Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 19

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

We're back with Between You And Us and it's amazing, crazing, looking for the mazing! Sorry we haven't been releasing these, we've just been so busy being ourselves since we can't be sharks. Follow Alex's Twitch stream to make his hair purple: https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. look who it is it's us doing between you and us for the first time in months i'm really sorry everyone's yelling at me all the time about it it's terrible right actually there's maybe four people who want wanted it but christina the way we're getting emails still for Between You and Us, please. Y'all are wonderful sending us so much content for these episodes, even though we're not doing them.

Thank you. Thank you. We're doing them now. We're back. We're doing them now. We're not... We never stopped doing them. We just forgot and paused doing them.

Okay. I wouldn't say forgot's the right word. Okay. forgot and paused doing them okay i wouldn't say forgot's the right word okay anxiously in the back of my head i knew all along that people were expecting them and the whole time i'm just like we're not doing it this month are we most things that i forget i'm there anxiously also in the back of my mind but um it's just the word i use well we're here for you today with a between you and us uh for the last month of 2020, I guess. And for those who don't know, because we haven't done these in a while, this is where we read

emails. Sorry, we read reviews that you sent in to us via email of other people that you found. And for future reference, if you want to send us an email, send one to beach2sandy at gmail.com with the Between You and Us in the subject. And we have literally thousands so no promises we'll get you on there but you never know i'm gonna i'm gonna guarantee it okay she'll guarantee it guarantee it i won't let that i won't i won't let that happen i am just gonna say um today might be your lucky day all right well who wants to go start sure me okay this first one i have is from mindy uh this was sent in

i love saying this uh july 19th 2019 oh year and a half ago um so mindy might not be listening we say that every time uh mindy says hello wonderful people i love your podcast so much my mom and i recently started listening to it. Precious. And you two constantly have us bursting out laughing. Oh, how sweet. So here's one. This is a nice start.

A nice start. This is of a Dollar Tree in Colonial Heights, Virginia. This is by Jay. Five stars. Wow, chow. Look at me now. I've upgraded in life to full capacity. This Dollar Tree has it all. Food, candy, hygiene products, clothes, and best of all, wait for it, toys!

Anyways, I'm happy to have found this Dollar Tree. Let me tell you something about this place that literally no one knows everything is a dollar or less and wow is that amazing crazing looking for the amazing great staff great prices love this dollar tree end of review this has really intense ben the pen vibes ben the ben yes uh like combined with kimmy schmidt i just got out of a bunker and I haven't seen you know a lollipop in 20 years and like oh and elf too oh gosh it's a little bit of everything yes for sure wow amazing crazy that's um that is a nice start a very comforting start amazing crazy looking for the amazing yeah I figured I'd start off with a nice five star to uh ease us into any kind of nonsense we get into buff or whatever i'm about to say exactly all right well i have this email from ada and the subject is thanksgiving reviews thought you should know that's a little glimpse into this content okay so ada says um so hi guys

i was taking a leaf out of christine's book and looking at reviews on common sense media i was looking at the charlie brown thanksgiving thing and found this more sexy stuff this is a child's a series of reviews by a child on commonsensemedia.org yes our favorite movie review website this is written by teen 14 years old three stars of charlie's uh charlie's not chocolate factory charlie brown thanksgiving there is much throwing of objects and use of mean words beware parents there are several dot dot dot romantic relationships you know what i mean oh no for a few that's making it so much worse if you have to say you know what i mean that just now i don't i did and then i don't this title contains positive messages, positive role models, sexy stuff. Oh, my God.

Okay. So then Ada says, I was intrigued that at the beginning of their username, it said Ada, which is my name. She heard pronouns. So I clicked on the profile and saw that they had reviewed several movies. So there are two more here that I'm going to read for you. She sent a few here. Here is another review by Ada Teen, 14 years old. This is a review of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mickey's Monster Musical. Four stars.

Well, Mickey and Minnie do weird stuff. Also, I've never seen this movie. But I've seen the other Mickey Mouse clubhouses and they're really weird. IDK? Help. Please help me figure out what to do. You know what I mean. Okay, if it's anything like your last review, I really, really can't help you with that.

The more details she provides, the less I know what she means. So true. This title contains positive messages positive role models sexy stuff and okay consumerism oh ada's just throwing sexy stuff everywhere i think ada's at that point in life where you just see sexy stuff everywhere oh my god yeah 14 years old all right now i'm gonna read one more this is a review of the lovely uh mike ruffalo flick 13 going on 30 one of my favorites you're gonna say lovely bones i was like oh no not that um i don't know if ada would know what to do with herself okay this is a four-star review by ada

warning this is a really sexy movie mark ruffalo i mean yeah okay listen there are lots of stuff to look out for parents first of all let me talk about the sex there is a naked dude at this one part and then he takes off his pants later it's shown underwear and stuff and talks about things inappropriate for kids there is a lot of kissing. Gross! Yuck! There are tons of bars in it.

And there is verbal bullying! Plus, it talks about the six chicks. And there is showing of the stomach. You may want to talk to your kids before watching this about people taking showers. You know what I mean. Oh my god stop stop saying it about people taking showers you know what i mean this file this title contains sexy stuff drinking drugs and smoking language and violence and scariness it's so much worse if you say you

know it is so so maybe that's the point maybe she really is trying to strike fear into these parents i'll have to say though that is i'm currently watching married at first sight for the first time ever like the season nine the ones that's on that's on netflix that is exactly how i would describe it that whole kissing thing like i'veflix that is exactly how i would describe it that whole kissing thing like i've watched and i've been i've said gross out loud and because how gross and weird it is the way they present it um but anyway thank you ada i think your namesake is kind of a genius so i appreciate you finding those for me yeah thank you to both your you adas you both are lovely i love that

that was nice i would love to see that kid review um more stuff yes i did i agree with that i agree with that as uncomfortable as it made me um all righty also wait is 13 growing on 30 like a kid's movie i'd never thought of it that way is it really it's like a like a preteen movie. Like, OK, I don't know. Not for kids, I guess, but like for teenagers. Yeah. Yeah. So it makes sense that they would review it. I don't know if I've ever seen it.

That's why. Oh, my God. That's one of the few movies I've seen, like, at least five times. Then I probably have and blocked it out of my memory. OK. So here this next one, this for Maria Sheher, who says, hey, she for sibs. Sorry. Hey, she for sisters I had an awful experience at the Wendy's in my neighborhood and checked out the Google reviews to see if I was alone in my

Disappointment, so I'm gonna read a couple of these. So here's the first one one star by petunia Horrible customer service We went to sit down to enjoy our meal Horrible customer service. We went to sit down to enjoy our meal, which prompted the employee who took our order to approach our table and ask us to leave, since they were closing in 10 minutes. No mention of this while we were placing our order inside. No apology, just unmannered, callous impropriety.

Avoid this place like the plague, if that is how concerned they are about the customer experience and there is no telling what they do to the food. End of review. Oh my god! Are you okay? You look worn out after that. Right? That was a lot. All for you ordering food

ten minutes before. Just because you did it inside doesn't mean that they... What? get over yourself okay they have lives too they're human beings and they would like to not have to wait around for you that word impropriety is very um i don't like it because it reminds me of um the proprietor from the comic book episode oh gosh yes the zine one yes it's like a lowly proprietor oh goodness yeah that's probably who this is honestly um so let me read another one this is the one that um this is the one this is the one this is by larry two stars

something was off weird but there was no explanation this location in my one and only experience cannot be called fast food i ordered one of their combos nothing customized and it took a while ice had to be requested i'm guessing coke modern machine was broken to dispense ice cashier was friendly and professional something felt somber about the location or moment. Like not all their staff was in place or they are understaffed. It was not very clean. Not my regular Wendy's experience at all. All others are somewhat clean and quick and communicative if they have something going on. Food was perfect as usual, though.

I'll try it again some other time. End of review. Oh my god. I'm not breathing. Was that chapter five of The Lovely Bones? I don't... Yes. Something felt off in the air. I thought this was some weird detective novel and then it got normal and then it got weird again and then it got normal at the end.

I don't know like a crime novel on audible right now and it has the exact same ring of like the air felt somber you know yes it's a wendy's friend come on it's a wendy's uh and maria said i'm especially haunted by uh that review um i agree here is a a redemption of this wendy's haunting. It is. Here is a redemption of this Wendy's. Great. This is by Lily. Four stars. The food came fresh and the people made me feel warmth. End of review.

Ignore that guy who says a cold chill pass through the air. Yes. Oh my god. I feel like that guy was sitting at one of the booths like trying to write you know the next detective novel as you said he was probably doing it by candlelight which is the warmth after they closed he hid in the bathroom so here's the thing that's fun for me is that i put things in my between you and us folder over like months at a time and usually we use them but we haven't done one in so long that a lot of these

i don't remember so that's fun uh this is one from blair i just got to trust my past instincts i guess and blair says someone has to someone someone has to it's really difficult for me but um so blair says they discovered our podcast on pocket casts which is also what i used or i use for podcasts but apparently we were in the discover section so that's exciting um so there's this restaurant uh wendy. Am I supposed to be guessing? What? What restaurant? Wendy's.

Outback Steakhouse. Close. Farmer Boy Restaurant. Oh, Farmer's Boy. You don't know that one? Farmer Boy? That's a chain. No.

But it's like, I think it's Farmer's, Farmer. It's called Farmer Boy in Akron, Ohio. Farmer Boys. Farmer Boys? No. Is that not the chain? Farmer Boy. I don't know. Farmer Boys? Farmer Boys? No. Is that not the chain? Farmer Boy. I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

There's a chain called Farmer Boys. Okay. Okay, this is definitely not part of the chain. I'm sorry. You're right. Okay. Is there actually a chain? Yeah, Farmer Boys.

Okay, if you say that one more time, I swear to God. Okay, so Blair sent in this two-star review of Farmer Boy Restaurant in Akron by Carlos. Two stars. If you're hoping to enjoy world-class food in an ordinary-looking restaurant south of Akron, Ohio, boy, did you take a wrong turn somewhere. I did not know where that was going. I didn't either because I haven't read any of the comments. Because no one would have that expectation.

Right. Google the phrase, Barberton Chicken, chicken the restaurants are nearby and go there instead farmer boys aimed squarely at the denny's golden corral crowd seniors living in the back no wonder you knew about this place farmer boys aimed squarely at the denny's golden corral crowd seniors living in the backwoods whose tastes run to meat and potatoes and lots of them it's a casual sit-down restaurant that very large meals. They aim for mediocre diner quality and usually get there. It's fairly easy to get a decent meal of food here if you don't ask the kitchen to stretch. Breakfasts are fine, although your bacon will be fatty and often under or overcooked, but the Waffle House offers better. Sandwiches are fine as long as you don't mind frozen burgers and chicken

patties. Dinner specials like Swiss steak, pork steak pork chops roast turkey the stuff you'd expect are blandly spiced but otherwise decently made order the euro or chicken marsala and you deserve what you get the desserts which are made locally are superb usually i don't have room because the portions are huge service is really slow because it's usually packed that sinks the all you can eat fish fry because you'll be lucky to have five pieces before everyone else is done. If you're wondering why I reviewed it, it's because it's Grandma's favorite restaurant.

She gets worked up about stuff like corned beef hash, a bread basket, or a tuna melt with crisp french fries. Thank you for letting me vent. Thank God she doesn't have internet access because this review might kill her. Okay, I weirdly love that one i know it felt like like he was uh what do you call it it's cathartic for him yes yes yes agreed and honestly

it sounds like farmer boy is exactly as you'd expect just like square in the middle of middle ohio or sorry middle america like they know what they're doing they know their audience exactly the fact that they sell chicken marsala is slightly questionable but who knows that is true but everything else like the review was very okay i know exactly what kind of place this is it makes sense makes a lot of sense and i love i love the reviewer's grandmother. That's for sure. I do too. She seems like a hoot. And doesn't have internet access. Oh, man. Okay. My next one.

This is from Nicole, who was looking for a three-in-one coffee packet. So is that like... What is that? I don't even know what that is. The creamer. Oh, where it has like a stirrer and a creamer. Like in a hotel? I probably should have looked it up um shouldn't

i have it sounds okay i feel like we're learning something and i probably should have learned this ahead of time but i'm gonna tell you what this is okay once i figure it out okay okay forget about your creamer and sugar simply mix the pre-mixed three-in-one coffee powder with hot water. You get to enjoy this yummy coffee in as little as 30 seconds. What? So basically it's like, yeah, so I was right in what I thought it was. It's coffee, sugar, and creamer all in one packet. Oh, that's fun. Which seems like I'm surprised that that exists.

Technology nowadays, am I right? Am I right? This is a three-star reviews of the Copico Blanca 3-in-1 Creamy Coffee Mix 10 sachets. Sashays? What the fuck? Oh, I don't know how to say that word. Damn it. We're struggling today.

Times 30 grams. Okay. So here we go. Three stars. Sashays. Verified purchase. Sorry. I don't know.

Sashay away. But just sashay. It's just such a fun way way to say it it is sashay it probably is it's just that's what it's telling me i'm sure you're right thinking like satchel sashay okay oh i knew a guy named satchel one time oh he lived on my floor in college he didn't know how to close one eye at a time so it was hard for him because he was in rot seat is that is that something that gets you kicked out well he also didn't know how to swim so he had to take a lot of extra tutoring on the side he got tutored to swim and to blink and to wink one eye i mean so he could look into like a uh a target or whatever oh you're not supposed to

close one eye when you look into a scope like a rifle scope well i don't know why he was supposed to do it maybe to swim maybe he didn't know how to close his eyes at all i don't know but as an ohioan my oh sorry my psychiatrist was like okay this is sounds very this sounds very alarming please don't be alarmed i am fine but my psychiatrist asked me if i've shot a gun before. What? I can't believe I just said that. Why? And I was like, I'm from Ohio. I have shot a gun before.

I've never shot a gun. I didn't know you shot a gun. Christina, I've shot many guns. What? I had friends in Kentucky. Of course I've shot guns. I live in Kentucky. I've never shot a gun. I went down to Kentucky and shot guns i live in kentucky i've never shot a gun i went down to

kentucky and shot guns sometimes just for fun and then uh in austria i knew you did that in austria yeah remember like a dragon off like a sniper it was a whole thing oh my god i don't know did you have to close one eye at an ar-15 no but i got a bullseye no wonder you did no wonder you know about closing your eyes you should tell sashay i mean. I mean, Satchel, my friend. Where was I? I'm sorry. I don't know. Let's read a review of this three-in-one creamy coffee mix.

Yes. It is sweet and creamy. I like it so much. Just it's kind of hard to drink every day. It makes me tired of this coffee, but I want it sometimes. End of review. Okay. hard to drink every day it makes me tired of this coffee but i want it sometimes and the review okay i don't know why i thought this was so weirdly funny like three star review i want it sometimes like people who think some everyone needs to hear their every thought and word in their head it's like when we were little and you would get in the car and go i have a story and

mom and i would go oh god and then you would just talk and talk and talk in circles and squares and rhombuses. And we'd be like, what is he getting at? His therapist wants him to shoot a gun? What? How did we get to this point? Yeah, we were actually going on a date this weekend to the shooting range. Oh, my God. Have you ever shot a gun before?

Wink. Oh, my God. And then I know that's how I learned it. I winked at her and she was like, no, no, no. Like, you don't actually close an eye. Oh my god. I'm kidding. Coronavirus, I'm not going on a date to a shooting range this weekend, I promise.

You're going on a date to Golden Corral. If you want COVID, that's the way to get it. Yeah, that's true. Ew. Anyway, I'm done with that one okay so i have one here from maddie schieffer wait yeah no maddie who says you may be wondering about the subject well i'm petitioning to be your adoptive sister niece or one of your daughters okay it's just her adoptive niece okay how would that work so does adopted sister niece i don't know

i mean maybe francisco would have to adopt her francisco would adopt her yeah that makes sense uh and that's one of the reasons oh you can choose and that's one of the reasons you should adopt me i'm very considerate another reason you should adopt me is that i think you're so funny and will laugh at all your jokes i I'm your own personal hype woman. I'm also an Enneagram, too. Me, too. Okay. Anyway.

I'm convinced. We can talk about this later, but I'm convinced. Yeah, I'm convinced. We'll be calling you. I won't be because I have phone anxiety, but Alexander will. As to further show that I would make a good Schieffer edition, I have, in fact, stumbled upon an amazing review of a cafe in my hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan. This is a review of Paris Cafe. Paris Cafe and desserts. What? What are they talking? That's in France. Is that not the most Michigan thing ever? Remember that review about bagels in Michigan?

Unfortunately. Sometimes I think about that. No, that's also a very Ohio thing ohio has fucking names of cities that are just from every other country yeah indiana does that too it's a must be a midwest thing like there's like london kentucky there's like they all have these names i love how we say ohio indiana michigan and the first city is london kentucky in my head it's all the same. Midwest. Okay. This is a review of Paris Cafe and Desserts. It's a two-star review by Putin Words. Oh, dear.

It's called Sad Decline. When this place opened, it was great, but every year it's gotten worse and worse. They screw up orders, it's dirty, and the food, save the desserts, is a waste of your time. They screw up orders, it's dirty, and the food, save the desserts, is a waste of your time. The Swiss cheese is not really Swiss cheese, but it's that fake no-hole cheese. I can't go back. I struggled between one and two stars, but I figured it could be worse. End of review.

Wait, fake no-hole cheese, so like more cheese than what you wanted? I guess, right? I kind of misread it at first. I thought I said it's a fake kind with holes in it. I think he means the opposite, right? Yeah, I don't know. Oh my God. What?

Okay, sorry. Let me read the last paragraph of Maddie's email. It says, I have in fact been to this cafe. It has amazing desserts and their food is great. Clearly, I've not been victimized by that fake no whole cheese like putin words has i generally make it a rule not to take advice by people whose usernames include the name of political leaders who are friends with trump but i mean the swiss cheese had no holes to be clear i am being sarcastic a classic schieffer trait anyway please consider this my application to be part of your family yours maddie schieffer and then it says p.s i am now realizing that maybe that guy's username was put

in words not put in words oh and i also thought it was christina i just assumed it was like hi or underscore something yeah yeah something like that wow i was like wow you two are meant for each yeah you two are meant for each other after this wow that's embarrassing well maddie where are your brains at we clearly have the same mind so welcome to the family if that person happens to be listen listen to our show might be screaming no it's not i swear what the heck i was like wow what an aggressive username. Yeah, you and Maddie are meant for each other. So I have one more.

Okay. This was sent in by Katie, who said, hello, Schieffer. And they spelled it many different ways at the end, however you spell it, Sibs. And the first way that they spelled it was correct. So good job. My fiance and I love your podcast. You listen to it at work because of my raving recommendation of you guys. Between furnishing a new apartment and wedding planning,

we've read a lot of reviews. Here are two of my faves. So this is a review. It doesn't have the exact product, but based on the review, it seems to be like a mattress protector. Okay. And I decided to use this

because it wouldn't be a Between You and Us episode if I didn't make everyone uncomfortable. Oh God, really? And it's weirdly relevant unfortunately sorry unfortunately relevant to the common sense media reviews that you read earlier no this is a one-star review titled not for adult use oh no verified purchase size queen i can't with this what did i do why do you do this but you see i'm really glad i picked this when you did that common sense media one it is so fucking eerie okay here we go okay i hate you my wife's a bit of a squirter if you know what i mean you know what i mean this is the opposite of the other one. This is that person's parent.

You also didn't have to say if you know what I mean, but it's so like, what else could you mean? Yikes. Yeah, there's no vagueness to that comment whatsoever. Exactly. You're not being subtle and then you throw that in there. Oh, God. Okay. So let me read that again.

No. Starting from the beginning. My wife's a bit of a squirter, if you know what I mean. So we bought this to protect our brand new mattress. After two weeks, we decided to wash the sheets. Only to find our mattress looked like it had gone through 1945 Berlin. It was horrible. This product did nothing to protect the mattress save an extra layer of cloth

to be soaked. 10 out of 10 would not recommend. Very bad investment. Terrible product. End of review. 129 people found this helpful. Oh no! It won't let me hit the helpful button. Weird. Oh, it's just a screenshot.

You know what I mean. Oh, that's horrible. Thanks for that. You're welcome. You know what I mean. Oh, that's horrible. Thanks for that. You're welcome. Everybody. You're welcome, everyone. Like I said, it wouldn't be between you and us without something like that. But seriously, thank you, Katie and your fiance.

And good luck with your new apartment and wedding planning. Okay, good. Oh, my God. You paused for a long time. Wait, did I not mention that Katie's the one who, like, wrote the review? Stop. I'm kidding. It was actually just a post-it note.

She sent, she mailed you. Just, no, just letting, telling me a story, you know. Just like, just a little note, just for me. That was when we were on our date at the Golden Corral. I asked how our weekend went. Okay, this is a review sent in by, I believe, Rochelle, I think is how you say it. And it says, hey there, while I was browsing shirts for Pride, I came across this beauty. I know descriptions aren't technically reviews, but holy guacamole, you need to tag your bruce lee fans for this one and don't forget to

thank a farmer while you're at it so this is uh you know how i love descriptions of things that don't make sense on the internet yes and aren't really reviews well this is from t-shirt classic dot com and it um i'll show it to you it's a rainbow kind of long sleeve shirt that says love wins can you see it i see it okay and this was sent in may of 2020 um so i'm just gonna say it's pride month every month on this show yes since i clearly didn't read it until now okay this is the description of this lovely t-shirt on t-shirt classic.com you need to get this tag someone that is a bruce lee fan and needs this shirt watercolor lgbt love wins rainbow paint shirt you will always be comfortable but still

stylish buy now limited quantities if you are an active person and love motorcycles this is a very attractive product would you be able to bring me the tank top to the hope run that morning i don't make it to nevada that often what is going on i'm nervous don't read this aloud there's something something's gonna happen bad things are gonna happen it's a i'm a sleeper agent and um that's the end of the sentence yep no joining fee this month come on down and check us. My martial arts home with my cool t-shirts. The next time you slip into that comfy cotton shirt or eat delicious farm fresh food, thank a farmer. I have my first girly flower shirt. Love it. Oh my God, this made me cry.

Lovely children to give gifts the way they did. Oh, now it sounds like it's reading someone's phone conversations and like transcribing them. This is scary, Chrissy. Something scary is happening. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. It's like the AI pulled this from somewhere. Yeah.

Ew. Yeah. Oh, my God. This made me cry. Lovely children to give gifts the way they did. I hope I'm a few more years off my children knowing the truth. Oh. I hadn't read that far before oh my god what the fuck

okay okay this gets even weirder i hope i'm a few more years off my children knowing the truth keep them children i can't hide the presents my girls are almost five and almost six so i've told them mommy buys them and sends them to santa some are for them and some go to the kitties that don't have anything they love this and talk about it we already do the reverse calendar for our local food bank you can see more what did that person just say that they tell their children that they buy gifts to send to santa claus who then gives them back and to other kids so basically this this parent is saying oh yeah i'm responsible for all the needy children getting toys i love that she's like my children love that about me it's like my children think i am the most selfless person in the world wow that's a really good point

anyway we already do the reverse calendar for our local food bank. You can see more about this product at t-shirtclassic.com. End of product. I'm convinced that this person who sent this in, who was it? I think it's pronounced Rochelle. It's like Rachel with an S. Rochelle? I'm convinced that they work for t-shirtclassic.com and this is some sort of Oh, no. guerrilla marketing campaign.

Oh, no. I'm just kidding i'm kidding that is something and alarming weirdly alarming it feels like i just walked into a wendy's you know like things are just it's really unsettling yeah yeah it it's so weird because it started off like kind of on brand like it was like well no it did not christina what was the first line bruce lee tag someone that's a bruce lee fan okay it did not at all okay but it says you went in and out it says you will always be comfortable and stylish if you are an active person and love motorcycles yeah the motorcycle bit there's a bit for everything i don't make it to nevada that often what like i wonder okay i don't know like if these

some sketchy websites might pull designs from elsewhere right and steal them and then try to sell them and i'm wondering if they grabbed some sort of description but it like got messed up and like just pulled so much and pulled the wrong thing auto populated i don't know yeah yeah i'm like wondering how that works but it sounds like a phone like a one-sided phone conversation definitely especially the thing about the kids not finding out like what the fuck yeah that is creepy beyond all belief yeah there's some there's some creepy stuff in here this is like dan brown level oh weird because i went to t-shirt classic.com and it's a picture of the Pope upside down. I'm trying to think of what Dan Brown is about.

I haven't read it in a long time. He's about the Pope. That's for sure. Only upside down, though. OK, I went to t-shirtclassic.com. Oh, my God. Alexander, this whole website is like this. There's something scary in here. Blood.

What? Blood inside me holiday in covid 19 2020 i can't stay at home shirt oh my god what as protests swell around blood inside me holiday in covid 19 2020 i can't stay at home shirt the world in the wake of death at the hands of many christina what is happening the what i'm scared fashion is reckoning with its own role in systemic racism while many brands have issued instagram statements pledged to evaluate their own companies and shared educational resources there's much more work yet to be done wait what well this grateful sloth

reindeer christmas shirt is all about the stealers and which players they drafted this year so really yeah it's definitely pulling from some sort of site yeah like it's like different sites and probably for keywords greeks for trump oh my god what is right next to a shirt that says grab him by the ballot oh my they've got a little everything of everything all i need is insulin and my cat christina well i found my new shirt what happens at the farm stays at the farm oh no oh christina this is insane christina this is scary christina i'm so nervous listen to this wheeling headlights raked aisles of pines through which the road serpentined at a sharp grade upward out at last into a hilltop clearing where a rambling structure sat of undressed logs with

deep verandas and windows of ingratiating warmth do you know what shirt that's for what greeks for trump i i am so confused christina it's literally like i googled part of that phrase and it's just a bunch of t-shirt companies the lone wolf returns it's from a book by lewis joseph vance what where are they published in 2019 wait the lone wolf returns christina it's literally just pulling keywords from a random book ew that's from a 1923 novel it just grabbed random words and like phrases and things for keywords most likely okay well here you go this is a t-shirt called yeah yeah i've got ocd old cranky and dangerous no oh my god uh come to the dark side okay well wow i'm good i'm gonna suggest no one buy anything from this site i'm just i'm putting that out there so y'all don't think this is some weird don't worry the

humor hasn't left among their designs you'll find a bulldog holding a red bra or a snake crushing a train car it's all about power and a winning attitude excuse me that's the ocd old cranky oh my god by the way it's a picture of a cat so i don't really get it but um i'm into it i'm really into it are you uh-huh yeah this is so fucking weird i'm so sketched out here this is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me guys i clicked about us to look at their about us i a pop-up came up that said someone in ekwok alaska usa purchased a mickey middle finger mask north carolina tar heels shirt oh no it says all products are proudly printed in the usa in the united states and their support number is a norway number oh great that's not sketchy at all on their main bar at the top it says holiday but holiday is spelled wrong oh good well here's the shirt

for you always this is what i want you to remember as my closing when i die these are going to be my last words always be yourself unless you can be a shark that's it that's the shirt you know who i think would like this tim no the the grandma who likes farmer boy oh yes i think she's gonna have a lot of money there was one called like welcome to today's specials low on patience and lots of coffee that really does sound like a catalog for grandmas yeah there's one that says and there's a witch on it and it says assuming i'm just an old lady was your first mistake oh god i don't know what the next mistake was but alexander yeah this complete scheme is not to always be yourself unless you can be a

shark shirt be explained by the existence of a strong animosity toward the jews oh chris they need to work on where they're pulling these things from animosity between racial groups expressed itself in bloody riots but the form the conflict took the high degree of religious and national enthusiasm which it evoked and the powerful aid that enthusiasm gave to the propaganda which was preparing itself were directly consequent upon the character of antiochus the god manifest that's the um always be yourself unless you can be a shark shirt christina thank a farmer thank a farmer everyone um okay rachel i don't know what you've done but it's not good yeah but that took a turn also tell me if i'm pronouncing your name correctly i hope so we got lost in that one that was a lot i think i need a nap that was horrible i have a headache

that was a lot yeah it was my stomach hurts mine too i hope everyone who's listening is doing okay this is what you get you they asked for it they've been bothering us in the nicest way yeah they've been bothering us for more between you and us like where are those every show did you promised us why aren't you living up to our expectations that you you set and it's your fault well here you go well it's my favorite t-shirt site puts it let me pour you a tall glass of get over it oh and here's a straw too so you can suck it up dragon shirt that's how i feel same same same oh my god alexander this one literally says alexander the first line of this i'm not kidding says it's one of the dumbest inside jokes i've ever seen in a podcast it shows how truly bad the fan base for this

podcast can be with how they keep pushing it even now after over a month it's not funny it's not something i want as a fan of the podcast what uh oh my god this is so fucking weird y'all this is freaky i was like are they listening uncomfortable i mean i'm sure they're listening at this point but it's just super sketchy so yeah no one buy the shit no don't buy it this is scaring me anyway well how are we all all right let's go to bed i'm i'm done all right thanks everyone hope you enjoyed uh the first one back in a while we're a little rusty if you can't tell oh my god um but yeah we'll have more of this so if you want to submit your own send us an email beach juice sandy at gmail.com and please put between you and us in the subject thank you very much and if you've already sent one without it in

the subject no need to resend all right Well, we'll see you next time. See you maybe six months. And as always, as I always say on this show, always be yourself unless you can be a shark. Be a shark. Bye.