Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 11

Episode Date: December 9, 2019

All hail King Salmon! Just... don't order him on a cinnamon raisin bagel. In this month's episode, we read some of the worst reviews you've ever sent us. And we're starting to think they cut off all circulation to our heads, because we blacked out halfway through. So throw on your 'flage Crocs and enjoy another special episode of Between You And Us. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a livestream Q&A every month.  Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and happy December. Happy December. It's time. It's time for that time of the month. It is B-Y-A-U.

B-Y-A-U. That's the initialism for between you and us. Good job. Thank you. I've been practicing. Yeah. Earlier I texted you. Do you want to... What was it? Do you want to record B-U-A-S?

I was like, yeah, sure. I knew what you meant. Yeah. I was way off. I didn't even question it. I was just waking up. So, Between You and Us. This is where we read reviews that you sent in to our email, beach2sandy at gmail.com,

with the subject between you and us in the subject oh you said that yes uh i also wanted to add that um just so i know we've said this before but just you guys know we're not ignoring you if we don't read your review or we don't respond um we're getting close to a thousand in our folder so it's getting pretty wild we just kind of pick them as we go and um so if we don't get to yours or don't respond do not feel hurt and if you're sitting there like i wrote them in may and they never used mine it's never gonna happen well all of mine are from May. This time? Oh, my God. So, yeah.

So it's never. It's never too late. Hold out hope. And don't stop listening to us because we're terrible and don't respond. Because we're ignoring you. Okay. So I think we both have six. Yes. Do you want to start or me?

Well, six emails. I think one of mine has a couple. Oh, okay. Like a response. But yeah. You start then. I'll go ahead. So my one of mine has a couple. Oh, okay. Like a response, but yeah. You start then. I'll go ahead. So my first one is from Haley. And Haley says, Hey y'all, my husband and I are currently looking for a hotel to stay in for a mini vacation in New Orleans

and came across this hilarious review for the Historic Streetcar Inn. What's that? Well, Haley does say that the price is $50 a night. Oh. So you shouldn't expect much. But she did say the one-star review is probably justified. And hopefully you found a better place to stay, Haley, because this was written in May. So I don't know where you guys ended up.

But here is the review that Haley sent in. It is written by Megangan they gave rooms a one service a one and location a two okay so here we go horrible if i could give a zero i would the first room they gave us was already occupied we walk in and found someone else's luggage the second room was so dirty. There were cigarette holes in the blanket and the sheets were worn out and long black hairs everywhere. Then the icing on the cake was this. There was fermented poo in the toilet. No. That was it. We were out of there. We did get a refund, but it has not been posted to my account.

I have a receipt, so let's hope it shows up soon. Spend the extra money and stay somewhere nice. Horrible. Update! We were told we would get a full refund, but when we called today, they said no. They actually said, Did you read the reviews? We are not the Ritz. We don't need the Ritz. We just wanted a clean room with no old smelly poop in the toilet.

How could a room have been cleaned between customers and still have old poop in it? Sorry to be graphic, but this is ridiculous. End of review. I like how they're like, did you read the review? She's like, I wrote the review. That's the point. Like, literally, like, they're like, come on. We're not the Ritz-carlton

here shit happens here literally so fermented also the fact that she said fermented like she was seeking the right adjective and i was like that's not the one i don't i don't think unless there's like apple cider vinegar in there too oh god what's the best way to break this down? Oh, vomitous. That's foul. And I'm sorry for Megan, but also, yeah, that please avoid probably, I would say. Yeah. Hopefully Haley and her husband did. Oh, God. Terrible.

Yeah. Some of the hotel ones. Long black hairs everywhere. I just pictured like a room as it was being described and then just suddenly like hairs on every. Oh, it's so yeah freaking gross gross all right my turn yep okay so this was sent in by eliza and um eliza says hey alex and christine and junie and geo and lemon and anyone else who might have made an

appearance on the podcast in more recent episodes i'm not caught up so trying to cover all my bases just wanted to send you guys a review i saw that made me do a double take for context this is for black phoenix alchemy lab who create perfume oils based on stuff like fantasy mythology etc i think ultraviolet mentioned in the review is a fragrance they do so this is a facebook review and it's actually a five star a couple of mine are more lighthearted because i feel like i keep dragging everybody down. We could use that. I'm trying.

I'm trying my best. So this is what Amanda said of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, which is this perfumery. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab saved me from a deer tick. I found her on my ear. And once I stopped shuddering and chanting, Tick on my ear! My boyfriend shouted, Peppermint oil! They hate peppermint!

I shouted back, I don't have that! But I do have a huge collection of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab made with pretty much any essential oil I could imagine wanting. Ultraviolet did the job. The tick withdrew. I smell great. So five stars from me, none from the tick. End of review. Oh my gosh. Saving people from Lyme disease one tick at a time. That's what B-P-A-L does. B-P-A-L. Did I get it yep uh thanks bringing people away from lime

yep um yeah so thank you aliza for sending that in uh i that is light-hearted life-saving light-hearted nice right except for the little baby tick but she'll be okay i'm impressed that was it the boyfriend who's like like, peppermint oil. How the hell does anyone know that? I don't know. All my knowledge of ticks was from what Michael Carey, our next door neighbor, would tell us. And I feel like most of it was just not even true. And it was probably mostly like, avoid them or you will die.

Or like, I'll cut your finger off if there's one. Oh, yeah, that kind of stuff. Yeah. I'll die one way or the other. He one time cut off my pigtail with uh hedge hedge cutters oh good times good times thank god i had some peppermint oil yes to repel repel him i hate peppermint oil oh all right your turn my next one was sent in by alexis and alex Alexis was reading the reviews of a brunch place that her boyfriend and she went to that morning. And that morning was May 18th.

Oh, right. That morning that she sent the email, you're saying? Yes. I see. So I was about to say this morning. I'm like, nope, this was many months ago. And yeah, so then, of course, they looked up the Yelp reviews because they didn't really like it. And they enjoyed disgruntled ramblings from this fella named Gary.

Oh, disgruntled Gary. Disgruntled Gary. And Alexis has a suggestion to everyone. If you're interested in a drinking game, you can take a shot every time he mentions 40 or anniversary take a sip of your 40 every time take a sip of your 40 every time he mentions 40 got it i'm on it let me grab my 40 okay it's under this couch cushion oh wow oh my how many are down there what the heck only eight or nine oh wow jk this is a sparkling water you'll get through all of them here here's gary's review of scratch in mountain view california i could have told you not to eat there

scratch scratch that's awful it does not sound like a good name i'll give you that okay gary says my amazing wife and i were celebrating our 40th anniversary today yes you heard correctly 40 years i'm already drunk all week we discussed where we wanted to go and had a who's who of restaurants assembled from san francisco to monterey i don't know why that's so funny. I know. Who's who of restaurants? I'm so lame.

I'm just like, oh, it's our anniversary. I guess we can like make noodles. Okay, area. Who's who? After much discussion, we decided, as Mountain View residents, we should choose to celebrate our special occasion at our favorite local Castro Street restaurant, Scratch. Scratch has always been a go-to for us. Great food, great service, great cocktails, never been disappointed. Until now. That said, the food was quite good. The service was good. The folks bussing the dishes were amazing

and totally on top of it. Unfortunately, the entire experience rang hollow. When making the reservation through Open Table, which I love, I pointed out that this dinner was a very special occasion, our 40th anniversary, and we were excited to be spending it at scratch. Didn't ask for any freebies, just wanted them to know we were coming in for a very special occasion. I mean, come on. How many couples make it to 40 months? Never mind 40 years. Wait, oh, for a minute I really thought he was saying we made it to 40 months, but I

was like, Gary, fuck you. You really led me astray. And we still love, and like, each other. When we arrived, the hostess and manager, I think, had a challenge finding our reservation, but that was quickly rectified and we were soon sitting at a nice window table in the main dining area. Cocktails, appetizers, and main courses came out on time, actually a little too fast, and tasted great. Our waiter lost track of us a couple of times, but the support staff more than made up for his lack of attentiveness. Dinner was wrapping

up and we were still not wished a happy anniversary. Not once. We ordered coffee and dessert. Coffee came out slow. Sugar that we ordered came out when we were ready for our second cup. And when dessert arrived, ice cold creme brulee, still no one recognized our special event. The bill came super fast and was processed even faster. Still no one recognized our special event. The bill came super fast and was processed even faster. Still no recognition. While leaving, my wife asked the chilly hostess if our reservation mentioned that this was our 40th anniversary. Surely the message was lost in translation from open table to scratch.

The hostess replied, yes, it was there. When asked if our waiter knew, she said, he should have. Really? It was listed in our reservation and you did not greet us appropriately? And when discussed with you at the end of our meal, you still did not say anything about it being our anniversary? Again, I did not want anything for free. I dropped well over $200 on the dinner and tipped appropriately on top of that and was glad to do it. I just wanted someone, anyone to recognize and share in our special moment. But no one cared. No one made our special day special.

What was once our favorite go-to restaurant was an epic fail. Customer care was an epic fail. Customer care was an epic fail. So moving forward, Scratch is now scratched off our list of restaurants. We will not be back. We will no longer share special moments there. And that makes us real sad. End of review. Oh my goodness, Gary.

Get it together, bud. gary gary chill i know are you okay gary's not okay oh my gosh oh shit i haven't wished him a happy anniversary happy anniversary gary i greeted him so inappropriately earlier just like how wild is that but like what in the world open table lets you click on like it's my birthday it's my i have never had that ever work i have like once i put in like it's my birthday and they were like oh happy birthday and i was like thanks like that was it and i was actually very surprised um i think someplace actually even gave me like a dessert or something or asked if we wanted to do dessert um but yeah, no, I mean, what are you doing, sir? Yeah, really?

I mean, come on. I like how he's like, we waited for coffee. Maybe then they would notice. Like, what are they going to notice? Like they were just being passive aggressive the entire time and probably really rude about it. They had their wedding rings like on the table. Clinking. Oh my God.

40 years. 40 years. That is a long time. Oh my god. 40 years. That is a long time. That is impressive. For someone with such high standards, that's very impressive. Well, I guess they both had those standards. Because they both seemed upset.

I like how it ruined their entire 40 year anniversary. That their food was great. And they couldn't share it with anyone else. It's not about sharing it with each other. He was upset And they couldn't share it with anyone else. Like, it's not about sharing it with each other. He was upset that he couldn't share it with anyone else. I mean, come on. But also, it bothers me how many positive things were in there about how great the food staff was, how much they loved that restaurant, how great most of the staff were.

The waiter did lose track of them a few times, which I was like, where were they? Were they wandering around telling everyone it was their anniversary? Oh, he lost track of us again. Oh, no. It also reminds me of, like, oh, God, it was probably, like, episode two, maybe one, I don't know, very early with the strawberries on the floor where that woman was just so upset that there were no strawberries for her

and her husband's anniversary that, anniversary that her nose started to bleed. Oh my god, yeah. She handed a bloody towel to the concierge. What a fucking mess. It's the same idea. Anniversaries seem to bring out the worst in people. Clearly. On Yelp, at least.

That's wild. Oh, Gary. Well, thank you, Alexis. And I do want to add a little note. Alexis said, P.S. I just listened to Between You and Us, Episode 4. And Alex, you are not alone. Bean sprouts are the worst, and I don't even put them in my pho.

Thank you. You don't like bean sprouts? No, I made a whole thing about bean sprouts. I'm sure we've already had a long conversation. And I think you were like, what is your problem? I love bean sprouts. You're like, bean sprouts have to be in pho. They do.

They make it crunchy. I don't do it. I'm sorry. Thank you, Alexis. Thank you. Okay. I have one from Kila. I think it's pronounced Kila.

Who's to say? Who's to say? There's no message whatsoever. Just a picture of the review, which I kind of love. It's just easy. Can jump right in. Yeah. We hate hearing from you guys.

No, that's not what I mean. I just mean I'm not offended that I can't share this special moment. I wasn't greeted appropriately. By Keela. Kayla. Keela. So this is a review of, it's a one-star review of Killarney's Irish Pub in Huntington Beach. This is a one-star review, and it doesn't say who wrote it, but here it is.

If you want to pay $10 for ginger beer, this is your place. I ordered a Moscow Mule last night, and the lady bartender with frizzy hair and excessive makeup made me a drink that was about 95% ginger beer. I gave her a $1 tip, but then I scratched it off and only tipped her 25 cents, because there was no way I was going to pay $10 for an eight ounce drink of ginger beer. A couple minutes later I went to the bathroom and she stomps in and yells in her high-pitched voice, were you the person that tipped 25 cents? I said, I sure am. She grabbed my drink from my hand and threw it on the floor and stomped right outside. Oh my god, okay god okay yeah things got a little heated

there were other customers in there who saw and even one of them said she was a little scared and thought that was very rude of her i bonded with the other customers and it's like an hour later they all come out they've just been talking and like sharing in a circle about they're covered in like glass and ginger beer i just hate that cliche always of like oh women go into the bathroom and make friends but i'm like but then we clearly just keep doing it because oh that i'm thinking like the cliche of yelp reviewers somehow making friends oh that too yeah it's just other people don't want to get on their bad side um but yeah so she says i bonded with the other customers and we exchanged instagram handles afterwards dear lord probably because they're like gonna report her i took a picture in the

bathroom time stamp 12 48 a.m april 27 2019 so you can check the security footage if you have any of her going to the bathroom so you can see this is all true i also took a picture of the receipt so don't try to change my 25 cent tip to 2525 or $250 out of spite because oh boy. This is truly kind of a funny story so I hope the readers at least get a laugh from this tragedy. And secretly hoping it goes viral so give this review a thumbs up so people can see their true brand. End of review. Okay, that last bit was terrible. You have to like wish it goes viral out loud it's not it's

not good keela slash kayla gave it a like take that back uh-oh uh-oh was this kayla trying to get their review maybe go viral perhaps i'm sorry if i'm pronouncing it wrong keela keila too bad there's nothing about us that has gone viral what if it's kyla now i've been just saying it all i know i was gonna say that key how do you spell it k-e-i-l-a i'd say kayla oh shit okay kayla what have you been saying uh i said keela and kayla and kyla oh okay we've got all our bases covered um so yeah that's terrible i mean it's all terrible oh yeah all of it on both if the server really came in or the bartender and threw the drink on the floor, sure, that is wildly inappropriate. I like to think some steps happened between knocking the drink on the floor and, like, oh, I tipped you 25 cents. Yes.

Like, I like to think at least there was some sort of back and forth, perhaps. If not, still shitty. Well, since we're only getting one side, I'm going to assume that there is another side to it. if not still since we're only getting one side i'm gonna assume that there is another side to it and since this person is trying to make that side go viral quote unquote you have to think maybe there was slight embellishment but who's to say who's to say wow wild thank you kayla kyla keela don't tip 25 cents it's not her fault that the drinks are priced a certain way also ginger beer or um moscow mules are sweet as hell and it's hard to tell if there's anything else in them and also then just say hey there's too much ginger beer.

Can I have more vodka in this? And guess what? They'll do it. Yeah. Be a decent person, maybe. Oh, boy. Okay, my next one is from Allie. Allie says, hi, Alexander, Christine, and Monty Jr.

Hello. With the summer days coming up, I started looking for a lounge chair to use in my backyard to get my tan on. Well, I'm reading this in wintertime. Oh, I was like, are they in Australia? And then I was like, oh. Nope, this was written in May. Okay.

So here is a review of a chair. And Christina, I'm just going to let you react to, if you can see from there what is that picture oh my god it's the ones with the whole face yes face hole i have one of those so there's a face hole two arm holes that are like would be kind of in line with where your neck is oh i didn't see the arm holes doesn't look like that comfortable. So you're kind of like, oh yeah, doing a push-up stance. Okay, yeah, I have one of those. It's actually kind of nice.

Well, Sarah did not like it. Oh no. Sarah gave it one star with the title, Simply Put, This Should Be Recalled. Okay, so the honest review of this item. The clip will not last its first use. The padding around the face is useless and falls through. The material is already starting to pull apart. Okay, so if you want to use this lounger, you will need something to pad the face area, the armholes, and to cover the chair's hardware where it will make your hips get cut. Even with the padding, I cannot use it for belly time.

The armholes are not large enough. Even padded, they cut into the arms and cut all circulation off. While this is happening, your face hole doesn't line up with the arms, and it cuts deeply into the neck. Even with all my padding, it cuts all circulation off to the head. Oh no, all of it? How do you think she ended up on the reviews? Oh my god. She had no circulation to her brain.

Oh no. All circulation, all of it. that's so good okay even laying out 20 minutes the first time i literally blacked out don't it's not over when i went to lay on my back simply rolling over the second time i used it was probably around 15 minutes my husband asked me something and when i sat up to talk to him i fell and cracked my head blacking out again oh my god oh no what is going on here these pics and they're a bunch of pics of, like, blurred out of the face, like, with red, like, from MS Paint or something. No, red paint. Oh, her face is blurred with red paint.

Yeah, they scribbled over their face. Got it. But it's like their face in the hole, their arms through the hole. Oh, it's like of the hole, but then the face is scribbled out. Yeah, it has like a bunch, yes. MS Paint! So these pics were taken the second time. Please recall this item.

Please do not purchase this, ladies. Those have a bunch of question marks and exclamation points. Oh, I can tell. Someone is really going to get hurt. I only hope Amazon approves this review. They tend to block negative reviews I try to post every now and then. But I believe in full honesty about every product. End of review dear lord

they tend to block my negative reviews because i usually end up hitting my head even when i'm putting on a pair of socks i like the full honesty part and it's like yep in full honesty i had zero circulation to my brain and i blacked out what twice and then i asked my husband something or my husband actually i sat up and hit fell off what that's not the chair's fault i don't know yeah i there was no evidence that that was the fault of the chair also like i yeah i just wonder about this blacking out thing i'm like there must be something wrong you should probably yeah it doesn't sound healthy but i don't think it's the chair that's unhealthy like something about what you're doing in the way i don't know i'd assume maybe it's that scarf that she has tied really tight around her neck just cutting up all

the circulation to her head i did see that in those pictures yeah that part wasn't blurred out by emma's pain i just can't with people i how do you not know how to use a chair that badly? I don't know. I don't get it. I have one of those and it's like just a stupid shitty chair. It was like 30 bucks. Yeah. And like it's not the most comfortable in the world, but I mean, I'm not going to like find my demise by laying on it for 20 minutes.

I mean, and also if you're like laying on it for two minutes and you're like, oh my God, all the circulation to my head is being cut off. Like don't keep laying in it for two minutes and you're like oh my god all the circulation to my head is being cut off like don't keep laying in it for 18 more yes oh my gosh oh my gosh i don't even know what to do with this person well i kind of want this chair now just to try it circulation recall this chair okay ladies do not buy do not buy now i want to buy one yeah um okay so this is a review i'm gonna do one more positive one um this is from natalie and it says hello siblings she for fur babies and dare i say lemon you dare you daren't ran into this review on camo crocs while late night m's on shopping and knowing christ Christine's affinity for camo shoes, I knew I had to send it along. So I have a pair of Rothy's made out of water bottles and they're called Neon Camo.

And I thought that... It's actually pronounced Flage. Flage, yeah. That's what Selina and I used to say. I said camo this weekend and Selina was like, I think you mean Flage. Yeah, that's what Selina used to say. I said camo this weekend and Selina was like, I think you mean flage. But I thought that Natalie sent this because of my affinity, my anti-affinity for Crocs, which is something that I hold deeply in my heart. And Francisca, my little sister, is obsessed with Crocs.

She made me go to the Crocs store. My little sister loves Crocs, too. Yeah. Yeah. It was terrible. We didn't even go inside, because Mom and I were like, we don't want to be a part of this.

But yeah, so she loves Crocs. Apparently Crocs are cool now. Yes. I have no understanding of any of this, and I don't want to be involved. But apparently... I wonder what she's going to get us for Christmas. She asked me. She literally was online, and no irony in her voice was like, hey, what if I get you a pair of Crocs for Christmas?

Yep, I knew it. Yep. This is a review by Jeremy. And this is a review of the Camo Crocs Clogs. Camo Crocs Clogs. Five stars. Verified purchase. Get you some. Best pair of Crocs I've ever purchased. They are the only pair I've ever purchased. These camo Crocs up your game with the

women. The camo hides your feet and makes you pretty well invisible to others unless you want to be seen. I can't tell you how many women come up to me and say they love my Crocs and then try to take me home. I wear my camo Crocs all the time on dates to a movie, mowing the lawn, hunting, fishing, even in bed. They are the most comfortable thing your feet will ever feel. I will be buried in these camo Crocs one day. I know some of you may think that's selfish and that I should pass them down to the... That's exactly what I was thinking. Your first thought. Uh-huh.

What a narcissist. I'll be buried in these camo crocs one day. I know some of you may think that's selfish and that I should pass them down to the next generation. I just can't do that. They're just too beautiful to let go after I let go.

End of review. Fair. Okay. And actually, interestingly enough, Jeremy, this is a verified purchase. I like that,

that it's verified. Yeah, it's not like he just went trolling around, but Jeremy's photo is also, it looks as though he's a hunter. He's holding a dead deer. And he's in all camo, literally hat all the way down. And so I just, I can't see his feet, but I assume. Oh my God, I bet.

I bet he's wearing his camo Crocs. Actually, I can't really see anything. Oh, true. He's just, I just see a dead deer. Just a dead deer floating. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. So, I think that he's not messing around.

If he's getting real use out of them like that, I mean, hey, can't judge that. I mean, I still don't understand the whole Crocs obsession. I haven't tried any on that fit me. Have you tried on ones that don't fit you? Well, Francisca probably made me at some point. Oh. But I don't remember. But, yeah, they're supposed to be really comfortable, but I've never some point oh but i don't remember but yeah they're supposed to be really comfortable but i i've never tried them so i don't really know what else so

selena and i were asking um francisca questions because we didn't understand 99 of the things she was saying and she explained like e-girl and like soft girl do you know these things yeah and i'm and there's a there's also the the boy version e-boy that's a thing and um we were trying to understand the labels based on what our myspace labels were back in the day uh and basically she said that at school crocs are cool obviously there's the visco girl which i'm still trying to understand and then also she said that um it's cool now to wear summit country day sweatshirts at walnut which is weird because that's where we went to school

and where now she goes to school it's cool to wear sweatshirts from our high school really that's what she said and she's like yeah a lot of people have summit sweatshirts i don't get it i honestly i'm like okay well you have eight that's that are in my closet that's obnoxious it That's obnoxious. It's very obnoxious, yes. And not because I'm offended that they would wear it, but I'm like, I would not be caught dead wearing that. Not anymore. No.

That's interesting. Okay. Anyway, I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I'm learning. Yeah. All right. My next one is from Brianna. It says, after listening to your last episode about dmvs that's how long this was oh no may 15th i keep wanting to yell at them and then i'm like

wait this is you yeah i remembered this gem from a woman who wrote a bad yelp review about me for id'ing her at a wine bar that i used to work for oh she quoted, but it was definitely not something that I said. Both the review about myself and her DMV experience are included below. Oh my god. So first I'll do the DMV experience. This is by Kate, two stars. The office is clean and looks to be organized, but I strongly recommend you not take your behind-the-wheel test in this place. I've been there yesterday, and examiner literally failed me.

She was also extremely mean, especially after seeing my international driver's license. My test only lasted for five minutes, and she didn't want to go further with me. Parentheses, I didn't keep the lane when I was turning. I asked her to give me another chance since I'm working and it's hard for me to find the time for this test. She was really picking on me and said I didn't look over the shoulder when I turned, which is totally not true. Eventually she added, don't worry, I also failed it a couple of times.

You can do it again. Very bad impression. You don't treat people like that. Very disappointed. we'll retake my test somewhere else end of reveal and then she said stop reviewing us on yelp while you're trying to take the private exactly oh man um oh gosh so yeah you fail your test pretty quick and then you blame the instructor you give an actual reason. And then say, well, I'm out of here. Oh, God.

And you can't retake the test because you're busy. That's not how this works. God. You know who's busy? People who work at the fucking, have to work at the fucking DMV. Yeah, right. I know. Gosh, that's busy.

I'm sorry you have so much to do, lady. And everyone else who goes there. How terrible must that be to be that person who gives the test and you have to get in the car with all these randoms in their car yeah and then like hope they don't you know text that's so true right on yelp while they're driving that's scary i never even thought of that okay i'm nope don't like that all right okay here is uh the next review this is of corks Crowns. One star. This is a review of where Brianna works? Correct. Or used to work? Yes.

Okay. Yeah, so where Brianna used to work. One star. I didn't have a chance to taste their wine, but I can definitely tell the staff is the rudest ever. We walked in and asked if it's possible to get a glass of wine. The bartender gave us a menu and then asked for ID. I am not from the US, so I only had my international driver's license with me. The girl said they wouldn't accept this since she doesn't know how it looks like

and that maybe it's a fake one. I said, sorry, I don't bring my passport since I'm afraid to lose it. She said, sorry, I can't accept it. I was trying to negotiate with her and said, there's no reason for me to lie, etc. Eventually she said, well, if you don't like something, just go somewhere else. We headed to Santa Barbara Winery. The guy was super friendly and did not have any concerns about my international driver's license. I do understand that Cork and Crowns has its own rules, but being rude to customer and basically say,

get out of here, is not only mean, but very unprofessional. End of review. I'm very busy and I failed my driver's license test today, so stop being so rude to customer. I bet Brianna was like, maybe the first time reading that, like, wait, who was working then? i was me it's like this moment of like this person's talking about awful but not did so wait did um did brianna say what was mis like what they actually said um just no just said she quoted me but it was definitely

not something that i said i assume she didn't say what happened was like yes the situation happened where like yes she did not accept this international id that she did not recognize um and didn't feel comfortable giving her alcohol which makes total sense to me um like i understand i mean it's going to be a policy thing but um anyway but yeah and then this person like never like just basically said this they were told to get the get out of there i mean the both of the reviews have international ids i wonder i do wonder i mean yeah i do wonder but um you know there aren't many people in this world with international IDs, so it really could be the same person. And a little fun fact about this.

That DMV thing happened on January 22nd of 2016. And Quarks and Crowns situation had happened February 8th, 2016. I'm telling you it's the same person. No, it is. Oh, it is? That's what I'm saying. Oh, no, I was joking the whole time that it was the same person. Oh, no, it actually is.

Oh, I'm so stupid. That's what's funny. It's like literally they failed their license, their driver's license in January. February they went and they didn't have a U.S. driver's license because they failed their test. Oh, I'm so stupid. Okay, I get it. I also was thinking like she's dry she's drinking and driving around different wineries i'm like god this blade better be careful oh yeah she's

making me nervous oh my god okay just like not looking over her shoulder yelping while driving i okay let's see so this is a review oh my goodness this one just terrible this is a review sent in by aaron and aaron says hi alex and christine love the show the episode on grand rapids apartment complexes was my favorite but i'm a little biased because i'm from there um i can't help but laugh whenever i drive past one of the places you read reviews of here's another gem from michigan's second largest city the owner's reply takes the review to the next level aaron this is a review uh by matt levy and it doesn't oh it's of gr bagel green rapids bagel i assume so um this is by matt two stars there must be something in the water at this place. Where to begin? I ordered a cinnamon raisin bagel with lox bread, and the person at the counter criticized my order as being a faux pas.

This was somehow in reference to the New York candidate who did so in NYC, except she butchered the reference because the order was lox, not lox bread. Okay. Oh my, what is that? Do you know about this? No, i have no idea either i think um somebody so so yeah here we go cynthia nixon ordered a cinnamon raisin and lox bagel and it was like a thing that people got obsessed with uh because it's discussed sounds she's the new york governor and i think yes it looks like because she's the new york governor and i think yes it looks like because she's the new york governor people and it's a gross combination people freaked out

they're like you should you should have better taste in bagels if you're going to be serving if you're going to represent yeah new york city i i assume is what's happening um a bagel with cream cheese lox red onion tomato and capers is an iconic new york food stuff like a slice of pizza fold in half or a dirty water hot dog but nixon's wild card substitution of a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese locks red onion tomato and capers is an iconic new york food stuff like a slice of pizza folded in half or a dirty water hot dog but nixon's wild card substitution of a cinnamon raisin bagel is what's causing people to lose their minds so anyway that's what that's what this is referring to this was somehow in reference to the new york candidate who did so in nyc except she butchered the reference the order was locks not locks spread tomato onion capers cream cheese on cinnamon bagel.

So the comparison ain't cutting it, lady. Never mind that you shouldn't criticize your customer orders. Then after I told her I was from New Jersey, I was told that doesn't really count compared to NYC. They pride themselves on hand making their cream cheese here. Let's be real, honey. Every single NJ bagel shop hand makes its cream cheese, just like the six or so shops in my hometown. The horse is really high at this place. Now to the bagel. The second star was given because the flavors were good. Sweet, light cream cheese, hint of salt on the lox, lots of raisins in the bagel.

I'm going to throw up. This is so gross. I'm just realizing how nasty this is. Right? I love lox and I love like caper. I like gross foods, but don't put it on a cinnamon bagel. Like whether or not it's lox or lox spread. It might even be worse than it's spread with chunks of lox in it.

I still consider this a faux pas. It's terrible. To be fair, if this were my customer, I wouldn't tell them they're committing a faux pas. My thought is it was like a joke. Like, oh, like that lady. Yes. Because it seems to be around the same time that happened. Yeah. You know?

I don't know. But sure, maybe not. But that being said. Sweet, light cream cheese, hint of salt in the lox, lots of raisins in the bagel. Sadly, the goodness stops there. The lox spread had no significant chunks of lox in it. Oh, good God. To mix with my raisins.

Oh, God. You could barely see the pink come through in the color. Second, the bagel was pint-sized. Probably half of a good Jersey bagel. Nobody says that, by the way. No. And the whole thing was soft.

A quality bagel should have a crusty exterior. After she asked how the bagel was and I brought up the crust i heard an excuse about how well we don't have the right size ovens here to do it that way hold up i thought these guys were the real deal criticize the customer and then you hand me that kind of line when you know you aren't up to snuff listen i've only got one thing to say about this place forget about it and then the owner gr bagel responded don't call me honey end of review yes oh my god yes i'm so happy that just completes it in my mind okay no that's i don't understand this he's saying he's from new

jersey don't overanalyze it. I don't get it. And they're in Michigan? I thought they were in New York, but then now, obviously, they're in Grand Rapids. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. They're in Grand Rapids, Michigan. That's why I'm so confused by this whole New York, New Jersey nonsense. Maybe it's in New York.

They were like, we serve New York bagels or something. Maybe he said, I'm not from New York. I'm from New Jersey. And she's like, oh, well, New York's where they make the good bagels. I have no idea. Or he probably just has a complex about the bagels he seems to have a complex about a lot of things why would give you that idea jesus honey listen and i see the picture he's probably like it is late 20s like don't call people that not that anyone should but especially that i called ally Allie that once. Oh, God.

She hasn't spoken to me. You sicko. It's terrible. Terrible. But no, don't call strangers that. Don't call strangers that. All right. This next one.

Hold on. I need a drink. One sec. I got some 40s in my couch if you want. This one's bad. Oh. Oh. This one has everything oh no you sound like stefan this place has everything raisins in your locks i love i love i love those i just went on one of those weird youtube sprees where i just watched like a compilation of every stefan video i'm pretty sure john mulaney was the creator of stefan really yes and he wrote the character like

wrote all everything but he would change it last minute oh so bill hater didn't know what he was that's why he laughed it would break so hard because he didn't know what he was going to be reading you know it's that thing of like where... Okay. Don't you guys think it's funny when we refer to things that are funny by not actually quoting? Also in our like sibling way where we're like, we get each other and then people on the outside are like, what's happening here? Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Sorry.

Go on. So this is sent in by Kendall. Who says, oh, hello. Oh, hello. Hey. sent in by Kendall, who says, oh, hello.

Oh, hello. Hey, John Mulaney was in a play, like a comedy play thing out here called Oh, Hello. Funny. He and somebody else, I forget who, were in a play called Oh, Hello, and I only know this

because Alexis went to see it, and I had this bad habit for a long time of going, oh, hello, like every time I greeted someone. Yeah. And it drove her absolutely nuts because i guess in the play they just kept saying oh hello and that was her thing anyway sorry

that's weird timing well that's what kendall says fun fact and kendall loves us both and had to share this train wreck of a review of a foot massage place down the road from her fantastic um much love from austin tex, hi. I'm going there soon. So, well, this is actually Jing Massage in, it says Jollyville, Texas. I wonder if they wrote that in themselves, because then if you look at the actual map, it says Austin. But I like Jollyville. I do, too.

But this is not what you're going to, you're not going to get Jollyville. I do, but I don't. Okay. I'm going to tell you, I just like that amazon review i like honesty in my reviews and i'm gonna be very honest when i tell you there is not a single punctuation mark in this entire review not not one not an exclamation point not a period not a comma okay not not a question mark nothing it's one big sentence i and it is it takes up two images worth on my phone so i'm just gonna go if you react and interrupt me i will stop but i'm gonna just go

just go so i'll try no no feel free to interrupt me because i think i'll need a breath at some point and you will react when you're i'll watch your face and when your circulation starts to get fully cut off i'll interrupt well we got these new podcast chairs face holes oh my god okay here's a review of jing massage by nick one star highway robbery nice establishment clean facility i wish i could say the same about the staff i walked in wanting a half hour massage with hot stone just on my neck and shoulders only. Nowhere else. I persistently said nowhere else over four times. Remind you that a half hour massage is $40 and the hot stone is $5.

The lady up front who I found out later really wasn't a lady but was just a very mean person told me that she was going to not charge me for the hot stone. So I said that's fine. When she took me to the back she had a different person come in and massage me, who I might add was doing a very poor job at it. I repeatedly showed her the area on my neck and shoulder that I wanted her to massage, and she repeatedly told me that it's okay, I rub here for now. So me being a carefree kind of guy...

Oh, clearly. Oh, and it gets even better. I figured that this was all in the package deal she consistently rubbed areas all around my lower back in my arm areas that i did not tell her to rub after about 15 minutes she left the room and came back damp towel and wiped my back off and told me that she was finished i asked her what about the hot stone and she told me that my time was up i figured maybe she did not speak good enough english so i asked for the lady that was up front I figured maybe she did not speak good enough English, so I asked for the lady that was up front. She entered the room very frustrated and said that yes, my time was up, and if I want

hot stone, I have to pay her for another 30 minutes, what would be an extra $40. I reminded her about the areas that I wanted massage with hot stone and was willing to pay the $40 plus $5 for the hot stone when I first entered the facility and she persistently told me that if I want hot stone I need to pay for another 30 minutes because my time was already up I told her that's not my fault I told the lady repeatedly not to rub anything else besides the one area that I literally showed her over four times with hot stone she started talking to the person who massaged me in their foreign tongue. Their foreign tongue? Stop it.

Someone's speaking in tongues and it's not them. Someone's also not a lady. What did he say? I found out she was not a lady. But a very mean person. Sure, that makes sense. And the lady who massaged me changed completely into a very nice person and started telling me all kinds of naughty things that she can do for me for extra cost.

So don't get me wrong. I would not mind a little something something but when you look like a freight train hit you in the face backed up and then hit you in the face again at full speed plus the top it off i never had to pay for any type of side action a day before in my life so i did all i could do i got to my feet put my t-shirt back on, went to the front door, asked for some type of discount since I did not get the services that I requested, and was shy about 15 minutes of a full 30 minute massage. All she could say was my time was up and that she keeps records of whenever phone numbers call her facility and she said that my phone number called her facility before asking for a foot massage and how much she charged.

I asked her what does that matter? If I called to ask about pricing before her reply was, I owed her $40 and that's final. I paid her and told her that I was going to leave her a review. End of review. What is happening? I have a headache. Me too.

I quit. Yeah. So, um, a lot there to unpack. That got really... That just turned sour really quickly. Yes.

And there's the response from the owner. Oh, my God! Mm-hmm. Here's what they have to say. You still owe me $40. And thank God there's punctuation in this one. Not much, but some. Even though it's not their mother tongue?

Yeah. No, there's a lot more punctuation here. Nick, I remember you called me before at my work phone, and I had record about you bargained the price and asked foot massage two weeks before. I had very clear conversation with you

and also recommended you go some good foot massage. The price was much cheaper. But today, when you came to my place, I had very clearly explanation about hot stone for free and $40 had covered the service. But when 30 minutes almost passed, you asked my massage therapy to explain to you why she didn't give you hot stone first. I said hot stone is the last service because you want in very short 30 minutes to give you deep massage

and also your shoulders are very wide whatever i explained to you about we would love to extend hot stone for 10 minutes longer without any cost but you said that is not acceptable i wish you can come back someday and we will try our best to service you again end of response don't come back don't go back there yeah how about How about you? Nobody wants that. Everyone just stay apart and separated forever. Oh, God. Yeah. So apparently they were like, well, here's how it works.

And then he was like, but I want it this way. And she was like, but I clearly told you that is not how this works. And after 30 minutes, you were mad you haven't gotten hot stone, but we always do the hot stone at the end, and I offered to give it to you for free, and you said that's not acceptable, and then he wrote that awful review. Oh my god. Also, your shoulders are too wide.

Yeah. Yuck. Well, I hated that. I know. I knew you would. Well, you said that yours was bad. Yeah. Before you read it, and I was like,

okay, good, because I'm going to read my bad one after that one mine was much worse well i have one um that's not quite as bad but uh it is a review sentence oh who sent that by the way that was kendall thank you kendall yeah thank you so much for that trash um this is from grace grace says hey guys i'm a new follower of your podcast and it's everything i've wanted in a podcast. I thought you guys needed to see my favorite bad review for the West Elm registry app. I attached a picture of it for you. I hope you get as much joy from this as I do. One star forever, Grace. West Elm is that furniture store, right?

Yes. They have like household goods. Got it. Yes. So the app in general has 4.6 out of 5 stars. I know how much you like apps after the Thanksgiving. I do. I really it. Yes. So the app in general has 4.6 out of 5 stars. I know how much you like apps after the Thanksgiving. I do. I really do. So this says, one star by Jimbo.

If I could give zero stars, dot dot dot. That's a subject. This app has ruined my day twice now. And if I could wish violence on an app, this would be the one. I'm just confused why anyone thought it would be a good idea Whoa, what? End of review. Can you give us some insight? Meteorologists in Alaska who predict the weather are going to jail, and this app developer walks free. Whoa, what? End of review.

Can you give us some insight into the Alaska situation? How did you not Google that? Because I got these about two minutes before you recorded. Jail. Alaska. Meteorologist. Jail. From weatherman to accused terrorist, jailed former Alaskan opens up.

Anchorage Daily News. Now Paul Rockwood Jr. is a convicted terrorist serving eight years in a federal prison. Yada, yada, yada. You know, the usual. The usual. Wow, this is a very heavy article. It looks like there's a lot going on about 9-11 and Islam. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. What does that have to do with being a meteorologist? Well, I just read the word Anchorage, and I thought, anchor? No, I don't think that's what it is at all, actually. I assume that's the city that it's happening in, but... I don't know. Weatherman here, weather. Anchorage, Alaska alaska oh a little more than a year ago he was a weather forecaster at a remote outpost in king salmon alaska population 442 king salmon alaska what this is the real story

there's a king salmon alaska yeah you gotta put it on a cinnamon raisin bagel he and his wife with close oh he and his wife he with close trimmed red beard and shy smile she with her rosebud cheeks and sweet english accent oh my god lived in a two-story frame house strewn with toys they were popular dinner companions and regulars at community theater productions now paul rockwood jr is a convicted terrorist serving eight years in a federal prison um yeah since their arrest in 2010 accused by the fbi of drafting and delivering a list of targets for terrorist attacks friends and neighbors have been left in confusion wondering how the nice young couple could have turned into the terrorists next door okay so this has it's not like oh this guy was arrested for being a bad meteorologist you literally was arrested for being a terrorist for uh planning actual terrorist attacks and yet

this guy is like well these app developers created a bad app so. My ottoman got deleted three times. Also, the last line in this, the last paragraph, there's a line. After the charges came to light, King Salmon was in shock. Sitting on his beautiful throne. I can just picture him. Anyway, so that's that. Well, thanks for that. You learned something new every day.

We're an educational podcast. Yeah, about really important things. Okay, anyway. Okay, I've got one more. This is from Casey. Oh, also thank you, Grace, for that. Oh, yes. And also, I'm sorry, I hope your registry is turning out better than King Salmon's. Yes, seriously.

Or whatever that guy's name is. All right. Okay, so this is from casey the non-binary hatchimal oh i think casey changed that in their um twitter bio i think that was a whole thing i think i remember this this because i think on facebook live i might have given i might have used the wrong pronouns by accident and then they were i'm pretty sure they wrote i'm a non-binary hatchimal and i didn't get it at first and then later i was like oh i think they were trying to be nice and be like you fucked up my

pronouns so well if that's the case casey i apologize well casey adored this podcast in in may but we don't know if that if that's still the case so sad um and we'll give it six stars if they could cliche but true thank you um so this is a review of um their school's partner university writer university great um most of and this is what they say most of us at my school hate this place for completely unrelated finance related reasons so obviously i wanted to look at their Yelp reviews for some quality drama. I found this review and had to share it, even though it's short. And here's some context. Recently, Ryder made headlines because one of their deans resigned over the president's decision not to put a Chick-fil-A on campus.

Specifically, she resigned because she felt her religious beliefs were under fire. Oh, for God's sake. Okay. So this is what Bill wrote about Rider University. One star. Sorry, just to clarify. So the president wanted Chick-fil-A? No, the president did not and said because of their anti-LGBTQ stance.

Oh, okay. That makes more sense. And we will not have Chick-fil-A on our campus. And the dean resigned because of it. Oh, the Dean resigned because of it. The Dean resigned saying, well, my religious beliefs are under fire because we can't have Chick-fil-A here. For God's sake. So this is what Bill says.

One star. I like chicken sandwiches. My kid likes them too. So I pay for college and my kid can't get a chicken sandwich for this weak organization's fear of offending a certain student population. Last time I looked, you're hurting financially. End of reveal.

And these good, good waffle fries will change everything. God damn it. If you like chicken sandwiches so much, make your own. Or go to the cafeteria where I assume they sell chicken sandwiches that aren't Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches. Oh, yikes. Or just drive to a frig aren't Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches. Oh, yikes. Or just drive to a friggin' Chick-fil-A. Get over it.

Oh my god, right? I don't like that guy. No. But I'm glad that Dean resigned. That's kind of cool. I was going to say, you're right, you're right. Go for it. Because it's like, oh, you resigned.

Ooh. Because you're religious. Now what? You're just sitting at home. It's like from Willy Go for it. Because it's like, oh, you resign. Ooh. Because you're religious. Now what? You're just sitting at home. It's like from Willy Wonka when Willy Wonka's like, oh, no, wait, come back. And it doesn't actually mean it. And what are you going to say in your next interview? Like, oh, I resigned because they wouldn't give me my chicken sandwiches that hate.

Well, that Dean is actually at like Texas Christian now. Stop it. Just found the right place to be that dean is actually they became frogs andy dalton is that for real yeah i heard he became i heard the dean became um a weatherman in king salmon alaska oh my god quite a tale for the ages ended up in prison we're not sure how i think they made a bad app or something but something about app developer he tried his hand at it um nobody would hire him i don't know what we're talking about anymore but um casey thank you for sending that thank you casey that's actually pretty excellent little story that you got there i mean it's terrible but it's like an excellent little uh and it's a nice kind of nice little light on some cockroaches that's a little dramatic i'm sorry um okay so the last one i have is from

adelaide the person not the city okay adelaide says hiya i was recently reminded of a piece of literature i used to read as a youth okay let me guess what got me excited let me guess i don't i recognize it but i don't know it i was gonna guess um highlights oh i love a good highlights but no i do wonder if i went back and read those now what they would be like fun probably probably um this is a book called the best nest by pd eastman do you know this book it does not ring a bell i'm gonna show you the picture it's's kind of... Yes, I do. I do. I recognize it. Cover?

Yeah, it looks so familiar. Guys, Google the cover. I recognize it. And essentially, so I found the... So it's not Dr. Seuss? It's not Dr. Seuss, but it's considered part of the Cat in the Hat beginner books. Like, they have a whole series of kids' books. So keep that in mind. The little label on it has a cat in the hat that

says beginner books i can read it all by myself and i know it's precious and i'm going to read you the uh the you're gonna read the book for us you can do it all by yourself oh well i can't that's why i'm giving you to help me um i'm okay. I'm going to read you the little bio or the summary, the synopsis, if you will. It's one line. Illustrated in full color, Mr. and Mrs. Bird's search for a better nest leads them to some peculiar spots. Okay. Okay. Just to give you some culture, first of all.

Thank you. And secondly, some context for this review. This is by M. Sanford. Verified purchase of all. Thank you. And secondly, some context for this review. This is by M. Sanford. Verified purchase of the hardcover format. Subject is... Subject is... Why is Miss Bird such a bitch? Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Okay. The book leaves you with a sad feeling. Why is Mrs. Bird berating Mr. Bird and using the H word in a kid's book? I don't know what that could... There's no way it says hell in there. There's no way, right? It might be husband?

I don't know. H word? D-H, yeah. My D-H. Heck. My B-H, my bird husband holy spirit pecker what you said peck okay holy spirit i said heck not peck you get your mind out of the cutter it's an h word like a proper oh no hawk i don't know okay oh scary that is scary so anyway why hallelujah okay are you done yeah that's my last one why is mrs bird berating mr bird and using the h word in a kid's book

she says he can't do anything right so maybe pd eastman was going through something when he wrote this did mr bird cheat on her previously or is there another explanation as to why Mrs. Bird is so ungracious and condescending? And Mr. Bird is sort of pathetic himself. Don't get pushed around, man. At the end, he thinks she's dead and he is devastated, but she doesn't feel guilty for making him worried. She's suddenly pleased with what she has because she realizes mediocrity is actually the best she's going to get.

Seriously, it's a weird-ass book. These two should just take a break. End of review. If you're reviewing these books in your weird personal adulthood lens, you have the problem, not the book, I'd say. No! What in the world? That is not okay.

I also don't understand. I don't think that's anything that happened. No. In the book. I don't know. Someone cheated on Mrs. Bird. There was probably little to no evidence of any of that happening. And yet, and yet M, is it?

M Sanford. M Sanford found a way to project that upon this children's book and then blamed the author's projection yeah yeah that's like a double entendre if you will i won't okay uh also i just love how like um sexist this is of like why is she so ungracious toward her husband yeah i mean her toward her like what if it's the other way around would you would you actually have written this no exactly so shut up like what do you mean he thinks she's dead like even if any that's true yeah i don't remember this book but like maybe that does happen i feel like a lot of children's books

are more disturbing than we remember yeah could be i mean like dr seuss was mostly about like i mean he wrote about like communism and stuff and it was like critiques of communism so yeah but that at least had a purpose behind it true i mean i don't know that i don't know if i i should probably read this book before i you know continue to talk further about it um i have a feeling that mr bird did not cheat on mrs bird though at the very least without reading this book i i have a feeling that didn't happen or if it did it it was didn't involve the children yes yes um oh my god this is insane anyway so thank you adelaide for sending thank you adelaide uh i love it they were like i was reminded of this uh piece of literature i studied as a youth and then i saw this garbage oh they said i was curious as to what would encourage someone

to write a poor review of a children's book and i was not disappointed by what i found yeah people have issues personal problems also it's not like you're reading this person sounds like they're not reading it to their children they're no yeah trying to enjoy it themselves and the age board isn't or they woke up one day and was like, well, remember that book? Man, I have a problem with that book. That book ruined my life. My wife cheated on me after I read that book when I was five. I'm sorry, my BH, my bird, my BW, my bird wife.

Bird wife. What's the H word? I don't know. It's got to be husband, right? Someone write in. Tell us. Somebody read me that book and tell me what it says. Anyway. All right. That's all I have yeah i'm out too that was a good end oh that was such a weird one i love that i love children's book reviews we should do that it's a challenge

that's a good one all right well thank you everyone who wrote in if you'd like to write one in for uh next month january jan. It'll be our first 2020 episode. Please feel free to send us an email at beach2sandy at gmail.com with the subject Between You and Us. And we look forward to hearing from you. That's right. Thanks for listening.

Don't say the H word. Bye-bye