All right, I have one more. This is from Selena. So Selena was looking for a picture of her local Wendy's menu on Yelp and came across this review.

And this is a redemption. Oh, that's good. Finally. Yeah, we're ending at least on my section on a good note. Looking through mine, we're not doing that. Okay, well, at least Selena wants us to enjoy ourselves for a little bit. Here's a five-star review of Wendy's by John. Sarah was amazing.

She gave us happy hour Frosties after happy hour. The single best fast food employee i've ever witnessed she's like the lebron james of wendy's i never want anyone to service me again i just want sarah she's the greatest of all time give the damn woman a raise and ruby yeah and like wow yeah And it's a screenshot of Yelp, and the one above it is not as exciting, but it's also complimenting Sarah. Sarah, you're going to go places in life, girl. Sarah is already going places. Clearly.

She's more popular on Yelp than either of us are. Yeah, that's probably true. It's a weird metric to gauge, but, well, that's very heartwarming. Yeah, I thought so too. Shout out to all the Sarahs out there that are kicking ass at Wendy's. And shout out to Selena for introducing us to Sarah. Thank you, Selena. Go tell Sarah we say hi.

Yes, please. So this is a review sent in by Julia. And Julia says, this is a review the grocery store that my husband works at got. He works at Alfalfa's Market in Boulder, Colorado. It was a one-star review on Yelp, which the user has since deleted, but not before they printed it out and hung it up in their office. Uh-oh. So it's one of those. I love that.

And they printed it out and put it in like a frame. Oh my god, yes. In like an ornate frame. It's looking fancy. Okay. Greetings. ornate it's looking fancy okay greetings i stopped by the louisville cafe today and at the store entrance i noticed a sign close to the floor that says shirts and shoes required i never have noticed this before and find it to be exclusionary a response would be appreciated regards

regards please allow me to go barefoot and sure listen to your establishment regards that guy that you had to escort off the property last week because i wasn't wearing any clothes the reason why you made this rule exactly the reason you added a sign i think that person knows that it must be a response would be appreciated what like on yelp like oh yeah oh my goodness or like from the yelling because he's outside yelling into the restaurant let me in most likely they're just ignoring him with his stomping his bare feet yeah also it's colorado like you can't walk around always barefoot i guess you could i mean a lot of the year but you can do what you want i guess um okay so this last one so thank you for

that this last one i have is hannah i have one more. That's fine. In case you didn't know. I figured. You figured that out? Train of thinking. So Hannah says, I was bored at work and someone on Instagram said, if you're bored, you should look up your old high school's Google reviews. Was that us? Did we say that? Probably not.

But it sounds like something we would say. Sounds like it. A Pittsburgh episode. Yes. Hannah says, I did and I did not disappoint. I burst out laughing at work and had to share so this is of germantown high school in wisconsin one star by nathan did not give lemon with water when i asked for it politely end of review so it's a review but maybe about

the cafeteria yeah i think so what the fuck like lemon in my water this sounds like our fucking peppy ass school yeah seriously or that school in pittsburgh where they were like actual like rolexes exchanged oh that's right the rolexes yeah yeah but i don't know i mean it seems like maybe it's somewhere in the middle because uh no lemon water i mean oh yeah true true it seems like um the halls were flowing like really low class if they don't know. I mean, it seems like maybe it's somewhere in the middle because no lemon water. I mean, oh yeah, true, true. It seems like the halls were flowing with mint water. Sounds like really low class if they don't have lemon water. They don't have spa water in the water fountains? With those little spigots?

Little spigots of spa water? Spigot spa water spigots? Spa water spigots. Yeah, with lots of citrus. And mint. And mint. Oh yeah yeah we did that once so what did we make i forget what it was you made minty water but then all the mint leaves something mint water there's something else in it it got caught in the spigot yeah but it worked for a

while and it was really good like if you've ever just make your own water just it's fun it's nice and it tastes good and it's refreshing then wander around barefoot and try to go into other people's establishments. And then give it to high schoolers who are asking for it. Thank you, everybody who sent in your reviews. That was really fun. It's a blast as always. It was. This is one of my favorite parts of the month.

Yeah. Because you make it easy on us. You send some good stuff. You guys do. And we, once again, we have hundreds that we're slowly working our way through. through so if you haven't heard yours but you sent us something like almost a year ago oops guess what we'll still probably get to it yeah because we just have so many so it's not personal i promise yeah we i kind of just jump around randomly sometimes i go all the way at the beginning in the middle so we'll find you um so if you want to send us in something, send a review.

Email us at beach2sandy at gmail.com with the subject Between You and Us. If you have any other questions, concerns, or comments, feel free to email us without that in the subject and we'll read it right away. And leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts if you feel like it. Yay! Because that helps us out a lot. That really does. Thank you guys for listening. And we'll see Apple Podcasts if you feel like it. Yay! Because that helps us out a lot. That really does. Thank you guys for listening. And we'll see you soon.

See you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.