Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Schiefer Madness: Quarantine Cuties

Episode Date: March 28, 2020

You should really listen to this episode, but keep in mind that it won't save your life. Only Lysol can do that apparently. We hope you enjoy this surprise bonus episode. Please stay safe out there! And a very big thank you to everyone who is still working and supporting their communities. Things you can do during the COVID-19 epidemic: Donate to help kids who depend on school lunches at http://www.nokidhungry.org Avoid purchasing WIC items to save them for families who depend on WIC. Support your local Chinese businesses! Self-isolate! Vulnerable members of the community are depending on all of us to help stop the spread of the virus. And finally, be kind to yourself. If you are struggling with your mental health, you can contact the confidential Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting HOME to 741741 Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. And if you're just joining us, we're live from Evan's living room. It looks like Evan is about to purchase tickets to today's match. Kate, the real test is, will he use the BMO Toronto FC cashback MasterCard? Well, if he wants to earn cashback on his purchases, he will, and... Oh, hang on. He's at the computer with his card, he's done it. Clicky click magic trick. The clicker around the room. You guys just about finished. Sorry, we got excited. Thanks for snagging those tickets. Make every purchase highlight worthy with the BMO Toronto FC cash back master card. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Surprise! We're still here. Help! Welcome to She for Madness episode two. That's right. She for Madness madness we finally get to use that cool title we came up with years ago that our cousin said was not good yes and now here we are all of this entire podcast has been a vengeance campaign jokes on him jokes on him who's laughing now johannes we are anyway hello everyone uh we are here to say hi during this self-quarantining situation that we're still in. Yep, not sure if you're listening to more podcasts or fewer, but if you have some free time, hopefully you enjoy that we're putting out a little bit of extra material. Yeah, it seems to go either way. Either people have like fully stopped because they usually listen driving or they constantly listen to podcasts now. Yeah, because they have nothing better to do.

Yeah. I listen all the time because I'm always either. I almost said I'm always cleaning. That's comical. I was going to say because I listen when I'm like cleaning or like walking geo or something. So I've been listening to a lot. But anyway, we're here to add more content. Whether you want it or not

right right right um and so we are doing another covet 19 sponsored episode and by the way thank you everyone who um donated after last week's episode we really appreciate that and i do not donate it to us oh yeah i mean to no kid hungry. I do want to also add a lot of people have reached out. And Eva's sister, who works in Maryland for like a hunger nonprofit, have pointed out that most states or most districts are still feeding. If you're under the age of 18, can still get food if that's needed. So to be clear, that is a possibility if that's something you know of someone who needs that service. But also No Kid Hungry is great. It wasn't like a big scam that I created or anything.

They're still a really awesome organization who are doing a lot to help feed people during these hard times. So that being said, thank you to everyone also who sent fun stuff they found online in the past couple weeks. Fun is in quotations. Very much in quotations. Most of in the past couple weeks. Fun is in quotations. Very much in quotations. Most of the words I say on the show are in quotations. So thank you to everyone who submitted them. We're going to read a few of them. Yeah.

Should I go ahead? Sure. Please. Take it away. Well, Brielle emailed us and said, hi, folks. Hi. I just wanted to say thank you for putting out some great lighthearted quarantine content. I sincerely hope there's more to come well someone got their wish all of these reviews

so i'm actually first i'm just going to read one to start and then i have a lightning round after your next one oh the first one is it's from walmart.com great and it's of nature republic hand and nature sanitizer gel ring green turtle so it's one of those i'm sorry nature sanitizer it's not even for sanitizer it's for the a ring that you like a oh the the holder yeah it's like a holder with a little clip at the end that i do like a rubber one or a silicone one. And in the picture, there is no hand sanitizer listed. There is also not a turtle. Or shown.

Is there? Yeah, it's a little turtle-like charm thing on the end. Okay, I'm suddenly much more invested in this product. Okay, yes. So anyway, there is a review by Sony B from March 11th, 2020. Oh boy. One star. Did not work.

I'm quarantined. End of review. Oh no! What? I assume they meant quarantined, but it's spelled I don't assume, Sandy. C-O-R-E-N-T-E-I-D.

Quarantined? Quarantined? Oh no, what were they trying to do? I don't know, but it didn't work, whatever it was. Oh, shit. I hope that they didn't get it and were like, what? Wasn't there supposed to be hand sanitizer in here? My hands are still so dirty still.

My hands aren't sanitized. Oh no. Hopefully, oh, yeah, I'm wondering if that means that they got it. They're like, didn't work, so now I'm quarantined because I have it. Oh. Let's not. Let's hope not. Let's hope not.

Because that's a cute little turtle. Yeah. Okay. Great. So my turn? Yes. So this is an email from Mahaley. And it says, hello, quarantine cuties.

Hi. That's me. I love this energy you're bringing to the table. Mahaley says, I found more corona-related reviews on some of the most sought-after survival gear for this pandemic. Bidets, toilet paper, and protective masks. So there are a lot here. I'm going to read, let's see, I'm going to read this one from, it's by Harry of, on Amazon, a verified purchase of hygiene masks. We had a slight technical difficulty, and in the meantime, Alexander has decided that Mahaley has named today's episode.

Mm-hmm. So... Schiefer Madness, colon, Quarantine Cuties. Sounds like a terrible Quentin Tarantino movie. Okay. Here we go. So this is a review by Harry of Hygiene Masks on Amazon. One star.

The subject is, from China, need I say more? I mean, yes, you need it. Well, need it in the sense that I actually don't want to hear it. But if that's all you have to say, you're not bringing any substance to the table. Yes, Harry, you needn't say more. And yet, for whatever reason you did. So I guess let's read it. One star. I did not like nor did i read prior to ordering that this was a drop ship from china if i had realized this was from the very country that has caused the epidemic i would never have order it now i have to worry that the packaging and the product is laden with covid19 i think i should just throw them in the trash. I hate the people that drop ship. They think they are

so clever. But the truth is, I will never buy anything from them again. Well. Good luck. You probably said that before you did it by accident. Yeah. Again. And I will be very careful in the future. If I wanted crap from China,

I could just order it myself. You just did. What are you talking about? I was tricked into this purchase by the failure of information. Plus, in China, you will be arrested for selling these masks for more than eight cents each.

This is greed at the most frightening moment in time. End of review. Okay. There's review. Okay. There's so much here. I do like that he says, I was tricked by the failure of information when the first line literally says, I did not like nor did I read. Yes. That this was a dropshed from China. And then later he admitted to making a mistake as well. He said he will be more careful because he didn't read it so he was weirdly self-aware saying like hey it's your werewolf

thing yeah self-aware wolves um not my thing i am worried though because a lot of subreddits have become very alt-right so oh shit i'm worried someone listens to this like a year from now and is like oh that's an alt-right subreddit'm worried someone listens to this like a year from now and is like, oh, that's an alt-right subreddit now. Oh, Alexander's a fan of that? Yeah, no. Anyway, but... That's why I make it very clear I don't know what we're talking about, so no one can directly link me. Very, very smart. Thank you. Anyway, I'm off topic, but what was he talking about? So in China, you can't sell them for more than eight cents each? Or you'll be arrested. Or you'll be arrested. And he's saying that's greed? Yes.

Wouldn't that be the opposite? He's saying this is greed because now people are selling it to him for whatever, 20 bucks. And he's like, they're coming from China, so they should be eight cents. But then again. So the greedy person isn't. Is the go between. It's not anyone in China. It's someone.

The middle man. Who is most likely like no china's just the cause of the entire epidemic oh of course and also the cause of all of harry's problems um i just also like that uh he's staring at them saying i should just throw them away i mean maybe you should instead of staring at them and writing this scathing review then if you do you should also we'll actually first donate those um sure yes but if you throw, you should also, well, actually first donate those. Sure, yes. But if you throw those away, based on your quote-unquote principles, you maybe should throw away most of the products you own. Probably your computer, smartphone, anything that was made in China, if you're so idiotic.

Okay. Oh, man. I went there. Scathing. All right, your turn. Oh, my turn. Okay. Thank you, Mahaly. Thank you for the episode title. I went there. Scathing. All right, your turn. Oh, my turn. Okay. Thank you, Mahaley. Thank you for the episode title.

That was easy. This is still from Brielle because Brielle, she gave me a user after that. So she warmed me up with that turtle sanitizer ring. And then now she said. That sounded really unfortunate, but okay. Yeah. Now she said, take a look at this guy okay and this guy is named rico yeah he is and rico reviewed multiple toilet paper products yes he did and all on walmart.com so i love that riel is just on

walmart.com yes reading these this is excellent and guess what i did after that i went on walmart.com our little minions are actually like that taking care of us it's so brilliant so good it's gonna this is gonna be a speed run i'm gonna read the uh product the stars and then the review and these are all by rico... All by Ricco. Ricco. Got it. Great value, everyday, soft, two-ply, toilet paper roll, 24 count, two stars. Not good. Go with the good one. It will not save your life.

Equate fragrance-free flushable wipes value pack, 48 count, three pack, three stars. It will not save your life. Buy enough for you. What? End of review. I should have said that earlier. Scott Rapid Dissolving for RVs and Campers Toilet Paper. Four rolls.

Five stars. Everyone is crazy to buy all the toilet paper. Will not save your life. End of review. Ultra Strong Bathroom Tissue. Septic Safe. Two-ply white. 143 sheets per roll.

Four pack. Four stars. You ladies going too far with toilet paper toilet paper won't save your life end of review berkeley jensen ultra soft 173 sheet two premium bath tissue 36 pack three stars all you people are greedy save some for other people lysol will save your life not toilet paper end review. I was waiting for him to tell me what will save my life. It turns out it's Lysol. Finally, he gave me the key. Yeah.

Is he a murderer? Is he a serial murderer? Because the way that he speaks is very alarming to me. Not only that, you know what alarmed me the most? What? The fact that each one has a different star value. Oh, you're right. It's not like he's on some very clear outline mission

it's like there's some deeper levels here and what's kind of nice though is not a single one was one star they're so nice yeah two three five four three this is creeping me out though like there's something off about ricko i know no you would never have guessed by the name ricko that something was weird about him but i feel like maybe there's something weird about him. And this is actually over like two days, March 15th and March 16th. So it wasn't like, well, it might have been a drunken night of like just being goofy on the internet. It was at least two drunken nights or two separate times. Like there was most likely sleep. Unless, actually, you know what? I could be wrong. Middle of the night. Middle of the night. That's when most of us do our Walmart warnings, as I like to call them.

Walmart warnings. I just don't. You know who could have used those Walmart warnings? The people at my basement. The teen greeters in your basement. Too bad. Too late for them. That's kind of where my mind went.

It's like someone who keeps people in the basement is the kind of person who goes on every type of toilet paper on Walmart.com. I think you're projecting. This won't save you. I think you're projecting. Here come the carrots making their way upfield, followed by the whole wheat bread, over to the two dozen eggs. Sir, do you do this every time? Sorry, I've been a little excited ever since I got this BMO Toronto FC cashback MasterCard. Oh, and the broccoli boots it over the line.

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Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack. Only at Kudo. Conditions apply. This email is from Richard. Hi, Richard. Oh, wait. Is that long for Rico?

Oh, my God. The first line says, hey, Schieffer sisters. So maybe. Uh-oh. That will not save your life, Richard. Richard, be careful. My girlfriend and I love your podcast. The coronavirus episode was a great surprise, so we decided to find enough content for a whole new episode.

Hope this helps. We would give you six stars if we could. So I picked two of Richard's reviews. I'm going to read you one now and then one later. This is a one-star review by Monica of Sherwin-Williams Paint Store. Oh, look me a good Sherwin. First and last time visiting this store. So I will say that we are in the middle of a pandemic with COVID-19, but that's no reason to give people attitude and treat them like trash. Since we are going to be homebound for a while, we decided to catch up on some home improvements and came out to buy paint. We heard that Sherwin-Williams

was the best, so we decided to give it a shot. We were greeted by a girl yelling behind that counter saying don't cross the tape i will also say every exclamation in this review and there were a lot has a question mark alongside the exclamation point that makes me feel like they're not sure any of this actually happened yeah they're this is like their attempt at um sherwin williams fan fiction just like does this does people enjoy this i guess it worked okay we were greeted by a girl yelling behind that counter saying don't cross the tape well hello to you too i told her they should put a sign saying stop don't cross the tape what then we were approached by a snobby kid asking us if we knew what we wanted he was helpful but completely snobby the whole time i told you we have never been here before kid i hate this i hate those question marks

my husband leans a little over the table at the front to show the kid the paint we were thinking about. And he then receives a text from the girl behind the counter saying, tell him not to lean on the table. Really? A text? We then get shamed for asking what captivate paint means. She chimes in and says, oh oh that's our cheapest paint with poor quality why someone would ever speak poorly of their own product i don't know they wrote down our credit card number without even giving us the total and asked us to go sit in our car like we were little kids who can't figure out how to not cross a line of tape. Obviously you are like a child. Who's like touching everything probably, crossing the line.

People aren't out there, so many people are not respecting. Boundaries? Anything that's going on right now. Social boundaries. She said the paint would be brought out to us, that they'd knock on the car window. Never again. Not for this price? We'll take our business to another

Sherwin-Williams for sure. Oh, okay. They're still gonna go... Oh, I like the Sherwin for sure. I don't think that was intentional, but let's give it to her. The way you said it made it seem intentional. You're welcome, Monica. Monica? Well,

weird that they say, oh, but we'll be back to sherwin-williams good for that those employees they want that captivating up for their health they're probably like i don't want to be working right now they're probably tired of monica's running in there ridiculous coughing all over there was there a date on this one um there was it doesn't i was curious um this isn't loading so my internet is crud all right my next one is from kristin who says good evening she for sibs how did wait how does she know that it's a good evening that it's evening time um good evening she for sibs maybe just like how monica

knew and told us that there was a epidemic going on. Oh. She said, I will say there is an epidemic going on. Oh, that's what... And I said, how does she know? Oh, you know what? That's, I think, what started everything. The CDC was like, wait, Monica's saying this? Then it's serious. It's the Monica alert.

Well, here's what Kristen has to say. Good evening. I'm sorry. I mean the Monica alert? Okay, go ahead. Sorry. I'm laying in my bed, unable to sleep in this midst of, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.

So I decided to see if there's any hand sanitizer available on Amazon right now. And guess what? There is. I stumbled upon this copper disc that supposedly sanitizes your hands. Not so sure about that, but Beverly here seems to. And yeah, so here is her, Beverly's, five-star review of Copper Touch Hand Sanitizer, the all-natural way, a better way to have cleaner hands wherever you go.

No soap, no water, no problem. SaniDisc. Okay, folks, I'm sorry. Wash your hands wherever you go. No soap, no water, no problem. Sani Disc. Okay, folks, I'm sorry. Wash your hands normally. Like, soap and water works better than Purell, and I will probably go out on a limb here and say soap and water works better than a metal disc, but that's just me, my ignorant self, so.

But maybe Beverly will convince you here with her five-star review. Honestly, she might. The review is titled one more proactive defense against china's big pharma and wuhan's labs latest creation love this love this for you um and big pharma pharma is spelled p and then h-a-r-m is in all caps so sure and then a so like she thinks it's like a PhD sort of. Yes, sure. P. Harm. A.

Oh, I get it. Oh, is that what she did? Yes. I'm so stupid. Okay. Harm. Okay, got it, got it, got it. I thought she just did the num lock or caps lock backwards or whatever.

No. She... She was making a clever joke. Yeah. Just like Sherwin-Williams for sure. Yeah. Okay, here we go. I tried to keep the terrain of my body healthy and resistant by getting good nutrition with, quote, real food, avoiding junk food and sugar, avoiding unnecessary neural toxins from vaccines, and chemical-laden personal care products.

Oh, no. This is not going well so far. We haven't even finished her routine sorry i had to take a big swig of my foreign beer here okay go ahead getting adequate sleep exercising to decrease stress and getting natural vitamin d from sunshine i like how the last three are like okay yeah why didn't you lead with those? And also like eating, like avoiding junk food and sugar. That's good. Good nutrition. And then, yeah.

She just likes to sprinkle in some chaos. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. I see how it is. Carrying this little gem in my pocket is an additional way to maintain my good health during those times when the viral load is higher than usual especially when lab created viruses are released into the public and my headache i know my racial headache is back and bio media hysteria is promoted through every news agency who is financially supported through big farm mafia and a review god, Alexianer! I was not prepared for this. This gives me that headache that we love.

You know what the worst part about this is? 89 people found it helpful. No! I saw that, it shocked me when I saw that. You're kidding with me. And that was when the screenshot was taken, so I don't know. This gives me. By Kristen, so.

Oh my god. I just, you know who that reminds me of me yes we have a lot to discuss here my friend no tell me that lady whose kid was named boris who told us that she only fed boris raw milk and that's why his teeth busted out of his braces do you remember this is this in our real life yes okay i wasn't sure if this was a review we read that's true our podcasts and our real lives kind of like converge and we don't really get the whole teeth busting out of braces thing sounds familiar yeah yeah we were little and we were drinking like milk or something and this lady at a cookout and my this lady told my mom i forget her name told our mom like they shouldn't be drinking that it's so filled

with chemicals i only feed boris raw milk and that's why his teeth busted out of his braces and my mom was like she's probably saying very rude at this point um but that's what it reminds me of and she was always insisting that like everything we did was like killing us as children was it beverly was her name beverly because it could be the same person oh shit she did have like these weird bracelets that she was always waving around to try and kill bacteria that's what i'm picturing by the way of this disc or whatever the thing is if if this person gets the virus you know they're gonna blame something crazy they're gonna be like she already did and she doesn't even have it exactly so like it just sucks because it's like right in front of their

like their face like hey this is not a real thing this is not how this works but it doesn't matter but it's like what we see with the flat earthers where it's like there's so many deeper things going on here like she's suddenly that's very she's like i love this cool metal ring that kills germs but it's not just that. It's like, and then China's actually releasing lab-created viruses and the media is blah, blah, blah. It's like, this is just, it goes deeper and deeper. There are a lot, I've read out some, like, deep state reviews. Oh, no.

About all the conspiracies that are... Is that on your werewolf Reddit? Yeah, it was actually ones that I wrote. Sorry. Oh. that are um is that on your werewolf um reddit um yeah it was actually ones that i wrote no i was looking for reviews for today but they were like really sad that's and it is very that's like i didn't i didn't bring them because i'm like i don't thank you people and people actually like there's some people who are like i'm like i have mental illness and like this is really hard and i'm like oh god it's bad it's tough out there but anyway it is and i mean it is like when i was like oh flat earthers funny and then it like simply was not funny at all um and again we're not trying to joke about covid19 it is not a joke um we're mostly just kind of uh continuing to critique the people who continue to force their way through

these reviews even though apparently yelp has shut down the ability. Yes, I was going to bring that up. Who emailed us that? I didn't even notice it, and then someone emailed it to us. I can say it was someone. You can say it was someone? Yes, I can say confidently that it was someone. It was KT.

KT. KT. Okay, well, thank you for letting us know you said yelp and google aren't allowing new one-star reviews or any reviews blaming an establishment for spreading coronavirus i like how they specified one-star reviews or any reviews yeah thank you what if they only allowed five stars that would be kind of fun A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture.

Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. Okay. Welp. Back to me.

We're back. Rico sent me another email. I mean, it was the same email. Oh, Rico. But sent me another email. I mean, it was the same email. Oh, Rico. But Rick sent another one. This is, uh, written by L.

And this is, uh, doozy. I'm excited because that first one, Sherwin-Williams, I would not expect that. Like, you know,

hand sanitizer is one thing. So what else did Richard bring us? JetBlue Airlines. Ooh. See, another unique one. This is written by Elle, and it's a two-parter because there's an original and then an updated review.

Let's call it a saga. Let's. Elle wrote in 2016 the following review. I am a well-traveled individual. I have enjoyed first-class service on world- oh shit, sorry, this was actually my review on that werewolf thing. JK. I have enjoyed first-class service on world-class international flights, spent time on economy liners for short non-stop trips for fun weekend getaways, and had positions where I traveled for business on airlines that were known for their overbooked flights frequent delays and mechanical failures is what if what if this is a point of pride she's put up with so much okay is that what it is alexander even for fun weekend getaways i've endured people falling into my lap while sleeping

people who have grabbed grabbed onto me during their first terrifying flight and a seatmate who asked for help when feeling ill that had potential for an emergency landing but didn't become an emergency landing clearly there's always that potential there's literally always a potential okay however i never experienced anything like i did on jet blue my husband and i were recently traveling from san diego to boston to celebrate a little person's birthday i don't know if she means literally like a little person or like if so why would you feel the need to say exactly i like what a strange way to like not a friend's birthday or something okay my husband and i were recently traveling from san diego to boston to celebrate

a little person's birthday prior to celebrating a big birthday for my husband in the caribbean anyway do with that information you know what i'm gonna do nothing you will i'm gonna throw it right throw it with larry's harry's taiji mess in the trash can okay we booked non-stop flights for each leg of the journey and reserved upgraded even more seats on jet blue individuals who have signed up for the even more program occupy approximately the first five rows of the aircraft in these seats one has early boarding overhead baggage privileges and extra leg room. This particular leg should have been a minimum of three to four star review.

However, sadly, it is a one. It is the worst airline experience I have had to date. I would give it a zero if I could. JetBlue should have responded and took action on the spot when I approached the staff about my problem. However, the flight attendant shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Upon landing at Boston Logan Airport, seatbelts were unfastened, individuals and families started grabbing their baggage from overhead containers. The crew departed the plane and one lone flight attendant stood near the front, yet only three rows from where we stood. The lady in the aisle seat next to me got off the plane. The row next to me exited the plane.

The man in the row in front of me on the opposite side told my husband to go ahead as he needed to obtain a bag. While a lady next to him, presuming she was the wife, chose to grab me by the arm from around the corner, twist my arm and pinch me as hard as she could, shouting, You have no right to go in front of me. I stopped moving. What is going on? I stopped moving and shouted back, Ouch!

What is wrong with you, lady? You have no right to lay hands on another person. My entire row was off the plane. Perhaps she thought I was coming from the next section, yet it really doesn't matter what she thought. It was how she reacted in her abusive manner towards me. The problem I have with this ordeal is that I asked the flight attendant, whose major goal is to make sure that the plane is cleared, if she saw the incident and who I could talk to. The flight attendant seemed as if she was somewhere else. She shook her head like she

did not see or hear the altercation, didn't care, or didn't know what to do. No conflict resolution, no calling a supervisor, no help. Wow, I am in the container slash property of the airline and assaulted by a stranger. I received a completely dazed and confused reaction. I stated, I guess I'm going to have to file a formal complaint directly to the airline about the physical altercation that occurred on your plane. I continued to say, this is not okay. Upon exiting, I shared my discontent with the outbound desk attendant, where the reaction I got was, oh my god! Honestly, this angry woman should not be allowed to travel on JetBlue. She assaulted a fellow passenger.

JetBlue utilizes a marketing slogan, stretch out and peace out. This passenger apparently did not get the message. We may have been visiting Boston, but that gave her no right to pinch out. Not even if it were St. Patrick's Day. Oh my god. I'm like, I don't want to know where this is going. It was a late night, and I'm sure people were tired, hungry, and wanted to get on to their final resting places. That is not what that phrase means. Thank you very much. That sounds like a threat.

It does sound like a really veiled threat. And they wanted to get on to their final resting places, homes, hotels, or crash pads for the night. However, JetBlue has a responsibility to respond to client complaints where a passenger has been harmed by another passenger while on their aircraft. I would like to see how management JetBlue plans to handle this situation. This kind of behavior should have a zero tolerance. Hashtag JetBlue. Hashtag peace out versus pinch out. Hashtag airline savage.

Note, the term airline savage came from a fellow Yelper who read about the incident the night it occurred. It was nice to know someone heard my complaint and had almost the same reaction I did. End of review. Okay. Oh my god. That was rough. I'm glad, I gotta say though, I'm glad that they were nice enough to credit that other Yelper for their creativity. It was probably like their husband on another account if

i'm being fully honest there are so many times where i see people copy and paste kind of the exact same review but change the wording a little bit all right so there unfortunately is more okay is it like a response right and no it's an update oh an update from her so yeah i was excited for like a smackdown okay this was So the original was written in 2016. Oh. And now this one. Okay. I was wondering what that had to do with the virus.

Absolutely nothing. Okay. Until it became 2020 and suddenly she decided it had something to do with the virus. That's hilarious. Okay. Yes. This is Elle's updated review in 2020. JetBlue is the worst airline I have ever flown period they are incompetent and irresponsible

and handling situations for those who fly with them basically you are putting yourself and others at risk by using their services in the first place the staff is poorly trained they ignore situations and i might add are lazy i remain angry okay all, four years later, this is a long time to hold on to such anger. Agreed. You need to... I think that she's telling the story at every dinner party. That's the problem. Every dinner party became probably zero after six months of the story.

And people were like, not Elle again with her fucking airline tales. And then she always says the St. Patrick's Day joke at the end, and it's just... And says the hashtags out loud? Yeah. And then says a little person to brag that she knows a little person. What was that about? I think that's the biggest mystery here.

It's so bizarre that you would even put that in there with no... Yeah. Okay. I remain angry, dissatisfied, and traumatized by the situation I endured on my last flight. They did not address the woman who assaulted me when our flight landed while aboard the plane. JetBlue offered me a $50 credit for my misfortune. Really? Why would I fly with JetBlue again?

I just read they banned someone from their plane, which re-triggered my experience. Well, the woman who assaulted me also needs to be banned from flying too for causing harm, as they did for that COVID-19 case. Did you hear about that? No. Someone, a woman flew on JetBlue having corona. Knowingly. Yeah, and got in huge trouble. And so now she's saying, well, this other woman did the same thing.

I have a feeling that it's pretty different. When someone gets assaulted, something must be done. The airline is accountable for its passengers when on board the plane. I do not know this woman, and they are responsible for people on their flight manifest when they have been abused and harmed. The recent individual banned has COVID-19 and was allowed on their flight. They obviously are not using effective screening tools and need to get on board with doing the right thing. Now others will be harmed by one person's bad behavior. I assume she means the pincher

only this time they have a global crisis in addition to my personal trauma they must deal with hashtag jet blue hashtag don't fly hashtag assaulted hashtag covid19 oh my god end of update is that not the most nut so thing ever that is a very self-absorbed person troubled and just four years later four years later like i if someone pinched me on an airplane i would like be livid like that would be the worst and that's not okay it's not okay and i'm absolutely telling you right now if someone touched me on an airplane like that no thank you um but this is not the appropriate way i agree no matter what this is not the responsibility of the i like i don't understand how it's the

responsibility of that flight attendant the person at the gate the last thing she wants to do is create like an uproar in the middle of a closed container. What's she going to do? Like a citizen's arrest or something? Right. Well, you know they do carry handcuffs in their pretty little handkerchiefs around their neck. Yeah? Yep.

It's actually what the handkerchief is. Oh, wow. Yeah. Cool. It's for citizen's arrest on airplanes. Jesus Christ. Is that why Fred wore an ascot in Scooby-Doo? Alexander, that is exactly.

Makes sense to me. I've been waiting for someone else to put that together. I didn't want to like say it out loud. It's about time that I did. It took me a long time. It's about time someone figured it out. But yeah, no, that is not the responsibility of that flight attendant and taking it out on them.

That's messed up. Like if you have a problem with this person call the police or talk to airport security yeah but to then direct it all towards the people on this flight yeah did she mention the captain too at some point she said the whole crew was off the plane and there was one flight attendant on the plane which is like this poor flight attendant who's literally letting only the first few rows off at this point. Does not want hundreds of people in the plane while chaos ensues. And then four years later with the whole COVID thing to be like, what?

This is relevant to me and my experience. I'm triggered because I was pinched four years ago. And it wasn't even St. Patrick's Day. That is not how you should be using that phrase. And also don't, don't, don't do that. Stop it. Stop it. patrick's day that is not how you should be using that phrase and also don't don't don't do that stop it stop it that's not that's not okay oh well that was a sad experience that was a dude thanks richard thanks rico what the fuck no wonder people call you that oh god that was rude that was harsh i'm sorry well thanks everyone for tuning in to she for Madness episode two.

Yeah, that was a long one. So we have some more that we're going to release another bonus episode soon. Just keep an eye out on that feed because we're not announcing this shit. We're just fucking throwing it at you. Whoa, whoa. Out of nowhere. Left field. Crazy.

She for Madness. Last week, we released one on Thursday night,ursday night friday morning uh-huh this week it's friday night saturday morning holy i know and everyone's like oh we're not getting one this week but nope surprise i have to go get my handkerchief and make a citizen's arrest no you gotta go edit because it's coming out it's coming out in a few hours f anyway so thank you all who sent in reviews we have some more saved but if you could send in uh any that you find that's really helpful for us um and we're having fun doing this i mean fun maybe relative term it's hard work as alexander swirls his latte yes it's very hard work um anyway we're thinking of you guys we hope you're doing well and staying safe

and um healthy and uh we'll see you in, hopefully, She for Madness 3. Yeah, hopefully see you then. Bye, guys. Bye.