Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 16

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Before you listen to this episode, we've gotta lay down some ground rules. We expect you to either write us a poem or give us a dollar. And once you do, you'll have to follow the golden rule: ~*~Impeccable Vibes ONLY~*~ Only then can we accept you as our succulent listeners. Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Okay. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water Too Wet, the remote version. I don't think we've said it on the show yet, but I moved. Oh, I thought you had said it, but I guess you just announced it on the Instagram. On the old Instagram. Yeah, I moved my apartment during

a pandemic and I would not recommend it. It was a terrible idea. But you gotta do what you gotta do. He mostly just misses me and like living here. Uh-huh. That's why. With Gio and all the animals. Yeah. But, um, yeah.

So we're trying out this remote thing and since it's just a Between You and Us episode, who cares? Yeah, these don't matter. That's not true. These are my favorite. We thought we'd try it out. This is not like it's not like we're never going to see each other again. In fact, since he's moved, we have recorded regular episodes in person.

So this is just a little test for funsies. And since Em and I are recording remotely, we thought we'd try the same thing and see what happens. Yeah, let's do it. I've had this microphone sitting around not being used for a while. So I was like, let's do it because I want to get my money's worth. Now I can record from my bedroom, which is great. It's so comfy. I never have to leave.

You don't anyway. Okay. Between you and us, these episodes are episodes where we read submissions sent in by you via email with a subject between you and us. All right. You want to go first? Yeah, I'll go first. So all of mine are from a freaking long time ago, specifically June of 2019.

Oh, geez. Okay. Because I was like, we're almost a year, but i don't want them to be able to say we waited a year so yeah um don't give them that power my first one is uh one that i texted you about because for some reason this sounded really familiar and i don't know why oh god he literally texts me hey have you read a review about a book about finding a baby's belly button? And I was like, am I having a fever dream? No, Alexander, I haven't.

Yeah, I don't know why this seems so familiar, but it seemed familiar. It's probably because it's, I mean, it has been on your bookshelf, like on your nightstand for like years now. Oh, maybe that's what it is, yeah. It is your favorite book. I did write this review about it. It's like next to your J.D collection oh yeah all right this is uh this was sent in by nicole um who said i saw this review of this baby book the other day and it would make my year if you read it on your show so i don't know if that means that we're making their 2019 or their 2020 since they sent it so long ago.

Maybe we're making their last 11 months. Yes. And they just never knew it until now. That's what it is. Okay. So this is a review of the book, Where is Baby's Belly Button? It's a Karen Katz lift the flap book. Oh, boy.

This is a review by Pac-Man from Amazon titled, Do not buy this book. You can see the ending right on the cover. Oh, God. Spoilers. I know where Baby's Belly Button is. I haven't even read the book. It's a problem.

It's a problem. So here we go. This book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby's Belly Button. The title makes this much clearer from the beginning. However, there is no mystery. There is no twist. Baby's belly button is right where it's supposed to be.

On Baby's stomach. Right where it clearly shows you it is on the cover of the book. This plot is a complete mess as a result of its reliance on the mystery of where the belly button is. Everything falls apart the second you realize that the belly button was in plain sight all along. There is no conflict, there is no character development, and there is

scarcely any plot. Whoever wrote this book must have a serious error in judgment, because you would have to be an infant to not immediately understand where Baby's belly button is. This is one of the worst pieces of literature i have ever read and a review this i feel like you found a lot recently that are like um children's books don't have enough character development and like plot twists i think that might be why it sounded so familiar because of those waldorf i read yeah yeah yeah yeah people are clearly projecting

oh and yeah there's that baby bird one the baby bird the h which is probably the only one that was actually like a real honest review um whereas this one is probably just someone who had a little too much to drink and was like you know know what? This is from my childhood. I mean, you would know. You wrote it. Yeah, true, true, true. So thank you, Nicole. And you're welcome for making one of your years.

Yay. Okay. So the next one I have is from Vicente, who actually sent a pronunciation after I Googled to make sure I was pronouncing it right. But it turns out I was right. So Vicente says, hello for siblings i am a certified teen trademark uh-oh that's scary when was this written um recently june of 2019 okay so maybe they're no longer a teen how did i find this from so long ago i don't even know um maybe they're no longer

teen you're right i recently graduated high school so i decided to embark into adulthood and listen to a podcast with adult language i have learned so much wow we are quite educational i recently went to see toy story 4 with my best friend and before attending the theater i decided to look at reviews i was not disappointed i stumbled across this particular yelp reviewer named ricky d he's really cool and i think you guys will dig his style he only has two reviews but they are gems love your podcast you are very cool i am a teen so this is a major compliment you better take it seriously i hope you're having a good day vicente well we both know of ricky d so... We do, don't we? I think Ricky

listens to the show. Hi, Ricky. Hi, Ricky. Did you write some really weird reviews about Alamo Drafthouse Cinema? Because I'm about to read it, calling you out. I can't say Ricky without saying hi to Katie, too. So hi to both of you guys. This is a review

of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema where I assume Vicente went to see Toy Story 4. Three stars. Hey, this is Rick Del Monte from New York down here in Woodbridge at the Alamo Drafthouse. I think he was writing a script for his like local radio show. Hey, this is Rick Del Monte from york down here in woodbridge at the alamo draft house i took my grandkids to see the jurassic park movie and it was really loud the movie was good though and i like how the staff stoops real low when running down the aisle to bring you your stuff so you can still see the grandkids mom is one of those vegan people that don't eat meat so i said what the heck and got the buffalo cauliflowers they

were good it's not chicken so let's not get carried away here but i liked them drink one of those true grit drinks too and i was feeling great but it is still so loud in here maybe next time i see a comedy or something romantic because all this growling and yelling is nerve-wracking don't use your cell phone or they'll kick you out of the joint end of review wow okay was that five stars three three it's too loud okay at least it wasn't one there's so much growling sandy that was that was a kind of cute review i liked it you got to go see like how to see a guy how to lose a guy in 10 days if you want to get rid of all the growling or a quiet place oh that's probably ideal um yeah i i do i'm kind of stuck on the part of like i like how the staff stoops really low when they're running down the aisles because that just sounds so degrading and like so painful i know on your

back well thanks vicente for showing us rick oh and also i like the buffalo cauliflower thing good on you rick for trying them i love that he calls it but i love that he calls it the grand kid's mom not like my daughter-in-law you know what i mean that's true oh i didn't even like i didn't even process it oh my god oh boy let's not get carried away here all right i have a review sent in by an who says, I found this really short but really amazing one-star review of the Bailey Matthews National Shell Museum in Sanibel, Florida. The National Shell Museum. That's part of half of the reason why I included it was because of how exciting it was to learn that this was a thing.

My eyes are gleaming with excitement. Now so many people know that it exists. You're welcome. Here is Stephen's review of the Bailey Matthews National Shell Museum in Sanibel, Florida. I am a man. There was no way I was going into a shell museum that charges $15 per person. And that is my review. End of review.

He didn't write no homo at the end? No. I mean, what? How many stars was that? One. Oh my god, what a dick. What a dick. But they're probably glad to not have him in there, at least. Yeah, he'd probably be just running around huffing and puffing at all the pretty seashells.

Look how pretty that one is. Oh no! My eyes. I don't want to think that way. I want to see a manly seashell. I don't want that guy in my shell museum. In my precious shell museum. All are welcome here, except Stephen.

Okay, surprise. I have another one from Rick. Ricky D. Oh, nice. This is, again, from Vicente. This is a review of Matchbox Potomac Mills, and it's a restaurant. Four stars. Hey, this is Rickyicky del monte i just moved

what is this do you think he has a phone it sounds like he's leaving a voicemail it does do you think he's a phone shortcut where he hits like a letter three times in that whole thing just because he writes it on every piece of communication that's a good idea hey this is ricky del monte i just moved down here to woodbridge from new york first time writing a y idea. Hey, this is Ricky Del Monte. I just moved down here to Woodbridge from New York. First time riding a Yelp, so I hope this helps you out. I'm over here at this Matchbox place by the Potomac Mills shopping mall, and it's pretty nice. So let's talk about the food. I got one of their wood-fired pizzas. They put real mozzarella on there, not just that shredded bag stuff, which is real nice.

It's hot. Burnt my tongue. My wife got a steak sandwich. She enjoyed it. She said it had succulent meats. It's funny. I never heard anyone use that word. Except my- What?

What is going on with this guy's reviews? guys reviewed it's so much like it feels like an older person like figuring out blogging or like journaling i don't know like when it's just stream of consciousness just like you know he's just writing what he's thinking that's funny he doesn't think that there's some sort of format he should follow it's so loud in here respect that yeah oh boy wait i just thought of something so that him keep he kept going back to the it being loud in that theater maybe he was writing the review while he was sitting there and would just like keep updating it and then the last line what was the last line they'll kick you out if you're on your phone so he was there on his phone he kept taking it out to add to his review and his last thing was they'll kick you out because you're on your phone. So he was there on his phone. He kept taking it out to add to his review.

And his last thing was, they'll kick you out because that's the last thing he found out there. That's why the geotag location is in the parking lot. Because he had to sit and wait for his grandkids' mother outside and eat his cauliflower on the ground. It's really actually quite sad. Oh, so sad. But now he's at matchbox uh for now anyway my wife got a steak sandwich she enjoyed it she said it had succulent meats it's funny i never heard anyone use that word except my aunt cheryl god bless her whoa okay i shouldn't have

interrupted earlier because that makes it 10 times better i wonder what aunt shara like i like how he immediately associates that word with aunt shara like do you think she used it all the time or maybe just one time and then everyone made such a big deal out of it because no one had heard it except oh and now she just like is called the succulent lady because no one like will let her live it down yeah you're right that's sad cheryl the succulent lady honestly that doesn't sound too bad to me though like okay if you use succulent as in the plant it doesn't sound too bad if you use it as the adjective it's kind of creepy you're getting into like moist territory when you're saying that word i think you don't want to be cheryl the moist lady.

Aunt Cheryl, God bless her. These bourbon crisps are real nice too. Still boozy with all the ice in there, which was good, because it's hot outside right now. I think it's like 86 degrees. This place is real open and industrial looking, so bring a sweater or a light jacket in the summer when they got the AC

on. I'll be back over here, though. The food is good. Now let's talk about the service. Not not bad but the lady asked us if there were any plates she could take out of our way when there was nothing on them we ate all the food already ma'am we don't need these plates oh my god specific gripe to have uh-huh okay a little too attentive but not too attentive you know what i mean no sir i don't know what you mean i like you ricky but i have no idea what you're saying it's funny for all the many words he uses i really don't follow um oh my a little too attentive but not too attentive you know what i mean she checked on us about a dozen times it was A little too attentive, but not too attentive. You know what I mean? She checked on us about a dozen times. It was a little too much. I heard the wings are good. I'll be back over there and I'll let you know how it goes. I hope this helps if you ever go to eat at Matchbox.

End of review. I honestly, like 100% serious think he's writing this while he's sitting there. Oh, he is. Because he started saying these are good. Exactly. It's kind of cold in here. And then like the end of the paragraph, it must take him forever to type these because at the end he says, I'll head back there sometime. So like clearly he's left by the end of the review. Which I kind of respect. Like he's at least taking notes of his experience in order to contribute to the Yelp community. God, his poor wife.

She's just like trying to eat her steak sandwich. And he's like, so tell me how it is. Like writing his first ever yelp review and she's like is this my life now she's like i don't know succulent she's like he's like oh and cheryl he's like you remember i have to write that down all these people on yelp will need to know and we did i kind of i want to be a fly on that wall watching right this on that cold industrial wall. All right. So I have one sent in by, um, believe Courtney,

um, who just says Google review for my local post office. Oh boy. This is a USPS, uh, in, uh, Martinez,

California. This is a one star review by John Carlo. Horrible. A shame. I can't give them negative stars. This is a one-star review by Giancarlo. niece off on me saying i would have to pay over 55 because of the type of box it's in didn't even say good morning how are you or any type of greeting she just went straight into yelling at me when i asked for help she shrugged me off and told me it's not her job to help not one ounce of empathy and or professionalism from this vile and rancid clown my question is how in the hell is she even in the federal system especially with all these homeless disabled veterans that need gainful employment did her father's third cousin second brother great-grandfather's gardener Great Grandfather's Gardener Storm Lookout Mountain.

What? I paused there because they spelled Gardener wrong. They spelled it as if it was a name, so I was confused. But yeah, so they're Lookout. I did Google Lookout Mountain. Is this a Civil War battle or something? The Battle of Lookout Mountain was fought November 24th, 1863 as part of the chattanooga campaign of the american civil war i'm so smart i should work at the post office well your gardener has great things to say about my gardener has my gardener actually did fight in

the civil war which is pretty weird because he's 200 years old wild um and also like maybe i'm just ignorant but that seems like a very specific battle to mention online like and it's this is taking place in california keep that in mind wait where is that battle the battle was in tennessee oh the civil war probably didn't take place much in California, huh? You know what? I assume not, but what do I know? Oh, man. That's really weird, Alexator. Yeah. There's just one more sentence.

Okay. Avoid this place so this post office will be shut down and this clown will lose her job. End of review. What a nightmare of a person this is. Oh, it's terrifying that this person is out there walking around dealing with other people calling i'm sorry you mean bison dealing with other bison other bison i i feel like this is the kind of person where i'd be like hey i'll open a little like the little security thing you come back here and you fucking work at the post office all day

and also jerk this person this denise person is not sitting there like oh how am i gonna screw over this guy it's like no let me do my job and this person isn't happy that my job is making me do this like what that this is how much it costs talking about lack of empathy i mean this guy obviously has little to no empathy i mean i think if she had just said good morning none of this would have happened oh that's the ticket if had just said good morning, none of this would have happened. Oh, that's the ticket. If she had said good morning, by the way, this is going to cost you $55,

he would have been like, wow, now that I'm having such a good morning, I don't even care how much it costs. Yeah, you're right. And he would have just, he would have probably given her a good tip, a solid like 100% tip, spent $110.

Like 40 cents. Oh. solid, like, 100% tip. Spend $110. Like 40 cents. Oh. Oh, maybe that. I think Denise deserves a solid tip, especially after all that, her gardener being a veteran and all, you know? Yeah. Oh, so true. Wow.

Well, that was depressing. So this is an email we got from Poetry by Nick, who I actually mentioned recently, I believe. Well, I mentioned them first and then we both mentioned them. When? Why? I don't remember that. It was on Twitter because there was a Twitter thing.

It was something about Twitter. I don't know. Because they defended me on Twitter. Yes, this is true. Oh, that did happen. Yes. So Nick sent me Poetry by Nick. They sent me a poem. Wait, why why that doesn't make sense oh connect the dots come on um no i i mentioned in one episode i think of a necessary drink that like the only poem anyone had ever written me was you remember alexander the one about the phoenix

and the brown pools and it was so creepy um and so i had said that and then nick was like i write poetry and sent me a poem but actually in this um email specifically they sent me um a couple haikus i'm just gonna read two of them um one says and they say sorry if they suck they don't suck they're amazing so the first one is her love for others exceeded by few even to mummified fruits that's my first i love it and then this is that one sucks nick now i'm just kidding i just have a vendetta against lemon it's so nice um this one is just me like like just bragging about how kind nick is to me like the waves you are ruled by the moon you shine in the dark places isn't that nice oh my god what the heck i know that is really nice that's so sweet

and good and i feel like i don't deserve it but thank you nick that's very kind um anyway similarly that's funny what that you don't deserve it but no you meant that I was ruled by the moon. Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry. So then, because Nick likes to boost our moods, at least mine, they also sent a review, a five-star review. And this is of Top Thai Vintage in New York City. And this is a five-star review by Sadia. The vibes in here are impeccable. The staff are my family.

Every single one of them is a star. Their $1 Thai iced tea is revolutionary. I live here now. They introduced me to bean sprouts and now I farm them in my backyard. I will vote for top Thai as my write-in presidential candidate this election season. If Bernie doesn't make the cut, 1010 would recommend. Well, folks, looks like Top Thai is our new presidential candidate. They're getting a vote.

At least one. At least one. I feel two, if you count me. I feel like Dollar Thai Ice Tea will get me on board. That's the only campaign promise I need. I was confused. So you said Top Thai Vintage? I know that's what it's called, but it is a Thai restaurant.

I was about to ask you if it was T-H-A-I or a different spelling. It is. Yes. Because I wasn't sure. And then you went into Thai iced tea and I'm like, my first thought was, oh, it's a vintage store that also sells $1 Thaiai iced teas which sounds pretty fucking good um and then the bean sprouts and i'm like okay hard to make this make sense unless it's a thai restaurant and is now running for president this is all very complicated this is a very complex

thai restaurant um with a lot of personality but it is a restaurant um impeccable vibes i love that impeccable vibes you know how like good vibes only i'm gonna put up a sign restaurant um impeccable vibes i love that impeccable vibes you know how like good vibes only i'm gonna put up a sign that says impeccable vibes only and like only thai restaurants are allowed inside that's it and sometimes sometimes it'll cost them one poem per entry one poem and one dollar so I can buy another text. Anyway, thank you, Nick. That was very, very kind. And sorry, folks, that I just spent like 10 minutes reading poems about myself.

That was maybe the most obnoxious thing you've done. Is this not the most Christine bullshit to pull ever? If you had asked for them and if or if you had like written them yourself which is believable you are ruled by the moon as i look at myself in the mirror or like in this little skype window i just gaze at myself honestly though if you did do that i'd be like good for you if you can like look at yourself in the mirror and write something like that like i'd like your confidence i respect that yeah yeah i think we all know it wouldn't end up that way. But yeah, that's a lot harder said than done. I am going to move on to an email sent in by Sarah, who sent a few reviews in, but I'm going to read one of them. This is a review of the Victor Wind Museum, and it is a museum of curiosities in London.

Oh, I think the full title, sorry, is the Victor Wind Museum of Curiosities, Fine Art and Natural History. Do they have like shrunken heads? That's what I'm picturing. They have. When I looked through, it looked like all sorts of kind of things like that but um yeah random like mummified things fossils um diagon alley it reminds me it looks really interesting and very unique and it's very small it's like i love it it's a very small and apparently they have cocktails um according to the sign outside their window um but they have like little skeletons too it's like a weird looking place like you can go through

the photos and there's like a taxidermized like um rat with all these like war medals around it it's a weird looking place okay it reminds me a little bit of the museum of jurassic technology have you been there here in la no i've never gone it's fascinating so anyway here is a review of the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Have you been there here in LA? No, I've never gone. It's fascinating. So anyway, here is a review of the Victor Wind Museum of Curiosities by Adam, one star. If you like your Christmas parties to be bland,

then this is the place for you. If you... Sorry. That's not where I was expecting that sentence to go. That's one thing I didn't want to spoil. Apparently, you can have Christmas parties there, which sounds fantastic. Holy hell. I'm already starting planning.

The Beach Tooth Sandy Christmas Party this year is going to be at the Victor Wynn Museum. Yes. Curiosities. Also, you need to bring one poem to get in. And also, impeccable vibes only And also impeccable vibes only. Impeccable vibes only. Don't forget. All right.

If you dare open a ping pong ball based game on the premises, be most careful. Those hefty ping pong balls may just damage the artifacts. the artifacts. However, if securely attached, I'm sure the ricochet of a ping pong ball may insignificantly affect the quality and longevity of the pieces. This conflict was strongly debated. May I recommend a no ping pong balls allowed sign to be placed in the window to avoid confusion? RIP fun. End of review. How am I to have fun without this small ping pong ball at my side? So what? They shattered like a rat skeleton and we're like, well, I didn't mean to.

Well, I don't know if anything actually happened. The people there were probably like, hey, don't do this here. And the guy was went into some weird rant about it. And apparently it was strongly debated when in reality it shouldn't have been a debate at all oh this is a rule that you're putting into place because we might hurt something in your museum okay let me listen to that and not do it i just like i beg that person to find a museum in the world that will let you throw objects around while you're drunk seriously just like like allow that with no supervision i would and also i would pay you would pay what sorry let me let i want to hear exactly i don't want to answer it okay fine well i was gonna pay one

dollar for an iced tea yep well um i'm a bit of an expert when it comes to table tennis balls. As a former competitive table tennis player, I played on the George Washington University team. Yeah, I actually watched a documentary about you guys once. Yeah, actually. Wait, I think you were the one who might have made that documentary.

Oh, was I the producer director of that film? Potentially, potentially. Of that regaled piece of cinema yeah so once we get a thousand patrons we will release that oh my god there's literally a video i made of alexander's table tennis team in college and it is not on youtube so don't go finding it true it's been taken down i have a copy though now finally um i sent him a copy i refuse to watch it though because it just it's just I embarrass myself. It's it's funny. I like

it. But I was also the intramural champion GW intramural champion. I beat everybody. So former table tennis player, a table tennis ball can do can do damage. I'm just going to say that. So I am an expert. So Adam, if Alexander

slices that ball, you better watch out oh yeah you can decapitate a grown man with that thing it's happened before let alone a taxidermied rat why do you think i i left that school and fled the country to germany for six months why why do you think my my film won sundance because it was just such high stakes. Yeah. So if you are coming to our Christmas party in December in London, leave your sports equipment at home. I think that should be understood knowing us that we don't really want any sports equipment at our party. Around us. Yeah. Around us ever actually.

Yeah. So don't worry. We won ever, actually. Yeah. So don't worry. We won't break anything. Maybe rule number one should just be don't be a dick because this person's being a dick about it, too. That person does not have impeccable vibes, and I don't know why they let him in. Well, they're not invited to our Christmas party. So three days after that first email from Nick, we got another email from Nick that says, Hello, again, I found more. And they said, I'm having trouble with my Twitter app.

It's not opening. So I went to their app page to see if I needed to update it or whatever. And then I saw reviews. So there are a bunch here. I'm going to read a couple. So this first person is of the Twitter, the Twitter app on like, like on the App Store. Yeah, yes. So this is the first one. And actually, Nick added a little bit of commentary saying this is a positive one, maybe too positive. This person, I don't know, I imagine this being someone's dad brings optimism to a level no one's ever seen before. And this is a review actually from last month so like during quarantine right they said i might be angry at this positive review like dude i'm glad you can focus on something other than the anxiety that comes

from being in the middle of a pandemic on top of the anxiety that was already there but i mean good for him i'm happy he's happy so let me read this review this is is a five star review of the Twitter app by Bright Junior Addo. And this is from like two weeks ago. Excellent in bringing information to our doorstep and connecting friends as well as the human race across the globe. With this app, I get my news items very fast. Accurate news from reliable sources. I also get to chat with my friends and it's just good fun. I get connected to people I wouldn't in real life. What else could be better than this? End of review. I'm with Nick here. That was a little too positive. It's like alarmingly positive. It's Twitter. Like we're not going to pretend Twitter is all sunshine and rainbows. Well, someone is and someone can. I'm happy for them.

Someone's living in a happy delusion and I'm not going to take that away from them. No, definitely not. So this is like one step below that last one. This is a four star review also written like two weeks ago by John. Great app. Slightly toxic people on it. But if you find the right people to engage with it's not too bad reporting should also be tweaked as people violating the terms of service don't seem to be

punished often which makes it a less enjoyable place for everyone but besides these issues it's pretty great way better than instagram facebook reddit also please verify me thank you and review well i wonder if it worked i wonder if you just have to be nice to twitter and they're like okay you got me we're connecting people around the world you can have a blue check and and it's like they're holding out that last star they get if they get verified they'll throw that fifth star in there like i'm holding it hostage smart move twitter needs john's fifth star okay so this is the last one and this is kind of the other extreme this is a one star review um also written last month by redwin bad social account it does not get satisfied only by your email address after

two days of registration it will say suspicious activity in your account and will ask your phone number the problem is i don't have one i never required one hold on sorry so this person requires a twitter account but has never required a phone number this is very interesting to me i'm what a world we're living in it's red one's world and we're all just stuck in it speaking of stuck as a result i am stuck in the app. They are basically money hungry. Even Google doesn't want that much money. End of review. Wait, wait, wait, where did money come in? Nowhere.

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe because they want you to buy a phone number? Some sort of like extortion thing. Yeah. I mean, I guess if they use like apps to communicate with people where they don't have like a cell plan, they use like, I feel like most apps require phone numbers so i'm trying to think i mean i assume there are apps out there where you can like google voice kind of thing okay i'm just i'm trying i don't know why i'm trying to um yeah

okay you know what you know what you're right it doesn't make sense also nick says what they're stuck in the app do we need to send a rescue team that's my other question because what or do you mean you're stuck in the app it sounds like this person just struggles with uh technology in more ways than one and yeah probably does need rescuing i think we should send the rescue team i'm glad that nick can focus on that meanwhile we're debating whether or not this person can have a phone number and nick's like can we please save this person's life we're the worst like this is this goes above and beyond your stupid petty babble squabbles thank you squabble now um now nick is like literally sending a rescue helicopter

to red one's house and here we are it is red one's world if we don't have if we don't have redwin what do we have that's the ultimate question my vibes are gonna drop quickly if i don't have redwin oh no that was my last one thank you nick for basically nick and vicente basically uh sent me all of mine for today yeah they carried you through that one they tend to do so well you know who's carrying me into my last one who's that good old shauna shauna uh shauna says hey y'all stumbled across this kurt vonnegut wannabe when i was looking for a place to go out dancing in atlanta and i wanted to share oh boy this is gonna be good i will read their closing shana's closing comment, uh, after I read the review, but, uh, this is Will's review of MJQ concourse in Atlanta, Georgia.

Okay. Will says one star. If you seek an anthropological expedition into the sewer known as millennial hipster douchebaggery, this social gathering establishment provides ample field study upon arrival your credentials will be shown to what appears to be a former correctional inmate after exchanging local currency passage into the bowels of satan's anus await the faint smell of urine coupled with pheromones, bleach and plastic bottles, spirits engorge your senses. What appeared to be pounding tribal drums and flashes of multicolored lights guide you through catacombs of dude bros slash woo girls, hip hop playas and white shooed dandies with East German haircuts. Whoa.

Admit it. I know this. It is just too much i'm just picturing will in the middle of all of these just spinning group specific groups and like what is will who is will probably stands out quite a bit well his top hat is taller than everyone in the admittedly the sweet sweet siren of the night had me in her clutches immediately i grasped my leather satchel and with parchment notebook in hand full documentation of the surreal began post haste oh no i will stay the concourse and report back send provisions end of review okay nick you gotta turn that helicopter around someone else needs rescuing and it's everybody else in that building except will because i would like to leave from there because he fucking sucks everyone who's yeah um and it's

it's annoying because like like you look through their other reviews and they're just obnoxious like this person's just obnoxious like if you're using like millennials as an insult and he's like classifying people into groups but doesn't really have the self-awareness to realize he's more ridiculous than all those other groups combined and like fits into his own stupid mold of like being a douchebag who thinks he's better than everyone with his moleskin. So Shauna at the end just says, like, bruh, chill. And I'm like, that sums it up perfectly. Thank you. That sums it up perfectly.

Have one of those engorged plastic bottle liquors or whatever you found there seriously chill out seriously well come on yeah so that's uh that's all that's all she wrote for may edition of between you and us and it's funny because our last episode was also a between you and us i think or two episodes ago because we did the oh yeah so we've been april one super late the last day of april the last minutes of April, it was released. And a lot of people ask, when do they normally release? Because it seems random. But it's actually always been, until recently, the second, until last month, the second Monday

of the month. Yeah, that was kind of arbitrary because we just did the first one on the second Monday of the month. And we're like, let's just keep doing that. But it's such a weird date to remember. Like, we'll get two weeks in the month and go, oh, wait, has the second Monday already happened? Okay, actually, that's never happened until now.

But when it did happen, we were like, we knew this would eventually end up this way. And yeah, so we're kind of back on schedule. For now. For now. Wait till next month. But yeah, so hopefully you enjoy. If you want to potentially be featured in next month's Between You and Us episode,

send us an email at beach2sandy at gmail.com with a subject Between You and Us, with really any review you find. We get all sorts of things. And if you have not heard yours yet, you still might. We have over a thousand sitting around waiting to be read and if you are a poet looking for a muse look no further thanks everyone for listening listening we'll see you at the christmas party impeccable vibes only will's not invited unbited.