Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 23

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

In our humble but honorable opinions, it's about time ski resorts start serving nachos. PERIDOT. Check out our new poster! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Follow us on TikTok! tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. hello welcome to between you and us this is our monthly bonus episode where we read reviews that you sent in that you found on the internet that's right we have a few here for you today that i've saved over the last three years or however long we've been doing what i don't know they're in here you've been emailing you before we even started the show with their

that's how excited they are to be on the episode that's amazing so you have i think one more than me so why don't you start sounds good oh i also want to add we put our bonus episode uh up oh yeah sometime this week on patreon and and it is an Easter episode. So go check that out if you are a patron. Please do. And then, okay, and here we go. This is from Xtina, is how they signed it, Christina, who says, I was just doing my usual scrolling through Twitter, and I ran across this review, and I truly think it needs to be covered.

This is a five-star review of a bathing suit from J. Crew. And it says, yes, I recommend this product. I'm not going to read the subject because it gives away what happens, but here we go. I loved this bathing suit from the moment I tried it on. Super comfortable and very flattering. But a recent experience took my appreciation to a new level i was swimming off the coast of south carolina when i had an unexpected visitor take a swipe at my lower back oh no a shark despite leaving a huge bruise and red teeth marks on my skin the bathing suit escaped unscathed 10 out of 10 would recommend. They literally included a photo of where there was like a bite mark.

Alexander, this is worse than that person who bragged about their eyeliner not smearing in a car accident. Oh, my God. I forgot about that one. And also posted a photo from the intensive care unit. Can I see the photo? If you'd like, let me walk over to you now that we're in the same room. Oh, right. One moment.

Okay. It's really small. That's why I have to come close. Oh god what's in our ow that looks really freaking painful i thought it was gonna be like a scratch no no that's an open wound it's i don't know you're not putting that on the internet no no god no no one's seeing this um that's at least not from us you know i don't want to be the one that, it's like the bearer of bad news, but the bearer of shark wound photos. That's not what I want to be. Was this review helpful?

342 people said yes. 17 said no. I don't know what's wrong with those 17 people, but. I mean, they're not looking for, yes, a bathing suit to withstand the elements. They're looking for something flattering. That's the thing. It's all of the above. Okay.

Fair point. It is is seems to draw attention from some unsavory characters which is actually a good point something i don't think i would really want to swim in an ocean with yeah maybe maybe making it like blood i actually have like the creepy chill is just thinking about like you're going for a nice little swim on vacation and a freaking shark just bites i don't like the ocean i don't either there's a reason that the ocean is what like 80 undiscovered or something because nobody wants to be in there that's what i heard i you know what nobody wants to be in there that's what i heard too

yeah um so stop going in there okay this is a review i actually that's why i made a face at you at first because i also have a bathing suit review. It's my first review. Yeah. You seemed really attentive for that one. Because I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh. But this is from Jessica X.

And Jessica says, this podcast made them feel such shame about their Yelp reviews that they went back and deleted all of them. And they're only leaving positive reviews from now on, which is very kind. So here's a review of a swimsuit from, I don't know how to say it, Romwe or Romwe. Francisca says Romwe.

Listen to the Gen X or what's her? Gen Z. God, Gen X. Aren't we Gen X? No, Gen X is older than us. Oh, that's the one above us gen z nobody talks about gen x anymore huh not really they're not too relevant right now i suppose what they listen like nirvana or something i honestly you know what you probably summed it up but like they were maybe the grunge they were like the cool kids when we were little they're

in their like 30s now i don't freaking know i think 40s probably since i'm almost 30 gen xers yeah most of them are in their 40s i would say gen x currently oh you're right 41 to 56 my bad yeah late 20s to what the hell is gen y gen y is us i don't know. So this is Romwe. Five stars by Kay. Love a swimsuit. Cute. One day it was a cold winter morning and my friends texted me, OMG, I found this swimsuit and it's so cute. I was like, ew, what the frick is that?

She goes, style. I said, sure, sister. I had very low hopes. My friend really loved it. She said, we're making a big order from Romwe. I was like, does she need to go to mental doctor doctor so after i talked to her about a mental doctor what no like it seriously okay i thought it was just like a talkspace.com but it's like yeah by the way this episode is sponsored by better help better help doc i don't even know

okay it's not it's not it's not it is not i'm just kidding bent mental doctor so after i talked to her about a mental doctor she decided not to go and get the swimsuit. So I was, okay, whatever. And we order it and it came in the mail one and one half week, six hours, 21 minutes and 53 seconds early. I was go off Romwe. When I opened the bag, I was those bottoms look like granny bottoms. No hate to grannies.

Rock those booties. When I tried it in for my friend, I was like, wait a darn minute. Is this cute? In my Texas accent. I'm not from Texas. Don't try to come find where I live. No hate to grannies. Rock those booties. When I tried it in for my friend, I was like, wait a darn minute. Is this cute? In my Texas accent. I'm not from Texas. Don't try to come find where I live. Wait, I'm not from Texas.

Don't try to come find I live. After that, I was, oop, this is cute. And then my friends tried it on and she loved it. But the buttons were a little big. Her butt is a little bit flat in that department. But go off, sis. Peridot. Peridot.

Is that how I correct it? peridot peridot is that how i correct it um so overall fit uh true to size helpful found helpful by 11 people and jessica wrote ps yes i bought the swimsuit so this is like this is a satirical comment of a gen z or it sounds i'm certain i'm not saying it actually is but that's what it sounds like yeah it's spelling period period period how did i say it period period wrong peridot is really excellent stuff um so that's that i'm not from texas don't come find me uh i kind of hate that yeah it's it's i did not like that. I kind of did. I love that she just insulted everyone and then was like, but go off, sis. Embrace that you have no butt at all.

And I'm telling the internet about it. Oh, my God. And I still don't know. After all that, I have no idea what the conclusion was. Wait, how many? Was it stars? Oh, it was five stars. I would not have guessed that.

Well, yeah, because. But I got tripped up a lot. There are a lot of times where I was like, I cannot tell if this is a good thing or not. There's actually a lot of editing going into this because I had to reread many sentences that forgot words. Yeah. You gave them too much credit. I did. By throwing in words that weren't actually there that should have been there.

Yeah, by auto-correcting their own sentences. I'm just going to say it. I know we talked about this being Kurt Cobain or whatever. I don't think this person's Gen X. No, they're not. They're certainly not. Something tells me they're not. Something tells me they're younger, whatever the younger than Gen Z is.

Like the one after Gen Z. Well, thank you for that. Thanks, Jessica. Thanks, Jessica. This one is from michelle and all it's all michelle says is i saw this in a wedding group i'm in first of all this is petty af second of all i can't believe she still gave it four stars here's a four-star review of a dress here we go i really love this dress i got it for my boyfriend's daughter's wedding.

Fits great. I am 4'11", so it was a little longer than I wanted. Easy hem job. But I got the dress and the seam runs right down the middle of the skirt. So some of the flowers were cut off. I understand that it is a full skirt, but it bothered my subconscious. So I returned it, hoping it was just a flaw. I love the dress, so I ordered two more smalls,

just in case. Both had the seam down the middle. Took the one that looked the best to get hemmed. Two days before the wedding, my boyfriend shows his daughter a pic of the dress, and she said I couldn't wear it. Too much white. I am 47 years old,

dating this man for six months, and the dress is at the Taylor's. Can't return it now, but wasn't gonna because I love it. So I switched to an old dress I had in my closet for over 10 years. It's super pale yellow and shows a lot of my uppers. Hashtag petty. End of review. Is there a photo?

Oh, come on. Yep. That is a white dress. I was waiting to do the reveal without telling you one way or another. Sure enough. That dress is white AF. You've been dating this man for six months. His daughter's getting married.

She's nice enough to include you despite only dating him for six months. And you have the audacity to try to wear a white dress. It has flowers on it that are pink, but it is a white dress that happens to have flowers on it. Also, I have three versions of the same dress just in case. Yeah, that I was like, hopefully you can explain this because it seemed unnecessary and weird. I was like, I don't know.

Am I missing something here? That's good stuff, man. man yeah and then going with a super pale yellow like it seems very intentionally like i'm gonna be close to white but they can't say it's white because it's technically a super pale yellow maybe she really is just trying to be an asshole i mean sounds like it does sound like it wait well um that's rude i was gonna say well it seems like a fine line. That's not a fine line. That's a white dress. No.

Okay. Well, I have an email here from Jacob. He says, he, him. Thank you, Jacob. And he says he was looking at the song BB Talk by Miley Cyrus and found this review. I do not know that song. I don't either. Because I am not cool.

This is a comment by Mrs. C from home. This was the most disturbing thing I've seen in lately. They're trying to get you to correlate babies and sex. I am disgusted and insulted by this kind of capital F filth. When is there going to be a line in simple right and wrong? Why does this even have to be explained? In my humble but honorable opinion. No.

End of comment. No. Mrs. C from home, gotta respect it. That is not your choice to make. You cannot just decide that your opinion is honorable. I'm shocked that she didn't write I-M-H-B-H-O because I feel like that would have really thrown me off. I would have had to Google it. Yeah, and nothing would have come up,

which is why they had to spell it out. I guess so. Because that is a ridiculous thing to say. Their own tagline. Now I want to listen to this song. Well, okay, that's creepy to say maybe, but I'm like, just because I'm curious how the hell they came up with that idea. I guess so. How did you not?

What? If I read that that review i'd be like what is this song and i'd turn it on just to see what it sounds yeah i mean jacob clearly was into it so yeah but what about you why didn't you read listen to it i don't know not a fan of miley i'm old i love miley okay not enough apparently no like that's clear that's very clear to all of us in my honorable opinion i think it's my humble to all of us. In my honorable opinion, I think it is. In my humble but honorable opinion. Dampen it a little bit. I think that you could love Miley a lot more than you do.

My next one comes from Rachel. She, her. I think I'll do the context second. Okay. So here's the review. This is a one-star review of a greek restaurant in downtown st petersburg where rachel works service is horrible they charged us 278 dollars for dinner for two people euro with french fries i do not eat junk food we prepaid for special Oh my water. I found manager. He completely ignored us.

The owner agreed that we can have free wine, but only cheap ones. Suddenly they was out of the wine they made us pay for. Never again. I would go to this place with very rude waiters and just okay food. It's many good restaurants around. Owner told us he will refund what we paid extra for the wine. Special dinner was completely ruined. Here we go. This is the context that Rachel provides. On New Year's Eve, unbeknownst to all of us front of house staff, we were hosting a giant party that included a four course meal and all well drinks. The party was organized by a different establishment and our restaurant was the venue. We didn't know the menu ahead of time, and we had no idea how many guests had RSVP'd. We were just told that they paid a $150 cover charge, and again, it was open bar for well drinks only.

Anything else they wanted to order required them to start a tab. Suddenly, the restaurant was packed with guests just as confused as we were, but we worked our asses off to take care of them despite the circumstances. Of course, the night was a total shitshow, and we servers have still not been paid for the service we provided, and because it was quote all-inclusive, the guests did not tip. We worked until 4am on a holiday to walk out empty-handed. On New Year's Eve. Yep. Great. empty-handed on new year's eve yep great the next day i saw this review on yelp and read it aloud to my manager and some wait staff as we all sat in the booth after a long shift i read it dramatically

just as like just like my sheefer sibs do and one of the servers cried from laughing so hard thank you for keeping me laughing i didn't know it was out of positive that's good and probably like lack of sleep and everything too this is a whole bit mess thank you for keeping me laughing for several years now and for always standing up for service industry workers sincerely rachel um yeah what a shit show i love it when it's like a personal thing that someone sends us because it's like i think that was at that starbucks one we had we're like was that what left-wing liberal loser was from actually maybe i think it was someone who sent in a review of their own starbucks got some weird man in a motorcycle came into the starbucks and started

freaking out um wow i'm so sorry rachel and staff that you how do you not how do they not tell you that there's a an open bar coming in for new year's eve oh boy boy. That's terrible. I mean you're probably already expecting like. We want free wine but only the expensive stuff. Oh no. I'm just so stressed out just hearing about this. I know. Me too. The fact that I'll have to be there the next day too.

It's like classic. Also I hope that wasn't this year because that would have been even worse. True. That would have been oh even worse true it would have been really quite something it was oh shit christina okay the screenshot okay no that's that doesn't necessarily mean that it says 20 the screenshot says 27 days ago but it could have been from oh shit but christina what this review was sent in on januaryth. Oh, my God. So it must have been this year. Oh, my God.

Come on. Downtown St. Petersburg, Florida. Wow. Okay. Makes a little bit of sense. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Okay. I have an email here from Emily who says, greetings from Utah.

Last year, a local ski resort's ad campaign. Hey, do you want to guess what ski resort? Snowmass. Vail. Close ski resort's ad campaign. Hey, do you want to guess what ski resort? Snowmass. Vail. Close. It's in Utah, Salt Lake City. Oh, did you say Utah already? I did, yes.

Oh, I don't know which ones are in Utah. We went there for New Year's Eve 2000. 2000? Y2K. Y2K we spent on the porch in Wolper. No, we went to. Childhood, home street. No, we went to Salt Lake City.

Y2K, we were with the... We were in Salt Lake City. We were not. Yes, we were. We were in St. Petersburg, Florida. It's a snowbird ski resort. Snowbird. We were dancing with Elsie. Okay, but not on Y2K.

She still talks about it. Okay, whatever. This is an email from emily so snowbird where we have been apparently but not alexander was sharing negative yelp reviews as part of their new like campaign and like for example snow to powdery it was hilarious when i found out about the podcast i knew it would be too so in honor of ski season and the best oh this is from december in honor of ski season we did best... Oh, this is from December. In honor of ski season, we did swimsuits. I'm like, you said that I look outside. I'm like, what, really?

Right now? I was like, I guess my concept of time is kind of skewed lately. Here's some excellent reviews of Snowbird Ski Resort near Salt Lake. So I have two here. The first one is from Craig, one star. No nachos in restaurant. Food sucked unless you like organically sourced fish salads end of review just like it's not a stadium i like if you go to like a baseball stadium and they don't have nachos like i might be on your side like wow they don't even i mean

it's called apres ski there's no way there are nachos at apres-ski. I'm so sorry. At Perfect North there is. At Perfect North Ohio there is. That's all there is. For sure. For sure. For sure.

It's in Indiana. Maybe it's in Indiana. I never remember. Do you know, today I got invited to join the Ohio River Valley and Tri-State Pagan Society. By whom? By the man up the street at the Crystal Store. Oh, okay. In Newport.

Okay. I even have a business card now. I'm a card-carrying member. You are a member of the Pagan... What? Yes. Ohio Valley Pagan Society. Okay.

And the Tri-State Pagan Society. What do they do? Like, what kind of activity? Get-togethers. He told me to join the Facebook group, and I'll find out. Sounds good. Let me know. He's like, now you can join us in the tri-state pagan society. What did they do? Like what kind of activity? I don't know yet. He told me to join the Facebook group and I'll find out. Sounds good. He's like, now you can join us in the craft. And I was like, okay. In the craft? Yeah, the craft.

What's that mean? Like witchcraft, I assume. Don't make these... As I drink my Gatorade. This is a dangerous thing to make assumptions about. You don't go into a pagan meeting saying nothing against pagans, but you don't know what to expect.

I was going to bring my cricket machine and say I also am part of the craft. I do the craft as well. I'd say the same thing about any organization. You don't go in like, oh, you know what? I assume we just do the craft, the witchcraft. Of course. Well, what do you think?

Pagan? The Ohio Valley Pagans? I don't don't know they play board games i mean they're ov pagan society you think they call board games the craft that doesn't make any sense i'll look sooner i don't know maybe there's a board game called the craft we are a non-profit organization supporting the pagan community throughout ohio kentucky and indiana cool um that i thought of that because i didn't know where perfect north was whether it was in Indiana. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. I thought so. That's one of their yearly meetings is at Perfect North Slopes.

Some nachos. Okay, so I have an email here. Oh, sorry. No, I have another review here of Perfect North. Nope. Snowbird. Snowbird Ski Resort. This is a one-star review.

One star. Remember that. By Mel. Okay. I was so tired. I fell asleep immediately when i got home end of review one star oh my one star you had a great time skiing that sounds good and then fell asleep sounds good to me people are ridiculous if anywhere made me fall asleep nice and easily i'd be five stars all the way uh so anyway that's that thank you emily i love that though i think that's such a cool idea and i um i love when they embrace that you know and that's something yeah like when you see those those uh t-shirts t-shirts everything's

like the place where chad had the worst coffee of his life yeah like stuff like that um and i think it would be funny if we did something like that but we're too afraid to read our reviews um because i'm sure there are some ridiculous ones in there that are like funny and even we would find funny probably true but there are many that are true and mean and we can't argue with probably hit too close to home sorry i'm on the ohio valley pagan society i feel bad that i reacted the way i did why did you react the way you did it just totally threw me that you brought this up and i was like the ohio valley pagan and the thing is the first thing is we hope to help educate the public on paganism dispelled stereotypes that's right that's my

difference between myths and reality and i'm like you know what it turns out i could use that obviously are you on ohio valley or tri-state ohio valley okay pagan society yes so um our the tri-state pagan society our goal is to unite the local tri-state pagan community sorry this is you speaking as a card carrying member i forgot oh right yes our goal is to unite the local tri-state pagan community with understanding and acceptance cool so maybe you should uh take a seat and uh learn a thing or two weirdly like i think i would have reacted different like better if you had said the like satanic society of ohio because i've read up on satan that more satanism more and i'm like like, oh, cool shit. I've been learning a lot about paganism, Wiccan rituals, witchcraft.

There's a lot of room for me to be educated. So I'm excited for you to join. I can't wait to educate you. To educate me. I am ready for it. I'm excited. I will take any opportunity today I can to make you listen to me tell you things. Perfect.

We'll have a whole episode where it's just you talking about paganism. No, don't worry, everybody. We won't do that. Then in return, I'll do a vegan one. Please. Okay. Please do not. My next review.

Don't even joke about that. This is from Emmett. He says, I'm Emmett. I use he, him pronouns. I work at Starbucks as a shift manager, and we have access to apps that are only accessible if you work here. They're usually really boring work apps, but they made the mistake of allowing us to review the apps.

Oh, yeah. They purge the reviews every once in a while, but they're always at one star. Why do they let you do them if they then purge them? Here are some of the ones left behind. This is of the work app, starbucks work app which is like amazing this is like next level app reviews that you get to access i'm so excited i think it's called remote support oh no there's multiple it's like intelligent hub like i don't it looks like it's from a device like a starbucks well i don't know phone or something so i don't know much about this

but i'm very excited to read some of these reviews that Starbucks employees left for the apps that they use at work. One star. Let's all just process this together. End of review. Oh, that's it. Oh, I was like, okay, I'm ready. One star. All coming together to give this one star beautiful it's like they're all

communicating with each other through one star because these are all on the same day october 14th they're all just sitting behind the oh my god one star of 2020 yeah oh boy you'd think that a multi-billion dollar company would have better technology end End of review. Oh no. There are a lot in here that are just like not working like won't download like buggy. Oh my god. Here's a three star review. Help! I'm trapped in a Starbucks iPad someone let me out. End of review.

Here's one for the Starbucks employees. One star. Like ordering cold foam on a hot latte. Oh god. End of review. Do people do that? I'm sure they do. I ordering cold foam on a hot latte. Oh, God. End of review. Do people do that? I'm sure they do.

I'm sure they've seen it all. I'm sure they do. Two star review. Yo, guys, they purged the reviews. That is so sad. Can I get a hell nah? End of review. I love that when they were purging them, they were like, we should probably leave this one

alone. Yeah, that one's good. This one, this next one too. Three, because it's a three star. This is of Intelligent Hub. They said three stars. Yo, more like Dumb Hub. Am I right?

Laughing emoji, laughing emoji, laughing emoji, freezing cold emoji, freezing cold emoji, mind blown emoji. That's about the cold thumb on hot. No, I don't think so. Puke emoji, poop emoji, tongue emoji tongue emoji leg emoji karma back to you and that's all so wow beautiful stuff i mean i'm grateful for that because as someone who's like been so weirdly like invested in like starbucks reddit and stuff like the starbucks subreddit app reviews but also that and reading about the plight of the Starbucks employee. This has been a wonderful side that I've never seen before.

So thank you. And to have your interests merge like this with your app reviews. My cold foam mixing with my hot latte interest. No, you're right. With my app. You're right. You're right. Yeah, your app reviews.

I do love app reviews. And I would never be able to access that app. Exactly. And interestingly enough, Alexander, I actually have an app review as well. No, I can't wait. This is like my last one. It's really weird timing. So this is from Liliana.

And it is a review of Zoom in the App Store. The subject is, it's by Tube Gamer gamer and it's a five-star view and the title is get this hacker away oh what i was like that's my username so i was confused no yours is tube gamer 69 yeah this is tube gamer 420 don't get them don't get it twisted the title is get this hacker away five stars so i'm a third grader. I'm in third grade. Oh, no. Never mind.

It's not me. I'm not pretending to be a third grader online. I regret everything. Okay. So I'm a third grader. I'm in third grade. And it was my friend's birthday today, so he made a birthday meeting for all of us to join. So when we joined, we were playing happily for like 18 minutes or seven when there was another person that didn't even wait in the waiting room that

he didn't even let you in. And then she put in the chat, me hacker, me hacked you. He put that in the chat when my friend didn't even let him in. So then my friend ended the meeting so we can join again. And then we all joined. And then the hacker came back doing the same thing again. He didn't let us on your microphones. He didn't even let us check. He didn't let us communicate. And he did the same thing in the chat and set my friend started up again. And then the same thing again he didn't let us on your microphones he didn't even let us check he didn't let us communicate and he did the same thing in the chat and set my friend started up again and then the same thing happened again so then she left the meeting and then we tried to join again and it said that the meeting was locked like the hacker had the controls like he controlled the meeting like he has a meeting now so this is a problem that i want you guys to fix and i hope you have a great day oh and a few oh my god and five stars too not one single punctuation mark oh i could tell

you did that you did that very well thank you i'm a headache yeah i mean too but um oh my god get this hacker away is the title is is homeland security involved now somebody like i'm nervous because that seems like some serious business i feel like um i do like it says me hack me hacker me hacker you or whatever was written in the chat, which like, sounds like one of your friends is messing with you, but. I mean, when I've been known to hack government agencies, that's what I will put in the chat. Not third grade birthday parties, just to be clear. Only government agencies.

Well, I had to start somewhere. Well, you have to start. To be fair. Yeah, low level stuff. Low risk. Low risk. I had no idea that they went ahead and wrote that review, fair. Yeah, low-level stuff. Low-risk. Low-risk. I had no idea that they went ahead and wrote that review, though, so I'm in trouble now. Kind of a five-star.

I'm getting in trouble. You can't complain. What a cute review. I know. I actually really like it. I like it, too. And I hope that they had a fun time playing. Yeah.

What's that game everyone plays? I don't know. That Francisco plays. It's a little peeps, and you have to figure out who is the killer or something. What? Alexander. I want to play. No, you do play.

Clue? No, it's on the internet, Alexander. Among Us? Yeah, that's on. Oh, yeah. Okay. Among Us. I'm playing that on stream.

See, I told you you play it. Someone else's stream. I've never played it before. You've never played it before? No. Okay. Well, you should download it. I don't know.

I feel I'm scared to talk to other people. Then you shouldn't download't download it okay you don't need to talk to other people it just helps i feel like people say mean things on there okay my feelings hurt that's why you play with a group of people that you already know i don't have any people i know people and that would love to play with you thank you so we'll figure this out this is how i get any sort of social interaction i'm gonna get so many messages it's like when is she gonna be on stream playing so we can all play with her please i bitch emote until someone's like i guess you can join my friends and then i do it okay no no no they'll be pleased if it happens okay this is my last one this is from abby she. I live in... This is so funny. This is not relevant.

I love it. I live... My name is Abby Sheher, and I live in Mount Wolf, Pennsylvania. My city is not entirely relevant, but not many people are familiar with my hometown, so I thought I'd give it a shout out. Let's go! Mount Wolf represent. Okay.

Ow, ow! Get it? I do. That was a good wolf. Thank thank you but it was from really high up are you on a mountain yes i am oh wow i have been a listener from day one your podcast is bomb dot com more bombs are better um so recently i found myself completely lost in tiktok and i saw one about a magic shave powder i thought to myself why not okay so off to amazon i went found the powder and thought i bet these reviews are great and boy oh boy i was not disappointed so this is a soft sheen carson

magic razorless shaving for men magic shaving powder with fragrance coarse textured beads formulated for black men depilatory help stop razor bumps since 1901 um that's one of those descriptions this is from amazon this is yes okay that's oh yeah not even description sorry that's the title um that is from amazon uh and there are all these different types like different strengths that you can get they have shaving creams but it provides a clean razorless shave that lasts up to four days so you just put it on and i don't know. Don't listen to me. I don't. I'm going to get in trouble if I give instructions.

I don't know how this shit works. Don't tell people what to do with sharp objects. So they're sharp. You know, you don't need the razor. That's a point. Oh, it's like a razorless. Oh, OK. I put it on and then wipe it off.

And I think I got you like Nair. Yes. Yes. Here is a three star review that I found that I liked. A three-star review by Mori. Smells like rotten eggs. Ruined my bath rub, but otherwise works.

I use it on my legs. Yeah, I know it says not to. It's a fucking bad start. I have sensitive skin, so other creams and razors can be painful. It works well with no burning. The smell is straight sulfur because that's what it is. I'll never get used to it.

And I'm paranoid my house smells like it sometimes. Today, I use it in the bathtub, which apparently isn't sealed. And as soon as it touched, seriously, five seriously five seconds the ceramic it turned it brown slash possible chemical burn oh my god so guess i'm not getting my deposit back also looks like a murder scene end of review thank god my sensitive skin doesn't react at all to this it is pretty gross what the bathtub looks like it looks like a murder it certainly does um oh no i hope he's not a renter it looks like no that's they're not getting their deposit back, they said. Oh, F. I didn't even hear that.

Yeah. It looks like an abandoned tub in Chernobyl or something. Yes. It looks like out of a haunted hospital, abandoned hospital. Yeah. It's been sitting there for a while, but apparently not. It took five seconds. I'm so mad that I didn't make my comment that I was going to make you started which is nair smells terrible it smells like like sulfur like rotten eggs it's

like pure chemicals which is why i don't totally understand why he's saying it's for his sensitive skin because clearly it's chipping off the enamel and porcelain but i guess his skin is okay i mean i don't know what do i know i don't know yeah i don't know it does smell really strong i didn't know that i don't know shit about this kind of thing but it is also weird that they're saying put it on your face but not on your legs it's like that seems like it would be because nair is like don't put this anywhere near your face please because i will read one more okay um this is this is the one that actually in the uh uh abby attached as well okay uh five star review great i bought this to use on my testicles it's hard to mix with water but i just use a shaker bottle only for this stuff and it

makes it easy to mix it works wonders i leave it on for seven minutes and wipe off with a wet washcloth. Removes every hair cleanly. I then take a shower. Cleaning area with only warm water. Do not use soap on the area for a day or so. Also, in case you were wondering, it did not burn to have intercourse immediately after using this product. I was wondering, thank you. However, my fiancé did give me head a couple hours after I used it and it burned terribly so definitely be mindful of that this is so not what i want to know about oh my god i mean

christina the people need to know about yes they do yes they do literally they don't yes they do they don't it's a need it urge. Okay, you're making it way worse. They felt it within them, deep within them. Stop it. Why are you being a weirdo? I'm going to go buy my corkside table. Yeah, she's not even paying attention anymore. Because I'm not wanting to be part of this conversation. It's really relevant to-

To what? Life, philosophy, history, and humankind. This table's $200. Oh my oh my god okay maybe this episode should be sponsored by somebody somebody who makes cork tables please sponsor our podcast but don't give me one because i don't want one i would love one why don't you want one just give me straight cash give me straight cash please all right thank you for listening to between you and us this week and sorry also but thank you and we are very excited to be back with another one so we'll be back eventually next time hey we've hit like three or four months in a row that's right we are we are

that's amazing more consistent than before that's amazing so i'm proud of us you know what i am too and you better be also dear listener so we will see you next time and until then stay sandy Bye.