Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 30

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. And if you're just joining us, we're live from Evan's living room. It looks like Evan is about to purchase tickets to today's match. Kate, the real test is, will he use the BMO Toronto FC cashback MasterCard? Well, if he wants to earn cashback on his purchases, he will, and... Oh, hang on. He's at the computer with his card, he's done it. Clicky click magic trick. The clicker around the room. You guys just about finished. Sorry, we got excited. Thanks for snagging those tickets. Make every purchase highlight worthy with the BMO Toronto FC cash back master card. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello there, and welcome to Between You and Us. This is the episode where we read emails from you that you included attached reviews to. Yep. You know, prepositions aren't supposed to go at the end of sentences. I'll do better. I promise to. Okay. We are going to read reviews that you sent in and they are pretty great. We are doing this monthly, as always. This is the November november episode as always we've definitely never missed a month always wink uh yeah some of the emails i've went through said i'm so glad you're doing these again and i was like the first one i'm i read um i'm reading they

said at the end they said ps i've decided to do something evil and schedule send this for the week of between you and us in the hopes that you'll see it more easily hopefully you do another one dot dot dot oh wait what do you mean the week of between you and us so like because that was i mean we were pretty clear that we would do it like third monday of the month but we stopped i like that we say we were clear about that when it's like the least clear schedule we did that briefly so that must have been this was january 1st of 2021 so that this was sent in oh so it didn't work quite the way that they intended but it worked because you found it it made it to me eventually that's incredible um should i go ahead and read it are we ready for it let's just

go for it uh this is from rachel's uh she they thank you rachel um and rachel also included a story and i'm not gonna read the whole story i read the whole story i'm not gonna read it out loud and i think you should check it out later about um getting someone trying to lure her into an mlm because it was right after our mlm episode and um yeah my mind was too far into it and that's why you drink when i heard the word lure and i was like oh no i sometimes mlm i would love to read that story yeah no it's it's funny in a very you know mlme way so i'm glad that you made it out so here though is a review um oh and are from, um, Rachel and her friend grace. So this first one,

I don't really know what, I think this is some sort of skincare. It was, it wasn't clear, uh, but it looks like it's a skincare site. And on the left has a person's name, neither Rachel nor grace,

uh, has a different person's name. And then it says mungus M U N Gn-g-u-s and then it says state alaska age 18 to 24 skin type sensitive skin care gentle cleansing so like they gave it's like the background of the reviewer a skin care profile right so i assume this is some sort of um it reminds me of that perfume fragrantia or whatever fragrantica oh yeah grantica oh yeah maybe well this is for something that you put on your face excellent you'll you'll see this but this is a four-star review so here it is has a smell i like my fragrance cold like james bond

i don't think faces should smell what do you think about the face you want it coldly icy emotionless and shaken not stirred end of review that was a forced metaphor they tried um did they yeah a little too hard i'd say when they say like james bond do they mean they want their face to be cold as cold as james bond or like james bond also likes things to be cold okay oh maybe because i couldn't follow that logic i know it's shocking that i couldn't follow it but my thing thinking was oh they want their face to be like james bond's face i see oh i don't know if that makes any sense third option that i didn't think but the one that makes probably the most sense um i guess when one thinks of a face they want it to be cold i mean maybe famously

james bond said quote i don't think faces should smell oh maybe that was a quote was that from goldfinger yeah yeah gold yeah it was all about different body parts and cleansing of different body parts, you know. Oh. Yeah, that got weird. I'm so sorry. Yikes. Well, that's a weird one. Thank you to Rachel and Grace.

I have one here from Michaela who says, Christine, I love you and I follow you on everything. Alex, your voice is super soothing. Okay, I'll take it. I was like, where's my thing well you're not not soothing enough my name is michaela and i'm a waitress at home run pizza in wisconsin all right here's a review it's a three-star review by michael and it has a response from owner heard great things about this pizza we ordered delivery and was surprised to see a shabby looking older man presenting our pizza. That didn't bode well for us and we were right.

The pizza was mediocre at best. Not great, not terrible. Good value for the money but won't be ordering again. So like... That's not just me. Ouch. Yeah, really fucking rude. And here's a response from the owner.

I'm sorry to hear this. I think you may have the wrong business. We don't have any shabby looking delivery drivers that work for us. Although I wouldn't recommend judging a restaurant's food by the look of a delivery driver. I like that the sentiment is you shouldn't judge. But to be clear, we don't have anybody shabby working for us. But especially don't judge us because we wouldn't have someone like that. I mean, like, you know, don't be critical of other shitty restaurants that have really shabby delivery drivers but not us not us

um so yeah that was just kind of a weirdly rude that was weirdly rude like since when do people do that and he said he said it's so matter of factly like well obviously weird this guy's beard didn't bode well for us like as if that actually validate you know like that as if the quality of the pizza validates that opinion it's so annoying that they're like oh see i was right i i was right to judge based on the look of the i looked right on him and i knew makes no sense um my next one is uh was sent was sent in by, uh, Taya. She, her, uh, Taya owns a bowling alley. Cool. Can I cop?

Um, no, you cannot. I can't let me check. Yes, I can. You cannot. Oh, so here's a one-star review. Um, I'm going to go to home run pizza cause she follows me on everything. So, you know what um so this review is not i don't think this is of her because she says i own a bowling alley and

due to that i'm in a handful of facebook groups with other bowling alley owners around the country to bounce ideas off of each other vent and silently judge everyone else's lanes facebook sucks but i do like that they have these groups for such specific yeah groups of people yeah um and then one of them posted that they had some bizarre one-star reviews so i had to go investigate so here's one this is a one-star review this is a executive strike and spare here's a one-star review this is by wendy wasn't a lot of people there my husband took me there to drive around the parking lot to learn how to drive end of review one star one star oh no it's all one one sentence wasn't a lot of people there my husband took me there to drive

around the parking lot to learn how to drive it was such a bummer there weren't more people in the parking lot that i could practice to drive around it happened to be at 2 a.m on a thursday but oh my god i also i love the idea i love the idea that what did they say like oh somebody said they got some really weird one-star reviews i love the idea that this owner of this executive bowling is like i don't know what i'm doing but like people show up to do driving tests like this is the most random one-star reviews. She included a second one. It was a one-star review speaking positively about the experience, but it was still one-star. I just feel like this owner just can't win.

They're like, I'm doing perfect. Everyone's having a good time. Bummer. Bummer. Well, Sophie has an email. Everyone's having a good time. Yeah. Oh, bummer. Bummer. Well, Sophie has an email for us or a review for us. I'm just going to jump into it. This is a three-star review on Yelp by Mark, and it's of a church, but it doesn't say which one. When I step into churches, sometimes I get the wow factor, and I get an impression I am being watched.

But unfortunately not with this church what unfortunately correct you you want to feel like you're being watched big man looking down on you we can make that happen okay I haven't been since it was reopened on the first November so it may feel different now maybe it is because this is a church trying to be modern and to attract all people, religious or not. Either way, this place is steeped in history, so will always be worth checking out as people are so helpful. I once went in during my break from work and the priest walked me around the building for ages, filling me in with lots of interesting stories. So go

visit, be friendly, and I am sure you will not be let down end of review but you will not be watched i'm so confused yeah i think he's trying to say he likes to feel like insignificant yeah like in awe you know what i mean i don't know um i don't know but i i'm i think i don't go to church but i feel like if i read this i'd be like, I think that might be the one for me. If you said I go here and I feel like I'm being watched, I don't think I would find that to be really enticing. I guess I know I get like, especially going to some of those like European cathedrals and you go and you're like, holy shit.

But my first thought is I'm being watched. My thought is, wow, I'm being watched you're just like my thought is wow i'm being watched and i love it okay but did you know in those old churches they used to have little hidey holes where people the priests would watch people oh there you go i'm not even kidding like in the old cathedrals um they would sometimes have like in between uh like decorative you could see like little slits in the in the architecture and it would be places where the priest could look down and like see the congregation kind of cool he's literally watching cool yeah i would i would want that job into that no i would i i would be not be a priest

okay i don't want to be a priest but i want want to be the one watching. I know. They didn't sell that to us. I'll watch. Mark, is that his name? Yeah. I'll watch Mark. Yeah. Okay. Mark, if you want to feel like you're being watched, just go to church and I'll hide in those.

I do think about that sometimes. All these massive cathedrals and you're like, there are probably so many rooms that aren't open to the public that are just there. Or like little hallways and stuff upstairs. Yeah. Creepy and cool probably. I know. And I've seen like on tours where they show you like do you see that weird gap like that's where the priest would watch you and you're like look how this is where they put their money is into

these massive churches think of how many people died till i built this freaking thing okay well it's very depressing and now you well it's worth it because you can go inside and go and feel like well which is funny too because i'm like what is he doing up there watching you? Like, that sounds fun. I feel like he's up there like before the mass starts and everyone's like, where is he? Where is he? Where is he?

And he's up there like trying to build up suspense, you know? When we had our show in New York, we had their, they had the screens in the back. Yes. In the green room. Yes. At Spotify. Mark, come to our show. You'll feel like you're being watched.

I sat there and i was like oh there's simon like my friend simon showed up and i was like there he is i was like what's blaze doing what is he doing over there who's he talking to so i was less uh i was just more nosy anyway your turn here come the carrots making their way up field followed by the whole wheat bread over to the two dozen eggs sir do you do this every time sorry i've been a little excited ever since i got this bmo toronto fc cashback mastercard oh and the broccoli boots it over the line what a goal how would you like to pay sir credit please make every purchase a win with the bmo toronto fc cashback mastercard with up to five% cashback on your purchases in your first three months.

Terms and conditions apply. Okay. I've got one now. This is from Sarah, uh, who was trying to find some crafting supply stores and found a review of a hobby lobby. Ooh,

this is a two-star review of a hobby lobby. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. That's not how that goes come on it's beginning to look a lot like christmas there we go what do you think i said i wanted you to sing oh okay it's beginning to look a lot like christmas christmas is all caps excellent wait what in the name of uranus's blue anus is going on with the hobby lobby it's 107 degrees under the shade in the refrigerator what and apparently it's apparently it's to this person it's a saying it's 107 degrees under the shade in the refrigerator

saying it's like so hot that it's even 107 degrees. I see. I thought there was a literal refrigerator there. Okay. And the hobby has decided to stock its lobby full of Christmas stuff. I have never felt so sad for the holiday. I have never felt so sad for the store. I've never felt so sad in general. I see the spirit of Christmas being pimped out earlier and earlier every year just so the stores can cash in on a once beloved holiday hell just keep the damn tree up all year round don't even bother cleaning the cat piss and chihuahua from the tree skirt oh let's beat this tired horse to death then america hobby lobby you ain't the only store doing it but i'd hope that you above all would honor and respect the warm and loving season that used to come around once a year in December.

Now I'm pausing to ask you, when do you think this review was written? I don't know. Here's the next, I'm going to finish up. You now begin beating that tired horse four days after the 4th of july hobby lobby get bent end of review and there's a picture of all these different christmas fake christmas trees um wait this was not did it actually they did this in july yeah oh oh it's

christmas in july thing it must be must be so i was joking when i said oh i know but yeah it was 107 degrees i guess yeah yeah wow i mean wow i love that you know i agree if anybody is going to be respectful and you know really think about the little guy it's hobby you know what i mean yeah but i guess if anyone's gonna say jesus is the reason for the season it is also hobby lobby so maybe they're trying to spread it out you know maybe i could i i could see them making most of their money each year on christmas stuff and that's the same with things like qvc like i understand why there's they feel the need to do a christmas in july special because they probably have so much christmas shit yeah they

gotta unload so yeah well there's one thing i know for sure and that's i've never been so sad in my entire life yeah that was a little dramatic just a tad dramatic wow i've never been so sad for for the store or in my life wow that yeah i got it i mean that person must have been stopped in their track the way they reacted to this they must have gone for some glitter glue and just been bowled over by this place because they had a rough day after that, it sounds like. Yeah, it ruined, it sounds like ruined their life. Yeah, they spiraled and never stopped spiraling. I weirdly don't blame them.

Oh, well, I mean, I don't blame them, but also like, I hope they're okay. Well, yes, I do too. I don't blame them but also like i hope they're okay i mean well yes i do too i don't know it looks like you i i don't i wouldn't wish this christmas in july spiral on anyone one time i went to hobby lobby to buy good start sorry i know well this was uh there's no good excuse i didn't really realize at the time what i was trying to put my money toward i say trying because i didn't buy anything because i went looking for like just generic christmas cards to send out well i didn't realize how heavily christian themed and to the point that they have uh two whole aisles of christmas cards i could not find one that didn't say some sort of blessings or you know nothing yeah no i believe it i've

half of them had a freaking manger on the front so anyway it sounds about right it wasn't july though i promise i'm not that prepared okay so i have uh an email here from suzy she her and it says i was browsing amazon for workout tops and came across this shirt and sweet review with a picture that made me chuckle so i'm going to show you the picture after okay here's the review it's one star by jessica and it says you will own let me actually read the name of the product because she sent a link this is a review of sweaty rocks women's tie-dye sleeveless workout casual cropped tank top shirts it's actually quite adorable i'll show you show you yeah so it's just like a tie-dye crop top workout crop top and it's a here's a one-star review by jessica titled you will not get what you paid for i ordered the marble print crop top instead of

getting what i ordered i ended up with a black crop top that says always hungry also the shirt was so small it would fit a toddler wouldn't recommend ordering this end of review so now there's a picture of a crop top this is always hungry um but instead of jessica wearing it it's a little kitty cat because i guess she was trying to prove that it actually is the size of a toddler and this cat fills out this crop top pretty well it looks great it looks great i think that should be a five-star review i toddler and this cat fills out this crop top pretty well it looks great it looks great i think that should be a five-star review i agree and this cat looks just thrilled you can see the blur of his tit well oh that's bad with the cat huh you can see his tail is clearly flicking around

oh does that mean they're gonna like attack or they're not happy usually at least with my cats with juniper means like please stop bothering me uh but always hungry i love that you just open a package and you did not ask for this but now it's calling you out uh yeah that's rude actually that's a good point i would be like how dare you i mean it's true but how dare you you know so i guess you didn't have a toddler to but it sounds but that sounds like a toddler thing that is a toddler thing right always hungry always hungry thing no i think it's like a toddler thing. That is a toddler thing, right? Always hungry. The always hungry thing. No, I think it's like a workout shirt. You know what I mean? Yeah, like I love tacos.

I feel like they do dumb stuff like that. I mean, I could totally see that being for a toddler. You're like, look at my baby. It's always hungry. I guess so. You know, that's a thing, right? Yeah, I guess so. I'm looking at the original link.

And interestingly enough, the always hungry is not an option. So I don't know where that came from. Weird. Here's just a nice little gift. An insult gift. I love it. Oh, my God. I found it.

I found it. I found it. Sweaty rocks. Women's casual sleeveless round neck workout crop tank top shirts. Here it is. Always hungry. I was just trying to listen to the title. So I had my eyes closed. I was like, what are you doing seep in always hungry in multiple different

colors but then also the only other words that they have are my body not yours i mean true that would have been alarming to receive as well although that is a weird the cat probably would have been like yes that's why my tail is flicking please stop putting crop tops on me but yeah that's the only other uh cat would appreciate that one my body not yours like leave me the fuck alone please stop putting clothes on me so anyway your turn my next one this is from um this is a five star this is a redemption um i'm sorry. What? Are you looking at more tank tops? Well, so I saw one and I was like, what's that?

And it's newspaper print. Okay. But there's, you can read the headlines. I saw that in the FC Cincinnati. I went to a game and their wallpaper is newspaper print. And there's some weird shit in there. I think they just print it and don't, like don't look because there was something about like it was something like really like something like someone was arrested for something and it was like not funny it was like weird it was not good forget what it was exactly usually when someone's arrested

it's good and funny yeah I just I mean like it wasn't like some goofy old-timey like oh this person got a because i've read so much newspaper from uh yeah well but like even sillier stuff than that has been in the newspaper but it was like something very serious and i'm like peeing at the urinal i'm like what the fuck oh it's in the bathroom yeah in the bathroom that's why i didn't take a picture because i was like i can't just whip out my phone take a picture in the bathroom with all these other people you could but yeah probably would have been a weird day. Yeah. So, well, here, like, here's a headline.

Like, here's a crop top. See, it's like a collage of newspaper articles. It looks like you're wearing the newspaper. It looks wild. Which I guess is probably the point. And here's an upside down headline. Pressure for more USA gambles on his future. I mean. Like talking about Eisenhower or some shit.

Like what? Yeah. Oh, oh no. It says like missile crisis. See, I'm like, she's a Cuban missile. People are not looking very closely when they make this kind of stuff. Oh God. Here's a George Bush is in here.

Um, anyway. Weird. Okay. That's, that's uncomfortable. So at least she didn't receive that as a crop top shirt true you i'm gonna like start reading this email and you're gonna be like oh wait there's another weird thing that she hopefully wouldn't receive on here too sorry um i'm gonna take a look at this email now are you ready but i feel like at the gym at least if somebody were staring at you like at your chest you could be like oh i'm just reading the headlines you know is that what you think of you're using gonna be using this as an excuse to stare at someone's boobs yeah

well it's not a terrible idea uh yes it is yes it is yes it is i take it back. Yes, it is. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Don't do that. Do not do that. Okay. So this email is from Mary, she, her, and Ellis, they, them, and their friend, Holly. So I'm going to actually read the email now. So I just want to give all of them a shout out. Mary says, my wife, Alice, and I are longtime listeners of your podcast. We came across this review with the help of our friend holly holly's the third wheel we thought you'd appreciate it we are both veterinarians who love spiders whoa hold on you'll see that's a very specific common interest and they own tarantulas wow long-time listeners of and that's why we drink well that's bad i was

about to say i hope they don't listen to and that's why i drink we hope skylar is still alive and well well okay, okay, great. Because M hates nothing more than Skylar, which they probably already know. The thing that they don't know is that in an upcoming episode, M goes on a long thing about, well, I guess it was about snakes, but also then throws spiders in about how much they do not like either of those animals and say i will not apologize for it um i love spiders i went on a opposite bend and i said oh i don't want to own them as pets but i i don't have a problem with either of them my friend kirsten like had a tarantula um oh yeah i forgot about that yeah it was a weird thing yeah like she doesn't strike me as someone who would own a tarantula we didn't acknowledge it much yeah i feel like i vaguely knew that and then never thought about it it was like a fun i

think it was one of those things that was just kind of understood but no one questioned and no one talked about it but it would like come out and then everyone's like oh yeah i forgot you had a train like it was always a thing like oh it was a surprise hearing it again yeah like i was just in west virginia and she like talked about it again i was like oh yeah you did have a tarantula didn't you that's so random yeah so anyway um anyway sorry so i just want to warn them that in the christmas episode and may or may not have some things to say about snakes and spiders i didn't agree so good morning um and then i said oh rats and i was like no i love rats i do too oh so anyway so mary says ps and this is allowed there's my last name is cinnamon spelled differently but it's like the spice uh so it's often referred to as dr cinnamon or dr spice okay so this is an email from dr spice i know you're married but

can i marry you also because i would love that last name. Isn't that great? Yeah. Not that I took places, but I'll take yours. So here's a review that they all sent in. The Black & Decker HNV220BCZ01FF Compact Lithium Hand Vacuum 2AH Kit Tech Gray. Thank God you read that. You're so welcome. Do you want the dimensions? Not even a little bit. 0 1 F F compact lithium hand vacuum to a H kit tech gray. Thank God you read that. You're so welcome. You want the dimensions?

Not even a little bit. Okay. Here's a five star review by Susie. Okay. So I got this to vacuum up rainbow sprinkles in my car. I dropped my ice cream and was devastated. I still haven't gotten around to vacuuming the sprinkles. I thought she was about to say, I still haven't gotten over it.

And I was like, yeah, I don't blame you. It's pretty tragic. I still haven't gotten around to vacuuming the sprinkles. They're kind of ground in now. But I did use it to vacuum all of the spiders from my basement and porches. It doesn't kill them, and I let them all go in the yard after.

To be honest, it was kind of horrifying to have like 30 spiders pour out of a hand vac at once, which I hadn't considered during the planning stages. That's the first thing I thought of. I was like, wait, so they're in there. I would suck them. Okay, I wouldn't suck them. I'd probably be afraid I'd kill them. But I'm glad to hear that this doesn't kill them.

And then I'd be like, yeah, I'd be like, oh, well, shit. What now? Now they're all in this really condensed, condensed area. Remember our bug vacuum? I've talked about this before. We had a bug vacuum that I don't remember. Yeah. You would like suck it up and then take it outside.

That's so weird. I know, but they seemed happy enough and scattered to the four corners of the yard. Godspeed. Little arachnids. End of review. Aw. Godspeed. Little arachnids end of review oh godspeed little arachnids so that's why i mentioned the love of but that's why the love of spiders was mentioned in the email i realized that after you were like that's a fun thing to be connected by i was like oh yeah it's relevant but she doesn't

know it yet wow i just figured it was relevant no matter what because fun fact it is a fun fact though yeah if you email in just talk about how much you love spiders or go for it go for it yeah i do like that this person this reviewer is like godspeed go spread yourselves across the yard but stay off my porch yep don't come anywhere near my property yep i will vacuum you up yep and toss you outside oh that's something where it's like like people always try to get me with a little little not get me that sounds a little more aggressive some people do that but a lot of people are just like curious about my they want to like throw a little philosophical hypotheticals at me just because i'm vegan yeah and one of those is a

common one is like what about like mosquitoes right and i'm like i'm gonna kill him if a mosquito is sucking my blood i will kill it like that's something where i'm like i'm gonna we got him all right i'm calling the vegan authorities if there's like i call him the va if i'm in florida and i have a deadly snake in my bedroom i'm gonna defend myself against it like if i'm in my space like if i'm like out in the woods and i get attacked like yeah i yeah, I'm going to try to defend myself, but I'm not going to bring a gun to, like, shoot something. You know what I mean? Okay. Like, in my space, like, I will protect myself from things.

Yeah, but remember my argument, which was maybe the snake was there first. Maybe the snake was there first. Yeah, like, that's its space. I mean, I would do everything I could to not kill said snake, and I would just try to shove it out and be like, I own this now. Well, you could just vacuum it up. Vacuum it up. Put it outside.

Suck it up in that bug vacuum and boop. Yeah, or just this blackened decker. Just in a blackened decker. Handheld. Anyway, I don't know why I got on this. It's just stupid. But yeah, that's what I always think of when I think of bugs. Because everyone's like, well, do you kill bugs?

I'm like, no, I don't. I don't kill spiders. I don't kill things like that. I mean, I'm not vegan. I also don't kill spiders. But if a mosquito's on me, yeah, I'm going to like swat at it. To the bane of M's existence, I don't. I don't kill spiders. I don't kill things like that. I mean, I'm not vegan. I also don't kill spiders. But if a mosquito's on me, yeah, I'm going to like swat at it. To the bane of Em's existence, I don't kill bugs. Yeah.

Remember that time? It was an early episode of Fruit Fly Got in My Wine and I was drinking a little too much and I got like really sad about it. And there's this whole half hour like drama of me trying to get the fruit fly out of my wine in the kitchen as Em just screams, kill it. Anyway, good times. Okay. This is my last one. It is from Jess. trying to get the fruit fly out of my wine in the kitchen as m just screams kill it anyway good times okay this is my last one it is from jess she they and it says hello to geo juni moon and all the hogs in the hog pen hi oh i swear i didn't see this before this is flanfo or something

no but it says but mostly hello to christine my not so secret celeb crush oh oh that's so cute you're great okay since m's not here to defend themselves i'm just gonna read this line you're great and i wish that the empire would just admit they are vastly overrated compared to the beauty that is the christine chapel anyway the empire and the christine chapel yeah yikes sorry do you have a problem with no i'm just i this is new you haven't heard me talk about the christine chapel i i'm sure i've blocked it out who wrote this email um jess okay obviously my friend okay so the photo attaches a post from the owner of heartbreak restaurant indianapolis which he posted on their public Facebook page. And it also has a response from owner.

One star by Doug. Walked out. Response from owner of Heartbreaker. We asked you to put on a mask because there's a mask mandate in Marion County. You then crumbled up a menu and threw it at my friend who was working. You can shove it, Doug. Signed, Neil Warner, owner. Hell yeah, Neil.

Tell Doug to shove it. And then Doug shared it or the restaurant shared it on the page and said, you're breaking my heart, Doug. I'm so sorry. We'll never see you again. And again, it's a heartbreaker restaurant. So I love it. Very fitting.

I love it. I love that. I didn't see that. You crumpled up a menu and threw it at me. I feel like oftentimes with the things that have been shared on social media and stuff, we've seen like a hundred times, but I haven't seen that one. Yeah. Yeah.

This was fun. I feel like Jess saw this like specifically, um, directly from the source, if you will. So that was my last one for today. Nice. I've got one more. so this was sent in by um andrea she her uh who said i've always been a tad bit jealous of others who have written in because i have never come across any bizarre reviews while scouring the internet until now guess whose review they came across fox yep no and i love it because the way they said they're like oh i came across this i'm like

of course someone with it's got to be fox yeah like i had this gut feeling yeah and sure enough it's a review by fox of charcoal avenue uh place called charcoal avenue that is very relevant yeah sorry to interrupt you but statistically speaking like if you're gonna stumble upon like if you spend enough time on yelp like odds are you will stumble upon a fox review yeah yeah anyway sorry go ahead this is charcoal avenue in dallas texas by fox five stars if the lights go out in here it's dark hole avenue and there's usually plenty of space to park coal avenue the food is never too far wide of the mark old avenue and if the food melts your face off don't panic that's just the raiders of the lost ark old avenue so let's be avenue the food here is tasty for sure, even if it is a little bit of an anglicized version

of Indian food. Still, it does have some authentic elements and good flavors, and the girl working here is an absolute angel and one of my favorite employees at any business in the Dallas area. If I'm naked in this place, it's Stark-ole Avenue, and if you bring your dog here, it's Barkole Avenue. And if your food is served in very, very, very, very tiny pieces, it's Quarkole Avenue. And if you feel good vibrations coming from a shirtless macho Republican while eating here, don't panic. That's just Marky Markole Avenue. The food is tasty and affordable and somewhere in the vast expanse between a definite

four star and an obvious five star so it could have gone either way like my sexuality however considering the excellent service and the wonderful girl and the spectacular and unique decor and the really adorable napkins i have no choice but to give this late night sleepy little food stop for indian and pakistani delights a five star rating. And to prevent fire, don't cause a spark, Ole Avenue. And if a shark swims through here, don't jump the shark, Ole Avenue. And if Cal-El is scared of the Krypton they keep in the back, then it's Clark, Ole Avenue. You know, as in Kent? Never mind. And if you need a fix of drugs, then after eating, let's go in the back and Narcole Avenue. End of review.

Oh. Some of these were very forced. My. Very unnecessary. God. They were probably arguably all unnecessary. But I guess to make it a true Fox review, they were all necessary. They were all necessary.

They were all necessary. So I just did a very weird circle, but I think we've come to the conclusion that it was necessary. Yeah. Yeah. Considering the context that it's Fox. Yes. Wow. I'm like really overwhelmed because I am very disappointed in myself. Me too.

For other reasons. I don't know why yet. For alternate reasons. Yeah. Because by verse two, I was thinking, all thinking all right i'm gonna start chiming in and i could not keep up i feel like no it's a lot like clark with uh marky mark like i just wasn't getting there fast enough and i'm disappointed in myself for that um i think my least favorite was the shark one because it's like if you see as the subway situation. If you see a shark, jump the shark.

You can't say shark. If you see a great white or something, then you jump the shark. Right. I feel like it's... But remember, we had the same problem with Subway. We did. And I feel like he really had to cram them all in here because there's not so many franchise options as there are with Subway. Yeah.

Where you could really just play around and try different things true he really had to just lay them all out at once he did his best he did a great job for what it's worth um so thank you fox i always wonder if we'll ever actually have any sort of crossover with him uh it's the idea of it's excites me but scares me terrifying really i i i feel like i just i'm not prepared i don't i don't know if that's possible spiritually mentally you know i'm definitely not prepared physically for that no certainly not no no i'm a weak weak man certainly yes also i i do love that we learned a new thing about him about his sexuality that's true wow i feel like usually it's pretty just kind of punny, you know, but this one was like,

oh. I feel like we could have, I don't know how many reviews Fox has total. It was a lot. 82 million, I think? 16,000. Jeez. 16,607. I feel like we could get a full biography figured out if we read through all those.

48,000 pictures. I think we'd have to dig through a lot of shark jump the shark situation. I have a picture of Fox too. Yeah. Let me see again. Ooh, I've never seen that one. Yeah. And then also whoever Fox was with, um, interesting photos of feet and stuff.

Oh my. Are those Louboutins? No. Oh, it's just a red vinyl tablecloth in the background yeah oh no they're just red shoes okay never mind um this is just i don't know i don't really know i don't understand but i love it oh i love it it's it's he has this is a saucy he has an aesthetic yeah it is what i can say i respect it uh fully 100 yeah oh fox anyway anyway thanks everybody thanks everybody it's always good to um leave us with a fox review i agree uh if you know fox tell him we said no don't

i'm scared no me too we're not. No, don't. I'm scared. No, me too. We're not physically ready. We are. I don't think we are. But anyway, if you have something to send in, a funny review, anything or you want to tell us about Spider, your thoughts on Spiders, please positive. Only positive.

Only positive. Email us at beach2sandy at gmail.com and send it in and we'll be back in December with more of your reviews. Talk to you soon. Bye.