Beantown Podcast - 09092018_Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown Podcast

Episode Date: September 9, 2018

Quinn comes to you LIVE from Chicago to talk about opening a wine bottle without a corkscrew, joining Google Play & Stitcher, and the 2018 Fall Tour

Hey, it's Clint Furnace. Come to you live, Quinn David Furnace. Welcome to stop number two on the Beentown podcast Fall 2018 tour. We are coming to you live from Chicago, Illinois, the natural state. What's going on? How is everyone doing Sunday? September 9th. It is a great day. It is cool. It feels like fall. I

absolutely love it. I got my coffee. I got my podcast. We got football on today. Life is good. What's happening? First and foremost, the fall 2018 tour. Stop number two. Last weekend we came to you live from Indiana. It was a road trip special. We talked about a lot of different things Mike Pence, penis ring dispensers. We did some fantasy football action. It was good stuff. This week coming to you live from Chicago. Thank you to all because the order has just been confirmed. Finalize is going out today. has just been confirmed, finalized it's going out today. Thank you all who bought a bean town podcast, Fall 2018 tour, Fall t-shirt. Those were a lot of fun to make.

It was a good time. Yeah, we got a record number of orders. The merch is spreading like wildfire, and it's just an exciting time to be doing a podcast, to be, you know, just kind of a social media giant, a social media influencer, if you will. You can always find the podcast on Twitter.

We're at Beentowncast. My personal Twitter is at White Buns with a Z. You can always, always, always email us beantownpodcastatyahoo.com. That is beantown, BEAN2WNpodcastatyahoo.com. Listener discretion is advised when you are listening to the beantownpodcast number one. This podcast will occasionally, although fairly infrequently

use some language, things like rats or gosh darn it or I don't know penis ring dispensers. That's the type of stuff that you'll occasionally see dropped on this show. Number two, the podcast is objectively terrible. This is episode, oh, no, no, we're probably around 35, 36 into this year out of however many 53 plus specials. Which is really exciting because what it means is once we finish up with this fall tour which still has a lot left in it but we're going to be doing the Halloween special and then November hits and then we are more or less into the holiday season two months of that and believe it or not before too long the Binton podcast will be one year in. How crazy is that? We're

definitely going to be doing an anniversary special and maybe try to do some cool editing or something to get like a best of year one. We'll have to get our our intern going to to look at that. But it's an exciting time to be the host of this podcast. There are a bunch of different things, mostly little things that I want to get to on the podcast today. And I didn't write any of them down. So we're going to do our best to remember. I'm not drinking wine currently.

I was last night had some Lou Mel Nadis and had some red wine. Oh, here is an interesting thing. So this wasn't one of the things I was going to be talking about, but let's just kick it off. So drive in to Naperville last night, which is where I'm stationed for this next week, one of the largest cities in the state, Suburb of Chicago. And along the way I stop, I get mind-lue malnadi's Chicago tradition like none other, but I also figure, hey, it's a Saturday night. Why can't I have a good time, even know, even though I'm gonna be by myself,

none of my friends that I reached out to were available, so I was just kinda doing me in more ways than one. But I, so I go to Benny's beverage depot, Chicago institution, the place to get your liquor and your libel and your beer and your libations all that stuff. And I'm thinking, you know, wine is what I'm looking for because I had, I had been drinking a lot of beer, I hadn't had a bottle of wine in a while. So I say, let's do some wine. Let's do a nice, oaky, gravely red to pair with my pizza. And I say gravely and you might think that I'm just being foolish.

No, this wine that I ended up getting last night, you can read the flavor profile from the producer on the little next to the price before you buy anything. This wine, I swear to God, the secondary tastes, I don't remember exactly what all of them were, but one of them was gravely. So if any of my listeners out there are winists or brewers or apires, let me know, and you can explain gravely to me. How do you even make a wine gravely? What's that process like? Anyways, I digest. The wine situation is that I don't have a corkscrew that I travel with. I don't know if you can fly TSA with a corkscrew.

I've never actually looked that up. I would guess not, although really who knows. Long story short, I don't have one. So it's a simple situation, right? You just make sure you get a bottle of wine with a cap. You don't get one with a cork. Well, here's where the mix-up happened. So I walk into binnies and boom, first thing right when you get in the door, there's a nice lady standing there. And she's got vodka samples. Well,

you know, in many cultures, they'll cut your hand off if you don't try the vodka and me not having really been to Naperville before I say, I look, if they're saying try it, you better believe I'm going to try it. It's just vodka. There are a bunch of other things that I would do before my limits would hit. Anyways, so there's this peach infused vodka, and I do some of it, and it's fine. I wasn't there for vodka though, and so I, sorry, as I lose my train of thought here, I was watching the TV and they were showing the Eagles

do the electric side less here against the bears, and I had forgotten about that and how much I absolutely loved it and so I had to pull it up on YouTube. So I can watch it after this. I get my vodka shot and this was a healthy poor, a very, very healthy poor. And not that, you know, I'm not buzzed off of that

but it gives you kind of an internal kick. And I started thinking about something else and spacing out a little bit. And of course, I'm just kind of perusing the halls of Benny's me knowing literally nothing about wine. All I can tell you is there's white, there's red, and then if you mix them, you get a pink. Well, I'm thinking, okay, no, I want a red, because white's too sweet. It gives me a headache. If I'm pairing it with pizza, I really want a red. So, I had completely forgotten about the entire cork verse cap situation. You all know

where this story is going. I find a wine that looks pretty cool, it's lion brand. I want to feel like the king of the jungle when I'm drinking my wine. And of course I get back to my hotel and actually it wasn't like, pull it out like time to drink it was I actually got in my car. Right, I tried to purchase it and I realized what I had done. Of course, I got a bottle of wine with a cork in it. So watch a couple of YouTube videos, just getting some different ideas for how to get the cork out of a wine bottle when you don't have a corkscrew. And there are some options that are relatively straightforward. Like if you have,

well one of them was physically like a hook that you might have in your wall that you can take on. And it's like a screw. Other ones are like hammer and nail. Well, turns out in most Midwestern hotels, they don't provide a hammer and nail. I don't want to talk about it. Anyways, the next kind of viable option here was, they say, put your car key, insert a car key into the cork at a 45 degree angle, which is a lot tougher than that might sound on paper.

So I do that, and the problem is I got this cork that's 100% all natural West African ivory. And so this thing just crumbles right away when I start to do that. And basically what I'm doing is just digging a hole into the center of this cork and the card key's not staying and The cork's not moving at all not that it's supposed to at the stage, but there's just I'm not gonna be able to get any grip on that so

That idea is out the window the next option is to kind of put a hole in it as I was doing and then there's something you can do with a shoe string where you tie a knot and then basically what you try to do is stick it in there as far as possible but now that I think about I don't remember exactly how it works. Long story short, I didn't have any shoe strings that are thin enough to be able to pull anything off like that, so that option was a bust. The next thing they say is to wrap a towel around

your wine bottle, around the sides and the bottom, and bang it up against the wall. Well, here's my issue there. I'm in a hotel that has about six floors full of people, and I just, I know, not really feeling that option, because I did it a couple times and I tried out a couple different surfaces, doors, floors, tables, no matter what I do. It's crazy loud, even with the towel, and I'm really not seeing any change. The next option as laid out by the internet is the holds, the wine bottle upside down, same thing with the towel, wrap it around the sides, wrap it around the bottom. It's smack with your shoe.

And well, you know, I haven't been lifting lately, so I'm feeling a little weak. little week and after about probably two minutes of smacking we had seen zero millimeter movement with the wine bottle so that option is off the table and at this point I'm really getting desperate because what I wanted to do was get the wine bottle out not get it further in. So, we're kind of left with one option here, right? And that is get the wine bottle into the bottle of wine. It was kind of my last resort. It was not what I wanted to do. But alas, that's where we were. So next thing, and this didn't seem like it was going to be the tough part about it, but it turned out to be the tough part,

was, well, it's really tight in there. It's really wedged in there. How am I supposed to push this all the way down? I sound like you just got to give it one from below. It's really wedged in there. How am I supposed to push this all the way down? It's not like you just got to give it one firm blow. It is a series of repeated blows because you got to get it all the way out of that neck. So I tried out a couple different things. I was using some podcasting materials. I tried to use the handle on the door. Eventually, I got lucky. I went into the closet when Quinn came out of the closet as he's known to do. And I get the coat hanger out.

And these coat hangers were wood with a couple of wires to help, not even wires like steel. I don't know what you'd call it, to kind of help with a framework. Anyways, there was one hanger in there that was already kind of busted and part of the wood and a rod at the bottom that you would hang it on, the dowel, whatever you want to call it, was already like out of the wire. And so I was able to use that and it kind of looked like I was you know on the old revolutionary war days when you're you shoot your gun and then you got to put the gun powder back in there. That's what it felt like and that's what it looked like. So I did that and it took a really really long time and I had to do some different things

with the towel to make it more padded for my hand. I was pushing because it wasn't a very comfortable situation. And it was making progress. It was very slow progress. It wasn't just like sticking in there and push. It was like a series of repeated jabs. And the whole time I'm just like mashing up this cork, mashing it all together, and also trying to get it down in there

and eventually, finally, thank God. After probably an entire process that was close to an hour, I got it. And I drank about half of it and then I fell asleep. So I've got the other half waiting for me this afternoon, looking forward to that in the fridge. So that was my 10 minute story about how to open up bottle of wine and the actual experience lasted about five times that long. So anyways, that was what I did last night to prepare

for the tour. And because I spent an extra 45 minutes doing that, I didn't write anything for the podcast. But here we are anyways, because you know what? You the fans who are listening to this, you demand greatness. Week after week, you need a product that is going to fulfill your needs. And that's where Quinn comes in. Comes in. Fills all those empty holes in your life. It's good stuff week after week.

They have a podcast that you know, you love, you trust. That's all I'm doing here. That's what I'm really what I'm here for. So anyways, we've got an advertisement here. So let's get to that. Oh, it's our good friend. It's our good friend. No last co. Do you hate handing off your phone to some stranger so they can take a picture of you and it sucks. Been there, bro. I'm usually the person taking the picture. Every day,

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Again, that is places.in.Chicago, those dots are periods, on Instagram and send a direct message for a free quote. Thank you. Chicago, those dots are periods on Instagram and send a direct message for a free quote. Thank you to our good friends, No Last Co. for supporting the podcast. You can always follow them on Instagram, watch in these dummies, Texans players, play baseball on the field that nuts Anyways, you go to their Instagram page again. It's places.in.Chicago. I was on there Just last week there wasn't a lot of action going on. Let's check it out right now live on the air to see What is happening places.in.Chicago. Here we go.

Still zero posts, okay? You know, same as last time, but it's getting there. Sixteen followers, 46 following. It's not a bad ratio. Don't ever let people shame you for your ratio. Here's the other thing I'll say about that is, you know what?

Everyone seems so concerned on Twitter about having an even 50-50 ratio of people you're following to people who are following you. And I don't see it that way. I don't think social media should be this head game where everything's got to be even or you've got to come out on top with numbers. You should use social media to get what you need out of it.

That's why when I see people get shamed for, you know, having 20 followers and following 200 people, I think that's stupid because social media shouldn't be this game. It should be to Increase your knowledge to increase your happiness. So anyways, there's my soapbox moment about that. Anyways, we are Snapchatting live On air, which is pretty cool. It's like inception. I'm not only am I doing a podcast, but I'm also doing my podcast. This is tough to do. To talk about your

podcast while watching a Snapchat of you doing your podcast, this is crazy, man, this is nuts, this is blowing my mind. Anyways, that's up. You can always follow me on Snapchat. I'm Quinn.Fernice. Anyways, we have a big announcement actually, a couple, but they're all related. They all follow under the same umbrella about the podcast. So people have been with us since the beginning.

You remember we first started out. We were just on YouTube about a month in. We said, hey, most people are listening to their podcast on iTunes, on your podcast app, on your Apple devices. So we did the first-ever Bean Tom Podcast, Bloodstrived, TeleThon, Fundraiser Spectacular. We raised about $75. Thank you all, who donated to that way back

in February, March, whenever we did it. We are going to be doing our second annual edition. That will be coming up in February. If anyone's wondering, is this just like a pyramid scheme or a ploy to just donate money to Quinn? Was this actually doing anything? No, it's not. I don't pocket any of that money.

So when you upload to get an RSS feed, which is what these companies use. If I was a really, really talented, not even really talented, but if I was a good coder, then I could probably make it myself. Unfortunately, I've never taken a computer science class in my lifetime, and I feel like I probably know more about the Japanese language than I do about computer language.

Anyway, anyways. So I pay about $120 a year. It's not bad. $120 a year is about $10 a month to have this RSS feed. And that's how it gets on to iTunes. That is, and this is the announcement, how we get to more platforms as well. So a lot of people have accused the Bean Tom Podcast of just cosying up to Apple and the iPhone users and the iPads of the world. Well, here's a new announcement for you.

Bean Tom Podcast, check it out on Google Play. For those of you Android users who that is sort of your version of the podcast app or iTunes from what I understand. From what my people have told me, we are up on Google Play. The other big thing is a lot of people whether you are Apple, whether you're Android, whatever, anything else, Stitcher is a big app for podcasts at Stitcher, STITCHER, we are now live on Stitcher, which is excellent, very exciting. The bean town brand is growing. And I would encourage everyone to get get on board while you can you

know because once this thing takes off I don't know you know am I gonna have as much time to interact with the fans I don't know am I gonna be able to design all my own merch get a new logo get a logo all that stuff. I don't know. So I just want everyone to be able to have that one-on-one relationship with me while I'm here. You know, while this is still grassroots, you know, before stuff gets crazy. So anyways, they get a sip of coffee here. We're sitting here Comedy live from Chicago as a reminder Second stop on our fall 2018 tour The NFL season is kicking off today. We're watching some pre-game show stuff

Odell Beckham Jr on TV right now with macaroni and cheese on his head Sip in our coffee from our good friends at Starbucks Coffee. It went to Seattle about a month and a half ago to get Starbucks coffee. And I can say that it tastes better when you're closer to the source, the OG. So there's your, there's your advertising for Seattle. No, I'm not getting paid by the city of Seattle. Yes, I will field offers. I will feel interest.

A lot of people in recent weeks have been saying, well, what happened to Jack links, you know, you just given up on Jack links. No, I'm not. But when somebody breaks your heart week after week, and every week you go back and you listen to the tape and you think about all the good times you could have had and how they just, they don't even give you

a second other time. They tweet at you once and then they never even respond to the DMs. It's just a man can only handle so much pain. A man can only handle so much grief in his life. Look at Charlie Brown, look at all that good grief. And now what do you think he's doing middle-aged, balding? Where's the same shirt he did when he was 10? He's got no prospects, no one loves him, no one sends him Christmas cards. So yeah, that's kind of what it's like to be the host of the bean town podcast and have Jack links continually continuously.

Stomp your heart down and throw it on the ground, trample like a rose, like Mufasa, the Lion King. I made a, I was at work while I was, I was working earlier this week and I was in a high school. And I made a Mufasa reference and nobody understood it. Something about Hinkin can trample by Will the Beast and there was no reaction, there was no response. Do kids these days not know the Lion King?

1994, right? I just don't know about this generation. All these kids applying to college were born in 2001 now. How crazy is that 2001? Same year as 9-11. I just say I don't know sometimes Anyways Moving onwards and upwards coming up on the fall 2018 tour next week We will be coming to you live

first-ever podcast maybe ever From bowling green Kentucky. Do they have podcasts and bowling green? I Do they have podcasts and bowling green Kentucky? somebody go check that for us. Do they have podcasts and bowling green Kentucky? Well, if they don't, they're about to because Quinn Davis Fernandez is bringing his circus show live on the road. And I don't use this word lightly, but I think it might be lit. After that, we're going to come to you live from Rockford, Illinois, where

I grew up. We have a very special guest, the accountant. Now it's not Ben Affleck. It's Matthew Feeder. He will be joining us live on the podcast. I also would not be surprised if there was some sort of being town unplugged special series to accompany that episode to look out for that. After that week we will be coming to you live. Let's see where we're going after rockford. Sioux Falls. I believe would be next week after that.

We will join you from Baltimore, Maryland. After that we will be in Chicago once more. Then we will come to you live from Nashville, the music city, maybe have some live music, could be fun, Grand Ole Opry. And then we will come to you live from Beentown for our Halloween special. It'll be taking place. Halloween's on a, what maybe a Wednesday this year. It'll be the weekend before that will be our Halloween special. Halloween sometime right in the middle of the week. It's kind of a bummer right now. Anyways, that is the rest of the Fall 2018 tour and this is how you build a brand. You have a tour, you throw

the concert dates out there, you make the merch, hats, shirts, mortar boards, whatever you need. We got that. And then you what you do is you deliver. Not only through FedEx and UPS and UPS, but you deliver quality content. Week after week, people tune in across the globe. And I mean that because we've got listeners in the East Coast, the West Coast, Mancouver and Winnipeg and Whasilla, Albuquerque. You deliver that content and whether you're on your podcast app or YouTube or SoundCloud or Stitcher or Google

Play or basically anything, Play or FM except for what's that one Spotify because I don't understand that. Why would I pay to have you promote my podcast? Other way around, baby, other way around. Do you not understand? People are paying me to promote stuff on my podcast. That's how this works, Spotify. So you can take a hike. Thank you again to our sponsors, places.in.chicago,

no last coat. again to our sponsors places.in.chicago.nolastco. Maybe check links and maybe city of Seattle. I don't know. I'm gonna tweet at the city of Seattle later today see if they want to enter into a sponsorship deal. But one other thing that I want to touch on this podcast before we wrap up. We are in great time shape right now. There's no reason when I'm just rambling myself for it to go super long. I think 30, 35 minutes is a solid piece of time. This was circulating a little bit in the news lately. And many of you have probably already seen it. And I tend to not talk politics

on the Beentom podcast, but this isn't really a political thing. It just happened in a political setting. The, was he a representative, Tom, something from somewhere, maybe Joplin Missouri I think is where he was from, who there was the Trump supporter who was protesting some sort of hearing or discussion or something.

It wasn't a cabinet thing, it was separate. But this representative from Jopplin used to be an auction year, and he just auctioned her ass right out of that hearing. It's absolutely incredible. It's one of my favorite clips of the entire year. If you just go to YouTube and do you type in auctionary congressman, it's auctionary congressman, Billy Long, drowns out protester at Dorsey here, and you can find it all the different new sites, top hits, it'll be Bloomberg and CBS and Guardian and stuff, USA Today, C-Span,

etc. and stuff, USA Today, C-SPAN, et cetera. Anyways, you can watch it. It's absolutely hilarious. It's only about a minute long, but he just sends her ass right back to wherever white America she's from. So anyways, go check it out, Billy Long. Don't know too much about Congressman Long or his politics judging by the fact that he's from Joplin probably don't agree with his politics, that's

okay. I don't really care because this guy's hilarious. You gotta go watch it. If you haven't seen the auctioneer Congressman, it is a treat, any national pleasure. That is, let's see, we did our advertisement. I wasn't even planning on telling the wine story, but I did. What else?

We got our coffee. We're getting ready for our football season, go vikes, coming up in just a couple minutes here. We got Bears Packers tonight. It's all coming together. It's a good day. I'm planning on kicking ass and fantasy football. That's just how I do it. Otherwise, that's what's been happening. I've been very busy with work. I haven't had as

much of a social media presence lately. Apologies to that. CardCon was podcast doing my best to keep up with all your tweets, but sometimes they just come in hot. And your Facebook status is good for you guys. You're staying in active, fit, engaged, and active on social media, which is that's what it takes in 2018. But this is what I wanted to talk about. This has been Quinn Davis Furnace, host, creator, best boy, and all other aspects of the Bean Tom Podcast. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for following us as we go through this fall 2018 tour. Thank you to everyone who purchased merchandise. Those should be coming to you in the next week, two weeks. It's going to be exciting. You can

wear it around town. Your people can say, what's the Bean Tom Podcast and why should I coming to you in the next week, two weeks. It's going to be exciting. You can wear it around town. Your people can say, what's the bean-tongued podcast and why should I listen to it? And you can say because it's got Quinn. And people have been asking me all the time, and I'm wearing my bean-tongued podcast shirt right now. Thank you to my parents for designing that. Why should we listen to bean-tongued podcast?

And you know what I say? Because look, you're looking at it. If you hate what you see, turn the other way. But if you think, hey, maybe this guy's on to something. Maybe the Bean Tom Podcast just might be the greatest single piece of comedy, talk, art you have ever seen. Who knows? Maybe you'll listen for an episode.

It turns into two episodes. And next thing you know, you're a guest on the being Tom Podcast. And you're talking about stamping, doing your taxes, all American stuff, going to go into school, playing the piano. All working for a beef jerky company. These are all things, day in the life of a podcaster in his guests that you get out of this podcast. This is what America is all about.

This is what liberty is all about. This is what freedom is all about. That's something liberty is all about. This is what freedom is all about. That's something that it's not democratic, it's not Republican, it's not liberal, conservative, it's not even progressive, it's just, it's being town podcast and I'm happy that I can, that I can be your captain, that I can steer this wheel on this crazy ride

that we call life. Beentowns now, Beentowns forever. So, with that, I'll bid you a do, a do, a do, so long, farewell, a V to say, goodnight. We flit, we float, whatever those Austrian children say at the end of that song. This has been Kunday Vifernes. This is my podcast. Thank you for listening.

Enjoy your week. Enjoy this beautiful start to fall. Go Vikes and I'll check in on you next week live from Bowling Green, Kentucky. Thank you.