Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Schiefer Madness: Tiger King

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! If you haven't watched Tiger King, give in to all the pressure and watch it. Otherwise, this episode is gonna be pretty nonsensical. All we want to do during our stay-at-home order is drink wine and rescue bobcats, but we took the time to record this ridiculous episode. Enjoy! Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, robinhood76, and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hello darlings, this is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests, and of course they'll have to meet my standards, and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people

who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Surprise. Roar. Oh my goodness, what could this episode be about? I wonder, based on the title. It's about big cats.

Welcome to the Schieffer Madness episode three, Tiger King. What the fuck are we doing with this show? I was on the Patreon-only Facebook group when Savannah made a suggestion. Savannah said, hey, why don't you do a special episode on Tiger King? Savannah. hey, why don't you do a special episode on Tiger King? Documentary that is on Netflix now about Joe Exotic and friends and enemies. If you haven't seen it, you can still listen to this episode because I will provide you with a brief synopsis of the show. But be forewarned, there are spoilers in this episode. There are none in mine, but if there are spoilers in this episode there are none in mine but if

there are spoilers there are definitely spoilers in my reviews yours never mind don't listen to it if you want to watch this but if you say never mind i'm gonna pause then go watch it and come back and listen yes don't leave me because this is uh I need you the most. I will give a quick synopsis. Great. Then I will provide a meme that Savannah shared about it. Great. If you have no idea what we're talking about, there is currently a docuseries that is hashtag trending.

It's on Netflix. It's called Tiger King Murder, Mayhem and Madness. It is a 2020 true crime documentary television series about the life of Joseph Maldonado Passage, released on Netflix on March 20th, 2020. The series focuses on the small but deeply interconnected society of big cat conversation... Conversation. Well, they do talk about a lot. Of big cat conservationists like Carol Baskin, owner of Big Cat Rescue, and big cat collectors

such as Maldado passage aka joe exotic whom baskin accuses of abusing and exploiting wild animals and um that was from wikipedia what i'll tell you is that this is a uh true crime series yes about big cat collectors however there is a murder for hire plot line a cult plot line and this is basically more about like these people's relationships with one another than about... I feel like it's focused on the craziness of this world more than... Rather than an expose of sorts where they're digging into factual things. Yeah, it felt like it was going to be more of an expose.

It wasn't as much of an expose as some people had liked. However, it was very bananas. A lot of personalities instead of facts. Yeah, a lot of personalities and like interconnected whatever. It's very fascinating. It's very dark, but also like comical in a way. Very unique, I think, is what I liked about it because a lot of it I didn't like,

but at the same time, it was so unique that I couldn't stop watching. It was like a jaw- I feel like half the time I was just like gasping and like, it's just insane. I mean, it's true. This shit is all real. I'd recommend... I would understand if you feel one way or the other,

but I recommend at least checking it out. I will say I knew about Joe Exotic before this series because when I was in Tampa for And That's What We Drink or we were in Florida, I was going to cover him. And I read a little bit about him and I was like, I'm not interested in this because i i have a big issue with um animal cruelty and i was like i don't even want to know and so when this show came out i was very hesitant but it's really at least for me it wasn't as like graphic or gruesome or anything like that

as i expected it was more about the interpersonal relationships of these people. And basically it's like this war between the breeders or owners of these big cats like tigers and lions who breed these cubs for like pay to play experiences. So like you can go take photos with these baby lions and tigers. And then there's this woman, Carol, who's like the arch enemy of Joe Exotic, who runs runs a sanctuary but also has been accused of murdering her late husband i mean it's bananas and she's kind of loony i mean it's like they're all loony they're all loony tunes and um for what it's worth i will say if anyone is telling you to play with a tiger cub or lion cub they do not have that animal's best interest in heart nope at heart and um animals are not props so don't play with them yeah that's my that's my support these people um no so the meme that i have okay great yeah let's get to the funny stuff it's uh stefan from snl

stefan in the image and here's what the meme says uh savannah also shared this on patreon only facebook group tiger king has lions, murder, a gay redneck throuple, alligator arson, mullets, pizza made from expired Walmart meat, a zoo-based sex cult, a crazy cat lady, and country songs about tigers and gay love. End of meme? Why did I say anything? That's literally- I know.

I was like sitting here like, oh, don't worry. I'm going to cover all of it. I'm so sorry. That is a full synopsis of the entire series. Not a joke. Not an exaggeration. You watch Joe Exotic, this crazy man who ran for governor. Oh my...

And his music videos... Everything just gets crazier where you're like, wait, wait, wait. Politics? Wait, wait, wait. Insane. I mean, and then suddenly he's throwing condoms with his face on it like during the rodeo gubernatorial campaign and like yeah expired walmart meat that he's serving to oh my that was like the expired walmart thing meat was one thing and then later when they opened a pizza chain or pizza restaurant and they're like oh yeah we use

that walmart meat i'm like what like it is it just gets so crazy i know that that was a lot to throw you especially if you haven't seen it but it is something i'll tell you that much we do now have some reviews based on the series i think we did we went different directions with this which is exciting for you guys great so exciting i'm sure i chose reviews of the actual uh documentary itself right so here is my first one this is a five-star review by john fantastic picture of the true heart of the united states that's a five-star that is a five-star review yeah i mean hey someone like i think um leslie jones posted on instagram earlier like if one more fucking person asked me to watch this series like

i watch donald trump every goddamn day i will not watch this stupid fucking series all those memes of like they photoshopped donald trump on joe joe exotic's face and then uh hillary clinton on uh carol baskins i mean it's like so funny you got like it's state of u.s politics and it's so ridiculous that you'd think like oh it's so extreme but like no it's like pretty much exactly what's going on i'm gonna touch on that whole carol baskins thing by saying like it's quite the smear campaign all the people they interviewed were not like experts on it they were literally people who they interviewed a sheriff who who worked on the case well apparently the police what i read is that the police in the case said that she actually was very forthcoming and what did you read that on her website on her website uh-. And there was actual documents that...

I'm sure there were. Okay. Listen, I'm not gonna... Well, all I'm gonna say is I don't personally believe any docu-series is not biased in any way whatsoever. I believe fully that they were seeking the story, obviously. And followed what was, like, sensational. I think what bothered me the most was that and i mentioned this to you when we talked about it was that there was an episode completely dedicated to her killing her

husband supposedly allegedly allegedly then there was nothing more about it the rest of the series and that made me that really like made me think okay like they have nothing there's no actual evidence they have circumstantial evidence and it kind of sucks that now so many people on the internet are like it's like calling for her head because they're like she needs to be in prison but there was no proof laid out there was no proof they ramped it up to such a point that you were like all right now like where's the kicker and then it was like anyway back to joe exotic and his gubernatorial campaign and i was like what the fuck and then people were like supporting him they're like but they literally went through the process of putting him in jail

y'all he literally convicted shot a dummy of her on camera multiple times like this is how insane their dynamics and yet people are like they should put carol in prison instead of her or instead of joe i'm sorry did you see carol's wedding photos where her husband was in a cat, like half naked cat outfit and she was walking him on a leash. She should be put in prison for other reasons than murder. But they were meant to be in that case. They were meant to be out of my eyeshot. But anyway,

so it was pretty bad. You're right. This is a review of the greater Wynwood exotic animal park. I went for a different route. I found reviews of the actual parks that were referenced in the series. Now, the GW Animal Park is where Joe Exotic, our friend, had a bunch of animals. That's all I'm going to say. Yep.

I don't know how else to even begin to cover what it was exploitation just watch it if you haven't watched it why are you still listening to this take it get it over with take my word for it the gw exotic animal park owned by joe exotic one star by joely this place is awful me and my family went we bought a tiger cub playtime for 50 dollars our appointment was at 3 3030. The lady left with the cub and came back around 4.45 to start our playtime. During the playtime, the cub was so grumpy. We totally kept in mind that it's a wild animal, so we can't completely predict how they'll act, but we didn't get to touch it or anything because it was so grumpy.

After our encounter, my elderly grandma went to go complain, and the lady at the front told her to get her ass out. Would rate this place negative stars if I could, frown face. End of review. I mean, that's pretty accurate of what was on there. Yeah, which is why people shouldn't be going there to support this shit. Yeah, um... Complaining about the animal. don't complain about the animal being grumpy that's so fucked up because he's well let me exploit him six hours old and misses his mommy yeah grandma grandmama this is so freaking grandma bring that tiger cub that grumpy tiger come back grandmama grandm grandma please don't i want him

no don't go back there my next review is by david of the documentary five stars that amount swag should not be locked up free tiger king and was that him was that joe exotic joe from prison uh wait we're already doing spoilers. Joe from prison. Prison computer lab? I think that's actually the first scene is him in prison. So never mind. That's not a spoiler.

Y'all, he went to jail. Spoiler alert. Okay. I have another review. So this is basically a review I found of the same of Joe Exotic's park. But it almost adds more to the story than what you saw in the documentary. Like a whole element that I read a bunch of times in reviews that wasn't mentioned in the series. There's a podcast about it as well, correct?

There is. I will say there is a podcast. I think it's called Joe Exotic by Wondery. And when it came out, a lot of people suggested it to me. I, again, had read a little bit about Joe Exotic in Florida and I avoided it because of the whole animal cruelty thing and then Eva listened and said yeah I don't know like you might want to avoid it just in case there's too much and so I completely avoided it and then when I started the series I didn't really realize it was about him yeah and I will say from what i read years ago in florida years ago two years ago um it was that he was feeding kittens to alligators but like that never

oh my god you brought that up to me that was about joe exotic oh my god and it didn't really occur to me until in the series he had a whole thing of like a whole building of alligators and then i realized oh shit Like maybe that was connected, but it wasn't mentioned at all in the series. Thank God. But so that's what I had read. And Eva was like, maybe don't listen if like that's too much for you.

So I didn't listen to the podcast. I did watch the series. And as a very big sensitive baby, I didn't find the series to be too much for me. Just saying. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal probably. So when you need to

break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for craft dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love that's when it's gotta be kd when you gotta do you it's gotta be kd shop now today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human up or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters This is a one-star review by Tiger Queen. What's Tiger Queen? This is a review by Tiger Queen. Oh, by Tiger Queen.

Sorry, we got a tweet. It was about Beachy Sandy. Alex Zinner, he's paying attention to social media instead of me. Sorry, this is a review by Tiger Queen. How many stars? This is a one-star review by Tiger Queen. This place doesn't even deserve one star. Please do not support this man and his god-playing antics.

He is the modern-day North Korean dictator for tigers. How is this happening in America? They are caged in small corridors, the animals are miserable, and the staff has absolutely no idea what they are doing. They look like they weren't even trained, which was a very uneasy feeling as a paying customer. Joe King is an imposter. He is an illusionist brainwashing everyone who enters there by claiming he is the world's leading tiger expert, when in all reality he's working closely with scientists creating hybrid cats and species of cats that don't even exist. He claims he has recreated a saber-toothed tiger from 360 million years ago. What? It isn't

normal to breed a liger with a tiger. He even claims the genetics of them cause them to not determine if or when they will ever stop growing, what they will look like, and how their temperament will be. He could be creating monsters for all we are unaware of. All that place is to him is a science experiment. Joe barks orders at his employees, even seeing a young lady on a tour I went on yesterday being yelled at in front of everyone because of lack of experience. It's almost like he assumes everyone knows about these big cats. The employees were standing around saying how evil of a person he is. He treats them terribly. These cats are in danger, the employees are in danger, and Joe King needs to be stopped immediately. Save your money, save these animals. Don't support this man. There is a petition.

I recommend you sign it. Go. Now. End of review. Call to action. I like that. Now, the saber-toothed tiger thing. Yes.

What the fuck? So many reviews were like, he's claiming he's creating saber-toothed tigers. Like, that was a, it's a real thing a real thing like he really is claim he claimed at least it's a real claim let's say that okay yes it's a real claim that he says he is recreating 360 million year old species in his tiger park where he feeds them walmart expired baloney after watching that series um i doubt that that's real really yes yeah so this is a very real thing and people were actually getting upset by the fact that he was quote creating saber-toothed tigers they were like that is against god's will and i was like okay let's rewind very far i don't think god is sitting

there like you know what saber-toothed that's too far the saber-toothed tiger thing that's just too far joe he's watching the documentary. He's like, check. Okay. Check. Yep. I'll allow it. Check. Sabretooth. I got rid of those things. 300 million. I'm sorry. The Earth wasn't around that long ago. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Correction. 2020 years ago. Yep.

My next one is by Andrew. Five stars. It's like Trailer Park Boys and Making a Murderer had a baby and they play with tigers. Yeah, tigers. Quite possibly the best story ever told.

Oh, one more thing. Missing limbs. That's all I'm gonna say. Oh my god! This is the new Joe Exotic podcast. Because everything you're saying perfectly sums it up without having to be a 12 episode series. It is literally Trailer Park Boys mixed with Making a Murderer and Plus Tigers. And the whole limbs.

Plus Tigers minus limbs. There are so many disgusting parts, though. I mean, when they were butchering the cows when they were yeah when he had the we're not trying to make this horse limb sure picture that was gross yes there are some disturbing elements to it that are mostly feeding the tigers but yeah five stars from andrew this is a one-star review by Maddie of Joe Exotic's zoo, whatever you want to call it. And this again, I just want to give like a more well-rounded image of Joe Exotic as a character. Please, please. The series clearly didn't give everything we needed to know. No, I figured you

would need more. So this is a one-star review by Maddie. This does not even deserve one star. If I could give it zero stars, I would. This is my first and only review on Yelp, and it was so pitiful I had to write it. We went to this place thinking it would be a great experience for the children, and the first thing that Joe Exotic, the man and the legend himself, with half-naked photos of himself and his piercings hanging around the property, was, how the hell are you doing? Seriously?

He was very disrespectful and had a raunchy personality, constantly making dirty adult jokes that were inappropriate for the large crowd of children. He even told my children that a camel's phallus is backwards. I was waiting for them to get older before I told him that.

PG-13. He even told my children that a camel's phallus is backwards so that it can urinate on itself when it was hot. While he preceded him. Okay, I'm sorry. Like, that is, of everything we watched in that show, that is the least offensive thing that he did. That's like a literal zoo animal fact. And I'm like, wow, that's actually kind of fascinating. If it's true, I don't know.

Like maybe the saber-toothed tiger did that too. I don't know. While he precedingly forced a 10-year-old's face into a camel's face to kiss it. He smashed a banana into another girl's face. And also ripped the audience's $240 in half. His seeming goal is to interbreed cats so that someday in the future he can recreate saber-toothed tigers. Not kidding! The tour itself, when seeing the animals, was not as bad,

because other tour guides were talking and not making constant inappropriate jokes in front of children. But at one point, after everyone kissed a camel, he decided to blurt out that the camels had been eating their poop all day, so over 100 people just ate feces! The property was very unsanitary, and there were no cameras or phones allowed. They would be confiscated if seen. Cute baby tigers, but crazy Joe Exotic. By far the sketchiest zoo I have ever visited with my children.

Smiley face. Forgot to add that we have washed our hands over 15 times and still do not feel clean. End of review. Yep. I feel the same way after watching. I'm like, I don't feel clean. You know how we're all like trying to be careful with our Purell? It's all gone. It's all gone. We were so horrified. Yeah. I was like, I felt like I ate feces and that I had urinated on myself. Gross. So I Purelled my whole body. However however the camel thing is like saber-toothed tigers another very common thing on the tours that he makes everyone kiss a camel and then he says guess what he ate his own poop all day everyone just ate obviously some dumb joke yeah i know but he does

it every single time and people are horrified because their five-year-old just put their mouth on it yeah camel um that pause that you had was questionable. There's a lot of words floating in my head right now, so I don't really want to go there. But yeah, he apparently rips people's money up, like, just because. I mean, some might say he's exotic. I wouldn't go that far.

No, you wouldn't call him that? No, he's just your average Joe. Stupid. That was really dumb. I know. No, you wouldn't call him that. No, he's just your average Joe. Stupid. That was really dumb. I know. No, from both of us. Don't worry. Okay.

My next review is my only negative, actually. Really? I have two reviews left. Yours have been very uplifting so far. This is a one star. Because people have been responding very positively. Not always in a good way, but just 10 stars or 5 stars. This is a one star out of 10.

We're not used to 10. I know. This is a big scale. That's why I'm saying this. By Digital. Egos unchecked are a bad thing is the title of the review. Okay. I was bored within the first few minutes, but I went through every episode.

People like this need serious medication and therapy. Think of Honey Boo Boo meets Buck Wilde meets Duck Dynasty meets Barnum and Bailey Circus. It is a clusterfuck made in hell. Seriously, these people make the human race look terrible. End of review. I never thought I would agree with a one-star, but... Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's the thing is that what's what bothered me. There's so many negative reviews criticizing the documentary or how the film was made or how.

But this felt very like, oh, these people are terrible. One star. There were so many of those. And I'm like, that's the point. You're not supposed to like these people. But I love that this person literally said, I watched every single episode and I hate these people. Yeah but that's the point. You're not supposed to like these people. But I love that this person literally said, I watched every single episode and I hate these people. Yeah, that's the point.

Yeah. I watched every single episode. Yeah. Yeah. It was boring, but I watched everything. It's like. It couldn't have been that boring if you really had to go to the internet and write a whole review about how much it was like Honey Boo Boo, who's very much not boring as we can

all agree. Thank you. Yep. honey boo boo who's very much not boring as we can all agree thank you yep um it is kind of like toddlers and tiaras uh mixed with trailer park boys it's mixed with the 2016 election the trashiest things you can think of like throw it all together and then but just like then politics yeah and then throw that's the weirdest part that there's like poor poor large cats that really that was part of the thing in the end i was kind of like what about those animals it's something where it's like get them oh yeah by the way they're all being exploited

and abused but look at how crazy the people are but like can we talk which i mean that's why it's so popular and i i said to blaze when we finished i was like i hope people are taking some sort of action yeah it doesn't seem like much has happened um so i'm gonna look into that and see if there's anything that can actually be done because um at the very least it hopefully starts conversations back up about the what the big cat act or whatever whatever it's called the yeah because i don't even remember what it's called. You were right. But I mean, like, when our stepmom was little, and I used to tell this story all the time, her brother bought a bear from a magazine, a catalog, and it was just delivered to their house in Cincinnati.

And it ended up going to, like, long story short, it ended up at the Cincinnati Zoo and lived a long and fruitful life. But like people could you could just buy exotic animals from catalogs. Yeah. Literally. And the fact that these animals are continued to be exploited in 2020 is so messed up. Yeah. A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind

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Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. That being said, let's move to Big Cat Rescue. Okay. Now, um... Carol runs Big Cat Rescue, and she is the arch-nemesis of Joe Exotic. Let's just read the review.

This is a once-reviewed by Manuel. This is a real review. That's in parentheses. Oh, okay. So does that mean it is real if it's in parentheses? You know what? I'll find out. I can't promise you you'll have any answers by the end.

I'm nervous. This is a real review. From start to finish, it was bad vibes. Kids walked in with smiles and walked out without them. Me myself was looking forward to a great experience and it was complete opposite. The big cats are beautiful, but the lack of energy and enthusiasm from employees was the worst part. I felt as if I was a child on a field trip with mean teachers.

I felt as if I was a child on a field trip with mean teachers. The tour guide says, look, there's Manny or Armani, our big cat, and calls the cat. But when someone says, aw, hey Manny, nope, you're quickly shushed and told that is disrespectful to the animal, yet the employee can do so. Almost everyone in our group was told to not do that. And it sucked the life and fun from our experience. While walking, they watch your every step. If you're too far or close to the group and while taking pictures and videos with your phones, how not to get too close over and over like a child and not to touch the surrounding fences of the big cats.

I've seen people out there put their hands on the fence unintentionally just to hold themselves up while hearing the story of the cat. And they get told to step away from the fence. Oh my, Manny. You don't, that's the way you learn that lesson. By being told not to. You don't learn it the hard way by getting your arm ripped off. I mean, that's literally what happens in this show. People's arms literally get ripped off. Literally from putting their hand in the fence.

Manny. Manny, come on. I've seen people put their hands on the fence unintentionally just to hold themselves up while hearing the story- Wait, is Manny the tiger or the reviewer? Manuel is the reviewer. It just hit me. I'm like, wait, wasn't the tiger named Manny? You're right.

Manny is the tiger. And Manuel is the reviewer. And get told to step away from the fence. Grown men told to shush. What does you have, being a man have to do with any of this shit? Obviously men can be pretty fucking dumb too. Oh, you heard it from the wise man himself. The baddest boy of podcasting.

It was the most uncomfortable feeling and think things should be changed. Tours should be more fun for the visitors. I'll never go there again. I'll rather donate to big cats and all animals in need than experience and endure that again and leave with such satisfaction and disappointment. People should not come in, be more welcoming and happy to see animals and leave upset and bothered. Employees need to be more welcoming and happy for your support. Very depressing. If you do go, I hope you don't move in the wrong direction or say one thing. Watch your hands, watch your mouth

and your feet and try and enjoy your tour. See how quickly you want to leave. Enjoy. End of review. Notice the difference between these reviews. Okay. The negative review of Joe Exotic's place is about how, quote unquote, casual? I don't know how to describe it.

How rude and loose. I don't know. Not rude. How they don't know how to like describe it how rude and like loose like i don't know not rude like how they like aren't don't have the rules they don't they act however they want some of the reviews of that place strict we're like oh tigers are just walking around on leashes and jokingly joe exotic will go like watch out yeah tiger's gonna eat your children like and then you get big cat rescue and you're like you get a one-star review about how strict they are about the rules you want to stick your arm in the cage which one would you feel safer going to and better about going to yeah come on well um it's not about being safer it's about having more fun true and i think you're really not understanding he's like nanny's point he's like how can i feel like i'm exploiting these animals if i can't put my hand on their fence and yell at them i get it this was written you're right

by manny the tiger himself yeah saying wow why don't you just fucking let these grown men put their arms inside the fence for once i'm hungry for something that's not expired walmart i'm just kidding why don't you let them put their arms in yeah but so um then they responded i didn't read the response but it was basically something like yes trust me we are just as frustrated when we consistently have to tell a group of visitors to stop yelling at the cats and also stop putting their hands inside the fence like seriously we just as you are don't enjoy that experience yeah and don't enjoy people wandering off with their cameras and i think that's something with the

like we've read museum reviews and museum where they talk about people being really strict in there they probably don't want to yell at you but if you do something that's worthy of being yelled at you're gonna get yelled at the best one they're like they enjoyed telling us i was like no they didn't actually though it's like that one geology that rock museum we read where they were like we just wanted to touch the rocks i don't even remember that it was the museums in idaho in boise yeah i remember that and it was like we just wanted to touch the rocks and they wouldn't let us touch the rocks. People are insane. People are insane. I just wanted a little nibble from a tiger on my forearm. My last review is another five star.

Don't worry, guys. Thank God. This is by Zach of a review of Tiger King. This batshit crazy, My Strange Addiction style docu-series bops between Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Florida. Three of America's greatest treasures. Tracking the passion, love lives, drama, crime, and competition between some of America's most eccentric big cat breeders and sanctuary owners. I know what you're thinking.

Are there big cat game preserve proprietors who are not eccentric? Frankly, I don't know. No, the answer is definitely no. Based on what I've seen, they definitely know. But these people have got to be the most eccentric by quite a clip.

Don't believe me? Choose your fighter. Ever the romantic, Joe Exotic. A one-man combination of both Siegfried and Roy. And probably a little Liberace as well. Oh my god, that's exactly, that's the triad. You keep getting, like we keep having these comparisons and each one like rings truer than the one before. It's like another light bulb goes off.

Whose real passion is meth-addicted pretty boys half his age and living it up in the limelight. Carol Baskin, a Lady Macbeth Amy Fisher. Remember Mary Jo Budafuco? Do you know that story? Sounds familiar. So I did look it up.

Amy Fisher is known as, I think it was I have it right here. Became known as the quote, Long Island Lolita. She was called that by the media in 1992 when, at the age of 17, she shot and severely wounded Mary Jo Butofuco, the wife of her illicit lover, Joey. Initially charged with first degree attempted murder, she eventually pleaded guilty to first degree aggravated assault and served seven years in prison so yeah anyway so that's the story it's like a true crime it is a true crime thing so that's who amy fisher is that's the reference i'll start that sentence over carol baskin a lady macbeth amy fisher mashup who is one disaster of a game preserve owner who almost certainly killed her first rich husband and dresses every day like she's attending

the Cats Ensemble Woodstock performance. That was my favorite part. I'm like, yep, actually, that part is accurate at least. The little Cats Woodstock. Doc Antle, a self-proclaimed spiritual guru who lives with a few wives and a harem of female interns on his savannah inspired south carolinian zoo like charles manson but this time tigers hold on hold on hear me out charles manson but hear me out tigers that's a that's that's

quinn and tarantino's next movie. TM, TM, TM. Or the abusive, icy-eyed, quiet-tempered, party boy, angel investor Jeff Lowe, who villainously grifts Joe Exotic out of his cats, money, and property before deciding to move his operation to the outskirts of Las Vegas. The drug kingpin, who was the inspiration for Scarface, makes an appearance as well. But frankly, he is the least interesting character. Wow. Wild ride. Garen goddamn teed.

End of review. That's beautiful. I know. Sums it all up so nicely. It's a beautiful piece of literature. Forget Macbeth, Lady Macbeth. Yeah, what? Who even wrote that?

Don't bring Shakespeare into this. Oh, is that Bill? Ugh, Bill Shakespeare. Talk about Zach. Let's talk about zach and his writing bill's always trying to like one up everyone wow i mean it's true the one kingpin mobster is like truly the most forgettable character in the entire series how crazy it is so bizarre i mean and the one guy he carries tigers in a suitcase through vegas casinos like it's just the most insane thing you've ever seen and it's all those little things that you kind of forget about and then you were like oh wait that happened too didn't it yeah and that's

why reading these reviews of their actual places was so weird because somebody wrote like i just went to this place but then later someone told me that he used to roll tigers through casinos in his suitcases and i was like this was written before the series clearly um there's a lot of like gossip online but that would be shocking to go and like probably feel really weird about going and then later watching that series like holy shit i've been there it all makes sense now and a lot of people met him like met joe exotic and we're like who the fuck is this fucking guy now weirdly that's probably a sense of pride oh i met the guy i have a photo with that guy he carries a gun around and pretends to shoot people with it okay this is my last

one star review this is a review of um myrtle beach safari oh yeah owned by none other than bagavan doc antle bagavan means lord name yeah he called himself bagavan yeah because and then changed all the women's names this is so abusive fuck truly these teenage girls would come to his farm his zoo and he would like abuse them and then talk to him it was like i mean it's a cult it's a cult. It's a cult. But so he changed his... He's basically grooming them to... He's grooming them. Be his... His many wives. Jesus.

Like this show just gets wilder and wilder. Anyway. So his place of business is called Myrtle Beach Safari. And this is the one-star review by Doris. I just got back from the safari and seeing the different animals was amazing. However, I was just very disappointed with a few things. The interactions with the monkeys were very limited and a majority of the time was spent focusing on the tigers instead. We got enough time to sit a cub on our lap for a pick

but then they took him and handed him to the next people. I didn't even get to touch the liger, wolf, and didn't even see a lion. Bubbles the elephant was awesome. When I asked if he can pick me up, Oh my god. that treatment as well as the chimps no interaction but just to watch them paint a couple t-shirts and swim around then they were gone but once again on instagram i see more celebrities with these animals playing and taking pictures shaking my head i understand they are raising money for these animals but that favoritism towards celebrities is bs All in all, we made the best of it. I just wish it was more of a bang. End of review. I just wish that elephant had murdered me in his trunk. Just like he did to all those cool celebrities.

I wish I could have exploited these animals more than they let me. God, I wish, like, she hadn't. I wish Doris hadn't called out your Instagram. There's a lot of pictures of Alexander being carried around by elephants. I'm trying to build up my vegan persona, like you're trying to ruin it i know taking pictures with chimpanzees who are painting portraits of you painting the shirt painting the shirt on your back um slimming around and then they were gone oh the nerve don't you hate when that happens though yeah what what the fuck people

i'm like what's i mean actually i do know what celebrities apparently was there i saw in that shack was a joe exotic yeah oh where did who went to myrtle beach whatever okay so it wasn't i don't know who actually went but he was involved in britney spears britney spears performance with the tigers oh i think it was the vmas if i'm not mistaken and there's pictures of the two of them together gross and then yeah shack released a statement being like i don't know i was just in town in florida and like saw a tiger preserve and went there and he's like i don't know this guy i don't know who he is like they use that photo i just met him once and didn't realize what was going on.

They had footage. They had full footage of Shaq there. They did. That's not a good look. It's not a good look, no. He had to explain himself. And then finally, I have a redemption. You don't have any more, right?

Please redeem us. Nope, I'm out. Okay. This is a redemption of Big Cat Rescue. You know, our friend Carol's place. This is a review by Big Cat Rescue. You know, our friend Carol's place. This is a review by Bebe. Five stars. Great tour.

Sincere, dedicated folks. Exquisite cats to see and learn about. Visit for sure if in Tampa area. A cat person's paradise. Reasonable priced gift shop and lots of information to get you out there duking the bad guys and saving those furry lives oh yeah now i'm not done oh no because then i kind of uh got a little hung up on one thing called the gift shop and i went i must know more about this big cat rescue gift shop oh you've seen carol's Yes, did you buy me a gift?

I want to list you some items that you can pick. Oh, yay. How's that? Maybe. Don't say maybe. Promise me you'll buy me this. I promise you right now I will buy you whichever one you pick. Okay?

Okay, I have to pick right now? Okay. You have to pick right now. Yes, you do. Like without seeing it, right? Let's raise the stakes. Okay. I'll describe them to you so one um i i put i picked a selection out of someone's review that to give like a little

bit of context a little amuse bouche if you will says a great gift shop with everything from cool tiger print underwear and clothing to cast lion footprints so that's kind of i saw that as a second review and went i must know exactly what's in this gift shop so 100 of proceeds go directly to the care and treatment of the animals and this is a volunteer-run organization and uh i went to the website and went on to the gift store shop or onto the gift um gift shop site each animal has its own line of product and i mean literally each animal every single bobcat bobcat like by name like each every single by name like angel the bobcat has her own section of merchandise oh my gosh and there are probably 16 bobcats and that's

just the bobcats there's obviously lions tigers bears oh my what not really but every single animal has its own line of product but then i looked at the more general designs okay so because i didn't have time for that um there is an i heart tigers necklace there is a bobcat photo locket it's a little bobcat inside there is a game called wild animalopoly and this is the description who knows you may become the caretaker of a two-ton rhino or you might get the dream or you might get fleas whatever happens it's howling good fun it's wild i feel like that's your audition do they need a spokesperson because that was incredible did i get it did i get the part if it were mine to give no i feel like at the end there it was like two siblings uh arguing over which line got the like final it's like it's howling

good fun and it's wild it's like it's howling good fun and then like enter enter it's wild they just pick both. And then there's the t-shirts. And this is really where... This is where I'm interested because I wasn't interested in the other things. No, this is your time to shine. I know you wanted that bobcat locket, but here's the real stuff. So here are a couple designs. There's about 40, but I picked, I think, four.

Okay. The first one says, all I care about is rescuing tigers and like maybe three people and beer you know that's not real it says that those words on it like word for word yes you know there's shirts that say like all i care about is dogs and maybe three people yeah so it says all i care about is rescuing tigers and like maybe three people and beer. They like shoved in beer. Giving everything in there. Into it.

So there's St. Patrick's Day special or something? I think maybe. The next one is. How many of these are going to be keep calm and save tigers? Actually not a single one. Wow, okay. You could probably corner the market. Oh, wow.

No one's thought of that before. I think you could probably TMTM corner the market. The next one says, I just want to drink wine and rescue bobcats has cute curls empty font i do want to drink wine right now it curls empty yes no always all of these no always i know you said always not all of these she's not. However, there are a lot of definitely homemade. I can't believe there are more. Homemade. Oh, yes.

So these are the better ones. I actually put pictures of them. Better ones? Yeah, I put pictures of them into the document here. How quick is shipping? Because this episode comes out later this week. Are we going to get it in time for my photo? I got to expedite, right?

Okay, we'll do it, yeah. I got to expedite. Okay, so there's two more now this is one that um is game of thrones inspired it says these wolves are in dire need sandy you gotta fucking write this shit down and stop saying it's pretty good carol's gonna steal that oh carol no give me some royalties carol's gonna steal that right out i need to know what does it say it says i am cat lisi the first of her name queen of meowreen queen of the kibble and the catnip and the first meow lord of the seven kittens protector of the red dot the unscratched mother of cats magnus cat liberandum that's big cat rescue to you mere mortals

okay that's one there's no there is no way all of this fits on one shirt i'm gonna turn it around oh my god you know what that font what does that font remind you of game of thrones okay what else anything else um um no a middle school religion religion class poster that's what you would see in a religion class but it would be a bible quote or something it reminds me totally or like a latin project we did in seventh grade no you're right where we like in second grade we we learned what word art was and mrs u cotter made us uh pick a different name for the lord and i picked like

father of men or like shepherd or something and then we had to like create a cool little word art anyway um visit beach to sandy.com slash mark just kidding and now i'm gonna read you the shirt that i bought blaze did you actually not really oh because i might want this one actually maybe i will buy it for blaze okay what's it say it says i never dreamed i hate it already i never dreamed i'd end up with a super sexy wild cat lady. But here I am, living the dream. I've never dreamed this, but it is now my dream, now that it's happened.

Here it is. I'll show it to you. Jesus Christ. And Blaze wears it proudly to work at the emergency room last time i saw that shirt was in the checkout line at uh hobby lobby except without the word sexy that's too much and definitely with the christian font yes with the cross religion one lord of lord of shepherds anyway so that's what i enjoyed at the carol baskin gift shop well now that we have thousands of people listening to this, I would like to request... I actually can't pick.

I'm between two. I'm going to be honest. There are like 40 in there. Okay, what are the ones you're stuck between? The first two. The first two? The first two got me. I really like that weird beer one because it's like so dumb.

But I kind of like how succinct the second one is. I just want to drink wine in my seatbelt. Yeah, it's just so dumb but the like i kind of like how succinct the second one is i just want to drink wine yeah it's just so dumb i will say too i think that's the one that's the one i want okay i will say there are multiple of those that say i just want to drink beer and rescue bobcats i just want to drink wine and rescue tigers i just want to drink beer and rescue bobcat i feel like the bobcat one is like weirdly specific that's exactly why i picked it yeah yeah yeah so i want that one i want to i just want to drink wine and rescue bobcats let's if we can get this by the time this episode releases i mean we can't but we can try why not because there's covid oh yeah they're probably not they're probably still working they're like cats can't get it that's that's how we're gonna get, is from this fucking T-shirt.

You don't want to get COVID? Yeah, probably. Oh, God. Apparently, Teespring created their own fucking design. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is a cool updated one.

Ooh. Ooh. This actually is pretty cool and badass. Yeah. I would, honestly, if you got me that shirt, if you are getting it for me, because you promised. I will do that right now. That is something I would wear.

Really? Yeah. Okay, I'm buying it for you literally right this second. Perfect. Okay. Rescue dogs and drink wine, please. Who do you think I am? It's not wild enough.

I'm a plebeian. Okay. Anyway, that's our bonus episode. Thank you for listening to our tiger king special why um if you're if for some reason this is the only episode you've listened to our show uh we like to read reviews of things so go listen to our other episodes and uh share this in all your tiger king groups is that a thing i'm sure it's a thing clearly i mean we're doing this so yeah we've been for some reason felt the need to create this so i'm sure people have felt the need to create surprisingly dumber things i was gonna say this might be the dumbest that's exactly right actually but there's literally no explanation for what the hell

we're doing right now so i don't expect anyone to have an explanation for their cool fan clubs. Yeah, and so you don't have to explain yourself when you share this with all your family and friends. All of every single one. But watch the show. I mean, you probably have, but if you haven't, watch the show. It's pretty wild.

Also, please help pass the Big Cat Act, because I'm pretty invested in it now, and I'm going to look into it oh dear god this is the first thing on their damn website mayhem no the picture the video yeah how sweet no carol and howard are kind of gross they weird me out but you know what they're crazy cat people she starts every one of her videos with hey you cool cats and kittens yep it sounded just like her thank you you're welcome all right thanks for listening everyone uh see you on wednesday for a normal episode i guess bye you cool cats and kittens nothing will be normal ever

again Bye.