Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 26

Episode Date: July 31, 2021

Oalf is a bad role model. Check out our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious, Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like you reviews that you sent in to us via email this is between you and us where we read reviews that you send to us via email like i just said

we also don't edit these for content just for music so no that's our bonuses no it's both both i thought oh that's new i always edited these before oh never mind well maybe this is a new chapter for us everyone's like no please god no edit it uh well we'll try our best so hello and welcome to between you and us this is our july episode it's technically still july when we upload question mark yeah actually it is it is uh yeah we'll see if we can make it happen we will we will um but we are excited to do this how many do you have xandy i have five me too perfect at least five emails i'm trying to remember if i same here so we have five emails so let's let's let's let's yeah we'll see i'll go first though if you don't mind my first one is

from sydney she her um who stumbled across this review this is of the ninja nj 600 grid wmc professional blender black silver on amazon cool cool cool by shark ninja uh this is a five-star review um titled an ode to a blender and i'm regretting my whole thing about uh not editing because my god this is something it's hard to read not aloud so this is to be just bear with me, everybody. Journey. Okay. Bear with me. An ode to a blender. I don't know if this is supposed to rhyme. I don't know.

I'm just. Yes, it is. I promise you. I promise you it doesn't. I'm making the executive decision. It's supposed to rhyme. It's also an iambic pentameter. So please don't mess that up. Okay.

Okay. Here we go we go oh beautiful blender thou did work your way into my heart boxed ever so snugly thou came into our home amazon had advertised thee as a sturdy choice and after much searching did we hit add to cart. We waited in anticipation for thou to enter our life. And oh, what joy thou brought with thee. Thou made smoothies and blended eggs with thy sharp gleaning blades. As a white knight that comes to the rescue, so did thee glinting thy steel parts in the morning sun. We made omelets and scrambled eggs both.

Never did thou let me down when making Sunday brunch. Each time I washed thee, I caressed every part of you. Slowly letting the hot soapy water restore thy gleaming self. As I tenderly dried thee, thy did made me think of the great work thou hast done. Stop. This is getting too much. I read that exactly how it was worded. I'm so proud of myself.

First try when we didn't edit this, I swear to God. You're giving me a headache. That was something because it was terrible. I'm halfway. I'm halfway. Halfway? Oh, for God's sake. Each time I put thee in thy resting place,

I knew it would not be long until our next encounter then some things changed and we asked of thee a most difficult task this was not a commission thou were designed for but ever the soldier thou did blend on no thou did not ever look back and i shall miss thee dearly. A fortnight passed. Thou was working hard. When thou were spinning, it did not sound well at all. Thy blades did not glint the same as in days of yore. Then I heard it.

A sudden snap. Like the breaking of a tree branch on a cold winter's day. I tried to get thee to blend, but right there did thy pass into the great beyond. Oh no. We tried to find a twin brother who might continue thy work. Twas not an easy task to find the right family member. Hey, you died and we tried to replace you immediately

with somebody that looked like you. Good job, blender. But finally we had and we jumped for joy there was the ninja professional blender from amazon 88 dollars fit us well end of review wait wait wait that's it i don't know was that for the same i don't understand i don't know why am i asking for context i don't know um okay i feel like this is one of those browser extensions where every time you type the word you it like changes it well they even had you in there that was as not that i'm like will you go through all this effort and you miss one oh um also the saddest part is only four people

found it helpful oh no so they did all this work this was in 2018 please don't ask me to be the fifth because i don't want to i'm the i'm the fifth sorry yeah i forgot i went and found it and i'd rather not no i um yeah that was uh that's sydney's fault hey honestly i'm mad that they didn't tell me what the blender was trying to blend that it wasn't exactly that was really that really pissed me off i'm guessing like make crayons is that something you often do in a blender no or i guess not okay no i was watching new girl and she told schmidt she used his coffee grinder to make homemade crayons and i can't stop thinking about it that's pretty funny i feel like that would gum up the blades you know twid twid stop it all right i'm done um thank you sydney sort of uh so this is from

Thank you, Sydney. Sort of. So this is from Kyla. I'm already annoyed because Kyla wrote, P.S. Alexander, my RuneScape username is SmuckyWucky. See you in Lumbee? I just don't want to click on the link that that goes to. What, Lumbee?

Yeah, I don't know. Lumbee's a place. It's where you spawn. Well, it depends on... Okay. I'd rather not. Generally when you spawn, especially early on. No, it's like a gif. on oh there's a link oh it's a runescape gif yeah yeah yeah i'd rather not look at this anymore okay um so kyla says what

see you there stucky wucky what is it uh smucky smucky wucky smucky wucky so kyla says hi she for sibs you may have gotten this review already but it's near and dear to my heart my partner and i quoted at least once a week also a, a couple of months ago, I laughed too hard listening to Beach to Sandy and spilled a beer on my laptop. The keyboard still needs to get replaced, so expect an invoice soon. I actually do expect it. I feel like I wouldn't blame anybody for sending us an invoice. We wouldn't pay it. No, absolutely not.

I might actually hang it up on my wall for entertainment. We can tell you to fuck off, but we would love it. We would love it. We would appreciate it. I love the idea of quoting a review. I know we have quotes that we've pulled from reviews and used them for our merch. It's inside jokes for the podcast. I love that they reference a specific review outside of the world of podcasts. It's a totally separate thing.

I agree. I love that too and i think you and i might start quoting it um and steal their idea because it's pretty funny this is a review of the shining dvd 1980 and it's a one-star review by woolly a verified purchase reviewed in the united kingdom on 29th march 2013 and the title is scary one star it's too scary far far too scary by far i was scared the kid is a genius at the end but it is scary scary scary far too scary what was it far far too scary by far too scary by far i was scared that's really good but two is spelled with just one o so far far too scary by far. Far too scary by far. I was scared. That's really good.

But two is spelled with just one O. So far too scary by far. I was scared. You didn't have to tell me that. I could tell. 11 people found this helpful. I feel bad for the blender person who was trying so hard. Who wrote a literal ode, an entire long ode, and then gets four people to react.

And this person gets 11 for being, I't know what being scared far too scared the kid's a genius at the end i like that the kid is a genius i feel like that is not really the takeaway from the movie i don't i mean i don't know if genius is the right word i don't know i feel like it's not like well the kid does something clever to escape okay yeah i guess i think that's what the reference is too but i see okay still i it just feels a little i don't know whatever the book is also very different with the kid which i highly recommend reading that book too oh really oh the show yeah yeah i know you've read it yeah um wow the kid is a genius at the end i i know it makes it sound like it's um like the kid goes on to i just realized why i was confused you were

thinking of a different movie yeah i was i was thinking of um he was dead the whole time oh the sixth sense in the shining oh i always get the names mixed up because they're both kind of scary yeah far too scary far too scary by far um sorry yes the shining he is a genius at the end but also you're right that's like totally not relevant it feels like a weird like a weird takeaway yeah that's your for a two-line review that's a weird exactly exactly it's really scary but the kids it's like well yeah that scene was kind of it was pretty clever but uh i don't know wasn't enough to redeem it from a one star but um sorry i got those mixed up in my brain um duh i was like there's a book i was like what book okay there probably is a book about the six cents but i don't think so but i don't know maybe i don't know but you're right this is a great book you should just move on for the sake of yourself and your reputation i did this to you maybe i shouldn't quote this review

we'll talk about it we'll talk about it in lumbee um so here is a review this was sent in by natalie this is of uh home depot um about studs from Home Depot. Okay. Five stars. By Studly. No. Yes. My wife always told me that I was the coolest stud around,

but after purchasing these studs from Home Depot, clearly she is wrong. The studs are solid, chiseled, tall, and slender. Oh, God. I'm scared for my life that when my wife finds out what Good Studs Home Depot has, I will be in trouble. End of review. She was lying to me all along. It's so stupid.

I love it, though. She led me astray. I love it, especially because it's a five-star review, you know, instead of... Can you imagine... Honey, honey, look at these studs. They... I just feel like she's like, okay, all right. It's so cheesy, cheesy but does anybody find it

such a dad joke thing i don't know is that a thing yeah one person one out of one found it helpful so no one found it not helpful yeah that's good so i guess yeah it's better going it's going the right direction it might have been natalie it might have been him it might yeah it might have been studley studley himself that was beautiful um i love that well i review here from sarah she her thank you sarah uh and of course it's parentheses common sense media in the subject so uh you just were drawn to it totally like magnet drawn to it um sarah says i saw this on twitter and I don't know. You need it. So thank you. Obviously, you were right.

This is a review of Frozen. I'm sorry. Because it's a review of Frozen. Why is that? Sorry. Oh, have we read a review of Frozen before? We might have. Wait, yes, we did. Why are you winking at me?

You don't remember. I do remember. I purposefully suppress a lot. Secondly, Olaf is... Oh, yes. The whole child with Olaf. I remember that. There's like a 16 paragraph review where he keeps copy pasting the same thing into the

paragraphs. Okay. One star. One star. And this person says Frozen is for 18 plus only. So rated R, I guess. Or even higher than rated ma rated ma rated for mature audiences monster safari that's the other episode oh yikes now i'm referencing the wrong episode and and that hasn't come out yet oh it hasn't you guys are gonna get hysterical don't look up monster saf Safari until after listening to the episode on Wednesday.

That's so bad. It comes out next. Okay. That's what happens when we record them out of order, which is my fault that we're doing it like this. Okay. This is about Frozen 18 plus. The subject is. Sorry to harp on that some more, but I love if people are like, how does she know about Monster Safari?

Because it had 14 reviews on it it's like not even like oh my god how embarrassing yeah it's like a cinemax special it's like a softcore porn um no so you've got that to look forward to on wednesday it's so embarrassing um well sarah said this screenshot and it i see at the bottom one free review left this month how old are your kids join plus for age-based pics that sounds okay well what pics like cks like not like age-based pics wink how old are your kids oh my god this seemed really fucked up this place it's common sense media saying hey do you have kids which like i don't and yet i still bought a plus membership which is so bad um i was about to say i hope you do and then i realized that you are you paid for

this yourself it's embarrassing yeah so one free review left from this month sarah so i hope you use it wisely um 18 plus review of frozen one star by i assume a child the subject is the moral of the movie is incest oh jesus fucking christ what what did you expect from a cinemax 18 special okay that probably exists that version of frozen probably exists i'm just i'm sorry while the movie starts out modest it all changes in the song love is an open door this song i don't need to tell you that this song has many sexual references yes you do because i well i don't know but you did it anyway i don't want you to say that. Okay, I'm not going to say it. And then there is Let It Go.

The only thing Elsa is letting go is her clothes. What? What? You watched the wrong movie. Like, I know there's that big, like, scene where, like, she, like, twirls and her outfit changes, right? In the middle of the song but i don't think she loses any clothes i think they change she's an exotic dancer in that film i mean that's fine i don't know what that's to do with incest anyway by the way i'm wondering

if we're about to find out find out the only thing elsa is letting go is her clothes olf is a bad role model. Oh, Ulf. Leave Ulf alone. It's spelled O-A-L-F. That makes it worse. I was going to say. I thought it was O-L-F. I know. It's like, I wish they'd forgotten a letter, but they literally switched them, which makes it somehow worse. Ulf is a bad role model, and he makes many adult references.

In the end, Anna chooses to commit incest with her sister. Oh, my God. What? What movie are you watching? many adult references in the end anna chooses to commit incest with her sister oh my god what what movie are you watching do you know what she's referencing no i have no i haven't seen this in a while but i believe it or not everybody i didn't see it in this like with this view in mind oh my god um in the end anna chooses to commit incest with her sister to save her life that's all in capitals the only good part of this movie was the trolls who tried to marry anna and christoph before they did anything this title contains violence and scariness and sexy stuff i don't understand what the incest scene like she's frozen when they're making out

she like cries on her or something or like kisses her cheek i don't remember i scene like she's frozen when they're making out she like cries on her or something or like kisses her cheek i don't remember i feel like there's some like um i don't know i can't i was about to google something and i was like you know what don't type anything i'm not careful i'm not doing this is watching i'm on your internet though so that's true it's gonna link back to me yeah you're in trouble um anyway i just i can't i like that there were so many accusations with zero examples yeah exactly like this is very very uh a lot oaf makes a lot of adult references which i'm like like what i don't know um the trolls were actually christian is what this child is saying they made him get married

before they did anything which what did they do that's i guess probably they kissed it is disney i don't know though disney they probably know you know how all those old films now have like warnings at the front yeah well a lot of them need them it's pretty fucked up yeah i watched um i watched peter pan recently and i was like, this is so much. I knew it was bad, but watching it was like, this is actually, I don't even know how, not to throw a parent's word, but how did they watch that and go, okay, I can't fathom. I wonder if that's going to be similar to us, I don't know, 30 years from now looking back. Probably guaranteed. Frozen's going to have one of those warnings at the beginning beginning it's already happening with some shows are taking off certain episodes

um from like the last 20 like the 2000s yeah um well and rightfully so i mean there's some really fucked up shit that people were getting away with literally incest and frozen they're gonna need one of these um oh my god could you imagine one day there's a disney puts a on the future disney plus it's like there this this title contains incest it'll contain sexy stuff beware oh my god that's one common sense media has taken over the media oh let's that's a scary thought yeah i i don't know if it's between that and jeff bezos though i might be on uh we're all screwed because yeah we're all yeah we're screwed either way actually there's a side on uh we're all screwed yeah we're all yeah we're screwed either way actually there's a side to pick we're all screwed um my next one is from ali who uh said

i just started listening a couple days ago so i'm honestly not very far into your episodes number 17 but i just had to share this also ali used the right subject though you're gonna find us soon you're gonna find us soon what the hell does that mean you're gonna find i meant you're gonna get to this eventually you'd be like oh my gosh like it's probably gonna be like because this happens we do not email the person like oh we used your review we're just throwing into a folder like oh this is the used folder literally um we discard you you're still there you're just used up now so oh god anyway ali welcome to that folder um and so saw this review of a local tom thumb and i was like why are you saying that as if i know what that is what's a tom exactly we're just we just don't

know it is a grocery store pharmacy okay uh it's a sub it'sxas um yeah so here's the review um ali apologized for sending this in i'm going to apologize for reading it but yeah um just read it i'm reading it get it over with this is a one-star review by rachel wow human feces in the produce section so i am at tom thumb doing my grocery shopping for the week and when i go to the produce section to weigh my ginger root i find two nuggets of human feces on the scale stop it omg i was so disgusted how can they expect to stay in business when they have poop in the produce section? I asked the loss prevention guy, this chubby white guy, if he could have someone clean it. But he said to just use the other scale.

I was so disgusted. I then asked to speak to the manager and this white lady, didn't get her name, told me it was normal to come across situations like this. What? Sorry. This is just a Tom Thumb thing. You don't understand. What? Definitely never shopping here again. is a picture no no no no don't show me i mean i am inclined to believe that yes that is human feces i i like i sinner i based on the picture i was like there is no i know i

know exactly me too and then i look at that picture i'm like sinner why is the picture I was like there is no fucking way I know exactly me too and then I look at that picture I'm like that's how Allie sent it I swear it's a gigantic attachment it is quite large I actually feel really ill now yeah I'm gonna stop looking at it now

I feel actually physically ill extremely ill wow that made my life really unhappy for a moment I don't I feel actually physically ill. Extremely ill. Wow. That made my life really unhappy for a moment. I don't know. I don't know. No, I don't know either.

They were like, this is normal? This is just what happens at Tom Thumb? Apparently. What? I don't know. How does that even happen? Don't answer that. I was about to go into it. I don't know how does that even happen don't answer that i was about to go into it i don't want to know um y'all we're not going to show you the photo for many many reasons but just please

believe that i fully was rolling my eyes and then i saw it with my own two eyes and my eyes burned out of my head and now i regret everything cool yeah there's no articles there are no articles or anything about this so i like tried searching so it just happened and i i guess everyone moved on who that scale is still being used for produce i'm sure oh my god oxen are no disinfect it move on i hope somebody does ginger put ginger root on there i was trying to measure my well it's funny when they said ginger root i was like huh i bet to measure my ginger root. Well, it's funny when they said ginger root, I was like, huh, I bet it's not poop. It's probably someone else's ginger root.

Yes. It looks like, you know, something. And then I looked at it and I was like, oh, nope, that's not ginger. Might be some ginger in there, depending on what they ate. Stop it. I'm just saying. I imagine the fear of walking up and just like being face to face, like. Oh, the shock of like walking.

Because y'all, we're not showing the picture but like yeah like yeah like you see that and you're like yeah that's poop yeah not animal poop either i want to die okay i'm gonna change the subject let's let's go to a different review this is from jessica let's see jessica sent this um and the subject is wrong mint. How dare they? And this is on an Amazon seller page for Shopimo, which is just some Amazon seller. Feedback, one star. By Charlie. Incorrect product scent. Incorrect product scent.

I ordered wintergreen and instead I got peppermint. I should get some sort of restitution since I hate peppermint, but only want wintergreen. Check and see what I ordered. Wow. A lot of those were upper and then lower and then upper and lower. Restitution. Restitution is quite a word to use in this scenario, Charlie.

I would say the wrong word. Probably the incorrect word. If you say refund, i might be a little bit more on your side here but restitution you you brought it to a level that it did not need to wintergreen you did not need to get that i ordered wintergreen and instead got peppermint um check and see what i ordered just do it i dare you i don't even know what it was like i it was just something that's peppermint like you's a gum like i was gonna ask i was like it just says feedback for the seller it doesn't say it's not like a product it's just for the seller um well they got their feedback i suppose

the way it's written with so many exclamations so many capital like it's so angry it's so angry i just wish i could convey how mad this person is about getting peppermint i mean if you ask just ask for a refund or something chill they did they asked for more than a refund no exactly that's the price to watch i said just ask for a refund i'm not saying scream about it asking for restitution with a capital r by the way so fucking dramatic okay well thank you jessica jessica i hate how much i love that so thank you um i'm glad we went to from a poop one to a mint one yeah at the very least that's true a little fresher something a little cleaner so here

this next one i don't know what this falls under here but um uh avery they them sent a email it says between you and us all lowercase and then parentheses all caps giant corn stock and then in the email body it says giant corn stock and all caps down on the farm in lowercase uh this is of a giant corn yeah it's literally like a decoration that's a giant cornstalk like a fake giant cornstalk i think for your house it says it's from the site stumps party like patrick stump i don't know but it says here no fall party would be complete without this five foot tall by 21 and a half inches wide at the widest point heavy paper corn stalk must be attached to a wall yeah it's just don't roll it down the hill like

fake corn oh so it's like for like a prom or something where you're taking photos yeah and like rural nebraska prom right yeah i know how those are which why wouldn't you just get a corn stalk from well they probably don't need it it's probably if your theme is rural nebraska true in brooklyn which is what i voted for when we did our i know prom but so weird only two people voted for it and it was both of us. We never went to a prom at the same time. No, we did not. Thank God. I had a terrible enough time.

Same. Without you being there. Same. Okay, anyway. They wouldn't even let me bring my date because they said that's a corn stalk. It's not a person. So just let me get one photo. I paid 20 bucks for this date um here's a three-star review of this giant corn stalk entitled nice size okay these went well with the theme of a fall festival although i thought they were not very pretty end of review that's it it's not very nice i know it's like this isn't pretty but it fits the

theme it's like what do you expect it's not gonna be pretty it's a corn stalk a fake one fall festival i feel like you're buying dead corn it's not gonna be all right school had a fall festival they would buy this shit absolutely actually yeah that's what this is for okay i see it like i'm seeing like it's like i'm seeing events you know yeah which y'all just fucking don't prom catalogs where they like sell like decor for fundraisers proms that kind of thing they're so fascinating there was one i read recently and one of the pages was called oriental theme and i was like yikes woofaroo i was like first of all why am i receiving this in the mail yeah good question not the right demo but second of all like big no for me um but anyway yeah so i feel like that's the kind of thing

they sell oh my god i have been talking a lot to people a lot about their prom experiences recently why like i i know it just has been coming up and i guess i came up here i realized our prom was just really like shitty oh yes there's no after prom there's no partying prom remember at oak hills yeah yeah yeah you told me about that and i remember being shocked it was things that they had insane like it was insane like they and then i was like they were like yeah they did that so we wouldn't go out and drink yes exactly like had all these activities for us to do and i was like oh they didn't care what we did they didn't care they were like here's beer you can go drink okay that would have been more entertaining yeah i was super straight edge

in high school me too so i i don't really know what other people did i just went home we went to play laser tag so we we had to create our own activity i just and then we went to ihop and then simon i sat in a car in a parking lot until 7 a.m. making prank phone calls. Oh, Renee and I probably sat in our house making prank phone calls. So I had a, like, after prom, I had a blast. But our school had nothing to do. Oh, nothing. And we all wore, like, tuxedos and everything.

Like, you had to wear a tuxedo. Which we didn't have to. It wasn't really a tuxedo. I don't know. I'm being dramatic. But, like, I don't know. We never had, like, a like a real like high school prom. It was sort of like just another dance that kind of was pretty boring.

Yeah. You literally just sat. They served you dinner. And then there was a dance floor. And that was it. Yeah. It was kind of a, I guess, you know, what else do we expect? But.

Anyway. I hope you all had great proms. I know. Have you seen how they do like prom redos for people who like miss their prom and stuff? I should pretend that I did that. Yeah, we should do that. Yeah. I just have a beach to Sandy prom.

How creepy would that be? Can we just buy a bunch of cornstarch and have a rural Nebraska? Hold on. Do you know who owns Nebraska? True. Dorcas. We could call Dorcas and say, you own more than half of Nebraska. You need to help us put on this event.

It's a rural Nebraska themed prom for adults. Look, if we were like big, big, like if we were fucking Joe Rogan big, we would do shit like that. We'd literally rent out Nebraska for a giant Beach Too Sandy prom. I don't know if you see the literal stars gleaming in my eyes. I would love to be able to do that. There's support our patreon and then maybe one day this is your fault everybody you need to make us as big as joe rogan so we can host a nebraska themed prom for everybody tell one friend of yours to listen to our podcast and tell them that if they tell their friends one day they might get invited to the beach to sandy

prom your plus one they yes oh my god right yes buy them a ticket to the beach to sandy prom in rural nebraska i think this is gonna be the best party i would love to do that and then also if we were big where people would actually like really travel to see us and we had like shows at the weirdest fucking places we reviewed, like middle of nowhere. That would be so fun. We could just. Oh, my God. We have big dreams.

So give us money. I just really want to host a prom in Nebraska now. Okay. So this is from M who says, this is M. She, her. I was looking for fidget toys online when I came across this listing and it made my day um so these are basically like you know fidget toys like things that you play with in your hands to distract yourself or to uh fidget i will i will i should buy so i've never owned one but i think i

would love one i think i would they're very nice i have like a worry stone and like i used to have a fidget spinner but it broke um things like that so this is a series of reviews that kind of give you an insight into what this product how this was delivered so question so you know how they have question answer on himself question is where did this item come from answer from mama no sorry answer from farm mama farm mama says from an asian country i can't remember precisely beware mine came labeled in bags ass baby 10 people found this helpful ass baby that's like that's like the shitty knockoff of boss baby does that say ass Baby? That says Ass Baby. Oh, no. It's, um, let me read another review.

This is by Bex. Verified purchase, five stars. Packaging was the best part. I couldn't be happier with these. I think it's adorable and exactly what I wanted. But the additionally wonderful icing on the cake was the perplexing packaging. Really love this product a lot, and especially this Ass Baby packaging. Now I want one. I know.

Get rid of ass baby. Now that's a quote. Well, Alexander, I think you and Robin are on the same page. Four stars. Verified purchase. Okay. Subject is love, except for one thing. page four stars verified purchase okay subject is love except for one thing i ordered from the seller specifically for the ass baby bag that other customers received sadly when i opened it

it was void of any ass baby packaging the product itself i love and is perfect i would have gave five stars but the product was void of any ass baby bag 14 people found no so um baby bag 14 people found no so um ask baby fidget toys is i want an ass okay no i'm not gonna say it i'm not gonna say it i want a fidget toy that is packaged in something that says and the best if you guys can picture it says ask me but it's in like ariel lowercase font like it's not like fancy it's literally like somebody typed the word ass baby on microsoft word and then printed it out onto a bag um so weird really weird it should happen i don't understand i don't either um i've seen some weird names for for sellers and things but ass baby is a first so um let us know if you end up with one of these because i would love to see it

in real life i would love to own an ass baby bag. Our P.O. box is at beachtoosandy.com. Oh, my God. We're going to get arrested by the postal police. They're going to be like, wow, so many. What's in this package? Ass babies. It's nothing.

All ass babies. It's just ass babies. Anyway, here is my last one. It's just ass babies. Anyway, here is my last one. This is from Jess Sheher, who says, Hello to the broad and bro of broadcast. I discovered your show recently after years of listening to and that's why we drink.

You've helped bring much needed laughs to my fiance and I spending our engagement in quarantine. Congratulations. That's not sarcasm. Not congratulations to spending it in quarantine i mean and never mind it's crazy how much he just rolled his eyes it was like yikes be nice christina don't lie because you're about to get a treat this is a common sense media review and it's for a movie called the oogie loves in the big balloon adventure yes it is yes it absolutely is

um here is a review that one of the reviews that I'm going to read. Also, this is a two out of 10 on IMDb. It is has like a legitimate cast, which is kind of scary. Like Cloris Leachman. Oh, my God. The voice of someone as is Christopher Lloyd. Oh, my God. No, it's legit.

It's legit, which is probably why it's rated so poorly out of 14,868 reviews oh on or votes on imdb and it has it two out of ten that's bad yeah it's it's bad um what's it called again the how could you forget say it again i'm gonna say it many times read it to me again papa the oogie loves in Loves and the Big Balloon Adventure. Stop it. Here is a four-star review titled Nostalgia in a Big Way. Okay. This movie reminds me of the times when I was a child and I watched PBS and stuff like that. Reminds me of this one show I saw sometimes on Sundays while waiting for other good programs called My Bedbugs.

Jesus, you just scared the shit out of me. Did you do that on purpose? No, what? Why? Selene and I used to watch My Bed Bugs all the time. Oh yeah, I recognize it. No, I didn't do this on purpose. What?

Alexander, we found it once on like some late night channel and it was like the trippiest, weirdest fucking show and there was a vacuum named J. hoover j edgar hoover jay edgar hoover and we had a printout of my bed bugs and we like put them on the walls j yeah wait how do you know how do why is this all weird i can't believe because you i feel like we used to talk about selena used to talk about this show constantly. Wait, wait, no, it's, the movie's loosely based on the series. Shut up. Yeah, so I was like, wait a second. Because I was expecting you to say naughty. Yeah, you're right, they are very similar.

In Toyland, and then you said my bedbugs, and I almost like, oh my god. Wow, wow, wow, sorry, this is a blast from the past. Yeah, Jay Edgar is in this movie, too. I, Selena and I, i need to text her later but anyway okay it was one of our favorites well so it's disturbing oh and literally the next line i'm so i should have just kept reading okay it reminds me of that this one show i saw sometimes on sundays while waiting for other good programs called my bed bugs which was what this movie was based off and the first show i ever watched as a child teletubbies

there are some funny parts such as a peacock with a sign taped to its back and ruffy saying they'll be late for schluffy's retirement party which leads to laro sombrero chanting oh oogie oogie love oogie love ah it's not real that's the only reason I read this review. This is not real. The songs are fun as well. However, my one gripe with this movie is that Toofy drops his pants constantly. I can't tell you how inappropriate that is for a children's movie. My mom even said it was, get this, a mooning joke.

So anyways, except for that that little ones will enjoy this movie oh and by the way happy birthday shluffy because i posted this review on the first anniversary of this movie's release oh what a weird thing of what a weird thing oh sorry this title contains educational value positive messages positive role models and no it does not for dropping his pants at the retirement party i when else you're gonna drop your pants it's the time to do it because you're on your way out anyway i don't know what to do with this because i'm not kidding like i've never heard about my bedbugs outside of that one night selena and i watched it and got like that one night it was

one night we stayed up all night it was before your violin recital um i know and then i had to go to your super violin recital thanks yeah it was awful and um we stayed up all night and we watched the weirdest shit on like we had just gotten one of those cable packages where there were like 600 channels so we would just go through all the channels and we found this thing called my bed bugs they're creepy they're so weird you won't like this movie if you find that creepy i won't i can promise you um okay so this is my final one it is a redemption it is from sarah who says hi alex and christine i don't know how i wound up in these reviews but i thought this one from dot absolutely adorable. Okay, here's a link to the product. It is the Yummy Women's Seamless Reversible Shapewear Tank Top in white, size 2X. This is a review by Dottie W., verified purchase.

Subject is, thank you for your patience five stars this is a little tight but i decided to keep it i am sorry i did not write you last week but was in a little accident not serious and it just flew out of my head thank you for being generous with your patience and i'm glad you were able to charge me. And a review. Wait, what? They were going to... I think that like they said, oh, please write a review of your purchase and she didn't get to it. It was delayed because they were in an accident

and then they apologized for being late. Because it flew out of my head. Oh my God. My head hit the windshield. Oh no. I just like... Oh no. That's so sweet but so sad. I'm sorry i did not write you last week that's so sweet and

so sad at the same time i know and sarah says who is she apologizing to what kind of accident dotty you precious gem i hope you're okay oh me too me too dotty i am sorry i did not write you last week and it's like for a tank top like it it's not even anything. For shapewear. Yeah. That like. Oh no. Thank you for being generous with your patience. I was in a little accident. Nothing serious. Oh my God. Anyway.

So that's just my redemption. I'm so glad that Dottie had a good time and enjoyed her shapewear. Got into that accident. Got into that. Poor Dottie. So yeah. That's all. I love it. Is that all we have we have that's all i have another one at the books oh and hope you all enjoyed hope you all enjoyed if you want to send in other ones uh go to the internet and find them and then email them go

look for them i was like go to i was like nope that's not how this works go to be uh go watch my bed bugs because it's deeply disturbing i'm googling it now oh my god and then write us an email about it gmail.com nope that's not that's where i go to go to gmail uh beach to sandy at gmail.com please use between you and us in the subject and uh we would love to hear from you and read your reviews hopefully in next month's episode that's right see you in probably exactly 31 days talk to you then Bye.