Beantown Podcast - 2025 New Ballpark Foods (03292025 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: March 29, 2025

Quinn comes to you LIVE to envision Jason Momoa going to town on Rosie O'Donnell, the newly-minted SS Boobs, and preview new ballpark foods for the 2025 season

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show Quinn David Furness presents the Bean Tom podcast for Saturday, March 29 2025. What's happening? What's going on? How are you last podcast of March? hanging out here on a overcast Saturday the temps have jumped up here in Chicago as has the humidity I was running through a swamp on my 10k this morning just wait till we get the midge spawn oh geez get tiny little bugs everywhere that's why I wear my sunglasses starting this time of year whether it's sunny or not, between the wind and the dust particles and the midges,

midges, midgites, the midgets on the on the trail there by the lake. It gets a little bit tough. We're coming to you live on a Saturday morning here, gearing up for the Elite 8. I gotta tell you, I don't think I'm gonna win any of my brackets, but I feel pretty proud of myself, or win any of my pools, I just have one bracket. I feel pretty proud of myself, because I got seven of the eight Elite 8 teams right and I know this is not a particularly unique year to say that you know it's it's one verse two one verse two one verse two one verse three and the more I talked this out the more embarrassing is but the only one I missed

was the three which is Texas Tech playing Florida I had st. John's instead who is the two seed. So if you're doing the math at home, yes, Quinn picked the one and two seeds to play in the Elite Eight across all four quadrants, which now that I say it out loud, doesn't sound as impressive. But you know what, it is what it is.

I stuck to my guns. I came in this bracket thinking, you know what, NIL has changed everything. All the talent has gravitated all the way to the top. We're probably never going to get a Wichita State or an FAU or a George Mason or a Butler in the final four. It's just not the lay of the land until there's some regulation introduced. So I said, let's go with the big dogs and you know like it or not it it has paid off. I don't think it will actually pay off with any bracket pool winnings but who's to say? We'll find out in a week or so here. I am the creator the host and the chief bracketologist call me Jerry Palm, of this show.

CBS heads will know who I'm talking about. And we are coming to you live, we already mentioned that. Thank you to Paki Stan, who is not, I'll give you a little clue. We're gonna do trivia later on, it's gonna be a list. There's gonna be five answers, and Paki Stan is not one of the five, which is gonna narrow things down by a lot for you.

But thank you to P for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the great Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Whether you're listening from Karachi, Khyberpass, Hyderabad, wherever, doesn't matter. Thanks for listening. A quick shout out to everyone over the last two holiday seasons plus birthdays who has contributed to the Quinn and Rachel bar cart because we are locked and loaded. We're like a double stuffed Oreo over here. Or Chips Ahoy used to have like a stuffed cookie. It was just the execs, the big wig marketers, Mad Men style over at Chips Ahoy said, let's what if we had two

cookies and then added more sugar. And that's what you got. The Chipwitch, I think. I don't know Chipwitch, is that like a ubiquitous term? Is that TM trademarked by anyone? Who knows? But there's a great commercial with there on a city bus it's claymation in these there's this little slice of cream sitting down in a middle seat and the two chips get in on either side and the bus starts rocking and rolling and they squeeze together and they sing I'm squeezed in the middle. And I only thought of that because I was, my dad or my mom have an iMemories account which allows, I don't know how it works, I've never done it, I just profit off of it. With personal enrichment, basically you send in your old videotapes, they convert them

to digital and give you, you know, MP4 files. So I have access to that account every once in a while. When I've got some downtime, I will just throw those on. And this week, I was watching, we used to do our own as children, our own version of some, I don't know if they're all Grimm fairy tales. Off the top of my head, we did the three little pigs. I don't think that's a Grimm's fairy tale, but who knows? It's you got, you got this pantheon of fairy tailors, right think that's a Grimm's fairy tale, but who knows. You got this pantheon of fairy tailors, right? You got the Grimm brothers. You got Charles Perl, P-E-R-A-U-L-T. You got Hans Christian Andersen's got some fairy tale in them. A lot of this stuff has been picked

up by Disney and it is now just recognized as Disney property but the OGs, you know, the story heads will know going back centuries about these guys. But we did Three Little Pigs, we did Rapunzel, we were just acting these out as kids, we did Snow White is in the news very much right now. This was pre-Rachel Ziegler. This was almost closer to the original Snow White than it is to the remake. Snow White was probably a Furnace production filmed in 2001, 2002, something like that. So we're about 25 years past that.

And the OG Snow White, I think, was 1940, so ever so slightly closer to the remake than the OG, but regardless. And then our unfinished work Cinderella really got off the rails. My brother Walt was primarily the cameraman, but he started to do something. We could get him on the show and he could explain it maybe. I don't want to slander or libelize him, but there is one funky scene with like a magic groundhog and we had like this plastic, you know, food that went with my sister's playhouse and stuff and there's like a magic weenie and stuff.

It's not as sexual as it sounds, but we never actually finished Cinderella. Anyways, on these iMemories tapes, I found the three little pigs and Rapunzel. And Rapunzel is great because it's kind of a quickie. It's like two minutes, but then at the end there's a great kind of, you know, how like the Will Smith movies would have the rap credit sequence in the... The credits would be a rap, you know, and it would be like recapping the entire movie. Wild, Wild West, Men in Black, Men in Black 2. Or you could pull the inverse, how Mission Impossible does this, where in their opening credit sequence, you have like the cold open

and then you have the opening credit sequence, and it actually kind of like shows what's going to happen in the entire movie. That's a weird thing about Mission Impossible. It's one of my favorite franchises but it is admittedly a little bit bizarre how you kind of see what's going to happen in the entire movie if you're paying attention in the opening credit sequence. I think the original Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy did that as well. I'm almost certain at think the original Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy did that as well. I'm almost certain at least the original one did. I don't know if the other two did as well, but in the opening credits it like shows you

sequences, little clips from throughout the the you know two hours that are about to lapse. And obviously you don't have the full context, but it's kind of like it's just an interesting concept. It takes out a little element of surprise, if you will. Now there's still great movies, right? Sam Raimi, Spider-Man, Mission Impossible. So maybe these franchises are onto something. Maybe we need to do that with some of these,

I don't know, maybe Snow White. I haven't seen it yet, but maybe it should have had a opening credit sequence. It shows the magic mirror. It shows Gal Gadot. This clip's been going around Reddit this morning. I saw she sounds like Scooby Doo in one of the clips from Snow White, and I watched it and she does.

And it's just Gal Gadot is really getting shit on quite a bit right now. I didn't even mention that listener discretion is advised. So I will right now let you know that listener discretion is advised when you're listening to the Bean Town Podcast. Number one, we'll occasionally do some language. Number two, this podcast is objectively terrible. But yeah, let's move on. Let's get to our topics here.

Got a couple of things I wanted to write down. This actually goes back a ways, because the last time we recorded was like 12 days ago. So it's been a hot minute. Rachel and I were watching Temptation Island, which is a brand new show I didn't know anything about. It's like Love is Blind Island, and Bachelor in Paradise Island, and Love Island.

But this is about, you know, they bring couples who are already troubled, prematurely troubled couples in and then they split them up and, you know, all the hijinks ensue. But I think what would be more interesting, I got two ideas. One about Temptation Island, one about another one. We're getting into identity politics here. What if on Temptation Island, instead of it was, they bring in like four heterosexual couples and then they pair them with members of the opposite sex,

temptation, right? We need to start off with four LGBTQ couples We can do Maybe you do five right for experiment sake we can do two gay men couples two lesbian Couples and then one bi where it's like it's a man and a woman, but they could go either way and then one bi where it's like it's a man and a woman but they could go either way Right just so we have all of our control variables and then for the gay men you give them two straight ladies For the lesbians you give them two, you know, big old hunks Jason Momoa

Topher Grace, whatever and then for the bi couple. I don't even know how that would work. What do you give them? Two asexuals? Not sure, but that's the real temptation island. That's the challenge, right? It should be like, okay, you got the people who come in homosexual or bi, and it's like, can they stick to their guns? Or, you know, you put, I don't know, who's a famous lesbian out there? You put, I was going to say, Frances McDormand. I don't think she is, though. I have no idea.

Why can't, on the spot, I can't think of a lesbian. Beantown hates women, I'll tell you that much. Megan Fox, no, she's dating Travis Parker, I think. She just had a kid. Or is that one of the Kardashians? He's like a drummer for Blink 182, I think she just had a kid or is that one of the care of Kardashians He's like a drummer for Blink 182 I think I'm not sure Any famous? Lesbians you can think of maple Emma Stone. I don't think she's a lesbian

Jamie Lee Curtis is married to Christopher Guest The first time ever in eight seasons of the Beantown podcast, I'm speechless. Famous. Kristen Stewart, she's a lesbian, right? Imagine you throw Kristen Stewart. Okay, I googled the list. Portia de Rosie, Wanda Sykes, Ellen, Rosie, Cynthia Nixon for all my sex and the city heads, Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster is like who I was in the back of my mind trying to come up with when I said Francis McDormand.

I knew it wasn't right. Kate McKinnon, Jane Lynch, there you go. Billy Jean King, Kristen Stewart, all right, confirmed. You throw Kristen Stewart on Temptation Island, she comes with, I don't know know Rosie O'Donnell and then you split them up you give you give Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner and you give Rosie O'Donnell Jason Momoa and you know it's like ooh that you know that that thing in that thing in between his pants right that anaconda don't want but none unless you got buns right and then you can put Billy Billie Eilish no who's the who's the guy who does Billy on the street Billy something Billy Billy eyelash maybe I'm not sure what his name is Billy Corgan no you give him you know you give him a Wanda Sykes.

Oh, that doesn't really work, does it? We need a straight woman. Give him Charlize Theron. Ooh, I'd watch that show. So that's my first idea. That's Temptation Island LGBTQ Plus edition. Then the actual first idea I had, and I meant to say this first,

but I am just getting around to it now, Amazing Race, right? I think it's still going on. It's been like 40 seasons on CBS But you feel like okay you can explore all these new destinations, but it's still earth, you know, we've seen this We've seen that it's nothing that crazy interesting So, excuse me. What if we take amazing Race and we get even more literal with it? This should be, every season of Amazing Race you should have 10 couples, 8 couples, 20, whatever you want to do. Each one needs to be a different race, slash ethnicity. And we can see who the best race is

Okay, so you got You know the white couple does really well up in Canada, but they struggle in the jungles of Vietnam You get the I don't know the couple from Burkina Faso knows its way around whatever's in Burkina Faso, but they struggle in Russia perhaps, and so on, so forth. And we eliminate one race at a time, and then we can crown the ultimate race. Hitler would have loved this.

If Hitler came up with this idea, he would have had his finger on the scales, tipping them for the Aryans. So, you know, you probably could have bet a lot of money on the Aryans out, you know, at the start of the season and one big if you were in with Hitler. But alas, eighty, seventy-five, eighty years later here, he's gone and we don't miss him. Okay. it's my official stance on the bean town podcast. We don't miss them Put that in your quote book, but that's my idea for two new, you know network television getting stale temptation island we try to convert them and

Amazing race we see which race is best. I think it you know shock and awe that's what you need that's what these network executives need to keep up with, you know, streaming and everyone's talking about severance and white lotus. Tell you what, you get, you get, you know, Rosie O'Donnell getting just absolutely dicked down by, I don't know know Jason Momoa or the kid from Top Gun Maverick Whatever his name is the guy that Sidney Sweeney is probably gonna marry now Dude, I watch that I will watch that Speaking of which public service announcement sounds like Sidney Sweeney is officially on On the the market so guys if you're out there in LA

or wherever she lives I don't know you know brush up on your tinder profiles because she's definitely you know it's open season for the SS boobs I guess if she was a ship that would be her her SS Boobs for Sydney Sweeney boobs. Let's say thank you to our sponsor here, our sponsors, before we get over to Maples Minute. Starting with Home Pride Oregon, guys, are you tired of selling your house for less than one quarter of what it's worth, all because you couldn't find a reliable

home inspector in time? Well, Oregon listeners, I got good news for you. Home Pride Inspection Services in Bend, Oregon is Central Oregon's hottest new home inspection provider with services including roofing, heating, plumbing, HVAC services. I don't know. Earthquake prevention. Our thoughts and prayers are with all the Prevention our thoughts and prayers are with all the man man means out there me and me and Morris Saw some great footage not great, but of a like a rooftop Hotel pool gets lost around and the floaties went over the edge And I think everyone was safe in that particular video, but you wonder if someone got bonked on the head by the floaties 30 30 flights down. Who knows? Who knows? A whole pride organ inspection perfection.

You're going to want to call 541-410-0316 as for Steve tell him quince and show. Of course, our good friends at the Samson Q2U series, giving you that crisp, clear audio quality that you pine for, that's right, pine, P-I-N-E, you could pine, you could yearn, whatever. Go with the experts over at Samson, God speaks, he uses a Samson. Drinking some nice crisp ice water here today. Four weeks until the wedding.

Four weeks until I can get back on the mend and do a podcast all liquored up. I didn't even finish my thought. I got sidetracked on Chips Ahoy and Rapunzel. The bar cart is full. We've got, gosh, we got two different handles of open vodka. A spedka and a Skoll. What's going on? I think, not sure.

Smirnoff, Smirnoff and Svedka. We got a little bit of Cosmigos tequila from a bachelor party in Nashville 10 months ago. We've got whiskey from Nevada, which is from Christmas 2023, unopened, aged. We've got Woodford Reserve unopened. We've got another whiskey from this Christmas. I don't recall if it's whiskey, bourbon, scotch, rye,

not sure, from my father-in-law. We've got cognac I got for my birthday, Kirkland Cognac. We got some Fireball, and we got a decanter set. If there's any bar heads out there, go ahead and let us know what is decanting do. Cause right now I got just like a big old glass bottle with nothing in it. Which of those alcohols I just mentioned should I decant?

That's a question for the listeners. And then, oh, we got some gin over there too. That one's pretty old. I don't even recall where that came from. Where the heck did that gin? It's been there for like two years. And then I got a bartender set as well. The extent of my mixology knowledge is basically throw some whiskey in a glass and a splash

of Diet Coke and it'll be pretty good So now I got the shaker and the tumbler and the tops and the stirring spoons And that cool thing with like the coils. I don't remember what that does. I think it's for pouring. I Don't know but it's gonna be delicious and we got like eight bottles of champagne down there, too So thank you to everyone who's contributed. Four weeks from right now is my wedding and I have been on the diet path. I wouldn't say it's a war path. I'm still eating like, I just slammed some toast before we started recording after my 10K this morning. So not shying away from the carbs, but I'm cutting out alcohol. I've only had, gosh, a couple of glasses of wine

at our bridal shower, two drinks, one beer, one whiskey for my father-in-law's birthday, and then like five or six drinks on St. Patrick's Day. Otherwise, I've been been ice cold So the bar carts filling up In case you were you know, if you're listening to this you're at the liquor store getting ready to ship me something We still got a little bit of room on the bottom, but it's getting tight I got to start drinking and then of course our good friends at cuts by Q just did a nice little shave by Q last night Back of the neck front of the neck First, our good friends at Cuts by Q just did a nice little shave by Q last night.

Back of the neck, front of the neck, little nipple trim. Although I paid for it this morning. When you let the nipple hair grow out a little bit more, it can help you with chafing on those long runs. So you don't have to do the band-aids, the little circular guys. But I wristed this morning and there was, I was around mile six or so starting to get some rubbish R-U-B-B-A-G-E which is what British call trash but that's for me that's my nipples when I'm running and it's sweaty outside but cuts by Q when you need a fresh do something snappy or new

call the experts at cuts by Q all right just a quick little thing here, then we're gonna get to our topic of the day, 22 minutes in, but it's gonna be quick. This is Maples Minute. Maples very plugged in when we're watching TV, she likes the drug commercials, but here's Maples comment, and actually I think I saw something, I don't know if it was this week or the week before,

RFK talking about wanting to ban prescription drug commercials which I'm actually all for gosh my voice was starting to get gravely there I unintentionally started to sound like RFK jr. I'm all for banning all commercials of all sorts because I can't afford them for the Beantown podcast you know I can't get them for the Beantown podcast. I can't get a Super Bowl spot or anything, so why should anyone else? But if anyone out there is, if there's any billionaires out there, like if Jeff Bezos stumbles upon this, it'd be really cool if you floated me $8 million

just to run a Super Bowl spot. I think that'd be pretty fun. I'll put it together, I'll shoot it, I'll edit it, all that stuff. You know, we're a high tech production over here. Email me, bintanpac.yahoo.com, yahoo.com. Maple's Minute, though, we were watching an eczema commercial for the drug epglyce, E-P-G-L-I-S. And you know, we're all familiar with the cadence of these commercials.

At first, people are having a bad time, and then they take the drug, and they're having a really good time, and they get their life back. One person's walking the dog, another one is, their kids are running around, and they're clapping. And then a third guy is maybe like, I don't know, on a bike trip with his friends or or something But this is actually not part of that. There's always you know at the the last 10 seconds it's the quick voiceover and But you also see the text on the bottom and they always make it the same color as the text colors the same as the background Color so it's almost impossible to read these drug companies are very sneaky I noticed something that I thought, and Maple

pointed this out to me, this is why it's Maple's Minute, that I thought was highly interesting and really makes you question what you're seeing when you see these drug advertisements. And I think, you know, we all have questions inherently about just the concept of prescription drugs advertising, but what was fascinating about Epglyphs, excuse me, they come out and say in their tiny little font, as the ladies playing fetch with their golden retriever and the gay guys are on their bike trip and the old couple is, you know, they're slow dancing, Epg Epgles comes out in the bottom and the tiny little font and says only worked on four out of ten in the trial Four out of ten that's our success rate and now we're running Eight million dollars Super Bowl spots for Epgles because we got four out of ten

people's eczema improved by taking Epglyphs because we got four out of ten people's eczema improved by taking Epglyphs. That is... you can't run a commercial on four out of ten. That's like, you know, the people who go into the experimental cancer drug trials. That's like a four out of ten success rate, I think. Epglyphs, you're running an eczema drug that's only 40% successful and you're advertising it and that old black couple was that Happy when they were slow dancing. Uh-uh Maple was all over it. So that's maples minute today. Thank you maple for pointing out You guys you gotta watch the fine print so next time you see your nexium commercial or Trump fire

Or even and I've been a big sky-raising stand for years see if they publish their percentages in their drug trials because if Epglyphs is only four out of ten who knows what else Devlin McGregor is running out there Harrison Ford was all over this thirty years ago. They switched the samples. Okay. Seems like nothing has changed. So Bobby Jr., if you're out there listening, first, if you want to donate money, you or Cheryl for the Super Bowl spot, that'd be great. Think of it for every Bean Town podcast ad that runs as one fewer EPCOS commercials or Trumpfaya or Lipitor. I haven't seen a lot about Lipitor lately. It used to be a big thing. Not as much anymore. I will still take the Cialis commercials because sometimes you get a little bit of skin

and it's a little bit, you know, sexy. But, you know, RFK's got to do something about this. Epgles cannot be out there running their mouth on a 40% record. something about this. Epgles cannot be out there running their mouth on a 40% record. 400 is a good batting average in baseball, but Epgles isn't swinging at 99 mile per hour heat from a Roldis Chapman. Okay, that's the end of Maple's Minute. Our topic today, which we'll go through briefly here, we've done this this last at least one or two years so I figured let's bring it back opening day in baseball was well technically it was already like ten days ago in Tokyo it was stupid they had the Cubs go all the way out to Tokyo to play that you know the Dodgers were just like the Monstars no salary cap in baseball so they can

just pay everyone hundreds of millions of dollars it's absurd so the Cubs go out there they lose both games are at four in the morning it's it's absurd so we get like more traditional opening day this past Thursday and that means new ballpark foods so I didn't vet this article at all but it is from ESPN and I just grabbed the URL and said let's go through some of these ballpark foods. I haven't read this article. And I haven't, other than I saw one thing on Twitter, I think it's real.

It was, in fact, let's do a quick Google search. Well, I have my phone in front of me. This was not for a major league team. This was the St. Paul Saints. And it was a jumbo hot dog. I saw this on Twitter. Let's see if it's real. St. Paul Saint's hot dog. Yep, a six-foot hot dog for the 2025 season. Let's see what Care11 has to say about this.

It's topped with smoked pulled pork, mac and cheese, french fries, jalapenos, and bacon. mac and cheese, french fries, jalapenos, and bacon. And this again is up in St. Paul. And let's see if there's any information on pricing. The dog also comes, stupid ads. Oh, that was almost a Trump fire ad. I closed out of it. Let's see. The saints unveiled the land of 10,000 calories.

That's what it's called though. That's pretty good. That's pretty good I mean presumably you got to order this ahead. Let's keep reading a new six foot long hot dog That's topped with small smold Pucked pork smoked pulled pork mac and cheese french fries jalapenos and bacon The dog also comes with a side of fries and four 20 ounce drinks So it's topped with french fries, but it also comes with a side of fries. That's good If you want to you got to Google this and see the picture of this 20

6-foot hot dog. That's almost as tall as me nothing about price but considering The size of this thing and just the amount that's on it. Like this has got to be something that you order ahead there's no way you can just like walk up to a concession stand at a minor league baseball stadium and say, you know what, give me the land of 10,000 calories and they can just whip that together. I mean, what do you even do about the hot dog?

It's got to be like a human centipede situation. And I don't, I don't know. You see baguettes sometimes that are long and skinny, but I think those are at most like 18 inches. So you got to add another four and a half feet to get bread that size. I don't know. If it's just a publicity stunt, it worked because we're talking about it. But here we go from ESPN.com. Here's some other new ballpark foods for the 2025 season. Starting with the San Diego Padres banana pudding helmets equipped with vanilla wafers, candied nuts and banana slices. This would be more interesting if they had the prices

next to them because I went to Petco Park for a game back in when was that I think it was it was two or three years ago I think it was two years ago maybe and the like you know we were all aware of how bad stadium price have gone these days but San Diego is an expensive place in and of itself and so the ballpark I think they'll like tallboard beers You know, they're what is it 16 or 20 ounces? I can't recall For like the Bud lights the cheap ones, I think we're $16 which Wrigley's not that far off now but now it's you know, two or three years later with the tariffs and the aluminum cans from Canada and I mean the beers out there got to be at least like 18 or 19

bucks now and then they turn their iPads around and the tip percentages are 25 35 or just a hundred percent or custom I've been doing that I've been going to a coffee shop ever since low spend January ended ritual over here in Irving Park I go you go once every other week or so. And I get my little cold brew and it'll be like four bucks or something. And then yeah, they turn the tip thing around and it's like 20, 25 or 30. And I always do the custom and I throw them 50 cents.

I'm like, here's two quarters or a Kennedy half dollar. But I'm not giving you the full, because 15% or 20%, whatever, is like an extra dollar total. I'm like, it took you two seconds to open up the spigot from the cold brew thing and fill up my cup. My cup runneth over. So yeah, I'm over the tipping thing. But yeah, the banana pudding, oh, this is, MLB Twitter account says it is banana

bread pudding helmets. Yes, they gotta get their story straight. ESBN says banana pudding helmets. MLB Twitter says banana bread pudding helmets. Yeah, it's like pudding and then four bananas on top and some wafers and candy nuts. And there you go. I don't know the whole lot.

I'm not opposed to banana pudding, but it's just, it wouldn't be my go-to, especially if you're paying, presumably this would be at least $15. It's really the candy nuts that get. The Texas Rangers down in Arlington, they have a Boomstick Burrito. It's a 24-inch burrito. It's made with a 26-inch tortilla, so they're skimping somewhere, filled with rice, beans, seasoned taco meat, nacho cheese, pico de gallo, G-A-L-L-O.

There used to be a baseball player, Joey Gallo, pico de Joey Gallo. Apparently, he's trying to be a pitcher now. He used to be like a power hitter For the Astros, I think so. He just missed the boat. They could have had Pico to gallo night lettuce and sour cream Yeah, and it's it's pretty big this burrito is so big. It looks like in Jira I and J Eera I don't know how you spell in Jira it's Ethiopian the New York Yankees hardware to say Yankees New York Yankees have Patroni Tiramisu

I have no idea what Patroni is from Twitter the explanation the Yankees will have tiramisu helmets at games this year made with espresso Marsca mascarpone It's not marzipan. It's mascarpone, which I don't know what that is But I've heard of it in like kitchen nightmares and Hell's Kitchen and stuff Mascarpone it's different than mascara, but same Latin root ladyfinger cookies and cocoa powder the whole cocoa powder thing, not worth it. It reminds me of the cinnamon challenge, which some of you are too young for,

but you take a spoonful of cinnamon and try to swallow it. That's the problem with this cocoa powder. You get into this top layer here. This whole thing is, it's, it's not just dusted with cocoa powder. it's absolutely covered. And so you take a scoop, you take a big bite, but upon inhale, all of a sudden you're coughing up a lung. It's like when Michael Scott pulls the Pam's tiramisu out of the garbage and then he calls David Wallace, it's a great scene and he keeps choking on the dusting on top.

And he's trying to talk to David Wallace. That that's what I know that's gonna happen to me because I get so excited about the mascarpone the cocoa powder is gonna kick you in the lungs before you even get to enjoy it so I don't Yankees might need to go back to the drawing board up there in the Bronx the Chicago White Sox have a celebration cake shake they are no strangers to funky shakes it's made with birthday cake The Chicago White Sox have a Celebration Cake Shake. They are no strangers to funky shakes. It's made with birthday cake ice cream, which is basically, if you don't know what that is, it's basically ice cream with more sugar in it.

Confetti cake, which if you don't know is essentially cake with more sugar in it and food dye. A pinwheel cookie, which is kind of cool because that's the, you know, the decoration of their stadium and a maraschino cherry, which a separate topic, but one of the worst foods of all time, maraschino cherry. It's like, what if we took cherries and we dunked them in sugar water for two weeks and then ate them? It's I've never maraschino cherries. I've never, maraschino cherries have never done it for me. Used to, as a kid, I would like actively hate them. Now I'm just like, I don't get the point of this. But just too much, too sugary. It's like a ball of syrup.

The Seattle Mariners have a What Up corn dog. It is a corn dog, but instead of the normal color of a corn dog, it is green. It looks like the, well, it's the color of the Mariners and it looks like the Ivy at Wrigley Field. It's a blue honey-battered corn dog with a spicy crunch served with nacho cheese. I guess it's blue just because they're the Mariners? Unclear. There's no, the picture doesn't show the spicy nacho cheese, so that could make or break it. The Philadelphia

Phillies have a s'mores quesadilla. It includes Nutella, mini marshmallows, and graham cracker crumble in a flour tortilla served with a chocolate dipping sauce. So it's basically a tortilla filled with sugar, topped with sugar, dipped into sugar. I feel like RFK here, bashing on all these foods. Maybe Bobby and I need to start a podcast. I don't know. We can talk about the eczema drugs. That'd be our first episode. New York Yankees again, back to the Petroni. What the hell's Petroni? If you're going to use these non-english words, you got to explain it Petroni Mr. Softie Sunday, that's SOF TEE Mr. Softie Sunday

It features vanilla ice cream hazelnut hot fudge cannoli praline crunch and vanilla panna what the hell is panna p a n na I Feel like I'm I feel like ESPN put my article in Finnish or something. Panna, Petroni, Mascarpone. What the heck's going on here? How long is this article? We should have paced ourselves. Oh, it's not so bad. We're like halfway. Let's see here. Okay, we just did the the Petroni softy Sunday the Pittsburgh Pirates have a San Francisco Oh, they both have this it's gonna say pirates and Giants have a popcorn bat which is exactly what it sounds like it's a it's a plastic bat and the barrel is hollow and Transparent and filled with popcorn. I

Hate you know, the Cubs do this. They've got the like beer bats. They're like 30 bucks. It's absurd Any sort of you know extra plastic? Where you finish eating and now you're like I got this piece of junk. What do I do now? I? Hate that it's not sustainable. You got to lug it around you got little kids. They're like oh, let's take it home You know what am I supposed to do with this? Fill it with panna? I don't know. I could, but I'd never seen panna at Trader Joe's before.

I've seen penne. Maybe that's what they meant. The opposite of this is the bread bowl, right? I would love if a baseball stadium served bread bowls, maybe a partnership with Panera, whatever you want to do. But instead of you finish your meal and you got a big hunk of plastic, what if you finish your meal and nothing? You just ate it. That's peak efficiency. That's what I want. Someone's got to introduce a bread bowl next season. Kansas City Royals have a slugger dog that's three R's S-L-U-G-G-E-R-R-R dog.

That sounds like a pirate. It includes chorizo topped with manchego, tempura butter, Doritos Cool Ranch crust, and avocado aioli. I didn't know Kansas City had that type of culinary game. Apparently they do. It's got to cost more than a ticket to a Royals game. The Colorado Rockies have dessert nachos, which is like exactly what you would imagine. Fried flour tortillas tossed in cinnamon sugar, fresh berries topped with powdered sugar and caramel drizzle served with a side of whipped cream. So it's like a sweet tortilla basically. The Mets have the Fiesta Burger. I never once in my life, this is not specific to the Fiesta Burger,

but burgers more broadly. Never once in my life have I been at a ballpark and be like, you know what I really want right now is a burger. Give me a hot dog, okay, I'll do it. A beer sounds good. Maybe nachos. I've never bought nachos at a baseball game, but I would have it. But a burger, I'm not opposed to it, but it's just, I don't know. Never thought of the burger at the ballpark. But if you're curious, the Fiesta burger is only available in April and

May. So guys, if you were planning that trip out to Queens Bump it up and includes a taco spiced burger patty topped with chipotle crema Which is just a fancy way of saying cream Mexican cheese blend and spicy guacamole among other items among other items You can't introduce a new ballpark food and just use the etc It's like oh, this is the new This is the new tasty burger from bee town. It's got all 100% natural wagyu beef tomato slice and a lot of other things

Guys I I can't endorse this one if you were planning your if your your trip to you know Astoria was scheduled for June and you're gonna miss the Fiesta Burger you might want to keep it if you got a good price on a hotel or there's that neighborhood in is it Brooklyn or Queens I don't remember I was watching how to a John Wilson a couple months ago they shot an episode there where it's like below sea level is and and it's just weird. I got to look up what that was That was a strange strange experience the Los Angeles Dodgers have something called the slugger The ESPN really gave up with their

with their like Descriptions here because for the slugger it just says it's got the image which is like a hot dog with crema and corn But the description just says the slugger will be a new item at Dodger Stadium this season gotcha great We went from full descriptions to it's got this and other items and then it's a new item They're they're running out of Chat GPT subscription, I guess no the slugger is basically one of those hot dogs

That is twice as long as the bun that holds it which I hate the concept of You know what the st. Paul Saints knew what they were doing they give you a six foot long hot dog They're giving you a six foot bun. They're not giving you a three foot bun It's not one meter bun and six foot hot dog It needs to be a one to one ratio or close. Chicago Cubs have a Heberito sandwich. It includes roast beef, garlic butter, lettuce, tomato and garlic aioli tucked between two smashed and fried plantains. You know what? I'm biased here because I'm a Cubs fan, but hats off to the Cubs because that's creative. You know, half of these items are just like,

let's put ice cream in a cup and give it a new flavor, or let's have a hot dog that's twice as long as the bun it's in. The Heberrito sandwich has plantains, roast beef, garlic butter, that's pretty cool. Looks pretty tasty. And you're saving on the carbs. The Arizona Diamondbacks have a chicken parm sub and filthy mac fries

so if you ever found yourself in the 110 degree heat of Phoenix and Thought you know what would really? refresh me chicken parm with a lot of bread and filthy mac fries which there's no, no mention of. I can confirm that the chicken parm sub has homemade tomato sauce, provolone, pesto and Parmesan. But sorry guys,

if you were looking for clarity on what goes into the filthy Mac fries, I got nothing for you. Oh no, they're down here. My apologies. Cajun style, crinkle cut fries, smothered in white cheddar Mac, cheddar cheese, pork belly, bacon and cola, cheddar cheese, pork belly bacon and cola, BBQ sauce among other items. Again with the among other items. Lazy. And also, yes, I said cola BBQ sauce.

No idea. In my mind, there's, excuse me, Kansas City barbecue, there's Memphis barbecue, North Carolina barbecue, Texas barbecue. I haven't heard about Coca-Cola running out barbecue We got two more here the Washington Nationals Jake and Jake's smoked brisket sandwich and the image they used is Largely just a bun and pickled red onions. So I'm gonna pass on the Nationals smoked brisket sandwich The brisket sandwich.

The brisket sandwich was selected by Nationals pitcher Jake Irvin and center fielder Jacob Young. If you're curious what's on the burger, there's no description of that, but it looks like an onion bun, a lot of red onions, pickles, coleslaw, pulled pork. So good job, Jake and Jake. And finally the Kansas City Royals rounding us out with a Z-Man sandwich. In collaboration with Joe's Kansas City Barbecue the Royals will offer a new item this season the Z-Man sandwich and includes smoked smoked beef brisket and provolone cheese on a toasted Kaiser roll top with two onion rings. This is one of those sandwiches where they put way too much on it

and the bun can't contain it. My anaconda don't want none unless you got Bun's hun. So there you go. Email us, Bean Tom Podcasts, at yahoo.com. Tell us what sounds most appealing to you, what's a smash, and what's a pass. We got to finish up with our trivia question lot of chatter this week about Greenland and

And then you know spirit of government efficiency JD Vance took three days off the fly to Greenland and give a press conference about how It's critical to the u.s. Is interest that we take over Greenland It kind of sounds like US is about to invade Greenland, which is just pretty shitty. I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't really care about Greenland, but it got me thinking there's not a lot of people in Greenland. It's not very densely populated. And so I thought, Hey, let's, let's see what are the five least densely populated countries in the world. And I'm going to clarify when

I say countries, we're talking UN member states because number one is Greenland. And there's some other ones like Pitcairn and Falkland islands are two and three respectively. I think, I think Western Sahara is like five. Those are not UN member states. There's like 193 sovereign countries that are part of the UN. Because Greenland is a country right but it's administered by Denmark. It's a whole thing. So just give me the five regular countries, if you will, that are the least densely populated in the world. And if you want a little bit of time to think it over, you might want to pause. I will let you know as I'm just perusing this list.

I think I would have been able to get maybe two of these, but I'll say I think two of them are like pretty obvious from a size perspective, they feel maybe not obvious but two of them are like oh yeah that definitely makes sense. One is also larger but not something you think about very much and two are a little bit smaller which is not a lot of people there. I will let you know some of the if you're if you were thinking oh let's start really large from an area perspective and go from there. I will let you know some of the, if you're, if you were thinking, Oh, let's start really large from an area perspective and go from there. Canada and Russia are not on this list. They're both in the top 20. I think they're between like 15 and 20, but they got enough people to balance things out. So if you're curious how to approach this, you got one that's got a decent size population, but it's really big.

And then the others just have not very many people whatsoever. So in order from least densely populated to more densely populated but still not very much here are the five least densely populated UN member Number one, Mongolia. Number two, Australia. Number three, Namibia. Number four, Iceland. And number five, if anyone got this one, you got to email us and tout your abilities, because this would be absolutely insane, in my opinion,

to get this. It's so random. Number five is Suriname, down there in South America, former Dutch colony. So again, your list, Mongolia, Australia, Namibia, Iceland, and Suriname are the five least densely populated UN member states in the world. That's what I had for you guys today. Thank you for tuning into my program, Quinn David Furness Presents the Beantown Podcast.

We will come at you next week to kick off April with all new Beantown. We got some taxes coming up. Got to reach out to a friend of the show, Matthew Feather, to secure that. We got our horse special the month after. Getting married in four weeks. All positive things coming on the Bean Town podcast here. So without further ado, let's cue our outro music up, guys. My name is Quinn David Furnas.

This is my show. I hope everyone is staying safe. Stay sane sane I'll check in on you next time bye So many powers. Oh my god, we are dying so hard. This is so good. So So Thank you.