Beantown Podcast - 9th Annual Easter Special (04032026 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

Quinn comes to you LIVE to discuss the Tigger Movie, the 12th Disciple, and the Penitent Man

Hey, what's going on. It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown Podcast for Good Friday, April 3rd, 2026. What's going on? What's happening? How are you? My name is Quinn, and this is my program. Quinn David Furness presents. The Beantown podcast. I am the creator, the host, and the kissing bandit. That's what they call Judas. Kiss and tell. Is that the origin of it? of kiss and tell because it's more of like a sexy relations kind of thing but judas was kind of the o-g his kiss was his tell that's what the poker fans would say everyone's got to tell you know when judas kisses someone that means he's betraying the only begotten son of god what do you think begotting actually means b e g-o-t-t-t-e-n not a word you usually use in the day-to-day vernacular feel like be gotten it's a it's a Friday afternoon about 4 p.m. ish and 45 degrees just not quite enough for patio weather so we're just staying inside celebrating the blood of the lamb with a bush light a special edition bush light with a northern pike can design which I'm excited for

My friend Matt brought some over last weekend for watching basketball. I got a couple leftovers. We got that going. We're going to crack it open in a minute here, see if we can actually hear it say bush, like the commercials say. Free advertising, you're welcome. And we got an old-fashioned going. I got a bottle of old-fashioned mix, I think, for Christmas or something like that.

I think for my sister, I can't remember. And I thought when I got it, It was just like one of those pre-mixed cocktail kind of thing, so you get one or two out of it. But it's just like the little stuff you add on top of whiskey to make it an old-fashioned. I'm supposed to have an orange slice as well, but who's got time for that? So you just do a little dab almost each time in your shot in a half of whiskey or whatever. So this bottle of old-fashioned whatever is lasting for a long time because it's lasting for a long time. hard to work through. It's very sweet. Maybe it's contributing to my swollen ranula. You guys ever

got this? So these salivary glands that are on the bottom kind of into the side of your tongue. You can probably kind of while you're listening now, take the tip of your tongue and feel around on there and you got one on either side left and right. They're kind of, I don't know, kind of like pointy almost. Anyways, my one on my left side. Every time I've been eaten lately, It gets, you know, swollen because the salivary, the saliva is trying to come out of it. I got some sort of blockage there. And I don't know if, you know, I had some eye issues earlier this year. You're supposed to do a warm compress, C-O-M-P-R-E-S-S.

I don't know if you can do a warm compress with a ranula or whatever it's called. You're just going to be looking foolish with a rag sticking out of your mouth. I don't know. we'll see things to consider you know somewhere where they probably aren't celebrating good Friday right now not only because I don't think there's a ton of Christians

hanging out there but also it's already tomorrow today it's our good friends in Pakistan Lahore Karachi Hanoi we talked about last week thank you for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the Islamic

Republic of Pakistan It is Good Friday, always kind of a misleading name, I feel like. I guess it's the start of the events that lead to goodness, but the day itself feels like kind of a bummer. You go from pulling an all-nighter in the Garden of Gethsemini. Don't try to ask me to spell that. I think it's like, I don't know. It starts with a G-E-T-H, and we'll leave it there.

Here's my first sip of Bush, by the way. way. It's, I got to tell you, out of all the light beers you can have, your Bud Lights and your Miller lights and list goes on and on, it's pretty low on the list. And it reminds me, used to spend a handful of, a little bit of time, went a handful of times to Roadhouse 66, a Rigleyville barks. It was quite literally down the street from one of our apartments. And, And Bush Light was like their flagship light beer, if you will. I mean, that you could get all sorts of light beers there, including PBR, which is, I guess, like, qualifies, quantifies as a light beer, but it's more just like a traditional loggar, I think, or pale ale, one of those two. But PBR to me is a clear step up above the light beers.

Anyways. But Bushlight was like that special there, and it was. By far the cheapest thing on the menu, that bar got kind of expensive over the years. I think you'd get the craft beers getting up to like eight and a half bucks on game day and stuff. You're just like, do I really need to spend eight and a half bucks for a three one, two? When I could go to the jewel and get a six pack for $10, I know you're paying for the experience, right? The memories. Rachel and I had our engagement celebration party at that bar.

Pretty fun. two years ago is that right two years ago we got engaged i think so three years ago oh yeah because we're engaged for two years man time flies when you're having fun when you're with your lover just soaking up the sun almost our anniversary wow that's crazy what do we like three weeks away wow's a pretty exciting but yeah the bush light i just took a first sip and It's not great. But I have a commemorative coozy from a recent Bachelorette trip, which definitely adds plus one or two to the flavor, I would say.

I think they're really trying to get by on this whole collector's edition, this whole collector's edition specialty can with the northern pike on it. The problem is now that I have this, you know, it's a collector's edition can, but in even more collector's edition, Coozy, there's probably only 10 of these coosies out there in the world, and there's probably millions of collector's edition cans. I can't see the Northern Pike. And so I'm trying to, you know,

I'm trying to take a sip and imagine, you know, nice sitting on a nice canoe in the backwoods and a hot day in August, refreshing myself with a crisp sip of Bush Light, but all I'm getting is a Texas, you know, rodeo showdown on the coozy, which is fun in and of itself, but it's, I don't know, it's not quite the same bushlight vibe. I don't know.

We got our producer, Maple over here and Coho's Richie. When you were recently in Texas, is there like a go-to beer that they, it doesn't have to be a Texas beer, but just like, oh, when you're in Texas, everyone drinks this kind of beer. A lot of margaritas. That's what Dallas-Fort Worth supposedly is known for. We'll have to get some more feedback on that. If you're listening to Texas, I know we got at least one. dedicated passionate listener who's

year after year a member of our Topaz elite club Aaron if you're listening and there's like this is the go-to Texas beer whether it's brewed there or maybe it's just like everyone in Texas loves I don't know

sacred cow that's not what it's called nuclear spotted cow that's what it is you know something random like that email the show you know how to get in touch with us Beantown Podcasts at yahoo.com again that's Beantown Beantown and podcast at yahoo.com and let us know well it's another easter it's always an exciting time here on the bean

town podcast i love uh you know there's different angles you take every year sometimes i really lean into passover sometimes i lean into the well old testament that is passover but the you know the whole exodus story which is really Passover but just expanded other years i lean more into the New Testament and the Gospels. I had some Instagram, create your own stories today. Had some reflections about Jesus and the apostles loitering in the Garden of Gethsemini.

Talk about original sin. A lot of people think it's steel in the apple. I think it's probably loitering in the Garden of Gethsemini. Kind of a hard word to say, Geththemone. It kind of gets stuck in your tongue, especially when you got the swollen Ranula.

It just, there are certain words, like Gathemone and Nebuchadnezzar that makes it tougher to say when you got a little kind of bulbous cyst or something, if you go, down there. It's not even, it's not a cyst, it's just a swollen gland. I don't know, maybe we should have tried to do the whole show with a warm compress down there. That'd be extra challenging. One of these days, God forbid, there's going to be some sort of injury or accident, hopefully not for another 50 years, you know, when we're in season 59 of the show or something,

where I need to rest my voice, or maybe I had a tracheotomy, maybe I was an extra on season 51 of the pit or something, and, you know, I get caught up in production. I can't record for a week. We're going to have to use some sort of AI bot. To record from here, I'm going to have to type out an episode, and someone is going to have to just read off the script or better yet. I'll just have my lovely wife, lead host, the show.

I know she's been kind of sitting over there in that, number two chair for, excuse me, six, seven years at this point trying to get her hands on this mic. And, you know, it's a seat and a mic that comes with a lot of responsibility. I'll just, let's just kind of put that out there. I think a lot of people think they could just step in and host the Beantown podcast, but you got, oh my gosh, you got the ad reads, the preparation. Animal of the week, you can't just sit there, let's be square. You can't just sit there five minutes before Showtime and say, hmm, this will be the animal.

Louis can write it down and just pretend like the whole show is going to be hunky dory. It's not that simple. Never saw Finding Dory. You see Finding Dory? We know what the plot was? Is it basically like an inverse

where Dory's trying to like get in touch with her heritage? Trying to find where she came from. I think that was basically what the Tigger movie was about, wasn't it? Back in, what do we think the Tigger movie was? 2001.

I don't know if I ever saw the Tigger movie. Maple and I watched Winnie the Pooh in the Blustery Day. Last weekend, the weekend before, I can't remember. It gets kind of trippy at the end there with the heflumps, and they're like floating in space, and there's color changes and all sorts of stuff. We lost our co-host. She went into the other room.

At least I got Maple. Well, we mentioned Animal of the Week, so we might as well get it out of the way, and you can see the intense preparation I put in for it, and then maybe we'll check back in on the disciples and the apostles and see what's happening over, you know, 2,000, 26 years ago or whatever in Jerusalem checking on sort of the cross progress, the crucifixion, Passion of the Christ, which I've never seen. We've talked about the Passion of the Christ sequel a couple of times.

I think it's still on track for 2027. And I'm fascinated. I guess Jesus is coming back. Who's going to play Doubting Thomas? That feels like an Oscar Bait role, right? Our Animal of the Week, it is Easter, and a lot of people think, oh, Animal of the Week, that should be the Easter bunny. No, try the hair. At first I was like, let's make it the Jack Rabbit. Great Elton John song off of Goodbye Yellowpick Road, Jack Rabbit. It's like two and a half minutes. It's kind of a little country twang, early Elton John, Golden Pipe's voice. Oh, Jack Rabbit, do, do, do, do. There's got to be a banjo in there. Oh, Jack Rabbit, Rounding to the Woods. Good harmony. That's our Elton John's single of the week.

I don't think it was a single. Our Elton John's Song of the Week, Jack Rabbit. I'm pretty sure it's off Good by Yellow Brick Road. The actual album, I don't know if it was released like this. Elton John had, I should know this. But if you listen, like you go listen to the entire Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album, it's like 20 songs or something like that. It's crazy. I'm sure what I'm getting into, there's some, like, deluxe editions and, you know, remastered in 1991 and an extraversional candle in the wind and stuff.

But, yeah, I mean, that's a hefty album. There's a lot of songs on there. And it starts off with a total banger. Not only is it long in terms of length of songs with the opening track, Funeral for a Friend slash Love Lies Bleeding is like 11 minutes long. It's a lot. you guys ever see that movie love lies bleeding from like two or three years ago with Kristen Stewart and the other lady she's like a like a she like an MMA fighter or just like a wrestler or something but she's super jacked I can't remember what her name was but they play like lesbian lovers in the 80s and it gets really trippy and I don't even really remember the

plot of the movie we watched it only like a year ago probably love lies bleeding with Kristen Stewart kind of a kind of a trip It gets really kind of fantastical towards the end. It's kind of like, you know how it's sorry to bother you? The first act and a half or so of the movie is like, you know, a weird premise, but like believable and pretty normal and no crazy stuff happens. And then they go to Army Hammer's house and everyone turns into horses. And it's kind of like, all right, what just happened here?

It's kind of like when Pinocchio goes to Pleasure Island and all the little boys turn into donkeys. They turn into donkeys. Why? Because they like run away from home because they don't want to do their chores. And so they get sent to Pleasure Island and because they're having a good time playing pool smoking cigars, that means they get turned into donkeys. What kind of operation is that? Someone's got to shut that down. We should be allowed to have some pleasure. And if we want to have it on an island, that's just fine. Our animal of the week is the hair. Originally was going to be Jackrabbit and then it was like Jack rabbits are a hair or a member of the hair. subspecies or whatever.

And I was like, oh, let's look into this a little bit more. So I'm thinking, okay, so you got your hairs. Everyone's kind of aware of like the wild hair, and they kind of got the big old legs or the feet and a long floppy ears. And it's like they're not your typical bunny rabbit. You see hopping around the garden nibbling on your basal. But then I was like, our rabbits and hair is the same thing. You know, they're separate, like, species.

Obviously they go up. They got the same kingdom phylum order and whatever. that stuff class but i think once you get down into the genuses they're a little bit different and so yeah these hairs they're all encompassing i mean they they got excuse me jack rabbits and jackalopes and long hair eastern hairs and that's just kind of fun you don't you know people talk about rabbits and bunnies and the easter bunny and bugs bunny who definitely looks more like a hair than a bunny but you know bunnies get all the Lola Rabbit, you know, even the sex symbols. They get all the attention in modern media.

No one's ever talking about the hairs. I think just taking a step back in the name itself, the word hair, it's like, yeah, we're familiar with it, but no one's ever out there saying, like, my favorite animal is the hair. I think they're so cool. They're just like living in the wild. You can't tame them, try to domesticate them. Who's human animal? Try to domesticate you.

I got you blurred lines. I know you want it. Oh, no you want it. Remember that whole thing when blurred lines came out? And at first it was just the music video and it's got what's her name, the actress or the model who was in like Gone Girl, Emily Radikowski, I think, and then two other models who I don't know anything about. But like it's Robin Thick and T.I. and Frell Williams dancing around

and the girls are all in like, like, bikinis, basically, like underwear. And it's like, oh, my gosh, that's kind of, you know, it's kind of an off-putting song to a certain extent. And then it's just like a very, like, objectifying women kind of music video. And then, like, the uncut version comes out and they're just like, well, they still got underwear on, but they're totally topless. And you can still just, this is such a weird, like, blurring of lines. Maybe Robin Thick was actually a genius. Who knows? Wasn't he married to Paula Patton, but now he's not? The lady for Mission Impossible Four, who I thought was going to be like a big star for a hot second and then she wasn't.

But it's like you can go on YouTube and YouTube is supposed to like draw a firm line of like, you can't go on YouTube and watch porn. You know, you see how this relates to the animal of the week the hair, don't you? It's a clear connection. But it's like you can go watch Emily Radikowski and these two other ladies dance around Toplis. Not like blurred. or anything, just like full-on, boom, this is what they look like. And look, I don't have a strong stance one way or another. I'm of the particular mindset that we should just go, you know, let's take the kind of stigma out of like nudity and swear words and let's just have a society, a free wheel in society.

Every beach should be a nude beach. That's what I say. And if you want to participate, cool. If not, that's fine. Everyone's just got to be chill, right? You got to be chill about it, low-key. but it's like you can't it's like so what counts as you know your music video for your number one single song summer of what 2013 was that and then what counts as like oh this is this is pornographic

you can't put this on there it's interesting there are certain videos where it's like yeah if you want to see topless ladies on youtube you just got to know the famous music videos to search for. I've often thought about like how we decide collectively as a society or I guess in this, in this case, YouTube decides like, this counts as art. That's okay. This does not. Blurred lines. That's what that's what it's all coming back to. But that's our animal of the week, the hair. I think there's probably a Bugs Bunny episode title, Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow. They pretty much found every single naming convention pun with rabbit or hair or bunny that you could insert into a title doesn't you have to be a pun sometimes it's just what it was like wikiki rabbit

or wickie wabit i don't know if it's a r or w but that's the classic one where he goes to the desert the desert island the two castaways and they find bugs bunny there in anyways this week on the bean town podcast quinn recounts recants recants recants recants recants I think recants is when you like take something back, recounces when you retell something. We could just use the word retell. That makes a lot of sense. This week on the Beantown podcast, Quinn retells the plot of the 1947 Mary Melody's classic Waikiki Rabbit. We can look it up.

We'll do a little year guessing game. I guess we've already done some years with like the Tigger movie and Robin Thick. So let's run through it. Okay, here's a little mid-episode truce. trivia game for you. It's a, it's a three-item parlay. Take your best guesses. We'll just, I'll look them up, I'll Google them, I haven't Googled them, and we'll see how close we can get. Number one item, I'll give you all three items. Number one item, the Tigger movie. Number two, Robin Thick's blurred lines, and number three, the Bugs Bunny classic Waikiki Rabbit. So take your guesses. I will

I will guess alongside you. I mean, I already put out three guesses for each one, but let me recall what I said. So the Tigger movie, I'm guessing 2001. Blurred lines, this one I actually feel relatively confident about, 2013, because it was like a single summer. Or it was like the single of the summer, you know, every third song on the radio is that.

And I remember listening to that song all the time on the bus ride to detassling my last year working when I was a crew leader. I had an entire bus that I managed, which is wild in retrospect for an 18-year-old. But I remember, blurred lines kept coming on the radio. And I think it was, I think it had been released that year. So I feel pretty good.

And then the last one with Waikiki Rabbit, this one I feel like I don't have a great frame of reference for. I mean, it's like a relatively old-school cartoon, but it wasn't in black and white. That thing's got some color. I originally said 1947. I feel like it might be, I don't know if it's in color a little bit later, don't you think?

Like late 50s, something like that? I'll say Waikiki Rabbit, 1957. I'll move it back 10 years. So let's go one at a time. I love a little impromptu trivia guessing game here. Okay, so we missed Tigger movie by one year. 2000 was the Tigger movie. Okay, so we're kind of O for one, but I don't feel too bad about it.

Blurred lines, nailed it 2013, song by Pharrell Williams, Robin Thick, and Ti. And then finally, Waikiki Rabbit. It is Wabbit with a W. Nineteen, 43, oh, I went the wrong way. You know, good on the animation studio for having the color ready to go that early. I would have thought, and I did think you heard in real time, like, color in 1947, I'm thinking like FDR, I'm thinking black and white. But, you know, good for them. Right in the smack dab in the middle of the World War II.

They said, you know what the troops need? They need a little Waikiki Wabbit pick me up. Excuse me. Mary Melodies, Looney Tunes, Warner Brothers, all that fun stuff. I love it Space Jamlin. It's either Bugs Bunny or Michael Jordan. I can't remember. They, like, rip a hole through the Warner Brothers logo.

Love that horizontal, vertical integration. I think is what we'd call that. I don't think that's actually what vertical integration is, but it's fun to say. That was our animal of the week, the hair. Let's see. Other things, you know, Jesus really, I mentioned this before.

Sometimes I come in with a clear agenda, like let's, I think one year we did, we power ranked the 10 Plagues of Egypt, which was a lot of fun. We haven't done a good old-fashioned power ranking in a while. I think we got to maybe bring that back in a couple weeks here. We got, you know,

quick preview of what's, coming up on the show here in April. It's going to be a busy time. We might have a little little bit of a kind of all over the place recording schedule. Next week I'm going to be in Louisville, Kentucky from Thursday through Sunday. So there's a very good chance you get some sort of live show, live for me, not for you, when I'm recording from Kentucky. We have done. It might be a fun time in some capacity to figure out a way to revisit our old bourbon taste YouTube show. I think that was one of the original Bean Town Unplugs.

A lot of those were music acts in various forms. But I think one of our Bean Town Unplugs, if you go to YouTube, was a whiskey tasting in like a hotel room outside of Louisville or something like that. I think I got Maker's Mark and Jim Beam, maybe I don't remember what, like four or five of them. Took a picture outside of Transylvania University.

That's right. Transylvania University in Lexington. Washington, Kentucky, if you can believe it. I don't remember the name origin. I'm sure we looked it up, but this was literally like season one of the show. So it's been, have a couple more gray hairs in the beard since then. Apologies. We have our horse names special in a month here.

We're, what, got to be four weeks away from the horse name special. So get your names in Beantown Podcast at yahoo.com. We got four weeks left for listener suggestions and nominations. And then just other weddings. I mean, that's a wedding weekend. Weekend before is a wedding weekend. It got my anniversary. So there's a lot coming up.

I do want to thank you. We mentioned earlier, Topaz Elite Club. Thank you for everyone who participated in this year's Pledgestrived Talthon fundraiser. Topaz Elite gifts have been sent out. And I think everyone's received them. We had some commemorative hats this year. So if you missed out, don't fret FRET. we'll be back for the 10th annual Pledge Drive's Health on Fundraiser next February.

It's already only 10 months away. Time flies when you're recording a podcast and having fun. So I was telling my mother-in-law this, you know, it's a classic common conversation between my mother-in-law and I where we're talking about, you know, the conception of Jesus. And the whole thing of like Mary and Joseph weren't married, here's the thing. I got two leading theories on this.

I feel like Mary and Joseph, there's two ways we could look at this, okay? The whole Jesus' dad thing. Because whether it's the birth of Jesus Christ or Anakin Skywalker, I'm just not buying this whole immaculate conception deal, okay? It's just, it's the most obvious cover-up. Like Schmey Skywalker, that's right, Schmey, S-H-M-I, was obviously banging a Tuscan Raider or something, I don't know. It doesn't matter.

Let's focus on Jesus. Focus on Mary. So one or two things happened. Mary and Joseph were banging before they were married, which was so not kosher and ancient Judeo-Christian law or whatever. Although, so here's the thing with Mary and Joseph. Like there weren't Christians before Jesus came around. Just Jews, right?

Jesus was like the OG Christian. king of the Jews Do Mary and Joseph This is going to sound blasphemous But I'm going to explore Do Mary and Joseph get into heaven? Did they have to like Sit down with Jesus

Their kid and be like Oh yeah Like we believe what you're putting down We're picking up what you're putting down Like we are going to repent and be born again And so now we get a fast pass into heaven What if Joseph was like on the fence it's Joseph in hell?

These are biblical questions worth exploring. I got to tell you this. And I'm not trying to take like a male-oriented stand on this. This is just how I feel. Mary gets a shit ton of, you know, everything is the Blessed Mother Mary. Everyone's talking about Mary. There's something about Mary, Brett Far. We all want to be like Mary.

No one gives Joseph any credit at all. I haven't even gotten to my two leading theories yet. But you never, I mean, look, there's a lot of people named Joseph. And you got St. Joseph's. Like, that's where my aunt is a elementary school teacher, St. Joseph's Catholic school in Bryce Lake, Wisconsin. But no one feel, I feel like no one's revering Joseph. Okay, that's a simple way to put it. No one out there is revering.

Joseph. We don't call him the Holy Father. He's a patsy. I feel like it's about time. This should be the Easter of Joseph. Was he still alive when, you know, Jesus was getting crucified and stuff? Even like when they roll away the tomb, right? It's like Mary Magdalene's running and one of the apostles. I don't know if it was Thomas or whomever is running. Well, it wouldn't have been Thomas. Maybe it was Benedict or Bartholomew. That's what I was thinking. There isn't an Apostle Bennett, but there was a Bartholomew. What do you think was the name of the 12th sub, the guy who comes in when Judas dies? That's a good trivia question that we could look up, but I'm feeling lazy at this point, so I'm not going to.

Another James, wasn't there like, I think like seven or eight of Jesus' apostles were all named James. Jesus had a brother named James, I think. 12th, I am going to look it up because now I'm curious. 12th Apostle after Judas. Matthias M-A-T-T-H-I-S says he was chosen What do you think that application process looked like?

Well, and here's the interesting thing It's like how long did these apostles like stick together as a band Because one direction when When Zane died It's like we're not going to be one direction anymore Then Harry thinks he can have a solo career What we've all seen how that went

Louis Tomlinson's kind of the only one Who's making it big he's going to be at Summerfest this summer this summer in Milwaukee. And we get back to the Jesus thing in a second, I promise. But let me get this straight. Jesus dies because Judas, the kissing bandit. At some point, I think it's that same weekend. There's a lot that happened that weekend.

Judas kills himself. So it's like the apothe, I'll call him the apostee, the 12, they're down to 11. Did we ever stop to consider that the whole Jesus plus the 12 apostles adds up to 13, that's super unlucky. No wonder you got crucifried. Crucifried. Oh, that's new at Burger King. This Easter weekend, crucif fries. They're like regular French fries, but you got a little cross going on.

That could be extremely delicious. A little bit of salt and vinegar, isn't that what they put on the sponge when they're feeding or they're, yeah, I mean like giving Jesus the sponge at the end of the stick when he's hanging up there on the cross. It's like a sponge with vinegar and I think it was salt and vinegar potato chips. They kind of stick to the end of the sponge if I remember. I don't know if that's met. That might be Luke or Mark.

It's one of the lesser known gospels. How did we get to crucifries? Crucified. So let's just say Judas dies. Jesus comes back, rolls away the tomb or rolls away the stone, and leaves the tomb. I don't know where he, you know, he kind of rolls away the tomb and then they go and the tomb's empty.

It's like, what was he doing? That's a little sidebar. Did he have a meeting, like a Zoom call? Where, like, what did he have to do? Why didn't he wait in the tomb for them to come find him? Because then it's like what, you know, Mary Magdalene and Matthias or something, they're running back and they're running to the tomb, they're running back and it's like, oh, Jesus, he's gone. It's like, you know, at the end of the concert and the sound of music, they're gone.

do do do do do do boom you owe me a boy ralph lieutenant this week on the bean town podcast a complete three-hour radio old school radio style reenactment of the rogers and hammerstein classic the sound of music high on a hill is a lonely goat heard yeah yeah he who um yeah where did jesus like where did he have to go okay we got too many loose threads here let's try to tie this up so we can get we can get a move on they get a replacement for judas which is fine but that's not just going to be like an overnight thing

that's you know an application process and screening and you know interviews whatever assessments why did they even need the group of 12 after Jesus comes back and he goes to heaven. Like how long were the 12 of them just like hanging out living together? Like do they share a studio apartment? What's the deal?

Do they have like families? You know, what's really going on with these 12? Why did you need like that core group of 12 even after Jesus left? And the funny thing is you had all these apostles, Peter and Bartholomew and Matthias and James and James and James and James and James and James and James. and Andrew, I might have missed one. But after all is said and done and the dust settles, and I hear it was very dusty back in antiquity,

Paul, aka OG Saul, not the OG King of Israel, but kind of the second OG, becomes by far the most famous apostle we've ever had. And he wasn't even one of the core 12. And so it really makes you wonder and kind of scratch your head, Like how worth it was paying all these, you know, HOA fees and dues to be member of the 12

and was Jesus really scamming us the whole time? Like, he's charging us 20 shekels a month or whatever to say we're one of the 12. And Matthias got boned big time because I bet they, you know, the whole Judas scandal, they probably had to raise their fees to cover their butts. So the Sadducees wouldn't get involved. S-A-D-D-U-C-E-C-E. E-I-S-E, something like that. I don't know.

It's sad, you see, how I can't spell it. Or the Pharisees, an easier one to spell, which I will refrain from spelling. Probably start with a pH, like my chemistry homework. But why did they even need the group of 12? Why did we need a Judas replacement? Just stick with 11 and let it be.

Let it be. One Docton, Yeah, do do, but do do do do. Closing credit song, Fellowship of the Ring, Let It Be by, what do you think, E N-YA? One of those one-named artists like Cher, Madonna, Adele, Prince, Jesus. Okay, so to cap this thought, I got two theories. either Joseph and Mary were banging when they weren't supposed to be

and then they had to come with a cover story. Oh, Immaculate Conception, I can't believe I got pregnant. We were only doing hand stuff. Or, and we're going to go a little bit more NSFW here, I apologize. Joseph got cucked big time by the angel Gabriel. Okay, let's remember here. So even though they're like everyone knows they're together, maybe they weren't living together.

maybe Mary was sleeping by herself or they're having an argument, Joseph's on the couch, whatever. This is nine months before Christmas because Jesus was definitely born on Christmas day. So we're here in March 25th, right after my birthday. And, oh, the angel Gabriel, we're reading from the scripture now in my mind. This is what the scripture says. The angel Gabriel comes in the middle of the night.

Okay. I think we understand what's going on. And Mother Mary is. is taken aback. She's moaning. It's, you know, it's a whole thing. It's hot and heavy. I don't want to get into it. But next morning, oh, she takes the pregnancy test. Wow, I'm, I'm pregnant. Whoa, that's crazy. How do that happen? Wow. No idea. So these are the two likely suspects. And I would love, if we can bring him back from the dead, Mayor of Cincinnati, Jerry Springer. I would love a little, you know, kind of three, three, person action here. I guess we could still do it on Mori. We bring back that show, but I prefer,

I prefer Jerry Springer because I like when the crowd chants, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. And you get Mary up there and it's, you got the text at the bottom, who is the real father? We could try to work God into this too, but I'm trying to avoid the whole, you know, fantasy element to this, trying to keep it realistic. So you got Mary and then first it's like Joseph's there, right? And it's like, you know, Joseph's like, that is not my baby. We are only doing, you know, mouth stuff. And then all of a sudden it's like the, you know, he gets the card and he's like the lie detector, he's also determined you, or not the lie detector, but the paternity test revealed,

you are not the father. And then it shows Angel Gabriel and he's backstage and he's, he's like pumped about it. And Joseph's like feeling super vindicated. And he's running around the stage and the bouncer is kind of getting in. involved, but he's really excited. And then it shows Mary and she's like, I don't know. She's like, oh, like, are you kidding me like that? No. And she's just kind of stunned. And then it shows Gabriel backstage. They got the camera crew back there. And he's like pumped about it because he's like, oh yeah, hell yeah. This is going to be my. Actually, no, let's go the opposite way because he's

definitely not supposed to be fornicating with Mary. Like there's no way God signed off on that plan he just kind of like snuck into her her room in the middle of the night and you know did his stuff and i don't think it was rape i like i think they were you know they were probably like in on it together i assume these angels have like you know big dicks essentially but uh so he's like he's in denial you know they call him doubting peter and the you know and you know that would come to that's a whole other thing doubting peter but what was the deal i had this on my instagram too Why was Peter having a, why did he have a sword? You know, they come to arrest Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethemite,

2000, 20 years ago or whatever, and Judas smooches Jesus, which the whole story for a different other time, they may have been hooking up. I would need to do some more research on that. But then Peter is like, here, let me show you, say hello to my little friend. but he says it in Hebrew and he whips out a sword you know what the stupidest thing is like bro if you're going to go kamikaze mode with your sword okay go for the big dog go get your ponches pilot your herids

your julius caesar whoever was hanging around back then he takes his sword his trigger happy little apostle peter and he takes off a servant's ear what are we doing here what are we doing here I'm just imagining they're all sitting around. You know, it's a big brouhaha and, you know, tensions are high and Judas is kissing Jesus on the cheek and then the other cheek and then the mouth. And now he's slowly down his washboard abs and yada, yada, yada is a whole big thing. But there's a lot of tension in the air and they got the torches lit like the, you know, the album cover of Foster the People's debut album, Torches, which I love. And all of a sudden, Peter's like, well, here goes nothing. And he whips out his sword, finds this, you know, I was going to call him an intern.

He making five shackles an hour. He's not. He's like a slave, basically. And he's like, here, I'm just kind of cut off your ear. And it's like, whoa, I just imagine like a record, you know, like the record kind of stop. The record, whatever, you know that sound effect, right? When like the record abruptly stops. And everyone just is like stare and look at him.

Like, whoa, like, bro, what the fuck? Like, what, like, not necessary at all. And this servant's got blood spouted out of his ears, and I don't think health care was very good back then. And, yeah, so Peter's kind of on my shit list. If I had to do a power ranking of my shit list this Good Friday, Peter is number one. I would say God's number two for being omnipotent

and just kind of letting all this play out. number three Mary for like coming up with a cover story you just you can just say I just banged an angel like I wouldn't be that mad it's fine you can still here's the cool thing you can still hook up with an angel give birth to Jesus he can be the savior of men the king of the Jews the lamb of the blood of Christ whatever

because he came like came from an angel like that's cool that's badass but because you like try to cover it up and made it up like oh i don't know how i got pregnant like we use protection whatever it's like you look you make yourself look so bad when you lie about it i think that's what there's something about mary it's the lying frankly i never seen that movie but that's what i imagine but yeah we never really quite finish off the jerry springer but Gabriel's like he comes out and there's a big fight between Gabriel and Joseph and the bouncers have to get involved and it's a lot of fun and the crowd's just chanting Jerry Jerry Jerry all meanwhile little baby Jesus is just hanging out in the womb how's that for you know poetic rhyming

Jesus starts in the womb, he ends in the tomb. Womb and tomb, Shakespeare couldn't come up with that. That's only Jesus and Mark and Matthew and Luke and John. We've probably gotten into this before, but the whole, like, why do we need four gospels? Like, there's not four exodus, and that's, like, a way more interesting story.

The Jews had, not one in the Jews column, the exodus and the ten plagues and moses straight up killing a dude and the egyptian magicians we never talk about the egyptian magicians parting of the red sea walking across an entire body of water like way more badass than you know the whole jesus thing and infidelity with the angel and why the apostles even needed a 12th apostle after judas like i don't know the jews Jews got it right there. I would say the Jews definitely win the story award. They win the cookie award, the haman-toshin.

Absolutely delicious. But I think Christmas dinner, I will take the Gentile Christmas dinner, your classic honey-smoked ham, honey-baked ham. Excuse me, Jesus approved. I'll take that over the matzah. what's the name of the like thin like cracker kind of thing you know what I'm talking about it's kind of tan in color yeah I'll take that I'll take the honey baked ham okay and uh oh there's something else oh Jesus totally badass like for all the faults that we've gone through today

not so much about Jesus like he's getting by pretty much unscathed here the water into the wine thing, extremely badass. Like I was talking yesterday or whenever Passover was, was it Wednesday? Wednesday or Thursday, I was talking about like how badass the angel of death was, killing all the Egyptians. Like obviously badass. But dude, Jesus from a more like pacifist perspective, Jesus bringing that party, it was in a lull.

so taking it bringing it from that two back up to that ten water into wine there's good wine too I assume really a kind move from the son of God I do want to

before we get to our trivia question here I do want to say thank you to our sponsors we won't run through all of them but just to list them by name our good friends at Cuts by Q are friends at Home Pride Oregon, the Samson Q2U series, and Beantown Sportsbook. Whether you're getting a haircut or whether you are placing a bet on the final four,

Illinois versus Yukon, Michigan versus Arizona, whatever you are up to, maybe you're speaking with God this holy season, or whether you're getting your home inspected. It doesn't matter. Thank you for supporting our show and thank you for supporting our sponsors. All right. That's that. We talked about our swollen ranula.

We talked about how Jesus was born, Angel of Death, our Animal of the Week. Let's jump in here. You know, it's fun to talk shop, if you will, to talk Bible and stuff. But let's get into our trivia questions. There's a bonus question. and we will keep it under an hour mark for each. In fact, trivia question is not too intense. So we should be done in about five minutes or so here.

If you're looking at the time after the fact in your podcast app and it says we still got 15 minutes left, something went horribly wrong. I don't think that's going to happen, though. I'm ready to finish my bushlight, take one last longingful look at the Collectors Edition, Northern Pike, and move on with my day. move on with my holy weekend you know Jesus is about to get crucified what do you think they really did on

Saturday we don't really talk about it much we kind of go right from like oh Jesus is died you know he's dead why did you forsake me lord next thing you know he's rolling away the the stone doing something I don't know if he went to get a coffee or what all right I've been on some like weird Indiana Jones in the last crusade kick for the last like 48 hours between listening to the music and looking at the IMDB page, and I can't really explain it. I don't remember where it came from initially. It's like two days ago. I just got it in my head.

But there is plenty of good, since this is a fairly religious episode, there's plenty of good religious trivia artifacts, yada, yada, yada, associated with Indiana Jones across the board, but certainly the Last Crusade. So if you never seen the film, Indiana Jones and Last Crusade from 1989, I believe. It's going to be a tough question. But we'll pose it anyways. This one's for the film buffs, a three-parter, and I got a bonus question available as well. But at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to catch you up on the plot, so he's been looking for the Holy Grail or his dad has been,

Sean Connery, rather, Henry Jones, Sr. And they kind of get, they're back and forth, they're tussling with Nazis, there's Zeppelins, there's biplanes, there's all sorts of stuff. But at the end of the day, they're in like Syria or Turkey or something, and they get to the cave where the grail is. And the bad guy, the Nazi collaborator, Donovan, is that his name? Donovan and Elsa. They shoot Sean Connery in the gut, and he starts to bleed out. It's like the only way to save your dad is to go get the Holy Grail for us.

And if he takes a sip of it, his wound will be healed. but they're in this big cave, this big like underground city, and it's like, well, how are you going to get there? So that's your preamble to the trivia question. To get from the starting point to the actual Holy Grail and the ancient knight, there are three God-themed challenges, quests, however you want to characterize it, that Indiana Jones must pass through. and each one has like an actual name. I think that's referenced in the movie that has God in the name in each of the three. But if you can get that, that would be extremely God tier. I will be happy if you can actually just name, like describe the actions Indiana Jones has to take.

So there's three like tasks he has to take on to pass to get to the Holy Grail to save his father. Name those three tasks. And there are all God themed. They relate to God in some way. in spirit as well as their title. So there you go. There's the trivia question. Now you have to think back to the plot

and try to remember what does he actually do. What are the three things? I got to tell you, I think Last Crusade is the most enjoyable watch for me. And I feel like I find myself going, I mean, this isn't a frequent occurrence. This is once every couple of years. But I find myself gravitating slightly more towards,

this is going to be a hot take, but Temple of Doom rather than Raiders. I think just gun to my head, Raiders is still by far the best movie. Maybe not by far, but it is the best movie. Like, I'm not trying to debate that, and I love Raiders. It's a classic. But I think, I don't know, I think I enjoy Last Crusade the most. And for all its flaws, I think I watch Temple of Doom more than Raiders.

But I think we can all agree that the trilogy is leaps and leaps and leaps. And then some bounds above Dial of Destiny. And then there's, I don't even know if I, if Kingdom of the Crystal Scholar Dial of Destiny is worse. They were both largely disappointing. Not a particular surprise when that happened that they came out and they were disappointing. But it's just, I think especially with Dial of Destiny Spielberg coming back for it, it was just like, I thought it was going to be solid.

And it was just a little bit below solid, which is tough. Oh, well, they should have left, should let Harrison Ford stay back there with Archimedes or whomever they go back to find going back in time. Okay, so the three quests that Indiana Jones must go through. Number one is the breath of God. And I don't remember actually now that I think about how that relates to the breath of God, but it's like the sawblades. It's kind of like the booby trap. Very similar to the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

he's got to pass through like the spikes and the buzz saws and stuff so that's the breath of god then the next one he comes on to or comes up to is the word of god and this is where you have all the letters on the floor on the stone tiles and he has to step on the right one if he steps on the wrong one he falls through to his certain death and he has to spell out the word jehovah and there's a great great Christian song and the bridge is there's no God like Jehovah, there's no God

like Jehovah. And the chorus of the song is, I just think of it now because it's like a song we would sing on Easter growing up, but it's, Behold he comes riding on the clouds, shining like the sun at the trumpet sounds, lift your voice, it's a year of Jubilee and out of Zion's Hill salvation comes.

What do you guys think that song is called? out of Zion's Hill Salvation Comes. It's called Days of Elijah. There you go. Apparently it's from 2001. So I guess that was like a hit single when we would sing it in church because I remember that as a kid growing up. So that was like the latest hot new Christian single, Days of Elijah.

The Word of God, he has where he's step on the Jehovah tiles. And then probably the most famous one. The last one, before he gets to the night and the grail, he has to take the path of God, which involves the leap of faith. A great visual kind of camouflage effect where he has to walk across the narrow bridge. And at the original camera angle, it just looks like a giant chasm. And he has to take a step and trust that everything will be okay. And it is because there's actually a bridge there.

So there you go. The breath of God, the word of God, and the path of God. And here's your bonus question. That's the end of Indiana Jones and Last Crusade. What about the beginning? He, as a young child, played by River Phoenix, steals a particular artifact, the cross, which ties up this Easter episode nicely. From Explorer, and then that's the whole opening sequence of Last Crusade.

And then at the end of that opening sequence, it's like 12 minutes long or something. He gets his hat put on him by the Explorer. and then it cuts to present day, 1944 or whatever, and he's fighting these guys in the boat in the middle of the ocean and the storm, and he's trying to get the cross back. So the question is about the artifact, the cross. Which explorers cross is that? It's not a real artifact.

It's a fake thing from the Indiana Jones universe, but which explorers cross is Indiana Jones trying to recover in the opening of, Indiana Jones and Last Crusade. My clue, two clues, one, alliterative, two, Kansas. The hard sea sound is doing a lot of work here. Kansas, cross, another cuss sound.

A Mexican explorer who made it all the way from Mexico to Kansas. Pretty badass. I'm out of old-fashioned, which means the answer is Coronado. It was the cross of Coronado. that Indiana Jones was trying to get back. Well, Maple is over here fast asleep with visions of dancing hairs and Easter bunnies and egg hunts and egg drop soup

dancing through her head, which means it's a good time for us to say goodbye and wish all of you a happy Easter. Thank you so much for tuning in to the ninth annual Beantown Podcast Easter special. My name is Quinn David Furness. I hope everyone has to be able to be. has a fun, safe, happy Easter weekend, have some ham, dye some eggs,

and get into an argument with your Catholic grandmother, not mine, but my wife's maybe about what Mary and Gabriel were really up to behind closed doors when Gabriel, well, you know the rest of the story. My name is Quinn David Furness. This is my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast. Happy Easter. Stay safe, stay sane.

I'll check in at you next week. Bye-bye.