Beantown Podcast - Aged Sage, Lords a Leapin', & Performative Santa (12192025 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

Quinn comes to you LIVE to discuss Big Thyme, permanent brackets, and plotting ellipses. Check out the Ballad of Yukon Cornelius here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wncIr5Qcl4

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast for Friday, December 19th, 2025. What's going on? What's happening? How are you? My name is Quinn, and this is my program.

Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast, where I am the creator. the host, and, I don't know, zookeeper. I just gave Maple, she's over here on the couch, co-pilot today. A piece of, I think it's duck jerky? What is it? We got a big old bag. It's one of those oversized bags from Costco that my in-laws got. You know, it's probably like, if you buy the same kind of thing at the local Julesco,

which is Albertsons here in Chicago, it'll be like a dollar an ounce. or something ridiculous like that, and then you go get the Costco bag and you spend three times more than you would at Jewel, but it turns out to be like 27 cents an ounce or something like that. You got to know, just like Kenny Rogers said,

you got to know when to bite them, know when to fold them, whatever it was. You got to know when it's okay to splurge and take the hit up front for the long-term value. And it can be tough. This happens from time to time This is Everyone goes through this

But I think a big one for me Whenever you Whenever the olive oil hits Oh my goodness It's so tempting to go into the olive oil aisle You're all out And it's you know It's towards the end of your list

You already got your produce And your meat Your carnage Maybe some fine cheeses A greer Or a Borson cheese B-O-U-R-S-I-N I don't know if that's the name of the cheese or just the name of the brand,

but it comes in that little circular thing. You throw it in some bowtie pasta with some sun dried tomatoes and boom, you got a TikTok trend going. But you get to the olive oil and it's like you can get the small one and it's only $7 and you're looking at your card and how much you're already spending and it's tempting, but if you really want to go for value, you've got to get the tallboy. And it's tough because sometimes, you know, those things will be like 20 bucks because I guess there's a big olive shortage.

Greece has not rebounded appropriately from their financial crisis. I feel like we heard a lot about like Greece being in financial ruin on the brink of disaster. Like a decade ago, that was all the rage. Pretty much as far as world events went, it was like 9-11 and then Arab Spring and then Greece's financial disaster. and then Sean White and his wife getting divorced. Those are essentially like the big moments from the last 25 years. But I haven't heard much about Greece lately,

but I'm just going to assume that these olive oil prices are indicative of, you know, Greece's financial position or lack thereof. But yeah, you go, it's tough, and I just did this the other day where we were out of olive oil. to bite the bullet i think i i think i went for the mid-sized one actually it was like goldilocks i didn't want to spend so much and take that hurt up front but you don't want to just kind of do a a band-aid solution to your olive oil problem right what are those other things mean you could you could have this conversation about anything generally speaking that you want to buy a big thing of but like the spices right when you run out of table salt you feel like an idiot who runs out

a table salt. Table salt or black pepper when you run out of those or like a paprika or something and you got to go bite the bullet and spend five bucks just on a spice when you're like I could I could feed a family of six for this with a couple cans of beans and some red sauce or something so when you spend six bucks on paprika or garlic salt or Himalayan pink sea salt you feel kind of you feel kind of stupid don't you you feel like you should be able to get those spices for free which in my case is actually true because my wife does a lot of work for a spice company it kind of sounds like dune doesn't it isn't there there's like a cool i was going to try to like make a sound with my with my voice isn't there like a cool like dune sound or something

it's like ha ha something like that i said i was going to try to and then i I actually did it. I'm not a dune head, but I have seen, we watched both dunes at home, like eight, nine months ago, something like that. And they're making a third one, right? Paul Atreides. I would spend money on the spice in dune. It's, you know, the rosemary and the thyme and the sage where I'm like, eh, do I really want

to drop $6 a bottle on this stuff? You start looking at recipes that are calling. for especially like sage and time and I'm thinking like look if we're talking ginger or turmeric if you need or if you have a recipe that wants some turmeric in there it probably needs to be in there okay there's probably a time and a place for the turmeric and that time and place is right in this recipe like we make this like chicken curry kind of thing and the turmeric is essential you get the yellow coloring you get the real authentic Pakistani flavor flavors. Thank you to Pakistan for inventing turmeric, I assume, and for making us the

112th ring comedy podcasts in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Hyderabad, Kibir Pass. K2. Thank you for shouting it from the mountain top. Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ was born. I used to like that one a little bit more, and now I really don't like. like it just feels kind of hokey and basic which leads us in a moment here to our hot take of the week don't worry i wrote it down it also has to do with christmas songs being hokey i wouldn't call it basic what i will talk about but it's not my thing put a pin in that we'll circle back in a moment here uh but yeah the the olive oil the shelf staples stables is it a shelf staple or a shelf stable because a staple is like oh it's a staple of your diet you got to have it but a stable

would be you want your shelf to be stable you want to be able to build on foundational items like table salt olive oil rice wine vinegar i think it shelf stables though no uh staples with a pea that's what i meant to say and then i misspoke what was the other point i was trying to make about the spice things you feel stupid oh no uh spices that it's like if the recipe calls for this i might be able to fudge it time is up there for me i never took a whiff of time and said you know what and this is just particular to my cuisine the things that i cook but i've never had a recipe that called for time and then i'm cooking and i do have time by the way it's not like i just ran out two years ago and i never chose to restock but i don't ever remember smelling some time as i'm

making a recipe and be like man this time really put it over the edge what recipes are there where it's like yeah this just needs a pinch of time and then it's good t h y m e that was my nickname i'm not actually i'm not even kidding i know i like to joke about nicknames when i say like weird sexual things this has nothing to do with sexual things my my nickname and like my freshman dorm and it wasn't like oh everyone calls you that it was just like within the context of our football intermaral team and like playing madden you know 12 or whatever on the playstation but my nickname was big time because you know you talk about big time throws big time plays big time players make big time plays was like a classic you know you got the stupid color

commentators and those madden games and after you play for a couple hours you start hearing the same phrases over and over again because it's a video game but yeah big time players make big time plays and i was made always always making big time plays and i was always always making big time plays, especially in the intramural football field. If you ever at the Fullerton Red, Brown, Purple line station, the elevated platform there, and you'll look yonder towards the lake, you'll see Wishfield and Catchatory Stadium where 18-year-old Quinn was catching touchdown passes, stiff arm in dudes, and rushing the passer.

That was my, I was like T.J. Watt out there. But yeah, my nickname was Big Time. I had it on the back of my shirt and everything. B-I-G-T-H-Y-M-E, big-time. Sage is also, is Sage the one where you kind of get some of those, they're not like pine needles, right? I'm not trying to go that far, but you get, I don't know, I can't remember if it's sage or if it's something else.

It's something in that family. Rosemary, perhaps, where occasionally I'll add it to a recipe if it calls for it, and then you get like this tiny little you guys know what i'm talking about it's it's not like a classic like tiny little chopped up leaf it's more of like a i don't know it's about yay high if you're looking at my thumb and my forefinger you can see it's pretty small a couple millimeters at best but it's just kind of like a little stick like a pine needle like a very small pine needle and i get those things stuck in my wire uh in my my my bottom bracket on my teeth my quote permanent bracket one of these days permanent bracket would be a good idea for

uh march madness i just create a bracket with my 68 favorite teams or teams most likely to perform and i just throw it out there and if i if i get one single champion right with all the right matchups in games which is statistically like zero percent chance i you warren buffett will give me a billion dollars i'm throwing duke kansas unccc kentucky some stupid school like wafford or something i had no offense to wafford it's just occasionally they'll pop up and win a game probably not winning game but unc greensboro is always like oh yeah the other unc i forgot you guys were here or unc wilmington that's my permanent bracket no what i was What I was trying to say, then we finished this thought.

We'll move off the spice thing, I promise. What's to do with this permanent bracket? I got my braces off and the permanent bracket installed when I was, what, 19, 20, something like that. So it's been a decade, decade plus. And they say, yeah, you just wear it for life. And for the first 10 years of it, I'm like, you know what? My parents spent all this money on this orthodontic work. I appreciate them for that.

Shout out, Jane and Steve. But I don't love the permanent bracket. It's not, look, it's been there for a decade plus. I'm used to it, barely ever think about it. But it is a pain in the ass when you get pieces of sage stuck in there or chicken or, you know, sometimes I am low in the pantry. I'm missing shelf, I'm out-of-shelf staples. And I gnaw on some of the maple's duck jerky.

We have it together like Lady in the Tramp. And that duck gets stuck in your bracket. I'm not talking Oregon, guys. I'm talking actual duck jerky. So one of these days, I'm going to look into removal. Is that something you ask your dentist to do? Or do you have to go find another orthodontics? Orthodontia office.

Orthodontia sounds like it could be like an African-American female name, right? Orthodontia. I don't think that's offensive to say. if it is i apologize to the black community i just think a rich history of names it reminds me of uh michael scott and idris elba in the wire uh not the wire that would be a great crossover uh in the office the michael scott paper company arc charles minor and steve carell asks and he's like firing off rapid fire questions to edris elba's character and he doesn't want to answer any of them because they're personal questions

excuse me, and Michael Scott's like, where did you work before? What was your wife's name? And Idris says Saticoy Steele. And Michael Scott's like, you know, African Americans have such a rich history of names, thinking that Sattacoys Steele was the name of his wife. I still play, you know, under the name Saticoy Steele when I do Office Trivia, which I haven't done in years at this point. It's been like two plus years, I feel like, since I actually played office-themed trivia.

but yeah, Satakoi Steel is my name. I love it because it's just such a niche thing where it's like only the diehard fans will really get it. That's my goal with my naming strategy when it comes to like Star Wars trivia office trivia or Seinfeld trivia pick something really niche

so that when you get there and they're announcing people's team names like at the start of the game, they'll go around the room and you watch people's reactions when they say Satakoi Steel or pick your choice, whatever niche specific name.

And you either get the people who aren't hardcore fans and they're like, what the heck does that mean? Like, what are we doing here? And I know I'm going to take you down because you're not a hardcore fan like me. Or you see the people who know who and what Sattacoys Steel is and you see the fear in their eyes when they realize the true buff that they're going up against. That's the goal with the naming conventions in trivia. just play under the name slumdog because it's great if you win a slum dog other teams are like what the hell it just lost a slum dog are you kidding is this guy playing by himself in the corner of the bar

like how how the heck did that happen or if you lose a slum dog in embarrassing fashion which is more like the other 95% of the time people are like yeah what did you expect he's playing by himself we got tables of eight over here his name slumdog obviously he was going to get last plays. What typically happens is it falls somewhere in between, like, fifth or sixth out of nine or ten teams, and then people don't really care. Or, alternatively, people don't give a crap at all because who really cares about trivia team names.

Let's move on here and let you know that listen to discretion is advised when you're listening to the Beantown podcast. Number one, I'll occasionally use some language. Number two, the podcast is objectively terrible, but I would love for you, especially if you are more of a culinary savant how do you spell that s a u v a n t i actually have no idea is did i add a u is there not supposed to be a u is it just s a v a n t s a v savant dv adams that's not right savant wealth management no savant meaning french how do you spell it um what is yeah i think i think it's added a u

S-A-V-A-N-T, it looks like. Rest in peace, Devante Adams. Didn't play last night. Much to the, there's a word for this. It's like much to the negative benefit of my fantasy team. I was going to say chagrin, but that's not it. Much to the detriment. That's what I'm looking for.

D-E-T-R-I-M-E-N-T. My closing thought here before we move on, if you are someone who knows your way around herbs and spices, email us Beantown Podcast at Yahoo.com. and it's Beantown, podcast, at yahoo.com, legitimately. And let me know, like, what are the top spices out there where it's like, yeah, if your recipe calls for it and you don't have it on hand or are you going to run out and you want to save it for a really special occasion before you have to go spend $12 to get

a new one at the grocery store? What are those spices you can really kind of do without? And I'm sure part of this is just, I think I'm relatively newish or we are in terms of, like, the spices we have in our cabinet now, you know, whereas when I was living alone, you know, as recently as five years ago, I would have spices in my pantry that were from like my childhood home. Like I took them when I went to college or something like that because every, you know, every 18 year old who's cooking microwave mac and cheese obviously is looking to add a little bit of parsley on top. So that's why I had parsley. But what I was getting at is a lot of the stuff

that I used to have probably had completely lost its potency, which is why when I was cooking with it, and I smelled it, I was like, oh, this, I'm getting nothing from this. Well, it's probably less of a, don't, you know, don't blame the sage. You should rather blame the aged sage. I feel like you could have a, like an IPA,

maybe like a spruce tips kind of thing, but aged sage. Tough to say. Reminds me of those sages that you battle early on in Pokemon Gen 2, bell sprout tower such a it's kind of if i can just be blunt kind of a stupid concept you go into this tower and there's all these sages there and they all just have bell sprouts i don't even think there's like maybe the last one like the chief sage or something has a weepin bell or something

which is the next evolution of bell sprout but it's like what are we doing here i'm going all the way to the top of this tower i don't even remember if it's mandatory or not i don't know what you do in this what is it called did i already name it bell sprout tower something like that you're just fighting all these guys with bell sprouts they just got rap and like poison sting or something and growth that's what all the bell sprouts use i think it raises your special attack or something i don't know let's move on enough about spices and sage i do love a good spruce tips beer though quick shout out to one of my favorite breweries uh that does not have a spruce tips beer as far as i but spiteful brewing up in the Bowmanville kind of sub-neighborhood here of Chicago,

straight north of me, a little bit west of Andersonville. I have a friend from high school who is like their distribution guy. And spiteful, great place, dog-friendly, Maple and I. Well, this will introduce us to Maple's Minute here, and then we'll also do our hot take, which I've alluded to. But Maple's Minute is sponsored this week by our good friends at Home Pride, Oregon because the owner and operator of Home Pride Organ is actually potentially going to be taking Maple under his wing for a night. She's listening right now saying, what the heck are you talking about?

Shout out to Steve 541.4100316. If you are looking to purchase a home in Central Oregon, whether you are a first-time home buyer, you're moving up, you're downsizing, whatever it is, go with the trusted experts at Home Pride, Oregon. roofing, plumbing, gutters, foundational issues, issues with the foundation on your face, or maybe you got some old spices, not old spice, but old spices that need some refreshing. He'll give you his opinion on parsley, sage, rosemary, and time. Are you going to Scarborough Fairwell? You can find Steve's booth there. Just look for the big HPO sign, not HBO.

That's a different thing. This is HPO, Home Pired, Oregon, Inspection. perfection we were kind of all over the place on that ad read i loved it it was chaotic maple's minute uh is that she's a little bit upset kind of depressed well really now she's just sleeping but maple's minutes uh this is straight direct quote from maple says my pop forced me to walk a 5k in the rain like i was training for the presidential fitness test or something i didn't make you touch your toes i think you can do that she's pretty flexible she likes to get up in the morning do a big stretch

and get the downward dog going but yeah maple and i uh because rachel's in minnesota for a work party and so we had the day wide open yesterday and so i said you know this is going to be the perfect chance we got the new car now we're going to drive out to the forest preserve we're going to get a nice walk in so we drive out to i originally had loftier ambitions and then i had to do some work in the morning and had to get back to do some work at night um but we drive so i it didn't have quite as much time as I wanted. So we drive out to the North Branch Trail here, the Chicago River. And of course, as we're driving out there, the rain starts pouring. And I, in Maple, you know, if you could talk, you could, well, we would bring in a second mic, because I'd love to get

your perspective on this. But we were caught between a rock and a hard place because this was like 1 o'clock in the afternoon. She hadn't pooped yet, and she was gagging in the back seat. And I'm just, because we get in, we park. we're ready to start walking and it is just pouring buckets and extremely cold and windy and it's like this is not do i want to walk in the rain and the path is still very icy and slog through it or do i want to risk my dog pooping barfing peeing or all three in the back seat of my you know new car um at which i do have like the dog like mat the dog like carrier thing which is kind of neat but still it's like you don't want to have to clean that out it's like only like the third or fourth

drive i've had in this car so we made uh i made the executive choice much to maples chagrin there it is c h a g r a n to get us walking we spent the first probably mile mile and a half in pretty significant wind and derain and eventually it let up for a bit and then started again as we got back to the car but we got in a solid 5k a new path for maple which was very exciting she got a lot of her sniff work in and then to tie this all together to what i was just saying about the brewery we uh we've capped it off with a trip to one of my favorite breweries spiteful brewing here in chicago and no spruce tips but i did have a christmas ale and a bach i really leaned into the spices which is maybe what inspired the first 10 minutes of

this episode who knows but uh yeah shout out to spiteful maple had a good time but we got there right as it opened so it was pretty calm peaceful quiet inside and she just uh lied down on the floor and took a little nap while pop imbibed and then came back home and we did more work so that was maple's minute our hot take of the week which we've mentioned was forthcoming when we were talking about uh christmas songs i don't remember which one we were oh go tell it on the mountain i'll go tell i'll tell you from the mountain here in my third floor apartment that if you're looking for quality reliable microphone technology, you're going to want to trust the Samson Q2U series. It's got crisp, clear audio quality.

You can use it on the mountaintop. You can use it down in the mines. I watched the first couple episodes of D-O-P-E-S-I-C-K, the miniseries in 2021 on Hulu. I just watched the first two episodes on Wednesday, I think it was. And I think there's eight episodes total, so I got six left. I think I'm going to finish it off, but it's one of those things where it's like, it's not like a big, like, mystery, like what's going to happen. I feel like I have a general sense of, like, how this is going to go, unless maybe there's a big twist.

I don't know, you know, that's coming. We'll see. But it's, what, Michael Keaton, Rosario Dawson, the girl from The Last of Us, Caitlin Devers, I think your name is, Peter Sarsgaard, and others, probably. I don't remember. Oh, Will Poulter, the British guy. Pretty good. I feel like I, oh, in the Michael Stoolbarg, of course,

who had that legendary year where he was in, he was in like three crazy good movies that all came out around the same time, right? He was in The Post, which was the one with Hank, the Spielberg movie, which will, this is all tying together. We'll talk Spielberg in our trivia question, actually. But the Post was Hank's and Streep, right? There was a true story about Watergate. And then he was in Lady Bird. Is that right?

Am I thinking of something else? No, he was, sorry, he wasn't in Lady Bird. He was in, Call Me by Your Name. He played the dad there. That was a great role of Salome. And then he was in one other one as well. Was he in, like, the shape of water or something? Now I've got to look this up.

I thought there was a third one that he was in that he did a really good job in. Which other one? The Post, I think it was a very small role. Calling By Your Name was a much bigger one. And I thought he had one other role that was, like, a really big movie. arrival is that what i was thinking of those all oh he was in the shape of water i didn't even remember that he was in arrival but yeah he had like three big ones in a row i mean he was in a lot of other ones around that time too um where did we go where were we oh it's the samson when god

speaks he uses a samson and of course this show is also brought to you by our good friends at cuts by Q, whether you're looking for bobs, weaves, something in between, when you need a fresh do, something snappy, and you call the experts at cuts by Q. My hot take, and I shared this with Rachel a couple days ago, and I think this is, it's probably if you lined up all the Christmas songs and tried to pick which one was the worst, I don't think my take is necessarily as hot as you could go. Like, I think it would be a hot take to say, like, silent night is the worst Christmas song i think that's just uh it's maybe short-sighted but uh my pick for the worst christmas song

and i know all the all the classic suggestions out there right the uh the one hippopotamus dominic the donkey grandma got run over by reindeer uh i will listen to arguments for i saw mommy kissing santa claus just because of how sheerly irritating michael jackson is in that song and I would certainly entertain arguments for Go Tell It on the Mountain. And I don't know, anything else you want to pick. Songs I would not entertain arguments for would be classics like, Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, Jingle Bells, Rudolph, the list goes on and on. Island of Misfit Toys.

But my pick for my least favorite, what I think is the worst Christmas song, and I've given this some thought. And it's tough because it's a very unique song. song you're not going to find anything else like it but i just i hate it 12 days of christmas first up what the heck 12 days of christmas that wasn't a thing when i was growing up and it's still not a thing we got six days till christmas right now has it 12 days already started do they start on christmas day is it some before some after i've never heard anything about there being 12 days of christmas so strike one strike two is just how long this freaking thing is

I mean, you hear five golden rings, what, like eight distinct times? And you get the partridge and the pear tree 12, 13 times, however many, it's 12, I guess, however many times I say it. Or is it, I think it's 13, right? Because you say a partridge in the pear tree the first time, and then you got to go through 11 more distinct ones. I don't know how that works. Maybe it is 12.

Maybe I'm overthinking it. It's a whole thing where, like, usually when you're counting numbers, you start from one, but then there are sometimes when you start from zero. It always got me tripped up. In algebra 2 class, you got to do like X minus 1 or something like that. There's always like sometimes I wrap my head around it, sometimes I don't. And I feel stupid either way.

Oh, I did pretty well in algebra 2. I hated when you had to do all that x, y, axis with the plotting and the ellipticals and stuff. Not ellipticals, ellipses. And you have like the specific equations. or it's like x minus 1 divided by y plus 1 equals z or something then you got to plot it it's kind of it was kind of fun when it was just like you know give me the give me the graph paper and i'll put little dots and connect the dots and then it got harder than that and it was

less fun probably because i couldn't like theoretically grasp the concept and apply it into real world practical meaning so when you're just trying to study these things theoretically i would be the worst like theoretical physicist in the world i think if you lined up every single person from start to finish or from excuse me that sounds apocalyptic start to finish if you line up every person in the world i think it'd be in like the bottom five percent of people who could be successful a theoretical math or physics just not my jam but to cap my hot take the third thing i hate about the 12 days of Christmas is there's always, you know, there's a sporkel game or a trivia question or someone grills you on the street about, hey, what was, you know, what happened

on the 11th day of Christmas? And I'm just like, I don't know, it's got to be one of those barons, you know, baking or Lord's leaping. The maids are milking. There's drummers drumming. There's high wire tightrope axe. I don't remember who's doing what at 11. Again, it's all theoretical. I've never seen Gieselayan around Christmastime, and I've certainly never seen Lord's Leaping. So when I can't actually envision it happening for real, it's really hard to remember what happens.

This could have been our trivia question today, but I hate it so much that I want nothing to do with it. Partridge in a pear tree, two turtle doves, and that's pretty much what I remember. Five golden rings. I think I could get most of the subjects right, but I couldn't get their quantity. I think I already named like nine or ten of them. Drummers drumming, dancers dancing.

Are there dancers dancing and lords are leapeding? What are those lords leaping over? Now I'm just thinking about like the steeplechase. S-T-E-P-L-E-C-H-A-S-E. It was a fun one to build the steeplechase in a roller coaster tycoon, a fantastic old-school PC game. You can build like the steeple chase, you can build the water slide. We had a classic, like, childhood memory when my brother Jack and I built a water slide in roller coaster tycoon. And I must have been like six or seven at the time because I couldn't spell for shit.

And I, the, the gimmick was, you know, it's, it's, it's, you're like building a park and you can charge prices for whatever you want, you know, admission to the park, bathrooms if you're really feeling European, you know, you name it, water slides, cotton candy store, et cetera. And we, you know, I'm not going to get into price elasticity and microeconomics and stuff here. but my brother jack and i am building this ride this particular uh water slide i don't know i don't know if it was just a glitch or if we just didn't have a good understanding of how much we should have been charging but we were able to continue raising the cost of admission to this particular ride um to what felt like unreasonable amounts and so we said oh we should name this part or this ride keep raising money and we were so bad at spelling i think it it came out and i made my fantasy football team this a handful of years ago but the the ride's name was key like i think it was like

kee i must appear or something raising i think i got mostly right but then it was moni i think it was mone i think it was like mone i or something because we just kept raising moni and people kept ride in the water slide but then if you if you take a sharp curve if you take a curve a little bit too sharp on those water slides, the little inner tubes will fly out and people will die or get severely injured. One thing they should it on a roller coaster tycoon to take it a step further because people can legitimately die on your rides and you can even build them to intentionally murder people, which is wild.

They need to take that a step further and get into like the class action lawsuit game or the personal injury lawsuit game. And now you're spending 10% of your time building a theme park and charging a mission prices for your water slides and 90% of the time in the courtroom at you know depositions and witness interviews and stuff that's the that's the roller coaster tycoon game i want to play forget managing the park get me on the legal team okay uh but yeah that's pretty much what i had to say about the 12 days of christmas i just think the fact that it's so repetitive and it's long right you can't get through that baby and under like four and a half

minutes and if you take a slower tempo you're you're cracking five there's a twisted sister christmas album from like 15 years ago and they do a cover of the 12 days of christmas but it's not traditional right they have their own rock related things that they want like five babes a dancing a twerking, seven strippers stripping, eight rockers rocking, 11 hair curlers and D. Snyder's hair, yada, yada, yada, you give the picture. And the album itself is kind of fun because it's twisted sister, it's, you know, it's hokey and they're rocking out, and, you know, they're having a good time and it's silly. But every time I listen to the album, which I haven't done yet this year, but I will turn it on after this, just to say I got through it once. I skip that one, typically,

because it's just, it's almost too much rock. Which sounds like something you'd get from Spinal Tap. Rest in peace, we got to mention it just briefly here. Rest in peace to Rob Reiner and his wife. Terrible way to go out, getting stabbed by your prodigal son. Maple do not get any ideas over here, buddy. Do I have a favorite Rob Reiner Phil? I mean, Spinal Tap is so good.

It's just, and I haven't seen the second one. yet i've heard mixed things i you know my expectations are super low about it um and i heard some people who just came out and blasted it but i've heard a couple other people whose opinions i respect say it's actually not that bad so i think i'd like to turn it on maybe i'll maybe i'll do that i got an open afternoon here maybe we'll throw on spinal tap two after the twisted sister christmas album but if we're going to fit all that in we got a we got to scoot things along here rest in peace rob riner uh we got a trivia question a top 10 list that is the trivia question in a moment here i just have one other thought here uh christmas related

and then we'll wrap things with our trivia question uh speaking of christmas related our schedule so christmas is uh thursday of next week six days from now i have no sense personally of uh are we recording before christmas during christmas after christmas it's sort of a 12 days of christmas situation here you got 12 days to fit it in uh but we'll come to you live at some point next week i don't know if we're going to have like a dedicated Christmas special or what the deal with that is going to be. We've been talking Christmas already a little bit here and there. But we'll get something in the hopper for you at some point next week.

Maybe, I don't know, Christmas Eve could be an option. We'll see what happens. But my Christmas thought here, you all know I'm a big fan of the Rankin Bass, Rudolph, Red Nose, Reindeer special. We talk about it incessantly. In fact, I am such a fan, and in particular a fan of Yukon Cornelius, that I made my own song. This is not the point I was going to make, but I just recalled that I did this a year ago. The Ballad of Yukon Cornelius is actually my most recent original composition. It's a year old at this point, my last single I put out.

The impetus behind this again was it feels like in Rudolph, pretty much every main character gets a song. Even Clarice, the Doe. There's always, oh, I tried to start high. It was a bad idea. It sounded like, what's his name, Peter from the Brady Bunch? When his voice starts cracking. There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true. Leave in your heart and away.

Messed up the lyrics. I think it's tomorrow's just a day away, something like that. And then the, oh man, the raccoons and the squirrels come in on the background vocals. And they're bobbing their head back and forth. song. But my point being here, before I make my actual point, was I wrote the Ballad of Yukon Cornelius because it felt like every other character gets their own song except for Yukon. And so I wrote a song for Yukon Cornelius. It's called The Ballad of Yukon Cornelius. I got really created with the title. And it's on YouTube. So if you go to my YouTube channel, Quinn Davis Furness,

or if you just search for Ballad of Yukon Cornelius, it's in the top, you know, 39, 41 results, something like that. So just keep scrolling until you find it. But it's just, pretty fun it's only takes up 90 seconds of your time maybe we'll even link it uh in the episode description if i can figure out how to do that i think i got to do that on sound cloud i know but it's a lot of fun it's got bumbles wahoos and more song in the voice the imitated voice of yukon granulias so check it out jack um do youcon was it actually his first name or is it he's i feel like Doesn't it feel like Yukon Cornelius, like his name would actually have been like John Cornelius or something,

and then he just spent a lot of time prospecting in Northwest Canada and got the name Yukon Cornelius? Am I the only one kind of following this train of thought? Let us know. Tweet at us at Beantown Cast. I have not checked that one in a while. We could have millions of tweets, and I would never know. I also had a blue sky account,

or I do have one, but I can't figure out how to log in. So all of my attempts have failed, and it seems like they can't find my account. So we're pretty much officially dead on that one. Which brings me to my last point here before trivia, speaking of officially dead. So at the end of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, you know, Santa returns to the island of misfit toys

that he had, let's say, neglected, to put it nicely. And he scoops up all the toys. he takes him into outer space, drops him down into the earth. The elves are throwing them out the sleigh, the sack. It's a good time. Happy ending. My question is, is this just like a one-off thing where Santa just kind of cleans out the inventory

to make space for the newer models of misfit toys? And like, I don't know, once the cameras stop rolling, Santa Claus goes back to being like, you know, fuck those guys. I'm not going back every year out of my way to the island of misfit toys just to scoop up these toys that no one wants. wants, like, they're misfit for a reason. So with Santa, you know, in this version of Santa and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, the television special, is not the most likable guy, to put it kindly. And so my instinct is that this is sort of just like a one-time deal performative

for the cameras. He knows he's being filmed. So he goes, you know, he's trying to get some, score some brownie points with the big man upstairs, which in most cases is Santa, but in this case it's a higher power and he drops you know he drops off the island of misfit toys gives them you know good homes and stuff like that and then boom that's the end of the special and in years to come the the island of misfit toys is probably overcrowded at this point it's like an alcatraz situation or you can take a more positive outlook on it and it's at you know santa every year makes a pit stop at the island gets the toys cleans it out But then my question is King Moon, what's his name, Moon Raker, Moon Racer, the Lion with the Wings.

If the island is completely empty, I mean, this guy's not making any off of rent anymore. He could fall in some hard times. So he might be incentivized, actually, to keep Santa away so that he stays in business. This is a very interesting dynamic that I think requires a sequel television special. So I know Rankin and Bass doesn't exist anymore. But I would be happy to, you know, sign a deal, write the screenplay. Specifically, you're on the island of Misfit Toys because I think there's a second chapter to this story worth exploring. And we can kind of look at the different agents and players in this game and who is incentivized to do what.

And we'll get more fun songs. And that could be an opportunity for the ballad of Yukon Cornelius to make it into an actual primetime special. not just on my YouTube channel with 35 subscribers. Thank you to all of you. I don't know how many subscribers I actually have. 35 might be generous. That was my show this week. We're going to finish it up with a trivia question.

And I'm going to jump right into it because it's one of those questions where if you really want to play along and not just listen, you're probably going to want to pause because this is the type of question you'd get at like an actual bar trivia night and they'd give you like five minutes

to assemble your list. So I'll give you the question then I'll try to vamp for a little bit. maybe share my top 30 Christmas memories or something like that and then we'll reveal the answer but my question is simply put and I'll try to simplify this as much as possible I don't think that this is adjusted for inflation at all it's going to be box office numbers and I also let you know it's a top 10 thing but I found two different lists that were very similar with one difference between the two So my original list came from IMDB, then I cross-referenced it with a screen rant list,

and they were, nine out of the 10 were the same, and the 10th one was different. So my question, so I'm going to, we're going to do 11, actually, but you only have to do 10. My question is named the top 10 Steven Spielberg movies by worldwide box office performance. So highest grossing is number one, 10th highest grossing is number 10. This was inspired, by the way, there's a new Spielberg movie coming out called, the it's not well coming out it's like he's working on it i don't know it's going to be probably two or three years i don't even remember what it's called it's like dystopia man or something like that dysentery man well let's let's look at it a little bit uh to help me fill the time here

but again top ten spilberg movies by worldwide box office performance i will tell you the fact that this is not adjusted for inflation is going to heavily influence this list if that helps you at all. So you might want to spend a little bit less time in the 1970s and more time in the last 25 years. Not exclusively, but that's my only clue I'll give you. So while you're working on that, we'll spend a minute or two Spielberg movie Disclosure Day. Oh, I saw the trailer for this, or like the teaser or whatever was. I didn't you realize that's what this was. Because I saw the headline this morning, like New Spielberg film to be called Disclosure Day. And I was like, oh, that's interesting.

I'll read more about that later. Now that I'm seeing the thumbnails of the news articles is Emily Blunt at doing the weather report. And I'm like, oh, I watched this teaser or trailer, whatever it was, like two or three days ago. From Wikipedia, Disclosure Day is an upcoming American science fiction film produced and directed by Spielberg. Based on a story by Spielberg, the film stars Emily Blunt, Joshua Connor. Boy, that guy's, you know how every once in a while they'll be a celebrity, where it's like legitimately 10 days ago never heard of this guy never seen him in anything

don't know anything about him and now it's he's been in like five different things and you're like okay there's a lot happening with this guy he's uh josh o'connor was the guy who hosted s&l last week and i think he's in the new um is he in the new nolan movie the odyssey he was in challengers oh not the odyssey he was in the new knives out movie and so all of a sudden it's like And now he's in this, he's a lead in this Spielberg movie. And it's like, okay, talk about next big thing. I mean, this guy's everywhere. And legitimately 10 days ago, I'd never heard of this man or seen him in my life.

Because I've never seen challengers. Colin Firth. Eve Hewson. I feel like I know that name. Where is she from? Oh, she's the daughter of Bono. She was in Bridge of Spies. Oh, she was in that behind her eyes movie.

You guys ever watched that one? Rachel and I watched it. this was during the pandemic came out in uh 20 21 February so like prime time pandemic it was that one where like the it's set in Britain and like the two ladies like become each other or something and they're hooking up with a guy I don't know it was fine it wasn't like a terrible show it wasn't amazing but it wasn't terrible that's Eve Houston and Coleman Domingo who's another one uh you got to have Coleman his flowers I he was wasn't really on my radar in any capacity until we saw he plays like the pimp slash bad guy in that

movie that was based off a tweet a twitter thread you guys remember that one rachel and i saw that in theaters um and i think he you know he'd been around well before that uh and it's known for like broadway stuff and now he's getting more into movies but he uh that was my first exposure i guess he was in euphoria as well um but he was also in um zola that's the name of that one 2021 it was a movie based off of a Twitter thread of like this dancer who goes down to south florida to try to make some extra money on a weekend stripping and or maybe it's not even stripping maybe escorting i don't know but she gets into some deep trouble with her friend riley keio whole other thing the riley keio john travolta thing

we don't even have time to get into it because i don't understand it but she's it's like She's the biological mother of one of Travolta's kids, but it's not like she was sleeping with Travolta. It has to do with like egg donation and Lisa Marie's eggs like expired or something and Riley stepped in. The whole thing is bizarre. If you haven't followed this story, I read it when it first came out like three days ago and I didn't really understand it. So I need to revisit it and try to understand like what the deal was with that story because that was absolutely wild. Yeah, it all comes together, right? Our trivia question was named the top 10 Stephen Spielberg movies by Worldwide Box Office performance.

So we'll go 11 to 1. So IMDB had Raiders of the Lost Ark at 10, and Screen Rant had the Adventures of Tintin at 10, and those were the two interchangeable ones. The other nine were the same. So I don't know what the right answer is there, but if you got one or both of those, congratulations. So again, Adventures of Tintin. and or Raiders of the Lost Ark coming in at number 10.

Number 9, big anniversary this year, the 50th, right? 50th anniversary, the first ever summer blockbuster it is Jaws and number 9. Number 8 from 1989, if memory serves me correctly. One of the greatest third movies in a trilogy of all time, as far as I'm concerned. Indiana Jones and the last crusade.

Coming in at number 7, a film I never saw, on a novel this was what a decade ago or so when this came out ready player one i think that came out when i was in college ready player one i think there was supposed to be a sequel and i don't know now that he's uh spielberg's doing i can't even remember what did we say it was going to be called dystopia day something like that i don't know i don't know if ready player two is ever going to happen we'll see number six an all-time classic and oscar winner saving private ryan coming at number six.

Number five, I think, what is it? Is this the only time Cruz has appeared in a Spielberg film? And probably one of the, I was going to say, like, the last times Cruz has done like a non-mission impossible role, that's not completely true. So he did some of that, like he's in the Jack Reacher movies and Oblivion. But, you know, one of the last, I feel like, runs. of Tom Cruise's, like, legitimate acting run, I guess. I don't mean that in the, like, Mission Impossible is not legitimate acting.

But, right, he had a, he had a period from, you know, the 90s through the mid-2000s with, like, Minority Report, Collateral, one of my favorite movies. And then he, you know, he did, like, Tropic Thunder, the, you know, the classic role there. And then from there, especially in the last, like, 10 years, I feel like it's pretty much just been Mission Impossible. Maybe I'm missing something. I don't know. number four Jurassic Park the Lost World which I've only ever seen once it's got Vince Vaughn in it right

I've never actually seen Jurassic Park 3 I just know the part where the dinosaur turns to what's his name the New Zealand guy Sam Neal and he says Alan it's like a meme on the internet but I Jurassic Park 2 the lost world I guess it's just called Jurassic Park the lost world coming at number four number three hard to believe but it is there Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Again, not Dial of Destiny from two years ago or whatever that was. This was Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the fourth one, 2008. I guess Dial of Destiny wouldn't be on this list because that wasn't Spielberg.

I don't remember who did it, but Spielberg, he might have been involved in some capacity, but the last one he directed was Indiana Jones 4. So that's number three on the list. Number two, ET, a classic. What more can you say? one of the greatest endings in film history all be right here touches henry uh what's his name henry james the the kid actor elliot now he's like a dentist or something what's her name drew barrymore's crying classic man i will tear up every single time i watch

that ending no joke and number one we already talked about the lost world so let's go let's take it one step further Jurassic Park is the highest grossing Steven Spielberg film of all time I think it's over a billion what what can you say about Jurassic Park it's so good I do prefer the novel to the film as far as like the characterization goes I was just on a Reddit thread the other day about like which which movies are very different from the book but both did well and that was high up on the list on the show shining was up there too but Jurassic Park coming in at number one it's a good one Michael Crichton rest in peace that's what I have for you guys today I want to thank everyone for tuning

into my program Quinn david furnace presents the Beantown podcast Christmas is coming it's next week get your stock and stuffers ready and you know if you have gifts for me or maple we prefer e-gift cards sent to Beantown podcast at yahoo.com for all of us here at the Beantown podcast. I hope you stay safe, stay sane, have a happy holidays. I'll check in on you next time. Bye-bye. So, I'm going to be able to be.

Thank you.