Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 29

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Between talks of foreplay and vacuums, this episode really sucks. Check out our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast only six dollars at a and w's in ontario experience a and w's classic breakfast on now d-in only until 11 a.m. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Between You and Us, October 2021 edition. Wow!

I know, we only have two left after this for the whole year. Yeah. We are here to read reviews that you emailed to us at beachyciney at gmail.com. I have four in a redemption. I've got four emails. Amazing. Let's freaking do it so i shall go first okay so let's see what i got for you um okay this is an email from carrie she her thank you carrie who says back with another great orlando area review this time from bar 17 at the universal

orlando resort with christine being directionally challenged please be warned about this job you apparently cannot have okay i love that already this is a wild one this is um a two-star review by cecilia i asked the server which direction orlando international airport is and he got it over 90 degrees wrong which for a rooftop bar is unacceptable he pointed south down the i-4 unbelievable drinks are universal prices as expected but with the server not knowing the direction of the airport he shouldn't be working the rooftop bar views are good however end of review what does this person think the purpose of a rooftop bar views are good however end of review what does

this person think the purpose of a rooftop bar is i do not understand she was in the um control tower at the airport thinking it was a bar and they were trying to no i don't know um i don't know i was i was blown away by this did she go up there to uh to find out directions i don't know i just find it so straight is she testing him like i mean clearly because she either knew already or looked it up afterwards she didn't trust him no um i mean fair he he was wrong so i wouldn't i'm glad she didn't trust him i guess but what could be more important enough that this actually matters honestly if you're going to the airport this was written a year ago like if you're going to the airport don't ask the guy at the bar where to go it just seems like not the right plan of action

i like how they were confident though the the person yeah they just said that way they were just completely wrong but like the other day alexander was here and oh he was like well what side he's like that's the front of your house so i was like no it's not like i still don't know which side of my house is which from a third floor like i don't know what's outside the windows yeah but at the bar if you were working there and someone asked you that you would say i have no idea you wouldn't just guess no i wouldn't guess um you'd probably or you'd say i'll look i'll you'd say i'll look i'll check for you i'll look it up yeah yeah which they might also might prompt them to write a one

star review because clearly they have an i'm not prepared expectation i failed the test either way for what their servers should know about the area it's not a tour i this person isn't a historical tour guide or something i mean historically the number one thing i do want to see when it comes to orlando is the airport is the direction of the airport yeah not even exactly not even that way how dare you point down i4 whenever yeah it's actually what she said unacceptable unacceptable unacceptable people are freaking my first email is from emily she her emily says hello lovely she for siblings and soon to arrive baby by the time you're listening to this actually the baby's here which is a weird thought everybody i mean well when are you

releasing this heck if i know okay then yeah this is probably like the third monday in october or something or the last Monday in October. Then yeah. Yeah. One of my students asked me if I had ever looked at reviews of Egyptian monuments. Oh, boy. So I gave it a go. And then also says, I am also writing because my husband and I were on our post-vaccination vacation at a Sandals resort last week.

Ooh. resort last week um and a couple we met started talking to us to us a very childless dog parent couple about their quote favorite website to keep their kids safe common sense media for their ds and dd uh-huh wow which they use specifically to help them to avoid sexy stuff oh my god and then parentheses they whispered this part because they thought it was scandalous it is also wow common sense media in the wild isn't that how cool funny uh i full on snorted a pina colada out of my nose and caused a scene i had found a common sense media family in real life and was starstruck they were not entertained it was worth it wow um so yeah uh thank you for that anecdote that's hilarious i'm so glad that happened to you i want that to happen to me

in real life pulled out your pouch your contained sexy stuff took out your tequila nibs from there well the dream okay this is um oh my god could you imagine though that'd be so funny if someone's like contain sexy stuff oh yeah like my pouch they'd probably be like what that'd be hilarious yeah i love that um this so i have two so the first one is a review of the great pyramids of giza this is a one-star review uh this is by brian pales in comparison to the great Corn Palace of Mitchell, South Dakota. End of review. I mean, you're not wrong, Brian. Completely correct.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Everything pales, especially world landmarks. Especially. Oh, that's amazing. That Corn Palace never leaves us. I feel like every other month that Corn Palace comes back into our view.

It has to. Yeah, it just has to keep its presence known. Yeah, and I appreciate it. I do too. This next one is of the Pyramid of Djoser. Pyramid of Djoser. That's D-J-O-S-E-R. This is a one- review by derek honestly i didn't realize until

i was in the bottom of pyramids that these pyramids are just tombstones massive graveyards the pharaohs were so attached to their lives that they created these pyramids for people to worship and bring sacrifices so they could be reincarnated to rule again. I got bad ghost energy from being in them. I would avoid them. Period. End of review. What on earth?

Are they reading a brochure? I know, right? I didn't realize until I was here the exact historical significance of this pyramid. They were in the bottom of the pyramid. And they were like, oh shit, there are ghosts around me. If honestly, if they didn't realize any of the above until they were in there and they were like oh shit there are ghosts around me if honestly if they didn't realize any of the above until they were in there and they somehow like maybe there was a ghost in there because they clearly got that information from somewhere someone whispered they were alone

but they got all these whispers in their ear and they're like who said that who who just told me that these pyramids are just tombstones that the pharaohs were so attached to their lives that they created these pyramids for people to worship and bring sacrifices so they could be reincarnated to rule again. Who whispered that in my ear? Also, like, so boring. Yeah. It's like, come on. Whisper something cool or interesting. Like, what else could you use this pyramid for?

I don't know. Like, a jungle gym? Like, what else? What do you mean? Like, I think people just think they're just buildings. And that's less interesting than like reincarnation and sacrifices. I think this person, I don't think it was any problem with how interesting it was. They're just surrounded by ghosts.

They got bad ghost energy. Honestly, go to the Corn Palace. No, don't. There's a lot of bad ghost energy there too. It's probably even worse. It's worse. The sacrifices that have been performed there. Oh my we we performed a few i know i try to keep it on the dl since it's kind of frowned upon but yeah um that and the giant horseshoe crab both

really both really um historical places of yeah we just value our lives so much that we want people to worship us there okay um let's see this is from aaron who says hi she for sibs long time listener first time caller i stumbled upon this review while looking for a last minute anniversary gift for my husband warning contains sexy stuff the product is a printable foreplay game from etsy parentheses i warned you and in case you were wondering okay i don't want to say it because it's going to spoil it but here's the uh etsy link it's called joyful couple Printable Foreplay Game Sex Game Digital Download. Okay. So it's 50 sexy and teasing activities for an amazing foreplay.

God, I hate that I'm reading this. For an amazing foreplay. Wow. Printable. That sounds sexy. Instant download. And then it has a picture of a mouth going like this. Here, I'm just going to show you the picture. I'm glad you didn't do it with your mouth.

I didn't do it. Oh, no. It's a lip bite. The lower lip bite. But it's just the mouth yeah yeah very odd um wait so basically you're buying a pdf yeah cool cool and then you can print it if you want so this is a five star review sorry do you think there is on the torrent website someone bought this and uploaded this as a as an illegal illegally uploaded this after paying saying ha let's stick it to him yeah you get this way for free you have to get it on napster on napster or limewire sometimes they have it um this is a five-star review by maya five stars

a great father's day surprise looking forward to more surprising nights. Excuse me? Yeah. Aaron wrote, and in case you're wondering, apparently makes a great gift for Father's Day. So. Wow. I mean, I assume it's like they bought it for their partner. Yeah, their partner for Father's Day. I mean, I hope so.

Like read the room. I don't know. Literally anything else would not be okay. Erin wrote, I don't even know what to say. I figured out the context, but I still hate it. It's like, it's very jarring. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say in my experience, just as a son who has a father, I feel like Father's Day isn't the sexiest holiday.

No. Or it's meant to be. I mean, it's, I don't know. No, right? Like, it just seems like an odd thing to be, whatever. I mean, listen, people, you do your own thing. But a great Father's Day surprise. Looking forward to more surprising.

I don't like it. Happy Father's Day. Here's a four-plate PDF. I know. a great father's day surprise looking forward to more surprising that i don't like it happy father's day here's a four-plate pdf i know and you're you're kids making waffles for dad and you're like here you go and print it out put it on the counter yeah like like the son makes like a macaroni necklace or something and then you make like you print out this some weird fantasy you've got going i'm just saying like a normal father's day from from you know what i see on the internet or the bling if you're listening to this in uh 10 years uh stop your mother wants a macaroni necklace i do and uh foreplay pdf from your father no no no no no no no no no no no

um so that's that your turn yeah hopefully Yeah, hopefully my nibbling will not be listening to this in 10 years. I really hope not. That's too soon. Too soon. Too soon. See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor. Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster.

The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online, no bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Okay, my next one is from Sarah Sheher. This is a product titled, Wall Monkey's Senior Woman with Asthma Inhaler Wall Decal Peel and Stick Graphic. What? 18 inches height by 15 inches width. 18 inches height by 15 inches width 18 inches it is a wall decal of a an elderly woman stock photo

basically yeah with an inhaler or using an inhaler it's like a full picture photograph of a woman as a decal it's quite amazing um there is uh, I want to look at the questions and answer. Okay. Questions and answers. So, the top question is, how easy is it to get off? The answer is, not very easy. You can't even see all of her.

Stop it, Alexaner. I hate that you're doing this, even though I just did this. God damn it. Ben, here's a review. This is a five-star review. This is so bad. This is by Frank. Thank you for creating the perfect gift.

My sister decided to give herself asthma by smoking, so I decided to get this for her and put it on her wall so she can see what future she will be living. Thank you for creating the perfect gift. Oh my god! End of review. That's horrible. 171 people found this helpful.

Oh my god! It's better than Father's Day, I guess. True, true. These people need to... Oh yeah, Blaze is getting a different kind of wall decal lessons in gift giving oh my god what if what if what if that pdf from etsy could be made into a wall decal no and put on your bedroom ceiling Well, also, I think it's like many pages. You have a decently sized ceiling.

Stop. We'll make it work. I'll come over. I'll bring my ladder. Oh, no. I made the mistake. Oh, no. Blaze and I will open a couple of brews.

Stop. I'll sit in our stoppage. But not joking, I accidentally, well, I didn't accidentally, but I made the mistake of scrolling to some of the examples um one of them is called oh my so this is the least sexy sounding thing ever not that i am really should be a judge for i should really be a judge for that but can i give can i can i hear an example like what is oh my okay oh my is wait wait do you roll a die or something what happens do you just pick a number it's their Like, what is oh my? Okay. Oh my is take. Wait, wait, wait. Do you roll a die or something? What happens? Do you just pick a number?

It's their like little cards. Oh, they're cards. Oh, I understand now. Oh my. Take a spanker. Parentheses. Paddle, spatula, or ruler. Okay.

Like, I feel like there are not that many things you can do with a spanker. Rub it against your partner's private parts. With some light spanking around the private area. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Please don't. What? That's their example?

Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Like, pick that as your example. I'm just, this is just no good for, no good. You will receive one PDF file with a set of instructions and rules, 50 printable cards with descriptions, and 10 printable blank cards for you to fill in. Listen, it's a bestseller. It's like 10 pieces of paper for putting whatever you want in them? Okay.

And then they give you blank ones that are literally 10 pieces of paper. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like 10 pieces of paper to write something. Why don't you just write your own for all of them? They're probably better. Oh, here's some other'm saying. It's like 10 pieces of paper to write something. Why don't you just write your own for all of them? They're probably better. Oh, here's some other examples. Thigh massage. Massage your partner's thighs with your hands.

I've gotten a thigh massage from a masseuse. Did you hand over this voucher? I have one coupon. No, I handed her a spatula. spatula but there's one called sharp sensations oh no that one says

blindfold your partner and drive over his body wait hang on I gotta zoom in with like a Hot Wheels car a draw over his body. Wait, hang on. I got to zoom in. With like a Hot Wheels car? A draw over the body with something sharp. And don't say what it is. Oh my God. I can't tell you what this is, but don't move an inch because you'll get very, very injured.

But it's a knife. Okay, I'm done reading these. Oh, man. It's great for father's day. No. Oh, my God. Oh, for that special daddy in your life. Okay.

My next one is technically a five star. It's technically a five star. This was sent in by Angel, who calls it a redemption, parentheses, question mark. Oh, no. This is my kind of redemption. And I agree. So this is of the JYX karaoke machine with wireless microphone, portable Bluetooth speaker with adjustable shoulder strap, treble and bass, pa system support uh radio ox in recording perfect for party festival or meeting or meeting that sounds like a price is right description it

does doesn't it yeah yeah here is a uh five star um review by david jesus christ is the only name you can receive salvation. I love the sound. I use it to street preach and bring glory to Christ Jesus, the savior of the whole world. And truly the volume is pretty great. The price is amazing. Considering the great quality you're going to get out of the speaker. This speaker definitely is going to grab attention with the volume and is

pretty clear in tune as well. So great for preaching and music. LOL, learned recently that I can actually preach and play a song in the back, LOL. But it is a karaoke machine, haha, but I obviously didn't get it for that, but let me not babble. Buy it, great price, can't beat, it's definitely worth it. Believe in Jesus, he is the only way, truth and the life, you can't beat it's definitely worth it believe in jesus he is the only way truth and the life you can't know god if you don't know jesus he died for your sin so you won't be separated from god for all of eternity repent turn from your wicked ways confess your sins to god and he will cleanse

you read the bible and follow jesus by grace are we saved through faith in christ jesus the son of the living god and of holy mother of god okay pray for us sinners pray for us now and at the hour of our death i that person was preaching and hit voice to text there's no other explanation that is the speed that is the yeah that's over the loudspeaker yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole thing. It probably had a function. You can click the button, five-star review, and then whatever you say into the microphone goes directly to Amazon as a review. He's having his own festival. Right.

Isn't that the option? Festival? Yes, festival. Party or... Or meeting. It's all three if you ask me. He's having all three. All three at once.

In the glory of God. Oh, praise be. I talked about this in maybe the episode that's coming after this. I don't, yeah. The final Halloween episode, I think I talked about Midnight Mass, that show. What was so funny to me, no spoilers, but Midnight Mass, there's mass like catholic mass within the show that's not funny um so warning for everybody uh but the thing with it was like that they use that as like the creepy bits whereas like part of the creepiness was just yeah catholic mass and it was like all

as i was watching i was like i can't believe I went to mass and sat through this and said these words. And it all seemed so normal. I'm telling you, it's like the chanting. Well, that's why I feel like Catholics are perfect prey for these spooky Halloween stuff. Because they believe in demons very seriously. Very ritualistic. Very symbolic. everything's just very i don't know intense scary yeah uh you know i feel like catholics are raised to believe in

exorcism and demons and shit it's just part of the part of the festival part of the meeting part of it. Wow. That was... Honestly, this karaoke machine, one star. I don't want to hear that coming through my neighborhood. Shit. Okay, hold on.

I got to cancel an order. Give me a sec. Oh, boy. Okay. oh boy um okay i have uh an email here from lydia and this is actually a little different because this is basically lydia's review of a place oh okay lydia this let's judge you relentlessly well the subject of the email is i met tom gasco at the vacuum cleaner museum oh my god yeah and if you don't remember it was our obscure museums my episode uh here lydia gives some backstory dear sheafers i'm a newish fan and just listened to obscure museums on a road trip with my little brother throughout the entire episode i was reminded of my own hellish experience at an

obscure museum so when you said the words vacuum museum in a small town in missouri my brother and i were absolutely floored and i nearly screamed laughed us off the road the story of my visit to the vacuum cleaner museum is infamous in our family lore i visited the vacuum museum my junior year of college 2016 and had an absolutely miserable time when i looked up reviews parentheses because frankly the two of you did not stay on topic ouch lydia us never please how dare you i was shocked to see that every single review was well the thing i remember the i still remember the review i read which was i decided tom gasco wrote it about himself because oh yeah tom gasco is a genius yep yep um i was shocked to see that

every single review is glowing and gushing with the praise of tom gasco and his boundless wealth of vacuum knowledge i can't relate here's what happened oh here we go wild i was majoring in industrial design and one of our teachers took my class on a field trip that included tours of his workplace he primarily designed vacuums and vending machines and multiple plastic factories none of them were near each other so this trip involved hours of driving across illinois and missouri in addition to the tours themselves the day was getting a bit excruciating and we were wrapping up with a tour of a vacuum factory i thought that was the end of the trip and we were headed home but there was a vacuum museum next door and our cheat and our teacher said we should drop in and meet a man named Tom who knows more about

vacuums than anyone else. Drop in. Ha. As soon as we walked into the vacuum museum and met Tom Gasco, I knew we would not be leaving anytime soon. Tom had a gleam in his eye that said he could and would expound on vacuums for an eternity. I remember trying to back out of the front door and telling my friend it was a trap, but she laughed my concern off, probably because the entire museum is only a few hundred square feet and we were just dropping in. The vacuum cleaner museum is really just a room with vacuums arranged around the wall. However, Tom had something to say about every single vacuum, and our guided tour wrapped up a full two hours later. The man walked us through the entire history of vacuum cleaners at a snail's

pace and it was absolute torture. At the end of the tour, Tom brought out a piece of carpet, a plastic container, and the newest Dyson vacuum cleaner model. One of my classmates played along and asked what was in the container. He announced that it was full of dirt, which he sprinkled generously across the carpet, pausing to ask, ask and what is dirt we just stared at him and gobsmacked exhaustion till he yelled do you know the answer um food for vacuums i like that but no it's ruinous to rugs as if this was something he had drilled into us earlier and we were failing an important pop quiz. You probably were. It sounds like you were tired and weren't paying attention.

You were gobsmacked with exhaustion. Maybe you were off topic, Lydia. Sounds like it. This sounds very on. When you go to a vacuum museum, this sounds like exactly what goes on. Tom is extremely on topic. Yeah. And what is dirt?

Ruin is to rugs. and what is dirt ruinous to rugs then he vacuumed up the dirt with maniacal enthusiasm insisting that james dyson himself had consulted him on the features of this new design and assuring us it was worth the splurge for months afterwards my friend and i had a bit where one of us would yell what is dirt and the rest of us would shout ruinous to rugs i tried to make this email as short as possible but as the details come flooding back it has been difficult to be succinct i am obviously still processing the experience and i'm haunted by the sign on the door that said thanks for getting sucked in what a nightmare best lydia sounds like you were as succinct as one tom gasco so you two have something in common whether you like it or not sorry lydia i set you up for failure by reading that part of the email.

But yeah, thanks for getting sucked in. It sounds like a man passionate about vacuums. It sounds terrible out there. It sounds. Hey, I'm on Tom Gasco's side here. No, I'm not. Like, he didn't do anything wrong. I thought he was going to do something terrible.

But he just has a passion for vacuums. He's going to say hi, and then he like... I think this is the fault of the person who... The person, the professor, whoever it was. The professor clearly knew Tom Gasco and should have known, right? Like, this isn't going to be a quick trip. Yeah.

Like, to say, oh, we're going to meet a man named Tom who knows more about vacuums than anyone else in the world. Yeah. This teacher knew what they were doing. Oh, yeah. I would blame the teacher knew what they were doing. Oh, yeah. I would blame the teacher, not Tom Gasco. Hey, Tom Gasco had an opportunity to spread his passion. And maybe it did actually affect someone in that class.

It probably affected most people negatively, like in this case. But, hey, I think he sounds very passionate. I could, I don't, I don't know. There's some things that I could just talk about forever. Just because you're passionate doesn't mean you have to read the room and be like, okay, these young people are exhausted and don't want to take a pop quiz about vacuums. I don't know. We don't know that.

I'm on Lydia's side here. Why? Because this sounds terrible, Alex and her. Okay, but maybe not to everybody. I'm not saying I would enjoy it. I know, but it sounds terrible to me. But I blame the professor if they were doing all of that in that day and then allowed this to go on for that long. It's not Tom Gasco's fault that he was just given his tour. He was doing his probably normal tour,

and he was showing everybody like he normally does at his museum. Two hours. Yeah. If someone says, we just wanted to stop by, you don't get to say, okay, sure. And then two hours later be like, you can leave now. If they actually were just planning to stop by, then the professor would have ended it sooner. I don't know. That's how I see it.

All right, fine. I love you, Tom Gasco. I thought he did. Based on how it was set up, I thought he did something terrible. I oh god what did he do is he a terrible human being but now i'm like huh yeah he's just a vacuum genius who's misunderstood all right all right all right all right you go there and you do your tour and we'll talk later okay on my way now my last one this is sent in by caroline she her and here is a review of the cutie bowen queen blonde wig lace front for women uh ombre sorry ombre sorry for women ombre ombre i've never said it out loud now i know ombre blonde lace front wigs natural hairline glueless straight hair with baby hair it is

a wig okay all right this is a five-star review titled my first wig purchase the redemption just received our wig yesterday this and they included a picture is my mother in the wig seeing this picture you wouldn't know that she is battling breast cancer after two treatments my mother lost all her hair can you imagine the feeling well thanks to this wig my mom feels a little bit better about herself. And us girls know how much that means to us. Wig comes in perfect condition. It was affordable and also comes with fake lashes. I'm so happy with my purchase.

We're new to this wig thing, but we will get the hang of it and she will rock it. End of review. They said that at the end, like, because they included pictures which i think it looks wonderful but they were probably worried that people would see it and be like oh like the wig isn't on correctly so at the end in parentheses i was like oh we're new to this oh my god but i think it looks great i love it and it comes with fake eyelashes yeah how fun is that cool um yeah she looks splendid i would never have guessed oh what a nice review and also a bummer but yeah but mostly nice yeah well i have uh one left too and it's also redemption so this is uh an email sent in by amanda she her and it is of the Adore 31-inch Kraken the Giant Squid Plush Stuffed Animal toy on Amazon. And Amanda says, I got Target marketed for this stuffed squid, obviously.

As I was pondering purchasing him, I went down to the reviews when this one caught my eye. So this is a five-star review. It's a redemption of the squid toy. you it's a redemption of the squid toy the title is relentless child of the sea prologue oh my god sorry it's like moby dick or something my kid is effectively in my mind still a toddler at age five was already begging me to take her scuba diving and is telling everyone she wants to be a marine biologist what a nerd right haha phew anyways so this child is crushing me with cephalopod plushie needs she probably has about 15 of them and it's getting out of hand makes no sense why she likes these things so much and i'm gonna find out what her shrink thinks on monday she has zero fear of ocean creatures and has already asked if she can swim with some sharks.

I told her if she kept being mean to her brother, she definitely would end up swimming with them. She just giggled. She's obsessed with octopus slash squid and sat there and watched my octopus teacher grinning the whole time while the TV remote was shaking in my hands with anticipation as at the forefront of my mind was the imminent death of this thing. My generation's animal trauma came from watching Atreyu struggle to the bitter end while his beautiful horse Artax drowned in that damned swamp. To this day I can't even look at a horse without crying so thanks mom. Watching this weird Danish dude swim half naked with the cutest octopus of all time in 29 degree water made me realize I And then the section is called All Caught Up. Okay, so that was a prologue. That was a prologue. with turning the TV off than letting her witness her favorite sea creature get murked by a shark.

And then the section is called All Caught Up. Okay, so that was a prologue. That was a prologue. Okay. And now we're all caught up. Okay. I don't feel like I am, but I'll take their word for it.

Okay. So in order to get her to agree to not watch the rest of Octo Teacher, I was like, you can pick out a plushie online. After looking around, she honed in on this Adore Kraken looking one. Cool. Click. Arrived today. like you can pick out a plushie online after looking around she honed in on this adore kraken

looking one cool click arrived today she flipped out and is playing with it as i type so mission accomplished slow down g dubs this here kraken is defective af one not as described at 31 inches end to end measured 28 inches and that was stretched out so it will look more like it is around two feet. Not that big a deal honestly. Number two. Three of the tentacles were not stuffed so they ended up looking all thin and flimsy. At first I thought it was intentional but then the remaining seven were stuffed and rigid. This could not have been intentional as it would make no sense to do this. I do not have another one to compare so I cannot be certain. I won't be returning it for another either as this kid could care less

than has already named it and is planning their lives together final thoughts it's cute, kid loves it but kind of weak on the quality control with some defectiveness going on at the end of the day she doesn't care so I'm just writing this review and then moving on with my life because my tremendous internal reserve of integrity and honor

is compelling me to make this known three cheers for half naked Danish dudes that swim with cephalopods My tremendous internal reserve of integrity and honor is compelling me to make this known. Three cheers for half-naked Danish dudes that swim with cephalopods. Hip hip hooray. That was helpful. And I actually realized I didn't know. Any half-naked Danish dudes? I didn't know what the star rating was. It was a three star.

My bad. I went and clicked the link to check. Three stars and it's a verified purchase. That was quite the review a three star my okay i went and clicked the link to check three stars um and it's a verified purchase that was quite the review for three star i mean it was just a lot i feel like it's very helpful though in that i mean it's a lot yeah but it's very helpful in that like hey it had some quality control issues but my child loved it no it was a solid review but it was we could have used that in the beanie baby ones where they were like, the dorsal fins were all blah, blah, blah. True, true.

And I didn't even buy it. Yeah. I feel like this is a good in-between. On this page, here's one by Michelle, five stars, verified purchase. Yes, I'm a 30-year-old who decided to buy a stuffed squid. No regrets. It's frigging adorable, and it even has a little beak. Aw.

People love this thing. It has great reviews. So I'm hoping that Amanda bought it. Amanda, let us know. Well, look how cute it is. I made a mistake. What? I typed in stuffed squid, and it's all about eating them.

Oh, no. Type in squid plushie. That's better. Okay, thank you. I found Schubert the squid. Is it a beanie baby? No. Oh.

I don't think so. So, yeah. So, that's that. I love him. I'm attached to him. And I love that the daughter was just beside herself, even though it's like her 16th squid plushie. Oh, you can never have too many squid plushies if you ask me so anyway that's all i've got for you zany yeah i'm out as well i am out as well thank you

everyone for this lovely month of october and for uh understanding that uh we recorded all of these basically in the past week. Everything we've recorded is in September. It's the 28th right now. And this is the last one we're recording for. Wow, the whole month. Yeah, the entire month is done. We've done it in the last week, yeah.

So it's a lot, but we got it all done. If you listen to the back-to-back, like maybe things make more sense. I feel like sometimes maybe our brains went a little yeah i think we swapped two we ended up swapping two episodes i think we talked about that as well in one of the why do we do that though because we felt like we wanted the halloween ones to be in order because we did a halloween one and then in the middle we did a separate one or something we wanted people to send reviews and then we ended up recording everything anyway no it was something about the it was halloween's being back yeah yeah just

through the month of october instead of one at the end of september and then the rest so anyway uh thank you all for listening um we'll be back with a normal episode well you'll get the normal halloween episode in a few days and then yeah back to whatever the hell happens in november who knows it's a big question mark big question mark thanks everyone though bye Bye.