Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Schiefer Madness: it's about GI troubles that we all have

Episode Date: April 18, 2020

Calling all iron maiden fans! Whether that's of the band, the medieval torture device, or our mother. We've got an uplifting? bonus episode for you where we only read the positive reviews (mostly)!!!! So come join us for a Gonzo ride in this edition of Schiefer Madness! Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Schieffer Madness colon... We'll come up with that as we go. Schieffer Madness colon. It's about GI troubles that we all have. This is a special episode, just like all our other special episodes. Every episode is special.

But in this one, we are only reading positive reviews it's time for some positivity this is um this is the time it's about time someone requested this this was recommended by sarah in our uh patreon only group on facebook recommended i guess but also like requested requested is what i meant yeah i guess Saying, can the next sheep or madness just be wholesomely wacky redemption reviews? Because I feel like recommended is more like, has a bad connotation of like, I recommend you do. This is the first time I've spoken today. So.

Oh, good. A little rusty. Good news for all of us. Hey, this is a positive redemption episode. So you have to be nice to me the entire time. That's the rule I'm setting down. That's not, have to be nice to me the entire time that's the rule i'm setting down that's not that was not recommended to me sarah ended her request by saying we need monty now more than ever why don't we just read monty's review again we probably should huh just

say the the magic words from it. No. Garlic fries, garlic fries, garlic fries. Thank you. I think that's what it was, right? Sounds about right. So I'll get us started with a review that was sent in by Marissa. Marissa says, hello, you amazing humans. I don't know if I'm supposed to read this, but not to be all TMI, but I bought this myself to deal with my rough feet from commuting in and out of Boston each day on transit.

I was very impressed by the product and found myself exclusively in the privacy of my home, sounding like a totally bananas redemption review. I'll leave it at that. So this is a review of a foot file on Amazon. A foot file? A foot file. Well, if it makes any clear i'll read the full uh title amope a mopey petty perfect electronic foot file dual speed callus remover with diamond crystals for feet extra coarse pink gadget perfect for in-home pedicure for baby smooth feet battery

operated amazon man they go over the character every single time so is this is this marissa's review no oh okay i don't know no no um this is a review uh by pace alum four stars titled worked on my crustaceans okay i just started drinking something. What? It's a positive fun review. Okay. It's all wholesome wackiness. Go ahead. So I wear heels and shoes for work all of the time, and that makes my ankles pretty rough. I get pedicures every two weeks, but the roughness outpowers the pedicure. So I bought the extra course Amope Petit Perfect. I think it's probably Amapay.

There's no accent. There's no... I don't think there needs to be an accent whatever it's definitely not a word okay well at her and tell her it is amapay petty perfect it says you can only spend three to four seconds on each spot so it took a while per foot but it actually worked Once I showered and put lotion on, they felt super soft. Fast forward to the end of day two, Krusty Krab came back and my ammo pay is back to work. So I guess if you work wearing heels at the office, it's something you should have handy. It works,

but need to be consistent. End of review. Oh, it's so funny because I feel like anytime I see someone who wears heels every day, I'm just like in awe. I can't even wear heels on a normal, like on a special occasion. Me neither. Yeah, it's tough. And so every time I see someone, I'm like, they are so elegant and like they have their shit together. And then to hear someone who wears heels every day say my crustaceans, I'm like, this really brings a new light onto this kind of a person. And I like it. Me too.

Well, thank you for that, Marissa. I hope you and your crustaceans are handling this pandemic well. Sending love to you and your crustaceans. Yeah, I guess they're probably better since you're not trans... Transporting them? Yeah, what? Commuting on them? Yeah, using public transport?

Yeah. Okay, this is a review sent in by janae it says since you're both from cincinnati i thought you might enjoy this review i found of nada oh nada yes um uh my friends and i are going there tonight and yelp didn't disappoint now the first one is a one star so i'm not going to read that but janae also sent a redemption so i'm going to read this one for those who don't know this is like the hip nice restaurant yeah it's like on fountain square you don't know what that is why did i tell you that um it's downtown i feel like most places have something called fountain square or similar so they'll be like okay our equivalent of fountain

square where like if Cincinnati had a union station that's where it would be oh wait i guess we do have that and it's not there never mind no okay but yeah i think the only nada i went to was in columbus though i've never actually been in cincinnati oh i've been multiple times i don't even know why because i don't really eat out in cincinnati much but it's like an upscale mexican restaurant yes yes yes anyway and um renee and i went there for brunch and she kept ordering tequila and then at the end while i was asking for the check the server said are you christine schieffer and i was like this is terrible terrible you're supposed to warn me before i'd have four tequila shots at 11 a.m um anyway here is a review by katherine of nada four stars my mother was strictly a campbell's tomato soup kind of

relatable i love this already i'm sorry relatable to us i don't think our mother ever fed us campbell soup no i'm she fed us like a horse sorry i'm picturing the mom being like fuck i love my campbell soup and i'm like yeah me too i it's... I was relating to the mom, not to the daughter. Oh, I see. Or the son, whatever. I just like that it's strictly Campbell's. Like, she's not chill about it. She's not like, I don't know. She's like, I do know.

And it's only Campbell's. No progresso. No pro... Don't even say that word under this roof. My mother was strictly a Campbell's tomato soup kind of gal, as was her mother before her. So the first time I tasted gazpacho somewhere in spain during my junior year junket the synapses from my tongue to my brain turned into a ralph stedman illustration a modern this is someone who would eat at nada she's truly like i love it though oh

my god a modern day psychedelic epiphany that instantly erased nearly two decades of Campbell's satisfaction. Why is she telling us this Appalachian tale? That's in there in parentheses. Like, that's like the narrator telling us our thoughts. That's the last thing I thought of was Appalachia when listening to this review. But you know what? Whatever. My cerebellum took a similar gonzo ride.

Oh, yes. Like Gonzo the Muppet? Because that's not appropriate. I can't. I guess that's how you do it with gazpacho? I don't know. I just realized I don't really get it. Gonzo ride.

Like a gondola ride? Or maybe a gonzebo? Maybe gonzo, like, oh, my brain is gonzo. Okay, never mind. I'm googling gonzo ride, and I'm nervous for what's going to pop up. Tell me. The gonzo torture race online registration. Alexander, this is a positive redemption episode.

Close your phone. Oh, I'm sorry. My cerebellum took a similar gonzo ride the first time I tried nada's gazpacho. Zing! Beamed back to Barcelona on the spot. Obsession set in. I had nada's gazpacho for lunch every week for the next three weeks, to the point that I was a little embarrassed to enter the restaurant.

No, I swear that I am not stalking the chef. That's in quotations. My passion... Thank you for that. No, no, not thank you. I'm thank you for... No, I'm not being mean to you. My passion for Nata's gazpacho has cooled.

Get it? My passion for Nata's gazpacho has cooled since that first summer. I still look forward to its return to the summer menu, but I no longer need it every day. Just now and again. Sound familiar? At any rate, I it every day just now and again sound familiar at any rate i don't get it does it sound no no it doesn't remind me of appalachia either it makes me of a gonzo ride oh please don't say that at any rate i have had other very good meals

at nada during winter fall and spring when chef offers those seasoned soups beautiful interior if loud i prefer to sit upstairs for that reason. Excellent, friendly staff who well protect Chef from overzealous gazpacho fans. End of review. I like that it's Chef. It's not The Chef. It's like, oh, I know Chef. See the thing?

I know. It's Gonzo, the chef. What I like, though, is they appreciated the one specific meal so much yeah that they were willing to write all of this and that is actually helpful because then i think okay it's a reason to go it's a meal to get i would love that sounds good it sounds great sounds great yeah thank you janae i hope you had the gazpacho that evening with your friends i hope so too yeah i want to try it now um i thought you were strictly campbell soup stay in your lane not anymore after that review um by the way so one thing i forgot to mention when i did bring up sarah who suggested we read all these positive reviews yes do you know which Sarah this is? Is this Sarah from... This is the godmother to Monty Jr., the Hatchimal.

Oh, shit. Sarah, Sarah. Sarah, Sarah. Yeah. Yes. That's right. Her middle name's Sarah, too. Yeah.

Her last name is... Oh, shoot. I should have said that. Okay, well, now that it's out, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Yeah. Godmother to Monty Jr. Do you know who got Monty Jr.? Good.

I don't want you to find out. If you don't know what we're talking about, go to our YouTube channel and watch the hatching of my Hatchimal, my son, my beloved son, Monty Jr. Yeah. I had to watch it, so you go watch it too. Yeah. So Sarah is who suggested this episode, and you can blame her if you hate it. I do. It's the godmother. I do, and I do. To my beautiful, beautiful son. Anyway, I'm gonna move on. Thank

you, Sarah. Okay, this next one is a review sent in by Mercy, who says, love your podcast so much, binged it within two weeks listening while I work. Are you okay? It's impressive. That sounds dangerous. So here's some reviews from my own workplace that gave me a laugh. It's a Texas local gas station chain called SEFCO. Here is the redemption. This is written by Dow. Four stars. Oh, Dow Jones.

Yeah, I know. That was literally the dumbest thing I've ever said. Actually, no. Last week's episode. Yeah, I know him. That was literally the dumbest thing I've ever said. Actually, no. Last week's episode. The positive episode. That was the best thing you've ever said. Okay, because when I was philosophizing last week, you had a lot to say about my intelligence. Well, it's a new day.

Okay, okay. New me. Here's what Dow has to say about SEFCO. Well, they're a gas station they sail good gas and a review so mercy thank you for sailing good gas and sending in that review i think dow has changed their opinion um listen i was gonna make a really long-winded joke about how the epidemic the pandemic has caused gas prices to fall and how dow is dow jones but it's just too much for my brain to figure out so just make make do with what you have to take all of those little puzzle pieces

put them together laugh at the joke you come up with you don't need to put them together just like put them in a little pile and then you'll probably get where my brain's at much like the puzzle that you've been working on forever that is just sitting here in many piles. Oh, me? And has had zero progress. No, look, the edge. Oh, shit.

Well, the entire edge was done until my cat had something to say about it. Oh, yeah. It does not look close to done. I was going to say the entire border was done. Now look. Sure. Okay. I know.

No one's ever going to believe me. Okay. This is, oh, this was sent in by Art, and it says, hello, I'm currently at my parents' house and decided to introduce my siblings to your podcast. Tonight, my 12-year-old sister Monica asked me if she could write some positive reviews, and she did not disappoint. Uh-oh. So there are a couple.

I'm going to read my favorite. Not Yet a Teen. Not Yet a Teen. did not disappoint oh so there are a couple i'm gonna read my favorite not yet a teen not yet a teen so allowed to listen to our show is that how that works because we banned teens we did although the teens write in and say i know i'm banned but i'm like that's such teen rebellion right there yeah i love it we're here for that okay art this is on art's account okay it's just you know future employers take note this is a review of shake shack by monica age 12 five stars great milkshakes not too fast but i'm not going to judge the milkshake was great so i don't know one of my favorite things about shake shack is that all of the straws cups lids are all compostable and recyclable one thing i would want different is if customer

service was a little bit faster and if you could please change it so that when after i eat it i don't get a brain freeze signed my 12 year old sister that's so cute it made me really pleased that the 12 year old was like i want to write positive reviews. The thing is, though, if I heard that from anyone else or didn't know it was by a 12-year-old, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and not realize it. It makes it better that it's a 12-year-old. I agree. The future of our country. The other reviews are of McDonald's, Ace Hardware, Target, Goodwill.

They're just all positive, and it's very sweet. So thank you, Art, and thank you, Monica. Thank you, Monica. Thank you, Art. I don't know if you still listen because you might have turned 13 by now, so you're not allowed anymore. But if you are here, thank you so much for putting some positivity. That generation, you know, that younger generation,

is going to fix climate change one shake shack at a time and add some positivity to yelp so i found something else this was a post made by amy amy o and this was posted on the yelp forums and the the title is Funny Podcast That Reads Reviews. No! How did you find this? I googled. I had my Google magic, let's just say that. Stop googling us. It's really, sometimes it doesn't end well. This is what Amy has to say.

Has anyone listened to the podcast Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet? It's a brother and sister who read reviews dramatically. It made me laugh out loud and I just thought that since we all do reviews here, others may find it entertaining. Also, I'm scared because I feel like this is when the teacher finds a note I've been writing, and even though I said something positive about the teacher, like, now they know that I'm talking. I know, right?

Oh my god. And then Jenny said, LMAO, that sounds super fun. Thanks for the rec. How long until they read our Yelp reviews? And then Amy said, Jenny, I hope they don't read my reviews. They would probably make fun of them. I want to go back and listen and see if they reference Yelp more or Google or other review platforms. Hmm. This was from eight months ago.

Rochelle says they'll have to check it out. And then someone else said something positive. So it's just a few positive things. But, Amy, I am reading one of your reviews. Yay, but a positive one. Of course, a positive one. And one that struck me as just very nice and it just made me happy. Amy's not wrong.

Yeah, we would fully make fun of you if this were any other episode. Yes, but... But not today. But Amy is a very impressive Yelper by the way elite for five years has written um you didn't even need to tell me about how many i like the second i heard oh amy brought us up on a yelp form i was like what an impressive yelper yeah elite for five years 23 badges whoa 217 reviews i don't even know i've never heard of badges that's cool that's like rookie pro master yelp is maximus what baller barfly like all these different things based on

what you review i assume we're learning here educational podcast anyway this is a review of key plus five stars from our good friend amy why wouldn't you want to stop at this adorable little old school key shop? I love supporting local businesses, and the very charming owner is a reminder of this. Located in the FoodMax Planet Fitness Shopping Center, KeyPlus is a wonderful option for all your keying needs. Today I was able to get a key made for $2 in just about two seconds. The sign also says locksmith,mith so seems like they are truly full service i've lived in citrus heights for three years now and i have been a customer since then

they have done all my house key copies and with new family in town that's a lot so many fun options if you like disney or sports why can't your keys be just as cool as you are. End of review. Aw, that's really nice. Yeah. I want all the Disney ones. I want one of Gaston, the big candle. You're such a monster. Yeah, they have so many options. Oh, and Amy included lots of pictures. And I'm like going through them. I'm like, yeah, lots of Disney options.

Okay, don't share the picture of- I want the Winnie the Pooh one. Of her actual key, because you can make copies based on a photo of a key. I learned that once. Thankfully. Whose key did you make a copy of? None of your goddamn business. Uh-oh.

No, Amy did not share a photo of the key. Amy would never. Amy's smart. This is great. So, Amy, if you still listen to our show, thank you for sharing us on Yelp. That makes us very happy. Thank you, Amy. That was very kind of you. Instead of just complaining, which I'm sure some people on Yelp do not appreciate us.

So I'm glad that you do. Now, this next one I have was sent in by Kelsey. And it says, hope the quarantine crazies are treating you well. I'm a longtime listener. When I saw these reviews while looking at a bathrobe, because who needs real clothes anymore? I just needed to share. Sarah is not letting Mary get away with this shit.

Uh-oh. And it's called, the subject of Kelsey's email is, take that, Mary. So just get ready. Now here's the thing though. Tell me. I have to read a one-star review to get to the redemption. Kelsey's email is take that Mary. So just get ready. Now here's the thing though. Tell me.

I have to read a one star review to get to the redemption. I'm sorry. It just explains things. Okay. Okay. I promise you'll feel better. Mary posted on this bathrobe review. One star. Lies.

I bought the blue, which was more like mint. The fabric is spandex rayon and polyester this reading robe is nothing more than a glorified hospital gown big time deception from love and lore mary and love and lore is the name of the brand okay this should not be classified under big time deception i feel like that should be reserved for... Okay, I should refrain from commenting. This is a positive episode. Give me the positivity.

I'm accidentally holding us over the edge of the cliff, but I'm pulling us back now. Please. This is a five-star review by Sarah. This is the subject. It says, love these robes, dot, dot, dot. There's something wrong with Mary. I don't know what kind of hospital robes mary has been in but these robes are soft and luxurious correct the blue is actually closer to a mint green and

is to die for i would like to own one in every color but alas if i were a rich woman i would cut up these robes and fashion them into bed sheets take that that, Mary. Oh, gunning for her. What the heck? I love it. There's something wrong with Mary. It's like there's something about Mary, but there's something wrong with Mary. Bathrobe edition.

But that perfectly negates the review. So it's like, okay, yeah. And I just, I adore it. I adore it. And I adore that Kelsey was looking for a bathrobe, and I hope this convinced Kelsey to buy it, buy this specific bathrobe. I like mint green. Maybe I I adore it. I adore it. And I adore that Kelsey was looking for a bathrobe, and I hope this convinced Kelsey to buy it, buy this specific bathrobe. I like mint green.

Maybe I should buy it. What's wrong with mint green? Hospital robe. Hospital gown. Okay, my next review is a review of CP Shuckers in Virginia Beach. Is that an oyster? It's a cafe and raw bar. Yeah.

So, yes. They have all that stuff. This's a cafe and raw bar. Yeah. So, yes. They have all that stuff. This is a five-star review by David. I was just in Virginia Beach for a few days. I didn't care for it. Sorry. Hey, you're doing the same thing I did. It's a five-star review, though.

I'm not reading a one-star. This is from 2015, by the way. I didn't care for it. I find the beach too sandy and ocean water too salty. I think half the people who, quote, love the beach are dirty liars. We're sandy liars, to be more accurate. And we all know sandy liars are far, far more dangerous. I do know sandy liars.

She's lovely. I don't know why I keep trying to do that joke. I don't know. It's not working. Also, sharks live in the ocean. I my case i also digress cp shuckers cafe and raw bar is probably the best establishment in virginia beach we sat inside but the patio looked like a good time if you've just graduated there is cornhole in the front next to the entrance. Just graduated? That's such a good line.

That's such a hit for us Ohioans. I know, it's like the state sport of Ohio. If you've just graduated, there's cornhole in the front next to the entrance. Please don't ask me to play. Thanks. The happy hour deals are on par with everything else around, which is great. Beer was cheap and the oysters, shrimp,

and Alaskan snow crab legs are discounted. That's the money. Now for the intangibles that you can't put a price on, which earned them this five-star rating. The service is excellent. Our server was fast, friendly, and adorable. My wife and I both agreed. The manager came over to check on us twice for no reason. He was helping his staff run food, check on guests, and was generally working the floor. Not delegating and loafing, working. Loafing. Yes, people, a place where they actually give a shit about the guest experience. Like your hustle guy.

The cherry on top? Over the PA, they had classic Motown, R&B, and funk playing. I don't usually go in for this kind of music, but when you hear the likes of Al Green, the Commodores, the Temptations, and Stevie Wonder randomly, it's like you just found $100 in that pair of jeans you forgot were packed away. It just puts you in a great mood. I even heard other patrons comment to the manager

about how much they loved the music selection. It made the experience special, which is what I'm searching for every time I go out to eat. So, do yourself a favor. End of review. That's so sweet. It's someone who used their personality. Like, we've had these personalities as one-star reviews so many times. Yes, exactly.

But this was actually using it for good finally someone using their superpowers and using cliches for good too for example i even heard other patrons comment to the manager oh that is normally reserved for oh yeah they also complained but in this case it was oh yeah they also complimented the music like i don't normally go for this kind of music i mean honestly like this is you're right using cliches for good it's like our quintessential review yet it's positive flipped on its head exactly and it mentions our podcast title beach too sandy it really actually was yeah hit the nail a little bit of everything and it mentions oysters

just another important thing that you like for you. Yeah, for me only. Okay, this is my last one. This is a review sent in by Saban, who says, Hi, Alex and Christine. I work in a research lab where I'm doing fairly repetitive tasks all day. So your podcast breaks up the monotony. I even got my boyfriend into your podcast, and he doesn't typically like more conversational style podcasts. So it is kind of a big deal to me. That is a big deal to me too. Me too. Thanks, Saban.

So the first one was a one star, which we'll save for potentially a future between you and us. But for now, this is a redemption that Saban found on LinkedIn. It says, it caught my eye since LinkedIn is not the first place I'd expect to see a review, but it tugged at my heartstrings. It's a review of Delta. Review of Delta. That's all you'd think is a bad start. It made me a little concerned at first. And especially nowadays with the airline situation happening,

I think we could maybe use a five-star of an airline. I feel like that's extremely rare. Especially since already read one a one star corona related airline review and we know at a time like this if anyone needs praise it's delta it's the mega corporations that are doing their part okay so this is a review by robin a recruiter and virtual wellness coach with pronouns she her hers hashtag mental health awareness listen robin sounds like oh heck yeah so robin um has like 3500 followers okay so don't even worry i do not understand linkedin i don't need the fact that it exists at the level it exists oh wow, wow. She has 23 badges. I'm just kidding.

She doesn't have badges. I don't think that's a LinkedIn thing. She's no Amy. She's no Amy. It says at the top, please share so this gets back to Delta Airlines. Okay. Another sign that it's a bad review coming. Usually when people try to make something go viral, it's not good news.

But this, I will, spoiler alert, it did go pretty viral has 20 000 reactions to it on linkedin there are that many people that use it no i understand it's like one of the whenever i'm on there and i see these posts i'm like that are so popular i'm like oh my god this is a real platform yeah i don't i think i've just never been professional in any aspect i was like really into it for a while when i was job hunting like out of college but i feel like we've kind of gone a totally different direction than most people i just occasionally message my friend steven on there well that's weird okay so this will also you know it's scary to me because it tells people when you look at their profile and i like don't need that negativity always incognito whenever

i'm like stalking someone i incognito their LinkedIn. Also one time I accidentally connected my Gmail and it invited every single Gmail contact and I had started dating Blaze two weeks earlier and it invited his father to be a LinkedIn connection. That's fucking funny. It was horrible and he like accepted it awkwardly. Okay anyway this is a review by robin on saturday june 29th my wife four-year-old son and i flew from msp what is that minnesota minneapolis st paul that's where steven lives oh my god it's all coming together on saturday 6 29 my wife four-year-old son and i flew from minneapolis on on Delta to JFK to visit family. There was a flight attendant who really stood out.

JFK is John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Have you heard of that? No. Okay. Is that another flight attendant? Yes. Okay. It's actually the pilot.

Oh, right. It's a man, so it would be the pilot. Right, Alex? Okay. You said it it not me to jfk to visit family there was a flight attendant who really stood out she was very outgoing happy and a breath of fresh air she would check in on charlie each time she passed by a row we found out her name was keisha as shy as charlie is he even said goodbye to keisha as

we exited the plane on the air tran to our rental we saw keisha miss her bus charlie was so sad the bus left without her no charlie charlie on saturday july 6 we flew out of lga on delta back to msp this is giving me a headache what is lga oh la guardia so wait they okay sorry so they went flew into new york yeah But then flew back out of LaGuardia. Yeah. On Saturday, July 6th, we flew. Why does that matter? It doesn't.

I'm sorry. On Saturday, July 6th, we flew out of LaGuardia on Delta back to Minneapolis. We got to the terminal early, 8, and then we got delayed again and again for four hours. But who did we see? Keisha. Keisha. Wait, this is at a different airport, though. A different airport. Coming back. Yeah. In New York City, this is at a different airport, though. A different airport. Coming back.

Yeah, in New York City, of all places. With lots of people. That's kind of what I was going for. She sat with Charlie and read books and watched animal videos. This was on her own time, something she didn't have to do. She went above and beyond to make Charlie so happy. I have never seen such amazing customer service. At Delta, if you don't know

Kesha, Keisha. If you don't know Kesha. I mean, I don't know what he's going to say next, but I agree whether it's about Kesha or Keisha here. I actually don't know if it's pronounced Kesha or Keisha. How's it spelled? Like Kesha. Oh, is there a dollar sign? Oh my God. I forgot Kesha started. I love Kesha. Flying airplanes. Okay. That was a good one. You're on a roll today.

I'm a sinner. I have a headache. I drank too much grape soda. Why do you own grape soda? That's such a. I went downstairs and there's a box of grape soda. I'm like, we've never owned grape soda. I just. a box of grape soda we've never owned grape soda i just like in our lives we've never owned grape so i'm reading this book this crime fiction book it's really good but she always takes her xanax with grape soda and so it

got like is that gonna help my xanax i thought maybe a little sugar rush um and i seeing as i don't have any xanax i just thought I'd maybe go with the grape soda part. But unfortunately that part just gives me a headache. So. Christina. Do you know that there are 56 grams of sugar in one can of grape soda? Fucking A. It's like, holy shit.

So, um. So no wonder you have a headache. Yes, I do. Okay. Quite. Um, so I'm so sorry. This really derailed. So at Delta, if you don't know Keisha yet, meet her.

She's based out of New York City. If you don't know Kesha yet, meet her as well. I'm sorry. this really derailed so at Delta if you don't know Keisha yet meet her she's based out of New York if you don't know Kesha yet meet her as well I'm sorry I had to okay like I don't know if Kesha is just that way because because I actually don't know yeah I would it might be Keisha like that would make sense to me like I guess the only Kesha like Keisha sounds like a name Kesha sounds like an entertainer I think that's what I'm thrownha, like Keisha sounds like a name. Kesha sounds like an entertainer. I think that's what I'm thrown about is like Keisha sounds like someone I've, like I know people named Keisha. I don't know a real person named Kesha, but maybe. I do.

She's a singer. Oh yeah. I forgot you're friends with a lot of airline pilots and flight attendants. Okay. At Delta Airlines. If you don't know Keisha yet, meet her. She's based out of New York City. Give her a raise.

Her customer service is top notch and blew us off our feet training videos should be made around her service we didn't get keisha's last name but i hope she sees this oh she doesn't have a last name it's just a dollar sign we didn't get keisha's last name but i hope she sees this we hope to cross paths again sincerely the smith family hashtag delta airlines hashtag keisha hashtag amazing hashtag keisha i love that sweet yeah it made me really happy um and uh oh good someone wrote some nasty response so we're not gonna read okay how okay no don't tell me how i i think it's basically like this is all that keisha will get from Delta and like, Oh, which is probably true article about like how terrible Delta is. Yeah.

But just like leave your negativity at the door. This is a positive episode. Don't they know that about our podcast exit row at the exit seat? I don't know. Throw it down the slide. Throw it down the slide. Um, Keisha will show you how to use it.

Cause she's a great flight attendant. Oh, keisha will show you how to use it she's a great flight attendant oh it's an article called delta urges workers to pay for video games not union dues i remember that i'm gonna x out i remember that that was bad out of this and x out of that and say goodbye to the internet because i hate it and it's bad and it's always negative except for right this moment when i read my final review. I'm so ready. So this is a review of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. Oh god. It was on Facebook. You're giving me so much anxiety. No no no. This was do you not remember the exact date we started our podcast?

November. Nope. We recorded it in like I think October October or November. But when we launched it. Oh, 12-12. December 12th, 2018. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a review from December 13th, 2018. Sorry. I was just thinking about 12-12 and how cool that was. The day after.

12-13. Oh, the day after. The day after. 2018? 2018, yes. 2018. Yes. Okay.

We're learning our numbers. It's okay. We'll get there. So I'm not going to reveal who wrote it, but you'll find out very quickly in the first two words. My kids can't be German. They are actually funny. End of review.

Mama, you're so embarrassing. Oh my. A positive review from our mother the day after we launched precious yes also i mean it's a little bit of like collude collusion i guess but it's very sweet because as we know this is what launched us this review actually launched us into the stratosphere little fucking stratosphere little known fact is she actually originally posted on LinkedIn, which is where it went viral. And did hashtag

Kesha and Kesha re-shared it? I don't know what the terminology on LinkedIn is. And mom was like, who is Kesha? And then forced her to delete it. She was so unhappy. So we'd be bigger, but at least we know Kesha's a fan. You know the worst part is mom's never

gonna hear this because she definitely doesn't listen to the podcast she does sometimes sometimes she'll be like i heard that on the podcast blah blah yeah she does but it's kind of the same way she watches her crime shows where she's ironing and she lets it run in the background and then she'll somehow like she she's somehow by osmosis just it being in the same room will like pick up on things but anything maybe remotely negative to say well that's true yeah but then we'll start an episode of like criminal minds she's like i've seen this it ends like this and i'm like well what the hell and she's like i was ironing it was in the background i love how in all of your memories of our mother she's ironing

that's because that's what she does for a living sorry mom i know we call her the iron maiden okay oh we're clever listen why do we have a podcast mom i'm sorry you're really funny and that was a really funny review and by the way everyone she has a phd because she's going to insist that i say that now that she heard me dr mom. Mom, we are sorry. I'm sorry. But really, we have from someone who admittedly herself does not fully understand humor and who is a doctorate, a doctoral degree, got some really good praise.

She has called me and talked to me about how funny she thinks we are. Oh, that's nice. She has done that where she's like, I cannot believe you guys are so funny. That's weird that she doesn't do that to me but maybe i just missed her calls you know what she told me that she told me that you ignore her calls and she's like all i want to do is tell her how funny she is she never picks up i'm sure she's like all like like when i'm not ironing the one thing i want to do is talk about how funny my kids are it's only like 30 minutes out of the day when i'm not ironing, but when I'm not.

I split it between complimenting them and then spoiling any crime show that Christina wants to watch at any point in time by saying who did it. Anyway, now that you know all about our lives. That was weird. Thank you for listening to our bonus positive, positive question mark episode. Positive question mark episode. She for madness mark episode. Positive question mark episode. She for madness colon. Positive question mark. Positive question mark.

No, we'll come up with something better. We'll come up with something better. Iron Maiden. I don't know. We'll work on it. She for madness colon. Iron Maiden would get the medieval torture people in there. Some hard rock.

The metal people in there. Oh, man. I love it. Okay. Medieval torture people. Fam the some hard rock the metal people in there oh man i love it okay medieval torture people famous podcasts yes okay well this has just been us talking about and mom would listen mom would probably listen yeah okay for what reason because of the word iron oh i thought you make some medieval torture nope okay everyone thanks for listening to us talk about ourselves for 10 minutes thank Thank you, and good night.