Beantown Podcast - 9th Annual Horse Names Special

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

Quinn comes to you LIVE with the top 10 horse names of Season 9, along with LinkedIn babies, Smashing Pumpkins, & watered down Fireball

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quind David Furness presents the Beantown podcast. We are coming to you live on the last day of April here, Thursday, April 30th, 2026, season 9 of the Beantown podcast. What's going on? What's happening? How are you? Whether you are listening on demand or you're watching our live stream on YouTube here. Thanks so much for joining us. Good to see you. We are coming to you live. for our ninth annual horse name special, which is very exciting. We got Maple in the house. She's over here gagging live. It's really nice.

And we're going to be talking all things horses today. Kentucky Derby in two days, Saturday, May 2nd, live from Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky. We'll get to our top 10 list in a little bit here. and we'll crown a new number one for this year. Add it to our pantheon of champions. We'll have nine number ones after this year, all leading up to season 10 of the show next year.

It's going to be really exciting. At that point, we'll have 10 number ones. That's when we can start getting into, like, Jeopardy territory where they start to run a million tournaments and you're like, when are we just going to have a normal game? Never again, It's always going to be this champion's coming back. 2018, number one horse names coming back.

2022, number three is coming back to the wild card round. That's right. We're going to, the whole next season, season 10, the whole from, I would say February through June, is just going to be every episode weekly is going to be horse tournaments. We'll sort of be the plan. So looking forward to that, we'll start off with second chance horses. Then we'll get to wild card horses. then the whole month of April is probably just going to be if you finish between three and five,

we're going to do a triple knockout elimination style. There's going to be pool play, which I'm excited about if you've ever watched the World Cup before, which makes sense if you're listening from Pakistan. Hello out there. Thank you so much for listening to our show and making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. I don't know if they have horse racing in Pakistan. I don't know if they have horses in Pakistan, but maybe we'll find out together.

And by the way, I am the chief, I'm the host, the creator, and the chief bugler of this program. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast. But yeah, I'm thinking, you know, once after next year, now that we're going to have 10 seasons, that's 100 horse names to work with. I'm thinking we'll probably do, yeah, I think a pool play for the wild card.

So every horse goes up. up against the other horse. Three times in a pool, there's going to be 18 pools, groups A through T or whatever the 18th letter of the alphabet is. And then that'll be, yeah, that'll take probably a month, I would think, worth of episodes to get through it all. And then eventually it all lead up to our Beantown podcast, Horse Ring of Champions, which I'm really looking forward to, which is going to be, you know, kind of a, kind of a

season long thing. So probably from like the middle of season 10 through season 11 every week, we'll probably do a deep dive, kind of a month-long dive, I would think, four episodes dedicated to each number one horse name. So that will take us through 10 months. And then the last two months would probably do the actual sort of, you know, head-to-head, you know, quintuple elimination kind of tournament structure. So I'm really looking forward to that. And then what could be fun, I think, would be to start introducing like, you know, they have kids jeopardy. This is going to be full jeopardy, not F-U-L. This is F-O-A-L jeopardy.

We're probably going to be having celebrity horse jeopardy. So I'm thinking if we could get like a Mr. Ed type to host, because as much as I love hosting, you know, I've got a lot of my plate. So we kind of outsourced that kind of the Colin Jost doing Pop Jeopardy. We get Mr. Ed to host, you know, celebrity horse. Jeopardy and obviously I mean we could bring back your Justifies your American Pharaohs you know Seabiscuit the third I think it's going to be a lot of fun so that's kind of what we got in the hopper here for our horse name specials and we'll get to our names we're still going to have

Animal of the Week which we'll start off with shortly here we got a trivia question at the tail end but of course before we get into any of that I should let you know what we're drinking today I went to a bottles and cans store last weekend to get, you can, you know, make your own four pack. And they've just got a real variety all over the place of beers that you can pick out. And so I got four tallboys. I didn't actually end up getting into any of them. But one of the four, the first one I am imbibing in here is from Old Irving Brewing,

which is just down the street here in Chicago. It's the Kentucky Common. It's a cream ale, about 5.1 percent from the Kentucky region. And so we're going to get two hands on the wheel. Jesus take the wheel. Give me one more chance. I'm going to let it go. Big week for American Idol references here.

Earlier today, I was talking to my friend. Congratulations to my friends, Molly, and Tom. They're getting married this Saturday. It's really exciting. You're probably out there thinking, gosh, Saturday, I thought something else is going on. Yep, their ceremony is happening at the exact same time. as a Kentucky Derby.

I know they picked it just to spite me, but I don't want to get into it. But I made a Justin Guarini reference in a text thread earlier. And then last Sunday was our anniversary. Shout out to my lovely wife, Rachie Baby 95 at hotmail.com. Dot net.

I can't remember. We went out and we had a nice day to ourselves watching a movie, The Drama, with Robert Petitinson and Zendaya. And while we were walking into the movie theater, heard a song that I had not heard of nor thought of in what feels conservatively like at least three plus years. Just an artist as well, just out of the woodwork, couldn't have like named this randomly if you had given me 20 minutes, I think, of the most random artists you could think of. Jordan Sparks Tattoo. And now I say it, it's so random.

I can't even remember how the song goes to hum it or sing it for you live on air. Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you. But that's not like the main hook. It's gimp-dun-dun-dun-dun-d-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dun. On my heart, just like a tattoo. I feel like that was kind of like a lot of these American Idol people outside of like carry into it, obviously. but like the big ones if you will like Chris Daughtry and whatever they have like the big single coming out of American Idol sometimes it's sometimes they have the like their first smash singles like

you know Kelly Clarkson moment like this where it was like the song that was in the show or um I'm trying to remember who else had that but anyways but then sometimes it'll be like the big single is or like what's their first big single after the show and I think for Jordan Sparks it was no air if you remember that one i think it was with chris brown and it was funny because she probably had no air he was probably choking her uh i don't think they dated i think that was more of a chris brown riana sort of thing uh and then jordan sparse like her second her second like big single i think it's probably her second album i don't know i'm just making my way up making my way downtown walking fast smoking glass and i'm homebound do do do do do maple you better warm up dude we're doing

an interview with a dog in a second year. I think the second lead or second album lead single or something like that for Jordan Spark was tattoo and that was a big deal and then for me at least, listening to 97 ZOK growing up in Rockford kind of fell off.

You didn't really hear much from Jordan Sparks from a mainstream angle after that. So to hear tattoo was just nuts and Chris Dodgey was kind of the same way not to do a full deep dive here but you know he had like home was his big single from his lead album remember i'm going home to the place where i belong and um

and then it feels like tonight right that was like the second single but then he came out with the second album and i know i really liked it and i think the lead single is that song no surprise it's no surprise that i'm leaving tomorrow it's no surprise that i'll stay through the day yes you and i'll be a tough fact to follow But it turned out of n'em, it was no surprise. You still listen to that one, driving the bus to detasseling corn. Oh, man, 2010, what a time to be alive. First sip of cream ale.

It's pretty good. It's not quite as creamy as I thought it was going to be. It's kind of Guinness-esque, I guess. Al-Ginnis-esque, that's no moon. We also, this is a special treat right off to the side here, didn't, just kind of went for it. We've had a thing of fireball over here for way too long, and I poured myself a little glass.

It's on the rock, so that's going to cut into it a little bit here. But we'll take a sip now, and then we'll take a sip at the halfway point, and then we'll take a celebratory sip when we unveil our ninth ever top horse name of the year. Fireball, obviously, not really a rocks kind of drink. I don't know if it's going to be better or worse because of that. I think we're going to find out. I'm not planning to do like a slow sip throughout. Slow sip could be a horse name.

I'm not planning to do a slow sip throughout the show. It's three poles is the plan. One now, one at the halfway point when we thank our sponsors, and then one at the end to celebrate. So do, do, do, do, do come on. So let's see. Here's pull one. We'll see if we can do it in three.

That's my vision. You know, I do think it's better cold than warm. I think when it's cold, it really kind of, I wouldn't go all the way to say it's smooth, but having the ice cube in there helps because that waters it down obviously a little bit. So anyways, let's kick things off here. We said listeners, discussions, vice, we think Pakistan, I think we're locked and ready to go. The animal of the week is not going to be a surprise. In fact, we did the pony.

a couple weeks ago, maybe like a month ago. So today we're obviously, we're going to keep things simple since this is, you know, since this is our horse name special. And we'll get away from the quadrupeds or whatever. There's some, isn't there? There's like name for a hoofed animal. Email us Beantown Podcast at yahoo.com.

It's like cows and horses and pigs. They all have, it's one of those things that comes up on Jeopardy like once a month. And I'm like, man, I should know this. And then they say it, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's the answer. And then two seconds later, I forget about it. Not a herbivore, not an omnivore. Hooft.

Hooft, hoved, hoved, hoved animal, Latin name. Something cool like that. Let's just learn something. And then we'll get to our horse of the week. Ungle it. That's right. Let's all learn something. So our animal of the week is the wild horse.

It reminds me of that song from the Killers' most recent album, which was called Something. It's not asphalt medals. That's Death Cat for Cutty. What was the Killers one called? It's like their Western album. This is really embarrassing. We got so many things to look up here.

We got so little time. Runaway Horses is the name of the song. It's a duet between Brandon Flowers. the lead singer of the killers and Phoebe Bridgers. Runaway horses, killers. It's one of my favorite albums of all time. How can I not think of what it's called? Pressure Machine.

There you go. Let's move past it. But the album, if you're not a killer's person, really, or if you hear the killers, you're like, oh yeah, Mr. Brightside, I know it. Go listen to Pressure Machine. If you're looking for like a great, I mean, this thing's five years old at this point,

but looking for a great folk western kind of album. The ungulet, they're members of the diverse clade. Now, you guys heard about this term, clade, C-L-A-D-E, diverse clade, also known as a monophyletic group or natural group, group of organisms composed of a common ancestor in all its descendants. That's interesting, I never knew that. Clayed, C-L-A-D-E. Unglitz, they're members of the diverse clade, iungulata. Now there is a horse name.

Maybe it's Uungulita. E-U-U. That's right, two U-S. I didn't stutter. Did I stutter? E-U-U-U-N-G-L-A-T-A, which primarily consists of large mammals with hooves. One's part of the taxon,

sorry, taxon. Ungulata, along with peongulates and tubulenditis, that's right, tubalentitis, as well as several extinct taxa, T-XA. Unguleta has since been determined to be fought.

Polyphaletic grouping, which is, well, that's to our first honorable mention of the night here. I believe, let's make sure we got our list in front of me. I believe polyphaletic with a funky little spelling, F-I-L, instead of the pH. That's our first honorable mention, I believe. It's not first in the list, but it's in the list. So we didn't rank order our honorable mentions. I believe that came from Brother of the podcast, Walter Furness. Thank you for your contribution.

We got this little taste for you. We're going to get there in a second, I promise. But wild horses, I love, they got those barrier islands in Maryland, Virginia, Del Marva area, generally. Acetigue, Chinquitig. One starts with a slang term for your butt, and the other is a slang very, very, a what's a slang term it's a it's a negative i mean it's like a bad slang term right there's slang where it's like oh yeah that's just slang like it's not bad and then there's like racism that's where i was going with chinketyg so i don't really want to dive into that further this is a very happy

joyous occasion the horse name special but to get our thoughts uh thoughts on our animal of the week as well as our horse name special generally speaking maple this is your maple we're talking hey Dude, over here. This is our second horse name special together. You were here, obviously, for our eighth horse name special. I think you enjoyed that. So to get your thoughts on this year's horse name special, this year's Derby, obviously, we're going to turn it over to one of our more popular segments here.

If you're on YouTube, she's upside down right now, which I don't know how it'll affect the quality, but here we go. It's time for interview with a dog. So Maple, your thoughts generally on the derby field this year? Now, Maple, horse names in general. You obviously can't speak, but you could, like, spell with a Ouija board if we had one. If you were going to make up your own horse name for this year, what would it be? Last question, do you want cheddar cheese with dinner tonight or you feel in Colby Jack?

That's Colby Jack. All right, well, there you have it. Interview with a dog, folks. That's as good a way as any. Dude, you're on the cord. bro go back to your spot dude interviews over you're getting my carding in all hairy bro dude okay thank you dude your court your foot is stuck on the court jeez all right i got one last thing i got to mention here because it just pisses me off uh what is that willam defoe when he's

playing uh doctor not dr octopus the green goblin um what's his name norman osborne and he's in his final fight against Toby McGuire and he says it's something like I try to be nice to you Spider-Man but now you have really pissed me off that's how I felt when I went into LinkedIn this morning now I want to give a preface I am not like a LinkedIn is not in my rotation

of oh let me go check this let me check that my rotation right now is firmly like Reddit number one and Instagram I spent a solid amount of time on, but nothing like Reddit. And then like Twitter, I would say once a day I get a good scroll in, but Twitter is such an echo chamber that you end up seeing. It's like, oh, the last time I was on Twitter, I liked this and I liked that. So the next time on Twitter I only see the things related to what I liked the last time, which is good in theory. but then you end up like your content is not diversified at all. So Twitter is a little bit of an to me.

And I still scroll Facebook because it's just like the Wild West. You don't know what you're going to see on there. I guess the one thing you know you're not going to see is any posts or updates from people you actually know and care about. But you could see some wild stuff. And I'm part of some wild groups. Like you may know you're from Rockford, Illinois, Wynn, and you see all sorts of stuff.

or the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta choral society, my old connections to Rockford Opera Legend, Scott Farrell, in opera music in general, and you see all sorts of crazy, zany stuff. And a lot of just like neighborhood community news, sometimes relevant, usually not, but that's what I go to Facebook for now and to poke people. But LinkedIn, to get back to the story

so we can get into the horse names, I promise. I know you're itching. I went into LinkedIn randomly this morning, just totally on a whim. I wasn't really looking for anything. But I still haven't found what I'm looking for. And I swear, the third post, third or fourth post on my feet, I'm not going to docks this guy. I never knew him for very long.

It seemed like a perfectly nice guy, but I lived with this one guy in college for a summer. who, and this is separate and not meant to be a positive or a negative thing, just a bizarre thing that happened. This was like the gayest man I think I'd ever met in my life, just mannerisms really into theater, like scary how much he liked Hamilton. I think it was, I can't remember. But a perfectly nice guy, like I'm not saying any negative things about this man, but just like my gaydar was 100%.

This man has a wife and a kid now, which is relevant to the story. So I don't know if it was a conversion therapy like in that movie with Austin. Not Austin. What's his name? The guy from Manchester by the sea. What do you think, Mepel? Lucas Hedges and Russell Crow, Nicole Kidman. But Lucas Hedges wasn't Australian, but his parents were.

But not in the movie, just in real life. And Troy Savon had a great song for the movie, Your Revelation. Anyways, I don't know if it was a conversion therapy thing. You know, I said I was going to save my second pull of whiskey here for halftime, but I'm going to need it to talk about LinkedIn and conversion therapy, two of my favorite things. It's really not so bad.

It's just a little sweet. The ice cube helps a lot, frankly. Anyways, the gayness, the last. Lack of gayness is not relevant. Here's what I wanted to say. I go on LinkedIn. I see a post from this guy and it's pictures, right? It's like three or four pictures of him holding his baby in his work office.

And so I'm like, oh, that's kind of strange. Because he's like posing with the baby. I don't know what he does for work, but some sort of corporate office. And he's like posing with the baby, then a group of people with the baby and all sorts of stuff. The post is like, and of course, you know how it's. starts. I'm so incredibly honored to have gotten the chance to receive this award, yada, yada, yada. This man's in the middle of this paternity leave and he said, you know what, let me take my baby and this post is like, I'm so incredibly honored to have had the chance to reconnect with my colleagues

over whatever corporate bullshit. This guy spent a day of his paternity leave going into his corporate office downtown bringing his baby so that the baby could meet his co-workers and then like if you're like close with your co-workers and you're like when you're here your family olive garden style and you want to you know bond with your co-workers maybe you haven't seen him and i don't know how much paternity leave this guy gets i feel like on average paternity leave in the u.s is about two hours so i don't know how long it had actually been since he'd seen his co-workers but But just the, it's not so much the idea of like bringing your baby downtown in your, you know, four month old downtown into a corporate office, which I would never do.

Like, I would be like if I really missed, if I loved my coworkers and missed him that much, I'd be like, let's drop the baby off at Grandma's house. Let's go get shit-faced. I know a great recipe, fireball on ice. It's not as bad. And it's not like a Disney on ice sort of thing. you can get drunk it's great do you think they sell alcohol at like disney on ice and stuff do they have that kind of stuff for the parents i've never been to one of those events i have no idea

seems like a missed opportunity if they don't what bugs me is the whole bullshit lincoln corporate speak like bringing your baby in it's one thing if you want to like put your baby on Instagram, you know, Facebook, whatever, but we have crossed a line officially. We are crossing the Rubicon of posting your baby on LinkedIn. I have had it up to here with LinkedIn. And I don't want to get into like scary to look at and listen to Erica Kirk podcast territory. So I'm going to collect myself and stop there. Did you guys last point here, I promise. Then we're getting in. into our names. Did you guys see this whole Erica Kirk podcast thing? She's got some sort of podcast. I don't know. She said she's a CEO of a company. I don't know much about Erica Kirk. But the video is

going around of her freaking out saying that she's being racially targeted because people are dressing up in white face to impersonate her, which I guess to her dressing up in white face means people who are white who dress up as her and that counts as white face and that's like a racially offensive thing i don't know but it's more than just her being weird about it she is like scary she's got like the all black outfit with like the black hat she's like huffing into the mic and her dude i'm not we're not going to go all the way into politics right versus left kind of thing but my last point here the whole in trump agent orange falls into this as well the whole um republican outcry it's not all republicans let's say mega outcry against free speech

is just holy moly spent all this time bitching and moaning about how they're not allowed to speak their minds and then james combe says we got an 80-7 46, 47, which is not a murderer thing. That's like we're taking it off the menu. Like, you know, let's take Trump off the menu. Let's impeach him. Let's get him out of here, whatever. And then Erica Kirk, I don't even know what her problem is.

It was the whole Druski, who I don't really care for. But in this particular instance, I'm all, I'm behind him, dressing up in white face to impersonate Erica Kirk, hard to say. And she's bemoaning it, bewitched, bemoaning. I, it just, their whole platform sucks and it's not interesting. Let me leave it at that and want to wait into politics. But I think you guys know how I feel. Okay, we'll come back to our notes here for our final trivia question.

But we are here. It is time you have patiently waited 27 minutes to get to the list. So let me just give my quick preamble and then we're going to actually get into the names because I think if you're here, if you have survived 430, whatever episodes of the Beantown podcast, you probably have a pretty good sense of what the deal. You have always, this predates the start of the show nine years ago. I've always had a fascination with not necessarily horse racing, although I like to catch the triple crown every year. I've always had a fascination with the concept of horse names and they're so

unique and there seems to be no rhyme or reason and you can mess around with spelling and you can just kind of do whatever you want it's it's it's your horse and to me that sort of creativity and total unbridled pun intended kind of sense of you know do whatever you want that has always been really interesting to me frankly and so even before we started this show i always had like names in my head of like, oh, this would be a great horse name. And I think my number one back in season one was the one that I always kind of carried with me that I thought would be a great horse name, which is Episcopalian. And that is the number one horse name from season one of the show eight years ago.

And so we have carried this tradition with us every year, right before the Kentucky Derby, we do our top 10 horse names special. And I will clarify, what does that mean? This is a distinctly markedly different. then last week, this is a good dichotomy. So last week we did favorite names, top names from the NFL draft. That wasn't me doing a key and peel sketch coming up with names. That was me literally pouring over the list of guys who are like, you know, projected to be drafted, whatever, most of them were.

And just saying, oh, that's fun. Like, that's interesting. This is taking the creativity to a whole new level. So this is a matter of, I heard this phrase or I had a dream about. this and that feels like and it's you have to just feel it feel it when you know it know it when you feel it like that could be a good horse name so that's what we have curated here over the year literally the last 52 weeks i have been writing things down i have been very selective but i am happy to say that that we have a healthy list of honorable mentions on top of our top 10 list so

we're going to read honorable mentions we're going to do 10 through 6 we'll do an ad read and then we'll finish up with 5 through 1 and our trivia question of the week. So thank you to everyone who contributed this year. I did my best to try to tag or track where these horse names came from, who submitted them. I also will do my best as we go along to give context. Not every name needs a two-minute story about, oh, it happened here. This is what it means. but, you know, it's more interesting, I think, than just spending two minutes reading a list of 10 names and then moving on to the next thing.

So our honorable mentions, we already mentioned one. This came from my brother Walt, and he's a frequent contributor, which I very much appreciate because he's got a good eye for this stuff. Polyphiletic, that's P-O-L-L-E-T-I-C-E-T phone home. I'll be right here. classic and that came up when we were talking about ungulates i'm proud of myself i remembered ungulates it's been 15 whole minutes since we talked about it and i actually remembered maybe this is the spark i need to remember what ungulates mean we'll see hi maple hi buddy uh our next honorable mention this came up uh early this year

our animal of the week was the uh the mighty bat b a t and so we We came up hyperbacula, H-I-B-E-R-B-A-C-U-L-A, not related to Scott Bacula. This is hyperbacula, and that hyperbacula by itself is not a name, but it's a pun on words, play on words of hypernaeculum, which is a protective, insulated, and usually underground shelter, like a whole cave or pile of logs or stones where animals like snakes, bats, and amphibians hibernate to survive the winter. So a hypernaeculum is a zoological term, that's right, zoological, for basically a bat cave where they sleep in the winter.

And so that's why hyperbacula rather than hypernacula is one of our honorable mentions. And I got to tell you, I will mention this one specifically. Like, when I was trying to come up with, like, who are the real heavy hitters here? I had hyperbacula high up on my list because I like it a lot. but we ended up having another bat related name that I just could not pass up on and I didn't want to have two in the list. So, but it's important to be making an honorable mention. Next up, this was a sign, the name of a restaurant encountered in, we're just going for it with the fireball poles, by the way. Isn't there a reindeer named Fireball in Rudolph Reddose Reindeer?

He's like Rudolph's friend in the opening when they're playing the reindeer. your games and then he kind of gets a line or two at the beginning and then he kind of falls off you don't really hear from fireball again i'm able she's looking right in the camera you kind of look like a like rudolph don't you buddy you got anything to share for the show nothing uh this is a spanish name because it's from the canary islands serviceria cafeteria My accents were a little bit off there. I apologize. Serviceria cafeteria.

Would take too long to spell. We'll plow right through it, but that was the name of a restaurant in Tenerife, the largest, or one of the largest, one of the top two largest, maybe the largest, who knows, of the Canary Islands, and I thought it was fun. It's a special shout out in this next one to my old job working in human resources and ended up having to do a lot more like HR, IS, information systems, tech stuff, than I would have anticipated in my talent acquisition role. But my friend and former colleague, Jen, submitted this. Thank you, Jen.

It's Redwood, like the tree. And that's the name of the, that was the name of the platform that we used for our H-CM, our human capital management system. It's like, so it's through Oracle, but, you know, they've got kind of like Mac. It's like, oh, this is Sequoia, or this is Yosemite. This is Half Dome. This is, you know, Kings Canyon or they got cool names. This was like the version that we were on. It was Redwood.

But the spelling here is Red and then W-O-U-L-D. So mixing it up as in Red Wood do this or Redwood do that. So shout out to Jen, who's holding down the fort there. to Paul, talent acquisition. Rest in peace. This one I liked a lot. This is one of the earlier names. This comes from May 2025.

So this one survived. This was a conversation with my mother who works for state government. And so the name itself, which I really liked. And this was probably if we had to have a number 11, probably put it there, although I liked hyperbacula too. Government bloat comes in as an honorable mention. Government bloat. just an all-around solid horse names.

Not trying to do too much. Staying in its lane. There's not a crazy story. It's just you take it at face value and it's a good horse name. So government bloat is an honor. We'll mention. Got a couple more here. Second P-trap.

We went through the whole bathtub saga. It's not the last time you're going to hear about a saga. The whole bathtub saga a couple weeks ago. two months ago or whatever, but the second P-trap was presumably the issue now. You will be, if you're like me, you will be depressed to hear that the bathtub is back to not draining again, which is really fun. What I've determined through conversations with chat GPT is that it's not like a hair claw issue. It's some sort of venting issue. Deep in the pipes, like the minds of Moria.

and when you live in a apartment building, there's not a lot that you personally can do from it from your own bathtub access. So we had it really good for about three weeks where the drain drained and it was really cool. But unfortunately, the second P-Trap only provided temporary relief. Second P-Trap is an honorable mention. This one was on the menu at Long John Silver's,

which I don't know if I've ever been to and ordered from, but you certainly drive past it. You never, excuse me, you never in Chicago just see a Long John Silver's. It's always a combo, right? Long John Silver's and KFC. But I saw this on the sign outside, maybe two months ago. And this is very much in the spirit of the Chabata Dipper, which was a Panera item from maybe a year,

two years ago, not that long ago. So this year on the menu at Long John Silver's and another honorable name mention. Buttermilk shrimp nibbler. I think maple, that sounds pretty tasty. You like buttermilk, you like shrimp, and you like nibbling. So you'd probably like the buttermilk shrimp nibbler. Not quite as punchy and efficient as Chabada dipper. And it's not as Italian either, but honorable mention goes to

buttermilk shrimp nibler. You got two more honorables than we'll get into the actual list. Next up, this was a wolf in Norse mythology, which I just thought it was badass. I had it included in here. So Fenrir, F-E-N-I-I, excuse me, F-E-N-I-R-I-I. That's not it. I'm going to spell it one last time. F-E-N-R-I-R, Fenrir.

and I just thought like it's a badass name and it means a cool like wolf from Norse myth what more do you want to say about that it's really cool so that's Fenrir don't have any crazy stories I just came across it and was like that's got to be on the list

and then finally from our recent Woodford Reserve Distillery Tour three weekends ago came to just heard this in the tour and I was like this this deserves to go on the list. It just, it's a nice, tight, efficient name, Frementer number four.

That's right. They got all these big, you know, tubes coming out of the ground. Looks like you're playing Super Mario Brothers. And there's all sorts of bubbles and yeast going on. And so I thought, hey, when we got to the room that housed Frementer number four, it's worth throwing into the list. So there you go. there's the honorable mentions. You're probably thinking, holy moly, that list was tight.

That's just the honorables, guys. Now we're getting into the actual top 10. Maple's thinking, what the heck, that was just the honorables? Are you kidding me? Yeah, we got a whole top 10 list to go here. So, without further ado, let's grab a swig of beer, a fermenter number four beer, and then we'll do 10 through 6, thank our sponsors, and then cap us off at 5 through 1. coming in at number 10, one of the most recent ones that has come up. This was just like, what, two weeks ago last week, but I loved it. You already know me.

I love alliteration. We've got multiple alliterations going on here. Coming in at number 10, Cyan Saga. So I don't even remember how we got into Cyan in the first place, but we were talking about it like a week or two on the show. and it was a sion saga whatever we were talking about sion is like a like a someone who like as an heir to a throne essentially is a sion and i don't remember what we were talking about maple do you remember i don't know but there was some sort of long-winded story related to a sion the car i think and then we looked up what sion actually meant and it the whole thing turned into a classic bean town podcast

minute sidetrack sion saga so coming in at number 10 is the sion saga number nine is our listener entry of the year we always reserve one spot to give a shout out to our favorite listener name that came in so this year we already mentioned him once we'll give him his flowers it is brother of the show walter furnace with his suggestion coming it at number nine load master and this one would be ripe for a changing of the spelling so we'll just do it live on the fly l-o-d-e-m-a-s-t-r loadmaster it was the name of a plane when we were at the u.s. air force museum in Dayton ohio or is it the air force museum or it's like the air and space museum something like that I don't know but maybe Air Force I think Air Force

We were there and we saw this badass plane that I don't remember what it looked like, but it was the load master. And what I like about load master is like it's obviously a great horse name, but it also kind of will get NSFW for a second here. It kind of evokes the I like concept of, oh yeah, horses have very large units, let's say, and you would think that when they are ready to procreate the particular load, they would be masters of that load and it would be quite the endowment so that's kind of the the NSFW second angle to this that is running in my head when I say a horse is named loadmaster and there will be very

many there will be many loadmaster juniors and the thirds and fourths for centuries to come they'll be sired I think would be the official horse name that's number nine load master number eight you know how when you're watching those drug commercials and you get the fine print and sometimes they'll like read them off but sometimes you're just left to to read it for yourself and it's in like point you know 1.2 size font and the people are like dancing and the couples like getting ready to have sex again and yada yada yada and you got to try to read the fine text at the bottom of the screen and it's always like you know sudden death may occur casually i saw a phrase in a smoking commercial i don't know if it was Zimbalta or what, but helping you quit smoking.

And this was just a perfect term, alliteration. And I thought this, this is, this is ripe for horse name. So coming in at number eight, cessation, sensation. It's very kind of rhythmic, right? Like it could be in like a music, a song, like a sensation, sensation. It's spelled just like it sounds, C-E-S-S-A-T-I-O-N. space C-E-N-S-A-T-I-O-N. We could find a way to work Cretation in there as well.

Cretation sensation is not a bad horse name. Don't be surprised if you get to like season 17 of the show in eight years here. And number four on the list is Cretation sensation. I guess I said spelled like it sounds and then I proceeded to spell sensation with a C. So shows you that the old Irving is kicking in here. But yes, number eight, if you want to quit smoking, you're going to want to discover your personal cessation sensation. There you go.

Coming in at number seven, this is actually one I lack some context for. This was spoken by my wife on a work call like six months ago. And when I heard it, I was like, this is just perfect. It's got alliteration. It's one of those things where it's not like a non-concelling. sense phrase, but you're sort of like, when, when am I going to say this in real life? And it just has to happen organically. You can't think of it.

Number seven, newest niece. Newest as in the most recent in niece as in, you know, your brother's daughter, N-E-I-C-E, just like it sounds. Number seven, newest niece. If you're looking for an every man, you know, get the job, done, not flashy, really solid horse name, newest niece. Just imagine, close your eyes and think of, you know, Preakness, Churchill Downs, whatever, and the horse running down the back straightaway,

running up against Animal Kingdom and justify, you can absolutely see newest niece, give them a run for your money, or at least I can. And then one more before a break, this is, you know, this isn't like a tradition per se, but there's just so many good biblical names that it's hard not to include one every year. And this was one I was shocked that we had not used yet. And it's so spot on. It's a wonderful horse name that I had to throw it in here. So number six, rounding out our bottom five, or first five, they're all winners here.

Number six, Pharisee. Sadducee is one of those ones that could come up in season 12 or whatever. but Pharisee, just a quintessential horse name. It really captures the spirit of the activity. That's Pharisee with a pH. Got the belches here. It's a good time to go to our ads. So there you go.

That's number six. Pharisee. Sorry to all the Jesus heads out there. We're doing some representation for the... I don't know. What is a Pharisee? It's like a Jewish high priest, I think. What's the difference between a Pharisee?

a Pharisee and a Sadducee. I don't know. Let's get to, let's briefly thank our ad sponsors here. It's been a second since we said, thank you. First and foremost, Home Pride, Oregon, are you tired of selling your house for less than a quarter of what it's worth, all because you couldn't find a reliable home inspector in time? Well, Oregon listeners, they got good news for you.

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Again, that's 541-40406. or email, Homeprideorgan at gmail.com, home pride organ inspection, perfection. I also, of course, want to give a big shout out to the Samson Q2U series, whether you are listening to old Pharisee Tales or fairy tales, Pharisee Tales or anything else, horse name specials, it's probably coming through in high-quality 580P 4K 5GLTE because of the crisp, clear audio quality you get from the Samson Q2U series,

from Genesis to Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, so on, so forth. When God speaks, he uses a Samson. I also want to thank our friends at Cutsby Q, Bob and we, we all know the hairstyle, we all love it. But how many Chicago-based independent barbers can actually give it to you the way you deserve, long and hard? Enter Cuts by Q, it's little like Enter Sandman only different. cuts by Q has been independently owned and operated since 1995 and is probably one of the better barbershop operations serving Chicago, Cook County, Northwest Indiana, and the greater Chicagoland area, and will drive to Lake County if you tip well. From beehives to bangs, foahawks, the flat tops, and everywhere in between. Call cuts by Q at 815-298772-0 or email cutsby queue at yahoo.com.

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Halfway pole of Fireball here. If you're wondering, is this the halfway mark of the show? No, this is halfway of the top 10 list. We got another 10, 15 minutes here. Round out the names, trivia question, and then time for some jeopardy, I think. It's a good way to spend the night. Maybe catch the Wild game. Go Wild.

It's funny, the Minnesota Wild, they're playing the Stars, Dallas Stars, who used to be the Minnesota North Stars. It would be like if the Timberwolves played the Lakers. in the next round of the playoffs, which I don't know if that's how the seating works, but here comes mom. So goodbye to our co-host, Maple. She'll be gone for the rest of the show,

whining and barking and crying. All right, we resume our top 10 list here. Coming in at number five, this is a shout-out of my colleague, who I will not name because I didn't ask her for permission or anything, but this is a fantastic name. I didn't ask my colleague, Jen, I guess, either, but she submitted the name.

This one I just took from a particular Zoom call, which I absolutely loved. This is a fantastic name. This is our last alliteration of the show. So, you know, spare your tears. What is that weekend song? It's like, save your tears for another day. Wow, wow, wow, wah.

Remember when the weekend was casually an uncut gentleman, and he's like kind of hooking up with the what's your name something fox Samantha fox that's one for the 1970s heads Julia fox you know when I hear that when I hear Samantha Fox who's some famous um model or actress or something I don't know she's before my time but it reminds me of this banger song that you might not know about maybe if you do if if you're plugged in like I am sort of a music head but Elton John and George Michael of Wham fame had a great duet in like the 80s I assume called not light him up rapper up and there's like the regular version like the radio edit is like four minutes and then

there's like the album version which is six minutes and then there's like the club remix which I love which is 10 minutes but as part of the end of the song they like go through and list all these names of like hotties essentially over time it's fun because it's George Michael doing any he's super gay and is naming all these beautiful attractive women that he'd like to wrap up but Samantha fox is is one of the names and I can't think of any of the rest of him right now but if you haven't heard wrap her up it's a it's a great 80s bop the actual name number five coping with crafting just you've heard of coping, you've heard of crafting,

you may have even coped by crafting, but you've never heard in one sentence put together, coping with crafting. I heard it on a work call, I absolutely loved it. It was charming, it was endearing. More importantly, it made a great horse name. So coming in at number five,

coping with crafting. Kind of like the Copacabana, but you're coping with crafting. Here we go. Number four, we're going internal for this one, all the way internal. Downtown, the tum, whatever, however you want to reference it.

This is, it's got a great body part. It's got a great, you know, reference to jiggling, generally, which is always a good thing. Without further ado, number four horse name this year, duodenum Jossil. It's just, how do you even come up with that? I don't know. It's great. I think this was a conversation. with my friend, we were running a half marathon almost a year ago.

And I was talking about how in my 30s, if I have any sort of hard alcohol the night before, as I am having right now, but I'm not running tomorrow. So my duodenum is going to be. It's going to jostle, but it's less of a concern because I'll be at home base. But you're running the morning after, you had maybe two glass of whiskey the night before. You got to watch out because the more miles you pound the best. pavement, the more that duodenum is going to jostle. And you might have to stop into a port-a-potty or a highway underpass or Trader Joe's because there might have been too much jostling. And you're going

to have to resolve this situation. So that's why number four is duodenum jostle. Number three on the list, another late entry. I heard this when I was in Louisville a couple weeks ago listening to my favorite Vikings podcast. I'll give them a shout out, Purple Daily. They know who they are. They're fantastic. My daily podcast listen. And they were doing a power ranking. They have recently started doing power rankings as we are one to do frequently on the show here. And they were talking about like pet peeves essentially or things that make you irrationally angry. And one of the guys was talking about having to make small talk, and they talked about going to get your haircut,

and you feel like you've got to make conversation for 30, 40 minutes. And they dropped this particular term in the conversation, and I thought when I heard it, I was just like, this is absolutely lovely, perfect for a horse. It's not technically alliteration, but you get some of the same sounds going. So this is why, number three, we have arbitrary barber.

I love that one. I wish I came up with it myself. Number three is arbitrary barber. And it evokes like, if you're a barber, you probably have work. You probably got hair to cut next to shave.

Musicals to be in if you're Sweeney Todd. The demon Barbara Fleet Street. Wasn't that Sweeney Todd that had Helen a Bonham Carter in it, but she just dropped out of the white loads. I've never seen Sweeonie Todd. I think I've seen the last scene. Does he die? Does she kill him? Does he kill her? I can't remember.

The whole Sweeney Todd thing is kind of spooky. I'm more of a barber of Seville kind of guy, which I've never seen, but how could you not love the music? So, da-da-d-da-d-dan-dan-dan-dan-dden-da-darned-da-dun-dlan-dun-dun-dda-dun-dun-dur-d-d-d-lom-ppum-pabar-dum-d-d-d-d-l-dun-pum-pah-d-d-d-l-l-lum-ppah-l-l-d-l-l-d-d-l-d-d--l-l-l----d- Bar-da-d-d-da-d-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-all-all-all-a-da-da-da-da-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-old. Arbitrater, coming in at number three. Guys were down to the top two. It's getting serious. And I mentioned that there was a...

going to be more bat action and here it is so and i had i had to put a special this had a special place in my heart because when i got laid off my favorite my favorite part about my old job was teaching and i got to teach with the same amazing gentlemen the whole six years who i've known for a decade at this point because he was adjuncting when i was a college student um but he made a reference to a musical album. I had never heard before. And when he mentioned, because last day of class, late October, it was always like a pre-Hlloween thing. And people were like, you know, we're like playing music before class or like in breaks and stuff. And it's like, oh yeah, come up on YouTube, like throw something on, like something cool that there's a story

about. And so he happened to put on this particular record. And the record is, I believe, called blues for Dracula. And the artist, I don't have this all in front me, so I don't know. I might be getting mixed up with the artist, I believe, Philly Joe Jones. But we had our last class of the year what would end up being my last class teaching in the program because I got laid off. But the name of the record, I believe it was. It was just phenomenal.

Perfect for a horse name. So coming in at number two this year, Bebop Vampire. just two things that are never going to organically make their way to each other. That's the beauty of horse names. That's what I love about it. You're never going to call a barber arbitrary. You're never going to cope with crafting. You're never going to have a vampire who loves bebop jazz.

But in this case, you do. And that's what I'm all about here. Bringing people, bringing names together here. number two, B-Bop vampire. Guys, we're here. Number one. This is an interesting one.

As far as context, backstory, how much do I want to go into it? I don't want to pretend like, or not pretend. I don't want to be like I'm making fun of like where this term came from, how it entered my zeitgeist, if that's the proper usage of the term,

I don't know. Suffice to say it's not an uncommon term in this particular culture, but it was used by a family member. And I don't know whatever happened to the actual relationship, the person this was referencing. Don't have all the context or backstory behind this, but the name itself is just quintessential. And especially if you get a little Latin flare, that's where we're going over. with this. We won't ruminate or nostalgiaate anymore. The number one horse name of the year. My wife's going to like this. She's off camera. Number one season nine of Beantown podcast is Papi Chulo. It's a Latin American Caribbean term for like your man, your lover. He's a Poppy Chulo.

It wasn't, you know, some years I've got it like, oh, I hear it, boom, that's number one, that's got to be it. This was in the running with Bebob Vampire and arbitrary barber and even hyperbacula for a while, but the more I ruminated, the more I thought about it, Papua Chulo had to be number one. So that's it, guys. Here's the top 10 list for season 9, number 10, Sion Saga, number 9, Loadmaster. Eight, sensation sensation, excuse me. Seven, newest niece, six, Pharisee, five, coping with crafting, four, duodenum jostle, three, arbitrary barber, two, bebop vampire,

and number one, Papi Chulo, which I should mention, P-A-P-I-S-H-U-L-O. And it's a little like under the table, nice reference to, anti-tasseling days when we would sometimes drive out into cornfields in what was affectionately known as the cholo van which i don't know if that was like a mexican racist term or if it was italian don't know it's what it's what it was called uh at the time so not trying to racially offend anyone but probably already did that's your top 10 list of the year we are going to finish up with our trivia questions so that can go have some supper.

Here it is. Okay, I don't think we've ever done this format of question on the show, so I'm excited. This is, it's not an uncommon trivia question format in the bar trivia that I've played, and I've certainly, I remember playing a lot of games with my brother in Wicker Park, and that trivia weekly, they would have this type of question. And usually pretty challenging, but you could always get close. Just can you get it all the way? So here it's going to be named the year, and you're going to get three clues,

and I promise you one of them is going to narrow it down by a lot. But the rest is up to you. So here we go, name the year after I have my drink here. Clue one is going to set the scene, and then two and three might be helpful for you as well. So name the year. Clue number one, President George H.W. Bush reinstalls horseshoe pits. at the White House. And I thought about making all three clues horse-themed,

but we settled on one and three being horse-themed. So again, number one, President George H.W. Bush reinstalls the horseshoe pits at the White House. If that doesn't narrow things down for you, I don't know how much I can help you, but there it is. That's clue number one. All right, now the triangulation begins. Number two, Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing, hits theaters.

A fantastic film. I saw it for the first time ever in a film philosophy class in college, and I think that's the only time I've ever actually sat down and watched it. But excellent picture. So number two, Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing, hits theaters. And finally, I'm pretty sure this one is going to help you the least, but we had to throw it in here for fun. Number three, Sunday Silence wins the Kentucky Derby.

So if any of you are haters, out there, you just listen to that top 10 list in our honorable mentions, and you're like, they would never name a horse name that. Well, stack it up to Sunday Silence, and you tell me who's the crazy one, okay? So again, George W. H.W. Bush reinstalls the horseshoe pits at the White House, which had been initially introduced by Harry Truman, by the way. Number two, Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing, hits theaters, and number three, Sunday Silence wins at Kentucky Derby. Take your best guess. If you want any more time, go ahead and pause because we're ready to wrap things up here.

The answer is 1989. Now it's going to make a Smashing Pumpkins reference, but I realize that's 1979. So it didn't quite work. Again, 1989 is when the horseshoe pits came back, Do the Right Thing was released, and Sunday Silence won the Kentucky Derby. That's what I got for you guys. Thank you so much for tuning into my show. Quinn Davis Furnace presents the Beantown podcast and our ninth annual horse names special.

We will come at you live next week. We're going to be talking very soon here. What if you're late on your taxes? Could be next week. Could be even later. Who knows? But we'll have a special guest for that one. You know them.

You'll love them. And that's the teaser. Maybe we should have mid-credits teasers for all Beantown podcast from now. And that would require a lot of thinking ahead, which I'm not great at. So that's where we will wrap things. My name is Quinn David Furness. Enjoy the derby on Saturday, May 2nd. Stay safe, stay sane.

Until next year, we'll check in on you next time. Bye-bye.